Crown of Ooo, King of Ooo Pt5
by jomo2014
Summary: 5 months after the Lich's defeat, the world of Ooo lurches towards disaster. War and famine threaten the peace, and the rulers of the civilized kingdoms are at each other's throats, while Finn remains absent. Can Finn restore his family and prevent the forces of evil from seizing control of the world? Or will an unholy force seize the Crown of Ooo. Rated M for Lemons.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1:

"He's beautiful," breathed Simone. Laying propped up in bed, Phoebe flushed to her hair. He was also Finn's son. She could never forget the fact that she'd come between her two best friends. In many ways, she felt responsible for the fact that Finn hadn't returned. Simone however, never said a word about any of that. She behaved as though they still were the best of friends. It was _eerie_. Simone Mertens wouldn't acknowledge the wound she'd been dealt. She wouldn't talk about it and did her best to discourage Phoebe from even bringing it up.

The tall woman was in a very fragile state of mind. She had awakened from her coma alone in an empty hospital room after spending the better part of a year as the Lich's sock-puppet–watching him do horrific things with her hands and body. She'd awakened to find her husband missing, her father dead, and her family in tatters. Simone was a wreck. If that wasn't enough, Phoebe was _certain_ she was all but carrying Emeraude. Simone was the tenuous thread that had let the wizard-woman hang onto her sanity the last twenty years or so, and Phoebe was certain that Emeraude was a hot mess–teetering on the brink right now. With Finn gone and the kids moved out, Simone was all she had.

Laying the little tyke back in his crib, the Ice Queen turned to the Flame King and asked, "when will they let you take him home?" Flushing, Phoebe murmured, "I don't know... I... my doctor doesn't want to come look at him, and Dr. Princess ruined several instruments trying to examine him..." Drew was trying to help, but she was hopelessly out of her depth. Cole seemed to flow at random from solid to intangible form. There were days he had bouts of it for hours at a time. He was the typical baby most of the time–giggling and laughing–but when he was sick, Phoebe had to keep him in his crib. A horrified Simone stood staring at the elemental woman after that exposition. It took several minutes for the pale beauty to recover her voice.

When she was finally able to speak again, Simone asked, "c-can't Bonnie do something?" With an unhappy sigh, Phoebe replied, "busy with the ice or with the council..." Simone's face curled into a frown. Bonnie was seven months pregnant. She should be at home! Resting! Staring at the wall, face gone hot, Phoebe said, "nobody's resting. Everybody's..." They were all wondering where Finn was, and in their grief, they were all throwing themselves into work. Cherry spent all her time in the council now. Nadia was helping Bonnie with _logistics_. Lollipop had become their go-between, running errands that neither Bonnie nor Cherry could find the time for. They would all rather be out working than at home, _wondering_.

Simone glanced away at that news. They were all falling apart, and she didn't know what to do. She had come to accept this. She'd had little choice when she'd been declared dead for nearly a year. Finn had moved on. What else should he have done? Problem was that he had gone, and no-one truly knew where. A part of Simone feared this was her fault. She felt as though he'd found she was alive and been stricken by guilt and unable to cope. Now _she_ was having trouble coping with nowhere and no-one to turn to.

In happier times, she always had someone to go to. She'd go down, corner her father–usually when her mother was _out_ –and listen to some well-meaning advice. Her father's advice wasn't always spot on, but it always got her thinking. She _missed_ those words. She missed having someone there to remind her that what she was going through wasn't all that unique. She _knew_ Finn often sought Simon's advice as well. Having her father there to help them calm down and think had been the blessing that kept her family from spiraling out of control.

"I... have to go, Phoebe," Simone sighed. Phoebe thanked her for coming, but a distracted Simone was already halfway to the door. The elemental woman winced as the door shut behind Simone, leaving her alone. She had been tempted to go looking for Finn herself, but that was a tough row to hoe with her just done giving birth and Cole still looking a little unstable. He wouldn't be fit to travel for a while yet, if ever. _What do I do,_ she thought, as she'd thought a hundred times or more already? Unfortunately, just as before no answers were forthcoming.

Outside, Simone unlocked the door of the beat-up old truck that had been school-bus, grocery-getter, and family transportation for sixteen good years. Finn and Banana Man had fixed it up and presented it to her one Saturday afternoon while she was fussing over dinner. She'd been so shocked and delighted, she forgot all about dinner, letting it burn to a crisp on the stove. Emeraude had bought them all dinner out that night. Her hands caressed the worn metal of the door in memory. Her husband had scoured the wastelands around Bonnie's capitol for _weeks_ looking for parts and pieces to get this thing running. As she remembered those treasured moments, a voice deep inside her plaintively called out, _where are you, Finn?_

"Your Excellency," announced a voice behind her. Startled, Simone spun around to find a plump, toad-like fellow wearing the robes of a wizard standing behind her. "Hello," she greeted him. "What do you mean by that? And what can I do for you?" Doffing his pointed cap, he replied, "I'm sent by the Electoral Council..." Frowning, Simone said, "I'm not sure I understand..." With a shrug, he said, "you haven't come to take the Grand Master's Wand. I'm sent to find out why..." Simone turned fully to face him now, shock showing in her very posture. Her mouth opened to speak, and she shut again without uttering a word.

Smoothly, he said, "the city has run itself rather poorly since your late father was taken from us so suddenly. It was assumed that his wife would step in. Unfortunately she has completely abdicated her responsibilities..." Simone gawped at him. She hadn't helped with the campaign because she wanted the job! She'd helped because her mother so clearly did. This was completely mad! "I-I don't know where mom is," the beautiful woman stammered. "I-I'll try and find her." And she didn't give him a chance to utter another word. She broke a fingernail in her haste to get the car door open, and she all but tore out of there.

Sucking at her injured finger, the Ice Queen tore through the streets of town, swerving around cars and bicycles alike as she tried to get a grip on herself. Lost in her terror over what had just happened, the former housewife lost all track of her surroundings. She was just about to turn onto the freeway to head out of town when she belatedly looked up and found a Banana Guard truck on her bumper with its lights and siren going. It was only then that she realized what she'd been doing. Shocked and embarrassed, she immediately pulled over. In short order, there was an angry piece of fruit at her window with a gun in his hand shouting orders at her. Shortly after that she was sitting handcuffed in the back of a squad-car, bawling her eyes out.

Elsewhere, Bonnibel Bubblegum sat listening to her inner circle as they reported on all that was going on across the face of the Civilized Lands. For the most part, things were getting better. With the Lich finally buried, there was no longer anyone out recruiting armies to fight for him. The kingdoms had turned their attention inwards to clean up the Thief King's mess. Of course there were still problems. The wild weather was having a negative effect on crops, and there was a real risk there.

Breakfast had the floor just now. "We're seeing shortages in Muscle Kingdom," she explained. Frowning, Bonnie asked, "did Yolanda _not_ implement the rationing program?" Breakfast flushed. She had a lot of trouble functioning in the role she'd accepted. Unused to work and conflict as she was, the ruler of Breakfast Kingdom had a lot of trouble exerting authority. Especially against a friend. With a pointed look at Breakfast, Cherry growled, "nothing's changed, Bonnibel. Yolanda's done worse than nothing. She's assured her people that they don't have to change–that food will be found _somewhere_..." Breakfast sputtered, but Bonnie cut her off with a wave of her hand. Coolly, Bonnie said, "we will institute sanctions on the Royal Family of Muscle Kingdom. Freeze all assets of their family. All the money and all the property being held in other kingdoms."

Grimly, Ragnhild nodded. That job would fall to her. She wasn't enjoying her little taste of power on the Privy Council. There were moments where it hardly seemed their war against Wildberry and her faction had truly ended. They were doing the right thing. She knew Bonnie's heart was in the right place. It was mad that Yolanda thought that her people could continue to behave like the world hadn't nearly been frozen when the signs of the problems were all around them. At the same time, they were going after the prideful wench's jugular, and Ragnhild would have to be the one delivering the bad news since Breakfast couldn't manage to offend her chum. Fortunately that was almost the last bit of business for the day. Only Cherry remained.

In her usual soft, clear voice, the Lord of the Underworld declared, "the survey of the underworld is nearly complete. There is no organized crime remaining in Muscle Kingdom, Laurel Kingdom, and Lizard Kingdom. We were not able to survey the people of Wildberry Kingdom." Hearing that last statement, Bonnie frowned at her and rumbled, "explain..." "I was not permitted entry," said Cherry, "and my agents have not responded to my calls." Fists clenching, Bonnie growled, "this is not acceptable..." "She's at war with us," retorted Cherry. "Did you think there would be no fallout?"

Ragnhild flinched. Both women were prideful. Both had been at war originally over the death of Cherry's first husband. Now they were uneasy allies who shared a man. It seemed mad to the proud princess of Froyo Kingdom. The two women shared Finn the Human like he was some sweet treat. She didn't know how they hadn't managed to tear each other to pieces yet. "This isn't acceptable," murmured Bonnie. "Wildberry doesn't have the right to..." "Let me go and talk to her," interrupted Nadia. Shaking her head, Cherry said, "this isn't a task for someone of your stature, Nadia..." Bonnie frowned. It sounded suspiciously like Cherry expected that one of them might disappear too. That was a concern that wasn't really for the ears of the council, though.

Moving on, Bonnie asked, "what does it mean when there is no organized crime?" Cherry, as far as any of them knew, was the only Royal who truly understood how the underworld even functioned. Most folk thought of it as a world of men randomly robbing their neighbors at best or small groups terrorizing others for fun and profit. "It means more violence, Bonnie," she sighed. "It means men thinking with their balls are in charge at the moment. They... Many of them have little or nothing to lose, and the victors of these nasty little skirmishes have no reason to respect my authority. Marceline may have meant well, but she left us with a mess."

"We should arrest them," growled Slime Princess! Cherry rolled her eyes. "You'd just be making the power-vacuum worse," she retorted. "We're in this mess because the unlawful powers that ruled those men are all dead. There's nobody to institute order. I'm working on the problem, but it's going to be tough and ugly going for a while." "Thank-you," breathed Bonnie. Turning to the others, she said, "I think that's all for now. Get home, all of you. Get some rest. I think things are going to be rather unpleasant when the fall weather comes."

As the others trickled out, she turned to her nemesis and strange new frenemy and said, "Cherry... stay please." The little woman stopped where she was. She didn't really like these private sessions, and she looked a little prickly as the door shut on the last of their allies. Bonnie motioned for her to come out into the garden, as she picked up the herbal tea on her desk. With a sigh, Cherry got up and followed. Once in the garden, the tall princess shut the door and motioned for her frenemy to have a seat.

As the two settled themselves, smoothing out their skirts, Bonnie opened with, "you look tired. Aren't you drinking the tea, Drew prescribed?" "It makes my stomach fizzy," muttered the younger woman. Giving Bonnie a cross look, she asked, "why do you care?" With a dry chuckle, Bonnie said, "because we agreed to bury the hatchet. As far as I'm concerned, that... extends. I'm concerned that you're not resting. You are carrying Finn's child." Cherry flushed and glanced away.

Moving on to business, Bonnie asked, "how long do you think...?" "It'll last," Cherry finished? "I have no way to know. This is unprecedented. If I had Star, I'd have some way to gather intelligence..." That was an old argument. Bonnie waved it away, reminding her rival, "I need her. With Billy now moved to Ragnhild's kingdom and Fionna on the ice..." And of course, Bon was split between being her ambassador and the job of keeping the Candy Kingdom afloat while Bonnie was busy with the Privy Council. Shoko was tied up acting as Phoebe's proxy in the Fire Kingdom.

Taking a page from Cherry's own book, Bonnie reminded her, "everybody's involved. We've got nobody on the bench..." Finn had blessed them with six fabulous children, but they couldn't be everywhere at once. And they had lives to lead too. Fionna would soon be much too pregnant to go running around like this. Cherry muttered something under her breath.

"I wish he was home too," Bonnie wistfully murmured. "I wish he'd talked to us before..." "I intend to put my foot in his ass," growled the gangster, as she rose once more. She was angry at him for putting them through this. "We'll flip for it," Bonnie retorted. She had her own issues with what their husband was doing. More to the point, she was very angry about what he'd tried to do on his own without discussing it with them. As Cherry approached the door, she stopped suddenly. "She hates you, Bonnie," murmured the crime boss. "She hates you enough to want to harm you personally. She's a threat to the peace as long as she draws breath." Bonnie shivered as her frenemy walked out that door. There weren't many who understood the revenge-road better than Cherry.

Moving on, Bonnie climbed to her feet and headed back inside. She had business down in her lab working on the food problem. The Candy Kingdom had been experiencing shortages _before_ the Lich's weather-magic screwed up the planet. Now things were critical, and she was perilously close to the dark days where there was rioting in the streets. If she didn't play things very carefully, Wildberry wouldn't need assassins or anything else to get rid of her.

Hundreds of miles away, in a forgotten town in the wastelands east of Wildberry's kingdom, a lone figure walked into a ramshackle bar to find the typically eclectic mix of mutants and humanoids sitting there in the dim light, nursing on drinks. Dressed head to foot in black, the tall, pale man carried a guitar case as he sidled up to the bar. "Hey," said the corpulent bartender–an ugly mutant with scales covering his orange skin. "Water," muttered the stranger. The barkeep laughed. "Water here's poison," he said. "It's worth your life to drink it straight..." "But water's what I want," retorted the newcomer. "Your funeral," said the barkeep. "Just don't die inside my place."

The stranger waited patiently as the barkeep fetched him his glass. His eyes were on the worn wooden surface of the bar, while the eyes of most of the room were on him. One particular set of eyes belonged to an elegant woman in the far corner of the bar. Small of stature with haunting eyes of emerald hue, long black hair, and pale purple skin, she seemed to see everything that transpired in that place without really seeming to pay much attention to any of it.

As he waited, the handsome man idly stroked the guitar case as one might touch a lover, suggesting that it was his prized possession. The barkeep set the glass down in front of him and asked, "you play?" "Yeah," said the stranger. "Play for myself mostly." Straightening, the barkeep said, "don't get much for entertainment in these parts. Tell you what, you can stay free if you keep the custom amused for a bit." The stranger turned his uncanny red eyes on the barkeep, suggesting that whatever enjoyment he got from playing an instrument was for his ears alone. The barkeep fetched back a pace as the tall man studied him. "Fine," he said. "One night's rest."

Rising, taking his glass and the guitar case, the stranger went to the rough and rickety stage that stood at the head of the room. Settling himself there on a stool, he took a sip of the wager as he opened the guitar case. Drawing a beautiful old six-string of ancient design, he spent a moment humming to himself, sipping the toxic water, and tuning his instrument. When he was done, he had every face there focused on his with laser sharpness.

Taking up the instrument, he strummed a haunting chord that seemed to echo through the room, hanging in the air for just a moment too long before the tall stranger began to sing:

I can hear what you're thinkin'

All your doubts and fears

And if you look in my eyes

In time you'll find the reason I'm here

And in time, all things shall pass away

In time, you may come back some day

To live once more or die once more

But in time, your time will be no more

You know your days are numbered

Count 'em one by one

Like notches in the handle of an outlaw's gun

You can outrun the devil if you try

But you can never outrun the hands of time

In time, there'll surely come a day

In time, all things shall pass away

In time, you may come back some say

To live once more or die once more

But in time, your time will be no more

I can hear what you're thinkin'

Ending on the same note he'd begun with, the tall man seemed to let his eyes linger on the beautiful woman in the corner just a moment too long before he turned, shook himself, and began putting the guitar away. Finishing his drink, he stood and tipped his hat to the petite beauty before striding for the door. The startled bartender called after him, "but you ain't finished! I though you was gonna' stay?!" When the confused barman reached the entrance, he found the street outside empty. It was as if he'd seen a ghost. Shivering in fear, the barkeep went back inside.

He found his custom, in spite of the strange disturbance, had returned to their drinks, their dinner, and their conversations. Whistling his relief, the barman went back to work behind his bar, filling orders and directing his waiters as he tried to forget about inviting a specter to play for his customers. In the corner, Suadela Galitsis sat frowning at the door, wondering. Who was he? There was a familiarity to him. Just now she didn't need the distraction. She was in an ugly situation–a place unfamiliar to her.

Raised to rule the Laurel Kingdom upon the passing of her mother, Suadela had experienced a drastic shift in fortune. She'd been kidnaped–snatched literally from within her own home. Subjected to gang rape and torture for days until she'd been all but _begging_ to die, she'd been granted the curse of undeath by the twisted creature who'd abducted her and made to serve the would-be architect of the death of the world. Spared further torture, the fallen princess had been eager to serve–to mete out pain and anguish on others in her new master's name.

She'd let herself believe in the dream. They were going to bring about the End-of-Days–the fabled end-times where the entirety of the world was brought low. The fallen princess had been eager to prove herself in the Lich's service. She'd been willing to do whatever was asked of her in furtherance of his goals. She'd lost her beloved brother in service to the cause, completing her journey into the darkness where she now dwelt.

But it had all turned to ash around her.

The cause was gone–dead as the man who'd embraced it. Worse, they had gone from being the hunters to being the hunted. There was a force out there. An uncertain _something_ was killing them. It was a twisted sort of irony for Suadela Galitsis–or the creature that had once been the proud young princess. The demon-powered warrior was killing all the undead he could lay his hands on. She'd had delusions early on. It was the raw days just after her master had fallen in the cold wastelands fighting against that fucking witch. Suadela had been out on a mission when the Lich took ship, and she'd returned too late to join the party.

She'd bided her time, reasoning that there would be plenty of opportunities for death and mayhem when the bomb exploded. Anybody who was still alive on the planet after that would be fair game–and it wasn't as though _she'd_ be inconvenienced by the blast. She had been looking forward to helping bring on the end of days, but the party had gotten spoiled. Instead of celebrating with the deaths of everybody in Wildberry Kingdom, she had gotten to feel her master be forced out of his host. Shortly thereafter she'd lost all contact with him, suggesting he'd been put back into some sort of prison.

She wasn't the oldest of the Dipped nor was she the strongest. Still Suadela had immediately taken charge and started plotting their revenge. She'd begun scheming to find out just where their master was taken. There was a rescue to mount after all and races of humanoids to make extinct. And then their foe had come among them, hunting down every creature the master had ever created. He'd been shockingly effective at it. They were dieing. Strangely enough, it was the Dipped who were becoming extinct. From a high of hundreds, they were down to tens, and Suadela's leadership was coming into question.

Truth be told, she'd been raised to be a princess. She had no idea how to _lead_ anyone. She had no capability to plan. She only had some vague idea what they needed to do, and she had her powers of persuasion–drastically limited by the fact that she was now undead. Irritatingly, the dead seemed not to have much interest in her false face. She could still charm the living, but she hardly saw that as valuable when they were at war and needed numbers. It wasn't like their enemy was going to go weak in the knees at the look of her.

"Piccolo's group never arrived," rumbled her lieutenant. Suadela frowned. That was a little disturbing on a number of different levels. Piccolo was her biggest detractor, and she wouldn't have doubted that he would turn on her and maybe go off to start his own faction. At the same time, Piccolo had been agitating to replace her as overall leader. With all that had happened the last few weeks, Suadela was on the ropes, so why would he disappear _now_. She had a suspicion that it wasn't by choice. It was quite likely that their mysterious foe had done him and his faction in. They were down to just twenty. This had them down to twenty souls and those twenty on borrowed time. Who knew when their mysterious enemy might just decide to finish the job? That might even have been him playing the guitar.

"We need to move," muttered Suadela. "We'll move the gathering. Tonight." The town had been a good hiding place. Resting on the edge of the wastelands like a cliff on the edge of the abyss, the town existed in a perpetual state of virulent anarchy. You were only safe inside your own dwelling here–and only so long as you could defend your own walls. Violent death was a frequent occurrence here in these hinterlands, and nobody bothered much with investigation. It went a long way towards helping hide her soldiers' more ugly impulses. Suadela felt those impulses every moment of her ugly existence. She wanted to kill. That was what she had been _reborn_ to do. She was meant to empty rotten little towns like this. Instead she was hiding. And now she would be fleeing. It wouldn't sit well with some of the more _active_ members of her faction, but she had no desire to be destroyed as her brother had been.

It was late in the day when the once and former Court Wizard to Princess Bubblegum cussed and bullied her way into the lockup underneath Banana-Guard headquarters to find her best friend in the world locked in a cell, looking as miserable as Emeraude had ever seen her. Streaks of mascara running down her cheeks told that she'd been crying off and on for quite a while. Rushing up to the bars, the little wood nymph reached through to her friend in a panic. Sniffing back tears, Simone answered that gesture with, "hi..."

Whirling around, Emeraude Mertens snarled, "you get her out of that fucking cell right this minute!" Glaring back, the guard retorted, "no fucking way. She's in for felony evading and fleeing the police. She stays right there." Drawing herself up, the wizard growled, "you really wanna' go there?" "I _let_ you in here," retorted the guard. "I _know_ who you are, but you aren't Court Wizard anymore, and I don't answer to you." Emeraude's fist's clenched, but suddenly an unpleasant reality check arrived in the form of her own daughter.

"What's going on here," asked Star, as she strode into the lockup? "This fucking guy has Simone locked up," growled Huntress Wizard. "What're you going to do about this?" Star reached past her mother and picked up the placard on the wall next to the cell. Scanning it, she turned to her other mother and asked, "is this true?" "I... I was upset," Simone stammered. "I... I didn't see him..." Star sighed heavily. Her mothers had been in and out of hot water the last few weeks. If it wasn't Simone's increasingly inattentive/borderline reckless driving–and resulting wrecks and traffic tickets–it was Emeraude picking fights in bars and looking for trouble. Star's lot in life had become smoothing over ruffled feathers and cleaning up the mess. And she was tired of it.

"Ok," she said, "I've had enough of your shit. Both of you. You're going to counseling. Tomorrow..." Emeraude got in her face, and Star jabbed her in the chest, saying, "you can go to counseling, momma, or you can go to jail on that assault charge. Get me? You gave me tough love when I was being a shit. Now I'm returning the favor. You're going to counseling. Get used to it." Turning to the guard, she said, "release her on her own recognizance. Tomorrow afternoon, you're to call the Candy Clinic and inquire about their presence in counseling. If they're not there, you're to put out warrants for their arrest." Without a further word, the Acting Captain of the Guard turned and strode out of there, muttering curses and shaking her head.

As soon as the cell door was open, Emeraude rushed to Simone's side. The tall woman looked thoroughly miserable and ashamed. Taking her by the arm, the wood nymph wizard steered her best friend out the door, directing withering glares at the guard the whole way. Outside, the wizard woman bundled Simone into the passenger seat of her truck and tore out of there. The minute they were out of sight of the jail, Simone turned on the water again, bawling her eyes out. Emeraude pulled over, parked the car, and hugged the grief-stricken woman.

"I'm sorry," Simone babbled over and over. Emeraude whispered soothing words and stroked her long, pale hair. When the younger woman was finally calm again, Emeraude turned and sat staring out at the world outside. She was angry. She was burn-the-house-down-and-the-town-too angry. She was angry at Simone and angry at Simon. She was angry at her kid. She was angry at Betty. She was angry at Finn. She was _really_ angry at Finn. And that was the punchline to the joke that was her life.

Finn had done all the stuff a good husband did. He'd kept the faith long past when the average joe would have turned and walked away. Her aunt had been right. She'd messed up and thrown away happiness, and in the end she'd accomplished sweet fuck-all as far as making things better for her people. _Face it, Emeraude,_ she thought, _you're angry at_ yourself _, but you can't–won't–admit it._ "Simone," she murmured. "Yeah," the younger woman whined. "We... we're goin' to counseling, babe," Emeraude sighed. "I... we need help..." It was past time they admitted it.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

The ice was some of the thickest and hardest ice on the island. They had been working at melting through it for _days_ already, and sometimes it seemed they might be at it _years_. The Lich, after all, had vested interest in keeping the headquarters and its precious machinery out of the fight. As the crews sweated and dug, even using Bonnie's heat-ray satellite, Fionna watched and fretted that they were digging up a whole new can of worms. After all, the princesses had very nearly got to blows over this stuff before.

It helped not at all that somewhere in there lay the Duke of Nuts–frozen to death along with many of his boys. A newly acquitted and freed Maudie Armbruster, Peanut Princess, still nursed her ambitions and hatred. She had bounced between shrill accusations over her husband's fate to demands that Fionna's crew drop everything to recover nutjob's corpse. Naturally that endeared her not at all to Fionna and Fionna's crew. They were risking their lives on things that were far more important with freeing the ocean current and its warm waters taking precedence over the body of a failed general.

As Patrick watched in admiration and approval, his lady walked the site, dispensing encouragement and gratitude in equal measures. She had encouraging words for everybody there–from Grid-Face people to bananas to Froyo-guards. The troops needed the boost. Everyone was tired and missing home. This was the third trip to the frozen island of the Fluffy People for some of them. In spite of her own exhaustion, Fionna was their tireless promoter. She'd gone to bat against the idiotic machinations of the princesses again and again to prevent implementation of their more boldly stupid plans.

"She's doing a very good job," declared a familiar voice in approving tones. Patrick turned to find their most tireless _worker_ watching with approval. The android woman worked the longest hours of any of them, which stood to reason. She/it was a machine. "Yeah," muttered Patrick, "but I wish she was getting more rest." Fionna was heading into her sixth month of being preggers, and that was another major drain on her body when the island was taking all the strength they had just to survive each day. Coming up alongside him, the android girl gave him her total attention. Before he had really finished articulating those unhappy thoughts, she was peppering him with questions in a very concerned tone of voice.

The array of questions was dizzying in its breath and worrisome in all the subtle little complexities that it conveyed. It was like a verbal physical, and it left his head spinning. With a heavy sigh, Patrick was forced to concede that, physically, his lady was doing about as well as you could expect. The baby was in good shape, and they hadn't seen any of the dangerous complications that pregnant women developed. He felt sort of foolish making the admission after suggesting that Fionna needed more rest.

Stroking his face with the tip of one mechanical finger, the android told him, "Patrick, you're a husband and a father. You're _supposed_ to feel like that. I'd worry about you if you weren't." Giving him an odd grin, she said, "why do you suppose I'm here and not Bonnie? Hmm?" He would have chalked it up to her being ordered to come out here, but he didn't say that. Smiling, she said, "I promised her father I would look after Bonnie–at least until Roseline's born. After..." It was a shocking revelation that left him staring after the android girl as she walked away.

"What's the idea, Patrick," muttered Fionna, as she strolled up to where her hubby of just a few months was staring at the sex-toy's ass. Patrick filled her in on what had got said. That quickly had Fionna staring at the machine/woman. "Boy was that weird," muttered Fionna. "Tell me about it," muttered Patrick. Neither of them had been able to get used to 'Sarah' as the android woman preferred to be called. Bonnie had been weird enough as it was with her flighty ways and odd habits of wanting to poke, prod, and experiment on everything in sight–people included. Android Bonnie was even more so. Android Bonnie had all of the original's mannerisms and tics. At the same time, she was like a completely different person.

For one, she was actually nice. She was as nice as Bonnie was irritating and obnoxious. She didn't treat everyone like they were stupid, and she never seemed to be scheming at something. Most days, she could be found working on the sunray machine from the early hours of the morning until well after everyone else had gone to bed. When she wasn't at that, she was engaged in an almost-futile effort to sustain the machines that kept them warm. And when she wasn't at that, she was almost personally looking after Fionna's well-being. Patrick knew some of that was on the down-low as Fionna had threatened to dice her a couple of times when she got too nosey. Honestly, there were moments Patrick actually _liked_ 'Sarah'.

At the same time, there were moments where he was definitely creeped out. Things she said suggested that she had an _attachment_ to Fionna's dad. Patrick kept that news to himself. Honestly, he was a lot weirded out by the fact that his mom and Fionna's dad were an item. He'd long since gotten himself over the whole 'uncle and niece' thing with Fi. They were only related by the strange happenstance of his dad 'wishing' Fionna's mom to life. The whole thing with her dad and his mom becoming an item threatened to throw the apple-cart off the side of the cliff, and when you added in the knowledge that Finn Mertens was carrying on with half the princesses on the Privy Council, that just made things worse. His mom was one of ten! If Finn really was bangin' 'Sarah', she was one of _eleven_?!

As they watched, the android girl squatted down over a spot on the icy dome covering the old headquarters. She spent a while staring at the ice, and Patrick knew she was using the odd tech embedded all over her body to 'look' figuratively at the ice. She'd professed that Princess Bubblegum had quite literally _packed_ her body with sensory equipment to the point that she could taste things with her toes and fingertips if she needed to. Abruptly she glanced up and motioned for the pair to join her. "Whatcha' got," asked Fi as they came up on either side of the sex-droid? "This is the spot," said Sarah. "This is where the ice is thinnest. I think if we focus the heat ray here, we can get down into the headquarters today. That might let you get back to the mainland, sweetie..." Fionna flushed. The 'droid-girl was awful concerned about that.

Rising, Sarah said, "not rushing you away, sweetie, but you're pregnant, and everybody on this ice is starving, me included." And it was pretty bad news when the _machine_ was starving. Glancing away, Fionna said, "I'll think about it. Meantime, lay out where we need to put the beam." Without a further word, she walked away, her posture suggesting she was greatly troubled. "I'm sorry," sighed Sarah. Blushing himself, Patrick sighed, "you care. We get it. I... This isn't easy for her." It had been hard dealing with women she'd grown up around–grown up being _irritated_ by. With the Lich trying to kill the planet, her mothers believed dead, and her dad rushing around trying to hold up the whole show with his back, Fionna had found herself _leaning_ on women she had once despised. "She feels like a traitor, Patrick," sighed Sarah. "I... understand..."

"No," Patrick retorted. "You don't. She wants to be home, looking after her parents. She feels responsible for..." "...for causing Penny to free the Lich and attack her parents," interrupted Sarah. "She leaned on women who were her mothers' rivals and enemies–one of whom's face I happen to wear. I don't make the mistake of pretending I even know what it feels like, Patrick Petrikov. I'd appreciate your not treating me like a twit. I promised Finn I'd look after all his family while he's away. I'm doing the best I can while respecting Fi's space and the awful things she's been through."

Patrick opened his mouth to cuss her and shut it again when he saw her wipe tears from her eyes. "I look after Bonnie and Rosie," said the android-girl. "I look after Cherry and Van and Birch. I even try to keep up with Bill when I can. Right now, you have a part to play too, Patrick. You're her husband. It's your _job_ to push her towards taking better care of herself. I'm... on the outside." Without a further word, she turned to go, leaving Patrick feeling two inches tall. As she headed down the slope towards the shack where the heat ray controls were set up, a corner of his mind wondered. Who was taking care of _her_? Shaking his head and muttering curses, the young man turned in the direction his wife went.

Back in the Candy Kingdom, Emeraude the Huntress Wizard sat down in the eerie silence of her now-empty home, wondering how things had gone so terribly wrong. She'd never felt the loneliness so keenly as when she woke up the first time here with no Finn and no kids. Hell, even Beemo was gone. After years of finding him doing insane things to their stuff–like the time he made a parachute out of one of her camisoles–Emeraude didn't even have that distraction anymore. She still had Simone. Unfortunately that was proving to be more of a problem than a help when they were both trying to pick each other up. Two wrecks propping each other up. It was the height of the absurd.

Just now Simone was in individual counseling leaving the wood-nymph alone with her thoughts. Unfortunately those thoughts weren't leading anywhere good. Alone in that house with a half-hundred ways to destroy herself, the former mercenary/mafia-hitter found herself thinking dangerous thoughts. She sat a long ten minutes staring at the knife on the table until the knock at her door startled her. Now, as that knocking continued, instinct took over. Almost reflexively, the hostile and wary wizard rose, took up that knife, and slowly descended the stairs.

Emeraude was a little startled when she opened the door to find one of her former subordinates there. "Voletta," murmured the wizard-woman. "Mother," replied the Law-Keeper. Emeraude goggled at her. "W-what does that mean," she stammered? With a shrug, the new Law-Keeper told her, "I'm sent to bring you home, Mother. You are the last remaining Elder from your predecessor's council. By our laws, you are now Matriarch."

Knife dropping from nerveless fingers, the wizard very nearly sat down right there. Bending down, Voletta Dubois retrieved the knife and asked, "may I come in, Mother?" Face a study in shock, Emeraude stood aside as the younger woman came in. Shutting the door behind her, the wizard woman followed her _guest_ up the stairs. At the top of the stairs, she found Voletta looking around. Softly the younger woman remarked, "at least partially alive..." Emeraude flushed. The tree had seen better times centuries back. It clung stubbornly to life in spite of all the indignities it had suffered in the intervening years.

Squaring up, the mercenary asked, "what's this about?" Turning from her studious examination, Voletta Dubois shrugged and said, "it is as I said. I'm sent to retrieve you..." Frowning, Emeraude replied, "I thought my mother was in charge..." "She and your cousin Madolen were arrested weeks ago," Voletta replied. Marjolaine's undead muscle had suddenly disappeared one night. She'd done her best to hide that fact, relying on the evil reputation she'd built, but with more and more people challenging her authority, it was a hopeless cause. Someone was bound to guess or discover that the undead had abandoned her.

That news saw the older wizard frown down at the table in strangely familiar angst. "Momma never knew when to leave a con," sighed Emeraude. She had always stayed too long at the fair. Blushing, Voletta explained, "I tried to hold them for trial, but a crowd broke into the jail and tore them to pieces..." Emeraude's knees buckled, and she sat down in a rush. "I'm sorry, Mother," said the Law Keeper. "I did my best..." Emeraude replied, "I... It's only the surprise, Voletta. We were never friends my mother and I..." The younger woman glanced away. It was a common complaint for their kind. Her mother had sold her into a brothel when she was twelve.

Moving on, Emeraude said, "I just finished lunch. Here, let me get you something." The younger woman protested profusely, but her host was already halfway to the fridge. In moments, she had food laid out on the kitchen table. Voletta couldn't help the unpleasant rumbling of her stomach. The last year had been ugly in the Grey Forest. Marjolaine Baudin had been no Matriarch. She'd lived only for herself, and many of their kind had been lost–starved to death or sold into slavery or just murdered on the streets by johns who no longer feared the law, such as it was in the forest. With a veritable feast laid out before her, the young woman did the only sane thing. She ate. She ate until she felt as though she'd burst.

When she was done, she found the Matriarch watching her with the same hard eyes that had watched her through the harsh training she'd gotten in battle-skills. "Tell me," murmured Emeraude. She could see the signs in her former subordinate's eyes–the ugly _haunted_ look that told of how bad things had been under her mother's rule. Voletta glanced away, and the wizard woman said, "she's dead, Voletta. Even if... even if I gave a tinker's damn for her, it doesn't matter. She got what she deserved. So tell me... Tell me how things are..."

Meanwhile, in the Wildberry Kingdom, a most unlikely personage walked into the presence of the ruler of the Berry folk, wearing a scowl fit to curdle milk. Tall and thin, with sinuous limbs that came knotted with fibrous muscle like the imposing Berry Guards that flanked her, with dark purple skin that seemed to fade to black in the light, and leafy green hair, the female was unlike most every Berry Person in the kingdom. Her presence tended to attract the eyes of most males she came across–at least until they caught sight of the ugly sneer on her face.

Almost-pretty is what more than one dead man had called Ms. Sugarlump Plumly. Two had gotten knifed right there in her uncle's club for having the gall to insult the owner's niece. She'd done the knifing herself, stabbing one fellow twenty-two times before she was dragged away from the flopping, flailing corpse. She'd bitten the nose off of a third man and swallowed it before her uncle quit allowing her to dance there. She was a nasty piece of work with few allies and fewer friends.

The pair of guards brought her into the room, and marched her to within a scant twenty feet of the ruler of the Wildberry Kingdom. It would have been close enough for her to rush up, knife the nasty little cunt a couple-dozen times, and slit her throat for good measure if you didn't count the wall of guards between them. Princess-bitch wasn't taking any chances. "You bellowed," growled the former stripper. "Yes, Ms. Plumly," said Wildberry. "I expected a report from you. I haven't received one. I imagine there was some oversight." The nasty plum glared at her. She didn't like this at all. Leaning forward, Wildberry said, "I spared your life. I even restored to you your late father's position as head of the underworld in my kingdom. Now what have you done for me lately."

Glancing away, the daughter of James Plumly muttered something under her breath. "What was that," asked Wildberry? "Gathering my thoughts," retorted the sour plum. Hands clenching and unclenching, the evil creature said, "they're going around to all the gangs... That cunt is trying to assert herself." "Yes," agreed Wildberry. "I had several of her agents killed at the border. What I don't know is how far she's gotten..." Flushing, Sugarlump replied, "I don't have a lot of resources. I know all of her dudes here. I can move on the ones who're still alive any time I feel like it." "What about the other kingdoms," said Wildberry? "I especially need to know what's going on in the Candy Kingdom."

It was her obsession. It was the thing Sugarlump had been counting on to keep her head on her shoulders until she could do this bitch dirty. "Lot of guys ain't so happy with her power-trip," said the gangster. "And they're real unhappy with how cozy she is with the princesses." The late Mafia Princess had been more of an invisible menace than anything. Most of the rulers knew of her existence, but few had ever dealt with her and fewer still had actually met her. "How well are they placed," asked the ruler of the Wildberry Kingdom? "Not that well placed," muttered Sugarlump. "You want to whack the candy-girl, you're gonna' need more'n a few of my dudes..."

Shaking her head, Wildberry said, "then you are to work on expanding your powerbase and reach. I expect you to have at least two-hundred gangsters available in the Candy Kingdom to do my bidding within the month. I also want spies working in the other kingdoms. I need to know what's going on in Froyo Kingdom and Breakfast Kingdom especially. I need eyes on the ground." Sugarlump grimaced, showing the sharp, jaggedy teeth most of the folk of Wildberry Kingdom had. In reasonable tones, the princess reminded her, "I'm sparing you the death penalty in exchange for your cooperation..." "You promised to give me Finn the Human and Cherry Cream Soda," retorted Sugarlump. Tone showing her amusement, Wildberry said, "you'll have them when I have what I want. Not before. Now off with you. Bring me the information I asked for. You know the consequences if you fail..."

As Sugarlump headed out to do her dark business, Wildberry's hated enemies were meeting for business of their own. They had begun to make a bit of a habit out of breaking bread together. Lollipop had suggested it as a way for the Candy Monarch and de facto leader of Ooo to bond with her unofficial cabinet. Munching on the delicious Breakfast Pudding that her daughter-in-law made, Bonnibel Bubblegum listened patiently to her son's report on the state of affairs in the south. That area of Ooo was some of the wildest, with vast stretches of empty, abandoned coastline between kingdoms. It also posed the greatest potential to save them from looming famine among other problems.

Unfortunately there were a lot of challenges too. "Things are getting worse with Flint, mother," sighed Boniface Bubblegum. Eyes narrowing, the proud princess demanded, "what do you mean?" Her patience had been getting thinner, her temper hotter, and her tongue sharper these last few months. Flushing, Bon glanced away. His life hadn't exactly been easy either. He'd been away from home a lot, which was straining his marriage. His little boy was growing up without him. He was again struck by how well his father had managed. He'd raised six kids while simultaneously protecting a far-flung kingdom from the worst the world could throw at it.

Of course, Finn had more or less sacrificed Finn for his kids and their mothers. That was something Bon was having trouble with. As much as he was Finn's son, he was Bonnibel's heir, and he came with baggage. There were moments when he wanted nothing more than to be down in the lab, immersed in some scientific endeavor trying to figure out what made the universe tick. There were moments when his wife bored him and moments where he honestly got tired of little Jean. Truth be told, he admired the man that Finn was, and he feared he just didn't have that in him.

"There are rumblings," Bon said, "that not all the elementals being hosted amongst the Kingdoms of Ooo are civilians, mother. Flint's... Flint's been agitating for armed guards and soldiers, and I'm afraid he may be trying to slip some in amongst the settlers in spite of what he promised his sister." Bonnie put on a frightsome scowl and demanded, "does Shoko know about this?" Bon met his mother's baleful stare with a steady gaze and said, "he's doing this behind her back, mother. His M.O. seems to be a surprise letter from home that sends some of the settlers back. When replacements arrive..." "It's not the same people," muttered Bonnie. That was going to be a big, big problem. She'd fought and argued with her fellows for the right of Phoebe's people to relocate. Now Flint was betraying them.

Ragnhild, as usual, was first to panic. She'd accepted over a thousand elementals in her kingdom as a show of good will. They were occupying an old foundry, using the vats and tanks and other machinery as housing. She was now between a rock and a hard place. "W-we've got to do something," she howled! "Calm yourself," said Cherry. "We don't even know if this is true. Let's do some fact-finding first before we lose our minds over rumor..." The diminutive crime boss was the voice of reason on the Privy Council, shutting down terror before it ever got too far. Bonnie wasn't ashamed to admit that she had come to rely on that. It was dangerous, when they had been at each other's throats not very long ago, and she knew it. At the same time, they were uneasy _partners_ –sister-wives of Finn Mertens. That counted for something.

Turning to Bonnie, Cherry said, "I'll look into this." Frowning, Hurletta babbled, "th-there're thieves amongst the fire elementals?" With a shrug, the crime boss replied, "there are thieves _everywhere_ , Your Highness." Slime Princess blanched at that shocking news, but Bonnie knew Hurletta was hopelessly naïve about many things. She and Breakfast were two peas in a pod, far more interested in partying than in doing anything constructive or useful. "Very well," said Bonnie. "I'll need to go personally," said Cherry. Bonnie laughed, "you just want to get out of town." The crime boss blushed to her hair, telling everyone there how true that was. They had all been cooped up here far too much since the Lich's fall and imprisonment. "Very well," said Bonnie. "Go today if you like."

Turning back to her son, Bonnie asked, "is there anything else?" "No, mother," he sighed. Bonnie sent him on his way. Her son was restless, without the patience she'd learned over the years, and, honestly, she pitied him. He had a lot of his father in him, and that wasn't making his life any easier. Bowing to the princesses, the tall fellow got on his way, heading out to the next in his endless string of meetings.

Back inside, the princesses were discussing what to do about the situation with the elementals. Hot Dog Princess and Slime Princess both wanted to shut the whole business down immediately. They would have cut off Phoebe's people from emigrating until they could figure out just what Flint was up to. Calm again, Ragnhild talked them down from that. There were other things they could do that wouldn't upset the apple cart. The Council could delay their travel papers. The Council's members could hinder and slow down their travel. They could break up some of the larger groups to make it harder for Flint to build a critical mass. Bonnie, listening to her colleague's rather succinct and thorough summation, decided that they would pursue all of those things simultaneously, subjecting their wayward elementals to the entire array of Ooo's bureaucracy. By the time Flint figured out that the whole thing was part of a plan, it would be too late. Either they would have figured out what he was up to and cleared the migration, or they would have the elementals in position to be flattened and shipped back home en-masse.

Stomach full and mentally satisfied with the plans they'd made, most of the council headed out. Only Cherry remained, at Bonnie's behest. The former attorney had begun to get used to these private sessions. There was, after all, very little she could have said to avoid them. In a very strange manner, they were now as intimate as lovers. Bonnie began without preamble, saying, "I wanted to tell you that Wolf will be here next week. I want you back by then."

Cherry frowned at her. Mostly she'd broken the candy monarch of the habit of trying to boss her around. Today, the expression of worry on Bonnibel's face had her instantly alert. "I had my grandson checked," said Bonnie. "He has the same parasitic time-distortion energy field that Fionna had..." It took a moment. "Jean has the curse," Cherry blurted? "That's not all," sighed the princess. "Joshua had it too. Drew was the one who brought it to my attention..." After the harrowing fight to save Fionna's life and the awful news that the curse on Finn would destroy two generations of his descendants, Drew had played a bit of a hunch and gotten her baby checked. Bonnie had been working on a way to diagnose the presence of the curse, but she was out of her depth and frankly too damned busy. "It's dormant at the moment, but both my kids have it," said Bonnie. Neither of her kids was a fighter, so they hadn't faced the trigger.

Cherry shot to her feet, staring in the direction Bon had gone. "It's triggered," said Bonnie, "by emotional distress–fear for those you love. When Penny's thugs went after them in the cave, Fionna was triggered. It was only Phoebe's arrival that saved Bon from the same fate..." Cherry's lovely face snapped back to hers. She was awfully calm about this. Of course Cherry knew personally just how much panic that air of calm could hide. "Wolf's going to remove it from my family and from Joshua," said Bonnie. "While he's here, the rest of us should get checked because according to Drew it can harm the mother as well..." Cherry nodded. As she turned to go, Bonnie said, "the Decorpsinator Serum and cloning formula can't help you with this, Cherry. Get checked for Birch's sake, ok?" "I'll be back in a few days," said Cherry. "Promise..." Looking more than a little disturbed–she'd feared Bonnie's reaction should she figure out the truth about Cherry's possession of the formulas–the little woman headed out. Bonnie summoned Peppermint Butler to clean up. She had business of her own to get back to.

Late that same day, Fionna the Human Girl found herself standing beside her android stepmother as the mechanical hottie deftly boiled away the ice covering the former headquarters. All present wore special glasses to protect their eyes from the blinding beam as it sliced down through the ice and into the building itself. Sarah was almost paranoid about her preparations. She had been up atop the mound of snow and ice that had housed Bonnie's lab and equipment prior to her downfall measuring not twice but five times. Now, as Fionna watched, Sarah used just enough heat to melt down into the space that had housed the Control Pedestal for the Candy Monarch's secret army.

Flicking the trigger, the android girl caused the orbiting satellite to furl its solar wings, reducing power from an eye-watering level to nearly nothing and then to zero in a few eye-blinks. As Fionna shed her protective glasses, the sex-droid went through the procedures to shut the machine down for the day, putting it in a dormant state. She was far more careful than Bonnie had ever been. Only when she was certain the machine was shut down did the tall woman allow them to head back up the slope to the hole she'd just drilled.

Pedersen and his men led the way, with guns and crossbows at the ready. They had been dealing with swarms of ice-mephits recently. The Lich had conjured the ice-demons as a means of protecting his gains, and the creatures were wreaking havoc long after his departure for the Night-O-Sphere. Sword in hand, Fionna followed her subordinates up the hill with Sarah and Patrick at her side. As they went up the slope, they paid out ropes and installed metal stanchions to protect them from the razor-sharp bite of the ice they trod on. The iron-hard, glacial ice the Lich had conjured had become notorious for cutting ropes that were believed secure. Nothing got left to chance now.

Cresting the top of the ice-mound, Sarah immediately stopped and began employing her sensors. Patrick grimaced as she slowly walked ahead. She'd been insistent on that. She had used judicious amounts of power from the satellite to burn through the ice, but she was insistent on testing the remaining ice herself. Patrick was again struck by his earlier thought. Who looked after Sarah while she was busy protecting everybody under the sun? He wasn't sure he wanted to face Finn if something happened to the android woman. "Ok," said Sarah, as she finally stepped forward.

Dropping to one knee by the edge of the hole, she peered down into the opening. "Just short of fifty feet," she sighed. "twenty feet higher than the roof of the building." Fionna grimaced. He'd been toying with them–being a dick–when he froze the building. "Can you see the machine," she asked? "Is it ok?" "I can see it," Sarah sighed. "Can't tell if it's ok or not. I'll have to go down..." " _We_ have to go down," retorted Fionna. The android turned a frown on her. Folding her arms under her breasts, Fionna said, "just because you're the only one not preggers doesn't mean that you should be throwing yourself in front of every bullet and arrow." Sarah blushed to her hair, but Patrick sighed his relief. That needed to get said.

Fionna turned to her troops and started giving orders. She was no less careful than the android girl had been. She was a mom now. Just like her mom and dad had started to be a little more careful about life, she was determined to do the same. The ropes they'd carefully laid down along the slope of the hill got checked and checked again. Stanchions got installed along the sharp edge of the hole, while the climbers got outfitted with climbing harness and safety gear. "Remember," said Fionna, "we have to make it down twenty feet. I can build us a stairway after that."

Sarah grimaced in unhappiness. She didn't like Fionna using those powers–not while she was PG anyway. At the same time, Fionna was, quite clearly, in charge here. "Ok," said the android. "I'll go first." Without a further word, she swung out over the hole and kicked off. Fionna muttered curses. After her earlier conversation with Patrick–and the shocking revelation about the real nature of Sarah's relationship to her father–Fionna was mortified. Sarah had been caught in a landslide earlier in the week because Fionna had recklessly walked into danger. They'd literally taken their time digging her out, reasoning that she was a machine. She couldn't freeze to death. The android had emerged somewhat the worse for wear, sporting a number of scrapes and scratches on her artificial skin and ending up with a broken finger for her trouble.

Characteristically, Sarah joked about it, but Fionna was horrified and ashamed about it now. It was another of Bonnie's bad habits. She created _things_ –like the Lemongrabs–and just left them to fend for themselves. As the blonde bunny was working her way down through that chain of ugly thoughts, Sarah was coming up on the jagged roof of the headquarters. Hanging there in midair, she scanned the scene and sniffed the air. Just as she'd guessed, the Lich had likely liquefied the air down here. There was a fairly good chance the control pedestal was ruined.

"Comin' down," Fionna shouted! Momentarily she came sliding into view traveling at a frightening speed. The sight of that pegged the meter on the android's alarm algorithm, and she very nearly lost her own rope reaching for Fionna's. Catching herself at the last moment, Fionna jerked to a stop alongside the android girl. As Sarah glared at her, Fionna giggled. "Cool," burbled the bad bunny. Out of the blue, Fionna asked, "do you have a heart?" "Yeah," muttered the Android, as she tied herself off. "Right now it's pounding. Thanks." "Wow," burbled the blonde girl. "What other stuff you got? I mean, like obviously one of _those_ , but..." "Can we stay focused," interrupted Sarah? "Oh," burbled Fi. "Yeah. Stairs." Reaching out to the artificial stone that comprised the headquarters walls, Fionna caused pillars of stone to erupt, forming a roughly spiraling staircase leading down to the bottom floor.

Sarah led the way down as the small staff on the island descended into the depths. Picking their way along, the gathering followed Fionna's spiral stairs all the way to the bottom floor. At the bottom of the stairs, the android stepped off into a scene of utter chaos. The room beside the stairs was filled with corpses. They were all Nut-People, and they lay exactly as they had fallen. Some faces showed surprise. The Duke was one such. Others showed fear and anger. Fionna felt sad looking at them. She had done all she could to save them, but this idiot hadn't been interested in listening. Sadly, he'd taken a lot of lives with him.

Sarah's eyes were on the machine that was their reason for coming here. Stepping over the Duke's corpse, the android girl bent and began checking it over. Shaking off her unease, Fionna joined her. "Anything," she asked? "I can't say for certain," Sarah replied. "It's physically in good shape, but I think we'll need to slowly thaw it. If we heat it up too quickly, we're liable to break something..." Nodding, Fionna suggested, "we can chip it out... You probably have blood too, huh? Since you blush so much..." Sarah retorted, "I have a tongue too..." And she demonstrated by giving the impertinent young woman raspberry. That made Fionna laugh.

As they moved towards the power source, Fionna asked, "how is it you're not cunty like Bonnie...?" It was a common question. Everyone who knew who she really was asked the same thing. It was part of the reason for her hangups about her identity. Everybody else looked at her as being _Bonnie_ , after all. "Different experiences, Fi," Sarah replied. "It's kind of like your mom and grampa. I have eight-hundred years of her memories, but I don't have the emotion that comes with those moments..." Fionna's face became thoughtful. "So you didn't get jerked around by old boyfriends or something," she murmured. Strangely enough, she got it. As she looked over the power connections, the android girl opined, "you should cut her a _little_ slack, Fi..."

The pretty blonde frowned at her, and Sarah knew exactly what was on her mind, because she felt it too. "I'm not exactly a fan of hers either, Fi," said the robo-babe. Fi's frown got transformed into a look of utter bafflement as the sex-machine pointed out, "I spent most of my life in pieces in the back of a closet being turned on and off periodically when she would get bored and want to tinker around. When she finally decided to put me together, it was to fob off her stalker on me..." Fionna gave her a look of utter horror. Holding up her hand and flexing the fingers, Sarah remarked, "she didn't even take the time to finish me. I'm... half-finished. Hell, she didn't even give me a name. It took your dad to do that."

Fionna felt even more ashamed than before, which wasn't really the point. "Anyways," Sarah explained, "she doesn't mean to be a cunt, Fi. She's not _trying_ to hurt people. It's... the age difference. Bonnie's lived long enough that she sees things very differently than we do. Things we see as world-shaking barely blip the priority-meter for her because she's usually got plenty of time to fix them before they start to affect her life. So unless the Candy Castle's burning down..." "...it doesn't matter," finished a frowning Fionna.

Straightening, Sarah said, "your father's been very good for her, Fi. He's grounding her–pulling her back into the world _we_ live in..." Smiling in fond memory, Sarah added, "he's been good for me too..." She had a Name of her own now. Seeing the way just thinking about Finn the Human put Sarah in a goofy mood had Fionna making funny faces at her back. It seemed even the robot-girl got all stupid in the head over her dad. Done checking the power feeds, Sarah moved on. The space was safe but not healthy, and she insisted on kicking Fionna out and bringing in Lina and her Grid-Face people to undertake the job of digging out the Control Pedestal.

The work of digging the heavy machinery occupied much of the day, with Sarah going in and out of that icy hole as Fionna watched. Watching the android at work, she was eaten up with curiosity. She'd come to accept that she now kind of had a whole pile of stepmoms. There really wasn't a good way to put that genie back in the bottle. What would it be like to have robot-girl as 'mom'? She'd kind of experienced the whole range over the years. Visiting Phoebe, being babysat by Lollipop, and being annoyed by Bonnie, Marceline, and Nadia. But, after getting over the creepy of talking at Bonnie's face and getting wildly different answers back, she kinda' liked Sarah.

As the sun set, machinery was brought in, and the Grid-People began hoisting equipment out of the frozen tomb below. Sitting beside his lady, watching her as she watched the world, Patrick's mind was already on tomorrow. Bonnie intended to evacuate the island when the war-machines were running again. She would leave the job of thawing the remaining ice to them. Patrick was now thinking of getting Fi home. "Hon," he called? "Yeah," asked Fi? "I been thinking," said he. "When Sarah gets the Control Dingus working, we won't really need to be here... Why don't we get home...?"

Fionna frowned in unhappiness as he knew she would. She was her father's daughter. After her father's coldly calculated attempt to take out the Lich by suiciding himself, Fionna's perspective on life had changed subtly. Now, more than ever, she saw other people's lives as more important than her own. The frown only lasted a few minutes, though. She was very much responsible for a second life right now, and Mona was far more vulnerable to the cold and the awful conditions here than Fionna was. "Ok," she agreed. "We'll go as soon as Sarah's got it working." Leaning in, Patrick kissed her beautiful face.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

The volcano was big but it was relatively cold. That was a bit of a problem. Randy found himself shivering a little as he trailed Shoko around the interior of the crater. The atmosphere was good with plenty of the sulfur and other scents of home. Unfortunately, the volcano seemed as if it had been asleep far too long to make a good candidate. That was going to set Flint's back up. Shoko had picked this spot as a compromise. Situated on an island off the coast of Purple Kingdom, this volcano was nowhere near inhabited lands, and looked, on paper, to be the perfect site for a colony of Fire Elementals.

They would have the place free and clear with no influence from the locals, and that would have made it possible to mollify both sides of the argument. The head of the army wasn't satisfied with the approach they were taking towards housing displaced elementals. In his mind, they really ought to be preparing for war on anyone who refused to allow free passage. A waterbag had started this by freeing the Lich. Let the waterbags make amends. There were many volcanoes scattered across Ooo. In Flint's mind, their neighbors should cede the lands around those peaks to their kind and get out of their way.

Shoko had been at constant loggerheads with Flint since her appointment as the Flame King's proxy. They had tousled first over the need for the evacuation, then over the extent of it. Now they fought over how it was to be carried out. Flint was the voice of extremism. He felt that the mountain near Purple Kingdom's capitol was perfect and should simply be handed over. Purple Princess had countered that any elementals found living there would have to swear allegiance to Purple Kingdom. Indeed all the rulers of the various civilized kingdoms had placed those same conditions on settling the refugees.

It was a simple condition. They were–or would be–living in the lands of their neighbors, even if it was only temporary. They would have to obey the laws and rules there. To Randy, it only made sense. Flint and those like him felt it was an insult added on top of an injury, and they were implacable in their desire to force their neighbors to accept armed camps on their very doorsteps. It helped not at all that Phoebe was confined in the capitol of the Candy Kingdom, managing her illegitimate son, who was not healthy enough to live among their people. Flint was not a fan or friend of Finn the Human, and he was very unhappy to see his sister give birth to Finn's child out of wedlock. Nor was the commander of the army shy about pointing out his sister's failings. Phoebe was a capable ruler, but the longer she was absent, the more Flint's influence grew–a very dangerous thing in Randy's mind.

Randy's own relationship with Shoko was another sore point with his superior. Flint wasn't keen on waterbags at all. He'd never forgotten the ugly dinner incident where Finn and his brother had acted like clowns and insulted the Royal Family. He'd been delighted when a jilted Phoebe had returned home. Now, he had a disgusting half-breed nephew, and his sister was closer to her paramour than ever. And, in his view, the disease was spreading. Randy did his best to ignore the blowhard and focus on what was good in his life–and life with Shoko had been very good. More to the point, Shoko was doing all she could to fit in. She'd pledged to live among his people, best she could, no matter the hardship. She had come to represent them to the hostile outside world which feared them.

And there was more.

Shoko's world-shaking secret project threatened to bring them grief from every corner of Ooo, but it made Randy almost-giddy with his love of his lady. Shoko's plan was to become one of them. She'd been working on the scheme almost since the first day. He'd had no idea in the early going, but even back in the old Observatory in the Candy Kingdom, he would find her hard at work on some strange formula. She wouldn't discuss it with him at the time, only promising that she would tell him when she was ready. Later, when she had moved into his family's home in the Fire Kingdom, she'd become more open about what she was planning. Down in the basement, she was building a wonderful apparatus–one which she hoped to use to execute her mad plan.

Randy sank every coin he got into the effort, and he was constantly taking leave of absence from the army to pursue anything she needed for the goal. His parents were a little afraid of what they were doing, but they pretended that everything was alright and put on brave faces for the neighbors and family friends. Flint, characteristically, looked down on Shoko and thought Randy was a fool for falling in love with a waterbag. Nothing either said could change his mind, and Flint was starting to suggest that maybe Randy needed to exile himself. If he wanted to live with his waterbag, then he should live outside the Fire Kingdom.

Walking up beside his lady, Randy took the device from her hands and said, "enough, darling. You've been at it all day. Rest." She was very tired. When she wasn't in Court, wrangling the unhappy elementals and trying to decide who would lead the various colonies, she was out in the wide world, searching for molten volcanoes and volcanic rifts that her adopted people could live in. And when she wasn't at that, she was in that basement, working on her mad little plan to be his wife. Shoko looked up at him uncertainly. The dark circles around her eyes were back, suggesting she was working much too hard. "Did you drink your medicine today," he asked? Shoko flushed. She'd forgotten to have the prescription refilled. Fortunately, he'd remembered. Reaching in a pocket, he drew out the flask and dangled it before her nose, causing her blush to deepen.

The pair went up to the rim of the crater. Sitting there above the volcano, Randy drew a few drops of the precious medicine, mixing them in with a little melted snow. Shoko took the foul-tasting draught at one go, making 'nasty-face' as she did so. He'd teased her once, saying he wasn't sure if the medicine was bad or if she was having an orgasm. She'd retaliated by punching him. Of course the teasing covered very real concern. The mysterious pain from her missing arm became unbearable if she missed her daily dose. Just now the grateful princess lay her head on his shoulder.

Drugs had become a sad fact of their lives. She took them to manage the pain from her arm–the very one he'd cut off–which was an endless source of angst for him. Randy took them–the very same ones Phoebe took–to give them a chance at a normal relationship. He'd done it to surprise her by taking her on a date. They'd ended up having sex for the first time six months ago, with Shoko sneaking into his room that same night at the risk of being burned. They'd never looked back.

"Flint's going to pitch a fit," sighed Shoko. There were three-hundred families waiting on the outcome of this survey, all refugees from the northern border. "We can dig, Shoko," said Randy. "It'll be hard going, but there's heat here. I felt it." Turning to face her, he said, "we have Purple Princess's permission to relocate. We'll stash the families there for a little while. The able-bodied males can come here to this mountain and unearth the magma..." Shoko nodded. She still had one more survey to conduct. The folk of Laurel Kingdom had reported a massive volcanic island to the south and east of their kingdom. Constantly burning and churning, it sounded like a haven for the folk of the Fire Kingdom. If the rumors were true, it might comfortably house thousands of fire-folk and reduce the population of the displaced almost to nothing.

Taking his beloved's hand, Randy told her, "someday, my darling, when we're old and faded... people will speak of the beautiful Princess Golden-Hair, who came to live among us and who gave her all to save our race when we were in danger." Her father, in spite of the ugly things Flint said about him, was a great man. Randy saw echoes of Finn the Human in Shoko's every action, and he could clearly see how Phoebe had fallen so completely under Finn's spell. He also saw how it was that his father-in-law was so battered and even maimed, and he feared for his precious princess. Willful like her dad, Shoko would never stop giving the needy all she had. He'd have to manage that so that she didn't burn herself out in the process. "C'mon," said he. "Let's get back to camp and get some food. I'm starving..." "Ok," she said, as she gathered herself to her feet. "It's a wonder you're not fat." Randy chuckled. He really wasn't that hungry, but saying he was always lit a fire under her butt.

Hundreds of miles to the north, something wicked stirred in a forgotten castle. The witch had been moaning off and on these last few days. That in itself was unusual. The witch had lain in the same comatose state for well over twenty years. Only rarely did she stir from that condition and never for long. Her mind existed in a rich dreamscape–a world of strangely vibrant color that she shaped to suit her whims. In the early days, those whims consisted principally of murdering the boy who'd wronged her and seeing his fairy-tale Princess tortured to death in glorious, gory (gorious?) detail.

The witch's caretaker had done its best to deflect the bitter old creature from that. Nowadays it was usually dreams of the endless sky. At least it had been. The Caretaker had somehow found himself locked out of the witch's mind recently. As the mythical creature stood watch over the bier where the wicked woman lay dreaming her dark dreams, the moaning grew louder. That precipitated the subtle twitching of muscles that had long lain unused. The twitching and spasms grew in frequency and number as the Caretaker watched. Indeed, it rather seemed like something amazing was happening.

When it came, the transition was abrupt. One moment the wicked dreamer was deep in her slumber. The next, she was sitting bolt upright, taking in a deep, lusty breath. Her dark eyes came open, blinking once, twice. And then she began to cackle. She began to howl laughter in the most hideous, twisted tone the Caretaker had ever heard. Rising, the evil creature tottered there a moment, regaining her balance and the use of her legs. The Caretaker had done its best to ensure that she would have legs to stand on whenever she awoke, using profligate magic and hard to find unguents to keep the witch's empty body in condition.

"Well, my lovely," cackled the witch, as she strode over to the font in the corner. "It looks like you've done a good job." The ancient shrine had been a haven, providing everything the Caretaker needed to look after its prize. Dipping up water from the font, the witch washed her face and ran her long fingers through the tangled mane of hair she'd awakened with. That would have to get trimmed back. It was much too long. "How fucking long was I out," she wondered? It scarcely mattered. She could get the hair trimmed. A glance down revealed her plump, firm tits encased in an ugly grey sack. That wouldn't do either. "Where're my clothes, dammit," growled the witch? The Caretaker pointed with one of its trunks, and the witch rushed across the shrine to the heavy stone chest that stood against the far wall, finding her dress inside along with her prize weapon.

The dress was ruined, but the shirt had survived her long sleep. Slipping it on, she felt the comforting play of powerful emotions around the tatty cloth. "Well," she said, "you did a good job. You can be my new henchman." The Caretaker gave her a mental frown, opining, _you have a second chance! Is this what you would do?! Go right back and stir it all up again?!_ "In a heartbeat, sweetie-pie," retorted the witch. She blew the creature a kiss as she headed for the castle's gate. Right now she didn't have the power to bend it to her will, but she would when she reached her sanctum. And then it would be payback time.

As the witch headed for her home, hoping that it still stood, a small group of terrifyingly evil creatures huddled in the wrack of a forgotten farmstead, hoping to live just a few more days and escape the terrible fate that had overtaken them. They had been on the run for months, never staying in one place for very long and never revealing themselves to anyone who might escape to report their location. They had gone in a single day from hunters to hunted. The quintet had been assigned to the Grey Forest with the job of keeping their master's untrustworthy allies in line. They had feasted on terror there, killing for the sport of the fool who thought herself their master.

The Lich's shocking fall sent shockwaves through their ranks sending many into hiding or full on flight. The little group assigned to the Matriarch of the forest had fled no less swiftly than the others. Worse news was coming though. The demon and his henchmen had arrived on the scene shortly after, and they had been in relentless pursuit ever since, slowly whittling back the numbers of Dipped as they pursued their quarry across the lands of Ooo.

Claudie wasn't sure what they should be doing now. She had never lead anyone or anything before this, and she was hopelessly out of her depth. The only chance afforded them was a rumored gathering of the Dipped in the wastelands. Claudie hoped desperately to reach the gathering if only out of the thought that she could find safety in numbers. That was her one hope. That there would be enough of them to deter or even defeat the awful power that pursued her.

These days, they traveled from the moment the sun went down to the moment when it came up again and did their best to be under cover in a defensible space when it did. The demon never came at night. For some reason, their foe avoided battle when it was dark, which gave Claudie some hope. Just now, she and her few remaining companions were waiting for the dark. They had stayed here a little too long for her tastes, licking their wounds and trying to gather the strength for one last push to the wastelands. This night would see them hopefully out of reach of their enemy.

"I'm tired," murmured Antoine. The former mutant gangster had been an unreliable ally from the start. He'd terrorized the Grey Forest, going far beyond his mandate to murder any creature he came across in his nightly wandering. He was literally the terror beyond the firelight, lurking just out of sight to slaughter anybody who was fool enough to step into the darkness. Chamber-pots and middens had come back into fashion in the wood-nymphs' forest. You daren't go out to an outhouse when someone might be waiting there to literally destroy all that you were.

Of course, bold as Antoine had been when the power was theirs, he was a pathetic coward now. He was timid about getting up and moving when the time came, and he was always complaining about his exhaustion. It was like the reverses of the last few months had aged his spirit. They, who were already dead, were supposed to be ageless and fearless, but Antoine was afflicted with both ailments. He lagged behind, slowing them down, and dragging their little group closer and closer to grief, such that Claudie would have killed him herself had she the power. Instead, she did her best to manage him. There was a strength in numbers. They needed the numbers to ensure their survival and arrival at the gathering in the wastelands. "Just a few hours," Claudie reminded him. "Conserve your strength. We'll be leaving soon. It'll be dark." "We won't make it," he muttered. "The demon will be on us."

One of the others–a former herder, who'd been sacrificed by his village to appease the Thief King–shot across the room and seized Antoine, jerking him off the ground. "Shut your mouth," snarled the fallen peasant! "It's true," retorted Antoine. "He can't be far behind..." "I said to shut your mouth," snarled the shepherd! "Shut it, before I shut it for you." "He's right," announced a sinister voice. "I'm _not_ far behind, and you _won't_ make it."

The demonic figure stepped out of a shadow into their midst, clad head-to-foot in black armor. The sinister black steel seemed to swim with leering demonic faces, and black flames seemed to flow up and down the length of that sinister coat-of-plate. Hand on the hilt of his black sword, the figure strode into the center of their hideout, declaring, "the Princess of Darkness summons you... Will you go quietly?" His hand stroked the hilt of that sword as the dark visage of his iron helmet swept back and forth, the eye-slits glowing with an evil purple light. "Who will go," demanded the demon? "I will," said Antoine. Turning to Claudie, he said, "I'm tired of running. I ran all my life as a gangster. Ran from the coppers. Ran from the other gangs. Now I'm running from Hell itself... I'm'a quit running."

So saying, he jerked free of the herder's grasp and stepped forward. The herder shouted curses and threats at him, but Antoine wasn't listening. He stepped up before the demon, bold as you please, and waited. The demon drew out a battered old lunch-pail. Blackened as if from a catastrophic fire, yet glowing with a strange, _evil_ light, the lunch-pail was as terrible a sight as its owner. "Just look inside," said the demon, as he flipped the lid open. Antoine was frowning as he turned his head to look into the lunchbox. And then he was screaming. He gave vent to horrible, agonized screams as he was stripped to the soul and then sucked into the void beyond death. As the terrible figure shut the lunch-pail once more, he uttered a single word, "next..."

The angry herder charged. The dark knight twisted out of his way faster than the eye could follow. At the same time, he snapped the lunchbox open, sucking in the soul of another of Claudie's lost. A second Dipped attacked. The demon knight bashed her in the face before deploying his deadly, soul-stealing trick. The herder, wary now, circled for a better angle, trying to use the darkness as a weapon. "This will achieve nothing," rumbled the knight. "You're only delaying final death..." Turning to Claudie, his voice exuding pity, the dark warrior said, "talk to him. I promise the pain will end if he surrenders..."

Far from surrendering, the evil creature charged with a wordless howl of rage. The knight drew his sword faster than the eye could follow, cleaving through the hapless being in one smooth motion. There came a long, tremulous scream that seemed to last forever. Then Claudie was alone. Sliding sword back into sheathe, the dark knight strode towards her. "What do you choose," he asked? "Utter destruction or punishment and peace?" "How long must I suffer," she asked? With a shrug, the knight replied, "in proportion to your guilt... both in your current state and the last..." "I'll find peace," she asked? "Yes," replied the knight, as he raised the lunch-pail-turned-prison. Steeling herself, the undead dropped her arms to her side and walked into hell.

As the Dipped went to her unholy reward, Lollipop Mertens was headed for home after a long, frustrating day. Her appearance had changed to a shocking degree from the slim and beautiful ex-model who'd won the accolades of men and women across the civilized kingdoms. Her hair had grown long and even looked a little unkempt to Kim Kil Whan's eyes. Obviously pregnant, she had developed a look that he might have called seedy, with her eyes red and her face looking a bit drawn–as if maybe she was abusing psychedelic chocolate or fruit-witch venom. He'd seen the signs on more than one of his tenants before he quit directly managing properties he owned.

 _Always the pretty ones,_ he thought. Pretty women like this seemed to always find themselves in trouble, facing long odds and looking as though they were going to lose everything. They got into trouble with bad company and worse boyfriends, ended up neglecting everything important, and lost it all. And Lollipop looked to be doing just that–with Kim's money. He and the other investors had been watching the last few months as the high-fashion boutiques that the former model headlined slowly but surely died of neglect.

Inquiries and letters of warning alike had gone unanswered in the intervening weeks. It was as though they went down a deep, dark hole and got promptly forgotten. The board had stridently insisted that action be taken–and then stuck Kim with the job. The cowards. He'd been at war with himself and the other members of the board for the last few months over this. He was meant to come down here, bash a pregnant woman, and then inform her of their decision. Naturally he didn't like this one bit.

Lost in thought–her endless round of appointments looking after Privy Council Business and her endless worries over Finn–the tall girl didn't even notice the dog-icorn when he exited the limousine just steps ahead of her. It was a failing of hers. She wasn't a soldier, gangster, or adventuress. She was a wife and mom, and that was really all she wanted to be. Startled, the pretty mommy stopped right where she was. "Oh," she burbled, "Kim... It's you..." "Yes," he replied. "Wonder if I could have a word with you..." Blinking in surprise, Lollipop replied, "sure..."

A scant thirty minutes later, Cherry was standing in her living room, watching her stepdaughter play with her son when the door opened to admit Lollipop. The tall candy-person had been staying with Cherry off and on since their return to the Candy Kingdom. Some of it was the fear of what Penny might still be doing out there. A lot of it was Cherry's busy schedule and need for the help. And Van loved his Lolli.

It was Star and Lolli all the time. He knew his sister and adoptive mother better than his real one. It was a source of often intense regret for Cherry Mertens. Every time her son asked for the other woman, she thought wistfully of Finn and the opportunity they had missed all those years ago. Van looked up to see his beloved Lolli and immediately tried to stand and rush to her side. Sensing something was wrong, Star snatched up her little brother and started tickling him. As her son burst into delighted giggles, Cherry went after her friend to see what was wrong.

She found Lollipop sitting on her bed, head in hands, and crying. That wasn't unusual in Finn's family these days. They'd all cried a lot of tears these past few months. Sitting down beside the younger woman, Cherry asked her what was going on. And that's when it all came tumbling out. Out in the living room, Star heard a shouted, "that motherfucker," and immediately clamped her hands over Van's ears. Shouting for his mom to watch her language, Star rushed to put the little guy in his playpen. Shutting his bedroom door, the wizard woman came down to Lollipop's room to find the former model sitting on her bed in tears and her wicked, evil stepmom pacing and muttering curses.

"Ok," demanded Star, "what gives? We're supposed to be watching what we say around him so I don't have to keep blocking his memories of stuff." Flushing Lollipop told Star about the unpleasant encounter with her cousin. "That motherfucker," snarled Star! The little woman had a fair number of unpleasant things to say about her cousin. Cherry interrupted that tirade by telling Lollipop, "stay away from him, and don't answer any summons. I'll take care of it when I get back..." Alarmed, Lollipop pleaded, "oh, please don't kill him! I-I... It's not worth that!" Both the other women rolled their eyes. "As if I'd suggest killing a man in front of the Chief Cop in the Candy Kingdom," snorted Cherry. "No, dear, I may be disbarred, but I still have plenty of lawyer's tricks to use on this shitbag. When I'm done, he'll be begging for a settlement..."

Late that same day, Randy and Shoko came riding into the temporary camp in the north of Purple Kingdom after a long day of surveying the volcano on the island. They found the place bustling, with any number of elementals engaged in the ernest business of survival. There was food to procure–a difficult job when your very touch tended to burn things–there was shelter to get put up for the three-hundred or so families that were going to be making the move south. There was even the issue of the local language. Outside the capitol, few of the locals knew the lingua franca of the civilized kingdoms of Ooo. Many of the Purple People still spoke the language of the dead race that lived here before the Mushroom War.

As usual, Flint had things well in hand. There were strong shelters made of courses of the local stone fused together with heat. And where there weren't enough of those to go around, the prince had ordered up less permanent shelters of the local wood for the adults, who could be better trusted not to accidentally burn them down in the middle of a storm. Thinking of that, Shoko scanned the distant horizon. They'd been dealing with a lot of storms lately. Asbestos tents and other such things had helped them cope, but they needed real shelter and fast. Her stomach got a little queasy thinking about the risk. The more she thought of it, the more she wanted them in that temporary shelter as soon as she could get them there.

Riding up to the picket-line, the pair dropped from the saddle and tied up their wolves. Then they headed up the hill to the stone house that Flint had taken for his headquarters. As they walked, Randy scanned the area the same way he always did. Shoko liked to tease him about his paranoia, but she was a thinker not a soldier. Randy had a lot to worry over. He had his people, his homeland, and his lady. Every day he strove to be true to all three.

As they approached the door, the elemental got ahead of his lady and held the door for her. As soon as Shoko had passed, he slipped inside behind her and got the door shut once more. It was important to keep the heat in the place. Several children were already sick from the chill, and the adults weren't doing so well either. It was one of a number of things wearing at Shoko just now. The cold was doing unpleasant things to the fire elementals. Like the proverbial canaries in the coal mine, they were showing signs of the unpleasant fate that awaited all of Ooo should the Candy Monarch fail to finish removing the Lich's artificial ice-cap.

Flint was in the heart of the headquarters as he most often was these days. They found him pouring over a map of the other island that the Laurel People had told them of. It was a little bit far, even for wolf-riders, and there was a great risk in trying to transport large numbers of their folk so far over open water. When you got into the risk of storms and rain, the risk jumped dramatically. Only the possibility of a far larger space than the ones they had been looking at made the idea at all worth considering. More to the point, the volcano at the heart of the island was massive and still growing, its magma chamber still connected to the molten heart of Ooo, which would support their people for a long, long while.

As they approached, the older man looked up, his perpetual scowl making his face look angry and hostile. Flint wasn't good to be around on the best days, and the chronic negative attitude was the deepest expression of that. " _And_...," he rumbled? He made no secret of his disdain for Shoko. He challenged her authority at every turn, and it was a known fact that he sniped at her behind her back. So far nothing concrete had ever gotten back to Randy. He didn't want to duel Flint, but he would for his lady. For her part, Shoko mostly ignored him. She wasn't interested in fighting a war, and so she had no need for an army. It was only the need for the army's fire wolves and other transportation that drove the need to deal with him now.

Shoko never skipped a beat, as she walked straight up to Flint's table, showing that she was hardly intimidated. Randy was proud of his lady as Shoko calmly declared, "we'll have to dig for the magma. Get the women, children, and elders relocated to Princess Noemi's Capitol. We'll put the able-bodied males to work digging." Randy steeled himself for an explosion. Flint hadn't wanted to bother looking at the other volcano. He wanted the more active one near San Giorgio anyway, and he'd cussed a blue streak when Shoko suggested looking at the slumbering giant on the island. Instead of exploding, Flint calmly replied, "as you wish, Princess Shoko. I'll have the men get to work tomorrow." It was an uncharacteristically _rational_ reaction from Flint, and it left Randy feeling the chill of suspicion. What _was_ the man up to?

Moving on, Flint laid out maps of the island caldera that the folk of Laurel Kingdom had proposed as a possible home. "There are a number of islands that could be used as stepping stones," said he. "I've had the men work out a series of alternate routes dependents could take along with diversion sites if they run into trouble." From the sound of things, he almost had the whole thing mapped out and ready to go. It was an uncharacteristic display that set Randy's hackles up. Looking to Shoko as his example, he said nothing.

The pair listened to all Flint's explanations as he laid out his plans. He had scouts already on the island, mapping out where they would stage the refugees while the housing got sorted. There were dormant volcanoes along the flight path that could serve for advance bases to support rescue teams in the event of tragedy. It was the sort of brilliant and thorough performance that had helped Flint rise so quickly through the ranks to lead the army, and it had been notably _absent_ the last few months. Honestly, Randy was glad to see him putting real effort into this. It gave the younger man hope that they could, collectively, get their people through all of this.

"This is really good, Flint," Shoko replied. "I think we can proceed with this. How long will it take to get everything prepared?" "A couple weeks," replied the older man. "After, I think we can move a hundred families a week." "Alright," said Shoko. "Proceed." Yawning heavily, the tall, thin woman turned to go. She was exhausted, and everyone there knew it. Rather than hang around looking for reasons to question Flint's new-found determination to cooperate, Randy took his lady by the arm and steered her back out the door. She needed rest.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4:

Baron Stig Elftmann strode out onto the dais in the Grand Hall of the Warrior Kingdom, looking resplendent in his ceremonial armor. Today was the day. All his rivals were dead. He'd been carefully eliminating them over the last few years. He had the tacit backing of the Privy Council for his ascension. More to the point, with the strongest people on the council either in his pocket or at each other's throats, there was nobody to mount a challenge to him. Everything was in place.

He'd been born lord of a small fiefdom in the hinterlands. He'd been a man of short prospects, and he'd seemed to be eternally missing the boat due to the timing of his birth. He'd missed out on the wars that had raged across the civilized kingdoms of Ooo. In his father and grandfather's day, the world had been a far less civilized place, and men contested the field and the honor of war with their bare hands or the naked blade. It had been a time to stir the heart and the loins both. His father and brothers had earned glory and come back covered in laurels and accolades. And if their lands hadn't expanded appreciably for the effort and blood shed, they had earned respect from their neighbors.

Unfortunately, after an age of war, Stig was born into an age of peace with little prospect for expanding his domain through glorious and bitter battle. He'd ascended to the throne, not out of the pride of conquest but simply due to inglorious _attrition_ as his other relations slowly died off from the excesses of their lives as warriors. His eldest brother had gone first, dieing of the after effects of a years-old injury that had left him weak and infirm. He'd gone for a ride on his favorite horse, had a seizure, and died by the roadside. His middle brother had gone next, having gotten drunk in town and fallen in a creek on his way home. The family patriarch had expired of a heart attack on a hunting trip.

In the end, Stig was all that was left. By that time, the wars that satisfied men's ambitions were all but done. There was no time or place for the youngest Elftmann to win a name for himself in glorious battle. And that was exactly what Stig had desired. All his life, he'd nursed ambition to end ambition. He desired to be a Prince within the Lands of Ooo, and he kept a hunger in him for even more than that. Could he manage it, he would have made himself King. Ironically, the worthless son of a cuckold who had previously held that title had finally lost his life after challenging Bonnibel Bubblegum for her throne. The way was clear now for someone with the might and the wits to take his place.

Baron Elftmann thought he was that man. He'd languished for a time under the rule of Princess Ingrid, watching her fumble her way through her rule before she finally wrecked the state on the rocks of her illicit affair. The Warrior Kingdom had looked as though it would founder and come apart then, but the barons had held it together in spite of the endless stream of would-be princesses that contested for that throne. Now there was a new power at hand. Stig still had his eyes on the Crown of Ooo, but today he had a more immediate goal in mind. He was going to seize the throne of his homeland. He would be Baron no more.

Princess Ingrid had squandered her prestige and power on an outsider. She'd lain with a petty-thief and nearly raised a tyrant. Clarence had seduced his way to the Princess's side, gotten himself in her bed, and worked his way into her confidence. From there, the outsider had proceeded to win his way to her throne through manipulation, lies, and bribery. He'd built his own following out of the pathetic hangers-on from the court, using their influence to wield an army against the very woman who'd fallen under his spell. The Baron had been there for the ugly civil war that had resulted. Now, at long last, he had come out on top.

Patriarch Geirolf was on hand with the crown–freshly retrieved from the Princess's grave. Now, as the Baron approached, all his adherents rose to watch him accept the crown from the Patriarch's hands. The gathered nobles all shouted acclamations as their leader came to a stop before the country's chief spiritual advisor. Then, as the Patriarch began to speak, laying his pasty hands on the Baron's shoulders and invoking the blessings of Glob on the would-be prince, the clamor ceased.

In a loud, clear voice, Geirolf went down the list of the Lord's qualifications, declaring to all and sundry his suitability to take the throne. The Patriarch talked of the Baron's generosity with the peasant class. He spoke of his bravery in battle. He even reminded those gathered within the hall of the Baron's mastery of diplomacy. After all, very few men could manage to wrangle the nasty harridans on the Princess Privy Council. Coming to the end of his remarks, the Patriarch turned and took the crown off the fluffy white pillow it rested on and turned to its new owner.

"Is there anyone who would dare dispute Baron Elftmann's right and fitness to take this crown," asked the Patriarch? That was, technically, part of the ceremony, but it was a part that the Baron was queasy about. He didn't want some asshat spoiling his moment by speaking up! He certainly didn't want the resultant ugly confrontation on his hands. He was trying to restore the peoples' faith in their government after Princess Ingrid let them down. "Anyone," asked the Patriarch unnecessarily. The Baron almost punched the old man in the back of the head! What the fuck did he think he was doing?! You didn't ask that question _twice_!

Almost as if _attracted_ by that question, a voice from the past announced, "there is one..." The Baron–indeed every man there–turned to face the source of that voice. A cold chill ran down the Baron's spine as he caught sight of the beautiful face there at the side entry. "This gathering is closed," snarled the Patriarch! "How dare you interrupt?!" "Why, Geirolf," replied the slim figure. "Is that how you would treat _me_? You were much more polite when you handled _my_ coronation..." The slim figure came down the cross aisle of the Hall, and every man there cleared out of her way. Indeed the assembly parted before her like waves against a breakwater. Nobody wanted to get near her.

As the tall figure approached the dais, she gave the man standing atop the marble platform a sweet smile. "Stig," said she, "this is bad comedy..." "Who are you," growled the Baron! Imperiously, she growled, "you know my name." It was clear he was having some trouble saying it. He didn't believe. He'd always said it. Stig Elftmann never believed in anything beyond his strong right arm. In his own words, that was something a _man_ could believe in. "You are a lie and a fraud," growled the Baron! Turning to his guards, he snarled, "take this impostor away!" But none made a move.

His head darted this way and that, glaring at the guards, but they stood rooted to the spot. For some, it was sheer terror. Others were caught between the shock of the moment and the confusion of who they were supposed to support. The Baron had been slowly drawing pieces of the former Princess's army to his side. He'd been earning their loyalty with his ill-gotten coins and with his displays of his own martial prowess. At the same time, they were sworn to an earlier, _older_ loyalty.

"You know me," growled the beautiful woman. "You know me just as your father knew my mother's last words. After all, he helped gut her like a prize fish..." Stig Elftmann's eyes darted back and forth. No-one was supposed to know about his family's treachery towards Princess Ingrid's mother, who had once been their ruler. The Elftmann clan had betrayed their monarch for her daughter's favor. When it looked as if she might slip the trap, Holmer Elftmann had killed her horse. Then he'd helped the princess's own daughter chop her to pieces.

It was treachery and evil and quite beyond the pale. He knew not how an impostor would know that, but he didn't need her spreading those words around. Snatching the axe from his belt, the evil man charged off the dais, swinging the axe in a powerful, shearing blow, meant to lop the newcomer's entire right side off her body. The slim woman spun to her left, executed a neat pirouette and clove his extended right arm off at the shoulder. The big man screamed then. He screamed like a battered child right up until the point where she lopped off his head. The head flew through the air, bounced once, and landed at Geirolf's feet. Wiping contemptuously at her sword, the tall beauty climbed the dais. Plucking the crown from the Patriarch's nerveless fingers, she settled it atop her long, blonde locks and sat down on the ornate throne.

"Sven," said she. "I need a report by morning of what my assets are. Comb the census, check the rolls of established houses. I want to know how many able-bodied soldiers are available to me. Valter? You're to go to my treasury. I need to know how many coins are there, and if I have enough for war. Yngve, go to the storehouses and find out how much food my people are hoarding. Go quickly." The assembled nobles stared for a moment as if living in a dream that had become a nightmare.

The lovely face up on the throne frowned in implicit threat. And then, in short order, the pack of them was headed for the entrance. Turning to her guards, the slim beauty said, clean this mess up..." One quavering coward asked, "what about the Baron's wife and family?" Steepling her hands before her, the Princess replied, "fifty years, dungeon..." The guards moved off to see it done, leaving her alone with the Patriarch. The old man stood staring at her for a while in an irritatingly unnerving manner. Finally the exasperated monarch demanded, " don't you have praying to do?" Blushing to his hair, the man rushed out of there in terror, leaving the specter on the throne.

Elsewhere, in the still-icy north of Ooo, a curious thing was happening. The master of Klaus's money-lending sat sleeping at his counting table in the locked room where he customarily did his business. It had been a long week for the gentleman, requiring him to be up with the dawn each day and late at the counting table every night, and he was paying the price of it. There was a pot hung next to the raging fire in his fireplace–it having been unseasonably cold for weeks now–but the mutant merchant had failed to actually swing the pot into the fire to heat the water for the tea he'd been intending to drink.

Just now he was fully submerged in slumber, snoring with a sound like an army of wood-cutters. Lost in the land of dreams as he was, he was hardly aware that his fire now had a pair of luminous eyes. Those eyes had watched the money-lender off and on for the past few weeks, getting his habits down, looking his house over from various vantage points, and preparing for this moment. The money was drawn from the stone and iron vault in the basement. There were no customers in the place to see what happened and when. And, most importantly, the little dribble of carbon-monoxide in the air had put the banker out like a light. There was nothing in the way of a little larceny.

Tomas Abgarowicz took one more glance around the room before stepping _out_ of the fire. Scanning the scene and listening to the timber of the old man's snores, he did the calculation in his mind one more time. He could haul the contents of the side-table in one go. The table was stone and iron, so his hands wouldn't burn it. Raising the asbestos sack he carried, the elemental thief tip-toed across the room to his prize. He was scarcely halfway there when a nozzle hidden above him opened, unleashing the most painful moment of his entire existence. As the elemental collapsed in agony from the horrific dousing with hated water, Klaus the Money-Lender sat up, plucked the breathing gadget from his mouth and reflected on the strange situation he now found himself in.

He hadn't really believed the gangsters when they offered their strange new brand of _protection_. For one thing, how would they even have known that a fire elemental would be breaking into his home? It had seemed like nothing more than an excuse to get _themselves_ inside. At least it had until he'd met _her_. He'd seen her in company with the Princess on numerous occasions. Most people in the capitol of Froyo Kingdom knew who Cherry Cream Soda was, even if they dared not speak her name. Klaus himself had seen her at the home of one of the most important bankers in the kingdom. Tempted past prudence, he'd suggested an assignation. Far from showing an interest in his wealth or position in the kingdom, she had been cold and hard as stone, and Klaus had come away from that encounter with a terror of little candy people who would murder you in your sleep with a very dull knife.

The click-clacking of high-heeled boots on his wooden floors announced the little beauty before the door even opened. Stepping through on the heels of one of her many flunkies, she strode right up to the elemental and nudged him with her toe. "I-is he dead," asked Klaus? "No," rumbled Cherry Mertens, "though he'll soon wish he was." Nodding at her companion, she said, "take him." As the money-lender watched, the short, thin creature that lay on his floor was bundled into an iron box lined and laced with heavy refractory brick and fitted with a water-tank at its back. The blonde giant wheeled the man out just as he and his mistress had come in. Turning to the money-lender, the gangster coldly told him, "the cost for your protection is now doubled. You're welcome." And without a further word, she went out the door with her bodyguard and her prize. Under the circumstances, Klaus thought he'd gotten off lightly! A few extra coins from the till beat getting burned to death!

The little crime boss and her henchman went out the back door, hauling her _guest_ with them. Thor bundled the elemental into a heavy parcel-wagon, before sealing him in. Then, joining Cherry on the seat up front, he took up the reins and whipped the team into motion. Riding through the cold streets, Thor's mind wandered to the woman he'd left in the Candy Kingdom. She had been hinting at marriage lately. Star Mertens had suggested on several occasions that maybe they should have a long chat about tomorrows. Thor had been dodging the issue.

It was funny, in its way. She'd saved him from certain death. If he'd managed to shatter his frozen arm down in the vaults, he would certainly have bled to death not long after. If he had managed not to die from that, he would likely have gotten gangrene when the frozen and dead limb thawed out. Likely he would have died from that. She could have exacted any price she chose for saving his arm and life. She'd settled on all his tomorrows. In a way, she already owned him.

As he thought of Star, Thor glanced over at the woman on his left and reflected on the nature of women. Women wanted to nest. The cruelest, coldest, hardest of them wanted to build a little nest somewhere to raise their brood. Star was no different than the woman who had claimed her as a stepdaughter. Though the warrior-wizard already owned him, she wanted that last ounce of his flesh. Trouble was Thor was having problems accepting that. He was having difficulty giving his lady what she wanted, though not for the usual reasons.

He would have gleefully given her his Name. That was what a man lived for. A real man lived to find the woman who wanted his Name. Trouble was his name was _tainted_. His grandfather had betrayed the Princess of the Warrior Kingdom and pledged himself to the traitor, Clarence. That rash decision had destroyed their House, tarnished their Name, and left Thor a penniless wanderer, selling his skills to any who wished to pay. He wouldn't have offered his lady such an insult when she had a proper Name of her own.

Out of the blue, his master asked, "so when is the wedding?" Thor tensed beside her. She could feel it. "Are you planning to insult my stepdaughter, Thor," asked the crimelord? She was watching him. He could feel her eyes on him. She was hard as the hardest mountain, and, against all the odds, she had come to love his lady as her own child. "No, lady," he rumbled. "I... I'm..." "You're playing with Star's emotions, Thor," said Cherry. "Be very, _very_ careful with what you're doing..." The big man flushed to his hair, but he said nothing. Thankfully, his master let the matter drop.

Silence reigned as they drove through the streets of the Froyo Kingdom's capitol. There were people out and about, enjoying the evening, and Cherry reflected on the good times she'd had with her husband, brief as those moments had been. She wanted to travel back to this place on better terms–when they weren't Captain of the Guard and Boss of Bosses. She wanted to see Finn give Star away. She wanted grandchildren to spoil, which was a mad thought when she only barely had children of her own. She would have had grandchildren already if she hadn't been obsessed with death.

Finn had tumbled in and out of her life in the early years just after her husband died. Lost in her obsession, she'd barely noticed when he found himself a wife and settled down. That could well have been her. Star could well have been her child in truth. _Can't change the past, Cherry,_ she reminded herself. They had now, and they needed to live in the now.

"I'm... I... don't want my wife to be married to a thief," Thor muttered. Cherry's head snapped over. "I'm... My Name...," he rumbled. "I'm a disgrace. Why... She should have a husband who's Name won't bring her shame..." Cherry rolled her eyes in disgust. "Men," she muttered. "Always thinking with their balls and their chest-hairs." Turning to face him once more, she coldly reminded him, "that girl could give two fucks about what you did to earn a living, kid. You better put a ring on it before it gets away, or you'll be as fucked as I was." And it wasn't often a person got a second chance.

Thor's face was red-hot as he rolled the wagon into the courtyard of the old yogurt-works that served as Cherry's headquarters here. This was where her henchmen mixed up the toxic filth that filled her coffers for shipment across Ooo. There were moments when the karma of that horrified her. At the same time, she was a terribly pragmatic person. Men had sold psychedelic chocolate and fruit-witch venom for decades _before_ she was born. They would be selling those same things–or something just as bad–when she was dust. And she wasn't holding a gun to anybody's head to make them buy it.

Really, she was profiting off of her colleagues' _squeamishness_ over the recreational drug trade, and if they once thought about it, they would recognize that they were wasting time and valuable resources trying to stamp it out. Then they'd be hitting her pocketbook with the usual usurious taxes. _But until then, I'm free of that,_ thought Cherry, as she hopped off the seat. She strolled across the courtyard and into her home away from home, trusting her idiot son-in-law to get their new friend into the basement. While she made herself a cup of the nasty herbal tea the doctor had prescribed, the big man wrestled the bulky container into the basement, setting it up in one of the cold storage rooms.

By the time the crime boss had drunk her medicine, her guest was ensconced in his new digs and moaning softly in pain. Cherry came downstairs, nibbling at a crescent roll to find her henchmen had everything set up. It was time to revive the chump. Climbing up onto a stool before the mark, the wicked stepmom motioned for Thor to do the deed. Flicking a match, Thor deftly lit a torch pressed it into the elemental's dead-brown skin, and stepped back. The creature swarmed up out of the darkness of unconsciousness with a shriek.

"Evening," Cherry greeted him. Head darting this way and that, the elemental scanned the scene, finding himself in a very bad place. "You can't get out of that box," said Cherry. "At least, I wouldn't recommend it..." The room was as cold as the inside of her heart. "I... uh... what gives," stammered the elemental? "You broke the rules," Cherry replied. "You're not supposed to be robbing people who pay their protection." The elemental's face flushed. He'd thought that, since he wasn't at home, he could get away with it. After all, there wasn't anybody here to tell him no. At least, that's what he'd _thought_.

The little woman gave him a dark, _sinister_ smile, telling him that he was dealing with the _somebody_ who was going to tell him the rules. "Hey," he said. "I-I'd have paid up..." "Sure you would have," growled Cherry. Crossing her legs artfully, she said, "but you didn't. So now..." One of her henchmen stepped forward with a bucket of ice, and the elemental screamed like a girl. "Please," he wailed! "Glob! I-I got a wife and three kids! I-I'll do anything you want!" Straightening, Cherry said, "what I _want_ is some information, Mr?" "It's Tom," replied the elemental. "Tom Abgarowicz! I swear I won't do it again!" "Tell me," said Cherry. "Are there any soldiers in the old iron works?" The elemental frowned in puzzlement. The shaking of the ice-bucket reminded him that maybe he better speak up. "Y-yeah," he stammered. "There's... Got to be twenty or thirty. Real bad dudes... I hear they're commandos or somethin'... I... I can tell you what they're up to if you want..." Cherry gave him a sinister smile and said, "that's just what I was hoping you'd say."

Back in the Candy Kingdom, the Captain of the Guard came strolling out of her afternoon seminar feeling the strain of her crazy life. There were moments she would actually have reveled in having her father's curse. Most often, it was times like these where her life was headed in a wrong direction. She was tired of being super-cop. She had been doing it for the cash and as a favor to her dad, but now she had money and ambition to be more than a thug bashing punks in the street. She wanted to settle down, hang a shingle, and raise a family. The whole 'peeps are tryin'a kill me' thing was in the way.

She was burning the candle at both ends now. Burning it in the middle too if you threw Thor in the mix. Balancing the Banana Guards, her relationship, and school with looking after Van sometimes when her stepmoms were running around with their hair on fire, she was averaging four hours of sleep a night. There were times like today where she really considered dumping the whole 'go to school and get degree' thing. It was only her parents' wishes and her own stubbornness that kept her going. Her mothers and father had set great store by education, doing everything they could to make sure the kids got one. She wasn't going to squander that.

Staring for a moment at the westering sun–she really was burning up her life–the young woman pondered just going home. Her mothers were somewhat back on the straight-and-narrow, and Simone was cooking again, so she could get something good in her stomach instead of the garbage she ate when she found the time as Captain of the Guard. The troops were a little better than they had been under her dad's command, but then they had just had all the losers get wasted in a major conflict, so there was that. _Would one night matter,_ Star pondered? It was a truism that eventually the hard living would catch up to her. She'd crashed hard in the Mafia Princess's palace. Thor had literally had to put her to bed, and she scarcely even remembered any of it. "Go home, Star," she told herself as she headed down the stairs to her truck.

That was when the world exploded in smoke, thunder, and flame. She'd barely clicked the clicker in her pocket when the truck erupted in a ferocious blast of heat that sent her flying, ass-over-elbows. She hit the wall. She _felt_ herself hit the wall. Her last thoughts before unconsciousness were, 'that's gonna' leave a mark.' Sinister figures across the street went tearing out of there in an ugly brown delivery van as passersby on the street tried to pick themselves up and assess what had just happened.

A pair of Banana Guards was on the scene within moments, finding their leader's vehicle blown to smithereens and the lady herself laying in a heap against the side of the Gumbald Community College, looking like she'd been almost at ground-zero. After putting out her clothes, the pair got down to the business of checking her vitals and calling in an ambulance. Within thirty minutes of the event, a string of ambulances were tearing through the streets of the Candy Kingdom, carrying the injured to the Candy Clinic and the circus that awaited them there.

It was hours later that Star Mertens awoke to the sounds of a heated argument outside her room. Scanning the room around her, she found the usual shit plugged into and strapped onto her body. She had an IV, drip-dripping fluids into her. It wasn't blood, so it appeared she wasn't too badly hurt. A peek under the covers showed that she had all four limbs. Swaths of bandages suggested that maybe she had some burns or bruises or something. Nothing she couldn't really handle. Testing her limbs, she found that all of them answered the call. So now began the torture of getting out of bed.

Drew Mertens was in the middle of shouting some very dangerous threats at Princess Bubblegum when Star came out of the hospital room. The tall doctor was nose to nose with the Princess. Spittle was flying from her lips, and she looked like she was mere moments from thrashing a pregnant woman in the middle of the hospital hallway with a dozen onlookers watching. The situation was rendered all the more absurd by the presence of another pregnant woman and the fact that the good doctor herself was good and knocked-up.

"What's going on," asked Star?

Those words had her birth-mom and Simone at her side in an instant. She hadn't even realized they were here. Simone had a hand on her shoulder, trying to steer her back inside, but Star wasn't having any of it. "So, I got blown up," she said. "What happened?" Brushing past Drew, Princess Bubblegum announced, "we were hoping you could tell us..." Before the questions could start, Dr. Drew insisted on having Star back in bed.

Laying propped up while her doctor-turned-stepmom fussed over her, the young woman did her best to answer her boss's endless questions. Trouble was Bonnie was asking the wrong person. "Somebody blew up my truck," replied Star. "S'all I know." She'd been knocked-out in the blast. She vaguely recalled seeing a brown delivery van speed out of there, but she didn't see who was driving.

It was troubling news, but there was nothing to be done about it now. Shocking Simone and Emeraude both, Bonnie insisted on hugging Star and kissing her cheek before slipping back out the door. She was left with her mom, Simone, Drew, and Lollipop. Staring in the direction Bonnie went, Simone opined, "well, that was... _odd_..." Star flushed. None of the kids had really talked about what had gone on while her moms were _indisposed_. She was a little queasy about how close they had all gotten to women who were nominally 'not-friends' of their mothers, Star no less than Fi and Bill. _Water under the bridge, Star,_ she decided. Moving on, the little woman opened with, "so, when do I get out?" And that precipitated the shouting.

Late that night, an exhausted Cherry Mertens rubbed at her itchy, red eyes and pondered sleep. She was burning the candle at both ends. Things hadn't gotten _better_ since the Lich went down. Some moments it seemed almost as if he had put the world on a collision course with disaster. He was gone. They'd figuratively taken his hands off the wheel. However, the train was still chugging along down the track, and who knew when or where it was going to stop. Sitting there, she thought of her husband wistfully. She needed him. She'd thought she'd stopped _needing_ someone when Rootbeer died, but she needed Finn and badly. There were so many questions she needed answers to.

How were they going to raise two boys? What would they tell them about what Cherry did in the world? She'd had a respectable trade as a lawyer, and she'd thrown it all away. For power. She had more power now than nearly any other person on Ooo. She had more power than most of the princesses. But it was a seductively _evil_ power, and she wanted better for her sons. Thinking of Lollipop had her pondering if maybe she shouldn't bow out. Lollipop had been ably raising Van, and she didn't have the encumbrances that Cherry had.

The phone rang, startling her out of her reverie. Picking up the phone, she flicked her finger through the combination, and answered with, "yes?" "Are you alone," asked Bonnibel? "Yes," replied Cherry. "What's the matter now?" On the other end of the line, Bonnie grimaced. It was coming down to that. Their problems were multiplying. The world, as they knew it, was coming apart. "Someone tried to murder Star tonight," Bonnie replied. She heard the rustling of cloth and a thud, and she realized that Cherry had just kicked over her chair. "She's alright," murmured Bonnie. "They blew up her truck, but she wasn't in it. I'm arranging a bodyguard. I just got off the phone with Drew. She's got a mild concussion, but she'll be cleared to go home in the morning..."

To the flammable fucking treehouse. Cherry felt her face go red hot. She'd tried to burn the treehouse to the ground herself, angling to do in Simone and Emeraude. That was water under the bridge. She had made her peace with them, and she hoped someday they would all be at peace with each other. In the right now, she refocused on the matter at hand. "Do we know who," she asked? "Not a clue," replied Bonnie. "You suspect someone," retorted Cherry. Otherwise why call _her_. "A hunch," replied the bubblegum princess. Nodding, Cherry replied, "say on..." "Your agents start disappearing in Wildberry's Kingdom, making you blind there," Bonnie explained. "We know that there's piles of petty criminals who want positions of power..." "You're thinking maybe somebody there's angling to make a move," rumbled Cherry. "Worse," sighed Bonnie. "I fear Wildberry's been helping whoever it is."

Cherry's fist clenched, and she felt her heart accelerate minutely. "It fits," muttered Cherry. It was Cherry's agents and Cherry's connections that revealed a great deal of the behind-the-scenes treachery Wildberry and Penny were throwing at them and at each other. "Alright," sighed Cherry. "I'll step up efforts to rebuild my network in Wildberry Kingdom." "Fair enough," replied Bonnie. "Just make sure you watch your own back." Cherry would have signed off, then, but Bonnie had one last question. "Will you tell Thor," she asked? The crime boss thought long and hard about that. "No," she sighed. "I don't want him asking for the wrong reason." "Alright," replied Bonnie. "Just... don't hide things too long." And then she was gone, leaving Cherry wide awake and very worried.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5:

She had once been _very_ pretty. Marshall Lee Abadeer gave her that. He could see it in the way she moved and even the way she spoke. She had been a sultry, _sensual_ woman. The tall man imagined her seducing many a stiff and relieving them of their hard-earned coin with those looks. These days the pale beauty did much the same thing–only the coin she took was life itself. Since its construction, the seedy pub had witnessed its share of dark deeds. Bars and strip joints–really any place that appealed to a man's baser hungers–always did. Still Marshall thought none of those past misdeeds compared to what happened here now.

Standing up on the stage, the slim beauty slowly and sensuously gyrated as the customers threw coins. They were pathetic pussy hounds with no idea what they were dealing with here. The tall youth only had eyes for the pretty dancer as he slowly made his way down the aisle between dozens of enthusiastic victims. They were just moments from a fate worse than death and none of them even knew it. The dancer stared back, her blue eyes inviting as the tall stranger approached. She liked them handsome. She liked to kill the young best of all. She liked the feel of all that _potential_ going to waste–burned up in the blink of an eye.

"Hey," growled one of the thugs! "You should wait in back, boy!" Marshall ignored him and kept right on walking. Hearing that, one of the fools actually got up and blocked his way, growling, "you look too young t'be here, kid. Get lost before I lose my temper." The Vampire King chuckled in amusement. Then he revealed the most hideous face that the man had ever had the misfortune to see. The roughneck pissed himself a long minute as the music stopped and every face there turned to look at that unhappy confrontation. As the fool stood there, knees knocking, Marshall brushed past, his eyes back on his prize. "The hunter," murmured the undead as recognition finally dawned. "End of the road," replied Marshall.

Chaos erupted as several members of the crowd showed their true and terrifying colors in that moment. The Dipped killed six men in one moment, slaughtering them in their haste to reach the creature who'd been hunting them. They'd been expecting the Knight. They'd heard rumors of the Hellknight who killed their kind or offered them a one-way ride straight into the Night-O-Sphere. This wasn't that man. This was a youth, and some thought they could take him. As the Dipped converged on Marshall Lee's position, the youth yawned calmly, then became invisible.

That shocking move decided the men who were still staring around them in horrified shock. As the undead twisted and turned, searching for their foe, the rest of them cleared out of there as if their lives were on the line–which they very much were. The dancer backpedaled, even as she revealed her own horrifying visage. "We have hostages," she shouted, twisting her head this way and that in a vain attempt to scent-out their foe. "Yeah," said Marshall, as he thrust his fist through her torso and out her chest. "We know." The Dipped screamed as the Vampire King inhaled her soul, reducing her physical form to oily black smoke in an instant.

The undead who'd been hunting him through the room, stopped stock-still where they were, their minds doing that ugly calculation. This had been a haven, and Kendra had attracted a most excellent clientele for their awful version of 'service', but the jig was well and truly up. They wouldn't be able to use this place again, and they had a lot to lose against their terrifying foe. As one, the six creatures fled, going in three directions at once. Three rushed the back door, piling up there as they fumbled at the cast-iron knob before one got the bright idea to simply dissolve the door. What they found on the other side was even more terrifying than the tall figure in the club, as the terrifying Hellknight came striding through the open doorway. Raising the symbol of his power, he siphoned the soul of the first creature he came to, draining it into the box in his hands.

When the second man in the line would have turned to run, the Knight punched him through the throat, impaling him on the heavy, spiked gauntlet he wore. As the Dipped screamed and howled in agony, the demon dragged his face down to the box, forcing him to look inside. The screams grew louder and more agonized as the undead lost his unlife to the power of the Princess of Darkness. The third Dipped turned to flee, and the Knight impaled him on his terrible sword, destroying him utterly. Meanwhile, Marshall Lee pounced on the creature trying vainly to get out the window. His claws tore into the creature's mutable flesh, shredding it into puffs of inky smoke. As the creature begged, the Vampire King drained his ugly soul, sucking the life from him.

The remaining pair reached the street out front, finding bedlam let loose in the town. The pair of them split up, one rushing south, the other north. A bolt of energy slammed into the south-bound freak, blasting him asunder and lending impetus to the north-bound undead's hasty feet. The creature tore down the street in terror of its existence. The hunters had come at last. He and his companions had been stalking the night here for _weeks_ , slaughtering peeps at will–just luring them in. Kendra _excelled_ at it. The former female had made a lifetime out of seducing fools and absconding with their money. Almost none got what they bargained for. Some of them had even lost their lives in the process.

More to the point, Kendra had been one of the few Dipped to go willingly into the darkness. Stabbed to death by a pimp in Oceanside, she'd willingly allowed her failing body to be the Thief King's experiment, earning her a new lease on 'life' and a chance to give her murderer his comeuppance. She'd been leader and inspiration of sorts. Now she was gone, slaughtered by the terrible fiends that had been chasing them. All his companions were gone, and he was alone against their terrible enemies. They'd stayed too long. They had gotten too used to the game and stayed too long at the fair. Now they were all undone!

The Dipped went tearing through dark alleys and down cross-streets, relying on his supernatural speed and agility as he smashed through rows of trash cans and knocked down barriers in his haste to get away. You ran when they found you. That was the lesson that other groups had learned to their cost. You ran quite literally as though Hell was after you. This hadn't been advertised as part of the deal! They were supposed to be doing something noble–ending the suffering of the world and bringing on the End of Days. There wasn't supposed to be torturous _punishment_! Of course, they had also _failed_. Whether it was the Lich's failure or their failure to continue his Plan, the Dipped were bound up in the disaster that had befallen Death's servants months ago.

 _Maybe that's it,_ the undead thought, as he slid to a stop in a darkened alleyway. Standing there between two houses, doing his best to hunker down deep in a shadow, the evil creature thought long and hard about that. They'd all just run. Instead of pressing ahead and trying to finish the plan, they'd just quit, like the losers they had all been before the transformation. Maybe that was why they were being punished. Just as he came to that ugly conclusion, a hand out of the darkness grabbed him by his throat and squeezed. "Hey, there," said the Vampire King. "How ye been?"

The Dipped quavered and flailed at him. The undead hissed ridiculous thoughts at him, pleading for its continued existence. "You're dead, buddy," said the Lord of All Vampires. "Nothing personal. It's just that you guys don't really belong here. I got stuff I need to get done, and I can't do that while I'm chasing down you losers." The creature's struggles slowly weakened as the Vampire King drained it of life. Marshall Lee whistled one of his early hits as he 'killed' the creature in his hands. Strangely enough, a corner of his mind remembered that it was Connie's favorite. A pang of loss hit him then. He'd been running from her for over two years now. He hadn't been ready to face her after the Change. He still wasn't sure he was ready to face her. _She deserves to hear an answer from you, bud,_ he thought. He'd been struggling to erase the ugly debt of karma that he'd run up over the course of his sordid little life. Killing these guys was part of that but only part–and a small part at that. _Got to get straight with Connie,_ he decided. _Soon as we get rid of these turds._

As the undead's quicksilver body melted into nothing, footsteps behind him–and a lot of huffing and puffing–announced he had a watcher. She'd been doing that a lot lately. "'Fuck'd I tell you about that," muttered the Vampire King as he turned to regard his stepmom. Betty smiled back at him. She could see how the Curse worked. She could see how _addictive_ the power was, and this wasn't even _hers_. She was leeching the strange power to slip through time from her unborn child. Striding forward, Marshall Lee got in her face. "I'm ok," she muttered. "It was a short jaunt. I needed to catch up."

They weren't supposed to go it alone. They had power in their hands–far more than the Dipped. Still, Marshall's father hadn't gotten into his forties by being careless. He only _looked_ like a reckless asshat. Behind that gullible look lurked a keen, _calculating_ mind. He'd decreed that they were never to engage alone. He feared that, if there were enough of them, they could get the upper hand. At least that's what he told his son. The reality was a lot more complex.

Raising the lid on the Dybbuk-Box, Betty told her stepson, "hand them over, sweetie." Marshall found himself strangely _eager_ to shed himself of the ugly _weight_ of the dead he'd just consumed. When she had the box open, he exhaled the awful stink of the damned into it, shedding their oozing evil and cleansing his battered soul. Betty immediately slammed the lid shut. Setting it aside, she took his face in her hands and stared deep into his eyes. It was... _awkward_. He had always had trouble with the feminine and the females in his life. He'd never treated them very well, and he was still paying for that ugly karma too. He knew the greed. He had seen every kind of trick that a girl could use to get her hand in your pocket. He was almost _familiar_ with it in all its forms. He got uncomfortable when a woman wanted to fuss over him out of any kind of _genuine_ affection.

"I don't like what that does to you," murmured Betty, as she turned to pick up the box. "Either of you." Marshall flinched. His old man was taking a beating in this. He kept pushing himself on and on, but the truth was that this was subtly and slowly killing him. It was another reason that Marshall wanted to draw this shit to a close. Finn had a world waiting for him–a world of imperfect women who perfectly loved him. Striding forward, Marshall picked his stepmother up, transforming as he did so. "You shouldn't fucking be doing that," he groused as he took flight. "It's not good for the kid..." Or her. And it was an ugly fucking secret that he was keeping from his father because, frankly, the old man would fucking freak if he found out.

As Marshall Lee Abadeer carried his stepmom back to the rendezvous with his dad, an unpleasant confrontation of an altogether _different_ sort was taking place. Sugarlump Plumly had gotten out of the bath and walked straight into a pack of soldiers, finding her hideout swarming with them. She'd been careful. She'd been sneaking and slipping around town ever since her last ugly meeting with the Princess. She didn't want anything to do with the powers of Ooo. Her mind, her heart, and her soul were focused on one thing with single-minded devotion. She wanted Finn the Human and Cherry Cream Soda to suffer. She wanted to hurt them as badly as she could before she killed the both of them.

She knew what this was about. She'd gone past her mandate. When she had a few dudes in the Candy Kingdom, she'd gotten tempted to take a swipe at her enemies as sort of a down-payment on what they owed her. She wanted to take from both of them something–someone–they dearly cared about. She'd been trying to get that fucking wood nymph for more than a year. It had been a frustrating, on-again, off-again effort as time and again her dudes muffed the job. She'd been toying with the idea of hiring a wizard to do the deed for her since the little cunt was so fast on the draw. When the egghead from the Wildberry Kingdom Science Academy fell into her lap after doing some very bad things to one of her prize hookers, she'd thought she hit the jackpot. And still her dudes muffed the job. They'd pussied-out when they saw Star Mertens coming and triggered the bomb too soon.

Standing naked in the middle of the bitch-queen's dungeon, shivering in the cold air, Sugarlump reflected on the price she'd made them pay. They'd gotten drugged to keep them alive a little longer. Then she'd slowly sliced them to pieces, one by one, starting down low and working her way up. Dashes of Cyclops Tears kept them alive until the end–though they were screaming and howling the whole way. She'd let them die too soon, she decided. They hadn't suffered enough. They'd fucked the pooch on this thing, and left her in a bad spot with the Royal Bitch.

Striding up in her dainty little shoes, the princess declared, "you exceeded your mandate..." Sugarlump glared at her. "I'm starting to think I can't trust you," burbled Wildberry. "...that maybe I shouldn't have spared your life..." Sugarlump only glared at her for answer. Three of the guards raises spears, preparatory to running her through. It took only the barest touch of that chill steel for the evil bitch to repent. "Wait," she gasped. Wildberry signaled the guards to stop. "She's their top agent," hissed the crime boss. "I thought it would please you to cripple them that way." "I'm listening," muttered the Princess. "Star is their errand-girl," said Sugarlump. "So this wasn't about revenge," growled the Princess? Sugarlump rattled to a stop.

"Alright," muttered the Princess. "You get to live. Don't try my patience by going off on your own again." Motioning to the guards behind her, she said, "my new friend will keep you on topic." As she spoke, a tall, buxom blonde from Warrior Kingdom came strolling in. "Marjorie," announced Wildberry. "This is Sugarlump Plumly. She's my dog." Turning to the crime boss, the princess said, "I've decided that they're all too firmly entrenched in the Candy Kingdom. Now that you've wasted the few assets there, it'll take too long to get established. Instead, I intend to contest control of Warrior Kingdom. I'll keep Baron Elftmann in check. He needs my backing to secure his position as Prince of the Warrior Kingdom. Your job is to take control of the underworld from that cunt, Cherry." The Princess turned to go, telling the two gangsters, "get acquainted. You'll be working together."

When she'd gone, Marjorie turned to the guards and said, "give her her clothes back. I'm not taking her out of here naked, no matter how many of you get your jollies from that." One of the hostile guards went out and returned with a bundle of clothes. Marjorie dismissed the pack of them and motioned for the other woman to get dressed. As Sugarlump squeezed her round little ass into a pair of tight little panties, the older woman said, "so you have wood-nymph blood..." The berry-person glared at her. Chuckling, the older woman opined, "doesn't matter to me. We're kind of on the same side. Cherry bitch and her boy-toy owe us both..." Sugarlump stopped in the middle of hitching on her mini-skirt.

Coolly, Marjorie introduced herself as, "Marjorie Erickson. My husband was top dog in the Erickson Crime Syndicate..." "Those were the dudes who ran Warrior Kingdom," burbled Sugarlump! "Were," muttered Marjorie. "Until that cunt sicced her dog on my man." Handing the plum-girl her blouse, Marjorie said, "c'mon. We'll have a couple glasses of wine and talk. I know some place we won't be bothered."

With Sugarlump dressed, the pair headed out. Marjorie had a car waiting on them outside, and when the two climbed in the back and settled themselves, the driver set out. "Half your men are secretly hers," rumbled Marjorie as the driver took the turns. Sugarlump's head whipped around. "They sold you out to save their own skins. While you were locked up, she basically had half the underworld arrested. Really, I'm almost surprised she stopped there. I figured she'd kill all of you."

The younger woman spat curses. "No point in retaliating," said Marjorie. "They're frightened... Simply doing what they could to survive. Now you need to do what you need to do." "And that is," growled Sugarlump? "Deliver," retorted Marjorie. "She's got her hand all through your organization. It'll take you _years_ to root out all her spies. If you want to live to see revenge, play along." Sugarlump sighed heavily. "Alright," she said. "What're we doing?" "Right now," replied Marjorie? "Talking. We need to get to know each other, figure out what you know that I don't and what I know that you don't. Then we can figure out what we're doing from here."

As the two crime bosses headed out to gather up what power they could, Suadela Galitsis was in the process of gathering power of her own. She'd scoured the empty miles between the kingdoms for sign of others of her kind, and she had dispatched messengers singly and in pairs to track down all she could find. After weeks of fruitless wandering and searching, she finally had her result. There were forty-five of them. There were just forty-five left with the handful that had come from Purple Kingdom. There were only two-score left to carry on a movement that seemingly died with their creator. Suadela would have wept if she had eyes to cry with anymore. Frustration and rage threatened to overwhelm the fallen Royal. They had failed with scores more soldiers. What where they going to do with just forty?

One thing was certain. Those forty were antsy. They were anxious about this gathering for a number of reasons. The cowards–those who's pathetic spirits had survived the transformation–wanted to run and hide. They would have gone back down into the deepest, darkest caves to hide from the creature who was destroying them. There were a large number with that desire. Others wanted to go out in a blaze of glory–killing as many as they could. Piccolo had been chief among that faction. He had suggested they just start walking from town to town, emptying the countryside of the living. That would be certain to attract the catastrophic attention of their pursuer, but so what? He/it was killing them anyway. What difference did it make?

Suadela agreed with him on the ultimate goal. That was the only thing that kept her from seeking to do him in. She wanted to kill, but she wanted it to matter. What good was it to empty a few villages when she could end the world? That was what she wanted. She wanted to make every living thing suffer as she'd been made to suffer. She wanted to end the world in an orgy of violence and torture. She had vague ideas about blighting crops and causing famine. She wanted to send the world cascading into starvation, with all the living killing each other over what little food she left to them. Then she and hers would swoop in and murder the remnant. That was the plan. And she had absolutely no ability to carry it out.

"We need more numbers," she muttered, almost to herself. Her lieutenant frowned and asked, "what do you mean?" Glaring at him, the former princess retorted, "what do you think I mean? I thought my words were plain enough. We need more of our kind. Right now, we're just a remnant, waiting to be put away and forgotten." The dead man glanced away. She'd scored there. Now she had to figure out how to accomplish the goal of raising their numbers and rally the troops to do it.

Meanwhile, Billy the Human stepped into the cramped little office that his wicked stepmother kept off his wife's dungeon to find the crime boss staring at a small piece of slate. So intent was she that she didn't even notice him come in. Standing in the doorway, the big man regarded her coolly. He had come to accept this. He accepted that his dad had decided to make this woman his wife. He didn't _like_ Cherry. He didn't like the fact that she had seduced JJ into following her down the rabbit-hole into evil. Even knowing what his wife was, he still blamed Cherry for a lot of her slide into darkness. When JJ needed help, Cherry was busy egging her on to commit ever more brazen crimes.

Fortunately, Cherry seemed to know just how ugly was the karma between them. Unlike with Star and Fionna, she never tried mothering him. It was a strange aspect of his life that his friends and even his lady failed to understand. He'd had more than one mother for seemingly his whole life. Simone and Emeraude Mertens tag-teamed the kids so neither ever really got tired or fed-up with the job of raising them. They took turns with the discipline so no child felt as though his or her mother was a cold-hearted asshole. Little had changed on that score except the fact that he now had _nine_ mothers. There were nine women in his dad's life who were ready, willing, and able to dive in head-first to try and look after Finn the Human's children.

"Thank-you for coming, Bill," Cherry said, as she put down the slate. Catching sight of the strange lettering there on the stone, he rumbled, "what's that?" "An ancient language," said Cherry, as she took off the pendant she'd been wearing. It was a gift from Star, and it allowed her to read other languages, much like the spell that Betty used. "That's the native tongue of the elementals," the crime boss explained. Now Billy snatched the piece of stone off the table between them, and he traced the stone with the tip of a finger. _Burned into the stone,_ he thought. _What does it mean?_

"You need to make preparations," said Cherry. "There are three hundred elemental soldiers in the foundry." Billy's jaw came open. "That's a third of their numbers," he gobbled. "Flint is playing us," Cherry replied. Frowning down at the slate, Billy asked, "how do you know this?" The little woman smiled that evil smile of hers, telling him everything he needed to know. He wouldn't have guessed her kind could lurk amongst Phoebe's people. Especially with the Flame King's edicts about truth. Billy put the slate down on the table, as his mind struggled with the enormity of what he'd just learned. Everything he had come to love was in danger. His eyes glanced up to hers.

"It's going to be ok, Bill," Cherry said. Her voice was soothing. "We're all in this together," she said. "We just need to hold Flint in check until we can return Phoebe to her throne." "And when will that be," growled Billy? He felt a surge of irritation both at Phoebe and, more importantly, at his dad. They'd been... _reckless_. Now his adopted people and his burgeoning little family might be paying the price of it. "I don't know," Cherry admitted. "Your brother's... not in the best health right now." Billy felt a chill go through him. Irritation forgotten, he leaned forward and demanded, "what does that mean?"

The crime boss gave vent to a heavy sigh, and, for a moment, she was _human_. For a moment, she wasn't the evil witch of the underworld–just a woman with two kids of her own who felt a lot of sympathy for another troubled woman. "We don't know," she admitted. "Even Bonnie's not entirely sure." "That's not good enough," rumbled Billy. "I want to know. What's going on with Cole? It's not just this kingdom. It's not just Flint. What's going on with my little brother?" "His powers, Bill," murmured Cherry. "They're more unstable than his mother's... It's... It could well be killing him. Bonnie's afraid he may just burn himself out some point."

Billy began to pace. Scrubbing his hands through his very-pale hair, the big man wore an expression of worry and anguish. The kids loved each other. No matter how bad things got–and no matter how... _complex_ things were with the various mothers–the kids had all vowed not to take it out on each other. None of them had _asked_ to be here after all. They were as tight a group of siblings as you might ever have found. Cherry was grateful for that. When she was trying to raise a son in a world that was already ugly enough before you threw in her ugly little life, and when she was knocked-up high as a kite with a second little boy and still completely unsure how she was going to _do_ this, she had a great need for positive examples for her kids.

Finn's children–the original six–were very good children indeed. Even Marshall the hellion was, deep inside, a very good man trying to claw his way out of the darkness he'd been born into. When you got to Star and Fionna and Billy, Cherry thought she didn't have to fear for how Van and Birch would grow up, no matter what happened to her. In an effort to steer things back to the previous thread, the little woman said, "Bonnie's working it, Bill. She's working it as hard as she can. She and Nadia are both spending every free moment they get..."

"Where's P-Bot," demanded Billy? "On the ice," Cherry replied. She could see what he was thinking. Nadia and Bonnie both had kingdoms to run. When they weren't about that, they had the Privy Council and its foibles to manage. And when they weren't doing that, there were the endless problems Penny and the Lich had left them. The android didn't have a kingdom to run, though, and she had the intellect to maybe figure out what was really going on with little Cole before it was too late.

Cherry pushed that aside, reminding him, "she's working on melting the ice, Bill. We need that ice pack gone ASAP." It was a pleasant half-truth. While the android woman _was_ working on thawing the ice, the full reality was a little more daunting. Things Betty had let slip before she and Finn departed for the ice suggested that the android-girl was more of an actual person than even Bonnie realized. Cherry didn't think they could count on her to remain with them forever. _She_ certainly wouldn't have put up with being bossed around by the likes of Bonnibel Bubblegum. Cherry thought Finn had the force of personality to compel Bonnie's doppelganger to hang around a little longer, but Finn was missing.

"I need to know that you can handle Flint's treachery, Bill," said Cherry. "The Council needs to know." "There's more of them," he demanded? Nodding, Cherry said, "rumors of it..." "What about Shoko," Bill asked? "She's not aware of anything right now," Cherry replied. "I'm still gathering facts on numbers and locations before we get her involved. Right now, though, _you_ are our first line of defense. I need to know that you can handle this." "Y-yeah," he babbled. His head was spinning right now, and he was a little overwhelmed. A part of him went back to anger at his dad. _Where the_ fuck _are you, dad,_ he thought?! When the world _needed_ Finn the Human, he was nowhere to be found.

 _Find your spine, kid,_ said a voice from inside him. He'd been hearing that nagging little voice a lot. Really, he'd been hearing it since the day his dad blew up a fair chunk of the Lich's ice-cap and the Ice-Crowns with it. He often _feared_ the source of that voice, but in the now, it gave him strength. Stronger, he turned to face her and said, "I can handle a hundred. I'll put surveillance in place, and I'll start on defenses. You'll have a report in a few days of what I know and what I've got ready." Sincerely, Cherry said, "thank-you. I've got to get home. Your cousin is shitting on Lollipop..."

Billy knew exactly which cousin she was talking about. There was no love lost between Billy and Kim Kil Whan. Kim still blamed Billy for JJ's death. As if Billy should have just let her murder him. "Give him a kick in the teeth for me," muttered Billy, as he turned to go. Chuckling, Cherry said, "I'm going to do far worse. I'm going to hit his precious wallet." Billy smiled as he walked out the door. That was just what he wanted to hear.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6:

She was a tiny little thing, standing maybe four-feet, nine inches tall in the high-heeled boots she was wearing. As the three men watched, she came strolling along in a heavy purple mantle, curvy hips wig-wagging back and forth with every step she took. Her lovely green eyes were hauntingly pretty, and they seemed to stare into the souls of each and every man she passed as she went up that road. More than one man earned himself an elbow or a slap as he stared just a moment too long, watching that cute little butt go by.

The little woman walked up to the mayor of the village and his chief of police and gave them a sunny smile. It was a strange encounter for such an unpleasant day. The three leaders of the community had been discussing the sudden, shocking blight that had afflicted their crops. Half their food was rotting in the field. The rest showed signs that it might die off too. The village was already on the ropes, having lost a substantial crop to a sudden spring snow-storm. Now the loss of a second crop threatened to starve them all. And the absolute last thing they needed was another mouth to feed, no matter how pretty.

"Hello," announced Suadela. The mayor grunted by way of reply. His eyes suggested that she should fuck off. They didn't have any time for this. Glancing around her, she said, "I'm going to make you an offer. You can take it, or you can starve to death. I don't care which you choose. Either suits my purpose just fine. You'll get one shot. I won't ask again, so if you value the lives of these miserable wretches, I'd accept straightaway. And, in case you doubt my power..." The little woman suddenly grabbed the burly police-chief's strong, right arm, causing the limb to wither to a shriveled mass of skin and bone in the blink of an eye, causing the head of the town council to all but leap behind the mayor in terror.

As the chief screamed in pain, shock, and horror, Suadela said, "I will take thirty-percent of the adults in the village. You can make them teens. You can make them elders. I really don't care. In exchange, I'll leave you the remnant of your crops and the lives of the remainder. Do we have a deal?" The terrified mayor swallowed hard. The police chief was still screaming, and every face nearby was staring at them. The little woman started counting. By the time she reached _five_ , the mayor was giving her all she wanted.

The business got organized over the course of an hour. At her signal, Suadela's confederates came down out of the hills surrounding the little hamlet wearing their less sinister shapes. By then, the mayor had gathered all his people on the town square and given them the ugly news. A third of them were going to be sacrificed to the evil creatures who'd decided to strike the town. And then the drawing of lots began. There were cries of outrage and suggestions that the village take up arms. That got quashed in short order as Suadela's lieutenant impaled himself on the wooden pitchfork of the loudest protestor–dissolving weapon and owner in one go. Nobody had stomach for a fight after that, and the ugly scene played itself out without further interruption.

One by one, the chosen drew their lots and were taken out of the crowd. One by one, they were tied into small groups and led away. One by one the people of the village were forcibly separated from their loved ones. Suadela stood watching the proceedings with a face utterly devoid of emotion. Inside, she seethed with delight and excitement. This was it. The first stage of her plan was underway and going rather well. Out of a village of two-hundred souls, she was taking more than sixty. They were going to more than double their numbers in short order.

 _Still have to change them,_ a nagging voice reminded her. It was the change that was the critical piece. It wasn't a certainty that a selectee would _change_. Some simply dissolved down to nothing as if they had been dropped in acid. Rage and despair mattered. Suadela knew from her own transformation that anger and hatred would be far more likely to result in a survivor than anything else.

When the last of the chosen had been shackled into line, the Dipped marched them out of there. The hapless victims were marched up into the surrounding hills above their former home. There were tears and muttered curses and shouted epithets as the victims vented their pain at their tormenters. Not that the undead showed the slightest bit of concern for any of it. Up in the hills and out of sight of the village, they even shed their disguises–all save Suadela–giving their soon-to-be brethren the awful realization of just who's hands they had fallen into. Once out of sight, they were brought up to lovers' overlook, where they could see some of the sights of their village. There they found a pack of heavily armed bandits waiting.

Assuming they were now to be sold for slaves, the men among them muttered curses, and the women wailed and did what they could to shelter the few youths among them. Not that bandits or undead wasted energy on their complaints. Instead, the awful woman who seemed to control the undead had them all shackled in neat, serried ranks before the cliffside where they could look down on their former home in despair of ever seeing it again. Meanwhile, she went to the lead bandit to transact the last bit of business for the day.

He was an ugly man. He was the sort of ruggedly _ugly_ that had made Suadela Galitsis's knees weak when she was alive. Tall, with a rangy build and an ocean of war-scars on his body, he reminded Suadela of her mother's favorite man-crush, Finn the Human. Alexia Galitsis had waxed maudlin and lusty often when she was in her cups. She'd talked about all the princesses who'd 'made out' with the young hero when she was in her teens, and she'd lamented missing having a chance of her own to get some lovin' from the boy-hero before he settled down with the Ice Queen.

On his side, the bandit chief had been giving the little woman the eye, thinking of how sweet it might have been to play hide-the-sausage with her. Twisted as he was, he liked the little ones like this. He liked to hear them squeal when he stuck them. He liked to see how flexible they were by twisting them up in all sorts of awkward positions while he was putting the blocks to them. And really, he'd been thinking of having his boys take out her friends so he could have a little bit of fun with the bitch whether she wanted to or not. At least he had been until he saw the undead. That gave him the idea that maybe she wasn't what she seemed. Maybe she was a wizard. Only a fool messed with a wizard.

Dropping the coins in the bandit's hands, the evil creature announced for all to hear, "kill all you can. If any survive until night, you can take them for slaves. Burn the village to the ground after." The bandit happily agreed. There were likely to be pretty girls down in the village who didn't come with a pack of undead trailing them. Wails of horror and dismay went up from the packed mass of soon-to-be-Dipped sitting there beside the cliff. As the men struggled with their chains and the women pleaded, the bandits marched off to do evil down in their old home.

Meanwhile, in the west, the Wolf Wizard stood scratching his head and muttering curses as he stared at the door from whence he'd just come. "I need the truth," rumbled his colleague. Which he kind of knew. She was knocked-up. She had gotten in a family-way by Finn the Human. _Man does he get a lot of pussy,_ thought the Wolf. Now Drew was in the same shape as the rest of them. "I can't break it, doc," Wolf rumbled. He'd been at it off and on all morning. He'd gotten here the night before, rested up, meditated, and spent a long, long while sharpening his senses and his skills. He'd gotten to the clinic early, set up his instruments, drawn protective circles for the patient and for himself, and been ready and raring to go when the first of the women arrived.

First out the gate had been the little boy, Jean. Wolf had asked mommy to play with the little fella, keeping him calm, while Wolf went through the very dangerous business of provoking a curse. He'd thought he was making progress at first, but the curse had been very stubborn. He'd moved on, reckoning that maybe he ought to try one of the others. That had seen him going through five women and a whole pile of kids.

On her side, Drew could tell when another doctor was seeing something he didn't really understand and was having trouble managing. "I thought you cured this in Van," she muttered. "Nope," said the witch-doctor. "Sealed it away." Frowning now, Drew asked, "what does that mean?" "It's quiescent," replied the wolf. "In remission," muttered Drew. "What's the odds that it'll come back?" "Depends," Wolf replied. "If he decides to take up the sword like his dad, eighty-percent. If he becomes a lawyer like his mammy, probably fifteen percent at worst."

Drew began to pace now. This man had been her hope. "I thought you understood this," she growled. It came out accusatory, but the witch doctor didn't hold it against her. "That fucking bastard was probably the best wizard in creation," the witch-doctor muttered. "I need help..." "What about the grass wizard," Drew asked? She had gone from relative calm to _concerned_ in a matter of mere moments. Wolf snorted, "we're amateurs compared to the Grand Master. Maybe the Ice King might have been able to remove it..." Drew frowned a moment. Then, turning for the door, she said, "wait here..." Puzzled, Wolf flippantly asked, "what? You gonna' dig ole' Simon up?" "Nope," retorted Drew. "Gonna' get his daughter."

It was over an hour later that Simone came walking into Drew's office with Emeraude in tow to find nearly all their fellows there. Only Marceline and her mother were missing. As her eyes took in the sight of the faces there, a shiver of embarrassment went through her. She was conflicted about this. A part of her was angry– _still_ angry–about how her life had turned. She was angry at her mother for dragging her off to Wizard City. She was angry at Finn for turning his back, and she was angry at these women for taking advantage. On the flip side, they were just like her–guilty of loving one of the finest men in creation. And, well, she'd fucked up. She'd abandoned her husband. More to the point, she'd been _dead_ for a year. What the fuck was Finn supposed to do? Be miserable the rest of his days?

"Hi," she murmured. Phoebe wasn't having any of that. Stepping forward, she wrapped her arms around Simone and hugged her. In moments, the pair were crying on each other, Phoebe accidentally burning her best friend, and Simone's icy tears freezing Phoebe's body. That was another change she was having to get used to. Her ice-powers were no longer completely under her control. She lost it when strong emotion got hold of her. She felt _broken_ somehow, and it was another reason she'd all but been a recluse these last few months. Seeing what they were doing to each other, Drew shoved the pair apart, risking burns of her own in the process.

Clucking to herself, the doctor went and got some salve. Dragging Simone over to the exam table, she made her sit down and then, after unfastening the blouse she was wearing, began daubing the tiny burns on her neck, shoulder, and back. "I-I'm sorry...," Phoebe burbled, but Bonnie shushed her. Calmly, the candy monarch began to explain why they'd asked Simone to come down. Her voice was soothing, and it helped both women get their seething emotions in check again. Simone was horrified to learn how far her husband's curse actually went. Much like Finn, she wanted to go dig up the Grand Master and shit on his corpse. Literally everybody she knew–the entirety of Finn's mad little family–was in deadly danger.

Drew had suspicions that it was the curse rather than her age that had caused Cherry to nearly miscarry little Van. She'd got her own little shock when she nearly got hit by a car and found herself on the far side of the street without knowing how she got there. Her unborn child had saved her– _their_ –bacon, and she suspected that little Van had reacted to his mother's continuing distress. Simone's eyes scanned the crowd, her face gone white with terror. She was looking at five women who might suddenly end up dead if they didn't get this thing under control. Now she had some idea what they wanted from her. There was just one problem. She wasn't really sure she could help them.

"I'm sorry," burbled Simone. Cherry frowned at her. "For what," she asked? "I'm... It's not like you're thinking," the Ice Queen replied. When the pack of them might have jumped Simone's ass, Emeraude came to her defense, reminding them, "Simone's not Simon. She's got pieces of his memories–whatever disjointed crap that fucking demon gave her when she was created. She's not going to be able to just whip up a cure for you in the blink of an eye."

Drew sighed heavily. That had been her last hope. Softly, Simone said, "I... it's not _hopeless_..." Bonnie glanced up at her. Flushing to her hair, Simone said, "I... I don't have any degree of _control_ over the things I remember. I... It's like watching a badly edited movie..." Voice showing sympathy, Cherry opined, "I'm sure it's not helping that Simon was crazy when he made those memories in the first place." That only served to deepen Simone's blush if only because that was very true.

"Right," said Drew, "so it'll be hypnosis..." "Not so fast, Drew," interrupted Bonnie. Her blue eyes locked with Simone's grey eyes, and she said, "that's very dangerous. Those... aren't Simone's memories. Remember what happened to Finn when we made him relive the body-snatcher's memories. I'm... not willing to risk Simone's life and sanity. Not for selfish reasons." The room erupted, with Lollipop and Drew squaring off on one side and Bonnie and Cherry taking the other. Phoebe and Emeraude did little to calm the conflict, taking one side or the other depending on what got said. Simone flinched at every hurled insult. They were coming apart. From peace, they were heading into devastating conflict.

"Stop," she pleaded! "Oh, please stop!" Every face swivelled towards hers. Face hot, Simone stared at her feet. "There're children involved in this," she sighed. "I... have to do this." Bonnie and Emeraude both asked her if she was sure about that. "No," chuckled the tall beauty. She gave them a sheepish smile. She knew the risks. Over the years, she had touched those memories less and less because of the way they made her feel. She'd focused on her own memories–those made with her husband, her friend, and their babies.

The wizard-woman climbed off the table, buttoning her damaged blouse as she did so. With a heavy sigh, she said, "there's one place we might find the information we need on the curse." Drew demanded, "lay it on me! Where?!" With a heavy sigh, Simone replied, "the Grand Master's personal library." Wolf laughed, "only the reigning Grand Master has access to that." With a sheepish chuckle, Simone admitted, "I sort of became the reigning Grand Master when my mom walked off the job."

Emeraude's head whipped around at that statement, and her face was utterly conflicted. It had taken days to get the story out of Simone about just what had upset her to the point where she completely missed a cop-car chasing her through the streets of the Candy Kingdom. When she finally spat the words out, Emeraude had been upset and miserable all over again. They'd... _quarreled_ about it. It was everything Emeraude was angry about. They'd followed Betty away from their home, their man, and their kids and pretty much ruined their lives in the process. They had a chance, however remote, of getting everything back. Both still hoped that, someday, Finn would get himself home again. But if Simone was going to go out and start that shit all over again...

Simone finished buttoning her blouse, saying, "we'll try the hypnosis. I'm not sure it's going to accomplish anything, but we'll try it..." That was really directed at Emeraude, though only they knew it. "Right," said Drew. "Come down tomorrow. I'll clear my appointments." Just now this was the most important thing in her life. Nadia said, "I'll be working it on my side. I've got people..." She had some of the finest minds on Ooo in her Kingdom. Turning to the Wolf, she said, "I'll pay your retainer fee for your assistance..." The wolf grinned his toothy grin. He wouldn't mind that in the least. If there were more girls built like _her_ in Grid-Face Kingdom, he'd be glad to follow her home.

With the decision made, Simone and Emeraude got on their way, leaving the rest of their mad family at the Candy Clinic. As the pair settled into Emeraude's truck, Simone drew on her seatbelts and waited for the explosion. Hand poised over the starter, Emeraude asked, "are we ever going to be home again?" Simone flushed. "I don't know," she murmured. Life had seemed a lot more simple when she was just trying to get the kids through high-school and launch them into their own lives. Now they had been through hell and back, lost their husband, and found themselves bound into an insane coven. There was a giant new crop of kids to raise and look after, and their husband was AWOL.

"Have you decided," Simone asked? The wood nymph wizard flinched. She'd been doing everything she could to hide that ugly news from Simone. Apparently she hadn't been as good as she'd hoped. Now she broke down crying. As Simone hugged her, she sobbed, "I don't know what to do! Glob, tell me what to do!" "I don't know either," Simone sniffled. She was lost without her father and Finn. They had been her two anchors, supporting her when she felt like she was going mad all over again. "I just want to be home," Emeraude sobbed. "I just want our life back... Just like it was."

Calming herself, Simone whispered, "we will be. I'm going to resign. I... As soon as we have what we need to save the kids, I'm going to get out from under that fucking worthless job." Straightening and staring straight ahead, the wood nymph said nothing. Simone knew what ailed her. It was the sense of responsibility Finn had infected her with. Taking her hand, Simone said, "this is always your home, Emeraude. We're your family, and we'll be here when you get home." Nodding uncertainly, the wood nymph started the truck, and they set out.

Late that same day, the former villagers found themselves in tears as they watched the last of their former home burn to the ground. They had sat, cold, hungry, and thirsty, on that spot for most of the day. They'd watched the whole ugly business, from beginning to end. The bandits had marched on the scene, swooping down on their home in the hundreds. The bandits had murdered men in the streets, snatched up women and children, and burned elders alive in their homes.

The witnesses had sat in the front row as the bandits enacted gruesome torture on men who resisted, castrating some, flaying others alive. Women and children both had been treated to rape in the very streets of the town. Anyone who'd tried to run had been corralled at the edge of town, tied to the fence around the pasture there, and slowly tortured to death, while the fiend that was the cause of all of this licked her lips and whispered words of delight to herself.

Some tried to turn away. As friends and family were murdered before their eyes, some tried to turn away or shut their eyes on those awful sights. The undead locked their heads into fiendish contraptions that forced them to stare straight ahead and even sewed their eyes open so they couldn't help but see what was going on. One of the terrible creatures even gave them a play by play of sights they couldn't quite see from their vantage.

All through that terrible day, Suadela Galitsis's hired killers slaughtered their way through the villagers, picking out those few who held some residual value and penning them on the edge of town for later sale as slaves. Then, as the sun began its descent towards the horizon, the leader of the bandit army grew tired of the business. He wanted to get out of this ugly, soon-to-be-haunted land. There were slaves to sell, after all. As the bandits marched out of town, herding captives ahead of them, the last few of their number torched the fields, burning the remnant of the crop to ash, guaranteeing that any survivors would soon die of starvation if the exposure didn't get them first.

Now, the woman who'd brought the evil into their lives came before them again, dragging one such hapless survivor by her collar. The bandits had brought the child to her, leaving the battered little girl in the evil creature's sadistic hands. She was beaten bloody and looked to have been assaulted. Standing before them, the Dipped declared, "there's nothing beautiful in life..." Padding back and forth before them, she told them, "there's no love. There's only filthy lust. There's no happiness. Just illusion. There's no hope. Only delusion. We're born into this world out of lust. We spend our lives suffering without any idea why. And then, in the midnight hour, we pass on and return to the soil. Life is prison–a living hell for those who try to make something more out of it. Now I grant this wretch early parole."

The foul creature turned to the child, then. Laying a hand on her once-pretty face, the Dipped began to age her. As the horrified villagers watched, the poor wretch's hair grew grey and stringy. Her skin became wrinkled and began to sag as the flesh hollowed out beneath it. A stink of decay arose around her as if she was already long dead. The poor child screamed at first. Horrifying screams left her lips until her lungs grew too withered and weak to support those wretched sounds. And then, as her brother watched, the light left the former child's eyes as she passed from the world and into the afterlife.

The undead woman smiled an evil smile at the villagers. Her dead eyes went from one to the other, and she smiled that ugly smile at them, her expression suggesting pleasure in that horrific deed. Some tried to glance away. Others stared defiantly at her. Those were likely survivors. They wanted to cause hurt and pain. They wanted someone else to feel what they'd felt. Those would be the first she would Dip. "Take them," rumbled Suadela. "Take them to the vats."

 **So where is Finn? Shit's getting real. Hopefully, the big man can get his butt home before everything he cares about goes to hell in a handbasket.**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7:

Hell had come to the little village in the form of screams and shouts in the night. Horrific keening and shouts of terror dragged the mayor of the village out of his sweet dreams. Life on the edge of the wastes had always been rough. This year was worse than all the others he'd experienced, with wild weather spoiling half the crop in the fields before it could be harvested and a long winter ahead of him and his people. They had been making preparations, best they could, for winter's cruelty.

The entire village had gotten turned out, with the young being put on the job of building corn-cribs and storage containers where the food could be stored and rationed. The children had gotten the job of rounding up every morsel and shucking every kernel. The women got the job of weather-proofing the village's huts and shacks, and the able-bodied men had gotten the job of going out into the wilderness to hunt up animals to kill, butcher, and smoke into jerky to get them through the cold months.

The folk of the village had received the word of the troubles in the world only very recently. The edict had gone out from the Hero of Ooo. Stuff you and Garnish you. The world was under siege from the Lich and his army from hell. Strapping on a sword, gathering up his bore-spear, and heading out into the night, the mayor was shocked to discover how very true that news was as he took in a scene from his nightmares.

The creatures looked like nothing more than blobs of inky darkness. There were over a dozen of them, and they were marching through the village, destroying homes and wrecking property as they went. Before his eyes, one of them touched a corn-crib, and the whole of the structure, which had only been finished that morning, became nothing more than punky, rotten wood in the blink of an eye. The mayor was astonished at the sight, and, for a long moment, he could scarcely believe he'd seen that. Worse was coming, though. Astonishment became horror when one of the creatures touched his neighbor's godson, dissolving the hapless boy down to nothing in the blink of an eye.

The mayor froze there a moment, terror filling his heart. How could they fight _that_? What were they going to do against creatures like that? Muscle memory and instinct kicked in as he saw a pair of the nightmare creatures converging on a pack of cowering youngsters. Rushing forward, he tried to cleave the creature's arm off. His sword sliced right through, doing nothing at all. The creature's malleable flesh simply flowed around his blade. "That wasn't very neighborly," said the creature, as it turned its eyeless face on him.

The mayor froze once more, and his life flashed before him. His son was out there in the forest somewhere, hunting up food. His grandchildren were here in the village with their mother. His wife was still inside their house. All of them were going to die! The creature raised it's oily, black fist to strike him. And then, suddenly, he and the kids were twenty feet away, back in front of his door. "How's this for neighborly," announced a sweet, female voice? A bolt of white-hot lightning blasted one of the creatures asunder, as the mayor turned to his right to find a beautiful woman standing there. She was dressed in the clothes of a traveler–rough denim under a worn sweater. "Inside, please," she said. The mayor and his wife hustled the kids in the door as the tall woman went off to deal with the second creature.

"Who the fuck are you," demanded the creature? "An enemy," declared Betty Mertens. Shouts were coming from the far side of the stock corrals, and some of them sounded like undead. "That's my hubby," chuckled Betty. "We've been hearing rumors... That maybe there's some more of you out there. Care to comment? No?" The creature was too busy trying to get away. Hunters. The stories of the hunters had gotten rather big. Piccolo hadn't believed them for a minute, but they provided the excuse he needed to break from Suadela. They'd been on their own these last weeks, doing just as their leader had said–killing the world, one humanoid at a time. The screaming and shouts grew louder, and some of them sounded simply awful. That horrendous clamor gave the undead pause, and he found himself backpedalling before the female as she moved towards him.

"You can't win," said Betty, as she backed the evil fiend up. "Tell us where the others are." The creature flailed at her, finding what many others had found. He couldn't touch her at all. "W-what...," stammered the fiend? "What are you?" "An ugly dream," Betty murmured. "Maybe a pretty nightmare. Doesn't matter. I want the location. Where're the rest?" The screaming was coming from the other side of the village now too. The noise was clearly coming from undead. "My stepson," Betty announced. "The Vampire King. He doesn't much like you guys either." The terrified undead backed up until he bumped into something solid and unyielding.

"Ice doesn't rot," said Betty, as she raised a hand that glowed with a burning light. "Tell me," she whispered as she sliced off a piece of that evil creature's oily black flesh. A shriek of horrific pain greeted that cruelty. "I used to feel sad about this," Betty confided as the unyielding ice enfolded the hapless undead, "but then I saw what you fuckers did to some children..." The beautiful, older woman channeled energy into the ice, causing it to come alive with light and sending the undead into paroxysms of agony. When the pain had subsided for the moment, the beautiful woman asked, "where are the others...?"

On the far side of the little town, the fiend known as Piccolo had been in the act of slaughtering an extended family, from the patriarch on down to the least of that clan, when the Hellknight came out of nowhere and destroyed three of his companions in short order. Now the two resolute foes faced each other over the fate of hundreds. "You're a nothing," snarled the undead! "You're worse than a nothing! You think you can hold back the sands of time...!" The knight chuckled, his voice sounding like the rumble of distant thunder. "And _you_ are a wounded _child_ ," he declared. "You know anger and rage, and you think that makes the universe. You see joy in others and liken it to empty mist because of its ephemeral nature. You _fear_ others' happiness."

"Happiness is a conceit of the mind," the undead snorted. "There is no happiness..." "Like the conceit in your soul," retorted the knight. "You dare think to understand the grand plan. You can't. You're too small to see it. All you really have is your anger at the hand dealt you..." Circling to his right, Piccolo sought the shadows there. He had seen how fast his foe was. He needed an edge to take him. The knight stood motionless, watching him, even as the pair continued to trade taunts.

"If I'm too small, you're an _ant_ ," snarled the undead. "An ant pretending that it can hold back the flood." "And you have the conceit of a drip masquerading to be an ocean," retorted the knight. "Think so," growled Piccolo? "When I'm done here, I'm going to find your family. I'm going to hunt down everything you love. I'm going to slowly kill them all. I'll use the wasting curse on them. They'll see the tide of _years_ in the blink of an eye." The knight laughed his booming laugh, which was somehow more disturbing than his cold commentary. It was as though he had heard all this, and long ago decided that it was a joke and utterly laughable. As Piccolo rained curses on him, the knight merely replied, "you're the sad and pathetic relic of a fool who thought he was changing the world."

The undead attacked then, probing at his foe's steel armor, seeking a way inside to the man he knew must lay underneath. The knight deflected his attack with ease, bashing him in the face for good measure–something that shouldn't even have been possible. Was this _thing_ toying with him? The circling began anew as the Dipped searched his mind for a way out of this. In a bid to distract him, the undead chieftain growled, "your fucking whore of a mother raised you well. You're just as deluded and irrational as these others." Gesturing, he indicated the heaps of putrified muck that had once been living people.

"Mortality has taken a strong hand in the world," admitted the knight. "He's thrived on the evil that we do to each other–evil I perpetrated with my own hands–but Death is not King of Ooo." "You're just another goat-fucking peasant, somehow jumped up to some sort of power," growled Piccolo. You've won this round, but I'll win the war." "Your master burned the world while trying to save it," replied the knight. "He looked down on elites and intellectuals, saying that they had brought untold pain and suffering on everyone. Sad thing is that he never realized the truth. He'd become the very thing he hated. In the end, all he managed to do was to burn the world and bring destruction. You're no more a part of the natural order than he was, and you're sadly deluded if you really bought his bullshit about ending suffering."

"Fuck you," growled Piccolo. Coolly, the knight said, "he killed hundreds of men and women trying to be a hero, and he couldn't quite handle that. He put the world on course for the Mushroom War. Then he murdered you in cold blood and tried to convince you that he was giving you a chance at something noble... He was the worst kind of liar. He lied to himself. Now you're doing the _exact same thing_."

The fight was on then. The undead feinted and struck at the knight, who calmly turned his blows with the terrible armor he wore even as he tried to skewer the undead with his terrible sword. When the undead fiend realized just how overmatched he was, he turned to the remnant of the family, cowering on the side of the street. Just as the knight had expected, he rushed them–to use as hostages or just to murder, the knight knew not. In any event, the towering knight was in front of him in the blink of an eye, and Piccolo all but impaled himself on the knight's demonic sword. "You think you know so much," growled the evil fiend! "No," sighed the knight. "I think I'm man enough to know that I _don't_ know and to be glad of every day I have. You took refuge in evil when your life was taken, and that's almost as great a sin as the Lich's. Goodbye."

"You're using bigger and bigger words every day," declared Marshall Lee as he dropped out of the sky. The knight said nothing about the fact that the youth had been listening. Sheathing his sword, he regarded the cowering family with pity. They hadn't been fast enough in catching up to the runners. His little band had been playing cat-and-mouse with these for _weeks_ , slaughtering little bands they came across in the course of the hunt. This pack had eluded them again and again and again. Now it was over, and the worst of them were dead. "They're dead," said the knight, in his terrible voice. "Go and see to your livestock and food supply." Without a further word, he marched off in the direction Betty had gone.

The Hellknight and the Vampire King found the wizard standing in the street, talking to the mayor of the town. "You may thank Finn the Human," said the mayor. "We're eternally grateful for his efforts to safeguard the weak of Ooo. We'd heard about the wild weather coming our way, but we'd no idea about... _these_." "Finn's been doing his best against them," said Betty. "He'd love to have been here, but the Lich left a lot of these creatures plaguing the world." "I do understand," said the mayor. "I'm afraid we don't have much for accommodations for you and your companions, but you could stay in one of the barns..." "We'll be fine," said Betty, "but thanks..."

The trio walked into the darkness, leaving the villagers to clean up the mess and try to deal with the wrack and ruin the undead had left in their lives. For a long, long while, nothing got said. Marshall thought they made a mad little family–all three with their problems and issues. Fact was that none of them was doing well with this. He wanted to go home, and he was pondering just how to convince the other two to agree. "Well," he said, "that's another dozen down. What're we up to now?" "Three-hundred and eighty-two," Betty replied with touches of humor in her tone. She was, strangely enough, the comic-relief that kept them sane. Betty, who had been a hyper-serious wet-blanket for most of her life was the dash of humor that kept them all from going a little bit mad.

As they walked, she said, "I was able to question one of them." She had her companions' undivided attention now. "Asked him if it was true about the gathering," she said. "He'd heard rumors of it, but he also thought all the other groups were dead." She let that sink in a minute. Turning to the knight, Marshall rumbled, "does this mean we're done?" Their leader didn't say a word. Marshall turned back to the trail. He hoped the old man was thinking about this. He wanted to go home. He wanted to see Connie.

They were almost at the camp when the collapse came. One minute Betty was strolling along–really waddling like the nasty, pregnant, mommy-machine she was. The next she had stumbled, and her knees were buckling. Marshall swooped and caught her before she went down, hauling her back to her feet. His eyes flicked to the knight, who stood frozen there on the trail. Then he picked his stepmom up and set off, flying, back to the rough camp, leaving the knight to catch up.

Marshall Lee had the pregnant woman seated on a log and sipping at a warm mug of herbal tea when the knight finally caught up to them. The tall figure stopped there at the edge of the camp the same way he always did. It seemed to get no easier to shed the weight of evil that hung on him. He hadn't been built for that–not even like Marshall–and each day was a struggle. The young man's eyes flicked to his stepmom. He didn't really have the capacity to welcome his father into the camp. Only Betty could do that. Rising, Betty stumbled across to the towering figure, reaching out to him as she approached.

Her hands caught hold of the heavy, black helmet, her eyes wet with tears that she hadn't yet managed to shed. They stood that way a long few minutes, with Betty staring into the darkness inside the helmet. Finally, the tall figure was able to move once more. One step. Two. The big man stepped across the boundary and rejoined them in the land of the living. Marshall was figuratively on his feet now. It was always this way. Both wife and son lived with an unspoken terror that someday the big man would walk into the dark and fail to come back. Turning to face her stepson, Betty tried out a smile on the younger man, saying, "we'll be fine, Marshall. I... just want to talk to your father for a few minutes. You understand." Marshall nodded. He had to make the delivery anyway. Gathering up the Dybbuk-Box, the Goth boy turned towards the west and began to fly, floating up into the sky.

The knight rumbled, "are you well?" "Just tired, honey," Betty replied. Even behind the ugly mask, she could see the concern and the love in his eyes. Not for the hundredth time she reflected on how wise her late husband had been. He'd left her in _very_ capable hands. Of course even Finn couldn't do much with her current condition. She was physically forty-one. She wasn't aging. She hadn't aged since taking up the power of a wizard. Still, she was middle-aged. Being six months gone with a baby in her belly was taking a lot out of her, and there was nothing her beautiful hubby could do about that–at least nothing she would have agreed to.

In any event, he needed her. Reaching deep inside herself, she gathered the strength she needed, and she drew that ugly helmet from his head, freeing him, for the moment, from the ugly mantle he'd taken up. He released a long, breathy sigh then–like the weight of the world had been taken off his back. Betty set the helmet aside, waiting. It was taking longer and longer now. Hell was taking longer and longer each time to let go of her husband. Marceline's gift was as much of a curse as the one that infected their child. Finally, the ugly black armor left them, boiling away like oily black smoke.

Finn embraced Betty, holding her close. Like every other man she had met over her strangely extended life, he seemed incapable of tears. But that was the nature of man. That was 'the deal' as he had put it. She had come to accept his foibles and hangups. She did plenty of crying for both of them. Finn didn't begrudge her those irrational moments when she was shouting or cussing at him. He waited and listened while she got the emotion out of her system. Then they'd talk. It was a system that worked for the man's man and the recovering feminist.

Breaking that embrace, Betty went and put the helmet aside. Finn followed her as she went to the log where she'd sat when they made camp. "You're having spells again," he murmured. Betty nodded. "A little," she said. "I overdid it when I was questioning that Dipped..." Which was her way of saying they didn't need to go over old ground. He'd been pushing her to return to the Candy Kingdom since the day he realized she was pregnant. He always made the same arguments. She should be home where she'd be taken care of. She was risking her life and the baby's life. He and Marshall could handle this without her.

He had a hundred reasons all lined up, neat and tidy, for sending her home. All those reasons reckoned without one simple truth. She was truly lost without him. She needed him as the air she breathed, and she was going to be there standing at his side until she could no longer stand. In the now, he made her sit down while he got her some more tea. Marshall had gotten the tea in one of the nameless villages they had saved. It helped her cope with the stress she was putting on her body. Settling onto the log beside her Finn sat there brooding a long few moments, as he stared into the fire. He did a surprising amount of that, and some days she feared he'd never again be the happy-go-lucky man he'd once seemed to be to her eyes.

There were moments she ernestly _missed_ that man. She was part and parcel of the change that had been wrought on him, and it was one more of those things she _hated_ about herself. She had taken what was good and wholesome and turned it on its head. She'd precipitated a lot of the situation they found themselves in. Still, she'd learned one other thing from her man. _No regrets, Betty,_ she told herself time and time again. She didn't regret the turns her life had taken. There were certainly directions that were a lot worse. She'd lost her first husband and nearly lost her daughter, but they'd managed to save the world. They'd snatched victory from the jaws of defeat and literally stuffed the Lich down the pipe to hell.

Stroking Finn's back, Betty Mertens asked, "what're you thinking about?" Just as he always did, the big man gave her the truth. Softly, Finn said, "thinking that a pregnant woman in her second trimester needs prenatal care..." Betty chuckled as much from the kick she got from his suddenly-expanded vocabulary as from what he had to say. She'd been ducking that. She was six months in, and she hadn't seen the doctor once. They had been on this road since defeating the Lich. They'd been mopping up Yuri's undead the whole time.

"Alright," she said. "We'll start for home tomorrow." He certainly had plenty of _other reasons_ for getting back home. Just as expected, Finn balked. "Babe," said Betty, "you can't keep putting this off." He gave her that unhappy little boy frown of his. As always, Betty disarmed him with a demur kiss. Stroking his face, she reminded him, "I go where you go, babe. 'Til death do us part..." With a heavy sigh, Finn agreed, "ok..."

It was the culmination of months of often passionate argument. All three had expressed the desire to turn back at one point in time or another, though with Finn it was usually with the mind of protecting his wife or son. It was never about his fears or sadness at missing time with the others. Freed from the ignorant bleatings about 'toxic masculinity' that she'd been raised with, Betty had learned to find other ways to help her man manage the pain he tried so hard to hide. She tried to make him feel appreciated the way she hadn't with Simon or her son.

She'd had moments of doubt where she questioned the path she'd taken. Now she felt richly rewarded for sticking it out. Tomorrow they would set out for home. They were well down on the numbers of Dipped anyway. It was becoming rather hard to find them. She knew Finn didn't want to leave any piece of the Lich in the world to plague them. He didn't want anything or anyone trying to free their foe. Honestly, Betty knew he was right. She'd experienced the dangers of the Lich's 'remnants' first hand. Still, after grinding through this nonstop marathon, it was well past time for them to be going home. There were _matters_ to attend to there with her fellows. _But that's for tomorrow,_ she decided.

Taking his hand, she lay her head on his shoulder. Momentarily, he had his arm about her swollen middle. He didn't hold back his love anymore. The awkward moments were mostly gone, and both of them had long since quit worrying about what Simon thought. Now they lived in the moment, enjoying what they had, knowing how easily it could be snatched away.

Late that night, Marshall Lee Abadeer walked up to his mom's place and knocked on the door. He waited patiently for his mother, his mind far away. He'd never _missed_ someone before. He'd never hungered for the sound of someone's voice. He'd known lust. He wasn't sure if it was being exposed to his mother's amorous antics at an early age or if it was a hunger inherent to being a vampire. He'd been a lusty jerk, always scheming on getting pussy one way or another.

This was different, though. Connie was pretty, but she wasn't the prettiest girl he'd ever screwed. She was uptight sometimes, and she could seriously get on his nerves. When he looked back on their relationship, brief as it was, she'd spent as much time nagging him about wanting to get hitched as fucking him. But Marshall Lee Abadeer hungered for the sight of Constance Leyton. He needed to hear her voice. He wasn't sure if this was love, but he aimed to find out.

As he was pondering that, the light came on in his mom's place, and the woman herself came to the door. Almost before the door was open, the younger man was floating through. As his mom shut the door, he took a good look around him. The house was the same as it had always been. Strangely enough, Marceline Abadeer, Princess of Darkness, was a neat-freak. Maybe it was a girl-thing. His father had suggested it was, and Marshall thought the big man ought to know. He was porkin' enough of them.

His momma hugged him and kissed his cheek just as she used to when he was a little boy, and he found himself remembering, for a moment, the way things had been in the early days. Those were the good days–the good memories–that kept him going while he was chasing down the sick-fucks the Lich had unleashed on the world. Marshall wrapped his arms around his mom and hugged her gingerly. Marceline was a little startled at the feel of tears falling on her shoulder.

Turning around, Marshall stared at the old and decrepit drum set in the corner. Simon had given him that when he was nine. The tall man floated over to it, and his hands caressed the worn surface. "I'm... glad you didn't throw it away," he rumbled. Turning to face his mom, his face gone cold and distant, he opined, "it's really all we've got left of him, isn't it?" "For now," Marceline allowed. Marshall snorted, "you're the Princess of Darkness. You're not allowed into Dead World, mom. And me... I'm... never going to die." The way he said that made her flinch minutely. She knew that pain because she'd _lived_ it. "We never had that jam session," said Marshall. "I... kind of wish I hadn't been such a dick. I really, really wish I'd been able to play with him... with all four of us together." Smiling, he added, "even if my dad is a dork who can't carry a tune in a bucket."

Marceline nodded, but her mind was on changing the subject. That was what Finn always did when she was feeling like her son felt now. "How's your dad," she asked? "He's ok," muttered Marshall distractedly. His hands were holding the well-worn drumsticks. "How're my girls," the youth asked in response? Marceline chuckled, " _active_. Really, really active." "Can't wait to meet them," Marshall replied. "Probably be jerks like their older brother," opined the Princess of Darkness. "Or maybe they'll be really beautiful," said Marshall. "Like their mom."

Blushing, Marceline glanced away. There was a delivery to get made, and they both knew it. Underneath the beauty was something really unpleasant. Marshall Lee handed her the Dybbuk-Box, and the Princess of Darkness opened it, consuming the dark souls inside before handing it back. Marshall tucked the box under his arm. It was time to go and get back to his dad. Before he got more than a few feet, his mother announced, "Connie called." She'd been debating telling him this, but lieing had gotten her into a lot of trouble with her son. Having made the same awful mistakes her father made, she wanted things to be better between them. She didn't want to take a few hundred years to fix things.

Marshall whirled about. His mother was staring at the floor. "I'm concerned, Marshall," she said. "I think you should go get straight with her. Whatever happened... whatever's between you, you should go and work it out, ok?" Nodding solemnly, he said, "guess we both gotta' do better, huh?" When she looked up at him, he was smiling. His eyes said that he understood why she felt the way she felt. Marshall gave his mom a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Then he headed out to meet up with his dad and stepmom.

Miles away, Fionna Mertens climbed out of the cab at the bottom of her parents' driveway. The fat gumball behind the wheel showed just how spry he still was, as he leaped out of his seat, popped the trunk, and gathered up the tall woman's bags. In short order, he was leading the way up the driveway as Fionna took the last leg of her journey. Lina herself had flown the bad bunny back to the mainland, dropping her in Muscle Kingdom with a few hundred miles to go inland to reach home at last. Fionna had been happy to be back home, even if the weather didn't seem to have appreciably improved. Then she'd proceeded to hitchhike and hop rides on the train across the civilized kingdoms until she'd finally landed in the Candy Kingdom at last.

It was late when she got her bags at the claim counter, and she'd briefly considered simply crashing at Beemo's arcade for the night. Having essentially worked for free for more than a year–with no dungeons to bash or bandits to smash for reward money–she and Patrick were effectively broke. Fortunately she'd had just enough money–borrowed from friends–to make it to her parents' place. The lights were on, which was a blessing. She'd honestly feared her moms would be gone, just like her dad had been. Paying the cabby, Fionna turned and knocked on the door. She'd lost her keys so long ago, she couldn't have told when it happened. Now she hoped somebody was awake to let her in. Otherwise she'd be counting on Beemo to climb in and unlock the door.

It took a fair bit for someone to come, and while she waited, she looked around her. Her mom's truck was gone, but Emeraude's was here. That made her briefly wonder what her mom was doing, but suddenly that question was mooted by the opening of the door. Two faces stared back at Fionna from the opening. Then two pairs of hands grabbed her and snatched her inside, slamming the door in Beemo's face. "Great," muttered the video game bot. Inside the house, both mothers tried briefly to hug the stuffing out of the blonde bunny–at least until they remembered what that stuffing currently contained. As they let go, Fionna was able to wheeze out, "Beemo... luggage..." Simone got the door opened again, and Emeraude grabbed the bags. Beemo was able to slip inside before the door got shut again.

In short order, Fionna was on the lumpy couch, trying to explain what had been going on, while Simone went in and out of her old room, belatedly sweeping, dusting, and pulling together bedding. Emeraude got her some herbal tea and her slippers, and took her boots back down the stairs to the entry. All the fussing made the blonde girl giddy. Only problem was that there wasn't sign the first of her dad, and that was worrisome. Marceline knew where he was, and Fionna was tempted to go square off with the old bitch and demand answers. In the now, she put her moms off by pointing out how long she'd been on the road. That put both of them on the job of getting her room ready, and, just twenty minutes after her arrival, Fionna was sliding between the sheets to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8:

"But mom," Fionna complained, "I just got home!" "Which is precisely why you need to go, Fionna," her mother retorted. Emeraude's implacable expression showed she would get no support there. In a voice that was calmer and steadier than she felt, Simone Mertens told her daughter, "your father, bless him, would have put you over his shoulder and _carried_ you. Don't make me get physical with you, young lady." Fionna smirked at her mom in a way that suggested that she could handle any _physical_ her mom could throw her way. Then a stinging jolt to her butt reminded the pretty blonde that she had _two_ moms. Since the pair looked like they might get violent, she went along to get along.

Riding along through mid-morning traffic, Fionna did her best to hold up her end of the conversation even as she stared out the window, trying to absorb every subtle change in her old stomping grounds. There had been a whole lot of change, and Fionna found herself wondering what her hubby would have thought. He was due back in just days, and he was planning to head to his parents' place, look in on things and get the house livable. He was planning on them moving back in there just as they had before the Lich was freed. It would at least be a start until his mom got back.

They found a very pregnant Dr. Princess going over her notes on Cole. The good doctor had been swamped by Finn the Human's one-man baby-boom. She was working over time keeping up with the mothers, their babies, and the glorious _complications_. And now she had Fionna to look after too. _Two generations,_ she thought as she realized that she too wanted to dig up the grand master and defecate/desecrate on his corpse. Of course anger scarcely helped. Instead of fuming, she got down to the job of checking Fionna over. After all, she'd had little opportunity since the whole crew went to battle the Lich.

The pretty blonde gave what felt like a gallon of blood. The nurses took samples of seemingly every body fluid she had. They looked up her nose. They looked down her throat. They even poked and prodded her nether regions. The good doctor spent close to twenty minutes just listening to her heart! The only pleasant part of the business was the ultrasound, where she got a good look at Mona for the first time. Her little angel looked so _cute_! The proud grammies were practically fighting each other for a look at the machine. Of course then came the downer.

With Fionna laid out on her back on the exam table, the notorious Huntress Wizard laid out her working gear and did an examination of her own. Running the various wands and dousing rods across the pretty blonde's belly, Emeraude Mertens went from cheerful to somber in the course of just seven minutes. It was the most radical change Simone had ever seen. The wood nymph went stalking across to the wall, and Drew had to stop her before she put her fist through it. "Guess Mona's got it too, huh," burbled the blonde girl. Blinking back tears, Emeraude nodded. She'd been in her truck twice this week, headed for wizard city to bust open the tomb and drag the old man's corpse out. Not that it would have gotten them anything but grief. It just would have felt sooo good.

Fionna climbed down from the exam table, turned to her mom, and said, "well, if worse comes to worst, I'll go get her a crystal sword too." And that, for Fionna, seemed to be that. She was so much like her dad–just bulling her way through life and not giving two fucks about odds and others' hangups. Without a word, she began climbing back into her clothes, happy and cheerful as if she hadn't just been told her baby was under a death sentence. When she had her clothes on, the leggy blonde announced, "since we're here, I'm'a go see my bro." And she set off just like that, leaving the others to catch up.

Phoebe was at the window, staring out at a world that seemed to be out of reach, when the door to her room opened. A glimpse of pale hair and skin out the corner of her eye, had her spinning around, calling out to her best friend. She was startled to find Fionna there instead of Simone. "Fionna," burbled the Flame King. "When did you...?" "Last night," burbled Fi, as she made a bee-line for the crib in the corner. "Fionna," Phoebe howled! "What're you...?!" Before the Flame King could say a word, Fionna had picked up the little guy in the crib. "Ooooh," burbled the pretty blonde. "He's so cute! Who's the cute boy?! You are! Yes, you are!" Phoebe simply _stared_ at her. That shouldn't have been possible.

The little boy giggled happily as his big sister tickled his belly. That was how Simone found the three of them. Fionna playing with little Cole and tickling him, and Phoebe staring in shock. Drew was across the room in three strides, shouting at the blonde girl to put the little fellow down. Fionna snorted. "He's my bro," she retorted! "I'm not gonna' hurt him, or nothing!" Grinning at the little guy's sweet, cherubic face, she said, "I think maybe he needs a new diaper..." Phoebe blushed. Cole was often a little flatulent. Casting about her, Fi said, "where you keep his stuff, anyway? Might as well get used to changing a baby..."

Simone firmly told her daughter, "Fionna. That's enough. What you're doing is very dangerous..." "Huh," babbled Fi? "Why? He's my little brother! I kinda' like him!" And that was the moment when the little fellow had one of his _episodes_. One moment, he was a cute little boy, giggling and belching steam in his big sister's face. The next, he was a molten glob, threatening to dribble through the floor. Phoebe and Simone ran straight into each other in their haste to get to their kids. Calmly, Fionna encapsulated him in a casket of pinkish crystal. "Wow," she burbled. "Got kinda' hot there."

"How the fuck did you do that," growled Emeraude, as she snatched the crystal casket from her stepdaughter's fingers? With a shrug, Fionna replied, "I can do stuff. The crystals talk to me. You should pro'lly put him down. The bowl's not permanent..." The wood nymph wizard rushed to return Cole to his life-sustaining crib. After a long few minutes–time that seemed like an agonizing eternity to Fionna–the little fellow returned to his normal shape. "Wow," she burbled. "He do that a lot?" "Too much," muttered Simone as she looked over her damaged blouse. That was the second one Phoebe had singed in a week. "Sorry," murmured a sheepish Flame King. Simone merely gave her a smile.

"Guess we should work on this curse thing," sighed Fionna. "That doesn't look healthy for him." Emeraude frowned at her, asking, "what did you just say?" She sounded angry–a lot like she was going to tear the blonde girl's head off. With a shrug, Fionna replied, "we should get the curse off of my little brother before it kills him. Where's Dr. Wolf, anyway?" With a heavy sigh, her birth-mom admitted, "he can't fix this, Fionna. Turns out the only people successfully cured–if you can even call it that–are you and your dad. Even Van's curse is only locked away inside him."

Phoebe, who was now at the crib with her son, was staring intently at Fionna, and the gears were now turning in her mind. It made sense now. Cole's problems all made sense in light of the curse. Between Cinnamon Bun's attempt to murder her baby and the fighting on the island, there had been a whole lot of shit that could have triggered little Cole's curse early. Fionna, who'd only just arrived home, said, "then I guess I know what I have to do..." "W-what," stammered Phoebe? "You can't go on a quest! You're six months pregnant!"

Miles away, in the empty lands outside the capitol, Star sat down to brunch with her wicked stepmom. At her back stood her new 'appendage'. He was big, and he came heavily armed, and, best of all as far as Cherry was concerned, he wasn't one of Bonnie's fucking limp bananas. Staring around her at the sights of Burdette's Real Estate Fund, Star opined, "well this brings back memories..." The Scorcher had attacked her here. Her stepmom had hired the notorious hitman to whack her. It was one of the ironies of their joint _life_. Cherry was all business as she responded with, "I expected you to be in bed another week..." With a sigh, Star replied, "moms are driving me crazy..."

Resting her chin on her palm, her stepmom replied, "they're not able to be the same, Star. You never really get everything back..." Star flushed. She was complaining to the wrong person. Few understood loss as well as Cherry. "Listen," the older woman confided, "you're still their baby. With all that's gone on the last few years, they need the comfort of your presence in that house as much as you need them. You'll understand it more when you have your first child." Star blushed to her hair and quickly moved to push the conversation onward. She was still a little awkward with that.

"Whatcha' got," the wood-nymph wonder asked? "Small stuff," Cherry replied. "I've... pulled all my people from the yards." Which was news to Star. She had been going around and around in her head about that for a while. She knew that somebody was still selling smack to the spoiled brats at Toffee High, and she suspected there were similar problems at other schools. She'd been trying to sneak up on discussing this with her stepmother for weeks. Now, out of the blue, the conversation had come to her. As if reading her thoughts, the older woman murmured, "I'm... tied to this life, Star, but it doesn't have to make me a monster." Smiling for the first time since she'd gotten here, the older woman said, "a lesson from your father, I guess."

Nodding, Star said, "who're the guys who're still selling...?" Cherry shrugged and said, "I don't know. They're not locals. Their stuff's coming in from somewhere to the east. Everybody I've tried to ask ends up floating in the lake." Leaning back in her chair as she nibbled at a sandwich, Star thought about that. There were a lot of ugly coincidences floating around. "Next time you get a lead on somebody, let me handle it," said Star. "I'll pick them up. I'm kinda' curious about where this is coming from." Cherry nodded. Moving on, the older woman said, "there's a shipment coming in tomorrow. Two tons of Magic Fungus from the wastelands..." Star frowned at her stepmom. Was she...?

"...the men running it are known to me, and they've been warned about violations of the Rules," said Cherry. "They're the men responsible for the brawl on the east side three weeks ago. I'm out of patience. They're all yours." Star goggled at her stepmom, as she related every aspect of those men's lives and the operation they were running. Belatedly, she started writing it all down. When Cherry was done, she behaved as if she hadn't just turned in a pack of her dudes and left them twisting in the breeze. Instead, she wanted to talk about the Curse. Her mind was on getting Star tested again, just to be sure it was really gone. Star, having heard what was going on with Van and the other kids, was a little nervous herself. The older woman had a lot to say to her, and they ended up chatting an hour past the end of their little appointment. By the time she rolled out of there, the little wood-nymph was stuffed with food and feeling good.

It had been kind of a surreal experience. It was one thing to be sort of forced into an uneasy alliance when they were fighting the Lich. She hadn't really expected that to extend much past the bastard's well-deserved demise. Now she found herself strangely drawn into Cherry's orbit, and she really saw how her father had gotten sucked in. At the same time, Cherry was unrepentant about what she was, and Star would do well to remember that. _Can I separate the two halves,_ she thought? There was a lot of real affection there. She could almost dare to say that she _loved_ Cherry. _Momma did a whole lot of ugly too,_ thought the wizard-woman. As she sat down in the back of the borrowed Banana Guard truck, the little woman had cautiously decided to accept this on its merits and move on. She had thugs to bust.

Her driver had thoughts of his own. He was one of Fionna's strays. She'd come back from the Lich Containment with an eclectic group of Froyo Guards, Bananas, and even Muscle-dudes. Her driver, a mook out of muscle Kingdom, had been one such who'd decided to stick around. With Bonnie too busy to gin up more Bananas, those folk were becoming the backbone of the guard. "I don't think that creature is trustworthy," the big man opined. "My stepmom," Star replied? "She's not." Unfortunately that did nothing to quiet her shadow. As he put the car in gear, the big man asked, "isn't it dangerous to meet with such a creature...?" Star snorted, "the only _danger_ right now is that you'll make us late. Step on it!"

Her stepmom had given her something big and very important. She'd had a taste of how the underworld was _supposed_ to do business. Keep it quiet, and the only people who need to die are gangsters. Nobody else was supposed to get hurt. Those dipshits had decided to run amok and have a nasty fight with a rival crew in the middle of the street during rush-hour. Six civilians had gotten hurt in the clash, and two were still in intensive care. As the car tore out of there, Star was hit with an epiphany. She wasn't the only person _growing_ in all of this. In a way, Cherry was too. She was growing into the role of Princess of the Underworld. She was a Royal now, and she had to do things differently–to avoid upsetting the balance in the world.

 _I have to help,_ thought Star. There was always going to be crime, just as there would always be men and women who thought they could get what they wanted the quick-and-dirty way. The trick was to keep it from hurting people walking the straight-and-narrow. _Focus, Star,_ thought the wood-nymph wonder. _Focus on the men who're breaking the Rules. If we get them jailed or scared back onto the straight-and-narrow, we've won._

Back inside, Cherry was looking over a few reports with her own shadow in watchful attendance. She'd been afraid of how that would go. Now more than ever she was tied to Star. It was important that the things the world had asked them to be didn't interfere with what they needed to be for Van and each other. Of course thoughts of her stepdaughter brought other things to mind. Turning to her bodyguard, who'd been fuming all through lunch, the crime boss sternly told him, "I'd think about what you're doing, Thor. Star doesn't belong to you, and if you don't look out, you'll be alone. Now go and get the car. We have an appointment in town."

The big man was silent as he drove his master into town, but his mind was seething. He'd found out on the way home about his lady's _accident_. His master had told him about it, and he'd wanted to rush home fast as he could. He wanted to be there to look after his lady. Unfortunately it just wasn't an option. The woman he owed his loyalty to had a ferocious schedule to keep. Now, after all the worry, he found that fat fuck following Star around! He'd wanted to chop him into pieces. And he was still conflicted about asking her hand in marriage with his tainted name.

The big man's mind was still going in circles as they pulled up to the ice-skating rink on the northeast end of town. This was one of the places where his master did the ugly things she hid from her stepdaughter and husband. This was the place where he sacrificed slivers of his honor day by day. Pulling into the alley behind the ice-rink, the big man keyed the button on the dashboard and drove down into the loading area beneath the rear of the building. As the door shut behind them, he let his eyes adjust to the darkness. He'd been down in darkness for a long, unhappy four years now.

Just as he'd told his lady, he was a thug. He was a man who worked with his fists, and he wasn't really suited for much else. In the best of worlds, he would have had work protecting his homeland or building a world out of the nothing of the wilds. Instead, he was here doing unsavory things he really hated. Honestly, he'd been a little high on the joy of fighting against the Lich. He'd been part and parcel of the army that had taken down the greatest threat in all of creation. Unfortunately, it couldn't really last. He wasn't Star's husband, and he wasn't one of her father's soldiers. He belonged to this woman.

There were moments where he was happy with his master. She was better than some of the worthless dogs who'd hired him in the past. She never tried to trick him into throwing his life away. She treated him with respect, and she let him court her stepdaughter. At the same time, the Mafia Princess had an emptiness deep inside. Increasingly, he feared what that emptiness was going to do to him in the long run.

Pulling up to the loading dock in the basement, the big man shut down the car and hopped out to get the door for his master. Clambering out, the little woman scanned the area in her usual paranoid fashion, reminding him that he _wasn't_ Finn. He couldn't deflect a steel dart in the blink of an eye. He couldn't cut a man's heart out before the fellow had finished making his threat. It was another inadequacy. He made himself live with it. He did his best, using his senses and his wits to keep his mistress safe.

Thor led the way into the rumbling, thundering underground that provided chilled water to keep the ice above them cool. There were hundreds of people, ranging from parents and grandparents to children of six and seven years upstairs, all skating around and around the massive surface of the artificial pond. Down here in the underground, the rumble of machinery hid the unpleasant work that sometimes went on down here. This was where men who crossed the Princess of the Underworld often met their demise.

Thor's feet beat a tattoo on the heavy concrete floor as they went down the hall, passing rooms full of heavy machinery. Around them, water surged through pumps and up into pipes, circulating endlessly. The water was spiked liberally with a toxic gloop that smelled sweet but would kill you in minutes. That was the goop that kept the icy water from freezing, and it had once been used as a threat all by itself. One of the marks who'd been brought down here was served a glass and been told that he'd be made to drink it if he didn't cooperate. It was an ugly way to die, and the fellow had quite happily signed away his life after that offer.

As they approached the meeting room, Thor suddenly felt a tugging on his coat. His master had stopped right behind him. The years of living hard had taken some of her sanity and exchanged it for an intensely paranoid insight into the world. Thor got the message, and he eased his swords out. It was close quarters down here. Whoever was here wouldn't just be shooting them dead from range. Now, the big man slowly worked his way around the maze of piping ahead of them, taking an alternate route to the rendezvous. Cherry stalked along in his boot-tracks, having shed the high-heels she'd been wearing to raise her height. It took a while.

They came out of the maze opposite the usual entry to find the men who were supposed to be waiting here laying in pools of their own blood. The Mark who they were supposed to be bringing for a chat was nowhere in sight. "Someone talked," murmured Cherry. Someone had warned her little friend that she had taken an interest in what he was up to. Now she was going to have a much tougher time tracking him down. With a heavy sigh, Cherry said, "call Tubby. Mean-time, let's get out of here." A voice from the opposite side of the hallway announced, "you're not going anywhere." Four badged-Bananas came in from the opposite side, carrying guns and looking rather angry. "Sonofabitch," muttered Cherry. This wasn't going to endear her to either Star or Bonnie.

Late that night, Marshall Lee Abadeer dropped from the sky outside his mother's cave in giant-bat form. His father and stepmom slipped from his back in the cool darkness in front of the cave, as he transformed back to his normal shape. Standing there in the darkness, he regarded the pair wistfully. His mind, in spite of everything, was on the beat-up drumset in the living room. He'd had a father all these years and never really known it. He'd had father and granddad, and he'd treated both poorly. His mom, who'd lost her mother and grown up like a weed with no father to speak of, had been an emotionally compromised wreck when he came along. He could see echoes of it still in things she said in unguarded moments. If she was hostile and angry, she had reasons, while he had plenty of reasons not to be.

They'd spent the entire flight here talking. They'd talked quite a lot, with Finn trying to articulate what a man was supposed to be, with Betty moderating and really steering the conversation with pithy comments of her own. Strangely enough, the Vampire King had learned more about being a man in those few hours than he'd learned in nearly twenty years of living. He was going to go see Connie, and he was going to apologize for being a shit to her. He was going to ask her to forgive him, and he was going to try and see what could be salvaged of the best thing to ever happen to him, ever. Then he was going to come home for a bit, get to know the father he hadn't known he had and learn to love the brothers and sisters he'd been blessed with.

Grasping his hand, Finn pulled him into a bro-hug. Betty said not a word about the tears she found on both men's faces when they separated. Instead, she went and hugged her sort-of grandson, admonishing him to call when he was settled and reminding him that they were both there to talk whenever he needed it. Promising that he would, the Vampire King got on his way. He had hours of flying yet to do, and the sun would be up all too soon. Finn stared after his boy for a little while. Then, when he was well out of sight, he turned, took up the few bags and parcels, and motioned for Betty to precede him down into the cave.

It had been a few years. The last time he'd come was the day he found out Marshall was his son. He'd been running almost since that day, trying to beat down the waves of chaos and evil that were trying to destroy everything he loved. Marceline had blitzed, blustered, and blundered in and out of his life that whole time. He'd rediscovered his love for her and found himself coming full-circle. Now it seemed sort of fitting that this was where he returned on his first day back in the Candy Kingdom.

Walking up to the door, he knocked and waited patiently. It took a while. He knew she heard him, but she took her sweet time getting to the door. That was Marceline–forever pushing buttons and seeing what happened. Finally, as he was checking his watch for the tenth time, the once and former Vampire Queen opened the door. There she stood in all her glory, wearing a disreputable grey smock that had barely come down below her hips _before_ he knocked her up. Now, with her belly stuck out in front of her, it had the crotch of the ratty panties she was wearing playing peek-a-boo with his eyes.

"Finn," she burbled. As if anybody else came visiting her. Her eyes shimmered with tears. She hadn't really expected to be seeing him. She'd expected that the quest to take out the Dipped would carry him the better part of a year, and she'd been resigned to the idea that she would be birthing the twins without him. A part of her–the part that still daydreamed about true love–thought maybe she was dreaming this. She'd been sleeping when she heard the knocking. It wasn't something a demon strictly needed, but it tended to keep the darkness at bay when she could manage to do it.

Grabbing her hips, Finn drew her to him. Before she could half register what was happening, he was kissing her–almost stuffing his tongue down her throat. As Finn caressed her body–heedless of the changes–Betty brushed past. Marcy turned and stared at her. Yawning and stretching, she said, "don't mind me. I had my share this morning. I'm gonna' crash for a couple hours..." Glancing at the stone-hard couch, she amended, "I'm gonna' crash on the bed..." Just like that, she headed for the ladder. Grabbing Marceline's beautiful face, Finn turned her to face him and found tears in her eyes.

"I missed you so much," she whined. Finn felt his heart sink. He felt like a dick. In spite of the reasons he'd done it, he felt like a shit who abandoned his wife and kids. In short order, the water was flowing fast, and he was daubing at tears as best he could. In the end, he led her over to the couch and ended up giving her his shirt to cry into. As she blew her nose into his shirt, the big man held her, trying vainly to still the wrenching sobs that still wracked her beautiful body. As the tears finally began to slow, the demon-girl began to feel an emotion of a different sort. He was still the hard, hunky boy he'd been when he went away. Throwing herself on him, Marceline kissed his rough, battered lips, grinding her sexy shape against his. Finn had to make her stop. That was going to be a bit of a problem.

Marceline's hands grabbed his butt, and she started rubbing her snatch against his dick, which didn't take long to have him hard as a stone post. It took a great deal of will to break away, but he'd gotten used to this. Betty never seemed to get enough of screwing. Shocking a man who'd always thought of her as kind of cunty and cold, Betty liked fucking probably more than he did. When she got to be too big for that kind of thing, he'd sort of had to make her quit cold turkey because she was forever trying to escalate things and get some anyway.

"Finn," whined Marceline, as he pulled away. With his cock tenting his pants, the big man put some distance between them. "That's not a good idea," said he. The beautiful woman sat up, and he could _feel_ her eyes burning into his back. "You're almost in the third trimester, Marcy," Finn reminded her. "It's not healthy for the fetus for us to be having sexual intercourse..." Marcy wasn't sure which oddity bothered her more–Finn turning down pussy or using words like 'intercourse'. Something was deeply, _disturbingly_ wrong with her boy-toy. Rising, she came and stood behind him, sliding her arms around him.

For a while that was all she did, making him feel like kind of a jerk. She'd said it last time they were together. They'd missed a lot of time together. Especially after she had Marshall. They'd sort of parted ways, and stopped seeing each other. "Marcy," Finn muttered, when she grabbed his dick. "I can't help it," she grumbled, as he turned to face her. Laying her head on his shoulder, she said, "we only ever got to do it two times... All those other bitches got as much as they wanted..." Finn blushed to his hair. Changing the subject, he stroked her swollen belly. "Twins," she sighed. "Wow," he burbled. "I guess you caught up to Bonnie." She hauled off and punched him hard enough that his erection went soft in the blink of an eye.

After he'd hobbled around the living room a few times, he came back, got down on one knee, and apologized. Miffed, the Princess of Darkness threatened to haul him to the Night-O-Sphere. "Sure," he said. "I'd be glad to go." Those words brought a blush to her face. "You don't know what that means," she muttered, as she spun on her heel. Yawning, she said, "I'm'a go upstairs and get s'more sleep. The couch is all yours, weenie." Much to her shock, he didn't so much as complain.

 **Well, the Hero of Ooo is finally home. Now it's time to deal with all the drama that has been waiting for him. The beatings shall continue, until the girls' morale improves.**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9:

"So things are getting bad," murmured Star. Cherry flushed to her hair. "They obviously tried to frame you," opined the Captain of the Guard. "Question is, why?" It was a rhetorical question. The little wizard looked lost deep in her own thoughts. The crime boss said not a word as she worked her way through that. "Is there anything you can tell me about the dead men," Star asked? "Employees," Cherry replied. "We were supposed to be having a staff meeting." "Any staff missing from the pile," asked Star? It was a bit surreal to the Captain's bodyguard, Antonio. It wasn't anything like what he would have expected. In his kingdom, this woman would be on the rack, answering hard questions. Tiny as she was, Antonio didn't think she would last very long.

After a moment's consideration, Cherry replied, "no. All the staff were there. A guest was missing though." The Captain pursed her lips in thought. "Do you think maybe he did this," asked Star? "It's possible," replied Cherry. "He was there to be warned about some things he was doing. If you must know, he was an operative out of Muscle Kingdom." Antonio stiffened. Cherry said, "I've been trying to get things straightened out there." Star knew. There was a lot of violence in Muscle Kingdom right now, and she knew Bonnie had insisted that Cherry get it under control. That was a tall order given that most of the underworld structures that Star was familiar with were gone, and it made Star a little bit nervous. This was the kind of thing that could get you killed, and, strangely enough, she had a vested interest in the pair across the table from her.

"Ok," said Star. "I think that's it. Tony? Thor? Wait outside..." Her bodyguard howled protests. Thor knew better. Tony's complaints and hesitation earned him a blistering dressing down. In the end, he found himself outside in the hall fuming as he glared at the door to the Captain's office. Inside the office, Star brought her stepmom a fresh cup of the herbal tea that all the moms were drinking these days. Perching on the edge of her desk, the younger woman regarded her stepmom with a critical eye.

"You're making mistakes," she rumbled. Cherry flushed. "That could just as easily have been an ambush," the wizard opined. "You need to switch gears. You're a princess now. You've got dozens of legit businesses. You need to stop being involved in these hijinks. That's what flunkies are for..." Coolly Cherry answered that with, "are we done?" "No," Star replied. Slipping off her perch, she hugged the older woman and kissed her cheek. As Cherry stared at the floor in embarrassment, the Captain of the Guard admonished her, "go home. Stay out of trouble." It was the standard admonishment for the Captain of the Guard to give his or her known problems when there was no solid proof of wrong-doing. Rising, the older woman slugged down her tea at one go, and got out of there.

Meanwhile, at Marceline's place, the Princess of Darkness and her two guests had awoken, taken a joint shower, and moved on to preparing for the day. Finn had gotten a bit of a thrill soaping up the two girls, in spite of their bountiful, bulging tummies. It was a crazy reminder of the time they'd all been here preparing to go into the Wishmaster's maze when he'd jerked off thinking of boning both girls. The reality was so much crazier than even the fantasy. Marceline had proceeded to shock him by cooking up breakfast–something he hardly expected. But, of course, Marceline was no longer a vampire. She could eat normal food again.

After slugging down a cup of coffee, the big man pulled on his clothes and boots and headed out to the road to try and scare up a ride to the treehouse. He left Betty and Marceline at the kitchen table with Betty in her trademark jeans and sweater, and Marceline in her ratty housecoat. He also left a bit of a cloud. Worried as he was about Betty and the baby, and anxious as he was to get her into town, he'd been oblivious to the undercurrent of unhappiness there in Marceline's kitchen with him.

Now Marceline turned from the window, fixed Betty with her burning gaze, and demanded, "ok, what gives? His hair's going grey, and he's barely in his forties." Betty turned from stirring her tea and regarded her almost-daughter. This was the young woman that Simon had tried so hard to love and take care of when he was alone in the middle of the apocalypse. He'd done his best by Marceline until the Crown took his sanity.

When they were finally reunited many _centuries_ later, the young woman that Simon had tried to raise on his own in the aftermath of the apocalypse was no longer the sweet, innocent child he remembered. Marceline the Vampire Queen had been a daunting figure, and Betty had admittedly a little afraid of her. Whether it was the sheer _power_ she held or the many old movies Betty had watched, Marceline was a figure who could well have kept her up nights. Now, she was damned near twenty years older and wiser, and she was a little too deep in life to muster fear anymore. Some things needed to get said. Fate had cost them so _many_ things already and seemed to loom like a continuing threat over their every days. Did they not look out, Fate could cost them everything.

Sipping at tea, Betty replied, "the Harrow Helm... It's killing him. Or rather, burning him up from the inside out." Marceline's face snapped over to the black-iron helmet that sat on her mantle just now, and her face turned all sorts of interesting colors. "You _do_ realize you're the Devil, right," retorted the older woman? Marceline's jaw came unhinged. Relentless as the Death that had pursued her first husband, Betty Mertens told her sister-wife, "whatever cute name they're calling it right now, you rule over Hell itself, Marcy. You literally are the touch of evil that could send the world cascading into ruin, and everything you touch–every gift you have to give–is tainted." Those words hit the younger woman like body-blows, and Marceline flinched from every syllable.

Still, she squared up and met that with, "well, then, what's with his mouth?! Tell me that?! Is that my fault?!" Betty frowned at her in puzzlement. "When did he start using all those words," demanded Marceline? "He's dumb as a post!" Betty chuckled. Shaking her head, she said, "he's a man, Marcy. He's carrying the baggage of half a hundred women who've crossed his path over the last thirty years of his life. Every last one of them have taken a toll on him. Breezy's spell, which brought back the grass-sword and is now balancing the Quicksilver Curse. Then there's the hug-wolf and her curse that causes him to just start fucking scratching himself like a dog every once in a while. To say nothing of the emotional abuse Bonnie put him through, and all the burn-scars from Phoebe. We've _all_ done _something_ to him..." It was almost comical. It would have been funny, in a way, if it wasn't Finn's _life_ that was getting changed.

Marceline's face took on a horrified cast, and Betty knew what she was thinking. There wasn't a day that went by that Betty herself didn't think it. Neither of them had treated Finn very well. Neither had given the man a fair shake. Marceline had jerked him around almost as much as Bonnie, and, ultimately, _dumped_ him for the bubblegum princess. He'd practically given up his immortal soul to save her, and she dumped him for Bonnie. And Betty? Well, she'd just spent almost two decades trying to convince his wife to dump him until she finally succeeded.

"Nadia's nano-bugs," sighed Betty. "They're... They're doing _something_. I don't know what. It... It started after the plane crash. He was all busted up inside. He... sacrificed himself so she could live. To save his life, she injected him with nano-machines from her body... Somehow, it's like they're rewriting the neuropathways in his brain." Marcy pulled at her long, dark hair in shock. She began to pace furiously. Up and back. Up and back. "We gotta' fix this," she howled! "H-how're we going to fix this?!" "I don't know," Betty muttered. "First thing's first, though. You've got to get that fucking helmet out of here. It's addictive. I've found him playing with it from time to time, and he almost put it on once when there weren't any Dipped within two hundred miles." Marceline rushed back into the living room, swearing that she would do that right this very fucking minute.

Meanwhile, in Muscle Kingdom, a different meeting was taking place. Diego Silva Fernandez walked into his office to find the two birds from the previous day's altercation sitting at _his_ desk, going through _his_ papers. It had been humiliating enough to be summoned to the Candy Capitol to meet with the cream-puff that now fancied herself their leader. To have these two sticking their noses into his business threatened to drive him to violence. Glancing up, the pretty blonde frowned at him. "Still no contrition," she asked? Diego frowned. What the hell did that mean? He was mad as hell right now and ready to smash the both of them. As he strode forward to get in the bitch's face, a heavy, blunt object smacked into the back of his neck, dropping him to his knees there in the doorway. The heavily built thug tottered there a moment before a second blow stole his wits entirely.

It was over an hour later that Diego woke up. He found himself strapped into a chair, facing his own desk, and staring into the brilliant blue eyes of the pretty blonde. The scary fruit-person stood next to her, looking for all the world as though she might become violent at any moment. "I warned you," declared Marjorie. "You were supposed to be laying low, not raiding your neighbors." Diego flushed. He'd heard rumblings that a couple of the mooks next door had signed up with _somebody_ from outside the kingdom. Honestly, he'd expected it was the cream-puff. He hadn't believed it was this bird.

"This doesn't work if we get out of pocket and start doing our own thing," said Marjorie. She snapped her fingers, and the thug who'd leveled him put a phone in front of his face. Clicking it on, he flicked through to a video of two very familiar faces. "They're alive," said the blonde. "They're in safe-keeping. How long they stay that way is up to you. You play along, they continue to breath. The very next time you get out of pocket, I sell your son on the black market. He becomes a slave somewhere ugly. After that, I sell your daughter. She becomes somebody's plaything in Oceanside or something." The gangster stared back at his tormenters. "I know what you're thinking," growled the plum-person. Strolling around the desk, she drew a very sharp knife from her pocket.

Coolly, she snipped the tip of his ear off. Before the horrified eyes of the injured gangster, she popped the morsel in her mouth like it was a sweet-treat. "Mmm," she said. "Could use a little salt..." Cleaning the knife on his shirt, she told him, "I might buy that bitch myself and cook her up for supper. Leftovers for _weeks_!" Marjorie put down the file she'd been holding and said, "when I've killed your family, Diego, she'll be dining on _you_. Don't let it get that far. Pay your tithe. Follow orders." "Your life ain't worth spit," howled the gangster! "I'll..." What he would have done didn't quite get said. Sugarlump cut his throat with a casual swipe of the knife, spraying blood all over the desk. Marjorie rolled her eyes in disgust. That was three this week. "You need to work on impulse-control," muttered the older woman. "Now we'll have to lean on his successor." "Lean on the son," the plum-woman retorted. She knew just the way to get their terrified little boy to toe the line. All she needed was a camera-phone, a kitchen, and a few of her friends.

The late afternoon found Simone and Emeraude Mertens in the kitchen of the treehouse arguing with their stubborn child as she planned out a trip to the city of Crystal Fiends to retrieve crystals to help her siblings cope with the Quicksilver Curse. The pretty blonde had gotten up early, in spite of being home due to her pregnancy, and started putting together a new adventuring kit based on her dad's old equipment. That had precipitated a heated argument that had lasted across most of the day, with brief breaks for the two older women to go out on a supply run for the house or run other errands that had been sort of floating.

Simone had half expected to find Fionna gone when they got back. Her daughter was stubborn that way–much like her dad–and she'd yet to grow into her father's good sense about when to stop. Arguments about what such a foolish errand risked seemed to fall on deaf ears. In Fionna's mind, her baby was already at serious risk as it was. If they did nothing, the curse was going to get Mona anyway. Better to go out swinging than just have her baby waste away from premature age.

The trio was seated across from each other, glowering at fixings for supper between glowering at each other. Emeraude had threatened to shackle the unruly little bitch to her bed or to the wall, and Simone had seemed to be seriously considering it. Now knocking at the door defused the situation for a moment. "I'll get it," muttered the Ice Queen as she rose to head down the stairs. Emeraude got up and moved to the stairs, as if she was guarding against the prospect of a rash rescue mission. Down at the entry, Simone opened the door, muttering curses as she did so.

On the far side was a face she'd not seen since the day her father was murdered. "M-mom," burbled Simone?" As Betty watched, Simone bit her thumb as if seeing a ghost–or _dreaming_. Much to Betty's shock, the younger woman threw herself on Betty and cried. Betty slipped her arms around her sweet daughter and rocked with her there in the doorway. As she stroked Simone's long, pale hair, Betty found tears welling up in her own eyes. She'd had a perfect daughter, and she'd wanted to change her. _What a fool I was,_ thought the older woman. _God, what a fool I was._

In short order, Emeraude was there too, attracted by the commotion. Her eyes were hard and angry, and Betty found herself realizing that she had every right to be. She'd cost both of them so much that she knew there was no way of apologizing for it. There was no amount of apology that could make up for the way she'd wronged her daughter and her daughter's best friend. "W-wh... I thought I'd never see you," Simone babbled. "Need to say some things, sweetheart, but right now...," murmured Betty. "Finn's waiting." She pointed towards the trees that sat off to one side of the property.

That was all it took. Both women shoved their way past her and went straight across the driveway and into the trees. "No punching," shouted Betty as the two disappeared into the trees! Betty found herself alone with her granddaughter and Bananaman, who'd been kind enough to drive his neighbors home from Marceline's place. Fionna, who'd heard Patrick's mom downstairs, had come down to investigate in the hope that her father was there. Instead, she ended up standing aside as Bananaman pushed past with Betty's few belongings, headed for the stairs. In any event, there were now some rather unpleasant sounds coming from the woods beside the house. Fionna grimaced at the sound of her father's painful shouts. "It's ok, dear," Betty murmured. "I told them no fists. Should just be slapping. Come on. We'll play something on Beemo."

Finn groaned in pain as he sat down on the log that the kids had used once-upon-a-time for their backyard campouts. He wasn't sure which had been more painful–the dueling crying jags or the beating. Now he had to deal with the remaining fallout. "I'm sorry," he began. Before he could utter another word, Simone put a hand to his mouth and silenced him. Some things needed to be said. Steepling her hands in front of her lips, the tall woman said, "when we started this journey, it was just to help daddy. That's what I told you... I... was lieing." Finn nodded. "I knew what you wanted," he said. "I... I guess I hoped things would work out ok..."

"I know, honey," said Simone. "Shush. I'm apologizing for helping to blow up our family..." When Finn would have just accepted that, Emeraude shushed him too, saying, "you accept too much shit. Shut up and listen..." The big man flushed. "We abandoned you," Simone admitted. "Lollipop told us about the drinking..." Finn's face darkened in shame. "I abandoned my babies and my husband," Simone sniffed. "I lied to you..." "We both did," Emeraude admitted. Star had needed to punch sense into her to get her to recognize the harm she'd been doing.

"So what now," he asked? Simone took a deep breath. "I'm trapped, Finn," she murmured. "I... That whole time... I just wanted to be home again. With you and my babies..." Her voice was close to breaking. He knew what that meant. He'd been wondering about Wiz-City and what was happening there with Betty by his side. He'd had his suspicions about what might be going on. Deep down, he'd feared that there would be no Simone and no Emeraude here when he got back. It was one of the things that had kept him away. He hadn't wanted to face that.

Finn took her hand. Reaching out, he took Emeraude's hand as well and drew both women down to the log with him. "When do you leave," he asked? Simone said, "next week." Turning to the wood nymph, he asked, "and you?" Voice dry and emotionless, the wizard woman answered, "tomorrow." Finn nodded and said, "we'll have a party..." Emeraude muttered curses, but Finn merely said, "we're on this road, Emeraude. Whether we wanted to be here or not. I'm... I'm at peace. If I have to drive a hundred miles, it's better than walking to a cemetery."

Moving on, Finn said, "I took your mistakes and threw my own on the pile. Then, when I thought you were dead..." "You moved on, Finn," sighed Simone. "You're a grown man. It's crazy to think you'd have just sat there crying the rest of your days... Especially with the way we parted. I'm... We can't blame you..." "...although the P-Bot thing is weird," added Emeraude. Finn blushed. Smiling now, the wood nymph said, "confession time, baby. You... you're often times a better husband than we've been wives or girlfriends. I mean any of us. I... while we're askin' for stuff that's contradicting what we asked for ten minutes back, you're usually trying to get us what we really needed. Even when you have every right to be angry too..."

"In spite of where you've already got commitments and in spite of our own inability to come clean," Simone added. "I... knew I had to tell you about a lot of those trips, and I was so ashamed I stopped communicating, honey. And I lied... I got so close to the line, there were times I barely saw it. While you were with women who we actually knew and who cared for you enough to be discrete, I was risking our marriage on strangers who just wanted a cheap thrill. You kept trying to communicate... to _save_ our marriage, and I just kept ignoring the problem because I was ashamed..." Taking a deep breath, Simone said, "a penance is owed, honey. You've paid yours. Now it's our turn..."

Those words worried Finn, and he turned to face his wife. "I have to accept the women that became part of your life while you thought we were dead," Simone declared. "With all the complications and the _children_ , I have no choice. We have to make this work..." "Just be aware that we get first dibs," muttered Emeraude. When he turned to face her, he found her green eyes smoldering with desire. The big man flushed to his hair as a cascade of thoughts went through his mind. In the blink of an eye, Simone shoved him off the log and onto his back, and Emeraude pounced on him.

Finn found himself with his face pressed into her snatch, inhaling her scent through her pants and panties. Momentarily, as the little sexpot began grinding her pussy into his nose, he felt Simone's hands fumbling at his belt. Dragging on the belt and on his pants, she worked at undressing him, which didn't take long at all to give him a boner. He'd never done anything like this with the two of them. They had always switched off. The closest he'd ever come to something like this was having Sarah watching him bang Betty. Now he had a mouthful of E's pussy, and Simone was stroking his pecker through his shorts.

"Where did these damn briefs come from," demanded the beauty. Finn groaned out, "Lollipop..." Lollipop liked banana-hammocks. She'd bought him underwear so tight it cut off circulation. Emeraude was unfastening her top now, baring her still-hard body to the late-afternoon sun. Flinging her shirt away, she began to play with her plump little boobies, stroking and caressing them as she continued to rub her snatch against his face. Finn couldn't help licking her, in spite of the fact that she was still clothed down south. The nasty little slut squealed when he did that. And that started off a scramble for her to get out of the rest of her clothes.

Before Finn could react to that, though, he felt Simone wrap her big knobs around his pecker and begin rubbing the heavy, firm globes up and down his shaft. Finn's hips surged up towards her, bouncing his tip off her chin, leaving a little of his sex-slime there. After months of nothing because Betty was too far gone for that sort of thing, it took all his willpower not to shoot off right there. When Simone began licking and nibbling at his knob in addition to tit-fucking him, he almost shot off in her face.

By now, E had given up on getting her boots off. She dragged her pants and panties halfway down her thighs and settled on his face again. The big man immediately began licking and sucking on her hot pussy, giving her a ferocious tongue bath. That caused another squeal. It had been a while for her too–months of being away from home, and then months being a sock-puppet. "Oooh, baby," she whined as her man went down on her just like he always did.

For Finn, the feel and taste of E's snatch kept him from just blasting off on Simone. Focused as he was on what he was doing to the wood-nymph wonder, he was able to hold out against the nasty blowjob his Ice Queen was giving him. At least he was until she threw something extra special in the mix. When she'd been a slave of the Ice Tiara, her whole body had been much colder. Now, he was startled to feel her chilly lips engulf him once more. That caused him to jam his hips upward as a squirt of his joy-juice shot out. Smacking her lips, Simone said, "well, we don't want to waste it..." Tempted as she was, she wanted more than that.

Finn was almost disappointed when she stopped giving him that incredible tit-job. Disappointment gave way to a thrill of delight when he felt pressure against his tip–and then Simone's still-hot pussy slid down his shaft to the hilt. Emeraude felt him thrashing beneath her, and he let out a yelp that startled her. A glance over her shoulder told the wizard-woman what had set him off. Her best friend was there, in all her glory, hair wild, dress open to her hips, riding his cock like she was riding a bucking horse.

Broad hips bucking and wriggling, Simone toyed with her own big boobies, stroking them and squeezing them, and even licking and nibbling at the tips herself in a nasty display that made her friend even more turned on. Neither of the pair gave two damns about the people going by on the road or the two car-wrecks they almost caused. Meanwhile Finn continued to lick and suck at Emeraude's hot pussy, driving her crazy.

The two women lost themselves in the thrill of what they were doing. It was sort of like taking back what was _theirs_ after having had it stolen out from under them. Simone made sure to grind her hips against Finn's every time she bottomed out on his big whang, and Emeraude never let him stop licking. The big man held out best he could. He wanted to give some to E too, but he couldn't do it. In the end, when Simone was slamming her snatch down on him one more time, he lost it, shooting off like a hose. "Mmmmm," moaned the tall beauty, as she savored the hot, melty feel of that.

Climbing off, she grabbed Emeraude by the shoulder, pulling her off Finn's face. Almost the wood-nymph shrugged her off. She was having a really nice time. "Your turn," murmured Simone. Finn groaned. The wizard woman was all smiles as she grabbed his still-hard dick and sat down. Sensitive as he was after the ride Simone had enjoyed, he almost shot off again. It was almost painful. Sitting up, he wrapped his arms around Emeraude, buried his face in between her boobies, and began to give it to her like he'd always done it–rough and fast. Simone reached down between his legs and teased at his balls with her fingernail, stroking and caressing him, and causing him to come very close to shooting off too soon. It was very dirty, and he was loving every minute of it.

E had her face pressed into the crook of his neck, and she was all but screaming now as he screwed the shit out of her. Her hot snatch felt like it was going to cut him in half. As the third near-wreck in the last twenty minutes was narrowly averted on the road, Finn grabbed her hips, slammed her down on his dong, and shot all the goo he had left into her belly before collapsing backwards in a heap with Emeraude on top of him. Simone sighed heavily, as she settled in against her man and her dear friend, savoring the comfort of their presence.

Laying there at the bottom of the pile, Finn existed in a strangely conflicted version of happy. It was the first sex he'd had in two months really, and his little buddy was feeling pretty good about that. At the same time, there was another shoe to drop–a _bunch_ of shoes, in fact–and he knew it. "Boy are you a _donk_ ," chuckled Emeraude. "Not only did you just get laid, but you just got permission to bang a bunch of other girls. What are you down in the mouth about?" Flushing to his hair, he said, "I gotta' get beat up seven more times..." Tugging on his nose, Simone reminded him, "you should have come home sooner, honey..."

The big man gave her a sheepish nod. Things had just gotten away from him. In the right now, though, they were laying half-naked by the side of the road, and though the treehouse was pretty isolated, it was a certainty that they probably ought to get inside before they got arrested. Easing out from under the pile, Finn gathered on his pants. Then, as the girls pulled themselves together, the big man helped by picking up scattered bits of clothing. He'd forgotten how nice they smelled, and honestly he found himself taking a whiff of Simone's bra before handing it back.

When they came up to the top of the stairs, they found Fionna sitting at the kitchen table while an exhausted Betty took a snooze on the couch. Simone frowned at that. A corner of her mind wanted to paint that as a bit of a problem. It was _familiar_ somehow. Fionna smirked as her moms, looking sweaty and messy as they'd ever been after screwing upstairs with her dad, went to the kitchen table and started on dinner. While they worked, the young miss got up and went to her wayward father. "Grandma said no punching," she murmured, as she slapped him across either cheek. It wasn't full out like when she thought he'd gotten her moms killed, but it was hard enough to remind him that she wasn't happy with him at the moment.

"Don't ever think you can do that again, daddy," she said. "I'm not going to forget it. You abandoned us when we needed you the most, and I don't give a damn how good your reason was." Nodding, Finn apologized. "We're a family, daddy," she said. "We talk stuff through and work out the problem. That's what you said, remember?" The big man blushed to his hair, as his daughter hugged him.

Around the dinner table, the strange family caught up on each other's lives while they discussed the 800lb gorilla in the room. Finn was horrified to learn that pretty much all his kids had the Curse. Now, having barely gotten home, he was looking at having to go right back out again. They needed this fixed, and they needed it fixed right-freakin'-now. "Been thinking about it," Simone murmured. "It's one of the reasons I agreed to take the job as Grand Master. That'll give me access to the library. I can do some digging there and see if that asshole left notes about the curse." Emeraude made some unhappy mutterings of her own. She wanted to help, but she would be in the Grey Forest trying to fix the disaster that her mother had left.

Betty couldn't help thinking about her own parental issues and wondering if the younger woman wasn't really in the same spot she'd been in. She had the same daddy-hate that Betty herself had held for most of her life, and it looked as if she was desperately in need of some healing. Unfortunately, far from getting the help she needed, Emeraude was going right back into the fray. A glance at Finn showed that he knew exactly what was going on in the little woman's mind, and Betty couldn't help thinking that he had an amazing empathy and ability to deal with other's problems.

"I wish you could come and help too, honey," opined Simone, "but the City's still barred to non-magi. I can probably let you visit because we're married, but that's about it." Emeraude opined, "then Fionna can go..." Fionna's face turned excited, while her mother's became thoughtful. "We _should_ check out this thing with the crystal sword," burbled Simone. She was concerned about Patrick's _cure_.

As supper wound down, Finn gathered in the dishes and took them to the sink to wash, much as he always had. Fionna pitched in to help, while Beemo stood on the sidelines and heckled them with helpful suggestions like 'too much soap' or 'need a new towel'. Finn didn't mind it. In a lot of ways, it felt good, reminding him of all the good times he'd spent here in this place. He hoped to spend a few dozen more good years here before he croaked. While he and his daughter worked, they talked about his second grandchild and all the ways Finn planned to spoil her rotten. Because that was what granddads did. Sitting in the living room, Betty watched and listened and winced at every massive syllable that came out of his mouth, even as she wondered when the others would notice the changes. It hadn't taken Marceline long at all.

Done with racking and stacking dishes, the pair came into the living room, where Emeraude promptly challenged Fionna to a high-stakes game of Compie's Castle, with the loser getting the honor of cleaning up Billy's room for Betty to sleep in. Before Finn could say a word about intending to do that job himself, Simone shoved him onto the couch and occupied his left knee, laying her head against his shoulder. Betty swiftly occupied the other knee. There was little point in being awkward when she was six months pregnant.

"I'm home," announced Star!

The Acting Captain of the Guard had been ducking her parents. She'd been hiding out at Lollipop's house and even her brother's abandoned apartment, doing her best to avoid the drag that her moms had become, but news that Fionna was back in town had her excited as she hadn't been in ages. Shaking loose from work, the younger sister had given her annoying bodyguard the slip for the night and snuck out of town to her home. Now the little wood nymph stopped right there at the top of the stairs as she took in the sight of Simone and Simone's mom both occupying her father's lap while her birth-mother played Beemo with Fionna. Jaw hanging in shock, the little woman declared, "ok, our family just got weird..."


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10:

Billy the Human Boy paced the halls nervously as his stepson watched and colored his coloring book. The big man was in something of a tizzy more because of the way his last family had ended than any real risk for his current one. Ragnhild was preggers. It was his fourth child, and Billy was excited and terrified all at once. Honestly, did he dig into it, he felt _cursed_. He'd been so happy with JJ, and he'd been doing all the right things. And still, the whole business had gone in the ditch. He was the guy. He still felt like he should have been able to save his wife somehow.

Now he was a concerned husband again and a very involved father. So much so that Ragnhild had already told him to put a sock in it. Having gone through 'the process' once already, she was far more relaxed about it. She'd already been through the bouts of sickness. She'd already gone through the cravings. She'd already suffered through the back pain and the misery of having to only sleep on her side. Honestly, the last flippin' thing she wanted was her hubby going six-ways of crazy over the whole biz.

She did take care of herself. She was older, and she knew it. There were all kinds of complications that could get her or the baby or both, and she planned to be around a good while longer. Irritated as she got with Billy, she was also happier than she'd ever been in her life, and she wanted to savor the feeling for a while before reality stuck its nose under the tent once more. Older and (hopefully) wiser, she thought she knew how to keep things going between them–better than with her first husband anyway. Having a child together was part of the deal.

Of course she was also juggling her position as an active member of the Privy Council with the affairs of her own kingdom, and that was eating up a lot of time. She spent as much time down here in the Candy Kingdom as at home, which meant she didn't always get in to her own doctor. Fortunately, Dr. Princess was one of the foremost doctors in the civilized lands. Having been a patient of Drew Princess for the entirety of his life, Billy was only too glad to bring his lovely wife down to the tough-minded doctor whenever they were in town, and today was no exception.

Inside the exam room, Ragnhild was in the process of pulling on her formal robes once more after having gotten through the obligatory poking and prodding. Little Simon was doing well, and she was delighted with the news she'd gotten. It was a relief that his grandfather's awful curse hadn't somehow jumped to the little fellow through his father. Of course, with her own life and her own child in some jeopardy, the doctor was a little prickly today. Ragnhild had noticed it when they came in and had the preliminary consultation. She'd gotten a dose of it as Drew did the exam. Now she was about to get a really sizable dose as the exam wrapped up.

The doctor had taken several samples of the pretty princess's blood both at this exam and at the previous one. Now she had the results back, and she was not pleased. Slapping the report on the table in a huff, Drew Princess declared, "I found Polysorbate 80 in your bloodstream. That's going to stop. I don't care what you do with your own body, but those preservatives aren't good for your baby. Clear?" Meekly, Ragnhild nodded.

In soothing tones, the good doctor said, "I understand why you've been doing that. If I had a hubby who was half my age..." The princess blushed to her pale hair. Standing up, the tall doctor waddled over to the cabinets on the far side of the room. As the patient watched, the doctor got out bottles of pills and capsules, stuffing a bag full of them. "A cocktail of healthy herbs and vitamins," said the doctor, "tailored to your body. Take one each per day. And no more preservatives. Got me?" Meekly the princess nodded, as she accepted the bag. Rising, she thanked the doctor and slipped out the door.

Outside, she found her hubby tearing up the floor in his worry. It was one of the things that most endeared him to her. She was his everything. She and Anders. She'd watched him crawl around on the floor for hours with the little boy on his back. There were times she wasn't sure that was right, but Billy was trying so hard to make it work. Of course, just as she was pondering what _she_ could do to help things along, Billy's disreputable father came in. The pretty princess hadn't heard that he'd returned. Honestly, she'd thought he was off gallivanting around, sowing his oats and leaving other women holding the bag. The pretty princess failed to see how her wonderful hubby had come from the loins of such a dishonest character as that.

Billy's eyes went wide in shock as he caught sight of his wayward father. As Finn the Human came in through the clinic's double-doors, Billy greeted him with a plaintive, "dad?" His old man looked much the worse for wear. He was limping, his eyebrows were gone, his clothes were singed and torn, and he had a bloody nose and several red marks on his face. "Hey, Bill," Finn murmured, sounding thoroughly wrung out and exhausted. It had been a long day already with five encounters with angry women and five beatings, but he'd gotten down most of the way through the list.

Phoebe had almost literally blown up in his face, setting his shirt on fire and melting the soles of his boots. Lollipop had alternated crying and sobbing like she'd lost everything with slapping and clawing at his face and hair and screaming at him. Cherry had kicked him in balls and stomped her stiletto heel into both his feet in a fury before storming out of her own office and slamming the door literally in his face. She'd left him rolling around on the floor in acute physical pain, and of course the sobbing and crying he heard on the other side of that door did nothing for his psyche.

Bonnie had lectured him for a long, _endless_ hour, reminding him of all his failings and all his bad habits–numerous–and expressing a profound disappointment in him. She'd barely had to raise her voice, but by the time she was done, he'd felt about two inches tall. Nadia had unleashed a blistering torrent of profanity that left him wishing he was back in Bonnie's lecture. When she wasn't screaming swear words at him in two or three languages at once, she'd been jabbing him in the ribs with her finger hard enough that she'd left bruises. And, of course, she'd opened the flood gates right after and sent him away with her sobs ringing in his ears. He was dreading the reaction he was going to get from Sarah, but right now he had to survive the confrontation with Drew.

The woman herself was standing in the doorway of the exam room, and she didn't look happy. Turning to Nurse Poundcake, she said, "cancel my next appointment." Turning to her wayward husband, she growled, "my office. Now." The big man slunk through the door, looking as though he feared the worst, which Billy thought was entirely appropriate for the moment. There was a lot of built-up anger that had been waiting on his father–literally _months_ of it. _Good luck, dad,_ he thought, as he turned to collect his stepson. Settling Anders on his hip, Billy gathered up the bag with his things and headed for the door.

As they were walking away, Billy clearly heard a loud *smack* and then a groan of pain from his father. As he opened the door for Ragnhild, the big man glanced back just in time to see Dr. Princess open the door to the exam room and stick her head out. In sweet tones, she called out, "Nurse Poundcake? Would you bring me a cold compress?" Billy flinched. As the pair climbed into Ragnhild's car, the princess turned to her husband and said, "just make sure you don't get any ideas..." Flushing to his hair, Billy retorted, "I don't really like being beat on." Ragnhild goggled at him. "What," he asked? "Do you really think it's _him_ in control?"

Back inside the exam room, the good doctor made her husband climb up on the exam table, at which point she gave him a thorough going over. He too was made to deliver what felt like a gallon of blood. He didn't even get the usual cookie at the end. Instead, he got poked. Relentlessly. She even made him bend over and cough. He was noxiously healthy, in spite of the gray in his hair.

When he'd come in with so much gray, she had thought it was the Curse, finally overcoming Breezy's magic. Now she thought maybe it was a little honest ageing. Of course they had other business to get through. As the big man sat down on the couch, his wife sternly asked, "where's Betty?" Flushing, he replied, "gone to Wizard City with Simone..." "I know she's pregnant," Drew growled. "I want to see her." Finn promised he'd drag her in. Laying his file on the table, Dr. Princess announced, "this will be our last visit. I'm officially transferring you to Dr. Chip's care effective today."

Holding the ice-pack to his nice new shiner, the big man frowned at her and demanded, "why?" In official tones, Drew retorted, "you know my rules, Finn. We're intimate. I don't fuck my patients." Finn glanced away, muttering, "Dr. Chips is kind of a jerk..." The sexy doctor straddled his lap and sat down, taking the ice-pack from his hands. When he turned to look at her, she caught his face with her hands and said, "you'll have to deal with it, Finn." Leaning forward, she put her lips to his ear and sensually nibbled at his earlobe, whispering, "I can't treat the father of my baby..."

Finn felt a surge of heat to his face. It appeared they had reached the making-up part. He just wished he could have gotten to this spot without getting a black-eye. Momentarily, the beautiful doctor was doing her best to make up for punching him, teasing his tongue with hers and rubbing that dynamite body–and swollen belly–against him like a horny kid. Drawing back, Drew licked her lips and said, "you know what I need." Strangely enough, she'd gotten sort of hooked on the bondage thing after that first time. Now half the time she made him tie her up. Today, he had to disappoint her. Taking her face in his hands, he reminded her, "and you know better. Second Trimester. No sex."

Drew frowned at him, but Finn stared back, gaze steady as it had ever been. "Something's wrong with you," she declared, as she got up and went to retrieve her instruments. When she returned, she had electronic leads and her brain-monitoring biz. The big man put her off, saying, "I'm just fine. We'll talk later, alright? I have some things I need to take care of. There's going to be a gathering tonight at my house. I'd be really appreciative if you'd join me for dinner." Frowning, she said, "ok. Where's Finn?" The big man gave her a look of utter bafflement. Then, giving her an almost-chaste kiss on the lips, he turned to get on his way. At the door, he said, "I'd also appreciate it if you could prescribe another vitamin cocktail. I ran out of the last prescription." And then he was gone, leaving her staring after him. Turning for the phone, the beautiful physician dialed up the one other person who would likely have noticed the change. There was something wrong here.

The house was clean when Simone Mertens climbed the stairs that evening, mother and daughter in tow. The whole place was spic-and-span, looking as if someone(s) had spent the whole day cleaning it. The entry was swept clean. All the shoes were racked and stacked in their cubbies. There were slippers laid out, and the carpet on the stairs had even been dusted clean. Frowning, she found herself wondering what had happened to her cozy little home. This wasn't _normal_.

As the trio approached the top of the stairs, they began to smell the scents of a wonderful home-cooked meal. It was a scent that Betty was rather familiar with. Finn was cooking. It took only a moment for those sensations to tickle something deep in Simone's brain. Now she rushed up the stairs to find Finn there scrubbing at the counter in spite of the fact that he had dinner on. Indeed the whole of the living room and kitchen areas were spotless as they hadn't been since before the kids were born.

Looking around her, Simone looked as though she were moments from freaking out. Resting a hand on her shoulder, Betty came up alongside her daughter. That gesture seemed to suggest that she shouldn't react. This wasn't the time. "Hey, babes...," Finn greeted the pair. Striding across the room, he gingerly hugged Fionna. Then he gave his ladies both a hug and kiss on the lips. Before either could really react to that, the big man was standing at the stove again, almost as if he'd teleported. _The Curse,_ thought Simone. "Wow, dad," gushed Fionna! "That's slick! I wish I could move that quick!" Which she probably could. She just hadn't surrendered herself to the curse the way her father had. As she watched the big man draw dinner out of the oven, the pale woman was horrified to realize just how he'd cleaned the whole house in one day. By himself.

"Hey, Fi," said he. "Can you watch supper. I'm'a go get the picnic table ready. Figure there's enough of us. We can eat outside tonight." And without a further word, he was on his way down the stairs. Turning to her mother, Simone growled, "talk! How long has he been doing that?!" Face turned thoughtful, Betty murmured, "that one's new. He's never used it so casually before this. I've seen him use it to take down the Lich's undead, but only then." Simone began to pace, but Fionna opined, "he's just having fun, mom. It's cool." And that, to Fionna, was that. As her mother and grandma watched, she started taking dinner downstairs. She left turmoil behind her.

Simone began to pace again, her heart beating hard and fast in worry. The Quicksilver Curse wasn't a toy. It was a deadly thing meant to kill the victim cruelly. "Calm down," Betty admonished her. "This thing won't get solved in a day, and it won't get solved by all that pacing." Her tone was soothing, and eventually her pretty doppleganger stopped pacing and sat down. By that point, both Finn and Fionna were back, laughing and joking like the loving father and daughter that they were. Gathering up more food, they headed downstairs once again. For want of a better idea of what to do now, Simone and Betty pitched in.

As they worked to lay out the dinner spread that Finn had cooked, Marceline came strolling up the driveway. Simone could only stare as the former vampire came up to the table. "Twins," Betty murmured. "Hi," a sheepish Marceline burbled. Simone took her by the arm and steered her into a seat. Blushing, the pale girl murmured, "I'm ok." "Hey, babe," said Finn, as he kissed her cheek. "D'you make it to Drew's place?" Blushing, Marceline admitted, "uh... no..." "Well," said Finn, "we'll stop by tomorrow." At that moment, the woman herself appeared, rolling up the driveway in the beater truck she drove. Stepping out, she glanced around her. "Hey, doc," Fionna greeted her. Rushing down the driveway, she gave the pretty doctor a bone-crushing hug. "We're pregnant, Fionna," wheezed Drew. "Oh," giggled Fi. "Yeah." Taking the doctor by the arm, the pretty blonde practically dragged her up the driveway to the table.

As Drew sat herself next to Marceline and Betty, Finn opined, "yeah. We should probably bring your car a little closer." In just an eyeblink, he was down at the end of the driveway. As a startled Drew watched, Finn drove her car up the driveway almost to the end. Her gaze flicked to Betty, who said, "say nothing. We're going to talk later. All of us." No sooner had she made that statement than Phoebe dropped out of the sky, coalescing from a blaze of orange flame into the familiar beauty that Finn had known since he was fourteen. Almost. "Uh, Phoebes," stammered Simone, as she pointed. It took a moment. Betty winced at the shriek the Flame King let out when she realized she was buck-naked. Fionna focused her beautiful grey eyes on the older woman and filaments of glass began to crawl up her curvy form. That almost made things worse as Drew and Marceline simultaneously howled, "how the fuck did you do that?!" Phoebe's reaction was a little more rational as she gingerly hugged the pretty blonde, thanking her for her quick thinking.

"Wow," said Fi. "Never seen you naked before." Phoebe blushed, and Simone admonished her kid to drop the subject. Phoebe was having enough trouble with her powers lately without Fionna drawing unpleasant attention to her issues. Stepping out of Drew's truck, Finn greeted his old flame with, "hey, babe." He gave his woman a ginger peck on the cheek. "You shouldn't do that," she muttered. "I'm... not in control." "Not a problem," said Finn. "I can get these lips back before anything bad happens." Using the Curse. Realizing what he meant by that, she gave him a bleak look.

Two limousines rolled up then, carrying the remainder of the evening's guests. Cherry and Lollipop got out of one, with Cherry lugging little Van. Bonnie got out of the other with Nadia in tow. Simone's eyes immediately locked on the cyborg woman. Just as her mother had predicted, Nadia's boobies had grown noticeably in response to her rather obvious pregnancy. It honestly made Simone consider urging her to get reduction surgery. Finn greeted each woman in turn, kissing Lollipop's thin lips, kissing Cherry gingerly on the cheek, kissing Bonnie's hand in chivalrous fashion, and bowing deeply before Nadia, who looked perilously close to belting him.

When he had straightened, the Russian beauty growled, "what happened to your eye?" "I did," muttered Drew. Glancing at the pretty doctor, the cyborg growled, "deserved, then." Flushing to his hair, Finn burbled, "uh, yeah... Heh-heh. Let's eat." He ushered the way to the table, scrounging up a booster-seat for Van, before he began to dish up dinner with Fionna's help.

The table was silent for a while, as the gathered women chewed their way through dinner. Cherry was astounded to find that her husband was every bit as good at cooking as her personal chef had ever been and better than she'd ever been in her life. Bonnie and Marceline both found themselves reminiscing about old times– _better_ times–when they'd been here far more often. Both had taken outrageous advantage of his youthful love and affection. They'd given up the best years of his life. Nadia and Lollipop were more stoic. Both were still angry, but they were also frightened witless by some of the things Drew had told them earlier in the day. And Phoebe? She fidgeted between bleak desperation over her man and her child both and an earnest depression. The world was coming off the rails, and she had no idea what to do.

Talk eventually turned to the Privy Council. With Bonnie, Nadia, and Cherry all there, it was a certainty that conversation would eventually lead there. They had a whole pile of ugly news to relate. Muscle Princess had taken the sanctions not at all well, and she was now threatening retaliation. Rumors were swirling around Wildberry and what she was doing. There were suggestions she was secretly building an army to punish those who'd offended her. Other rumors held that she was building a coalition of like-minded princesses to _take_ control of the Council. None of the news was good, and Betty found herself wondering just what had been going on while they were out. What had they all been doing?

Of course more than one of those faces turned towards Finn as he stoically worked his way through dinner. Those glances and gazes seemed to say, "when are you going to go take care of this?" Far from rushing in to intervene, the big man seemed content to sit, listen, and serve up dinner. Meanwhile, Fionna distracted the gathering with talk of all the baby-names. From Rosie, through Birch, to Joshua, she had a host of little brothers and sisters, and she had a host of ideas for spoiling them all. She was bubbly and eager the way only she and her father could be.

In the middle of Fionna's gushing about her new siblings, Bonnie interrupted the conversation by staring her Captain of the Guard in the eye and asking, point blank, "when are you returning to duty? I mean... I'm not displeased by Star's efforts, but she's _young_." Which was to say that she was still learning all the things her father had gone through already. Finn, who'd been hoping to avoid having this conversation right here right now, sighed heavily. This was it. He'd been doing a lot of soul-searching since he got home, and he still wasn't really sure this was a good idea. At the same time, he knew they needed a change. The world had changed on them, and things didn't work as well if he just tried to go back to the way things had been.

Taking a deep breath, he rose, lay down his napkin, and said, "I've been considering all the variables the last couple of days, weighing what the needs of our family are versus the needs of Ooo, and the geopolitical situation we find ourselves in..." Bonnie's mouth came open, and she stared at him as he droned on and on about the unique and unprecedented condition of Ooo. She was so busy staring and so shocked by the change that she almost missed the punchline. "I beg your pardon," demanded Nadia. Clearing his throat, the big man repeated himself, "I think it's time I stepped down, Bonnie. I... I'm going to have ten kids that are going to need looking after..." Glancing at Phoebe, he added, "some of them need really serious attention.

"Point is," said the hero, "I need to focus my attention on what's important. I need to take responsibility for the lives I brought into the world. Then I have the Quicksilver Curse to think about. Someone needs to go track down a cure. You're all princesses. You've all got kingdoms to rule. Emeraude already had to leave and go to the Grey Forest to take care of her people. I'm going to support you in the best fashion possible. I'm going to retire from business of adventuring. Effective today."

Simone was on her feet before the gathering could erupt. Calmly, she said, "Finn, it appears that you didn't make a dessert." The big man glanced around him in consternation. "Yeah," he sighed. "I guess I got so busy cleaning the house, I neglected to make one." "Why don't you go and get one at the Squeezymart," Simone gently suggested? Finn frowned at her, but Simone was already moving on. Calmly, she told Fionna, "why don't you go with your father. There's a lot of us here. He'll need a little help." Puzzled, Fionna said, "but, mom... I was gonna'..." "C'mon, Fi," Finn grumped. "They want to talk about us behind our back." Without a further word, the big man left the table, heading down to the road. Fionna scooted her chair back and rushed after him, leaving the pack of angry wives at the table.

The gathering held its collective breath as the pair walked out of sight. When they were gone, the whole place erupted. Fastening her hands around her mom's throat, Simone shook Betty violently, shouting, "what did you do to my husband?! You always hated who he was! What did you do?! Talk!" "It's Nadia's nanobugs," wheezed Betty. Phoebe shoved Simone away. Turning to the older woman, she said, "explain!" Coughing, Betty gasped out, "it started not long after that Dipped tried to kill them over the wastelands. Nadia put some of her nano-bugs in Finn's bloodstream to patch the holes in his arteries. Not long after, his vocabulary changed drastically." The change had continued from there until the point where even his sentence-structure was changing.

A horrified Nadia grabbed at her short hair and pulled. "There's obviously some sort of strange interaction going on," rumbled Drew. "I've taken samples of his blood, and I have counts of the nano-machines. Unfortunately, I've got no idea how many there should be or how many are even safe..." At Bonnie's behest, Drew passed the lab report down the table, and the pretty princess took a good long look at it. "There's more here than should have been in a single syringe full of blood," muttered Bonnie. Every face there swivelled to glare at the Grid Face Princess. Nadia flushed to her hair as she admitted, "in one of my people, they're... They're self-sustaining. I-I thought they would wear out and get excreted from his body." "In a normal human, they probably would be," sighed Bonnie. "...but Finn's anything but normal," rumbled Cherry. "Between the two curses on his body and Breezy's magic, there could be any number of crazy interactions going on there." "And then there's the Harrow Helm," said Betty. "The who-what," demanded Phoebe?

"Marceline gave him a weapon," Betty hoarsely replied. "To help us kill off the Dipped left behind by the Lich." Blushing, Marceline sank lower into her chair as every face there turned towards her. "I was just trying to help," she insisted. "Talk," growled Lollipop! With Betty interjecting pithy observations from her time in the wilderness with Finn, the Princess of Darkness explained what the Harrow Helm was. Bonnie was on her feet now, looking as if she would get violent. "Let me get this straight, Marceline," she snapped! "You _know_ he's living with two very deadly curses that were meant to kill him, and the one thing that's been keeping him alive is Breezy's unstable magic spell, but you thought it would be ok to hand him a dangerous artifact from your father's treasure vault. Does that cover it?" Sheepishly, Marceline shrugged. She hadn't really meant things to get out of hand.

"Simone," howled Phoebe! Rushing around the table, she tried to pull her friend's hands from her hair only to find the fingers frozen to the strands of hair. "Shit," Phoebe growled! "Don't pull," Drew shouted! "You'll pull her hair out by the roots! We need to thaw the ice!" Lollipop rushed inside and came back with a pot of boiling water. As Drew and Lollipop tried to thaw her hair out, Bonnie got to grips with the problem facing them. She'd been almost _daydreaming_ of having Finn back. She'd been daydreaming of having him here to get them _out_ of the mess they were in.

In bygone days, she would have been loudly and perhaps obnoxiously bashing him for being a muttonhead without two braincells to rub together. However, she had known for years that the one person she could count on in all of Ooo was Finn. She could always look to him to do what she needed–what the _world_ needed–with no thought of himself. Now he was checking out. What the fuck were they going to do _now_? And what was she going to say? Forget all that shit about taking care of your family; get out there and put your life at risk.

The only woman who was calm in the face of Finn's declaration was, ironically, Cherry. Cherry, who was a deep, dark sinner. Cherry, who'd tried to bend the big man to her will, twisting him to serve her darkest desires. The Princess of the Underworld was calm and seemingly contented. Which drove Bonnie straight past distraction and into white-hot anger. "Why're you so calm," she demanded? Cherry put down her teacup and chuckled. "You don't really think this'll stick, Bonnie," laughed the little crime-boss? "Hmm? You don't really think Finn Mertens has any more capacity to stay out of things now than he had before this?" Bonnie stopped mid rant. Indeed several faces were staring now.

Shaking her head, Cherry said, "let him have his little vacation. He's never really going to be able to just lay down, so let him enjoy the moment while he has it. Glob knows he's earned it." Turning to Simone, who was freezing and refreezing her own hair, Cherry said, "breathe. Just take a breath." For a wonder, the pale woman did just that. This time her hands came away from her head, and they didn't have strands of hair frozen to them. Phoebe's head snapped around to Simone and Bonnie's mortal enemy. "Breathe," Cherry whispered. It was almost hypnotic. Spellbound, Phoebe, who'd spent most of dinner standing, dropped onto the wooden bench with a rather solid _thump_.

"We're going to be ok, girls," Cherry said. "If anybody can find a cure for our little problem, it's our husband. Let him do what he needs to do. In the meantime, we've all got work to do." Drew sighed, "I still want to check him out. I'm..." "You're a doctor," Cherry interrupted. "That's fine. Just don't make it an obsession."

 **Took me a couple of tries to write this. I had to restart a couple of times because I didn't like the direction the words were taking me. Now I've finally got these two chapters in a form that I'm satisfied with. Hopefully, these two chapters were worth the wait.**


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11:

He was a father. The tall man stared into the darkness, and he knew his face was unreadable because he felt empty. He was a father, and he'd had no earthly idea. He was keeping a stopper on his emotions right now because they threatened to run away with him. Raised by his mother all by her lonesome, he had a lot of trouble keeping a handle on his emotions. They often got him into trouble, and they'd done a lot of damage to his relationships over the years of his life. Just as they threatened to do now.

"I was a fool," murmured Constance. "I played a stupid game and won a stupid prize." It was the thing in her Kingdom. She knew a whole lot of women did this. They wanted that man to pop the question. They wanted him to settle down. With them. They wanted the fairy-tale wedding when they so clearly didn't deserve the white dress. And men were so trusting. If a woman told them something, they wanted very much to believe it. Like millions of women before her, she'd aimed to coerce what she wanted out of him. What she didn't understand was why he'd come back at all. He'd been free.

Marshall Lee Abadeer gave vent to a dark chuckle. "I was free," he muttered. "Free to continue being the same old asshole..." Constance flinched at that damning self-assessment. "I had everything a man really needs," he rumbled. "I had a good life and the love of a good woman. And all I wanted to do was run away. All I could see was that I was going to live forever... and you were going to die and leave me alone again... I did what I always do... what mom taught me. I ran away from happiness because I was afraid of being hurt... After, I was trying to get control of this... thing that's inside me..."

Constance found herself staring at the floor. She hadn't known any of that. She hadn't any idea what that felt like or what to do with it. Marshall turned to face her and said, "look at me." The older woman looked up at him with a bleak expression on her face. He wasn't the only one to find something unexpected in what was supposed to be a cheap thrill. She'd come into this with the idea of banging Finn's son. She'd missed out on the man himself, and she knew it.

Like so many pretty women, she'd had her pick of boys fighting each other to have her affections when she was a teen. Later, she'd had them fighting over the chance to share her bed. A woman got to liking that fairly quickly. Unfortunately, she had chased boys and fun for much too long. Honestly, she'd been expecting that marriage bed to remain a dust-caked, empty eye-sore in the middle of her quarters until she eventually had to step down in favor of a cousin or distant relative.

When love had blossomed between them out of all likelihood and reason, she'd rejoiced, and she'd been devastated when the young man she'd been so infatuated with had run off again. Constance Leyton had called him jerk and asshole and douchebag and any of a number of insults in private moments, and she'd excoriated him in public, claiming he'd wronged her. Now she hadn't any real hope of fixing things, so it came as something of a shock when she found love and affection staring back. Along with something else.

"I'm going to make you an offer, Connie," said the tall man. "I offer my gift. Eternity. Join me. A child needs his mother's love." "And the alternative," she asked, "you give me Tamerlane. You leave my life–our lives–never to return. A man needs discipline–the discipline only a father can give. I see that now." The pretty princess flushed to her hair. At the same time, she existed in a state of shock. When she'd gotten his call, she hadn't known whether to answer or have him arrested on sight. She certainly hadn't expected this.

Shocking her even more, Marshall said, "you need time to think..." Hugging her gingerly, he turned and walked away, fading from view within just a few steps. Like his mother. Constance shivered. He was asking her to become a vampire–a creature of ineffable damnation. He'd couched it in such clean and elegant terms. There had been such love in his voice.

And she was tempted. So very tempted.

They would share eternity. Eternity. An eternity of craving blood. Never aging, said a voice from deep inside. An eternity of living away from the sun. You're a party-girl, Constance, the voice reminded her. Always have been. You love the late nights.

Elsewhere, as Constance fought with herself over the answer she would give Marshall, Simone Mertens returned to her quarters in the Grand Master's Palace to find her mother asleep on the couch, looking thoroughly wrung out. She'd spent half the afternoon yawning and nodding in and out until Simone told her to go upstairs and take a nap. Instead, of returning, she'd likely just passed out and spent the entire time here. That was becoming worrisome. Something was definitely wrong, and Simone had a sneaking suspicion about what that something was. Squatting beside the couch, the Ice Queen shook Betty gently, and the older woman came awake with a start.

"I thought you were going to stay in the library," Betty yawned. "I did," Simone replied. Staring around her, Betty belatedly realized that she'd fallen deeply asleep and had been here all afternoon. Flushing to her hair, she apologized profusely. Simone waved that away. Her eyes were on the marks on her mother's neck–revealed by the loose tee-shit she was wearing. Seeing where her eyes were going, Betty reached for her sweater, but Simone's hand stopped her. "I'm sorry," she started to say.

"For what," Betty interrupted. "For being angry at the feminazi bitch that wrecked your marriage?" Blushing, Simone glanced down at the floor. Taking the younger woman by the wrist, Betty pulled her onto the couch. "We need to talk," she said. "To clear the air." Simone nodded absently, but she kept on looking straight ahead. "Look at me," rumbled Betty. Slowly Simone turned to face her. There was no judgement there. There was no anger. Strangely enough, she found peace staring back.

"I wanted children," said Betty. "That's kind of a crazy notion, but I wanted children. Plural. Deep, deep down inside, where I often feared to look, I wanted a handsome little boy and a beautiful little girl..." Simone stared at her in puzzlement. "When I was a kid, I thought about it often," said Betty. "Before my momma threw daddy out of the house. Before she convinced me that he was an abusive shit who spat on the ground we walked on. Later on, I got convinced that being a mother was a shitty life for women with no imagination. People who needed my youth and my enthusiasm needed me to push their agendas... You see, that's kind of how I grew up, Simone. I was going to change the world, but in reality I was everybody's little puppet."

It was kind of ironic in a way. She'd fought for what she thought was equality with men and found herself far more equal than she'd ever imagined. She'd found her equality staring back at her in the Lich's old lair, for if anybody knew what it was like to fight other people's battles and to be a figurative puppet for the powerful, that was Finn Mertens. She'd devoted most of her life to fighting other people's battles, and she'd missed out on pretty much everything that was important. Somehow she'd arrived here, and she'd gotten a second chance with the man she'd been shacked-up with.

"It was a second chance," sighed Betty, "but I... I was deeply involved in throwing away my second chance too." Turning to face the young woman beside her, she reached out and stroked Simone's beautiful, flawless face. "Call it Fate," she said. "Call it God. Call it whatever you want... I ended up with the perfect family. I had Simon. I had Patrick... and I had you." Simone flushed and very nearly flinched away from her. She'd been that way herself when her father wanted to hug her. She'd been very much afraid of him–of his disapproval. "I have a long way to go, baby," she sighed. "To prove to you that I do love you. I'm trying, Simone. I'm trying so hard. You were the perfect daughter, and all I could see was that you were prettier than me. I was so jealous of you, honey..."

The pale woman goggled at her. Still speaking, Betty explained, "Finn had told me about Simon's wish and why he made it. He told me how Simon's subconscious was fighting with the Crown, and honestly I understood that. But, honey, it didn't stop me from being so jealous of you. You weren't just me, Simone. You were better–with boobies that didn't sag from age, perfect skin, and those beautiful eyes. You had that platinum blonde hair, and you were sweet and demure... All the stuff Simon never really had with me. I... was jealous of you. Simon never gave me any cause to be, and you were just what he always called you... our daughter. But I was jealous of you. So much that I did everything I could to keep you out of our lives. I'm sorry, Simone. You'd... You would have gotten more time with Simon if I hadn't been in the way so much."

And that led them to the present–the crux of the problem as Betty saw it. "If that wasn't enough, honey, I tried to wreck your marriage," she murmured. "I tried to turn you into the same kind of miserable wretch that I was. You see, I'd internalized all that shit. I treated Simon and Patrick badly. I was always pushing them around and tearing them down. You were a better mother figure for my son than I was." Face hot, Simone tried to refute that, but Betty shushed her. "I have to get through this while I have the courage, sweetie," she sighed. "It's taken me months to face up to this, and I need to say it while we have this chance."

Stroking Simone's long, pale hair, the older woman reminded Simone, "who kept you in Wizard City all those weeks and months? Hmm?" Simone blushed. Her mother had pushed her to stay and work. It had been a constant refrain. The kids were out of the house, and Finn could take care of himself. Was she a grown woman or was she Finn's dog? "I-I destroyed your marriage," murmured Betty. "Finn was happy, and he never had a desire to go anywhere else. You two would have grown old together... And I fucked it all up with my meddling." When the younger woman might have protested, Betty said, "he needed you. And you weren't there. He was hurting from all the stuff that happened that year. Your son was miserable. And I kept you in Wiz-City working a fucking political campaign. When your oldest child was suicidal, I had you holding political rallies. You weren't the fool, Simone. I was."

Betty had wanted to mold Simone into the woman she thought Simone should be–pursuing empty victories and pointless goals and neglecting all the things that made Simone a whole person. And if that wasn't bad enough, when Simone wasn't even buried, she'd basically jumped into Simone's bed herself. "I've wronged you, honey," she sobbed. "I messed up everything you had, and I'm so sorry, baby. I'm so sorry." "I forgive you," murmured Simone. Gingerly, she hugged the older woman. Then, when Betty didn't push her away, she hugged her a little tighter. In short order, the pair were crying on each other, with Betty stroking Simone's long, pale hair, all the while telling her how proud she was to have such a perfect daughter.

Of course there was an 800lb gorilla waiting in the wings. Straightening, Simone looked her momma straight in the eye and said, "you're in stage two–late in stage two." Betty flushed to her hair. "You weren't going to tell me that, were you," she asked? "No," sighed Betty. "It wasn't important." Shooting to her feet, Simone shouted, "not important?! The Quicksilver Curse is eating away at you right now. You've just got weeks to live!" After a moment spent shouting, a new thought came to her. Glaring at her mother, she growled, "I still need you. I'm not ready for you to go, mother. This is just as selfish as the other dumb stuff you've done. That. Will. Change. Clear?" She sounded a lot like Simon when he really got fed up with Betty's shit. With a gulp of surprise, Betty nodded.

Morning found Constance Leyton walking into the formal audience chamber where she frequently met her kingdom's governing council. Today she'd come wearing full formal regalia because she was facing her hostile councilors over the most important decision she'd ever had to make. As the doors shut behind her, the still youthful princess reflected on that. Relations had been strained for more than a year. More than one councilor had been suggesting she step down. She was the 'party princess', and everyone knew it. It wasn't the first she'd attracted scandal. A threat of jail and a fat bribe had covered the other. This wasn't a sex-tape though. This was an illegitimate child.

Reaching the conference table, Constance slipped into her chair. Her eyes met those of the prominent men on her council one by one. She was not going to be intimidated today. Coolly she motioned for her secretary to hand out the draft talking points Marshall had outlined for her the previous night. Silence reigned as those unhappy men read what was put before them. After giving them a few moments, Constance opened with, "you've all seen the Vampire King's offer. What are your thoughts?"

The room erupted then, with half the council wanting to arrest the Vampire King on sight for 'seduction most vile' and 'defilement', both of which carried the death penalty as a matter of course in staid Engagement Ring Kingdom. Others would have thrown their princess on the pile too. Still others wanted to know what such an arrangement meant for the kingdom. It was one thing to see the Princess finally married. Nearly everyone had a vested interest in seeing their ruler no longer living in sin. At the same time, they would be welcoming the Vampire King into their midst.

Constance decided to focus on that question. She'd been thinking long and hard about it all night. Calmly, she said, "if we go down this road, it means that I become Dowager. I cease to be the monarch and instead become Regent–to step down when Tamerlane comes of age." She'd thought that was pretty clear and pretty obvious, but apparently that was even more of a shock than Marshall's offer. The room erupted once more, with various members of the council shouting at each other. The complaints were focused on a singular issue. Nobody wanted Marshall Lee Abadeer, the Lord of the Undead, to have power over their kingdom. Nobody wanted him to decide who would sit on the throne.

Constance laughed at them. They were fools, all. "You misunderstand," snapped the beautiful princess. The conversation ceased as abruptly as it had started, with every face there focused on hers. "Do you think that this is about Marshall," she asked? The proud beauty shook her head in disgust. "I've been a fool," said she, "but not so much a fool as that." Sitting back in her chair and steepling her fingers before her, the princess pursed her lips in a grimace of disgust and said, "how would it even work? I'm... I'd be immortal. I would live forever–literally until the sun goes out. I can't rule this kingdom for eternity. How would our people survive?"

Silence reigned. Those words shocked the pack of them to their shoes. She could see it in their eyes. None of them had thought that far ahead. They'd been focused on what was right there in front of their noses. If their princess married the Vampire King, he would take her away from them. He would be making a decision for their people. None of them had ever thought that it might be somewhat different than that.

"I'm making the only decision I can make," sighed Constance. "I can't raise a dhampyr on my own. I'm... A woman alone makes a bad enough parent for a rowdy young man as it is without throwing that in the mix. I need my husband. At the same time, I can't ask him to wed a woman who's going to up and die on him. I won't ask that of the man I love. I have to marry him. For the sake of my son and the sake of my own heart. And I have to let my kingdom go its way–for the love of my people. I've... I've made my decision. Effective on my son's twenty-first birthday, I will step down from this throne." Rising, the beautiful princess declared, "you may be dismissed. Please codify my decision into the law and promulgate it to our people. The wedding will take place one week from today."

Without another word, she swept out just as she'd swept in. It was as though a weight had been lifted from her shoulders, and she honestly felt like singing. After long years without a man to call her own, she was a wife and a mother both, and she felt like singing. She'd agonized over a decision that really didn't need to be made. At the end of the day, was there any other choice? She was a fool in love, and she would follow Marshall until the end of time.

Walking down the hall from the council chamber towards her private quarters, pale blue lips pursed in thought, she considered how she would tell her lover. She had missed him so badly, and now she wanted to sink all her time–all her tomorrows–into his. As she was fumbling for her phone for the tenth time, a force snatched her from her feet, hauling her up into the shadows of the massive atrium outside the council chambers. When she might have screamed, something soft and moist occupied her lips. An irresistible force pinned her to the wall high up in the darkness.

She felt the familiar pricking of sharpened fangs against her tongue and the familiar feel of rough hands on her ass. "Oh, my darling," she sighed, as she wrapped her arms around him. She felt Marshall's hand slide down her leg and then up pushing her skirt before it. His sly fingers slipped delicately along her thigh and then up under her dress. Skin on skin, he caressed her creamy flesh above her deep grey stockings. His free hand held her feverish body to his, as she wondered what this would have looked like. It was a mad thought–the princess dangling perilously far above the floor of the palace as an invisible man ravished her. His strong right hand squeezed her ass, finding the round globe of her butt a little plumper than before.

He'd been listening. She now realized he'd been listening to the council meeting. He'd been there the whole time! His lips glided along her throat–his sharp fangs teasing her skin–as his left hand teased at the crotch of her panties. Would he do it now?! Was he planning to change her now?! She was scared and ashamed and shockingly horny all at once. From a high where she'd been getting ridden pretty much every day–Marshall never seemed to get tired of screwing the shit out of her–she'd gone to nothing, and she'd been damaged goods after that with a baby on her hip.

Marshall teased her a long few minutes, his finger brushing her snatch through her increasingly soggy drawers, but never going any further. "Baby," she whined. "Please..." She could almost imagine the evil smirk on her man's face as he snatched those drippy drawers off her, letting them fall seventy feet to the floor below. Moments later, he had his mouth wrapped around her left booby, and he was starting to ease his big, fat dick into her hungry snatch. "M-Marshy," she whined. The nasty young man stuffed a rag in her mouth. Nobody needed to know what was happening. In point of fact, he could hear her loser councilmen coming down the hall. It gave him a thrill when he felt one of them stop far below them. He knew exactly what the fat fool was looking at.

It was kind of a thrill banging their princess right above their heads, while they pondered how those silky panties had ended up on the floor in the hallway. Taking his time, he slowly got his slutty woman heated up, easing his fat pecker in and slowly pulling it out again. His strong hands caressed her feverish flesh, leeching the heat from her hot body and covering her skin with gooseflesh, while she whined and wailed into the gag. Pressing her back against the hard stone of the atrium's dome, the tall man began to go a little faster, still teasing her, occasionally stopping to grind his dick around inside her or to play with those plump boobies. They were nicer than before, and he sometimes tasted a dribble of milk when he gave them a particularly hard suck.

Constance clawed at his back, breaking two nails as her monstrous lover had his way with her. Where her cabinet could have seen them, if they only bothered to look up. She could hear their voices coming from far below as they wondered what had happened to her. They were talking about turning the palace upside down. She had a blinding orgasm that left her breathless as her fat Prime Minister personally took charge of hunting for her. Another one came up quickly as she heard them all running off in different directions. Marshall continued to ride her hard as he'd ever done it before–so rough she was sure there would be bruises–probably matching the coffered ceiling of the dome. As her third orgasm blew up behind her eyes, she felt him shoot off in her, and she yelped as she realized that she wasn't using protection. She was off the pill! We're getting married, idiot, she told herself.

Marshall plucked the gag from her mouth, and she pinched his cheek. "Bastard," she growled. "I thought it was husband," he teased. "You can be both," she retorted. Gathering her wits, she said, "now I have to go explain all this." "Ah," he said. "Why explain? Just show up and pretend like nothing happened. It'll fuck with their heads." That actually made her giggle. It was sooo Marshall. They were going to have a lot of fun together. For Eternity.

Back in the Candy Kingdom, Marshall's father put up the mop and bucket he'd been using before consulting his list. The house was clean. The kids were fed. He'd finished off the most important pieces of his regimented routine. Taking a break, Finn sat himself on the couch. It felt... odd. Simone and Emeraude were both gone. That was part of it. He felt as though he had still somehow lost the twin loves of his life. At the same time, he was restless. He'd cleaned house twice, but that was failing to occupy him. Even with little Cole here, he was starting to feel a little bored. Honestly, he could see how Simone got bored. She'd been here doing this for nearly two decades. He'd been tempted to go down to Riley's place, but he felt like he'd get tempted to drink. He wouldn't do that to his boys.

And the girls needed him here.

There was a lot of shit going on, and his ladies were in the thick of things. With a buttload of babies about to be born, somebody needed to hold down the fort. Phoebe had been neglecting work over Cole after all. With Finn watching the kids, Phoebes and Cherry could both work. That would help Bonnie get control of the world and get things quiet again. "And then you get to see more of them," he murmured. He just needed patience. And if he was missing the crazy sex right now, well he had memories to carry him awhile.

He'd been thinking lately of taking the Finn-show on the road. He wanted to see his ladies, and they sort of couldn't afford to come to him. He could go to them though. It was a better solution than going to Riley's to stare at other women's boobies. He had it almost down in his mind what he wanted to do. Cook them dinner. Massage their feet or whatever. Pamper them. Of course he had to figure out how to handle his boys. Van was becoming much easier. His lungs were healthier, and his little body was handling being sick lots better. Cole was still having major issues though, and Finn wasn't sure he could travel.

As his mind worked its way down through those thoughts, knocking at the door announced he had a visitor. Rising, the big man glanced at his boys before heading downstairs to the entry. His visitor was still knocking when he reached the door, and Finn opened the door, announcing, "hello?" Sarah immediately threw herself on him, pressing her feverishly hot form into his. Before he could say a word, he had her hot lips pressed against his and her tongue in his mouth. Startled, Finn backpedaled, backing up into the storage vault. The sex-doll started grinding her hips against his, and, in spite of his surprise, Finn really couldn't help being turned on. After all, this was Bonnie, the great love of his life, but without all the inhibitions that kept her from doing things like this. Sarah could do whatever she wanted, and what she wanted was to fuck his eyeballs out.

Breaking contact, the android breathed, "I just got back. I had to see you... to see you were alright..." Finn opened his mouth to answer that, and got a mouthful of tongue once again. Turning the tables, the big man pinned her against the heavy vault door. Slipping an arm around her middle, he stuck his hand down the front of the jeans she was wearing and began teasing her joy-button. Throwing back her head, the sex-machine whined, "baby, I missed you!" He could feel that. She was already really slick. Sarah opened her legs to give him access and even unbuttoned the front of her jeans.

The big man nibbled at her ear, whispering, "missed you too." And, of course, it was nice to be greeted with pussy instead of punches. Hips wriggling around, Sarah said, "I let them cut in front of me, baby. I need it bad..." Finn flushed. Sarah hadn't gotten nearly as much lovin' as the others had before he headed off to deal with boneface. As she wriggled out of her pants and the dowdy mom-panties she'd worn on the island, Finn wrestled his dong out of his pants Before she could really even get her pants out of the way, he pushed her back up against the wall, grabbed that magnificent ass and pulled it back towards him, and plugged her good.

"Aaaah," wailed the sex-droid. All circuits were in overload as her hubby began to screw her like never before. Reaching around her, he slipped his hands up under her sweater, grabbed her plump boobies, and started playing with them, squeezing and caressing them roughly, while he bit and sucked at her neck. "Don't you do that," wailed Sarah. Every time he gave her a hickey like that, it took forever to heal.

Meanwhile, down the road, Bonnie's limousine turned off the highway and onto the lonely, empty road where the treehouse now sat. Inside, the Candy Monarch sat with her best friend, almost sister, and sometimes lover. They had come out here somewhat on a lark. Marceline had just shown up at Bonnie's door like she so often did. Fresh out of the Night-O-Sphere and stinking a little of brimstone, the Princess of Darkness had just stepped into Bonnie's office, sat down, and started chatting like she did that every day. The two had chatted for over an hour, with Marceline doing that annoying thing she so often did.

She was going commando today, with no panties or bra in sight. Sitting there in Bonnie's guest chair, legs crossed in mannish fashion, showing off the vile piercing she had in her snatch, with her boobies wobbling around with every move she made, she had sort of gotten Bonnie a bit horny. One thing had sort of led to another, and they'd ended up in the limo, riding out to Finn's house.

The limousine pulled up to the end of the driveway and stopped. "Treehouse, Your Highness," the driver announced. "You sure you want to do this," Marceline asked? She'd been, more or less, asking that question since they set out. Bonnie had come close to turning around a couple of times and even closer to telling her to stick a sock in it. At the same time, she wanted things to be out in the open with their husband. All of it. The whole crazy thing had been on a slow simmer since Finn turned sixteen, and things had only gotten worse since he turned eighteen and started out with Simone. She had done a pretty thorough job of making Finn a headcase, when he'd only been expressing natural urges and desires.

Then she had to add in the fact that she had reacted not at all well to his decision to stand down from his soldiering-biz right when she wanted him on the front lines the most. Finn had done exactly what she'd so often said a 'man' did. He'd rationally analyzed his situation, determined all the paths forward and weighed the pros and cons of all the alternate solutions in terms of their future outcomes and the costs to his family. He'd come to a startlingly logical answer, and when she once thought about it, she knew he was right. This was bigger than a man running around bashing things with his trusty sword. This required serious diplomacy to fix. What was he going to do? Go beat up Wildberry?

He was giving them space to try to work through the problems without violence, something more manly than the burliest fighter out of Warrior Kingdom. He was not only getting out of the way, he was offering them what they needed most. He was supporting them, so they could focus. He was taking the burden of securing a cure. He was taking the burden of the kids. Cherry had been right all along, and Bonnie was ashamed of the way she'd reacted. She wanted to reward him. She wanted to reward him for all he'd done for them–all the sacrifices.

"I thought you said you wanted to come clean," muttered the candy monarch. "I do," retorted the Goth-girl, "but I don't see what's sexy about two watermelons rolling around on the floor. If we're putting on a show, shouldn't we be... I dunno... in a condition where he can join in?"

That gave Bonnie pause. Her best friend/sister/girlfriend was right in a way. There were moments where she felt about as unsexy as it was possible to get. At the same time, Finn had a way of looking at her pregnant body that said he didn't really give two damns. He wanted her anyway. Resolving to test that, the candy monarch got out of the car, telling the driver to come back in an hour. With a heavy sigh, Marceline got out too, and the pair started up the driveway. She was scared, which Bonnie could sense. Her best friend was terrified of the looming possibility of rejection. I need to know, thought the pretty princess.

The pair were both turned inward as they made their way up the driveway. If it wasn't the thousand-and-one problems they were both facing–Marceline's clashes with her father over her leadership style and Bonnie's issues with Wildberry and the rogue princesses–both were more than a little self-conscious about their condition. They noticed nothing and heard no-one as they went stalking up the driveway, almost in a state of anger. They didn't really hear the cries of passion coming from inside the doorway, and neither really realized the door was ajar until they were standing in the doorway.

The scene beyond the door was lurid to the point where Marceline blushed to her hair. Bonnie's body. Banging Finn like she was riding a bucking bronco. The Goth-girl had to glance to her right to be sure she had really come here with Bonnie. It was only the tell-tale fastenings at the strange creature's elbows and knees that revealed this wasn't her friend. This was...

"P-Bot," howled Bonnibel Bubblegum?! Finn very nearly dumped the artificial hottie off his lap. Blushing to her pink hair, the sex-droid stood up, while simultaneously grabbing at her clothing. She looked like a horny teenager caught at something as she stammered, "I-I thought you would be in conference..." That was enough. Bonnie had been hearing rumors that Finn was banging Braco's toy. Now she had shocking confirmation, and she wasn't sure what to do with it. She was... jealous. Honestly, she was jealous of her creation.

"Outside," growled Bonnie. The android frowned at her. "I said, now," growled Bonnie! "I don't take orders from you," retorted the android. "I have every right to be here too." That very nearly started a meltdown, with the pink princess screaming at the android-girl and... threatening her. Finn, who had been moments away from getting his rocks off banged his head against the wall of the vault in disgust. He should have waited. He'd wanted everybody here at once to talk, but he'd feared that with so much going on, it just wasn't in the cards. Now he was paying the price. Now, Sarah pushed things over the edge, telling her creator, "you don't own me. I don't really care if you don't like it. Finn is my husband too. If you don't like it, you can leave..."

Turning to Finn, Bonnie demanded, "is this true? Am I being replaced?" Finn rolled his eyes in irritated disgust. Bonnie threw her head back in righteous indignation as she reached for the ring on her finger. "Oh for fuck's sake," snarled Finn! "You're always fucking with my head! If you're going to do that, then do it, PB. Just don't expect us to take you back." The tall girl flinched like she'd been slapped. Turning to Marceline, the big man said, "wait outside. Both of you..." Marceline knew that tone. Grabbing a handful of the android-girl's clothes, she rushed outside. Sarah didn't hesitate to follow.

As Finn pulled up his pants, the Grass Sword shut the door, sending a shock of ernest fear through Bonnie's heart. "You have a problem, PB," said Finn. He was utterly calm as he said, "we're going to talk about it. Just you and me." When the princess might have tried shouting, the big man cut her off, saying, "I'd be very careful with what you do and say right now, Bonnie." The princess flinched as he spoke to her in that cold, almost hateful way. It had been a long, long time since he spoke to her that way. She couldn't go back to that. She couldn't.

Before she could run off, Finn caught her arm and pulled her to him and slipped his arms around her. "I just wanted to know you loved me," sobbed the Princess. "And I do, PB," Finn replied. "I love every subtlety of your personality. With one glaring exception..." Holding her at arms length, he looked deep into her eyes and said, "you've got some deep-seated psychological issues, Peebles. You have issues with recognizing boundaries and with emotional manipulation. And you're kind of a control freak. Problem is, I'm not one of your subjects, and I'm never going to be. We're both part of something bigger than us now–this crazy, messed up family. You have to change, PB. It's no longer a choice."

Releasing her, he said, "I'm headed to the Grey Forest. I need to look in on Emeraude. When I get back, I'm gonna' need your answer. Either you're one of us–with an equal vote–or..." She flinched at those words, but she did acknowledge them. Taking her face in his hands, he kissed the sweet lips he'd dreamed about so often as a boy. "A reminder," he whispered. "Of all that we shared over all these years we've been in each other's lives. I would hurt if I lost you, PB... That's the hard reality that I live with every day. At the same time, I will make it without you." With tears streaming down her face, the proud princess turned and walked out.

Pressing the button on her phone, she summoned her limousine as she headed down the driveway. "You need to find somewhere to live," muttered Bonnie, as she passed her wayward creation. Sarah said nothing. When her creator and former master had reached the end of the driveway, the android girl gave vent to a heavy sigh. "I'm sorry," Sarah sighed. Marceline, who had wanted to be very angry at this creature, found herself actually understanding. "Not your fault," she sighed. "It's not the first she's kind of made a mess of things." Striding down the driveway, she caught up to Bonnie. Her sister/girlfriend was going to be hurting for a while after this.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12:

"So this is the Grey Forest," Fionna burbled. Steering around late evening traffic, her father nodded. He was in something of a negative emotional state–one so raw that Sarah had chosen to ride in the back with Cole's containment chamber. Her dad wasn't the only one hurting though, and Fionna had come close to cussing him a time or two. She knew Sarah's appearance was adding to the drama, but it wasn't as though she had a _choice_. Glancing around him, Finn brought the truck to a stop at a familiar street-corner and hopped out.

In the back seat, Patrick yawned and stretched, inciting Van to giggle. The little fellow had been excited and animated by all they passed as they rolled through the countryside. Finn and Fionna had both doted on him and little Cole, taking turns at feeding and changing both. They were two peas in a pod–both excited and energized by the presence of children in their lives. It would have been cute if Patrick didn't feel so underwhelmed by the experience.

The sex–or lack of it–was a lot of it. While Finn was porking Sarah for an hour at a time in the tent they shared, Patrick was taking cold showers. Add to that the fact that Fionna was moody and becoming a little quarrelsome, and you had a recipe for an ugly blowout. The young couple were doing all they could, but things were getting worse. Patrick just hoped they could figure it out before something bad happened. As he climbed out of the back of the truck's cab, the young man found himself thinking of how gloriously awesome it must be to have a living doll for a girlfriend. Sarah couldn't get knocked up, not even by accident.

Climbing down from the back, Sarah hefted Cole's bassinet/containment unit and joined her hubby at the front of the truck. "Not too many bugs, I hope," Finn murmured, as he gave her a peck on the cheek. "Fine, babe," laughed Sarah. "It was just fine." As they stood there, stretching, Finn got his bearings. The sun was setting, and the usual raucous parties were already underway. "I thought there were no men here," murmured Patrick. There seemed to be men of every stripe here. Flushing to her hair, Fionna muttered, "there aren't many _husbands_ here, dufus." There were plenty of men, and few were up to any good. Which Finn well knew. "Let's get to Marphisa's place," he said.

They piled back into the truck for the short drive to the overbuilt treehouse that Emeraude's aunt called her home. It wasn't far, and once the truck was parked, Finn and Patrick got the job of rolling up the armored shutters and securing their ride while the two girls gathered up the babies and some of their gear and headed up the stairs to the wood-nymph's home. Fionna gazed around her in wonder, and Patrick knew her mind was conjuring all sorts of fanciful things like swinging from the trees on a rope or something. She could be hopelessly childish at times. He knew a lot of it was the ADHD, and he well knew it really wasn't her fault. At the same time, it left him carrying a lot of the burdens of their family, and it was getting a little old.

Strangely enough, Finn seemed to be a completely different man from who he had been. He was calm, frighteningly serious, and he had developed a command of the language that left Patrick stunned. His vocabulary was better than Patrick's mom, and it was difficult to believe that he was the same person. Fionna had confided that one of the big man's many squeezes had done something sciency to his brain, and now he was talking like Bonnie. Fionna was caught somewhere between fascination and irritation by the change. Honestly, she liked her dad just fine the way he was, but his new _condition_ was just one more thing for the bad bunny's ADHD to prick at.

Arriving at the top of the stairs, Sarah knocked carefully and respectfully at the heavily overbuilt wooden door. Much of the architecture in this place was built to fortress-like standards. While the homes couldn't keep the slavers at bay, they did serve to divert them onward to homes that were less well-constructed. The pair waited a bit, with Fionna scanning the scene around them and peppering Sarah with questions. Sarah, for her part, was fascinated with the way her sort-of stepchild was so much like Finn–the one of her memories–and yet so different from the Finn of right-now. Giggling, Fionna said, "so whatch'a thinkin' now?" "Thinking that she's taking a while to get to the door," Sarah retorted. Which made her a little worried.

Momentarily the slot in the door opened, and a pale green eye regarded them from beyond. "Who," she asked? "It's me, Aunt Marphisa," Fionna gushed, as she pushed Sarah out of the way. "Fionna," burbled the older woman. Carefully she unlocked the door. As Sarah watched, she eased it open, and Fionna all but piled on top of her, squeezing the plump wood-nymph like she was a ragdoll. "Glob, child," burbled the plump woman. "What's got into you... Never mind. I can _feel_ what's gotten into you. What're you doing here? You didn't run away?" "Daddy came to see my mom," said Fionna. "Patrick and Sarah and me came along." Marphisa, who was wearing a thin dressing gown admonished her to wait a moment.

The two women found themselves standing in front of that door again. Minutes later, the door opened, and a cranky looking mutant came out, looking rather irritated. Sarah flushed to her hair as she realized what they had interrupted. An oblivious Fionna simply walked in after he'd gone as if she lived there. Sarah apologized profusely to Marphisa, who had just come out in a deerskin dress, looking somewhat disheveled. By then Finn and Patrick had arrived, toting the rest of their gear. "Learned the lesson from last time, I see," muttered the wood nymph. Finn flushed in memory. Last time he'd been here, light-fingered dudes had emptied the truck of everything in it. He'd been days getting it all back. This time, he'd emptied the truck himself. He trusted Marphisa. Mostly.

"Came to see my wife," he explained, as he shut the door behind him. "Well, she doesn't really live here," Marphisa replied. Finn frowned at that news. "She lives in the Matriarch's House. Quarter mile from the jail. It's dark now. You may as well stay." It wasn't really what you'd call safe to be wandering around the forest after dark. Lots of people disappeared here. As his daughter and wife moved to put their gear away, the big man got the house secured for the night under Marphisa's watchful eye.

While Finn was fitting the heavy bars in place over the door, Fionna called Patrick for help getting Cole's containment plugged in. When the younger man was gone, Finn turned and hugged his in-law. "Heard about Madolen," he murmured. The plump woman flinched, and he knew what she was going to say before she said it. "She was your favorite sister's kid," said Finn, "and she was your daughter, even if she did ugly things. I'm... sorry..." Breaking that embrace, he took her hand and pressed a tight bundle of something into it. "For your trouble," he said, as he headed for the room where his family had gone.

Elsewhere, a trio of evil doers sat pondering the fate of Ooo and Finn's family both. Marjorie Erickson was amazed at the delicacies and delectables that the Princess of Wildberry Kingdom set on her table. She'd been places where the locals set a good board, but this was amazing. Especially when you considered that many people were in jeopardy of starvation in the civilized Kingdoms. Food supplies were critical, and they were dining on dry-aged steak and sumptuous roasted meat.

"So," burbled the Princess, from up on her throne. "What have you got to tell me?" She'd been plying them with good food and entertainment for a while, and she didn't really want to seem anxious. At the same time, there were forces moving in the world, and her nemesis had never been more vulnerable. Rumors suggested that Finn was missing. No-one was sure if he had simply died on the island fighting the Lich or if he'd been driven out of the kingdom by the particularly foolhardy madness of trying to please a half-dozen princesses. Bonnibel Bubblegum didn't have her deadly defender, and she didn't have the consent and approval of the whole of the Royalty of Ooo. If Wildberry wanted to make a move, now was the time.

Licking her fingers delicately, Sugarlump said, "we've taken over most of the important gangs in Muscle Kingdom. We've made inroads in Engagement Ring Kingdom. We have our fingers in the source of supply for soldiers through the Elbowian Capitol. We're almost ready to try a Level 4." Frowning, Wildberry asked, "what is a Level 4?" Marjorie sat back in her chair. It was time to deal, so she shoved her plate away to focus on the matter at hand. "Our fallen Princess used to categorize actions against one's enemies in terms of Levels," said the gangster-girl. "Level 1 is just snooping around, seeing what they do and how they conduct their business–looking for weaknesses. Level 2 is playing on the edges of their empire, doing minor bits of this and that to annoy and inconvenience them. Level 3 is actually striking at them and taking territory or treasure out of their hands. They still may not know who you are, but you've got their attention."

"So you have her attention," rumbled Wildberry. She immediately got it, and it was clear that she wasn't sure she liked that. Sugarlump was excited and happy to say that they did. Marjorie was a little more circumspect. Shushing her excitable partner in crime, she said, "yes, Your Highness. Cherry Cream Soda is aware that there is a rival playing for her empire. She doesn't know who we are, and we've managed to deflect her attention from your Kingdom to the Wild Coast so far." "She thinks the Thief King is still in play," asked Wildberry? "We can't be certain," replied Marjorie, "but it would fit the pattern." "Good," pronounced the rotten fruit. "See that it stays that way. What is this Level 4 action? Does it mean actually announcing yourselves?" "It doesn't have to," allowed Marjorie.

The ugly princess had lots of questions to ask them. She wanted to know just what a Level 4 action entailed. She wanted to know all the risks. She wanted to know how far back it could or would be traced, and she wanted to know what the payoff would be before she even considered it. She made the pair spend over an hour briefing her on just the logistics of it. When they had finally gotten to the end, dinner was over, and her advisors were a little anxious. "You aren't ready for a Level 4," muttered Wildberry. "Not even close. You're rushing. You probably shouldn't even be doing Level 3..." Marjorie pointed out that it seemed to be what the Thief King was doing.

"That nutjob was already known to them," growled Wildberry. "She hadn't anything to lose or hide..." They had plenty that needed to stay hidden, and Wildberry still needed their expertise to help with tackling Bonnie. Steepling her fingers in front of her, the sour berry said, "no Level 4s. Not for a while. You need more soldiers." "Soldiers cost money," growled Sugarlump. She was irritated because she had been rather enjoying raising hell with her nemesis. Every farthing and penny they took was pain that cunty Cherry Cream Soda experienced.

"I can arrange some funds," burbled the berry-woman. Both faces at the table swivelled to face her. "You'll have to hide the source," said Wildberry. "I don't want this traced back to me." "Alright, then," agreed Sugarlump. The angry princess wasn't quite so easy to satisfy. She wanted to know just how they would disguise the money they had coming in. Their business wasn't that lucrative yet. "Slaving," growled Sugarlump. "There's a pile of cunts in the Grey Forest. Completely defenseless. We'll bag a pack of them and sell them for gold. There's always fools willing to buy pussy." Marjorie simply stared at her, but the half-nymph was completely oblivious to her shock and horror. "I know people," said the evil berry-person. "We can make good bank on a slave-deal. Plus, there's usually a bunch of stupid pussy-hounds there that can bring in some cash."

The matter got decided there and then, and Wildberry put the pair to work coming up with an action plan for how they were going to recruit the needed soldiers and keep the whole business under wraps. Finally, in the wee hours of the morning, the pair was able to get away from their unpleasant patron.

In the Grey Forest, Finn woke up to the cool air of Marphisa's house and memories of being here with Emeraude and Star when his second daughter was only eleven. It wasn't that long ago, but it felt like eternity. Now Star was grown and looking at settling down and starting a family of her own. And Finn was back here to look in on her somewhat estranged mother. Regrets? He was struggling with that right now. He didn't quite feel _regret_. If you put him in that same spot, with both his wives clamoring to go, go, go, after years of being tied down in that house taking care of the kids, he would have made the exact same choice. Even knowing the outcome, it would have been hard to turn them down. _So we carry on through,_ he decided, as he climbed out of bed.

He left Sarah sleeping in favor of slipping out to the kitchen where he found Marphisa making up breakfast. "I took the liberty," she said. She hadn't had much in the way of supplies–really just enough for herself–so she'd raided his supplies to cook up breakfast. "Thanks," he said, as he gave his wife's favorite relative a peck on the cheek. "I didn't think she would see you," Marphisa opined. With a shrug, Finn said, "I can't not love her, Marphisa. I'm not even sure that's possible, but I wouldn't want to anyway." "I never understood why you and Simone never tried to undo the spell," Marphisa sighed. He gave her a look that suggested she truly didn't understand.

Moving on, the older woman said, "her formal meetings run from just after breakfast until noon. The Law Keeper _forces_ her to take a lunch. Every day at noon. Without fail. That's your moment, hero. If you've come to see her, that's your moment. After, she'll be tied up well into the evening." Coming back to the table from the heavily protected window, the big man looked his in-law in the eye and asked, "how is she, Marphisa? Really?" Marphisa flushed and glanced away. Finn took her face in his hands and made her look at him. "You presume," she growled. "No," he replied. "I don't presume anything. I... need to know how my wife is doing, and you're the only semi-honest soul in this entire place."

With a heavy heart, the older woman replied, "sick, Finn. Emeraude is not well. She is not healed from... what happened. She's not ready for this trial, and it's weighing her down... drowning her." Finn flinched. "Why did you let her come here," the nymph demanded? "Could I have stopped her," Finn replied? "This has always been in her heart. Even when she was at her lowest ebb, she couldn't have turned her back on this place. Now, I need to think about how I can make this work..." Striding towards the door, he said, "look after the others. I'm going out for a bit."

Back in the Candy Kingdom, Bonnibel Bubblegum stood at the window of her office, staring out at the garden and the massive wall beyond it. She was in a state of emotional distress, and everyone there knew it. She had been dreaming of having Finn back. Now it seemed like she had gotten him back only to lose him. And did she somehow make this work, the Curse was trying to kill her, and it was going to kill their babies, and there was a very real chance it would kill the man himself. Then you threw the whole thing with P-Bot on the pile. It had been an expediency. She'd created the android version of her on a lark–an early experiment with artificial life. Later on, the experiment served her purpose of eliminating a problem. Now, just like every other time she'd tried to play god, this was coming back to bite her.

"Bonnie," murmured Cherry. "Come and sit. We're not getting anywhere with you standing at the window, brooding." The tall princess spun around, looking like she was going to go on a tear. "He's doing his part, Bonnie," Cherry said. "He's trying to hold up this entire show. Let's meet him halfway, shall we? Hmm? Let's do our part to keep the world going." Flushing, Bonnie glanced down at the floor. Logic was failing her at the moment. Maybe it was the hormones. Maybe it was something else. She was having trouble staying focused. Still, she gathered herself in and made herself walk back to the conference table.

"Alright," she said. "Where were we?" "We don't have the votes," muttered Nadia. "We don't have the votes to alter the Peace of Ooo." And that was central to keeping their army intact. Right now, they were operating under the special dispensation of their disastrous war with the Lich. Pretty much no-one thought they should dismantle the war-machine until the ice was all gone and the great ocean current was flowing freely once more. Right now, the world could still sink into ice-age, and millions would die. Bonnie thought there was little danger of that, at the moment. She had the votes to keep the project going, but only so long as the ice was a danger. The minute it was all gone...

Her eyes darted to Ragnhild. "We've laid out all the votes," she sighed. "There's a lot of smaller kingdoms who are committed to the status quo, Bonnie. We just don't have the raw numbers right now. We're all but tied, and Wildberry even has a slight advantage. We'd need at least two votes to break even and create a deadlock." A deadlock would at least give them time to lobby. Right now, they would have to destroy the war-machine the minute the world was safe once more. Silence reigned as the pack of them thought that through. They had been going over this repeatedly already. Today's session had started almost at dawn. Most of them had to get back to their kingdoms and their business–if only for a little while–before coming back for the vote in a few weeks.

Phoebe, who'd been the most antsy this session, sat all but squirming in her chair. She was dealing with a whole lot blowback in the Fire Kingdom, and there was a real risk that someone would suggest deposing her if she got too tied up in outside affairs. " _Phoebe_ ," snapped Cherry! "Focus, globdammit. You helped create this pickle. We need you _here_ , not squirming like you've got ants in the pants..." "Sorry," murmured the younger woman. Focused again, she asked, "who haven't we contacted? There's got to be _somebody_ out there who hasn't drunk Wildberry's fruit-punch yet." "Nobody," muttered Breakfast. "All names are accounted for. Even the Ice Queen." She'd given them a 'maybe'. Right now, she was busy with some project that she didn't explain to Breakfast.

"There's one other," said their secretary. Every face looked up to Lollipop. Frazzled, and with her hair unkempt, the pretty ex-model had been something of a mess lately. In spite of Cherry's backing and advice, the closer she got to her showdown with Kim Khil Wan, the more frazzled she got. In the now, she steadied up, set down her notepad, and said, "you're forgetting the Matriarch of the Grey Forest..." "The Matriarch doesn't see anybody," retorted Bonnie! "She and hers have about as much trust as..." "The Matriarch is our sister-wife, Bonnibel," Cherry rumbled. Face turned thoughtful, she sat back in her chair, stretched her legs out, and said, "that could work. She was behind the efforts for the wizards of the Grey Forest to weigh in on getting Simon elected." Finn had told her about it.

Bonnie goggled at them. "Why do you think she wasn't at the gathering," Lollipop murmured? "She was the last member of the old Matriarch's cabinet. Everybody else was slain by the Lich's creatures." Bonnie frowned at the table. Emeraude wasn't Simone. While the pair had more or less tolerated this insane _arrangement_ they had, Bonnie wasn't sure how well that would actually work in practice. While she was putting up with them, why should the prickly wizard help them? And who would ask? "It should be somebody neutral," said Cherry. She had a history with the pair, and though she'd buried the hatchet, there was still a lot of ugliness between them. "It has to be somebody who doesn't have a negative history with her," declared the Mafia Princess.

Nadia rolled her eyes. "Who the hell fits _that_ description," she grumbled? The pack of them had tried Finn on occasions too numerous to mention. They'd all tried seducing him–right in front of her face in some cases. So who the hell could go and talk to the prickly wizard without ending up in a box? The gathered women batted the idea around for a while with nobody really able to suggest a name that was on their side that hadn't made a mess of things with Emeraude. With a heavy sigh, Nadia finally said, "I'll go. I have... less baggage with her." The agreement made, the gathering moved on. There was other business to discuss, and Phoebe couldn't afford to stay.

As the noon bell rang, the gathering broke up, with Phoebe all but rushing the exit. Standing outside, watching the others board carriage and limousine to go home, the candy monarch felt the weight of loneliness come crashing in on her. Marceline was back in the Night-O-Sphere working. Her son was spending time with his wife in Breakfast Kingdom, and Shoko was in the Fire Kingdom working on something she refused to discuss. And Bonnie was left with...

"Are you just going to mope," demanded Cherry?! "Glob! You must have been the only person who _didn't_ know!" Which was certainly not as helpful as it seemed to be. Before Bonnie could start shouting back at her, the little woman said, "get out of the fucking palace for a change! Get out of the laboratory! Live life!" Grabbing her by the arm, the little woman started down the stairs towards her limousine, with the startled Royal Bodyguards rushing after. As she shoved the bubblegum princess into the back of her limo, Cherry told the pair of officious bananas, "you can follow if you want, but do it in your own car. Girls only." And she shut the door in their faces.

Turning to Bonnie, she said, "Lollipop and I are going to a wine tasting. You're coming along." A startled Bonnibel howled, "you're pregnant! You can't get drunk!" Rolling her eyes, Cherry said, "do you know anything about what actually happens at a wine-tasting?! You're not there to get _drunk_! You can't freakin' _taste_ anything if you're hammered. You take a sip, swirl it in your mouth, and spit it out. We're not planning on tasting anything more than eight of the samples. We'll be fine. It'll be fun." Turning to Thor, she shouted, "step on it! We're already late!"

Back in the Grey Forest, the Matriarch settled in at the table before her meager lunch. The whole forest was on short rations right now. The Matriarch could hardly be seen to be stuffing her face while everyone else _starved_. She'd been fighting to get the situation stabilized because her people had no other place to go. Wood-nymphs were not exactly _welcome_ in most places these days. Not after throwing in with the Lich. She'd been hearing noises about nymphs being pelted by rocks, beaten, raped, and worse.

As Voletta laid out the Matriarch's tiny meal, she gave the older woman a good looking over. She still wasn't eating enough. Emeraude was exhausted, and she sometimes looked like she was falling apart. Voletta, worried as she was, would have done nearly anything to help her. Unfortunately, most of her Watchers were in similar shape. Nobody had time or space to hunt, fish, or gather in food from the forest. They were too busy dodging slavers who smelled blood. As the Matriarch listlessly picked at her food, knocking at the door announced another fool come for charity they didn't have. Before Voletta could open her mouth to cuss the impertinent fool, the door opened.

The last anyone had seen of Marianne, the plump woman had been on her knees before Marjolaine. Catching sight of her lieutenant, she demanded, "why'd you bring this trash here?!" Clutching a worn leather ledger to her chest, the plump woman quavered before the raging wizard. Emeraude put a hand to her friend's wrist, causing the angry Law Keeper to subside. "You're punishing a victim, Voletta," the Matriarch sighed. "You act as though she had a choice, when you _enforced_ my mother's edicts." Shamed, both law keepers stared at the floor. Motioning the plump woman forward, Emeraude coaxed her with, "I'm not going to hurt you..."

Still holding that book in a death-grip, the older woman stepped forward, step by halting step. When she was finally standing before the deadly wizard, the older woman dropped suddenly to her knees and proffered the book with trembling hands. "I saved it," Marianne told the puzzled wizard. "The ledger. I know where she put the money." It took a moment. And then every face there went hot with the passionate _disgust_ that news inspired. "Blood money," spat Voletta! "That bitch sold the sick, the old, and anyone who asked too many questions..." At Emeraude's questioning look, the plump woman murmured, "it's true. I saw her take the money from those men..." "We can't use that money," howled the Law Keeper! "It's tainted!"

Softly, Emeraude replied, "our sisters are starving, Law Keeper. They're suffering from the cold. I don't like where the money came from either, but we can't help the missing if we all starve or freeze this winter." Turning back to the plump woman, she said, "thank-you, Marianne. You may resume your place..." "Mother," howled Voletta! "Am I _dismissed_?!" Emeraude laughed, "no, Voletta. You're _exhausted_. You're falling asleep standing up. I'm returning you to your normal job. Marianne can ride my ass about eating..." Startled, the younger wizard barked a laugh. Just then, another surprise came in through the open door, cutting off further conversation.

"Hey, Emeraude," Finn greeted his wayward wife. Seeing the women gathered there–with one woman just getting off her knees–the big man smoothly offered his wife a bow. "I had been told that you'd be at lunch," he murmured. Severely, Voletta's Lieutenant growled, "the Matriarch's formal audiences are not for another thirty minutes, and I do not know of any men on the list...!" Volletta shushed her, saying, "the Matriarch's mate may attend the Matriarch's lunch if she desires. Mother? Do you have time?" "That'll be fine, Voletta," Emeraude replied. "Come and get me in thirty minutes. Marianne? Go with Voletta. Learn the schedule, please. Place a meeting on for tomorrow. Early. The cabinet needs to discuss what you brought us."

When the trio had gone, the wizard turned to her husband and demanded, "why are you here?" Coming to a stop before her, he dropped to one knee, looked her square in the eye, and said, "to offer love and support to my wife because she still needs me." The wizard burst into tears, and the big man hastened to slip his arms around her, holding her while she sobbed into his shirt. "You're still losing weight," he sighed. The wizard flinched, but he held on. "It's bad, huh," he asked? Emeraude nodded. Stroking the worn book on her desk, she offered, "but I think it might be getting better."

Pushing him away, she stood up, opened that book, and asked, "did you come alone?" Standing up, he said, "no. Patrick, Fi, and Sarah are here." It took a moment. He'd brought P-Bot. Frowning, Emeraude asked, "how well do you really understand the robot, Finn? I mean..." "You're wondering how much like Bonnie, she really is," Finn replied. "The truth is she's not. She's... Bonnie made sure that Sarah knows the difference better than anybody out there." Those words sounded a little ominous. At the same time, the android had inhuman strength, meaning she might be good in a fight. Seeing the look on her face, Finn said, "something's up, Emeraude. What is it?" That was starting to bother her. In all the years they had been a couple, Finn had never had much luck pronouncing her real name. Now, in spite of years of habit, he was speaking it like he was fluent with it. She almost expected him to start speaking in French next.

As she was pondering that, a cheerful, "mom!" got her attention. And then Fionna was hugging her hard enough that the wizard was instantly worried about little Mona. "Fionna," she snapped! "You're pregnant!" "Yeah," muttered Fi. "So everybody tells me..." The snarky little wench. Prodding her in the stomach–right in the spot that was most ticklish–Emeraude reminded her, "you're living for two, now, Fi. Be careful, ok? I... kinda' wanna' meet my grandkids." Giggling from being tickled, Fionna jumped back. Glancing at Finn, Emeraude said, "hey, sweetie, can you hang out outside... I kinda need to pick your dad's brain over something... I'll... I'll see you later, ok?" "Sure," said Fionna. "We're pro'lly gonna eat..." She was bubbly with enthusiasm, much as she'd always been. Fortunately, Sarah was on the case, suggesting that they talk about 'eating' later. If anybody would have noticed the _problems_ around the forest, it would have been a machine.

"So," said Finn. "Things are bad..." With a sigh, his wife nodded. "Alright," he said. "Where am I helping?" "Not like that," she muttered. Finn gave her a frown, but she reminded him, "we're... we've been helpless bumpkins, Finn. We've spent forever basically getting men to take care of us. It's... It's time we collectively learned to take care of ourselves. I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but I really want you to tone it down while you're here." Putting on a grimace, the big man slowly nodded. Picking up Marianne's discovery, she said, "there is one way you can help, baby. I... need a favor." "Not a favor, babe," said Finn. "You never need to ask a favor from _me_. I'm..." "I know," she sighed, "but I'm not asking as your wife, honey. I'm... Right now, I'm Matriarch of this madhouse, and I need Finn the Human to do me a favor."

Nodding, he came back to her side, sat down on the desk, and said, "alright, My Lady. Name it." Blushing and grinning, she laid the book on the table. "This... was purchased at great cost to my people, Finn," she said. "My mother has a great treasure stored in a vault in the bandit lands east of Elbow Kingdom. I need you to go and get it. It's..." "...the key to feeding your people through the winter," Finn agreed. "I'll do it, and I'll waive the usual retainer..." She frowned at the word he used. Winking, he said, "in exchange for a favor to be named later." And he leered at her for the effect. Emeraude Mertens flushed to her hair. What was happening to her goofy husband, who'd never done anything like that in the past?

The pair spent a little while working out what he was going to have to do before Voletta returned to announce the afternoon's audiences. The vault was going to be defended, and there were bandits to get through going and coming back. Obviously, Fionna wouldn't be going, but he would have Patrick and Sarah. With a few details in his mind, Finn left his wife to go collect their family with a promise that he'd return.

The family met up again late that evening for supper at Marphisa's house. Sarah and Finn had taken a brief journey out into the forest with the truck to gather up some wild game and greens to fill the older woman's larder, and the family ate heartily. Talk around the table was of the growing Finn-brood and all the kids that were going to get born. Fionna was excited about the prospect of having kids younger than her. "Boy, I bet Star'll be happy," gushed the blonde. "Somebody else to kick around!" Even Van would have younger siblings. He'd get to be Billy to the younger kids.

Finn could tell all the talk was making Emeraude a little uncomfortable, though. The more Fi talked about all the kids, the more the little woman squirmed. When Marphisa suggested that she too could have another baby, that nearly caused an explosion. "Maybe you could have one of your own," retorted the irritated wizard-woman. Turning up her nose, Marphisa pointed out, "but he isn't _married_ to _me_." Which crack really set Emeraude's back up. Before she could go on a tear, Finn shushed everyone at the table. There was something happening outside. Rising, he went to the window and stared down into the darkness outside.

What he saw must have shocked him because, in the blink of an eye, he was on the far side of the room, pulling on his weapons and gear. "Patrick, Sarah," he said. "Come with me. Marphisa? Lock the door when we're gone. Fi? You and Emeraude are backstop. Take care of your brothers." And he was moving to the door just like that. Emeraude yelled after him, but Sarah merely said, "you're in charge. Stay put." And she rushed for the door too. Patrick waited only a moment before following. Marphisa immediately sealed up the door. When she turned back to face her guests, she found Fionna standing there covered head to foot in pink crystal, wielding twin crystal swords. "What," burbled Fi? "It's my cool armor. You get in back. I'll guard the door." "No," said Emeraude. "I will. You're pregnant, Fi. Watch your brothers." "Aw, mom," howled the pretty young woman. "Get," Emeraude sternly told her. The blonde girl slunk towards the back of the house.

Outside, Finn took one look at what he was seeing, grabbed the railing, and vaulted over the side. Sarah screamed as she darted to the rail for a look, only to find that he'd done his teleporting trick. _Dammit, Finn,_ she thought! _You need to get control of that! This isn't a game!_ Rushing for the stairs, the android woman grabbed the axe that they'd used to chop wood for the fireplace, and she rushed after her husband as fast as her legs would carry her, with Patrick right behind her.

Arriving on the forest floor, they found chaos let loose in the town. There were half-naked women and children running in seemingly every direction. There were men scattered about, some looking as if they'd tried to fight the attackers–and gotten the worst of the exchange. And then there were the armed men with swords, clubs, and a handful of firearms, and they were raising hell with whoever and whatever they found. Some of those seemed to have had limbs, heads, and torsos severed cleanly. _The Finn-sword,_ thought Sarah, as she took stock of what was going on. A pair of men shouted, "there's one! Grab that cunt!" As three men converged on her and Patrick, the android dialed up her combat-program, and unleashed a little hell of her own.

Finn raced through the town, disrupting the raid as it unfolded. Spotting a pack of men who were on overwatch, he blitzed through them, chopping them to little pieces before they even realized he was there, smashing their guns, and leaving a bloody wreck where they'd been. Then he waded into the pack of men who'd been in the process of shackling a dozen half-naked women. Six bought it in one pass. Turning around to face the remaining three, he said, "this place is still under my protection. Get lost." The three ran in terror. After freeing the women and sending them back inside their home, Finn rushed off towards the sounds of more awful carnage.

He found the town jail–and E's few soldiers–under siege. There were a couple dozen men camped out around the jail cat-calling and whistling. They made suggestive statements to the prisoners, suggesting they could help them get out in exchange for a little money. Others suggested this or that pretty face in the window could be his play-toy for a night or two in exchange for surrender. Finn made short work of the lot. He was starting to see red, and he slowed down just enough to let them see–and _feel_ –what was happening to them. As he drove his sword slowly up through the belly of the last thug, Finn told the frightened guards, "come out. Your people are suffering."

Leaving a handful of guards there behind their barricaded door, the big man led the remainder into the town, systematically slaughtering every thug they came across. Near the center of town in the heart of the redlight zone, they encountered Sarah, facing off against nearly two-dozen angry men all on her own. The wrecked and shattered bodies at her feet attested to what she'd been up to. The barricaded building behind her told why she was here. The angry thugs were shouting for somebody to come up with a gun. They were going to shoot her.

Finn whistled for their attention. A few of the men turned to face him. By now, much of the world knew who he was. Several men departed the scene in precipitous haste, seeming almost to vanish. As he advanced, Finn told the wizards, "on three. Break up the crowd. Sarah and I will do the rest." The wizards at his back lit into the pack of men, blasting bodies apart and sowing carnage. As the thugs bolted, Finn and his wife slaughtered them by twos and threes. In minutes, the streets were empty. Distant sounds of hell slowly calmed down. The siege was over.

Turning to the woman who'd been in charge at the jail, he said, "I need status. Find out how many are taken. Find out how many are wounded." The young woman paused a moment. And then, just as commanded, she and several others tore out of there. Finn turned his attention to his wife. Snatching up Sarah he threw his arms around her and held her tight, while she cried all over him. "You hurt, baby," he asked, as he set her down again? "Nicked a couple places," she sniffed. The big man did a cursory examination, finding the bleeding was already almost stopped.

Just then an angry voice behind him reminded him of something he'd forgotten in the heat of the moment. "Dammit, Finn," growled Huntress! "What the fuck?! I'm trying to teach them self-sufficiency, and you do _this_?!" As the gathered people stared in shock, the Matriarch shouted at her mate for saving them instead of letting the Law Keeper take care of things. Finn glanced away, a little embarrassed. Honestly, as he stood there getting a dressing down, he felt like he shouldn't have come. He'd had the best of intentions–just to show he still loved her. Now he felt like a fuck-up all over again. But he was what he was. Her fights were his.

That was the thought that brought on the epiphany. In the middle of that dressing down, Finn suddenly glanced up. Reaching out, he took hold of her face with his hand, cupping her cheek, causing her to stop in mid-rant. "You're wrong, Emeraude," he told her. Her brow crinkled, and he knew what she was about to say before she said it. She was Matriarch. This was her homeland and her people. "I'm your _husband_ , Emeraude," he reminded her. "You've forgotten what that means..." As the others watched, he told her just what it meant, pointing out, "I'm your best friend. I'm your confidante, and I'm your shield when you're down. Your fights are _my_ fights, and your people... They're mine too. A man struggles without a good wife, and a woman struggles without a good husband..." "...but both prosper when they are together," she rumbled. Simon had said that at their wedding reception.

Turning to Voletta, Finn said, "the Matriarch's place is _here_. Leading. Get your troops together. We're going." "At once, Lord," said the Law Keeper. As Emeraude stared, her husband took charge. Turning to the handful of johns and other assorted male hangers on that were still there on the street, he said, "if you wish this place to be your home, then you will gather up what weapons you have and meet me on the square. If not..." He left the rest unsaid, but his words–and the tone of his voice–left no doubt that they too could find themselves kicked out of the Grey Forest. Turning to his wife, he said, "I'll be back, E... With your people or in a box." Kissing Sarah on the cheek, he told her, "take care of them." And then he was gone.

 **Work is... kicking my butt. However, happily I was able to finish these this week.**


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13:

It didn't take very long at all to catch up to the bandits. They were dragging captives–some old and feeble–across the rough country outside the Grey Forest. Finn had kept up a ferocious pace–one that his companions, weakened by hunger and exposure, struggled to maintain. They were an unlikely army of men who'd become accustomed to living the good life and women who had, not long ago, been far more interested in being served than in serving. Armed with motley collections of bows and rusty swords, they weren't going to win any major battles. Finn just hoped they were able to provide enough of a show that his real plan had a chance of working. _I just need them to go,_ he thought. Their captives were already slowing them down, and there was a lot of fear there. He'd sown a lot of fear the previous night. His hope was that they would just go and leave their captives behind.

As the enemy approached the wild river ahead of them, Finn the Human stopped his raggedy band of _soldiers_ , giving them leave to rest. Turning to Voletta, he said, "need a bowl. Preferably made of wood from the forest." Puzzled by that strange request, the young wizard nonetheless went searching for what he'd asked for. It took a while. In the meantime, Finn watched as his quarry did their best to rest their captives while they tried to figure out how they were going to get them across the river. The nymphs and the few men there were battered and bruised, and they hadn't been in good shape when the attack had come. There was going to be a good deal of trouble with making them swim, and even wading was going to be a problem. The river was icy from the season, and the waters were running a little high.

 _But they're committed,_ thought Finn. _Whoever commissioned the raid will skin them if they come back with nothing._ The pack who'd attacked the forest had been well-armed and well-organized beyond the usual run of slavers. They'd come with firearms, and some had been trained to use them. There was money behind this drive. Those men would drag the captives across, if they had to _carry_ them. And Finn? He was gambling. He was taking a wild gamble. _Backup plan,_ he thought? Maybe he could take them one-by-one. Maybe he could pick them off. The further along they got, the better their chances of reaching whoever had hired them, and that might really bring on a fight.

"Here, Lord," announced Voletta. Finn edged back from the hillside where he'd been watching the bandits. Taking the bowl, he set it down on the ground before drawing out a flask full of plain river water. As the gathered people watched, the big man poured the flask of river water into the wooden bowl. To everyone's surprise, but his own, a column of water nearly as tall as he was rose out of the bowl. "Well," burbled Baba Yaga. "How did you know?" "Figured you wouldn't stop watching me," he replied. Chuckling, she admitted, "well, I don't get my soap operas anymore, but your life is entertaining enough." Finn grimaced distastefully. Still, he hoped he entertained her enough that she would help him.

"I need a favor," he said. Primly, she replied, "say on..." Nodding at the far side of the hill, the big man told the witch-woman, "there's some sick fuckers over there, who've kidnaped a bunch of nymphs. They're..." "Taking them to be sold," the witch muttered! Shaking her head, she spat out a few salty Russian swear words. "You're turning my own femininity against me," she accused. Finn shrugged. Testily, she replied, "very well. Just don't make a habit of this." Issuing instructions, she bade him carry the bowl over the hill and down to the enemy's position. "And none of your tricks with time, hero," she growled. "It makes me dizzy."

Finn turned from the witch to the Law Keeper, who was staring at him in puzzlement. It was only then that he realized he'd been conversing in Russian. "This is my friend," said he. "She's going to help us deal with the bandits." Voletta nodded. His _friend_ looked to be very powerful. She couldn't have managed such a feat on her own. None of the nymphs could have created a projected image, much less one so detailed. Finn was still speaking, outlining what he needed. Voletta tuned back in as the big man laid out exactly what their battered little army was going to do. And then it was time to do it.

The bandits were in quite a nervous state as their leadership looked over the crossing. The river had been wild and rain-swollen when they crossed, and things hadn't gotten better. On top of that, they'd lost half their numbers in the forest. On a raid that should have been a cakewalk. They'd been up against a bunch of sluts. How was it possible for bimbos to kill so many? If that wasn't enough, they had almost bupkus to show for the work. Kids, old women, and a few horndog men who'd just gotten _caught up_. That was all they had. If they came back with nothing, they were dead men, but most expected they were going to take a beating for this.

As the bandit leaders contemplated building rafts to float their human currency across the river, a voice called out to them. "Hey," announced Finn the Human. Several men there got the shakes immediately. This was the unstoppable force of nature that had slain so many in the battle the previous night. Striding forwards, the big man declared, "I've got kind of an offer for you. If you'll give it due consideration." The bandit leader frowned at him. Calmly, the big man explained, "you're not really gonna' get away with this. Even if you did, the people you've taken aren't particularly valuable, and the remuneration you're going to receive for the expenditure of resources would tend to make this an unsustainable proposition."

The way the stranger spoke held the bandits transfixed. It was weird–that rough, battered face, spitting out those long syllables. At the same time, nobody could miss the bowl he was carrying, and the figure that was almost-literally standing up on top of it. Bandit and victim alike stood transfixed as the stranger came strolling up to the leaders of this ugly little enterprise, spouting those giant words the whole way. "What the hell'd you say," demanded the lead bandit, as their nemesis stopped right there in front of him. "Means you're not gonna' make a lot of money off this deal," the water-woman explained. "He wants you to piss off before we're forced to kill the lot of you."

The bandit leader and his lieutenant stared a moment, startled by the way these two had just mouthed off that way. Then, as the pair realized just what these two had said–and done–the lead bandit cursed them. As he reached for the sword at his hip, a tendril of icy river-water rose from the river, striking him like a fire-hose. The water entered his nose and mouth and drowned him there on dry-land. Six more tendrils of icy water shot out of the river, slaughtering a like number of bandits before they could even react. That did for the remnant of the thugs' courage. The gathered bandits lit out of there as if the Night-O-Sphere was chasing them. They ran straight into Voletta's troops, who jumped them on the spot, slaughtering them to a man.

When the young wizard approached her mistress's husband, she found him arguing with the strange water-creature from the bowl. "You owe me," growled the Rusalka. "You can try and spin it, but you owe me." "Fair enough," Finn said. "What do you want?" Seeing Voletta there, Baba Yaga retorted, "we'll discuss this in nymph-town. For now, you're going to have your hands full carrying me." Finn couldn't really help rolling his eyes. This was going to suck.

The Rusalka kept up a steady chatter as the big man carried her focus over hill and dale, doing his best not to spill so much as a drop. Curious–and obviously quite _bored_ –she had a host of questions for him. It was clear she didn't watch all the time, though she had watched in excitement in the early days of his pursuit of the Dipped. "Kind of got boring after the first two months, though," she declared. "You got a little repetitive, and I couldn't always see what the vampire was doing. I was sort of hoping to see what happened when all those bitches caught up with you. You left kind of a mess." "Yeah," rumbled Finn. "I'm sure it was funny." "Missed it," grumbled the hostile witch. By the time she'd tuned in again, he was back to living in the damned treehouse. "The thing with the sex-robot was funny, though," said she. That was quite enough. An irritated Finn turned, dumped the bowl on the ground, tossed it away, and stormed off.

"Does that happen often," asked Voletta, when she'd caught up? "Too much," muttered an angry Finn. Baba Yaga was a lot like Jake, snarky and irritating when that was about the last thing he needed, and she even had the same piss-poor capacity to take a hint. He'd be paying for that. He was sure of it. Women had a tremendous capacity to make him pay and pay and pay. At the same time, having hurt PB and knowing what Sarah was going through, he didn't think the whole business was funny in any way. Relieved of the burden of having to humor the witch, Finn turned his focus now to getting the former captives home once more.

It wasn't easy. There were moments he spent literally carrying them. One particularly sickly woman had to be carried across two small streams that had become raging torrents after Finn's rag-tag little army passed by. Nearly all of them were starving, and he spent a fair bit of time scaring up food for them to eat just to get them moving again. He honestly couldn't see how the bandits thought they would _profit_ on such misery. With bones showing through their skin, most of the women were about as unsexy as it was possible to get.

It was late in the evening when Finn carried the sick woman the last two-hundred feet into the dubious safety of the forest. The women Voletta had left behind with her lieutenant were waiting on them, and now the relatives and friends of the former captives swarmed in, snatched them up, and hauled them towards their homes, leaving Finn to go deal with the fallout. Taking his leave of Voletta–and offering some pithy suggestions about things she could do to help with security–the big man got on his way. Before the young wizard could even begin to offer thanks, the big man was out of sight. Honestly, she could understand the Matriarch's reluctance to return to _this_ , when she had _that_ waiting on her at home.

Finn was a little surprised to see Grid-Face people in the town when he arrived. A pair of them were on the town square working on the winch that had served one of the town's wells. They were shoring it up and repairing the windlass to get it working again. Nearby, he found a female sitting with a small crowd of children around her, and she was telling them a story. Rolling onward, he passed the jail, where a few of Voletta's remaining troops were busy repairing the front door, which had almost gotten battered in by the bandits. Finn kept right on going.

He knew something really odd was going on when he found a trio of Grid-Face people working on a machine outside Emeraude's door. "Master Finn," one greeted him, as he came striding up out of the darkness. Finn greeted that with a frown. Staring around him, he said, "ok... what gives?" "The radio-phone system here is faltering," said one of the men. "It was in need of repairs and some replacement parts. We were in the process of repairing it." Finn frowned anew. As far as he knew, Emeraude didn't have that money yet. How was she going to pay these guys? How had she even managed to send for them?

Shaking his head, he left them to their work, heading inside to see if he could get in to see his wife. It was dark. There was a good possibility that she was home and done with her day's meetings. Walking into the antechamber of Emeraude's office, he found Marianne there working away. The plump woman looked up in some surprise. "Here to see my wife," he replied. "She wasn't expecting you for another few days," Marianne burbled. "I took care of it," he said, as he brushed past her desk.

Striding into Emeraude's office, he shut the door on Marianne's curious face and found himself face to face with an anomaly. Nadia was seated at Emeraude's little luncheon table. She was sitting opposite his wife, and, if he wasn't mistaken, they were playing Card Wars. He wasn't sure what shocked him more–the fact that his wives knew how to play Card Wars, the fact that Nadia was here, or the fact that they weren't tearing each other apart. _Easy, Finn,_ he told himself. _It's not Breakfast. Emeraude doesn't have any reason to hate on Nadia._ Compared to some, Nadia was the soul of discretion.

"Hey, guys," he greeted them. "Finn," Nadia burbled. She was focused on the cards in her deck. "When did you get here," he asked? "This morning," she replied. "I expected to see you here. I went to Marphisa's house." That was where he'd said he would be. "Had to take care of business," Finn replied. "So I hear," murmured the cyborg. "Husker Knights," said she, as she deployed some of her cards. Finn flinched. The very words, Husker Knights, still gave him the willies even after all these years. "Did it go," asked Emeraude? "Got 'em back," Finn replied. "Most are ok. A lot of them are pretty thoroughly drained... We need to work on getting that money..." Emeraude nodded, as she studied her cards. A part of him was tempted to tell her about The Pig, but he decided it really wasn't a good idea.

Thirsty, the big man went over to the sidebar and poured himself a glass of water. It was only as he was setting the pitcher down that he realized his mistake. The fist smacked into his chin with a meaty thunk, and then Baba Yaga was screaming swear-words at him. Momentarily, the witch's avatar was throttling him and pulling his hair, while she screamed cuss words at him in Russian. "Cerebral Blood Storm," burbled Emeraude, as if she saw her husband being pummeled by a glass of water every day.

Finn cussed the witch in return, and the Matriarch quirked an eye at the sound of Grid-Person speech coming out of his mouth. "Nano-bugs," she asked? "Nope," said Nadia. "Can't make him speak in tongues. That was the witch's doing. Silo of Truth." "Dammit," growled Emeraude, as her husband wrestled with his watery nemesis. Baba Yaga had plugged his nose now, and he was spitting water everywhere, even as he cussed her back. With a heavy sigh, Emeraude lay her cards down on the table face-up. "Hmm," burbled the cyborg. "Well, you've got my strategy," growled Emeraude. "Are you going to play? Hey! Keep it down, Finn! What the fuck?!" "They're just working some stuff out," said Nadia. Laying her cards down, she said, "I guess I'll end my turn there. Your move."

Baba Yaga was bashing Finn in the head now, and he was getting a little irritated by that. Which said nothing of the fact that she was all but trying to drown him. Grasping the Curse, he spun 360 in the blink of an eye, hurling the witch off of him. Landing on the floor, the cup bounced and landed upright, the witch glaring at him. At least she did for a moment. The next, she was making some very unladylike sounds. Finn imagined she was hurling in her apartment. "I said I was sorry," he muttered, "but you were being a cunt again." "Ooaa," moaned the nauseous nature-spirit. Clutching at her middle, the witch glared at him. "Are you two done," muttered Nadia? Emeraude was studying their visitor now. "Who's the girl," she demanded? "Just a friend," Finn told his suspicious wife. "I don't like seconds," muttered Baba Yaga.

"Her name is Baba Yaga," said Nadia. "Are you playing?" Emeraude Mertens nearly fell out of her chair. The most powerful magic-user in Ooo was here. In her office. "W-what the fuck, Finn," growled the wizard! "Why didn't you...?" "Working through some stuff," he said. "Anyways. What're you doing here, Nadia?" "Needed a favor," said the cyborg. "Huh," said Finn. Nodding to himself, "well, I need a favor from you." His wife glanced up and frowned at him in puzzlement. "I expect to see you in a few days," muttered Baba Yaga. "You _owe_ me. I figure your chauffeur there can drop you off." Nadia's face went red-hot, but the witch was already leaving.

"What the fuck, Finn," howled Emeraude?! "Y-you brought the most powerful magic-user in all of Ooo to my house?! You didn't even introduce us!" With a shrug, Finn said, "Nadia's already met her. What're you two doing here?" "We were playing over whether or not she would help us," muttered the Grid-Face Princess. "Help with _what_ ," Finn murmured? With a sigh, Nadia said, "we're almost done smashing the Lich's ice-island. The war-machines have been doing a number on it. By spring, it'll be completely gone." Finn gave her a frown that seemed to ask, 'and'? Taking a deep breath, the cyborg-woman said, "Wildberry will be on our asses to dismantle the whole thing immediately afterwards." Which would take away Ooo's one defense against the risk of the aliens coming back. The big man began to swear again. "We're two votes short," sighed Nadia. "Two short of a tie." They would probably get Simone, but they still needed two more votes to tie Wildberry's faction.

Now he knew what the Grid-Face people were doing here. They were trying to win the Matriarch's vote. Unfortunately getting everybody's phone up and running again wasn't really what the village needed. They needed food and fuel. These meager efforts were in no way going to help them. He had some ideas, though. Said he, "I've got a proposition, babe. Can you go hang outside a minute. Need to talk to Emeraude alone." Nadia frowned at him. It wasn't like Finn to stick his face in the business of Royalty. At the same time, the expression on his face told her that she might be better off humoring him. Rising, she put her cards down, admonished her adversary against peeking, and then went out in the hall.

"Silence the walls," Finn told Emeraude. Startled, the wizard nevertheless did just that. Calmly, he said, "what she's offering is a pittance. Not for your vote." The wizard-woman frowned at him. "We're... she's...," stammered Emeraude. "She's the Grid-Face Princess," said Finn, "and you are Emeraude the Matriarch. And me? I'm just a dude passing by with a piece of advice." The wizard sat back to listen. "Agree to the idea," said Finn. "It's no different than backing Simon. PB has problems, but the war-machine needs more than her authority to operate. In exchange, Nadia will take the treasure and invest a portion of it in machines to heat the homes of the people here in the forest..." Emeraude goggled at him.

Hands down his pockets, he came to stand in front of her and said, "with all the shortages going on in the neighboring kingdoms, there's probably not enough money to _buy_ food, Emeraude. Not enough to get tens of thousands of souls through the winter. But it might, just might, buy you the means to _harvest_ what you need." Wood-nymphs could get some of their sustenance from the sun. They needed meat for the rest, and the forest was still teeming with life.

Jumping up, his wife threw her arms around his neck–very nearly pulling him off balance–and kissed him thoroughly. Tousling his hair, she said, "you need to get infected with nano-whatsises more often, baby. That's brilliant." Moving to her desk once more, she said, "you go get Sarah and Pat and get after that money..." With a sigh, he said, "sorry, babe. It'll just be Sarah and Pat. Maybe Voletta, if you can spare her. I kinda' gotta' go pay a debt." Baba Yaga didn't like to wait. Nodding, his wife thanked him. Smiling, Finn turned and got on his way.

Hours later, an irritated Nadia walked into the cockpit of the small airship she'd come in. Finn was already sitting at the controls, waiting on her. "I had her fucking eating out of my hand," groused the cyborg. "This is a more equitable deal, Nadia," Finn replied. She glared at him. She'd been astonished when the forcefield popped up, blocking her from listening to the conversation. She dearly wanted to know what had gotten said. "I have half a mind to make you walk," she muttered. "And miss getting the last vote you need," he replied mildly? Her face snapped over to his. "Baba Yaga is a Royal," Finn reminded her, "and, if anybody understands the risks of having the aliens come back..." "...it's her," muttered Nadia, as she nodded thoughtfully. "Damn," she muttered. "Now I can't slap you for being a shit." "Got my beating already," he sighed. He was still dreading the beat-down he was going to get at the witch's lair.

Hundreds of miles to the north and west, Randy returned to his parent's basement after a day spent at work on reorganizing the watch over the Devourer. With the army spending so much time and resources on moving refugees, the watch over the creature had slackened a little, and his cousin wanted to make sure there were no _opportunities_ for alien to slip in and wreck the world while her army was busy. Randy had been right there in the thick of things, working to make sure the watch-towers remained fully manned and provisioned. Freed from the work of taking care of the Kingdom, Shoko had gotten home and thrown herself back into her endless experiments in the basement, which somewhat reduced the time they got to spend with each other.

If he were at all honest with himself, it was causing damage to their joint lives because there was nobody here to make sure Shoko rested. She would be down in the basement for days at a stretch, working herself to a frazzle and taking her battered body to its limits. Randy's father was worried about her, and his mother was _irritated_. When Shoko was too busy to go to the edge of the kingdom to get food, the job got fobbed off on Randy's mom, and she was already displeased and disappointed that Randy was even dating the water-bag in the first place. In spite of Shoko's efforts to fit in, she felt as though the candy-princess should go home to her people and never come back.

Arriving in his beloved's lab, the young prince found her checking over the settings on her equipment. Within the containment at the heart of the strange machine, lay a single mouse. Said mouse was currently covered by a fire-shield spell. She kept a large number of them here in a shielded cage, all for the purpose of conducting her experiments. Flambo helped her by casting fire-shield on them to keep them alive in the heat until they could serve their purpose. A large number of them had gone to meet their maker in the run up to today's experiment. Now, as Randy watched, Shoko came back to the control console, and initiated the sequence.

There was a tremendous flash of light there in the basement. When the flare of light faded, he found himself looking at a flambit where the mouse had been. The little thing scampered around inside the containment. Shoko shot to her feet, clapping her hands in delight. Rushing forward, she immediately freed the little creature from the containment, cupping it in her hands and cooing at it. As Randy started forward, her delight turned to dismay. He knew immediately what was wrong. They'd been here before. As she turned around, he saw the tiny creature had faded to nothing in her hands.

Her expression was bleak as she caught sight of him, and he knew what she was thinking. Another failure. Another setback. After weeks and months, they were no closer to being together than they had been before this. "C'mon, baby," he murmured. "Let's go have supper. I'll tell you about my trip." Nodding, Shoko started forward. As Randy was reaching out to her, she began to topple. Before the elemental could catch her, she was hitting the floor with terrifying force.

Morning found Finn the Human walking with his lady in the forgotten city that Baba Yaga called home, having spent most of the night in the air. The fallen city of Yakutsk was much as it had been last time they were here with wild, overgrown streets snaking among empty and forgotten buildings. As the pair made their way through the warren of mossy buildings on the exposed remnant of once-broad streets, Nadia found herself studying her husband. He wasn't the same, and that was starting to bother her. Deep down, she feared that Betty was right. They had all wrought changes on him, molding him into what they wanted, even if only by parts.

She could see how all those changes–all the inconsistencies–could be damaging what had already been pretty nice. She feared that she had been the straw to break the camel's back. Even if she had meant it to save his life, she didn't have a right to change him like that. Just now, his eyes seemed to be taking everything in–as if he was looking at things only he could see. Playing a hunch, the cyborg princess opined, "I guess you see a lot of this..." "Do you ever think about what was lost," he asked?

Frowning, Nadia stared at him. The big man stopped right where he was. "It's her," he sighed. Shaking his head, he admitted, "Simon used to do this to me a lot... especially after we got him out of the Ice Crown's clutches." Simon wasn't a building or a crumbly old town. He was a living artifact of the past–of the way things had been–and Finn got kind of soul-searchy thinking about all the stuff his chum had seen from back before the bombs. "And what about Betty," she asked? He knew there was a lot of jealousy there. "She's my mean old mother-in-law," Finn replied. "She's less bitchy if I bang the shit out of her..." The voluptuous beauty goggled at him. It was only when she saw the hints of a smile that she realized he was teasing her. Nadia gave him a harumph.

Just then, a honking horn announced the local welcome committee. As the pair glanced down the street, a rusty old car came trundling along. When it had pulled up alongside them, the door opened. Finn immediately moved to climb in. Nadia stopped him, saying, "you don't get into strange cars!" Finn pointed to the mass of greenery that was 'driving'. As Nadia stared, he jerked her inside. "Fascinating," burbled the cyborg hottie as the plant-creature steered and worked the gearshift, threading the car around rusting hulks and mounds of debris. Finn imagined she was studying their 'driver' with her electronic senses.

Yakutsk was a much smaller town in a car than walking on foot. It wouldn't take very long at all to reach Baba Yaga's place. Finn focused his mind on the coming _meeting_. The witch had threatened him several times, but he hoped she still found him _entertaining_ enough that she didn't try to smash him out of hand. He was still pondering how to get this straightened out when their 'cab' pulled up outside the old hotel Marshall had described. There was an art to what he was going to do–apologize without really apologizing. He was still irritated that she thought his life was _entertainment_. More specifically, he didn't like her having fun at the girls' expense.

Climbing out, he held the door for Nadia. When his Russian beauty was standing at his side, the car trundled off again, heading around the back of the hotel. _Probably where she keeps it,_ thought Finn, as he turned for the stairs. With Nadia at his side, he went up into the hotel, finding the place much like what he expected. Faded finery covered in layers of dust, and with riotous green growth here and there. Nadia sneezed repeatedly, and he imagined the pollen was getting to her. "Damn," she wheezed! "See what you did?! If I'd never met you, I'd be wearing my mask!" Finn checked his eyes from wanting roll at the incongruity of her statement. If not for him, the world would be blown up, and she'd be dead.

The big man stepped off, heading for Baba Yaga's strange elevator. "That thing can't work," sniffed Nadia. "There's no power." Finn knew better. Star had told him about this. Dragging his wife inside, he shut the door, and the thing immediately started upwards. The proud beauty at his side muttered curses. She didn't really like to be shown up. "Probably vines or something," muttered Finn. "Or Zero-Point energy," rumbled Nadia. "Who-what-where," asked Finn? "I'll explain later," said the Grid-Face Person. She would dearly have loved to dissect the witch to see how she did what she did.

Baba Yaga was waiting in her apartment, sitting on her couch, staring into a bowl of water. When the pair of them came in, she shoved the bowl aside, and stood to greet them with a scowl on her lovely face. Bowing deeply, Finn said, "I apologize for being abrupt. I should have handled the situation in a less emotional fashion..." "Whatever she did to your skull," growled the witch, "it doesn't change the fact that your apology isn't really an apology." "And your boredom doesn't change the fact that my wives are off limits," Finn replied. The pair stared at each other a while. "Alright, alright," muttered the witch. Moving on, she said, "come along. My project is downstairs on the second floor."

Her project turned out to be a massive grand piano. Nadia goggled at it. "D-does it work," she babbled? "Yup," replied the witch. "I've been trying to figure out how to get it upstairs for two hundred years." She didn't really enjoy coming down to play it when the weather was bad, and it was getting more and more difficult to keep it working. It was warm in her apartment, though. "Shit," muttered Finn. The thing probably weighed half a ton! This was really going to suck. "You're not thinking it through," laughed Nadia. "We can use one of the tenser-field generators from the ship. We'll float it down to the elevator."

Baba Yaga remarked, "it won't fit. I already tried it." She'd tried it half a dozen different ways before she gave up. As near as she could tell, the piano had made the trip up the side of the building by crane. "Damn," muttered Finn. "Nadia doesn't have anything like that on her ship, and it would take us days to rig something up." Days he really didn't have. He needed to get back to his sons. "Not a problem," said Nadia. "We'll sling it under my ship." At Finn's frown, the witch opined, "the oil-men used to do that with helicopters. That might work, mashina devushka." Nadia put out her tongue. Then, motioning for Finn to follow, she said, "I'll send Finn back with the equipment. He can call me when he's ready." The cyborg-girl turned to head back to the witch's door. Before she got three feet, she said, "need to borrow your car." "Certainly," replied the witch.

Two hours later, Nadia pulled into a hover over the old hotel and dropped a heavy steel cable from the bottom of her airplane. Finn lashed out with the grass-sword, dragging the heavy cable inside, where he began to affix it to the lifting mechanism that his wife had rigged up. Baba Yaga grimaced in amazed disgust at the sight of the _thing_ that masqueraded as his arm. At the same time, a portion of her could see how he could understand Yuri so well. They were opposite sides of the same coin–men who'd given up everything, even fundamental pieces of their humanity, for those they cared about. Somehow he had managed not to end up dark and twisted. Of course, all the changes suggested how it was that he managed to be so casual with his various paramours.

As the machine-girl began the lift, the witch reflected on that. With a body covered in scars and _mementoes_ of the hard life he'd led, it would be a little hard for him to throw stones. And that meant, even his _children_ were twisted. A corner of her mind reminded her, _but he isn't_ alone _, Talia._ She'd been here in this town by herself for so long, she sometimes found it hard to imagine any other life, and honestly watching him did feel a little like one of her old soaps before political activism got the better of her. Of course, back then, Yuri would come along, cut the TV off in front of her face, and tell her she needed to go out more.

Even with the help of his cyborg wife, the process of moving the piano took a lot of effort, swearing, and grunting on Finn the Human. He was required to maintain an iron grip on a drag-rope to keep the piano from smashing itself to pieces on every wall and surface it encountered on its way through the room to the window and out. While he worked, he kept track with the machine-girl on a small radio, and Baba Yaga found herself wondering how things went in her home where she got to be 'lady of the house'. That led to other questions, and the Rusalka found herself bubbling over with amusement at the thought of what that must be like.

As she watched the big man wrestling with the drag rope, out of the blue Baba Yaga asked, "so will that thing come with wires too?" It took a moment. Old Finn might have been _hours_ figuring out that she meant little Tatiana. New Finn realized almost immediately what she meant. Calmly setting down the drag rope–letting Nadia's airplane drag the piano towards the ledge and its eventual destruction, Finn calmly stated, "my children are off limits too, Your Highness..." Baba Yaga's eyes got big as plates as her precious piano was dragged towards its doom. As the piano gathered speed, the big man calmly reached down to stop it. He thought the lesson was learned. Moving on, he carefully eased the piano into the window opening, adjusting and readjusting his hold on the cable that steered the heavy mass. Finally Nadia was able to pull it out the window and hoist it into the air.

Knowing his wife was burning fuel needed to get them home, Finn rushed for the stairs, leaving the witch to catch up. When Baba Yaga finally came back into her apartment, she found the man wrestling with that heavy rope once more, hauling the massive piano to a touch-down on the floor of her balcony. Standing there in the entry, the proud woman watched the stranger–the man who called her _friend_ –haul her most prized possession in out of the weather. "Would you have really let it be smashed," she asked? "Nope," he replied. "That would be shitty. I'd be tempted, but I'm not that kind of person." He never looked up from his work. The witch flushed. She would have. If she had been slighted half as much as she had insulted him, she would have let the piano be smashed to flinders.

With the piano landed, Nadia headed back to the forgotten airfield outside the town, returning to find Finn taking the levitation mechanism off the heavy piano. Baba Yaga stood off to one side, wearing the strangest look on her lovely face. Her neighbor looked a lot like she'd seen a ghost–or gotten a dose of Finn's temper after pushing a little too hard. For his part, the big man wore that look that had come to frighten the pack of them. He was... _serene_. It was as if he got hassled by an ancient witch every day.

As the big man folded the machine up to hand back to his wife, the Rusalka finally approached. Calmly, Baba Yaga extended a hand and shook Finn's big paw, saying, "well done, Mr. Mertens. Never be afraid to put limits on a crazy bitch." Nadia goggled at her. What did _that_ mean. Finn flushed to his hair, mumbling, "I didn't mean it like that." The witch shrugged, "I'm Russian. It's in the blood." Which words had Nadia flushing. That was in _her_ blood too. Impulsively, Finn hugged his frenemy. "I don't mind if you watch me a little," he said. "Just not..." The witch blushed to her hair and quickly turned away. "I suppose you have to go now," she sighed. "In a bit," Finn replied. "Why don't you play something?"


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14:

"Well," murmured Betty, "don't you look dapper?" It wasn't the first she'd seen him in a suit, but the last time had been at one of Simon's campaign events. Since then, her husband had been murdered, the Lich had taken his wives, and they had sort of gotten married to each other. They were now engaged in a strange, polyamorous relationship that would have blown the minds of her twenty-first century contemporaries. "Thanks," Finn murmured as he turned to face her.

She'd come in a more muted version of the silvery blue number Simone was wearing–cut to manage her swollen middle. She looked exhausted. Finn knew what was ailing her–both mentally and physically. Gathering her in with his arms, Finn whispered, "you look hot enough to give me a case of three-leg... Wish we could... you know..." His rough hands grabbed a double handful of her big, round butt. Leaning down, he kissed the tops of her round boobies.

"You almost make me believe it," she sighed. "If you didn't keep turning it down when I offer..." Finn flinched. Brown eyes narrowing, she asked, "do we all...?" Nodding, he admitted, "even Drew." When she knew better. "For the record," Finn sighed, "it isn't as though I don't want to fool around. I just get tired of blue balls." Betty flushed. "I don't understand why you...," she murmured. "I'm a dude," he reminded her, "it's kinda' part of the deal..." Betty chuckled, "first time in a while you haven't been slingin' heavy syllables..." With a shrug, he said, "been working on it. New-Finn bothers people..." Betty's jaw came unhinged. "That's horrible," she howled! Finn shrugged, "you're the only person to notice..." Betty came close to tears at that news.

Finn knew what she was thinking. Carefully dabbing away the tears without damaging her makeup, he said, "Simon would have been the first to tell you... This is the deal. It's part of love and marriage." Brushing back her short brown locks, he added, "like being a melon on legs. It's not fun, but you get through it to have the cool stuff–like kids to ride around on your shoulders and lovin' from their smokin' hot momma with the giant boobies that likes to fuck like a rabbit." Laughing and blushing, Betty punched him in the shoulder as hard as she could. Hugging her, Finn said, "can't wait to get it on with nasty Betty again. Right now, I just want her and Ranna to be ok."

With Betty on his arm, the big man headed out to the grand ballroom. There they found every princess Finn had ever known–and a few he didn't–congregated within. "Lots of fast hands for my stud to dodge," said Betty. "Yeah," agreed Finn, as he kissed her cheek, "but he's faster..." In the blink of an eye, he was standing next to Simone and Emeraude. With a heavy sigh, Betty headed off to where Drew was talking to Wolf. So far the best nasty Betty had been able to do for Ranna was put her curse back to sleep for a while. For the moment, they weren't in imminent danger. She was determined to see this through now. _Somebody_ had to give a shit about Finn and what _he_ was going through.

Finn had run into Simone earlier in the day, as he'd been arriving at one of the side-entrances with his suit and tie after dropping the kids with Lollipop. She'd told him that Emeraude was going to be here, and he'd been expecting something sexy from the little sex-pot. Now he found his breath catching as he looked on his wife. The change in her life had wrought other changes. The long, ankle-length gown she wore made her mature. Gone was the woman-child who'd never been able to grow up. In her place was this beautiful, mature creature. Reaching out, Finn brushed her face with his hand and said, "you look so beautiful." Laughing, Emeraude said, "I keep thinking that you must be some kind of horny if you've got enough left after all those others..." It was meant as a joke, but there was a kernel of truth there. She feared losing him when he had so many _options_. Chuckling, Finn kissed her fingers and said, "but I always find myself drawn back to you..."

A shiver went through her, and her face darkened noticeably. She still did that when he got silly. Letting her off the hook, he turned to Simone and asked, "how is it going with the Curse?" Flushing, she said, "we put it back to sleep. I... haven't been able to put as much time into it as I want." Because she was getting snowed under with work on Wizard City. Finn sighed. He'd set out to go looking for a cure, but he had only made it as far as the Grey Forest. He felt like he was failing. In more cheerful tones, Emeraude opined, "well, you found a reliable way to put it back to sleep. I'm thinking I _might_ be able to make charms for the kids and the moms." She had the time now that her people were no longer freezing and starving.

Sarah stepped into the circle with them just then, looking a little less dapper than usual. She'd found herself out on her own with no job, no money, and no access to all the things that she'd had access to while living in the palace. If the dress was a little less natty than the fashionable number Bonnie sported, Finn wasn't complaining. It was time and past time for this change. Sarah, Lollipop, and Cherry had spent time bonding, while Lollipop stitched up some new threads for the android-girl in Cherry's place. Emeraude grabbed Sarah by the neck and dragged her face down to within reach and planted a wet one on both cheeks, saying, "that's for getting that loot back for me." Grinning, Sarah replied, "no prob, bob." Simone had to offer her a hug too. "You missed the gathering," she said. "We'll have to make sure that doesn't happen next time." Strangely enough–or perhaps unsurprisingly–both women liked and preferred Sarah to Bonnie in nearly every way.

Just then, Peppermint Butler announced that the meeting was coming to order. The various princesses moved to take their seats. Finn took Sarah's arm and headed up to the balcony. He wasn't Captain of the Guard anymore. This was Star's time. As Finn and Sarah settled in above the audience hall to watch the goings-on, Bonnie moved to get things underway. Much like the others, she was sporting a natty maternity dress, in a deep pink hue that ran towards crimson in the dim light of the audience chamber. She hadn't said a word about the unpleasant confrontation at the treehouse, and Finn had been hesitating about bringing it up. Right now, things were in a state of calm, and he wanted them to stay there for a while. There were plenty of other things pulling at the twelve of them.

Just as he was thinking those thoughts, things went off the rails down below, with Wildberry and her faction expressing a distinct distaste for the meeting's procedures–or rather the person responsible for maintaining order. The sour berry and her crew insisted on having a neutral party handle the parliamentary duties. Finn found himself in fear as the temperature in that room began to rise precipitously. Fortunately, Maudie had anticipated the possibility of a fight. She'd brought a supposed neutral party in the shocking form of the undead Princess Beautiful–the one princess with no kingdom.

Bonnie recovered quickly. With the undead's permission, she, Nadia, and Sheila the Lamprey Princess gave the gathered Royals a thorough and detailed accounting of the current status of the ice sheet. It was down forty percent and the killer robots were smashing more every day. The prognosis was good. If progress continued, the climate would likely return to normal in time for the next growing season. Fielding questions, the trio answered most everything to the gathered Royals' satisfaction. With TFPP 'fact-checking' their answers, they closed down a lot of the debate. Finn was proud of them.

Matters soon turned to the issue of what to do with the army of automatons after the ice was gone. This time Princess Beautiful kicked the trio off the dais. It was clear that Wildberry wasn't going to give them a free pass. She intended to fight tooth-and-nail over the subject of the army. The minute Bonnie and her team was off the stage, sour-berry rose and demanded to be recognized. As the gathered princesses watched and listened, she began to lay out a damning argument for why the war-robots must be destroyed the minute the ice was gone.

Invoking the Peace of Ooo, she reminded them in ugly terms just what science had done to Ooo. The burned-up wastelands, the radioactive hot-zones, the deadly creatures–Wildberry discussed them all. Nor did she let Bonnie off without at least a casual swipe. The diminutive princess reminded their neighbors of some of the Bubblegum Princess's shadier moments. Finn knew a lot of them, but even he was surprised by some of what Peebles–and Marceline–had done in the past. Their nemesis did her best to make the case that Bonnie was a dangerous, manipulative malcontent. At her best, she was a fool with a Glob-complex who liked to play with others' lives. At worst, she was a dangerous despot, angling to cement her power over everyone and everything.

Sarah grimaced at every nasty comment, and he knew what she was probably thinking. She _shared_ those memories, after all. "It's not like you imagine," murmured the android-woman. "No," said Finn. "It's probably a lot worse, and it's probably also a lot better. None of us were actually _there_ in the early days. We didn't see the rough life PB led." He'd gotten a glimpse of it, when Jake released his memories of Shoko. The Ooo they knew owed its very existence to the ugly choices Bonnie had made in her younger years. He understood! The pretty woman knew her hubby was far smarter than he let on, but she was delighted to see that he understood this perfectly. Sniffing back tears of happiness, Sarah took his hand and gave it a squeeze.

"Simone has a lot of the same problems, Peebs," said Finn. "She remembers stuff that Simon did when he was crazy, and she feels ashamed of them." The reality was that Finn didn't even hold those things against Simon. It wasn't as though the old man had wanted to be nuts. Nor did he think Bonnie really liked being everybody's whipping-girl. He was thinking of going down there and sticking his oar in the water, when TFPP came to Bonnie's defense.

Calmly Nadia's friend and neighbor refuted Wildberry's more outrageous claims. She and PB had been friends a fair number of years. Far from being the manipulative cunt that Wildberry made her out to be, TFPP thought of her good friend as a kind, inquisitive scientist who meant only the best for her friends and neighbors. If Bonnie had done questionable things, it wasn't because she wanted to hurt people. Bonnie herself took up the thread then. Striding forward and occupying the dais once more, she calmly began to lay out her arguments.

"We're not alone in the universe," said she. "Wildberry would have us behave as if we are, but we're not. After Martin Mertens and his repeated attempts to set loose the world-serpent and destroy Ooo, we no longer have the luxury of pretending that we are." Staring right at Wildberry, the pink princess opined, "Wildberry wants to believe that no-one besides Martin knows about the world-serpent. She wants us to all pretend that no-one will ever try to gain control of it again. That is a foolish and naïve course of action that will result in the destruction of all we love."

Wildberry shot to her feet then, snarling, "an excuse! You want an excuse to build an army!" Calmly, Bonnie asked her adversary, "and what would you do when the aliens come back, Wildberry? Go on. I'll wait." The hostile berry hurled swear-words at her instead. A little calmer than her colleague, TFPP suggested, "have we completed the examination of the cloaking-field idea? I recall that as being on the table at the time of the invasion." Nadia turned to her friend and said, "been looking at it, Sakura. It's prohibitively expensive in terms of energy. We could empty the ore fields in Abeiuwa's lands, and we wouldn't be able to run it more than a few days. We'd need something stronger, like an anti-proton reaction, but that would put us right back in the situation our colleague there wants to prevent. Anti-matter would give us the ability to do far more harm to the planet than even fusion bombs." It was a cold, hard assessment of the situation, and Finn hoped Wildberry saw the problem with what she wanted and dropped this pointless fight.

"Vote," howled the berry-person! "I demand a vote!" Finn's heart sank, and Sarah muttered curses. They had a surprise for the berry, but it was one that was destined to infuriate her. Unfortunately, it appeared they were about to go to war. Princess Beautiful dismissed Bonnie back to her seat. Then, in her strange mental 'voice', the undead declared, "we have one motion to vote. Does anyone second the motion?" Maudie and several others quickly seconded Wildberry's motion. "Motion carries," declared the undead Princess. "Vote will be carried out by voice acclamation."

As the princesses began to cast their vote, Nadia drew a flask of water from the Lena from her jumpsuit. Pouring it into the crystal bowl at her side, she spoke a single word in Russian. Welcome. As before, Baba Yaga's avatar sprang to life in the meeting hall, confronting Bonnie's adversaries. Finn could see the look on Wildberry's face as she did the math once more. Finn already knew the answer. A tie. A tie that would let Bonnie drag this whole thing out until maybe she could win. And of course antagonizing Wildberry the whole time. _We need a miracle,_ he thought.

The doors at the far end suddenly opened causing Finn to frown. All the princesses were here. If Star was following protocols, she would have given orders that nobody else was supposed to be let in. "Trouble," asked Sarah? "Maybe," said Finn. Letting go of her hand, he headed down the stairs, slipping along quietly as he could so as to avoid disturbing the royals. When he was at the bottom of the stairs, the door opened fully, admitting a figure that brought a collective gasp from all in that room.

Finn stopped stock-still right where he was as his eyes took in the sight of someone who had been quite literally _dead_ the last he'd seen her. Warrior Princess came striding in, looking the business in custom-fitted armor, her sword hanging from her hip, and her long, blonde hair streaming behind her. Finn's jaw dropped open. Stopping there in the center aisle, the beautiful creature smiled archly and announced, "what? Am I too late for the vote?" Bonnibel Bubblegum's jaw hung as she took in the sight of her once-and-former enemy.

Giving Finn an arch smile, the tall beauty went up the aisle, her keen eyes searching for a seat. Everyone was staring, but Wildberry was quick to seize the opportunity. Her neighbor had never been known for her interest in or tolerance for technology. The little princess immediately started haranguing the newcomer, pleading for her to vote against Bonnie's request. Indeed, the entire room erupted. Bonnie, fearing that the whole plan was about to go in the ditch, shouted for Princess Beautiful to shut down the vote and reschedule the meeting. Smiling that sinister smile, the tall beauty declared, "I haven't even heard what her proposal is..." Which had the sour-berry howling in frustration.

Airily, the newcomer told the creature on the dais, "why don't we take this up in a couple of days? Eh? I can do some fact-finding and decide how I want to vote." Finn frowned as he realized that whoever this creature was, she intended to spend those two days disturbing as much of the Council's collective shit as she could get away with. She could have been here at any time. Why now? _Because she wants to raise hell, Finn,_ the big man thought. And his girls were caught right smack in the middle.

The meeting was adjourned and the vote postponed. There wasn't really any other choice. Warrior Princess was a sitting Royal, with a vote in all matters that affected the fate of Ooo. She had the right to be heard, and she represented the tie-breaker. Her vote was now the most important vote in creation. If she voted Bonnie's proposal down, it was all over for the robot army. Bonnie and Phoebe would have no choice but to destroy the war-machine. If Wildberry lost, then they would open the discussion on modifying the Peace of Ooo. It was one of those fabled 'exciting times to be alive', and Finn would gladly have had his boredom back again.

No sooner had the princesses filed out, some to head to their hotels and others–the ones who lived nearby–to go home, than Finn found himself in Bonnie's office dealing with the fallout. Bonnie paced off nervous energy as Finn stood with his back against the door watching. Phoebe slouched on Bonnie's couch, fiddling with her containment suit. She was in a state of constant emotional turmoil, and the suit helped her keep control when she often seemed as though she was moments from losing it like Cole. Finn didn't get to touch her anymore, and that was taking a toll on their relationship. Sarah was out in the grand hall, running interference, while her creator tried to figure out what to do with _this_ development.

"Is she real," growled Bonnibel Bubblegum? Finn replied, "beats me, PB." "She spoke as if she knew you, Finn," said the princess. Nodding, Finn explained, "she was Ghost Princess, PB..." "I know that," muttered the testy royal. "What I want to know is how she knows you..." Taking a chance on escalating Bonnie's temper, Phoebe said, "from what I remember, Ghost Princess didn't know who she was..." "...which was what I was trying to explain," growled Finn. "Just shut up for a second, both of you." Bonnie glared at him, but Finn gave it right back. "Shut it," muttered Finn. "And sit down, for Globsake!"

Bonnie knew that tone. Realizing that, in her fear, she may have pushed a little too far, she did just that, smoothing out her skirts as she did so. Her blue eyes found Finn's, and she waited for him to begin. "GP was haunting Jake n'me," explained Finn. "We were camped out in the woods eating hot-dogs, when she came up and started buggin' us. At first we wanted to tell her to piss off, but then, when she told us that she couldn't remember anything about her life, we felt sorry for her." Bonnie got that sinking feeling. Finn was literally kind to a fault.

"Let me guess," muttered the Princess. "You found her memories for her." "Yeah," said Finn. "She was murdered by her boyfriend. Some jerk named Clarence." Bonnie sighed. This was about as bad as bad could be. "I know that look," said Phoebe. "Who was Clarence, and how do you know him?" "He was one of my informants," sighed Bonnie. Finn straightened up then, and his eyes were hard as he stared at his wife. "It's not like that, Finn," murmured Bonnie. His eyes showed that he didn't quite believe that.

Throwing up her hands, Bonnie said, "I don't have anyway to prove it, Finn, but Clarence... He went rogue. He was just supposed to watch her. He was supposed to keep me apprised of what she was doing. He... overstepped himself." She hadn't known what he was up to until she heard about the civil war in Warrior Princess's kindgom. "Well, that ain't good," muttered Phoebe. That looked all kinds of suspicious. Having come to know the pink pain-in-the-ass, she didn't think Bonnie would stoop so low as to have somebody bumped off, but they really didn't have any proof that she _didn't_ order this Clarence guy to whack this Warrior-chick.

"Why were you spying on her," demanded Finn? When Bonnie looked up at him, he insisted, "the truth, PB..." With a sigh, Bonnie replied, "I have trust issues, Finn. You know how much trouble I have with trust. I... I was in a bad place back then... I was trying to build up the Kingdom... I was trying to bury the toxic sludge under the Kingdom for good... It seemed like every time I turned around, somebody was trying to pull something on me... She... was very aggressive, Finn. She was making very aggressive moves against the Kingdoms around her. She hadn't made any moves against _me_ , but I was honestly afraid... I had the Gumball Guardians, but I didn't want to reveal them..." And the Banana Guards were useless against an army as aggressive as Ingrid's.

"That's her real name," asked Phoebe? Bonnie nodded. "I watched her grow up, Finn," said she. "Her mother was a king-sized cunt... She tried invading the Candy Kingdom a couple of times, but I was always able to use science to turn her armies back. She was raising Ingrid to be just as nasty a customer as she was, but somewhere along the way she ended up being deposed by some of her subjects, leaving Ingrid alone on the throne. I started out with high hopes that maybe Ingrid would be made of different stuff than her mother..." "...but you found the apple didn't fall far from the tree," rumbled Finn.

Both Bonnie and Phoebe could see in his eyes just what he was thinking. He'd set out to do the right thing, and he'd fucked up. Again. It seemed like he was suffering from a pile of that these days. "I should go," murmured Phoebe. Flint was causing trouble again, and she dared not be gone long now. Rising, she gingerly gave her husband a peck on the cheek. Finn, taken by the fear of losing her, wrapped his arms around her, heedless of the risk, and hugged her tight. Holding back tears out of fear of hurting him, Phoebe broke that embraced and all but rushed out the door.

The big man found himself alone with Bonnie. Bonnie who'd always been the most problematic of his ladies. With a heavy-hearted sigh, the pink princess admitted, "I kept track of what Ingrid was doing because I felt like I didn't have a choice, Finn. I... I just wanted to have a chance at making things better between us..." "Hard to do when the other side wants a fight," Finn muttered. Ingrid wasn't the kind-hearted spirit that he'd known. He honestly wasn't sure what to do with the things Bonnie had told him. Humorlessly, the big man said, "the path to the Night-O-Sphere's paved with good intentions, PB. Simon used to tell me that all the time." Rising, he turned to go, leaving Bonnie wondering just which of the two of them he was talking about.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15:

"Well, sailor," murmured Riley. "Been a while." "Yeah," sighed Finn. "Been busy." He had set out from the palace with the intent of going to Cherry's place to see his boys and unwind from the unpleasant meeting. That went in the ditch the minute he left Bonnie's office and found a dozen princesses all crowded around Ingrid the Warrior Princess. She'd smirked at him. She'd looked him straight in the eye and smirked at him, as if to say that she _knew_ what had gotten said in Bonnie's office. It helped not at all that Wildberry was right there in the mix, doing her best to woo the newcomer. His mood had gone from bad to worse in the blink of an eye. Knowing what kind of funke he was in, he'd chosen not to do that to his boys and Lollipop. So he'd driven. He'd driven _away_ from the palace. He'd driven _away_ from his home. And he'd landed _here_.

Pearl was on stage dancing, and surprisingly, TV wasn't here watching. In their strange relationship, Jake's pup came here religiously to watch his wife strut her stuff on the stage. A lot of dudes would have found that a little icky. What guy wanted to watch his wife shaking her ass for a lot of thirsty dudes? Still, TV seemed to love it–even to get off on it. Jake had commented on it, suggesting that the little guy would rather beat it after watching than actually get it on with his wife. But what could you expect? Jake was a little out there himself.

"I got a problem," murmured Finn. "Not those girls again," Riley growled? Finn chuckled. "No," he sighed. "It's a girl, but not my wives..." Frowning now, she asked, "you're not..." "No," Finn rumbled. "Business. I might have screwed something up. Bad." Knowing what kind of _business_ he was in, _bad_ could be pretty bad news. Shaking his head, he said, "what do you do when you may have rescued the one person in creation that you shouldn't have rescued?" "Same thing you do when you almost wreck creation," announced Baba Yaga. Finn's face snapped around, his jaw dropping.

The former actress/model came sauntering towards him, hips wig-wagging sensually. Every male in the bar stared in undisguised hunger. Every female stared in jealousy–including Pearl. Dressed in a natty green dress under a familiar white fur coat, the Rusalka sauntered up to the bar and sat herself on a stool. "Hey," Finn greeted her. "How'd...?" "Don't ask," she sighed. "I'll probably need a bath after this." He understood immediately. She'd taken her powers to their limits to reach the Candy Kingdom so quickly. "I'll put you up at my place," he replied.

"So," she said. "You know her." Finn sighed, "a-yup... I... uh... I helped her remember who she was. I thought she'd moved on to dead world..." Riley, who'd been staring at the newcomer in undisguised envy and hatred, now stared at her favorite customer. "W-what're you saying," she stammered? "Her name, as I knew it then, was Ghost Princess...," sighed Finn, and he began the tale of how he'd come to befriend and then help the enigmatic undead.

Back in the palace, Cherry came out of an urgent conference with Bonnie, Nadia, and Ragnhild to find her bodyguard standing in the hall watching their new problem. That, in and of itself, wasn't really all that strange. That was sort of his _job_ after all. What bothered her was the _way_ he was looking at that woman. It was as if he was seeing the most desirable thing in creation. She immediately found herself seeing red as she thought of Star and her many attempts to talk to Thor about marriage. Indeed, as she stood there, the little wizard came strolling up to her boyfriend. The big man turned to face the woman who loved him, and the moment passed. "You can't," murmured Bonnie. Cherry glared at her, but Nadia said, "she's not _your_ child. You don't have the right..." Cherry stomped off, looking as if she might push that agenda.

A voice from nowhere opined, "you guys don't get it." As he materialized out of thin air, Marshall Lee Abadeer floated past his stepmothers, shaking his head as he went. Just what it was that they didn't get he didn't say. Instead, he floated over to his wife, leaving them standing there watching the trainwreck that had just smashed their carefully crafted scheme. Leaving the position she'd taken near the gathering, Sarah came across the room and slipped up alongside them. "She hasn't said a word," said the android-girl. "Not a word about who she really is or how she came to be here. Her entourage swears that she's really..." Bonnie stared down her nose at her creation and asked, "and does this mean you're back at work?" "It means that my _family_ is in jeopardy, Your Highness," she replied. "Nothing more than that." Nadia cut off the looming confrontation, saying, "come inside, Sarah. We need to talk."

It was late that night that Finn walked out of Riley's pub with Baba Yaga and climbed into his truck. They'd talked and strategized for hours. Eventually, Riley's confusion and concern over the fact that he was now fluent in Grid-Person speech got the better of Finn, and he moved the conversation to a corner booth, where they continued to nurse at drinks while they talked. His plan of going to pick up the boys forgotten, the big man set out for home, taking the streets as one who knew them well. Seeing Baba Yaga staring around her in interest, he asked, "what do you think?" "Odd," she said. "Like its creator." At the same time, she felt a strange _attraction_. It was like the world that had seduced her centuries ago. "Maybe we could send you some videos," Finn opined. Arriving at his home, he found Simone and E already asleep.

Putting his guest's coat on the rack at the bottom of the stairs, the big man led his strange new friend upstairs to the kids' bath off the kitchen. The whole way, Baba Yaga stared around her at the tree. "A beautiful old tree," she opined. "It's connected to you somehow..." "I died here," said Finn. When her head whipped around, he said, "a past life. My brother hypnotized me, and I remembered... stuff. Anyways, I'm buried under here somewhere. Small world, huh?" "Very," she muttered. The big man went into the bathroom and filled the tub with fresh water pumped up from the well. Coming out, he said, "kitchen's stocked pretty good if you want something. I'm'a go to bed now..." "I promise not to watch," she giggled.

Morning found Marshall Lee and Constance Abadeer sitting up in bed in their hotel suite, having a breakfast of rich, red meat, tangy tomato juice, and fresh red strawberries. They'd spent the night dancing after they left the Royal Rumble at Bonnie's place. Freed of the constraints of her staid life as princess of the most staid of kingdoms, Connie had let the real party-animal inside her loose, and they'd had a blast. "So what was that thing with your sister," asked Connie? Marshall frowned, reminding her that he could be the least bit prickly about his family. She turned one of those heart-melting smiles on him. With a sigh, he admitted, "I don't know... I... She's been dating this mook named Thor. Bad dude. He runs with my wicked stepmom..."

She knew exactly which stepmom he was referring to. It was a little crazy how casual Finn's kids were about his various liaisons. At the same time, given the way Marshall had been conceived, it sort of stood to reason. "He won't commit," sighed the tall man. "Let me see if I understand," murmured Connie. "Your sister, who's Captain of the Guard, is dating a thug who works for the Princess of the Underworld. Isn't that...? I mean... Glob, I can see why you're worried..." "Nah," said Marshall. "It's not like you're thinking. He's not that kinda' dude. That's kind of the problem." Now she gave him a look of utter bafflement.

Sitting up, with the edge of her robe falling open to reveal that glorious body, frown pursing her pretty face, she said, "ok. What gives?" "My stepmom told me it's... He's got some stupid 'honor' thing going," said Marshall. "He's worried that his name isn't good enough for Star. Stupid, I know..." Constance would have said, 'crazy', but she truly didn't get how that whole family managed to _work_. Marshall explained how he had been meaning to talk to the dude, talk him out of being stupid, but Connie stopped him in his tracks. "She's your sister, babe," said the older woman. "Not your kid. It's... Maybe I can see your stepmother being concerned, but it's not really your business to interfere. Playing matchmaker's a dangerous game. It's better that you stand back and be ready to catch her than try to dabble in her life, ok?" Strangely enough, that actually brought relief to his overwrought mind. As they were planning what they were going to do before heading for home, a knocking at the door announced that they had visitors.

Marshall put the breakfast tray aside, as Connie floated across the room and out into their parlor. He could hear her talking to one of her dudes as he polished off the strawberries. Momentarily, she was back, wearing a troubled expression. "What," he asked? "That wasn't for me," sighed Connie. "It was for you. Apparently there are two women waiting downstairs for you." Marshall frowned at her. "Not one of my stepmoms," he asked? His mother would have just barged in–possibly while he was bangin' Connie–because she was cunty that way. Heavy sigh, and she said, "no. It's... Honey, you should talk to them..." This sounded... _heavy_. "Ok," said he. "Let's get dressed." She frowned at him. "You're my wife, Connie," Marshall reminded her. "We roll together or not at all."

An hour later, the pair found themselves waiting in their parlor for their mysterious visitors. Marshall was on edge. Connie could _feel_ it. Times like this, the darkness inside him wanted to come out, and he had to hold on by main force. She knew exactly what he was thinking. These were two chicks from his past who thought they would pull something on him over the money he had in the bank. Connie herself wasn't sure quite what she was going to do here. She'd known going in that her husband was a rogue and womanizer, but she'd never had to be confronted with the evidence before now. _But he's_ trying _, Constance,_ she thought. _The least you can do is put your back into the oar too._

Her servant opened the door, announcing Ms. Davina Ulfberht and Ms. Candace Gulbrand. Marshall immediately spun around, his jaw going slack with his shock. He hadn't seen either of them in _years_. If he was at all honest, he'd almost forgotten about them. He'd slunk out of their house like the dirty dog he was, slipped into Connie's kingdom, and eventually settled into life with _her_. What did these two want, and why was Davina using her maiden name?

Both were much as he remembered them. Davina was a little older and a little plumper, while Candy had filled out, becoming a younger version of her momma. And she was pushing a stroller. Marshall's heart sank. He hadn't really given two fucks back then about what he did and with who. He'd been an immortal half-vampire and completely immune to mortal cooties. He'd fucked whatever slimy hole he felt like screwing. Now it appeared that was coming back to haunt him. He'd gotten Candy pregnant. What was he going to do now? His eyes flicked to Connie's face, which had frozen over. Her hands now gripped the armrests of her chair, and he feared what she was thinking.

Davina strode forward, shouting and cursing at him. She told him all about how he'd ruined her marriage and gotten the both of them kicked out on the streets. She and her daughter had needed to live with her parents–at least until her parents kicked them out too. Marshall flinched from every word she spoke, and his heart was hammering in his chest in terror of what Connie was thinking. "What do you have to say for yourself," demanded Davina?!

When Marshall stood– _floated_ –there staring at them, Candy said, "you have a son, Marshy." She uncovered the stroller, revealing a handsome little boy with dark hair and yellow eyes–and something else. Davina flushed to her hair when the little girl was also revealed. Two babies. "The boy is mine," Candy declared. Blushing a little, she said, "the little girl is my half-sister..." Marshall's jaw came unhinged once again. Grabbing at his hair, he shouted, " _glob_ , Davina! You said you were on the pill! What the fuck?!" "I... it was an accident," the older woman babbled. "I ran out... I-I didn't think it would happen..." As she realized what this woman had done, Constance Leyton, who'd been bouncing back and forth between anger at this pair and anger at her husband for what he'd done shot out of her chair, her anger flaring to white-hot rage as she realized what this idiot was trying to do.

"You fucking _whore_ ," howled the princess! "You spread your legs for your daughter's boyfriend?! And then you try to come here and saddle my husband with the _consequences_ of your wretched behavior?!" She was halfway across the room, her face transforming with every foot she moved, when Marshall's voice arrested her in mid flight. " _Connie_ ," he shouted! It was only then that she realized that she'd been giving in to vampiric rage. Calming herself, her face returning to its normal, _beautiful_ aspect, she snarled, " _guards_!" Ring Guards came pouring into the room. Calmly, the blue-skinned beauty said, "take my _guests_ to the guard room and hold them there so that my husband and I may speak with them later."

Marshall wore a hang-dog look, when Connie turned to face him. "I have no excuses," he said. "You told me," she replied. "You made it clear what had gone on in your life, Marshall. I... can't pretend like I shouldn't have seen this coming." The tall man flinched with every word she said. Now she realized just how much this was hurting _him_. Floating towards him, she alit in front of him. Taking his head in her hands, she said, "please tell me what you're feeling?" "Like I'm the lowest form of life in the universe," he murmured. With a heavy sigh, she said, "that's your problem, Marshy. You've spent so much time hating _yourself_ , you don't know how to love anyone else. We're going to _fix_ that, you and I. I have faith in you. Let's sit down and talk about what _we_ are going to do with this."

On the far side of town, an irritated Bonnibel Bubblegum stood in the doorway of her lab, waiting on a special guest. They'd been at it for hours the previous night, trying to game out what they were going to do about the supposed Warrior Princess. Nadia was certain it was some sort of trick to derail the vote. Ragnhild went one better, suggesting that the whole thing was about subverting the democratic processes of the Council for Wildberry's gain. If she had a tame princess in her pocket, she could push through whatever she wanted. Through it all, Bonnie had attempted to make use of her doppleganger's video memory to review what had gone on, but she'd had to deal with P-Bot's repeated arguments and her balking at legitimate commands. Now she was going to put a solution to her little problem in place.

As she was checking her watch for the fifth time, the android came down the hall, dressed in a jogging suit as if she'd just been out on a run–something Bonnie rarely had the time for anymore. "C'mon in, P-Bot," said Bonnie. Frowning at her creator, the sex-droid replied, "for the record, I have a name now." " _Oh_ ," Bonnie replied sagely. "You have a name." "It's Sarah," the android replied. "Well met, Sarah," Bonnie said, as she shook the android's hand.

Her expression hardly betrayed her irritation. This little bitch had decided to give herself a _name_?! Bonnie motioned for the android to seat herself on the exam table. Instead of sitting down, Sarah asked, "so what did you want, Your Highness?" Smiling back, Bonnie said, "I've been a little concerned about you. I was in a little bit of a hurry when I put you back together after the Lich smashed you up. I want to check you out and make sure there's no ongoing problems." Sarah thought about that a moment. There was something to that. She did have a few annoying glitches that it would be nice to be rid of. "Ok," said she, as she hopped up on the exam table.

Bonnie started out by checking out the sex-machine with some of her instruments. As she worked, she made small talk, talking about their strange circumstances and the _new_ relationship they had. "I never thought I'd be competing with myself," remarked the pretty princess. Sarah gave her a sweet smile, as if she knew just what her creator was thinking. "Well," opined the android, "we don't really have to look at it as _competition_ , do we? I mean, Finn's doing a pretty good job of balancing things out..."

"I never did ask how you convinced Finn to be your boyfriend too," remarked Bonnie. Sarah chuckled and said, "simple logic, Your Highness. Simple logic." "Do tell," said the Princess. With a smile, the sex-droid said, "well, I pointed out to him that unlike with you and the others, he would never have to worry about getting me pregnant. He didn't have to fear being discovered in an affair because of pregnancy, and, unlike with you, Marceline, and Phoebe, he could have me anytime he wanted."

Bonnie found herself glaring at her precocious creation. She'd intended P-Bot to live a nice, happy life in Braco's home, keeping the mutated Candy-Person happy and out of her hair. She'd included the extra subroutines as a fail-safe just in case something ever happened to her, intending them as a means to transition her people to self-sufficiency. She would never have guessed that she'd be competing with the android for her own lover.

On her side, the sex-droid knew just what her creator was thinking. She really couldn't help hitting the pretty princess with a zinger. "I could give him everything you couldn't," said she. "I had no crown and no responsibilities in the way." She'd taken advantage of every missed moment. When Bonnie was stuck in the lab or stuck in her office, the sex-droid had been in Finn's bed. The candy monarch's face froze over. It took a fair bit to master the anger she felt. She'd given this little bitch life! She'd brought this bitch to life, and this was the reward she got?!

Plastering on a smile, Bonnie said, "why don't we get you out of those clothes, so we can assess your parts for damage. And we'll get you plugged in for a deep diagnostic." Pointing at the far wall, she said, "I've got some good stuff. You'll like this." There was an array of shiny new parts peeking out from under a sheet on the table there. The android-girl thought long and hard about that. She'd been a little nervous coming down here. They hadn't exactly had a pleasant parting the last time they'd seen each other, and she still feared Bonnibel's reaction to her new-found independence. At the same time, if she couldn't trust her creator, who _could_ she trust? "Ok," said she.

In short order, Bonnie had her impertinent double laid out on the table with her IO jack plugged into the mainframe. The pretty princess did her best not to smile as she typed a command-string into the terminal. The android felt a surge of fear as she registered the loss of communication with her limbs. The Princess smiled reassuringly at her, saying, "it would hurt you if I tried to remove your limbs while your nervous system was still controlling them." Sarah watched as her creator bustled around the lab, picking up odds and ends of this and that.

She could hear a strange _buzzing_ sound that made her nervous. Her mind kept conjuring images of saws, and she had a very real fear that this had all been some kind of elaborate trap. A part of her still thought that Bonnibel would never really hurt her. At the same time, a corner of her mind was starting to puzzle through a new equation–one that suggested that human emotions were a lot more dangerous than she'd ever believed.

When the Princess turned around, Sarah could finally see what was making the buzzing sound. Her Highness was holding a vibrator–a Finn-sized vibrator. The sex-machine gulped as her creator brought that thing to the examination table. As she stared helplessly at the huge device, the Princess brought it down against her plump right booby. A shiver of pleasure shot up the sex-droid's fiberoptic backbone. "W-what're you doing," moaned the sex-droid? "Testing your organic systems," said Bonnie in mild tones. The helpless android stared up at her as Bonnie continued to run the vibrator across her sensitive boobies.

Hot surges of pleasure shot through her, causing the android to quiver and moan. Soft sighs and gasps of lust spilled from her lips. Eyes closed and biting her bottom lip, she went soaring over the edge. "Hmm," said Bonnie. "I didn't think my boobs were that sensitive..." The android stared up at her in embarrassment. "Maybe I made yours a little too sensitive...," said the Princess as she brushed artificial sweat away from the android's brow. Bringing the tip of her finger to her lips, she tasted the saline.

"Hmm," said she. "Finn says you taste different than me." Sarah blushed to her hair. He'd told her that too. She'd assumed that was on purpose–so others could tell them apart. She knew Bonnibel Bubblegum was very much afraid of her creation going rogue and attempting to replace her. There were several fail-safes built into her software to prevent it. As she watched helplessly, the Princess began to stroke her body with the vibrator again, tormenting first her knockers and then her flat stomach. "I... Haven't you finished the checkout," stammered Sarah? "Just the first level diagnostic," replied the Princess. She said it completely deadpan, but she was _enjoying_ the torment. This little bitch was getting far out of hand, and she needed to be taken down a peg or two.

Both android and candy-person watched as the vibrator grew ever closer to the android's snatch. P-Bot's pussy was already wet, which was a little odd. While Bonnie knew that she'd used her own body's responses as a baseline for her double, she vaguely recalled dialing up P-Bot's responses at the last minute, sort of as a reward to keep Braco interested. P-Bot's back arched when the vibrator touched her button. "Hmm," said Bonnie. "That won't do." Turning to the console, she flicked a switch, deactivating the rest of P-Bot's artificial musculature. She was becoming too thrashy.

Now the helpless android could only _feel_ as her creator began to torment her. Bonnie continued to run the vibrator along her mound, stopping occasionally to grind it against the sex-droid's button. It wasn't long at all before girl-juice was dribbling out of Sarah's horny honey-hole in a steady stream as her head thrashed from side to side. The android moaned and whined as the orgasms piled up in an almost continuous stream. And strangely enough, the fact that she was utterly helpless seemed to just make her hotter.

Seeing her doppelganger getting off on being sex-tortured, Bonnie decided to take it up a notch. Pressing the fat tip of the candy-cane against P-Bot's opening, the Princess shoved it into her. The android shrieked. "Please," she begged. "Please..." Bonnie ignored her. The machine was sobbing now. This was too much. She was at the limit of what her systems could handle. Releasing her grip on the candy-cane, Bonnie gave the sex-droid a brief respite. In clinical tones, the princess said, "so far your responses seem to be within acceptable ranges. Ramp-time is a little fast, but peak comes at the expected levels." Sarah could only stare at her.

Bonnie brought out two of her other toys, and her eyes held a malicious glint as she carefully taped the two pebbles to Sarah's nips. She was doing this on purpose. This wasn't some diagnostic! She was doing this on purpose! The android girl was sure of it! With a crooked smile, Bonnie flicked both vibrators on. Sarah shrieked as the little mini-eggs began to buzz her nips. Meanwhile, Bonnie went back to the candy-cane. Cruelly, the pretty princess tortured her creation. The helpless android howled and squealed and moaned until it looked like she might very well go mad, blow a circuit, or both. Only when she began to grow bored did Bonnie finally relent.

"Well," said she, as she removed the vibrators, "looks like your organic systems are interfacing with your electrical systems perfectly..." She was licking the juice off the electric candy-cane. Sarah flushed as she realized that nearly everything about her was copied. She'd done that in front of Braco several times, and she'd wondered what Finn would say if he saw her licking up her own juice. She was self-conscious about it, especially knowing that Finn had hangups about having a sex-robot as his girlfriend.

Bonnie put the vibrators in her pockets. Turning back to her precocious creation, she said, "I'm going to put you to sleep now, while I do some updates and minor repairs..." She didn't even give the android a chance to respond. Flicking a switch, she sent P-Bot crashing into slumber, shutting down all of her external sensors. When she was certain Braco's fuck-toy was out cold, Bonnie stepped up beside her wayward creation and stared down at her, lost in thought as usual. There were half-a-hundred things she _should_ be doing right now, but she wanted to put this little bitch in her place and remind her just who was in charge here. "So you've got no responsibilities, eh," muttered Bonnie? "We'll just see about that..."

On the far edge of town in the wild lands outside Bonnie's capitol, Finn the Human came rolling up in his truck to a strange campsite hard by the side of a fast-flowing stream. Pulling off the road, he jumped out of the truck and went striding across the road to the first of the pavilions that had been set up there. The whole place looked like a scene from out of his past, with armed, blade-wielding guards posted on the perimeter, horses and wagons tethered up near the center, and raging fires going in various corners of the place where unhappy souls labored to cook up breakfast.

The big man's keen eyes took in all the sights as he made the journey from the camp's entry to the very center, where the largest of the tents stood, and his mind remembered. Not very long ago, this was the way things were done in all of Ooo. War was a very personal affair, and nobody had a whole lot of stomach for it. That was one thing he and Wildberry agreed on. He would much have preferred to keep on keeping on in just that manner. Lost bits of alien tech had contributed to a renaissance that left Finn longing for the old days. At the same time, it was a disturbing sign that maybe Ingrid was exactly what she claimed she was. After all, why would a modern ruler keep such trappings of the past. Even Bonnie's Banana Guards had abandoned some of their pacifistic trappings just to preserve the safety and integrity of her kingdom.

A pair of big, big men stood guard at the entrance of the massive pavilion at the heart of the camp, hard by the river. Finn strode right up and said, "my name is..." "Finn the Human," rumbled Sven Gulbrand. The Prime Minister of the Warrior Kingdom came out of one of the nearby tents. "Her Royal Highness has been expecting you," rumbled the older man. Motioning for Finn to precede him into the Princess's tent, the Prime Minister said, "she expected you a little earlier."

Finn flushed as he walked into the tent. Still, he squared up to meet Warrior/Ghost Princess. Surprising him, the tent was mostly empty inside. Far from having creature comforts scattered everywhere, the tent was mostly occupied by a heavy trestle table that was covered in maps and documents, a rack that carried weapons and armor of every variety, a portable desk, and a rough pallet in the corner. There seemed absolutely no concession to comfort at all. More to the point, there was no sign of the woman herself. He saw an opening in the back wall, and through it he could hear someone humming in a very familiar voice alongside the sounds of splashing. "Your Highness," announced Sven, "It is Finn the Human..." The humming ceased. "I will be there momentarily," declared the pretty princess. There was a little more splashing, and Finn prepared to greet the woman he'd thought was dead.

Momentarily, a tall figure came striding through the rear entrance of the tent, naked as a jaybird, save for her long, blonde hair. Her pale blue eyes regarded him with humor as he jerked his eyes away from her beautiful form. She was, in a word, _perfect_. Perfect hips, flat, washboard stomach, perfect boobies, and a heart-stopping face. Even her skin was perfect. "Uh," babbled Finn, as she moved to the footlocker near the pallet. "I'll come back," he said. "Nonsense," she replied. "Why should my savior, Finn the Human, have to hide his face from me?" _Probably because he's moments from getting a giant, freakin' boner,_ thought the hero.

The big man did his best to stare at anything _but_ the beautiful woman getting dressed in the corner. He could hear the rustling of cloth, and then he could hear the jingling of chainmail. And then, momentarily, he heard the clank of steel plates banging into each other. Looking up, he found the princess pulling armor on over her pale green skin. The armor itself was _very_ familiar. His mind went back to a moment more than twenty years ago when he cracked open a forgotten casket.

Back in the treehouse, Emeraude Mertens goggled at the sight she was seeing in Baba Yaga's magic mirror. Simone merely rolled her eyes in disgust. "Not very subtle," murmured the Rusalka. Simone shrugged. It was what it was. Frowning, the witch opined, "you don't seem at all concerned about this..." "Finn gets more ass than a toilet seat," said Simone. "You just get used to it after a while. It's not like he's _trying_ to put himself in these spots." Rising, she asked, "are you going to be here a while?" At the witch's frown of puzzlement, Emeraude said, "somebody's got to go look in on the boys while he's entertaining this bitch." And Emeraude had to get back to the Grey Forest.

Miles away, Fionna the Human Girl came into the former Petrikov house with several splints of wood for the fireplace to find an irritated Patrick there in their living room. He was dressed in his coat and boots over his PJs, and the set of his jaw told that he was pissed at the same time it reminded the pretty blonde of one important fact. She wasn't supposed to do this. Dr. P had admonished her against over-exertion, especially with the Quick Silver Curse acting on her and the baby both. "We need to talk," muttered the irritated wizard. With a heavy sigh, Fionna followed him into the kitchen. Setting the bundle of wood down at the stove, she sat down, and settled in for him to go on a(nother) tear.

Patrick sat down, looked her in the eye, and waited. That was ominous, and it had her fidgeting as he stared her down a lot like Dr. P did when she was about to go apeshit over something she'd heard Fionna had done. Calmly, her husband said, "Fionna, you have a problem. Back when my mom was born, they called it ADHD. You've got serious mental problems with attention span, and that's not going to fly very well with you being a mom." Fionna frowned back at him in her turn. That sounded perilously like he was calling her stupid. Like so many people had before this.

"I've been thinking about this and thinking about it...," said Patrick. Irritated now, Fionna fired back, "you've been thinkin' a lot, but you haven't been talking to _me_ , Patrick. Is that what happens now? You tell me what to do?" Patrick flinched, but he found himself firing back, "globdammit, Fionna! I'm trying to fucking help you! You're a head-case half the time, running around doing shit that you know you shouldn't, but you can't even remember the doctor telling you not to five minutes after the fact! You've got a fucking problem! We can fix it, or you can run off and kill yourself and Mona too! Is that what you want?!" The blonde's eyes got wide as pie-plates, as she stared at him. Then, she stood up, turned around, and went right out the door, slamming it after her. _Great,_ thought Patrick. _Just great._

Late that day, Bonnibel Bubblegum typed a command on the console-shell she was using, sending the 'wake-up' message to her doppleganger. Sarah's eyes popped open, and, as she stared around her, her diagnostic routines scanned her artificial body from the standby power unit near her artificial heart to the artificial epidermis that covered her 'flesh'. Everything was nominal. Even the annoying glitch in her big toe was gone. "You're in surprisingly good shape," announced Bonnie as she came into view. "Try sitting up... Slowly."

Sarah did just that, slowly rising to a sitting position. As she did so, Bonnie walked around her, taking measurements on her instruments. "I replaced your battery backup unit. You've been using it a little more than you should. I want you to get more rest, eat more food to support your organic systems, and lay off the video games." Sarah promised that she would. Just now she was looking at her arms. They were completely smooth, from her shoulders down to her fingers. "I've upgraded your limbs," explained the princess.

With a frown, Sarah remarked, "I thought you were afraid that I'd be used to impersonate you." "Nah," said Bonnie. "It's no biggie. You've been pretty loyal to me. Consider this a reward." Sarah grinned. She could hardly wait to try them out fooling Finn. That was one of her favorite passtimes. She might have to stuff a pillow under her dress, though. Bonnie was still speaking, pointing out, "the upgrades will make your limbs less vulnerable to debris. As sealed units, they'll last longer without maintenance." Sarah thanked her. She'd been embarrassed to have her right knee freeze up while she was riding Finn's pecker.

Climbing off the table, the android-girl scrabbled around for her clothes. A corner of her mind vaguely remembered that they'd had an unpleasant encounter earlier before she went to sleep, but she couldn't find the memory of it. Chalking it up to an artifact of the upgrade process, the mechanical hottie turned to her creator and said, "we kind of had an unpleasant conversation the other day. I didn't really mean to hurt your feelings. I've kind of been tip-toeing around this because I am grateful to you. I... kind of think we need to talk at some point about our relationship. I promised Finn I'd go look in on the kids today, and I still have to do some digging for Emeraude's project to harvest food for her people, but I'll be back on the job for a while. If you still need me." "Oh," said Bonnie, with a sweet smile. "Sure. That would be very nice of you, _Sarah_. You'll have to let me know how the children are." As the android turned to go, Bonnie smirked at her back.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16:

The hawk slammed into the pigeon at full speed, slamming it out of the air. As the creature plummeted, the hawk snatched it up on the fly before speeding back to its owner. Finn watched with an impassive expression as his host collected the deceased pigeon, handing it off to an attendant. Gently she stroked the prey-bird's plumage, cooing at it as one did a familiar old housecat or other pet. A part of Finn wanted to paint that as cruel. He wanted to find fault with nearly everything about the beautiful woman that sat on the horse ahead of him. Another corner of his mind kept asking why he was even here. He wanted to be at home, and he missed Van and Cole. He missed the girls. And Ingrid's constant flirting wasn't helping at all.

They'd been here most of the morning, hawking. Finn had known that hunting was a Thing in the Warrior Kingdom. Drew had often talked about going hunting with her father while growing up. She'd learned to take prey, gut it, clean it, skin it, and prepare it for eating. Finn had thought of inviting her to go with him and his kids a couple of times since she seemed so fond of it. Still, Ingrid's hunting seemed _different_ somehow. Maybe it was the fact that she was using the hawk to do the hunting for her. Or maybe it was just Bonnie's words and admonishments. He had a lot of distrust for Ingrid, and he knew that he was only echoing the distrustful sentiments his ladies felt. Even Baba Yaga distrusted her.

She was watching more often now. He knew it somehow. He _felt_ it. It was a creepy, sort of skin-crawly feeling. She'd even confirmed it once by appearing to him in the bathroom mirror. He was trying to accept it as her looking out for somebody valuable to her, but it was still creepy. Memories of her last comment the day he'd last seen her were certainly not helping. She'd advised he be ready to make a getaway. Women like Ingrid expected to be in control, and they got rather dangerous when they found out they weren't. He thought of Yuri, and he wondered if Yuri might have found himself facing down death when he pissed the Rusalka off at some point in the distant past.

And, of course, he couldn't really help thinking about two deadly words. Who and how.

She _was_ Ghost Princess. She'd made that very clear with some unmistakable reminders of their last encounter. She'd told him all about the hot dogs, and she'd told him all about how Jake disliked cheesy sauce. She'd even told him where she and Clarence had gone that night. So Finn knew she was the real deal. So who'd brought her back from the dead? And how had they done it? And, increasingly, he was wondering about the why? A corner of him feared that Ingrid was one of the Dipped or perhaps some other strange creation of the Lich's. He kept wondering if maybe his bud hadn't left behind a failsafe to come after Finn if he lost. He'd literally had _months_ while Finn was trapped in the Door Lord's sanctum with Betty. His mind wanted to suggest that was impossible. Ingrid had no trouble at all sitting on a horse or even riding it all through the day. Everything he knew about the Dipped suggested that was impossible, but he really didn't know for sure.

Glancing over at him, she gave him that dangerous smirk that suggested she knew exactly what he was thinking. That beautiful hair was tied back in a long tail today. She typically wore it coiled up under a helmet. Her eyes, like chips of the sky, held humor as she told him, "here, Finn. You try it." She'd insisted he come out with her to see how men and women of status lived their lives. Dutifully, he'd come down just as she'd asked. She never asked just what it was he was doing in the town, when she'd extended a standing invitation to stay with her. It was just a subject for another of those deadly little smiles.

Riding forward, Finn came up alongside his host. Ingrid bade her servant put a glove on his hand. Then she passed the hunting-bird off to him, helping him become accustomed to holding onto the cords that bound it. The nervous creature mantled and shrieked at him, but Finn forced himself to remain calm in the face of talons that could have slashed open his hand. Her hand brushed his as she was passing him the bird, and he felt a chill at that slight contact. For the first time in his life, the presence of a beautiful woman at his side didn't send him into instant lust. He would happily have admitted that he was a thirsty dude like everyone else. He never stopped looking Riley over when he was in her place, and he'd caught himself giving Pearl and Ragnhild both the eye. Something about Ingrid put him off.

The tall beauty taught him how hawking worked and explained the finer points of working with a bird. Then, after teaching him with the hawk she'd been working with, she had a second hawk brought to them. "Alright," said she, "you try." Finn scanned the sky for one of the pigeons they'd been taking out. Spying one, he loosed the hawk, sending it racing skyward. The mellow, live-and-let-live man that he was found instant conflict with the competitive Finn that had fought many a scrap with his adopted brothers as a kid.

As he watched the hawk close on the pigeon, a part of him was a little creeped out by this. This wasn't really skill. It was kind of close to enslavement–like having a slave shoot down dinner for you. On the flip side, he sooo wanted to win. He always wanted to win. Just as before, the hawk slammed the pigeon full force, stunning it and knocking it from the sky. A short time later, the hawk dropped the dead bird at his horse's feet. One of Ingrid's dudes brought him the bird as the hawk settled on his wrist once more. "Excellent, sir," said the servant. "I shall have it plucked and stuffed for m'lord's supper." "Yeah," burbled Finn. "Sure." Ingrid gave him that smirk of hers and told the servant, "that will be fine, I think." Turning to the man at her right, she handed off the hawk she'd been working with. "I've work, I'm afraid," said she, "but I expect you for dinner." Finn bowed to her, and then watched as she rode away.

With no other prospects on the horizon, the big man turned his horse and rode out of the princess's private hunting preserve. Setting off down the road, he gave the horse his head, as he wove in and out of late morning traffic headed into town. That was easier these days since Ingrid had banished the motorized vehicles used to supply the capitol. She didn't like the sight of them, so she'd ordered them to disappear. It was another worrisome thing and another reason to dislike the woman. Like Wildberry, she was enamored of a world that no longer existed. While she had been dead, Hunson Abadeer had rampaged across the land, devastating towns in her kingdom, aliens from space had tried to blow Ooo to bits, and the Lich had tried to variously freeze the world or wish its inhabitants away. Things were never going to be the same. He and his family had been forced to recognize and accept that.

The Warrior Kingdom had changed drastically from the last time Finn had been here. The ho's were off the street, the police were vigorously patrolling, and there was a strange vibe in the air. The biggest piece of things was the suddenly renewed interest in martial skills. It seemed everybody he passed was practicing with sword, spear, and bow. Even kids could be seen participating in impromptu wrestling matches in schoolyards and parks as he went by. Remembering Bonnie's words, he feared what all of this meant. He was afraid Ingrid was going to do just what his ladies feared. As volatile as things were, she could set Ooo ablaze and finish what the Lich started.

Finn rolled on through the town, passing the strange, _militaristic_ architecture of Warrior Town, coming at last to the structure that had been part of putting him on this course. Erickson's club had been shut down. Scantily-clad dancing girls were an unacceptable vice in Ingrid's Warrior Kingdom. The club had reopened as a gym and hostel. The carefully lacquered stage and dance floor had become a battle-scarred weight-room and boxing ring. Cherry, he knew, was fit to be tied. Hitching up his borrowed horse, the big man circled around back to the rear door. Slipping inside, he listened to the ebb and flow of the building before heading up the stairs.

He heard men in the rooms he passed as they discussed their overlord's big plans. Those rooms had been opulent private dining salons. Now they were squalid little hotel rooms. Two things became clear as he made that journey. One, these guys knew less than bupkus about Ingrid's plans. Two, the Warrior Princess had _something_ up her sleeve, and it was very likely to be bad for the Kingdoms of Ooo. Reaching the room at the end of the hall, Finn produced a key for the last space in this place that hadn't been reverted to its previous purpose.

This was where he stayed–dodging the princess's fast hands. Stepping inside, he felt a breeze from the balcony, and he immediately went on alert as he shut the door and locked it. As he strode across the room, hand on his sword and ready, a familiar voice called out to him, "it's chicken today, honey. It was all I could get." Finn felt his heart beat a little faster as Cherry came out of the kitchen. "W-what're you doing here," he asked? With a shrug, she said, "business. Looking in on my new gym." The big man was across the room in just three strides, snatching her off her feet like a toy. He always did that now.

In a teasing tone, she asked, "what? She not putting out?" "I don't want to talk about her," Finn muttered, as he held his lady in his arms. He sounded angry. Brushing her fingers through his hair, the little beauty replied, "I'm sorry, honey, but you kind of have to." Frowning now, Finn set her down. Nodding, Cherry reminded him, "I'm not here just for me, honey. You know that." Flushing, Finn nodded. He knew it. He didn't like it, but he knew it. Far from getting more time with his ladies, his retirement was going into the ditch, and he was spending more time away from them than ever. With a heavy sigh, he said, "she's wrecked the place, babe. I... I kinda' like it the way it was before... when we came here." Cherry blushed a little herself. At the same time, she said, "it can wait a few minutes. Let's eat."

The big man slowly unwound across lunch, as Cherry told him how things were going in the Candy Kingdom. Freed of some of the hassle of being Matriarch, Emeraude had a little more time now, and she'd sent three charms to them to help out with the Curse. The three who were most in danger–Betty, Drew, and Cherry–were all three equipped right now, and Nadia was working on a less esoteric solution when she found the time to work on it. The ice was slowly disappearing as the robots worked their way across the ice-sheet, carving off chunks of it and melting them away with the heat-ray satellite. And the wives were mostly getting along.

"Strangely enough, it's Patrick and Fionna who're fighting," sighed Cherry. Finn frowned at that. "Fi's back in your place, honey. I don't know why, but she's back there now. She and Baba Yaga are getting along about as well as oil and water." Finn flinched. He hadn't meant to leave the witch at his place this long. He honestly didn't understand why she was still there. "Bonnie prevailed upon her to stay," explained Cherry. "Wildberry's agitating for another vote." "And she needs this to continue as much as we do," sighed Finn. He'd been all too right. The Rusalka definitely had a dog in this fight.

On his side, Finn had plenty to report about the goings on that he'd witnessed. "She whacked the Baron," sighed Finn. "His folks are locked up in the dungeon." He'd heard a dozen stories about the event, so it was pretty much a certainty. "First things she did was basically start preparing her dudes to fight," the big man explained. "Storing up food, cutting out travel, forting up the towns..." "So what does she know that we don't," burbled Cherry? The Privy Council was doing everything it could to prevent war. In any event, a war with Bonnibel and her faction still in control of the war-machine would be disastrous for any aggressor!

"I don't understand the play either," sighed Finn. "She's... a lot like Bonnie said. She's... almost evil. I don't understand..." "How she could be so different," Cherry asked? "Piece of advice, honey. Sometimes you never really find out why someone did something. A lot of the time it really doesn't matter." Finn nodded. He could sort of see that. Still, something about what Ingrid was doing was nagging at him. She had to see that what she was doing really wouldn't mean spit against Bonnie, when she had the Gumball Guardians and the war-machine in her hands. It was like she had some other plan entirely.

"They've turned the entire country into an armed camp," said Finn. "They grabbed all the ho's off the streets... Hauled 'em all off somewhere. I... think it might be prison." His eyes said he feared it was _worse_ , but her husband would never articulate the awful fears in his mind. He couldn't give voice to evil like that, but Cherry could. And she'd be telling her fellows just what Ingrid was up to. More to the point, while many of her agents had been _collected_ , she had many more who were now in positions to learn things about what was going on in Warrior Kingdom. Finn had just given her avenues to pursue.

"And you," the little woman asked? Finn frowned at her. "What've you been doing," Cherry prodded? "Not fucking her, if that's what you mean," Finn grumbled. Cherry laughed in his face. She laughed and laughed and laughed until Finn was almost flinching away from her. Laying her chin on her hand, Cherry said, "that's cute, honey, but I need you to focus. We need you to get in her panties and find out what she's up to and who's put her up to it. You have our permission to fuck her as often as necessary to get what we need out of her. Pillow-talk. It works." Finn's jaw hung, and he looked as though he would turn crimson, but Cherry was already moving on. "The vote will be within a couple of weeks," she said. "Pump her for information. Get all you can out of her before then. At the very least we need some idea how she's going to vote." Defeated and deflated both, Finn nodded.

The conversation turned to Finn's return to the palace and dinner with his New Evil Girlfriend (TM). Cherry had piles of things he could investigate and places he could search in Ingrid's place. Finn did his best to memorize what his wife had to say. Then she insisted on coming to his side of the table to cuddle. It was awkward at first–especially with what she'd just asked him to do–but slowly he warmed to the experience. Just as she'd said in Froyo Kingdom, the magic was still there. In the end though, he had to go back to Ingrid's place. Leaving his wife behind, he got back on his borrowed horse, and headed out of town, settling into traffic like everybody else who dwelled in the 'burbs. One thing was certain. The people of Warrior Kingdom had gotten _spoiled_ in the years Ingrid had been gone. Nobody was happy to be walking or riding horse-carts.

South of Warrior Kingdom, Marshall Lee Abadeer walked into the darkened bedroom to find Davina sitting there on the bed, dressed in what passed for a sexy negligee in Warrior Kingdom–scrimshawed leather and almost-ephemeral links of chainmail armor. Much like Connie, Davina was still very beautiful–with gravity-defying tits, broad hips, and a squarish face, framed by a mop of dark, curly hair. But a couple of stray strands of gray suggested that she wouldn't be gorgeous forever. She was headed for The Wall at high-speed. He could _arrest_ that headlong flight into old-age and oblivion if she let him.

Shutting the door behind him, the tall man fixed her with those terrifying red eyes. She stared, almost-hypnotized, as he stalked across the room. Voice a low, almost-menacing growl, he said, "do you accept? This is your one and only chance. After this, I will never speak to you again, never acknowledge you. Our daughter will never see you again. Connie, Candace, and I will raise her..." Davina flinched. The pretty boy she'd thought she was seducing had _changed_. Though still pretty, there was nothing sweet or innocent about him. His red eyes burned into hers, suggesting that his patience was very limited right now. At the same time, she had nowhere to go. If she gave up her child, that still left her alone. Her parents would never allow her back in _their_ house, and her husband wasn't going to patch things up. She didn't have a lot of choice here. "Alright," she murmured, "what do I need to do?"

Walking towards her, Marshall said, "it's simple. Just relax. That's all you need to do." Her eyes spotted the knife in his left hand, and she asked, "i-is that for me?" Glancing down at the glistening black blade, he said, "no, Davina. It's for _me_." Which response left her staring at him in puzzlement. That didn't really make sense. But Marshall was already moving. Setting the knife on the side-table, the tall man sat himself beside her. Leaning towards her, he caressed her still-pretty face, sliding his long fingers through her curly, coal-black locks. She relaxed a little, and then a little more as he leaned in and kissed her, whispering, "we'll learn to love each other. We'll have lots of time..."

Far from the rough, wild sex that had produced their daughter, this time he was a gentleman. His hands gently caressed her firm flesh, stroking her flanks and her thighs in feather-like touches. Kissing her cheek and her throat, he teased her skin with the tips of his sharp fangs, reminding her of what she was here for. She would become a vampire tonight. She would become undead. Like him. His hands slipped up under the soft, ephemeral chain-mail she wore and began to caress her heavy knockers, teasing and stroking them as they continued to kiss. Losing a little of her terror, Davina began to touch him in return, caressing his hard body and pulling at the buttons of his shirt.

One by one, the plump woman unfastened the buttons on the front of her soon-to-be husband's shirt. When she had access to his skin, he nipped her shoulder playfully. "Oooh," moaned the plump woman, as the feel of his hands wiped away the last traces of her fear. Marshall grasped the chainmail shirt and pulled it off over her head, tossing it away. Fastening his lips around one of her nips, Marshall sucked hard enough to make her squeal. "Oooh," she howled! "Y-you bastard!" It was just like before when he would tease and torment her. His free hand slid down over the curve of her stomach, past the chainmail garterbelt she wore to the leather panties hitched up around her waist just as it had so many times before.

Back in Davina's homeland, Finn the Human sat down to a solitary meal with the beautiful woman who was doing her best to win him over. He couldn't help thinking that. What else could explain the fact that they were eating alone with no court and few servants to speak of. Ingrid was making it more than clear that she wanted to start something here. Which was crazy on its face when he already had eleven wives and a whole pile of kids. He didn't really like this. No matter what Cherry said, he didn't really like being here.

Ingrid had come to supper dressed in a pale white gown in an archaic style. Hanging loose from her shoulders, it hid a lot of her beautiful shape, leaving his eyes to guess at her form underneath, though it did little to hide that fantastic butt. She had a nice butt–like Bonnie's. It wasn't as big as Betty or Simone's or even Nadia's, but it had a very nice shape to it. The pigeon he'd taken earlier had been roasted and prepared with fine seasonings, and now the lady's personal maid presented it to him on a silver tray. As Ingrid dug in, he found himself unable really to eat it, no matter how good it looked or smelled. He had too much on the line to feel in any way _normal_ about this. Cherry had flippantly asked him to seduce this woman and try to pry the secrets out of her mind, but he was keenly aware of just how badly that had gone last time. He wasn't made to lie or live a double life.

Ingrid talked of all the same irrelevancies she'd talked of the whole time he'd been here. She talked of her country estate. She talked of her hobbies–white-smithing silver and gold jewelry, when she found the time. As he had before, Finn pondered what Clarence had said and done when presented with that. Part of him was tempted to ask about Clarence, but he knew that would be a fatal mistake. There was an ugly history there, and he really couldn't help wondering if Clarence was in limbo somewhere, either working in Theo's quarry or down in the Night-O-Sphere.

As supper was taken away, Ingrid's servant brought a wooden board and a small box to the table. Finn had a good idea what she was going to suggest the minute the board was laid on the table between them. Chess. He _hated_ chess. He was rotten at it. It was one of _those_ things that really drove him bonkers. Bonnie had tried to teach him, and it was one of those things that had created friction between them because he'd gotten sore and stormed out on her once. Indeed, more than half of his ladies enjoyed chess, and he was forced to sort of sit the whole business out when they wanted to play because he was awful at it. Simone played. Cherry played. Nadia played. Drew was one of the few people who could give Bonnie a run for her money. Betty had taught her son, Patrick, creating a source of conflict for _Fionna_ , who was just as bad at it as Finn was.

The only saving grace was the fact that Marceline and Emeraude hated the game about as much as he did. Usually he would sneak off with one of _them_ when that rotten board came out at his place. Reminding himself of what was at stake, Finn put on a false smile and did his best not to show how much he disliked the game as Ingrid laid out the board, giving him the white pieces.

Back in Engagement Ring Kingdom, Marshall Lee had moved on–or _down_ –to the Y. Hands twined in his dark hair, Davina Ulfberht howled and wailed loud enough to wake the dead as the younger man went down on her hot box. Her strong thighs had his head almost imprisoned as she went through orgasm after orgasm, reminding him that she was so much different from her daughter. That was the crazy thing about the pair. They were so different from each other, and he'd honestly gotten off on being able to have both at once. Wrong as it was, he'd enjoyed Candy's innocence, and Davina's wild depravity.

Pushing her legs aside, the tall man rose up from where he'd been noisily going down on her and licked his lips for the effect. Laying there in a state of shocking lust, Davina stared up at him as he climbed up over her body. Her hair was wild and soaked with sweat, and her face was flushed as he pressed the knob of his fat dick against her oily snatch. She'd enjoyed that big, fat pecker quite a lot when he was staying with them. A shiver of shame went through her at the memory. But the thought didn't last long. When he thrust that big thing into her, her arms and legs wrapped themselves around him with a strength that said she would never let go.

Marshall himself was a little detached as he made love to the beautiful older woman. She was relaxed. He could feel her growing ever more relaxed as he rode her, starting slowly, and letting her savor the buildup. Her eyes were closed, and her breath came in hot gasps and pants. Occasionally, her whole body would clench up, and her hands would claw at him. She was in the groove. Now was the time. Straightening a little–he never stopped screwing her–the tall man reached over and took the knife in his hands. Slashing his wrist, he waited for the blood to begin to flow. It always came weakly now. Unless he was badly injured, it came in drips and drabs, as if his body was stingy with the flow of his oily black blood.

Now, as Davina soared towards another orgasm, screaming his name as she did so, he leaned down, pressed his razor-sharp fangs to the vein in her neck, and began to drink. So immersed in the sexual pleasure was she, that the plump woman hardly noticed. It was no worse than all the other times he'd pricked her with his fangs. It was only when he was drinking deeply of the crimson flow from her body that she even realized what was happening. At the same time, her lover never stopped using her. He never stopped taking her, making her feel the power of his thrusts as he fucked her on and on.

Davina could feel the life leaving her body. She could feel her own motions getting weaker and weaker. At the same time, she could still feel those powerful orgasms. If anything, the lack of oxygen was making them more intense–almost _painful_. At the height of their passion, she felt her heart slowing to a crawl, felt it skip several beats, and then she felt something dribbling into her mouth. Bitter and foul-tasting, it would have made her wretch, if she'd had any strength at all. Marshall's voice came to her from very far away, urging her, ' _breathe_ '. And then her heart began to beat again.

It came slowly. It came so slowly and so weakly, she almost missed the beating of her own heart. She could still feel his caresses–feather light touches like he would do when he wanted to set her ablaze with passion. Caught somewhere between life and death, she listened to a siren's song–a soft whisper from the darkness that called out to her. And yet, at the same time, there were those soft caresses, luring her back–the sensuous touch of the mortal world that she had so enjoyed.

And then her heart came _roaring_ back to life.

One moment Marshall was gently making love to his latest conquest, listening to the slowing of her heart. The next, Davina threw him off and flipped him on his back. Her face was almost feral, her fangs long as stiletto daggers and twice as sharp. She pinned him there on the bed, her eyes crazed, and her hands clawing at his body with nails as sharp as iron spikes. And then she began to ride him, losing herself in an animal fury of fucking. Faster and faster the devil-possessed woman went, her hips whipping back and forth in a fury, her meaty bottom slapping into his hips over and over again. Her powerful right hand clawed at his neck. Her left pawed and clawed at her own sumptuous tits, squeezing first one and then the other cruelly hard, the sharp claws digging in and releasing little dribbles of the remaining mortal blood in her body.

The Vampire King let her savor the passion of madness for a while. Her hair whipped back and forth, and guttural roars came from her lips as she had her way with him. This was _different_. It was as different from Candy as Candy had been from Connie. Connie had been shockingly gentle, seeming to almost want to become _one_ with him. Candy had been a wild thing, jumping and twisting and thrashing beneath him. She'd screamed so loud that he knew half the town must have heard her. Davina was like a force of nature–almost unstoppable in her fury. Almost.

The tall man threw her off him, breaking contact. Filled with vampiric rage, the older woman threw herself at him, but he grabbed her by the arm with his far-superior speed, spun her around and pinned her. He was driving his dick into her gooey snatch again just a scant three seconds later, while she screamed and howled profanity. He hit that big, juicy ass hard and fast, possessing her as roughly as he'd ever done it before, his big pecker driving deep every time, his hips making the round, _hard_ globes jiggle in spite of their firmness. His hands closed on those big tits– _his_ tits–squeezing them hard enough that he knew it hurt.

That just seemed to make it all the sweeter to his mad fuck-beast, as she became ever more violent, slamming that ass back to meet him, clawing her way through the sheets and then through the mattress, until he was fucking her in a cloud of goose-down mattress-filler and shreds of silk cloth. Somewhere in the middle, the bed gave way, the frame snapping on one side. Marshall, who'd been doing his best to hold out, ended up falling on top of her, his balls shooting off all the goo he had.

Finally Davina regained her senses. Shaking off the rage and lust that had control of her, she managed to roll over on her back to face him. Her face was a study in strange contrasts. There was definitely a current of fear there. Her right hand went to the mark at her throat, and then down to the valley between those colossal boobies. "Yeah," he said. "Your heart beats, but nobody else can hear it but another vampire. It's part of the curse." Along with never being able to feel the sun on her skin again.

"W-what do I look like," she murmured. Standing up, Marshall levered her to her feet. Taking her by the hand, he led her to the magic-mirror in the corner. "You don't have a reflection anymore," he said. "This is the best we can do..." She stared in amazement at the bowl of liquid mercury there before her. Feeling at her hair, she parted the long, silky, dark strands, searching for the few strands of grey she had. "They're gone," he remarked, as he slipped his arms around her flat tummy. Indeed, the 'few extra pounds', laugh-lines, and smile-wrinkles were gone too. It was as if she was a young woman of Candy's age once more. Kissing her cheek, he whispered, "welcome to eternity."

Back in Davina's homeland, Finn the Human came out of the princess's private dining salon. Bored of endlessly drubbing him at chess, the Lady herself had slipped out here after beckoning him to join her. The sky was already dark overhead, and the moon was in the process of rising. As little as Ingrid had enjoyed their game, he'd enjoyed it less. If it wasn't the fact that he was playing his least favorite game, he was here doing something he really, really hated. He didn't like the way this made him feel. Now his host wanted to get some fresh air, so she'd had the servants open the doors to the cool out-of-doors, and Finn was grateful to get out of the stifling atmosphere inside.

The pigeon he'd half-eaten earlier was arguing with his insides, and part of him wanted to get out of there and relieve himself. Unfortunately, Ingrid wanted to talk some more about nothing. As he watched her pad down to the side of the river, the deadly warrior-woman's swaying hips called to him. _Turn down the thirsty, dude,_ he told himself. It was the curse of fatherhood. The girls just weren't able to do that right now, and they wouldn't be real interested in it for a long time after the kids got born. It had been tough dealing with that when Billy, Fionna, and Star were born. It was tough even now, knowing that Ingrid was as dangerous as a viper.

The night was pretty, with nary a cloud in the sky, and the moon slowly rising to shine its cold light on the world in place of the sun. There wasn't much of a breeze, and the air was a little crisp. It was a night where he would have taken the woman he was with–whichever of his wives was at his side at the moment–and snuggled up somewhere, keeping them warm with his own body. And he was here with crazy. The big man sat down on a stone bench to wait on what she was going to say or do. She'd kept the mystery going, making it hard for him to find an edge to pry against.

As she looked out on the beautiful scene before her, Finn studied the beauty herself. She was a stunner. If he'd met her before her untimely death, he'd definitely have had the hots for her. "You've changed," opined Warrior Princess. "Probably," replied Finn. Over her shoulder, she said, "that's what I mean. No longer the innocent little boy. Cagey..." Finn shrugged. He was who he was. Turning away from the beautiful view the tall, blonde mystery crossed the distance to his side. "So suspicious, my sweet," said she. Finn only smiled.

Smiling like a snake offering him dinner, his New Evil Girlfriend (TM) slipped into his lap. "Did she warn you about me," asked the sexy amazon warrior? She meant Bonnie, and he knew it. "Yeah, man," replied Finn. "Peebles totes thinks you're evil." Smiling sweetly as she teased his lips with a fingertip, Warrior Princess asked, "and what do _you_ think?" With a sly smile, Finn replied, "I'm sure of it." Grabbing her hair, he pulled her face to his and captured her lips. Strangely enough, Cherry had helped him overcome his inhibitions and objections with this. It wasn't as creepy as he'd feared it would be. At the same time, he felt... _nothing_. There wasn't a spark there. In spite of his fears, there wasn't a spark there at all.

"That was nice," murmured the pretty blonde problem. Finn gave her what he hoped was a mysterious smile of his own. "No more than that," she asked? She had a way of making her lips look oh-so _pouty_. Few women did it as well as Cherry, but Ingrid gave his wife a run for her money. Softly, he said, "it's called respect... You're a woman of means. A man should respect that." Her eyes narrowed on his, and he realized he'd shocked her. Hefting her hardened body, the big man set her down beside him, saying, "and a woman should respect _herself_." Ingrid sat there a moment, staring into space, as if lost in thought, and he imagined that he'd surprised her. "My name isn't Clarence," said Finn, as he took her hand in his. "I'm not here to mess with you and try to get what I want out of you. We were friends before this, but we never really got to know each other. Let's get to know each other now."

Ingrid lay her head on his shoulder and said, "well, then you'll just have to show me how you managed to seduce all those mopheads when we're a couple, Finn the Human. Let's play this game, you and I." A part of him seethed at the way she said that. Was she reading his mind? At the same time, this was the _game_ he had at the moment. He wasn't going to get out of this, and he really needed to play this the best he could. Not only did his life depend on it, but his whole family and the fate of Ooo were at stake.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17:

"Hey, babe," Finn greeted Sarah. The android-girl almost rushed right past him. "Oh, hey, Finn," she replied, as she gave him a too-quick peck on the cheek. She breezed off as if her hair was on fire. Finn frowned at her retreating back as she went zipping up the hallway. "She's been like that the whole time," muttered Fionna. "They've all kind of been a mess, daddy." Finn turned to face his daughter, who looked a little disheveled herself. Knowing about the business with her and Patrick, Finn found himself wanting to ask. At the same time, knowing that Simon typically adopted a hands-off approach to his relationship with Simone, the big man realized that this was a battle he couldn't win for his kid. It was part of her growing up.

Instead of trying to pry at her over her problems, the Hero of Ooo wrapped his arms around his child and hugged her before kissing her cheek. When he let her go, he found tears in her eyes, but she forced them away. Instead, she merely said, "it's good to have you back home, daddy." Finn nodded. It was good to _be_ home. At the same time, he was back here because Ingrid was back, and Ingrid was back for the vote. He was missing his family, and it almost felt like being on the trail of the Lich again.

Seeing his expression, Fionna said, "I been lookin' after moms, daddy. It's cool... How's ghost-face?" Finn blushed. "Sneaky," he muttered. "Won't talk about anything besides running a kingdom and needing a consort." Wrinkling her cute nose, the beautiful girl murmured, "wow. Mr. magnetic personality..." Looking him dead in the eye, she asked, "you're not..." Flushing, Finn replied, "it's not like Cherry, Fi. I... always had a relationship with her. She was my best friend's wife, and I'd kinda' had the hots for her. She just fell back into my life after being out of it... I never really knew Ingrid. Everything I thought I knew... isn't true..." Fionna's expression turned thoughtful. Stopping in the hall, the pretty blonde said, "be careful, daddy. Girls get mad when they get tricked. We'd all miss you, and... you wouldn't get to meet Mona..." It had to be the first time his daughter _ever_ acknowledged the dangers he faced. It was at once one of those seminal events that marked her coming of age and utterly terrifying at the same time.

Finn moved on, walking into the great hall to find the princesses all gathered within. Everybody was here, even his son, Marshall. The Vampire Queen had rarely deigned to participate in the business of running the world and keeping the peace. Mostly she existed as a disruptive force, tweaking noses where and when she could. Shockingly, the Vampire King had settled down and become almost-respectable. Though he hadn't voted in the last meeting, he'd been there then too. Now, with him seated alongside Engagement Ring Princess, Finn thought that they might very well have an additional vote on their side if things went sideways with Ingrid.

Simone and Emeraude were both present, with E looking a lot like she'd basically rushed here. Nadia was there in the front row with Ragnhild, Phoebes, and Bonnie. Cherry sat off to one side in a darkened gallery, and, shockingly, she had an entourage of her own. _Capos,_ he thought. Those were the dudes who ran things in the various kingdoms. They were the baddest of bad dudes, and, naturally, they all wore masks. It wouldn't do to have the law recognize who they were. On Wildberry's side, there were her closest friends, Aysun, Maudie, Yolanda, and Bathilde, though Alexia seemed to have turned away from the sour berry after the loss of her kids. She was now down in the general gallery–with the _neutral_ princesses.

"Daddy," announced Star. Finn turned to find his replacement standing there at his side. At her back was her new shadow. He had been hearing rumblings of things from Cherry about how things were going with Thor, and he'd been thinking of talking to the younger man. At the same time, just as with Fi, this was something his baby had to manage on her own. He couldn't do this for her. Turning to face her, the big man gathered her in and hugged her, kissing both cheeks. Ingrid passed him then, and her face had a strange cast to it as she took in the sight of him hugging his child. It was another sign of how things really stood there. Ingrid didn't much like being reminded that he was a man who'd lived his life while she'd been 'away'. "How's it going," he asked? "Tol'rable," replied Star. "Got the place secure. Hope we're not expecting any surprises..."

Finn chuckled. They had Baba Yaga, the thousand-year-old witch of the wastelands here. They had the newly resurrected Ghost/Warrior Princess. They had Wildberry who wanted to execute/murder/mutilate Bonnie. They had the Vampire King here as the wildcard, and the undead Princess Beautiful acting as chairman. What could possibly go wrong? Star had to laugh herself at that. Hugging her dad again, she got on her way. There was work to do.

Finn made his way back up to the observation gallery, where he found Sarah waiting in the shadows, watching the proceedings. "Hey, babe," he greeted the android-girl. Sarah turned and gave him a beautiful, sunny smile before turning back to the gathering below. Sidling up alongside her, he grasped her hand, and was startled to find the joints were smooth. "Babe," he breathed, "and he took another good look at her." "No," she said. "Still not Bonnie. Fooled you, huh?" Finn grinned at her, then turned and kissed her sweet lips. That seemed to burn away a little of the strange demeanor.

Indeed, Sarah felt as though a fog had just gotten lifted from her mind. She honestly hadn't been thinking much at all of Finn lately. She'd just gotten snowed under working, and she hadn't spent time on him at all, when she'd never been able to go more than a few hours at a stretch that way. "You ok," he asked? Frowning, she said, "it's... nothing. I'm glad to have you home." Throwing herself on him, she kissed him for all she was worth, and he couldn't help caressing her beautiful body. "Love you, babe," he whispered. That made her face go red-hot, and she felt the heat of her hunger for him. Unfortunately, there was work waiting on them both. When she turned back to the hall below, Finn did the same. Princess Beautiful was calling the meeting to order, and the last few princesses were leaving the refreshment table or the ladies room and making their way to their seats.

When the princesses had settled in, the skeletal undead got things underway, announcing, *we are met to investigate the matter of the war-machine and the current violation of the Peace of Ooo. Currently, the war-machine is being operated under dispensation of the Council based on the urgent need to remove the ice blocking the ocean current... Shall we hear the status of the ice...?*

Interrupting the skeleton-creature, Ingrid said, "we've already been here before. With my colleague's permission, I'd sort of like to cut to the chase. There are bigger fish to fry here than rehashing this whole vote all over again..." When Wildberry might have protested, the tall warrior turned to face the gathered princesses and asked, "I know that those two have been burning up their infernal telephones for the last few weeks calling everybody. They've both had people out haranguing me on an almost daily basis. It's pretty clear that the sides are evenly matched. Or was anybody seriously thinking of changing her vote?" Embarrassed and nervous faces greeted that deadly question. Still nobody raised his or her hand.

Turning to Princess Beautiful, she said, "I'm the tie-breaker. There's nobody else coming to vote. We're at fifty-fifty for the gum-woman and the fruit..." Acknowledging that with a nod of her head, Princess Beautiful replied, *then how do you vote? Do you wish the destruction of the war-machine or do you wish to amend the Peace of Ooo?* Ingrid replied, "a third way." The undead woman canted her head slightly to the right in a sign of her puzzlement. *You said you would cast the tie-breaker,* Princess Beautiful replied. "I can," said Ingrid, "but my vote has more power than that." The room began to rumble with a soft undercurrent of displeasure. This wasn't quite what anyone bargained for.

When Bonnie would have stood and spoken, Marshall Lee rose and motioned for her to be silent. "You're not quite the tie-breaker you think you are," he replied, "but I want to hear what you've got to say." His eyes turned to the undead princess and said, "let her speak." When Wildberry began to shout about irregularities, the Vampire King turned his demonic eyes on her and snarled, "she will speak! I demand this!" With a squeak of fright, the sour-berry subsided. Dryly, Ingrid replied, "very well, Mr. Abadeer. A little melodramatic but effective."

Turning to her colleagues, Ingrid the Warrior Princess opined, "we have heard that there are those who would alter the Peace of Ooo by simply _destroying_ our world. It occurs to me that there is no peace under threat of annihilation. We're already at war. So, in my mind, the Peace ceased to exist when Martin brought his army." There were shouts from Wildberry's faction, but Ingrid quelled them with a look. "I am no friend of machinery," said Ingrid, "but I'm no fool. I would not send a man with mail and sword against a man who can burn him to nothing with a bolt of light from afar. I propose to let these machines deal with what we are ineffectual in dealing with..." The tall beauty turned to Bonnie, then, and added, "but it also occurs to me that we dare not trust any one of our number."

Smiling at her neighbors, the warrior woman tucked her thumbs into her swordbelt and said, "you all know my quality. I and mine have waged war across half of the known kingdoms, contesting for the tiniest pieces of land simply because that was our way. I know that none of you would _dare_ trust _me_ with custodianship of such a potent war-making apparatus. At the same time, somebody must be its guardian, lest we find ourselves unable to take up the burden when the time comes, which it surely will. Therefore, I propose that we elect a figurehead–somebody who is known to us, but who is not above us. That figurehead will be responsible for wielding the power when the time comes."

"That's nice," muttered Yolanda, and she sounded much like she'd been coached as she opined, "but how would we be certain that the chosen soul would have no power in the land and thus no reason to want to turn against us." "It must," said Ingrid, "be one of us who has no power. Someone with no kingdom." Thoughtfully, Truth Field Projection Princess said, "someone would have to give up her kingdom... abdicate... for the right to wield the power." "That person should even be exiled from her home," agreed Desert Princess! "She must have nothing–no home and no line to follow her. When her day ends, so does her power!"

As Finn watched, his mystery woman slowly and carefully steered the Crowned Heads of Ooo in the direction of creating the post of elected-tyrant. He began to wonder if this hadn't been her plan all along. His mind went back to the game of chess where she'd whipped him repeatedly. She'd chided him for his inability to see more than a few steps ahead. Clearly she was pretty far down the road ahead of them all. It was a frighteningly uncomfortable feeling, knowing her past encounters with Bonnie.

In short order, the focus of the entire meeting shifted, going from the issue of what to do with the robots to how they would control the robots' master. A secretary–Ragnhild–got elected to record minutes. The gathered Royals had an animated discussion about electing a dictator, much to the chagrin of both Bonnie and Wildberry. Suddenly neither of them had any power. Finn might have pitied them if not for his terror at how this was going to end up. He could see a hundred nasty ways for this whole thing to go in the ditch. "I don't like this," murmured Sarah. "That makes two of us," Finn replied. The princesses seemed almost-mesmerized by the voice of a woman who had been _dead_ for thirty years. Even Bonnie was giving the stranger her rapt attention.

As the discussion wound down, Sarah's hand found Finn's, and he got a vibe of fear from her. "Shouldn't you...," she murmured? He knew what she was asking. She wanted him to go down there, thrash their strange nemesis, and show her the door. "I can't," replied Finn. "She hasn't done anything wrong. Honestly, a lot of what she's said is right. Bonnie really _shouldn't_ be trusted with the army." Sarah's head whipped around. "Bonnie's not _evil_ , Peebs," he said. "But she's not always engaged with people around her. You know that better than anyone."

Nodding, Sarah acknowledged he was right. Hadn't she said those same words to Fionna. Her creator had forgotten the world until Finn came along, and she still frequently found the time to _forget_ that there was something more than her laboratory. "Honestly," said Finn, "I'm not sure anybody here should be trusted with the army. If I had a vote, it'd go to Beemo's dad." Moe was one of the oldest people on Ooo, and he was old enough to remember the war and all the ugliness that came from it. "And he might be wise enough never to turn the key on that army," sighed Sarah. Nodding, she admitted, "you're right, babe. It shouldn't be anybody in this room."

Sliding her arm around his, Sarah lay her head against his shoulder as they listened to the princesses wrap things up. Down below, Bonnie found herself nodding along in relief. She'd been terrified that everything she'd worked for was about to be destroyed. She wasn't sure she would be happy with whoever was elected to be warlord, but the fact that the electee wouldn't have a kingdom went some way towards making her comfortable with this. They just had to pick somebody who didn't really have ambitions towards conquest. The fact that they would, collectively, be supporting their general would go a long way towards reducing those ambitions. Why attack others when you had everything you could want?

Honestly, Bonnie had some hunger for the job herself. The Candy Kingdom was approaching a state where it was self-sustaining without her. The Kingdom had Bon to run things, and Shoko and Rosie to understudy him. The chances of the aliens coming back were relatively small. She'd be on guard against the emptiness of space for the rest of her very-long life, which meant she would have plenty of time for her experiments. Turning to Nadia, she whispered, "nominate me..." The cyborg woman frowned at her and whispered back, "are you sure? You know what this means..." "Yeah," said Bonnie. "I... nominate me." "Ok," breathed the Grid-Face Princess.

*I will now accept nominations for the post of Commander-Warlord of the Machine Army,* declared Princess Beautiful. Silenced reigned for a moment. Then, at her friend's urging, Nadia rose and offered, "I nominate Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum." Surprised voices rang out then, and Finn half-expected to hear Wildberry shouting, "see! See! See!" Instead, the smug berry-person merely stood and said, "I nominate Maudie, Princess Peanut." Ragnhild seconded Bonnie's nomination, and Yolanda seconded Maudie's. *Do I have any other nominations,* asked Princess Beautiful? There were none, though Finn found himself frowning down at his lady. What was she doing? Princess Beautiful turned to Ragnhild and said, *pass out the voting devices.*

It was Bonnie's home, and so it was Bonnie's methods that typically got used. The pretty princesses all got handed little tablets. Ragnhild did the count of them twice and then headed back to her seat as the voting got underway. Sarah, staring down at her creator, said, "I don't understand... She seems... _serene_. Even _happy_." Finn didn't understand either. She had seemed more devoted to taking care of the Candy Kingdom than anything else–even their kids. This play didn't really make sense for her. Unless... _The fucking lab,_ he thought. The one thing that could get Bonnibel Bubblegum to neglect her duties was the fucking laboratory. When she was down in the lab, in her groove, she could give a fuck less what was going on in the world. He almost wanted to punch her. She'd promised to be a more involved mom with Rosie, but that seemed to have been a lie.

Indeed, Bonnie _was_ happy. As the clickers clicked, recording the votes of her colleagues, her mind drifted on a cloud of happy daydreams where she lost herself deep in the fundamental mysteries of the universe. There was so much she could discover. Her every want would be taken care of and provided for. She'd be actually _forbidden_ from dabbling in the politics of the Candy Kingdom. Bon, Shoko, and Rosie would take care of all of that for her. It was the culmination of all her hopes and dreams. Finally, as she cast her vote, the last of her fellows cast theirs, and it was time to settle up and see who had won.

Maudie, she knew, had few friends besides Wildberry and Yolanda. She'd had no time to lobby for more support. She was going into this cold, whereas Bonnie herself had plenty of friends and admirers amongst the council. She was a shoe-in. It was all over but the counting. As Ragnhild tallied the votes, the tall princess quickly put together a speech, accepting the post and thanking all her friends and allies. When the Frozen Yogurt Princess stood to announce the totals, every face there was staring at hers. The butterflies in Bonnie's stomach bounced around at a ferocious pace.

The pale princess stared at the tablet in her hand, a frown curling her beautiful brow. Bonnie almost screamed at her in frustration. _Announce it already,_ she thought! _It's what I want!_ Glancing up, Ragnhild looked up into the darkness above the hall and then looked back at the screen, her face a study in surprise. Princess Beautiful asked, *is there a problem?* Looking up from the screen with a sheepish expression, Froyo Princess murmured, "well... that's interesting..." " _What_ ," demanded Bonnie?! The suspense was killing her! With a giggle, Ragnhild reported, "thirty-seven votes for Finn the Human. Three abstentions... Three votes for Maudie. One vote for Bonnibel Bubblegum!" Finn, who had been in the middle of taking a drink, sprayed Sarah. Bonnie's jaw came unhinged.

The hall erupted then, with Wildberry and Bonnie both crying foul and howling about the Rules. No-one had ever said there could be write-in candidates! Both had thought there were only _two_ choices on the ballot! At the same time, Alexia pointed out that no-one had said there _couldn't_ be write-ins, and Princess Beautiful was forced to agree. There were shouts about a revote and shouts about a recount and shouts about just accepting what was and had been for the last thirty years. After all, it wasn't _Bonnie_ or _Maudie_ who beat the Lich and the aliens. And through it all, Warrior Princess Ingrid sat there in the heart of the storm, _smiling_ like the Jake that ate all the Finn-Cakes.

In the end, Princess Beautiful declared the election _closed_. Since no-one could point to any precedent that said it should be overturned or annulled, in her mind, the matter was settled. That sent Wildberry Princess and her friends and their entourages storming out of the hall in a rage and sent Bonnie and her Privy Council to her office to lick their wounds, regroup, and figure out what to do with _this_ mess.

With Cherry, Nadia, Phoebe, and Ragnhild all gathered in her office, the pink princess paced off nervous, almost-violent energy as she muttered unladylike riddley-raddley-ragglesnatzes under her breath. It was the first Nadia had ever seen her in such a state as that, and it had all but Cherry walking on eggshells so as not to set her off. She was violently angry. This whole thing had somehow gotten twisted, and she was perilously close to wanting to hit someone.

Out of the blue, she turned and demanded Ragnhild call up the vote totals again. In spite of her puzzlement–since it seemed hardly to _help_ matters–the Frozen Yogurt Princess did just that. An offended Bonnie howled, "what? Did they all vote with their cunts?!" Both Nadia and Phoebe blushed. Suddenly, the irritated piece of candy looked up at the two of them. "Who did _you_ vote for," she growled? At Phoebe's sheepish chuckle, the bubblegum woman grabbed her by the throat and started shaking her, shouting, "I thought you were my friend!" Cherry whistled for their attention–and even shot the pistol in her purse into Bonnie's desk to interrupt the violent display.

As Bonnie darted back, the calm, cold voice of hard reality in their midst declared, "you _lost_ , Bonnie. Whatever stupid scheme you were planning is _null_. Taking it out on Phoebe isn't going to change that. The important thing is that the war-machine survives. Right now we have a _chance_ against the aliens if they come back." She had their undivided attention now. Sliding the pistol back in her purse, she said, "we need to figure out what Ingrid's angle was. She clearly expected this. Why? Why would she push Finn to become master of the army...?"

"That one's easy," rumbled Baba Yaga. "Your boy-toy is now forever exiled from this kingdom. Answer the question of why she wants that, and you just might be making progress." Every face there looked up at the tall woman standing in the doorway, and Bonnie's face went ghostly pale. Phoebe, sank into her chair in a state of shock. It had been meant as a lark–a _joke_. She'd assumed Bonnie would win. Now they were facing a dreadful consequence that nobody had thought of.

 **Poor Sarah. Lured in by shiny things! And Finn seems to have won an election that he didn't actually want to participate in. It (always) gets worse before it gets better.**


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18:

The unhappy faces were the worst of it. Everywhere he looked in that small space were unhappy faces. From BMO to Fionna and Bonnie to Simone, there was a pile of angry, upset faces in that room. It was so bad, Phoebe was out on the road, crying. The mood was so thick, he was having trouble looking them in the eye. He feared if his eyes lingered even a moment too long, he'd have a dozen wailing, crying women on hand with no way to calm them down.

It helped not at all that Emeraude, Nadia, and Phoebe had voted for this. Bonnie, Cherry, and Simone had been livid. Drew had spent precious political capital getting everybody calmed down. The girls were speaking again, but every moment seemed destined to start another eruption. Of course nobody spent any time on what this was doing to _him_. Ironically, the only person to raise the topic was Betty, but she'd gotten drowned out. The big man was thoroughly miserable. He was losing the home of his last thirty years. He'd gotten married here and raised six great kids. He'd been looking forward to raising ten more. Now he was half afraid he wouldn't get to see them anymore.

"Let's eat," he said. "This isn't helping us. Let's go out and have dinner." E would have to go soon. The Grey Forest wasn't running so well that it could long manage without her. This might be the last time they were gathered like this. A big part of him honestly feared he'd go into exile in the spring when the ice was gone and promptly be forgotten. The pack of them trooped downstairs, making their way to the big party tent there. As the gathering filled in at the tables, Phoebe came up from the road, her expression strangely serene. Striding up to the head of the table, she slipped her arms around Finn, and kissed him thoroughly. Turning to Emeraude, she kissed the wizard on the cheek and thanked her for the locket that now kept the Quicksilver Curse at bay, safeguarding Cole's life. Then she went to her place at the table, sat down, and waited for dinner to begin. Even Cherry gaped at her.

Dinner was a somber affair with the family mostly not speaking. Whether it was the looming exile of the head of the house, the ongoing spat between Fionna and Patrick, the continuing threat of the curse, or the looming tiff between Star and Thor, not a lot got said. Certainly nothing of substance. Baba Yaga did her best to keep the gathering entertained with stories of the old days, before the bombs fell. In the end, most everyone was happy for dinner to be over. Bon immediately gathered up his little family, got in their limo, and got out of there. Star was minutes behind, leaving _without_ Thor. Finn left the tent and wandered down to the road with Baba Yaga at his side.

"What will you do now," the witch asked? With a shrug, Finn replied, "dunno. Got to figure out where I'm going to stay." There was a lot of empty land interspersed among the kingdoms. They'd never said he couldn't find himself a little cabin on a small plot somewhere to live. It would be pretty hard hauling the war-machine all over creation on his back if he had to keep moving. "They're stupid," muttered the witch. Finn shrugged. It was better than handing the power to Maudie. He had made his peace with things. Whining wasn't going to help them. In the now, he was going to try and finish his trip. He was going to go see the girls as best he could while the chance was there. After, he wasn't sure how he was going to manage. "You're a strange man," muttered the witch.

He wasn't sure if that was disapproval or what. Moving on, he said, "do me a favor..." He knew she was planning to head for home now that the question of what to do with the war-machine was resolved. Frowning at him, she asked, "what?" "Ride with me as far as the Grey Forest," said Finn. E would be heading out in the morning, and he'd been thinking of driving with her. "Well," sighed the Rusalka. "You're going in my direction. I suppose I could accept a ride that far..." Hugging her, he said, "don't bowl me over with your enthusiasm." That made her laugh. More seriously, he said, "I have to wander... Maybe I might drop in and say, 'hi', sometime... Don't get to hear music much anymore since Jake moved out, and Simone started working." The witch flipped him off, saying, "don't get any ideas, gigolo. I still don't like seconds..."

Back inside, Simone cornered her little brother to ask the burning question that had been bothering her ever since she found out about the blowup between he and Fionna. Her daughter was helping to clean up the mess, and now she had a chance to get Patrick alone. "Alright," rumbled the Ice Queen. "What gives? You used to make moon eyes at her, and now the two of you are almost spitting at each other." Patrick blushed to his hair. At first he tried to go stubborn, but Simone wasn't having any of that. "Talk, Patrick," she said. "I've let this drag on to give you the chance to sort it out, but I'm running short of patience. Don't you want to straighten this out? Or do you want to be like your grandfather and let your world slip out of your hands?"

Patrick sighed heavily and said, "I tried to talk to Fionna about ADHD. She blew up at me. I've... I got mad back at her..." That gave Simone pause. She'd known her daughter had a severe case of ADD, but she'd done her best to ignore it. It wasn't as though she could bop down to the pharmacy and pick up meds for her. This was Ooo, not the Earth of her father's memories. Her husband had helped Fionna learn to cope when people made fun of her for her bad habits and odd ways. She'd thought Fionna was a pretty well-adjusted adult in spite of her handicap. _Now what,_ thought the pale beauty?

"I wanted to help her," sighed Patrick. "Sis... I'm... I'm so much in love with her, and then there's times I want to wring her neck." "That's the surest sign of love, Patrick," said Betty. "That you get angry and want to shout instead of wanting to just walk away. You know things have failed when you want to walk out." Patrick flinched a little. He had never gotten along well with his own mom, and the thought of talking through this problem with that most-disapproving of people terrified him. Betty stepped up beside him and hugged him instead of lighting into him. "Let it out," Betty murmured. "I'm not going to yell at you for being angry and upset. I had to learn that myself... to address what's really bothering me instead of addressing the anger."

"I wanted to help her, and she yelled at me for calling her stupid," sighed Patrick. "It... made me mad as hell. She's... a mess, and she just won't see it." "She gets it from her father," Simone admitted. "Finn doesn't really like being reminded of his... handicaps." Early on, he'd tried to embrace it and make a joke out of it. Later on, when the kids had come along, he buried it deep and tried to pretend it wasn't there. "And I was kind of an asshole to him," Betty admitted. "I'd... I have to admit that I'm kind of responsible for some of the problem."

Patrick stared at her a long few moments after that exposition. "W-where's my mom," he babbled? Betty and Simone both laughed. "There's more changes than just Ranna, baby," she said. "Let me talk to Fionna. Give me a couple of days to get this straightened out, ok?" Patrick frowned at her, and Simone chipped in with, "daddy had to talk to me a few times, Patrick. Sometimes we need mediation instead of confrontation." Uncertainly, Patrick nodded. Just then, Finn came back into the tent, announcing, BMO's gonna' show a movie. Let's get the tables rearranged so we can watch."

The little robot carefully set up his holo-projector, while Finn, Patrick, and Emeraude rearranged the furniture so everyone could sit and watch. As the sun sank below the horizon and a chilly fall wind began to blow, the family settled in to watch a movie together–for what might have been the last time ever. Finn did his best to take care of them, rushing in and out of the tent with refreshments, and doing his best to snuggle with whoever he'd been unable to see last time. It was an almost-comic sight to the Rusalka, as she watched him try to please that pack of fools to his own cost. It was almost better than watching the movie! As the credits rolled on the movie, Emeraude's bodyguards got up, gathered up their sleeping-gear, and decamped for the house. They'd take guard-duty on and off through the night.

Finn, who'd been snuggling with Nadia, sighed heavily. "I'm sorry," she murmured. "Forget it," he replied. "We drive on." Rising, he went about the job of getting everything put away so Simone and Betty would have less to deal with when he was gone. While he was working at that, Cherry, Lollipop, and Drew said their goodbyes before heading home in Cherry's limo. Then, a short time later, Bonnie, Nadia, and Sarah said their goodbyes and headed off in Bonnie's limo.

When the others had gone, Simone got about the job of laying out sleeping spaces for those who were left. Baba Yaga landed in Billy's old room. Betty went to sleep upstairs with Simone and Emeraude, while Marceline ended up crashing in Star's room, and Emeraude's bodyguards got space on the floor in the living room, while Phoebe ended up in the furnace once more. After finishing up the job of tearing down the tent and stashing it in the workshed out back, Finn climbed the stairs, gathered up the bundle of bedding his wife had left him, and headed for his study to get what sleep he could.

As the clock in the living room chimed for eleven, Finn found himself tossing and turning, unable to sleep, as his mind churned on what needed to get done. He was going away. He was going away, and he didn't know how he was going to get out from under this commitment that had basically been foisted on him. If not for the fact that the alternative seemed to have been smashing their one defense against the aliens, he would have put some of those bitches over his knee and then told them where to stick those robots. Unfortunately, he was probably stuck with the job for at least a year–until he could maybe convince Moe to take it or something.

Outside his study, Phoebe Mertens stood doing her best not to wake the nymphs in the living room. She'd done her best to slip up the stairs while the one on guard was outside. Now she'd made it to Finn's room, and she found herself almost too nervous and scared to go in. She'd been thinking about this all evening. She'd sort of decided to come up when everybody had gone to bed. She'd had Finn to herself for just a scant few days, and after that she'd been too knocked up to have any fun afterwards. Now she had another chance.

Mindful of the shocking consequences of the last time they'd gotten it on like this, she'd brought Bonnie's Nomex diaphragm. Both Drew and Bonnie had both admonished her to use it if she planned on having fun in the future. The scary things she'd gone through with Cole–and continued to go through even now–sort of had made a believer out of her, and she'd sworn she would use the thing. Except she'd screwed up and forgotten to put it in. She'd intended to put it in while she was downstairs, but she'd forgotten in her fear of getting spotted.

As she stared at the thing, trying to screw up her courage, her mind went to Simone. She had Billy and Fionna. Hell, Bonnie had _two_ daughters. Thinking of that brought back memories of Ember–Finn's name for the daughter they didn't get. When Cole was born, they'd gone with that as it made a pretty good boy-name. Now she wished she had a girl. "Fuck it," she murmured, as she tossed the thing in the corner.

Marching in, bold as brass, she drew the door closed and whispered to Finn, trying to wake him. Finn sat up to find Phoebe coming towards him, and what she was wearing had his little buddy–who'd gone neglected these last few months–standing up proud in his boxers. Dressed in a transparent gown that was cut low on her hips and featuring two wide straps that went up and over her big knockers and around her neck, barely containing her endowment, she made glass look sexy.

Finn climbed out of bed as she approached and met her in the center of the room. "Hey," she greeted him. "Hey," he replied, his eyes going up and down that gorgeous body. "I see you still like it," giggled Phoebe. "Yeah," said he. Showing just how much he did like it, Finn reached out and pulled his woman to him, slipping his arms around her and kissing her too-hot lips. "Mmmm," moaned the elemental-woman as his big right paw squeezed her ass. With no Cinnamon Bun messing with her meds, Phoebe was firm and solid in all the right places and just hot enough to remind him of what she was. Finn grabbed his girl by the wrist and dragged her towards the rough bed he'd made on the floor.

Once there, Finn pulled her back into his arms, sliding his hands around her waist. He couldn't help running his hands all over her flat belly and smooth skin. Her right booby had popped out while he was dragging her to his bed, and he cupped it in his big right hand, stroking it and caressing it. Turned on, Phoebe sighed as she started to grind her ass against his fat dick. "I missed this," she breathed. She knew this was wrong. She'd been taking a beating in the news in her homeland, with some of the more powerful families labeling her a whore and worse. At the same time, she was desperately in love with Finn the Human, and simply delighted to have him back in her life once more. Finn's left hand slipped up underneath her left knocker, sliding between it and the strap of her dress, stroking and caressing it. It had been a while since he'd had her, and Phoebe was horny out of her mind. "Finn," she whined. "Stop teasing..."

The big man pulled her down on top of his bed, slipped the skimpy outfit off of her, and tossed it aside. His hands busied themselves caressing her too-hot body, while his lips savored the feel of hers. With so many people in the house, she was a little self-conscious, urging him to speed it up, but he took his time. His fingers caressed her hot-button, teasing her and getting her more and more excited before he eventually slipped a thick, calloused finger into her honey-pot and began to stroke her hot sex. Between his cold, wet lips on her heaving boobies and the feel of his rough finger against her now-solid flesh, it didn't take long at all before Phoebe was squirming on the floor, her butt wriggling like she was having a seizure. "Ohh, baby," she whined. "Baby, _please_..." She wanted dick. She wanted it right now.

Eager to please, Finn climbed up over her, fumbling his pecker out of his fly. "Yeeesss," wailed the elemental girl as he stuck that fat baby-maker inside. His curvy beauty wrapped her meaty thighs around his waist, locking him in, as the two became one big nasty. One hand stroked her hips and round ass as he screwed the shit out of her. The other occupied itself with her big, right knocker, while he tried to contain her squeals and screams with his mouth–mostly unsuccessfully. One moment, she'd be screaming into his mouth. The next, her thrashing would break the seal, and he'd wince at the volume.

Hips surging, fingers clawing at his scar-coated back, Phoebe shot off the edge like a runaway train, clamping down on his lip with her very-solid teeth hard enough that it hurt like hell. Finn shot off deep inside, flooding her snatch with his thick goo, causing her to squeal all the harder. Laying atop her, feeling her squirming underneath him, rubbing that beautiful body all over his, Finn felt a little better. He was a fool in love. He was a fool who couldn't stop loving all the mad-women in his life. If that was the death of him, he could accept that. Stroking her hair, he whispered, "still in love." "Me too," Phoebe burbled muzzily. Realizing that she was laying on top of his very-flammable bedding, she said, "I-I better go." Finn kissed those plump lips again.

Not long after Phoebe had gone back downstairs, a noise at the door of his office alerted Finn to the fact that he had another visitor. Simone Mertens had gotten a little thirsty in the middle of the night, and she'd come downstairs intending to have a glass of water and head back up to bed. She'd been a little surprised to hear the sounds of hot sex coming from Finn's office, since she already knew Emeraude was upstairs in bed. She'd snuck over to take a look and been shocked to watch Phoebe and Finn going at it. She'd gotten strangely turned on watching her husband and best friend going at it. She knew, theoretically, that Finn and Phoebe had engaged in sex. Cole was living proof of that. It was quite another thing to _watch_ it. Now the horny housewife–who'd been missing a lot of time with her own husband–decided to have a turn of her own.

Morning found Finn the Human packing his truck and Emeraude's with supplies and equipment for survival in the wilderness. He'd spent much of the night awake in his office. After Simone left him, Marceline had dropped in. He'd really only talked with Marcy, but they'd been up quite a number of hours, and he was feeling it. Standing beside him, Fionna watched and kibitzed as he stuffed every nook and cranny of both vehicles with tools and necessities. "Wish I was coming," she sighed. "Me too," Finn admitted. He would have liked to have the company. "And I'm chopped lamb, yes," groused Baba Yaga. She was teasing, of course. Nothing would ever replace his wives and kids in his life.

Voletta and her crew came out of the house then, carrying their gear. At their leader's direction, they moved right in and stuffed their gear under the seats in the Matriarch's conveyance. Voletta herself went around and double-checked Finn's work. He did his best not to get irritated by that, when he'd been packing gear onto that truck for two decades. The other three women sort of _stared_ at Finn as their boss worked, and belatedly he realized that they might well have heard him carrying on with Phoebe and Simone. Then his face went red hot, and suddenly Voletta's meddling was the least of his problems. He quickly found something to do at the front of his own truck.

Fionna was left with the strange witch-woman. She looked almost human–if you didn't count the way her skin would sometimes shift colors with whatever she was standing on at the time. "I look after him as I can," murmured the witch. Fionna's face snapped up towards hers. With a shrug, the witch admitted, "he's sort of the only friend I have in the world. It's... worth something to me." Fionna nodded. Her dad had said she was like uncle Jake, and Fionna could sort of see that. "We will be alright, nemnogo krasoty," said the witch. "Sometimes you hit a bad run on the dice. Life goes on."

Betty and Simone came out just then. After only a moment's looking around, the pair went straight to the front of Finn's truck and had a whispered conversation with their husband. _Saying goodbye,_ thought Fionna. "Come on, little one," said the witch, "hug your aunt Talia goodbye." The leggy blonde hugged the witch. When Emeraude came out, it was time to go. "C'mon, gigolo," said the witch. "I'll drive for a while. Yes, I've seen that yawning. Maybe you'd be rested if you hadn't spent half the night fucking." Finn, Simone, Betty, and Emeraude all blushed to their hair, while Fionna howled laughter. Yes, she kind of liked 'aunt Talia'.

Emeraude's entourage climbed into the passenger seats of her truck, while she said her own goodbyes, hugging Simone and Betty. Finn hugged Fionna before climbing into the passenger side of his truck. "You any good at this," he asked Baba Yaga? The witch floored it, slamming the truck into gear at the same time, leaving a cloud of smoke and four streaks of black down the driveway. Shaking her head, Emeraude hugged Fionna before climbing behind the wheel of her own truck and setting out.

Rolling across the Candy Kingdom, they swiftly passed Cocoa city, which stood hard by the border with Wildberry Kingdom. Once upon a time, Finn had dueled James Plumly and his gang for control of the town. After a series of bloody street-battles, the gangster had retired across the border to lick his wounds. They took the turn to the north to skirt the border–taking the long way. With things so _volatile_ with Wildberry, Finn wanted to take no chances. At night, they camped out in the wilderness with E's bodyguards taking turns with Finn on guard duty. Three days after setting out, the little group found themselves rolling into the Grey Forest to little fanfare.

Eyes taking in the sights, Finn fell in behind his wife as she threaded her way through town's narrow, winding trails to the Matriarch's residence. There had been a few changes since the last time the big man had been in the town. Down on the square near his wife's house, he found men out on the streets, and it wasn't dark. They were patching houses and pitching in at fixing some of the damage that had been done in the raid. Indeed, as he exited the truck, he found himself confronting what actually looked like _families_ out and about in the town. Seeing where his eyes were going, Emeraude said, "I... made some changes to the laws."

When he glanced over, he found her staring at where a house was being decorated for a wedding. "Only men who are legally married before the eyes of the Matriarch are allowed to stay," she sighed. "No more slackers and johns hanging around. If they're not productive, they don't stay." Glancing up at her husband, she said, "and no more drug-addled victims. All would-be husbands get tested for signs of being drugged. If any are found, the wanna-be wife gets her ass kicked out for ten years. No appeal." With all that was going on and the hate that was on their people right now, none of them wanted _that_. Emeraude had announced a one-time amnesty. Men who were freed of the drugs and wanted to stay could stay. Many had departed for home, but some had chosen to stay on anyway. "I'm proud of you, babe," Finn murmured, which caused her to blush to her hair.

The big man was already moving on, saying, "where do I get tested?" Emeraude gaped at him. "Rules are rules," chuckled Baba Yaga, as she went sauntering by, carrying an overnight bag. Voletta declared, "I will see to it, Mother. I'm sure Marianne is anxious to see you..." Emeraude flushed. Marianne usually had a pile of _work_ for her. Finn fell in behind the Law Keeper, as she set out. "I don't understand you," she said. As Finn came even with her, Voletta gave him a frown. "Nobody would have questioned," she said. Finn laughed, "nobody would have said anything. There would have been _plenty_ of questions." He wasn't going to be the one to undermine E's authority, and that started with him obeying the rules. All of them.

Meanwhile, in Wildberry Kingdom, the diminutive tyrant was in something of a snit. She had been certain of victory until fucking Warrior Princess put her nose in. More shocking still was the outcome of the vote. She'd known going in that _nobody_ trusted Bonnibel. Even her own allies distrusted that cunt. So Wildberry had expected to flip a few votes to her side. Desert Princess or Purple Princess or maybe Jungle Princess. None of them trusted Bonnie with such a potent weapon. She'd been absolutely shocked when the pack of them proceeded to vote for Finn. They weren't _sixteen_ anymore! What were they thinking?!

"Hormones, dearie," declared a voice. As Wildberry spun around, a figure came out of the shadows, announcing, "you can never discount the effect hormones have on a mophead. I'm afraid he still makes them wet between the thighs, dearie, and _you_ don't." Wildberry hurled curses at the dark-haired, green-skinned woman who'd come out of the shadows in the corner. "Watch your mouth," growled Maja the Sky Witch. "I'd be more than happy to shut it for you, if I didn't have a use for you." Wildberry darted towards her desk and the secret drawer there. Maja let her, cackling the whole time as the little bitch jerked open the drawer to find it empty. Dangling the forbidden firearm that had lain there from one slim finger, Maja asked, "looking for this?" Twirling it from her fingertip, the witch said, "cute. Sort of says I've been out too long."

Striding across the room, the witch lay the weapon on the side-table as she approached the little Royal. "Got a proposition for you, dearie," said she, as she perched herself on the Princess's desk. Stepping backwards, Wildberry growled, "what is it? Speak before I call for the guards..." Maja laughed. "Guards are what I need, dearie," she said. "Need an army, actually." The little princess remembered that this woman had attempted to conquer Bonnie's kingdom with a giant, alchemical monster two decades ago. "There's a nasty little candy-person looking for you," growled the berry-woman. Maja chuckled. That was funny somehow.

"You can be my pawn," said Maja. "We split the whole pie two ways. You and your friends get half. I get the other half... In exchange, I make you almost as mighty as me." Wildberry glared at her, but said nothing. Calmly, the witch laid it all out. "You've got friends, yes," she asked? "We build a common army. To smash gumwad and her friends." "Her boyfriend controls an army of robots," retorted Wildberry. "Why do you think I don't just smash her right now?" "Then we get rid of him," Maja retorted. "There's lots of ways to skin a dog, sour-berry. Just you wait and see."

The nasty berry-person seemed to think about that. Softly, she said, "I want more. I don't just want Bonnibel to die. I want to humiliate her. She flounces around showing off to everybody. She's eternally beautiful, and she tries to flaunt it and lord it over all of us. I want to humble her and shame her before I cut her guts out." Maja gave her a sharp smile and a wicked cackle as if that was the most entertaining thing she'd heard in forever. She laughed so long that Wildberry was considering calling the guards anyway. Then, just as suddenly as that storm of laughter had come up, the witch replied, "you're on, dearie. We've got ourselves a deal. I'll make you the envy of every princess in Ooo and give you power like none have held before. You deliver me an army, worthy of the name. Deal?" Wildberry spat in her hand and clasped the evil witch's hand, shaking it firmly as she announced, "deal."

Late that afternoon, Finn the Human walked into Baba Yaga's room in the Matriarch's house to find her feeding her coat. "That's the craziest thing I ever saw," he admitted. The witch shrugged. She'd never really liked killing mink to wear them. It felt like a waste. "Need a favor," he announced. The Rusalka frowned up at him. Finn gave her a charming smile, and suddenly she realized just why it was that he'd prevailed upon her to ride this far with him. Momentarily she was muttering curses in Russian. At the same time, he could tell she was intrigued. He was starting to be able to read the witch-woman. She was intrigued enough that he thought she would listen to his questions. Indeed, shaking her head, she put the coat back to sleep and lay it aside prior to following him out into the forest outside.

"It's pretty peaceful, this place," said Finn, as they stood outside in the late afternoon sun. "Peaceful enough for a brothel," she retorted. Flushing, Finn said, "they don't have a lot of choices, B. I mean, you saw some of that in your land..." "You're doing it again," she muttered. He was challenging her solidarity with all things feminine. With a shrug, he said, "I don't have a choice. I kind of have to do this. They need the help. I'm just one man." "You're a man with an army of killer machines," retorted Baba Yaga. He stared her straight in the eye and said, "I can no more do that, than you could have used the Weapon on Yuri." Her eyes went wide, and she scanned the scene for several seconds before she realized he'd spoken in Russian.

Softly, she said, "what do you want of me?" Finn began to articulate his wife's problem. The constant raids of the slavers and other assorted sick fuckers were taking a toll. E spent as much time keeping her people together as keeping them fed and clothed, and it was wearing her out. "And you think I can help her how," asked the Rusalka? Rolling his eyes, Finn said, "you're clever, and your powers revolve around the natural environment..." He reminded her of the machines she'd used to fight off the Lich and his minions and the other clever ways she'd fortified her home. "The point," he said, "is, she needs something that doesn't hurt the forest but gives her people a defense against the sickos trying to get in to hurt them."

"You don't ask much, do you," groused the witch. Finn shrugged. "Alright," said she. "I'll work the problem. Give me a week." Bowing from the waist, he thanked her profusely. "Ah-ah-ah, gigolo," she told him. "This will cost you a big favor." "Name it," he immediately replied. "Later," she said. "In the right now, get lost. I imagine you have plenty of fucking to do anyway." Finn glared at her, but he did just what she'd said. He got out of there.

The Hero of Ooo did find himself with plenty to do. Emeraude's days were just as busy as before. Securing equipment to heat the town had helped a lot, but they were still behind on food production, and winter was coming up fast. On top of that, the town's burgeoning militia was in something of a state with few weapons and little to no training. Just like the men he'd admonished to step up, the big man moved in, rolled his sleeves up, and got busy. Though his wife more or less lost track of what he was doing, nearly everyone else saw him that week. His days would start early, with him running an impromptu class on fighting. Every able bodied citizen not actively engaged in hunting down food was required to attend. He had Voletta's lieutenant round them up if they didn't.

When the class ended at lunch, he wolfed down a quick meal before heading to the town's sole blacksmith shop. There he pitched in helping to break down scrapmetal and junk scrounged out of the wilderness, turning the results into usable weapons to replace the wooden sticks that Voletta's troops had. Sometimes, he drove the blacksmith and his apprentices out into the wilderness to hunt up old cars and hunks of junk from before the war that they could use, dragging or hauling the results in to pile up beside the smithy. He even managed, with the help of one of Nadia's dudes, to get one of the old cars running once more so the blacksmith could use it when he'd gone.

Evenings he spent either with Emeraude alone or sometimes with Baba Yaga. The witch was gone as often as she was present. He did little to keep track of her. She was a woman of her word, and he trusted that she would do what she promised. When she was present in the Matriarch's house, he did his best to butter her up by singing to her or entertaining her with stories of his adventures with Jake back when they were just two dudes alone in their own place with no responsibilities. Finally, on the sixth day since their arrival, the witch pronounced that she would be ready. Not a moment too soon because Finn had to move on. He wanted to go and see Nadia and spend a little time with her while he had the chance.

The witch woman took charge of the Law Keeper's few troops, admonishing them to shut down the hunting parties and gather the citizens in the heart of the forest. What she was about to do was dangerous already without people wandering in and out of the work zone. "About that," said Emeraude. "What are...?" Finn shushed her. Questioning Baba Yaga could set her back up, and they were too close for that. He bade Voletta do just as asked.

The Law Keeper, knowing Finn's quality, and having seen what Baba Yaga could do from hundreds of miles away, rushed off and got her troops to work. Every soul in the town was either shut in his or her home or gathered on the square as the witch prepared to work. As Finn and his wife watched, Baba Yaga shed the robe she was wearing and lay herself down naked on the ground. With seemingly the whole of the town watching, the nature spirit began to chant.

It began as a whisper, then slowly rose in volume until it filled the air with the soft guttural syllables of a particularly old dialect of Russian. The handful of Grid-Face people who were still here listened and stared in fascination. Several took out gadgets, and Finn knew they were _studying_ the witch. In the middle of her chanting, the witch called out to Finn, commanding, "give me your hand, hero..." Finn rushed forward and clasped the Rusalka's outstretched hand in both of his. There was a moment's silent communication, and then he felt her take hold of the Quicksilver Curse.

The people of the town could _feel_ it. "Temporal waves," gasped the leader of the Grid-Face People, and he shivered in fear. "What," demanded Emeraude. "What does that mean?!" Sensing the Rusalka's control wavering, Finn shushed them both. He knew very well what she was doing, and it scared him witless. Out on the periphery of the forest, in empty, forgotten places, time sped up. He _felt_ it. Each minute became an eternity all on its own. It was like she was somehow projecting the curse outward. Minute by minute, she was _aging_ the Grey Forest–at least the borders of it. Finn could _feel_ her thoughts, and those thoughts frightened him a little. She'd _theorized_ all of this over the last few days, even probing the curse surreptitiously when he wasn't paying attention. Now she was working magic far beyond anything her oldest relatives had ever managed.

In that strange world outside time, he felt other creatures and knew them. Star. Fionna and her baby. Cole and Van. He thought he could even feel his wives and unborn babies. And even Marshall Lee. Then he felt her slowly drawing back, collapsing the strange energy field in on itself until it was around and then within him once again. Only then did Finn dare to breathe. Only then did he open his eyes. He found... silence. Nobody was talking. They were all just staring–the Grid-Face people with a look of awe on their faces. Finn's immediate thought was for his friend–his kinda-sorta-sister. Scooping her up off the ground, he rushed for the Matriarch's house, shouting at Voletta to bring him river-water, the muddier the better.

Finn took Baba Yaga straight upstairs to E's bathroom and lay her out in the tub. In short order, Voletta and her girls were coming in with buckets of pungent river water. As each bucket came in, he poured it into the tub, filling it to a level almost-even with the Rusalka's face. The nature spirit sighed heavily. That felt good. It felt _very_ good. Kneeling down alongside her, Finn took her hand and felt for her pulse. "I'll be fine," the witch yawned. "Tired." He could well imagine.

The witch turned those earthy brown eyes on him. Their eyes locked and a little bit of understanding seemed to pass between them. Sincerely, he offered, "thanks, babe. Thanks for helping me keep a promise..." Baba Yaga snorted, "you're going to thank me later..." Blushing, Finn chuckled. Yeah, he was going to owe her big for this. Somehow he didn't really mind. As she drifted off, he kissed her cheek, then headed outside to find Voletta's troops–and his wife–getting ready to go out and see what the witch had done. They'd all felt it. Every wizard in the town had felt what Baba Yaga was doing. Finn wanted to see it for himself. He was going to be paying her back for it after all.

They piled onto and into Finn's truck and Emeraude's, and the big man set out. Steering a course through the woods and back to the broad forest highway where they'd come in, Finn kept his eyes peeled for signs of what his friend had wrought. It didn't take long. In point of fact, they could see it long before they reached it. There was some sort of barrier at the end of the road, just at the verge where the forest met the grasslands. "Now I see," Finn burbled, as they came up on the strange barrier that would soon become known simply as 'The Wall'.

Voletta stared at him, but Finn wasn't paying attention. He had felt her working with the curse, speeding up time for some reason. Now he understood why. She'd been growing _this_. The wall was a thing of beauty. Thirty feet high, fifty feet thick, and faced with thorns that were three-to-six inches in length, it was a formidable barrier to anyone wanting to enter the forest. As he pulled up to the edge of it, he could see that it went north and south along the outskirts of the forest, sheltering the inside from anybody who might like to cause trouble. "Grey-briar," burbled Voletta. They were scattered all over the forest and had lent the forest its name. Most people did their best to avoid the brambles because they were painful and poisonous. Mostly, they were a nuisance, easily ignored. "Something tells me people won't be ignoring these," Finn murmured.

Stopping the truck, he climbed out to get a closer look. Emeraude and her entourage got out as well, and they immediately came forward to examine the witch's handiwork. The road itself was clear. The brambles grew up to the oil-soaked and matted soil that comprised the main thoroughfare through the Grey Forest, but the road itself was bare of them, so they could still leave. "Follow it," Emeraude ordered. Voletta sent her lieutenant and a patrol to go out and follow the wall as far as it went. In the now, the cabinet had a great deal to think about. The pack of them climbed back into E's truck and tore out of there, headed back to the Matriarch's house to talk about this development. Finn hung out to wait for Voletta's people to come back. Somebody had to give them a ride home.

In Wildberry Kingdom, the Princess came strolling into the witch's lair under her castle to find the woman pacing back and forth in agitation. Standing in the doorway, she greeted her unpleasant guest with, "you bellowed?" Up and back, up and back, paced Maja the Sky Witch, wringing her hands as Wildberry watched in puzzlement. She went on that way for quite a while, muttering under her breath, and she seemed almost not to have noticed the Princess's arrival–in spite of having summoned her. "Alright," muttered the Princess. "What's wrong?" "I _felt_ something," muttered Maja. Wildberry's eyebrow climbed a notch. She _felt_ something.

"I've never felt anything as powerful as that," muttered the witch. "Someone very dangerous is near. We shall have to postpone things..." Wildberry howled protests! Maja turned those cold, dark eyes on her and said, "we will postpone things, dearie. What I felt is _not_ to be trifled with. As bad as things have been going for you, lately, you shouldn't _want_ anymore trouble." Wildberry gobbled and sputtered for several moments. Then, as she realized just how unpleasantly _right_ this creature was, she subsided. "Ok," she muttered. "But I expect to get the rest of it. Soon." "You will, dearie," cackled the witch. "You surely will."

It was late when Voletta's lieutenant and her girls returned. They'd gone as far as they could and just given up. The wall seemed to go pretty much all the way around the forest. They found Finn snoozing in his truck. Walking right in, the nymphs knocked on the glass to wake him, then climbed aboard for the ride back home. They were happy to the point of being almost _giddy_. This was everything the town had needed and more. How many _centuries_ had the town suffered here with no defenses to speak of? How long had their kind had to skate by on their wits alone? "You've still got work to do," Finn said. "There's obviously holes in the wall. You're going to have to build gate-castles to protect them."

Voletta's lieutenant goggled at him a moment. She clearly hadn't thought of that. At the same time, Finn said, "hire it done. You've got wood and stone nearby. Hire some people to build up some defenses." One of the girls muttered, "we haven't got any more money. Somebody'd have to..." The Lieutenant flushed to her hair and cussed the younger girl, but Finn said, "I'd almost say it was worth it this time. It beats having sick fucks coming in to snatch you off the street all the time. Now you've got a chance to really make your laws stick. Don't stop. This isn't the time to stop."

Arriving back at the square, he dropped them off in front of the jail before heading on to his wife's house. Everywhere he went in the town, people waved and thanked him. More than one woman would have fed him on the spot, and there were a couple dozen offers to have his babies. He politely turned food and fucking down in favor of getting home to E to see how things were going. He found Baba Yaga sitting out front now, dozing off on the porch, her body barely covered with a thin housecoat and still smeared with daubs of mud from the water she'd bathed in. "You gonna' be ok," he asked, as he came up the stairs? "Fine," she replied. "She was looking for you. I told her you'd be back when the guards she abandoned in the woods were ready to return..." Finn blushed and laughed all at once as he imagined how that conversation had gone.

Marianne came out then. After a rather nervous glance at the witch-woman, she summoned the big man inside with a wave of her hand. Finn thanked the Rusalka once more, then headed inside. He found Emeraude in the conference room out front with her cabinet. They had a freshly drawn map on the table before them. He could see they'd sent more patrols out, and they now had a rough map of the area around the town. Their borders were almost completely sealed. The only weakness was the land to the east where the Grey Forest joined with a much larger forest, but trees could be cut. There were but four breaks in the barrier–one for each cardinal direction–that could be sealed off to protect the town and a fair amount of fertile forest. They had a food supply and water too.

Finn moved right in, stopped in front of the table, and bowed to the Matriarch. The Matron of the Purse opened with, "we can pay you the sum of eight-thousand coins today, Mr. Mertens..." "Don't need it," replied Finn. Emeraude steepled her hands in front of her on the table and said, "you're owed for what you did... The people of the forest owe you... We can't pay you what this is worth, but we can make a down-payment on it..." Smiling, Finn said, "the people of the forest gave me something worth more than every coin in the world. I just repaid them for the wonderful life I've had the last eighteen years." The Matriarch blushed and glanced away sharply.

Calmly, he stepped up to the table and began to lecture them, saying, "the two rivers flow under the thorns here, here, and here. You'll want to block the water-courses with grates. I would establish garrisons at these other two entrances–enough for a tripwire. Keep the gates closed there as much as you can, and only allow the main highway to stay open..." "That'll cut back on the trade," muttered a woman who'd stood off to one side. By her look, Finn took her to be one of the many women who ran the town's _industry_. Calmly, Finn said, "I think you'd be better served practicing the trade _outside_ anyway. You've gotten rid of the abusers and the people who steal from their neighbors. Don't' bring them back."

Emeraude shushed the older woman. That was an internal matter. What was far more important was figuring out how to build gates to block the entrances. They still lost if men could just ride down the highway to the town. "Thanks, Finn," she sighed. "I... Let's talk later." The big man bowed to his wife, turned, and headed back outside where he found his sister still sitting there, watching the world go by. Seeing the worry in his eyes, she muttered, "don't look at me that way." "What way you want me to look at you," he said with a leer? That actually made her laugh. He was crude. Like Yuri. Lovably crude. "Never change, Finn the Human," she sighed. "I won't," he replied. "Promise."

"So, Nat," he said. "What do I owe you?" He was taking kind of a chance. At the same time, they'd sort of become friends. "For the record," growled Baga Yaga, "it's Talia. If you're going to shorten somebody's name, you should ask what they like first..." Flushing, Finn replied, "I am what I am, Talia. I'm a dude. I screw up a lot. I've... I learned just to ask for forgiveness because I can't help the mistakes." The Rusalka flushed and glanced away. She had been struggling with that for many, many years. Frowning in puzzlement, he turned to her and asked, "if your name is Talia... why do they call you Baba Yaga?" She laughed. The tall woman laughed and laughed and laughed. "Why did they call Nicholas Tsar," she asked? "Why did they call Lincoln President? Why do they call you Warlord?" His eyes went wide, and he babbled, "it's a title..." Nodding, she said, "you owe me dinner. For now."

Just then, Emeraude's cabinet came out. As each woman passed, she bowed respectfully to the nature-spirit. When the last of them had disappeared into the night, the Matriarch herself came out onto the porch. E looked like _heaven_ to his eyes. At the same time, there were tears in her eyes. Smiling ear to ear, the big man said, "your promises are my promises, E." The wizard woman grabbed him by the collar and pulled his face down to hers before giving him a smoking hot kiss. Finn was blushing to his hair when she finally let go. "Yes, yes," muttered Baba Yaga. "You're welcome." The wizard turned and lay a big, sloppy wet one on _her_ too, causing the big man to howl laughter. Sputtering and spluttering, Baba Yaga shoved her away, which only made Finn laugh all the harder.

More serious now, E told her husband, "I gotta' go. I gotta' go to Voletta's..." Finn nodded. He'd kind of expected that. She had to get four forts built and built quickly, and she had to look at how they were going to patrol their new wall. He had something equally important to do. "See you tonight, babe," he said. When the wizard had gone, he found his female 'bro' all but laughing. "Dinner," he said. "C'mon."

Food wasn't so available here that it could be wasted, so Finn had to scrounge a little to put together a dish worthy of a Royal. Still, as she worked her way down through the savory stew on wild rice that he'd cooked up, the nature-spirit seemed content. She was ravenously hungry, which he imagined stood to reason considering what she'd done. When she finished her plate, he filled it again, skimping some on having dinner himself. After all, he hadn't just grown a thousand years worth of briar in a couple hours. On her side, the witch didn't miss the fact that he wasn't eating. She would have chided him for it if she didn't need the strength. At the same time, there was something much deeper than missing dinner bothering him.

He slowly went from chattering away about ideas for the gate-keeps to talking a little about his kids, to brooding. When he sank that low, she was forced to comment. "You're afraid of something," murmured the Rusalka. "What is it?" "They'll attack my family," Finn replied. "I... it's a big joke... It was a joke to Phoebes and Nadia... But that army's no joke. I've got a target painted on my back, and people are going to be going after my family now." Gesturing, he said, "Bonnie's got her Gumball Guardians, and she's got the Banana Guard. Nadia's got her science-biz and her forcefields. Simone rules over an invisible city chock full of nothing but wizards. Phoebe lives in a land of fire and poisonous smoke, surrounded by people who can burn you to death with a touch. And E's all alone out here in no-man's land with a city full of helpless women." It was a succinct read of an ugly situation. Talia muttered curses.

Finn was still speaking, and he told her, "I've made arrangements for the Grid-Face people here in the town to drop you off at the Door Lord's sanctum. I figure it'll be easier for you to get home from there. I don't think anybody will be coming after you, but you never know..." As she sat there frowning at him, he said, "I think it might be safer if you erased my memory..." Because he was afraid something would be done to make him talk. He was cutting ties with those who cared about him. Talia cussed him. Jabbing her fork at him, she said, "we went through this already, gigolo. You owe me. I aim to collect."


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19:

"I really don't agree with this, Mother," opined Apolline. Which she'd said ten times already. It hadn't changed Emeraude Mertens' mind before this, and it wasn't going to change her mind now. She'd gotten delayed twice now. She'd meant to leave _days_ ago, but there was still so much to get done. Though they'd gotten the gate-castles done, and their homeland was safe, such as it was, they weren't out of the woods yet. Infusions of cash from her personal fortune had brought in hunters and purchased livestock to get them through the winter, but she needed a permanent solution to the food problem. And they needed something _useful_ to trade. Tolls to use the road through the forest had helped some. Nobody wanted to go the long way around in the dead of winter, and they still had water to offer, shelter, and a little _comfort_ for travelers–particularly men.

Unfortunately one of her perennial problems was the back-sliding of her own kind. There were a fair number of women who were still practicing the trade with whoever they could lure off the highway. Emeraude had taxed it and taxed it again, hoping to stamp it out. Far from dissuading her pack of insipid nitwits, she'd ended up with a far worse problem. They were making _demands_. In their minds, if they were paying taxes, they should be getting _something_ out of the deal. The most outspoken of the pack, Auda, had been whining about accommodations in the hotel at the edge of the woods. The rickety, ramshackle _hotel_ had gotten built outside the walls with funds that somehow the various madams scraped together in spite of being _broke_. But Auda wasn't satisfied with even that. She felt they were owed _protection_.

And now the Matriarch had to somehow provide protection for them and a way for them to escape their own folly and get back into the forest in the event of danger. She would gleefully have set Auda and her friends ablaze in the street. The Cabinet didn't understand her opposition to what the madams were up to, but they hadn't really understood why she was so insistent on finding new avenues for revenue or any of the other things she was trying to do. She was the most unorthodox Matriarch ever, and this was one more thing to fight with them over. The Matriarch, once installed, never left home. And Emeraude Mertens had been back to that damned treehouse a dozen times since taking office.

Coldly, Emeraude replied, "this isn't for you to agree or disagree with Apolline... While I'm gone, you're in charge. Don't fuck up, or it'll be your ass. Clear?" The Matron of the Purse blushed to her hair. The touchy wizard wasn't shy about levying threats and telling others exactly how things were going to be. She had that aspect of the Matriarch's job down pat. _She_ was in charge, and she never let them forget it. The Matron of the Purse left her, and the Matriarch finished packing her belongings into her bags, thinking of Simone and Fionna and Star. And Finn.

Voletta came into her room as she was finishing up. "Mother," sighed the younger woman. "I don't understand..." Which didn't really come out the way she'd intended it to sound. At Emeraude's disapproving frown, the Law Keeper said, "he has those others... I..." "You don't understand _family_ ," retorted the Matriarch. "We're a _family_ , Voletta. We fight and we feud, and there's times I'd like to set Bonnie ablaze or drown Phoebe. But we're family. They've raised my kid, and I've raised theirs. I intend to be there for them. That's what family means." Nodding, the wizard hefted the Matriarch's bags and fell in behind her as the pair made the short journey down to the former stable that sat behind the Matriarch's home.

Said stable had become a garage where the forest's sole mechanic maintained the treasure Emeraude's sister-wife had gifted her. After the end of the Lich's War, Cherry no longer had a real use for the armored, off-roading limo that she'd used in the wilds north of Purple Kingdom. Seeing that the Matriarch was becoming a more active participant on the world-stage, the crime-boss had given her the limo as a means to reconcile past misdeeds. Now that machine served as the Matriarch's official transportation. Emeraude's old truck had gotten repurposed to serve the patrols that looked after The Wall.

The Law Keeper placed the Matriarch's luggage in the racks in the center of the van and shut the door behind them before settling into the front passenger seat. Her youngest and most impressionable officer was most frequent driver. Two more officers rode in the jump-seats behind the driver. Not that they were aiming to have a fight, mind you. The driver had learned the trade at the hands of the Matriarch herself, and they never, _ever_ slowed down. Most often they drove through the night, reaching the Candy Kingdom in a scant twenty-four hours. Emeraude Mertens most often _worked_ much of the time. Using the limo's amplifier to boost her phone, she would keep in touch with the Cabinet or sometimes call ahead. And when she wasn't doing that, she was digging her way through paperwork, writing and rewriting laws.

Today was no different. No sooner had the van begun to roll, than the Matriarch was reaching into the satchel she carried. She'd been working lately on an unheard-of proposal. Democracy. Shockingly, the undisputed ruler of the Grey Forest was planning to dilute her own power and give the fools she so often railed against a voice in the way their home was run. It was another foreign idea, and the Law Keeper had a pretty good idea where the idea had come from.

Finn the Human. Finn, who could have held the forest in the palm of his hands, had given away the power he had over them and walked back into the wilds from whence he'd come. Voletta, who'd been abused and used much of her life, didn't understand. She didn't understand why her master did the things she did, but she was starting to come around to a startling belief system of her own. Emeraude was the great savior of the Wood Nymph race, and Voletta was willing to die to protect her.

The newly-built gate-castle came looming out of the darkness a scant hour after they'd set out. The grim no-man's land that marked the border of the forest, rose up to surround them with tall, petrified trees that were all but impervious to fire guarding the still-living trees and The Wall itself functioning as a bulwark against direct attack. The guards on duty shunted the small amounts of early-morning traffic aside to let them pass, and, minutes later, they were coming out into the miserable little 'pleasure district' that Auda and her friends had begun to build outside The Wall.

Early on, Voletta had questioned why it was that the Matriarch was so opposed to the Trade when their kind had practiced it for centuries. Now she found herself thinking the same things. She'd been a victim of one of those places. Why would anyone want to do that to themselves? Why should they build defenses for _this_ place? Why encourage these women to wreck their lives? "Boss," said the driver. "W-what's that?" Voletta glanced up from her ruminations to see the first of the soldiers marching in out of the darkness. "Stop," she shouted! "Back up!"

The driver immediately threw the van into reverse, rolling backwards into the gate. Drawn by that shocking action, Emeraude put down her papers and rushed forward to look out the windows, shouting, "what the fuck?" "Soldiers," shouted the Law Keeper! "Sound the alarm!" Rolling the window down, she shouted at the guards, screaming at them to seal the gates!" "Stand down," shouted the Matriarch. "Our people are still out there!" Sticking her face up to the window, she commanded the guards to hold their ground and keep the gate open." "H-how long," stammered the terrified guard? "Until you have no choice," replied Emeraude Mertens.

By now the first of the terrified women were streaming towards the gate. Some came naked, looking as if they'd been _occupied_. Others looked half-asleep. One woman came dragging what looked like two children. The soldiers were coming up fast, and they were starting to open fire with the weapons they had. "Forward," shouted Emeraude. "Voletta, with me. Polly, man the guns." In defiance of the Law Keeper's demands, the driver went slowly rumbling forward. Polly popped open the top-hatch, raising the limo's twin guns into position. The Matriarch herself rolled open the right-side door, shouting for Voletta to do the same on her side.

The mercenaries had come in out of the eastern wastes in droves, summoned by Bathilde's agents and paid in gold by Wildberry Princess. It was a strange irony for the sour berry. She'd confiscated the massive fortune that Finn the Human and his idiot brother had brought to her kingdom. Whether by taxation or outright seizure, she'd ended up with all of it. That massive fortune, stolen from hundreds of tombs and dozens of lost and forgotten kingdoms, had financed the growth of her Kingdom, rolling back the wastelands and ushering in a golden age for her people. Now it was financing the murder of one of the people Finn the Human held most dear in all the world.

Sitting on a horse on a hill overlooking the army, as it poured out of the grasslands and rushed up to the forest, the sour berry thought about what she was going to do to nasty Huntress Wizard, who was guilty of multiple murders in her kingdom. The little bitch had been untouchable in Bonnie's kingdom. Bonnie had appointed the bitch Court Wizard, as if she had any need for such a thing. Finn had prevailed upon all the other bitches to 'recognize her' for her work in defeating the aliens. As if that somehow undid all the murders and killings she'd done over the decades of her life as a mob enforcer. _But it's comeuppance time_ , thought the sour berry. The nasty bitch had gotten her death-sentence delayed, but Wildberry fully intended to carry it out tonight.

Down below the hill, the death-machine raced headlong into the mercenaries, guns blazing. Hanging out the door, Emeraude slung hexes, blasting men asunder and bowling them over by the dozen. The driver didn't hesitate to run over anybody who got in the way. As Wildberry watched in shock, the irritatingly familiar truck routed an entire wing of the army, sending the mercenaries reeling back in shock. "W-what the fuck," she snarled?! "When did that bitch get here?!"

Sugarlump muttered, "she's in the Candy Kingdom with the rest. Must've lent that thing to nymph-bitch." Raising a fist, she motioned for the Heavy Legion to move into action. They'd been saving these troops. Now they had a reason to use them a little early. Toting dart-rifles and even a cannon that had gotten abandoned in Yolanda's kingdom, the Heavy Legion rushed forward and began trading fire with the Mafia Princess's former conveyance.

Hundreds of miles away in the Candy Kingdom, Drew Mertens stood in the nurse's station looking over the last few preparations for the birth of her newest stepchildren. They'd been here four times already in the last few months, though Drew had only been able to _assist_ with Phoebe. They'd missed the birthing of the twins entirely since nobody really dared go to Hell for the event. It was crazy what their lives had become about. Babies. Watching them be born. Taking care of them. Protecting them.

They were constantly rushing around because of all the babies. The little tykes themselves had nearly a dozen mommies, and, like their older siblings before them, they often found themselves waking up in some far-off exotic place as the moms swapped and swapped again, doing their best to manage without the doting father. Finn, who did his best to be present for the births, as often as not was gone again, right under their very noses. He had told Drew what that was about. For want of someone else to confide in, he'd confided in her, telling her about his fears for their future and the ugly situation he found himself in. That situation was coming perilously close to breaking his heart, and it wasn't doing Drew any favors either.

They needed him. They all needed him. They needed the comfort of his words and his presence. They needed to hear him say that things were going to be ok. And he was gone. He had to stay away because there were ugly people in the world who wanted a weapon and wanted to use that weapon to abuse their neighbors. It helped not at all that there were some very real threats facing all of them even without him. Kim Khil Wan and his friends had dispossessed Lollipop of her share of the fashion boutiques she'd started and very nearly managed to take her home. Cherry was soldiering on in the face of losing her bodyguard to the strange woman who'd decided to come back from the dead to torment them.

Bonnie had gone from childish anger at being thwarted in her desire to be liberated from her place as ruler of the Candy Kingdom to a very real angst and despair at losing the time with Finn. Her bad decisions had, once again, taken away her real happiness, a lesson it seemed sometimes that she would _never_ learn. Simone was dealing with fucking Ingrid and her increasingly shrill demands regarding the whereabouts of Finn. She was by turns cajoling and demanding, suggesting on one occasion that she was 'one of them', which had nearly all of them seeing red. And Drew? She was torn between a very real worry about the ugly things that their husband was seeing and the very real hunger for the companionship she'd missed across most of her own life.

He was still doing all he could to be a faithful husband. Recordings of him reading bedtime stories or singing lullabies would mysteriously appear, and somehow gifts appeared on each and every anniversary. He was there right by Cherry and Lollipop's side as Drew brought their babies into the world. He'd held Bonnie's hand as Rosie was born. He'd even taken a trip to the Night-O-Sphere for the birth of the twins. And when he couldn't help, they supported each other–Cherry helping Lollipop and Nadia supporting Bonnie. Now the whole family was gathered for the birth of Ranna and Tatiana.

As she stood pondering the chart for the hundredth time, a tall figure came striding up the hall, dressed from head to foot in an all-enveloping black cloak. People stopped and stared at the figure as he came silently forward, and several people cleared out of his way out of fear. The intimidating figure was almost on the beautiful doctor before she realized he was there. Startled, the former Dr. Princess struck a fighting stance. The figure grabbed her by her wrist and jerked her towards him, enfolding her in his arms as he did so.

Drew wept as she felt the familiar touch of her husband. "We thought you wouldn't make it...," howled the lovely doctor! Finn held her tight as he whispered soothing words. She felt angry all over again as she thought of Bonnie's stupid scheme and Nadia, Emeraude, and Phoebe's irresponsible votes. "Van's been asking about you," she sniffed. She felt him flinch. Stepping back and composing herself, she said, "let's get you scrubbed up." Taking his hand, she led him down the hall towards the operating room.

On the way, they passed the prep room, where the whole family was gathered around Nadia and Betty. Finn immediately turned and darted inside. Behind him, Drew observed, "look what the cat dragged in..." "Daddy," howled Star, as she rushed him. Fionna was next only because she was further away. Both young women laughed and practically blubbered on him. "I missed you guys too," Finn sighed. Betty could _feel_ the angst from across the room. She'd been worried about what this _exile_ was doing to him, and it appeared to be a lot like she feared. He'd said it. A man lived his life for his wife and kids. He was their bulwark. And Finn was failing in that.

Indeed, as he scanned the scene and noticed two missing faces, Betty knew immediately what he was thinking. Fortunately Simone was on the case. Stroking his face, she said, "Phoebe and Emeraude are running late... Business. You understand?" She was very smooth, making him feel like he was being silly when Talia had told them just what was on his mind. He was terrified that his nightmare scenario was coming true. People were out to harm the people he cared most for. The sad fact was, he was right, and every woman in that room knew it.

Fionna, bubbly and irrepressible as always, immediately did her best to catch her father up on goings on with Star interjecting choice bits. A distracted Finn went around the room, offering hugs to all the women there. When he got to Betty and Nadia, he had to be a little careful as both had tubes stuck in them and monitoring gadgets stuck on them. As he hugged the Grid-Face Princess, Fionna giggled, "boy I bet Tania's going to have huge, freakin' knobs!" As Finn straightened, Nadia flushed to her hair at the suggestion and babbled something unconvincing about recombinant DNA.

Patrick went Fi one better, blurting out, "not like Mona." Every face there snapped over to his. Flushing, he babbled something lame to cover for that outburst. Fionna howled laughter. "Yeah," she chuckled. "I bet she will. She got a double dose! Your side of the family and mine too!" Now it was time for Simone and Betty to blush. Which of course only made Fionna laugh harder. She was laughing right up until the cramp doubled her over.

Patrick was across the room in the space of a breath. "Guess Mona wants to come out too," hissed the bad bunny. Everybody in the room knew exactly what that meant. Drew snatched up the remote from Betty's table and summoned the nurse. In short order, Fionna got bundled onto a gurney, plugged into a monitor, and stuck with a couple of IVs of her own. Patrick, who'd been rather stand-offish this whole time, was right there at her side, holding her hand. At least he was until Drew summoned both men to get washed up. While Fionna would be a good bit longer, it was time for Betty and Nadia to go.

Back in the Grey Forest, Emeraude watched a stream of women and even a few men rushing towards the one open gate, as she and her bodyguards did their level best to hold off the army that was trying to reach them. It was her nightmare scenario–the thing that she and Finn had both been against since the moment Baba Yaga finished weaving her spell. Anybody outside the walls was a potential hostage–a _bargaining chip_ –to be used against the Matriarch to sue for some demand. Auda had over two-hundred fools who'd been in on this mad scheme to bring in money the hard way.

Back and forth the armored limo raced, as the wizards aboard laid into the neat ranks of the mercenaries. Fortunately, they were just the least bit cowardly. They didn't press the advantage they had, in spite of their leaders shouting and cursing at them. Still, the Matriarch didn't have it all her own way. Polly got shot, and one of the other guards replaced her. The van itself absorbed a beating, and the mercenaries forced them back and back and then back again. Fortunately, the further back they went, the closer to the walls they got. The only downside was that they gave up much of the long, sprawling hotel and its contents. As the van maneuvered once more to place Voletta's side towards the enemy, Emeraude saw dozens of men streaming inside. _Glob, let them be out of there,_ she thought. The thought of losing more precious lives sickened her.

Then, just as quickly as the thought had come up, it suddenly became the least of her problems. The mercenaries finally got the range down to where they could score good hits, and they shot out both tires on Voletta's side. It was all the driver could do to keep from rolling the thing. As it was, they were stopped in short order. Slamming the door shut on that side, the nymphs went bailing out the passenger side, sheltering there as the enemy continued to pound the half-wrecked limo. They were in a bad spot. _They'll have that cannon on us fast,_ thought the Matriarch. She needed to get them out of here.

Far to the south in Warrior Kingdom, the Moon stepped out of an ornate coach before the Red Towers–the most fashionable restaurant in all of the Warrior Kingdom. Ever heedful of the burning touch of the sun, the green-skinned goddess came sauntering up the walk in a natty blue-black dress in semi-transparent silk that left little of her to the imagination, even as a brace of burly Ring Guards rushed along at her side carrying heavy parasols to protect her. Stepping into the beautiful old restaurant, Candace Gulbrand looked around her. Her father couldn't afford this. As much as she and her mother had _fantasized_ about coming in here one day, her father couldn't afford the breakfast he'd offered to buy, much less anything else. It was just like Constance had said. Someone _big_ wanted something.

Dismissing her two bodyguards, the vampire strode forward, announcing, "I'm Candace Gulbrand. I'm..." "Your father is right this way, miss," said the maitre'd. It said something about the wealth and opulence of this place that he didn't bother with menus. Likely he knew every item on the menu by rote. Heels click-clacking on the expensive marble tiles, the Moon fell in at his back. The few wealthy who were here this time of the morning stared at the beautiful young woman, watching as her swaying hips took her across the room to the hall on the far side.

Her father was alone when she entered the private dining salon, and he'd dimmed the lights down. She could see the men who waited, just out of sight, in the next room. She could smell their sweet, tasty blood, and she could hear their terrified hearts beating like drums. The Moon gave no sign of that as she smoothed her skirts and sat down in proper, lady-like fashion before her stuffy, overbearing father. Fisk Gulbrand greeted his only child with, "well met, Candace." "Father," the Moon replied.

When she had sat herself, the waiter offered her steak, red and bloody. "A glass of red is fine," replied the vampire. Frowning, her father murmured, "I had thought..." "I don't drink it," said Candy, evenly. "I consume the red color. Watch..." Taking the napkin from her plate, she put a corner to her lips and drained it of all color, leaving a bone-white cloth that she tossed aside as if it was used. Her eyes, glowed briefly, like shimmering pearls. It was an uncanny display that made him nervous, though not nearly as nervous as he likely would have been if he knew that her eyes were looking right through his skin at the red blood flowing in his veins and the cowardly heart that pumped it.

Moving on, the older man began with small talk. Constance had expected as much. That was what men and women did with the estranged children they hoped to obtain a boon from. Pretend that you _hadn't_ tossed them on the street. Pretend that you attended the wedding. Pretend that you doted on your darling grandson. In short, lie and pretend and _pray_ you didn't get called on it. Candace was bored, sleepy, and a little irritated that this man would try to manipulate her very-residual patriotism this way.

Her claret was brought, and she slowly drained it of its signature color as the man talked about how anxious he was to know his grandson was alright. The same grandson he'd labeled 'bastard' a year ago. In the end, the slim woman got tired of the bullshit and called him on it. She wanted to go home and sleep. Scowling, the young woman demanded, "what do you need, father?" The older man flinched at the abrupt way she said that, but he did finally get to the point, announcing, "the kingdoms of Ooo are going to war, Candace. Our Clan is going to war..." Twirling a lock of her hair between her fingers, the Moon replied, "and what is that to me?"

That cold response stopped him for a minute, but only a minute. When he had a new angle in mind, he opened his mouth to try again. Before he could say another word, the Moon coldly told him, "I'm not going to fight in your stupid war, Fisk Gulbrand. Firstly, I swore a binding oath to the King of Vampires. Secondly, I have no use for your pathetic macho display. Your war is _stupid_." As she rose to go, he called after, "Candy... Let's talk this out..." For a moment, her face blazed with an unnatural silvery light. "Candy died when you put her on the street," snarled the vampire. "I am the Moon." The old man found himself paralyzed–he and all the men gathered in the surrounding rooms. The deadly fiend extended a hand and carved a bloody sigil in his cheek with one iron-hard claw. With no further word, she stormed out, anxious to make the train for home. Hopefully her mother would make it too. The nightlife here sucked since Princess Ingrid's return from the grave.

Back in the Grey Forest, Emeraude and Voletta did their best to keep the mercenaries at bay. It was fifty yards to the still-open gates–an endless distance while under fire. Ear-splitting bangs announced the cannon was getting closer. A part of the Matriarch wanted to declare this whole thing over. She'd done her best. She had saved her people. The wall would protect them. A part of her wanted to fight on, but she didn't know what to do now. They would be cut down by the mercs if they ran. If they stayed, the cannon would finish them.

"Mother," shouted Faye! The wizard looked up to find that the hotel was burning. Why was the hotel burning? Were these men that cold that they'd just burn up her people? And then she saw a strangely familiar figure scuttling across the open ground, dodging gunfire with a flaming torch in her hand and her big mook of a bodyguard at her back. Auda. What the fuck was she doing? Skidding to a stop–and looking simply outrageous in a skimpy tube top and see-through skirt, the madam tossed the brand aside, saying, "are you all ok?" Emeraude very nearly cussed her. This nitwit should be inside the gates! This whole thing had been about buying time.

"The flames are risin', boss," said the mook. "Smoke'll be here in a minute..." Emeraude saw then what her least favorite nitwit was doing. She'd set the building ablaze on purpose. A glance out showed the enemy bringing up more ammo for the cannon. The smoke from the fire was indeed drifting their way, but it wasn't drifting fast enough. "Voletta," called the Matriarch. "Yes, Mother," the Law Keeper replied. "Need wind, 'Letta," said the Matriarch. "Lots of it. Work with me." Eyes gone wide, the younger woman nodded. That would work. Turning to her recalcitrant 'ho, Emeraude said, "you two get Polly here to safety. We'll be right behind."

And then they began to fan those flames, calling on their powers to raise a strong wind from the north and west. As the mercenaries wheeled the ammo wagon to a stop next to their cannon, a thick, roiling black smoke obscured their target. "Run like hell," shouted the Matriarch. She and Voletta stayed back, dealing with the few mercs who were on the near side of the smoke screen. Hefting Polly–and very nearly carrying his boss by the scruff–Auda's bodyguard dashed across the intervening space and into the safety of the gates. Making a fighting withdrawal, Emeraude took her time in joining them. Step by frightening step, she made that journey, blasting the men who came pouring out of the burning hotel. She heard no screams, and she prayed that meant most of the nymphs had gotten away. Finally, just as they were losing their control over the wind, she and her Law Keeper made the safety of the gates.

As the gates boomed shut on the ravening mercenary army, Emeraude turned to Auda and shouted, "how many?! How many did we lose?" "Three," replied the madam. "They were with customers and couldn't get away, I'm afraid. Probably missed the alarms." Emeraude insisted on a head-count, but the bored madam replied, "already did that. Three times now. Everybody's here. You don't think I didn't expect this?" The Matriarch stared at her. With a shrug, the madam opined, "this isn't the first a bunch of boors have wrecked my party, Matriarch Emeraude. We fully expected _somebody_ to try it, though not quite this soon." One of the women groused, "we barely made enough to pay for the hotel, and now it's gone! We're back where we started!" Voletta goggled at her, and the incredulous Matriarch stammered, "y-you mean that rattletrap was _paid for_?!" After cussing the loud-mouth, Auda shrugged, "yes. We're not stupid. I've been doing this for ninety-seven years."

Turning back to the gates, the Matriarch rumbled, "a hotel can be rebuilt. Lives can't. We'll be better prepared next time." It was Auda's turn for shock. "You bargained in good faith, Auda," said the Matriarch. "I failed you. It won't happen again. Your hotel will be rebuilt. We will make you whole. And whoever was responsible for this... They're going to _suffer_." She had connections and friends in some very low places. Right now, she had a phone call to make.

Up on the hill, Wildberry turned her petulant face on her partner and patron. "Don't look at me, dearie," burbled the witch. "The forest is petrified for half-a-mile, and those thorns are so full of that nasty toxic sap, even an elemental would have trouble burning them. The only way to deal with the forest is from the air..." When the berry-woman went to open her mouth, Maja said, "I'm not going to waste an advantage on a bunch of _whores_ , you stupid git..." She hadn't really wanted to be bothered with these creatures anyway. She'd wanted to move on to more important matters. And one of those matters was still missing. Turning to the gangster, the witch demanded, "where is he? You promised goody-two-shoes to me. Where is he?!"

Primly, Sugarlump replied, "you don't think I've been trying? I want that fucker too, remember? He killed my daddy. I got dudes from Oceanside all the way east to Lizard Kingdom scouring the land lookin' for him. He moves. He moves a lot..." "That won't do," muttered the witch. "That won't do at all. He's a threat to our plans. We need to draw him out." "Ain't got to," laughed Sugarlump. "His pecker's already done that. He got almost all those bitches up the coochie. Two of 'em are due to pop any day now. I got dudes in the Candy Kingdom who're gonna' drop in... He'll be there. I'm sure of it."

The man they spoke of was even now in the surgery with two of the madwomen in his life. Just as he'd always done, he was there to hold their hands and coach them through the perilous and unpleasant business of childbirth, while the rest of the family watched from outside. Of course, today one of those watchers was herself due to give birth, and her husband was at her side doing his best to be a man in spite of all the anger and angst that was tugging at him.

The business of bringing three babies into the world didn't go quick. The three women struggled and strained mightily as the hours went by. Betty, who was hardly a spring chicken, needed help the most, though even with her technology, Nadia fought hard. Fionna, in spite of coming a little late to the party, ended up finishing first. Finally, in the early morning hours, Finn found himself cradling three beautiful little girls. His expression, for just a moment, was the same sort of childish wonder Drew remembered from the first time she'd met him. Holding the babies in his powerful arms and crooning at them, he looked almost _giddy_ , and it seemed to Drew that no matter how many times he was blessed to be given a child, he was delighted.

Of course, the babies had to go to post-natal and their moms had to go to recovery. Finn and Patrick both got kicked out as their wives were taken away to start the healing process. The two men found themselves standing outside with the rest of the family. As his ladies gathered around, Finn told his son-in-law, "your life won't ever be the same, Pat. It can't be. No matter what happens with Fi, Mona's forever a piece of you." Grimly Patrick Petrikov nodded, as he wondered how his dad had coped with this. A voice in his mind whispered soft reminders, pointing out, _it's never easier, Patrick. Soldiers in my day had a saying. The last easy day was yesterday, and it's just as true for a father as it was for them._ Patrick turned to his pops-in-law and said, "we're gonna' be ok." And, for a wonder, he believed it himself.

Simone's face was grim as she made her way through the gathering. She had rough news to share with her husband. Finn's face–which had developed an uncomfortably serious mien the last few years–was open and happy. For the moment, he was the man they had all fallen in love with. As Simone went to open her mouth–and spoil the moment–a voice from down the hall announced, "am I too late? Is it over?" It was Phoebe. The group turned to face the Flame King as she came strolling up the hall, and Simone's mouth dropped open. It was _Bonnie_ who spoke first, as she shouted, " _Phoebe_! I gave you a diaphragm!" Blushing to her hair, the elemental woman burbled, "I guess I kind of forgot to use it." Finn's jaw hung as he stared at her. She'd just gotten _un_ pregnant. They'd only done it _once_! "Well," she burbled, "we had that pretty name for a girl, and I guess we can use it now..."

Simone interrupted the unpleasant conversation by dragging Finn aside. "Emeraude called," she told him. Finn could tell from her voice that something was wrong. "Someone's attacked the forest," Simone said with a heavy-hearted sigh. At his alarmed look, she gave him a smile and said, "the walls you got for them saved the day, Finn. Only three lives lost." Which was three too many, but he was glad that nothing worse had come." "They know who it was," he asked? "No," said Simone. "Large number of mercenaries. That's all she knows." Cherry's voice announced, "there shouldn't be that many free mercs left. A lot of the free-lancers died on the island fighting over _you_." Simone flushed in unpleasant memory. Still, she stood aside to let her frenemy into the conversation.

"She's lost the limo, I'm afraid," said Simone. "I don't give a damn for that," said Cherry. "I can buy her another one. What's their status? Are the mercs still there?" "No," said Simone. "They moved off not long after darkness fell." "Could be laying for them," said Finn. "Waiting for them to open the gates again." Adding herself to the discussion, Bonnie said, "I can send a detachment of the Banana Guard..." Finn shook his head. "No," he said. "They may even want that." Frowning, Cherry asked, "what're you thinking?" "He's thinking that there's more to this than yet another pussy-raid," rumbled Sarah. Turning to her creator, she said, "I'm taking your ship. I can look for this army from the air and retrieve the Matriarch without fear of opening the gates." She didn't wait for Bonnie to say a word, merely turned and headed down the hallway towards the door.

Finn sighed, "I have to go..." Simone knew what he was thinking. This was about _him_. They were in danger as long as he was here. When she would have spoken, Cherry tugged on her hand, stopping her. She was about to engage in womanly wishful thinking. With the danger of misuse of the robot army, he was absolutely right. Tears streaming down, the three women hugged him. Without a further word, Finn slipped down the hall to the stairs. He was gone in the blink of an eye–so fast that it was fifteen minutes before the rest of the family realized he was gone.

A distraught Finn the Human walked into Riley's Club looking like he'd lost his best friend. He had sort of been leaning on the former lycanthrope the last few months, using her bar to hide when he was in town and having her act as his eyes and ears. Now he feared maybe that was a little too dangerous. His enemies were closing in and starting to move against him and his family. It was time he looked at disappearing for a while. There was a lot of empty space in Talia's lands, and nobody would be hassling Baba Yaga to find out where he was.

As he stepped into the bar, his mind immediately picked up signs that something was wrong. For one, there was no music playing. For another, none of the girls was on stage. His eyes quickly took in the scene, finding Pearl, Tallulah, Nickie, and Velvet stuffed into a booth, while a thug held them at gunpoint. A second thug held Teri at knifepoint behind the bar. A thoroughly beaten TV sat moaning on the floor. Riley's hired Banana-Guard lay on the floor in the corner, a puddle of blood showing he wasn't doing so well. As his mind processed that–and the terror on his niece-in-law's face, Finn heard the door shut behind him. A familiar voice called out, "hey, Finn. Been a while."

"Kim," Finn replied. "Thought you'd moved on." "Yeah," she said. "Tried. Never was good at holding onto money." The big man grimaced. "Why don't you walk over to the bar," Kim suggested? The big man started walking. Behind him, he could hear the sound of her heels on the floor, and he remembered. He remembered saving her and her fellow bounty-hunters from Magic Man a lifetime ago. They'd supposedly sworn off running down lives for money, but it seemed like old habits were hard to break. "Where's Trudy," Finn asked?

"Ovah he'ah, sugah," replied the elemental. Finn glanced over to the doorway to the private rooms to find the water-elemental there. She had her hand over Riley's head. "She can breathe, sugah," said the elemental. "F'er now." "So how much are they paying you," he asked? "Enough," replied Kim. "One last score to take me through retirement." The former lycanthrope's terror was palpable as Finn's eyes locked with hers. He'd brought this to her place. He'd have to go and never come back. "Sorry," he told her. "Touching," said Kim. "You're still a softy." "You comin' quietly, sugah," asked Trudy? "Can't, Trudy," he replied. Frowning–she'd been squeamish about murder before–the elemental said, "don't got t'be nasty, kid. Jist come along quiet-like."

Kim said, "take off the sword for starters..." Finn did just as he was told. The longer he stalled them, the better off he was. He needed to know how many more were here. "On the ground, soldier-man," said the assassin. Finn dropped it at his feet. "Step away from it," said Kim in reasonable tones. "Just have a seat... In that booth on your right." The big man did just as she said. Pearl shouted, "no, Captain Finn! No! Don't do it! They're going to kill us...!" Finn said, "nobody needs to be hurt, Pearl. It's just gonna' be me and them. When we're gone, you take TV and you get him to the hospital, ok?"

When he'd sat himself, he took a good, long look at Kim, and said, "not bad for pushin' sixty." She smirked at him. "Somebody learned about girls," she replied. Nodding at the women in the booth, she added, "they help you out?" She didn't wait for the answer. Drawing a capsule, she pushed it into the strange weapon on the end of her arm, and the liquid inside turned a strange, neon blue. "You're wanted alive, hero," she said. "This won't hurt but a little..." "Yeah, man," he said. "Dr. P lies like that all the time."

From the door, another voice opined, "what a wretched place you've found, Finn the Human..." The big man grimaced. This was about the absolute _last_ thing he needed. As Kim spun to face the threat, his eyes found Ingrid coming through the door, with a very familiar face. "Star's mad at you, bud," he told Thor. The giant flushed to his hair. "Never get a girl mad at you, man," he said. "Just ain't worth it." The thugs tensed momentarily. Bad men didn't really like surprises. Especially when they were caught doing bad things. "What's going on here," demanded the Princess? "Dealing with the mess you created," Finn replied. "This is Kim and her half-time fuck-buddy, half-time frenemy, Trudy. They're here to drag me off somewhere for control of the war-machine." Both assassins flinched at that damning assessment of their relationship.

Calmly, the big man said, "nobody has to be hurt here. All of you can go. We'll leave Riley's place, leave her and her girls alone, and go outside of town to work through this..." Kim laughed. "You never changed," she chuckled. Finn shrugged. He was what he was. Grinning, she said, "well, you don't have super-speed without the sword." She hefted the fabled Finn-Sword. Finn chuckled. Yeah, a lot of people had heard that story. He had believed it himself until the Grass Mage told him the truth. Ingrid said, "how dare you threatened the elected Warlord of Ooo?! This man is under my protection!" The mercs howled laughter, and Finn had a chuckle or two himself. Shrugging off her cloak and laying a hand on her blade, the Warrior Princess hurled curses at Kim. "What did you call me," growled the assassin? "Called you a cunt," replied Finn. Which was the one thing you _never_ called Kim.

The fight was on just like that. Thor leaped the bar and went toe-to-toe with the thug behind it. Kim went straight at Ingrid, wielding both the Finn-Sword and the dangerous needle on her left arm. And Finn? He went straight for the man with the gun. The man didn't even know what hit him. One minute the mark was sitting in a booth. The next his fist was materializing inside the bandit's chest. "Sorry, guys," said Finn, as hot blood sprayed the four strippers.

In short order, Thor had dispatched the thug holding Teri, and that left Kim fighting both Ingrid and her new flunky. She was good, but she was getting on in years. They drove her back and back. Now Trudy, who Finn well knew had always truly loved Kim, began pleading with him. "Stop 'em," she wailed! "Stop 'em right now, Finn! They're gonna' kill Kim! You gotta' stop 'em, sugah!" Striding up to her, he said, "let Riley go." "No," she said. In her panic, she was losing control of her body, and water from her closed fist was starting to enter Riley's nose and mouth. His friend was in danger of drowning. "I'm going to say this again," Finn said. "I don't want to hurt you, but you know I will." She well knew it. Her eyes went to Kim, though, who shouted for her not to back down. That was one of the reasons for their endless fights. When it came down to it, Trudy was a coward.

Doubling down, the elemental began to pour water into the ex-hug-wolf's mouth and nose. That was when Finn had to act. "I'm sorry, Trudy," he said. One moment, she was standing there with his hand on her wrist. The next moment, the room was full of a fine mist, and Trudy was gone. " _Trudy_ ," howled Kim! Taking advantage of the distraction, Ingrid drove her blade through Kim's back and through her heart. "Fuck," gasped the assassin, as she slumped to the floor. Teri would have run to Finn's side, but Thor caught her by the scruff and stopped her. She wasn't going to help in that state of mind. Kneeling on the floor, Finn began chest compressions. After a terrifying minute, Riley finally coughed up a few bits of Trudy that she'd breathed in.

Now, Thor let Teri go, and the wood nymph raced over, throwing herself on her friend and benefactor as Finn stood up to deal with the rest of the mess. Striding up to Ingrid, he took Kim's face in his hand, finding she was already gone–to Theo's quarry or to Hunson's place, he wasn't sure. "I'm sorry," he said. "Why are you apologizing to that rancid sack of meat," snarled Ingrid?! "You should be apologizing to _me_! You have ignored my summons! You've refused contact! You..." Finn cut her off with a wave. "H-how dare...," she stammered? Gathering himself to his feet, he said, "I need passage out of here to the grasslands." He wasn't anywhere near polite. Sliding his sword into his sheathe he said, "we'll leave in five minutes. Right now, my nephew needs medical attention. Teri? Do you have a phone?" "They took ours," she whimpered. "Broke them..." Finn tossed her his _official_ phone, saying, "call it in..." He still had the off-the-books phone Star had gotten him.

Coming back across the room, he offered Pearl a hug, saying, "TV's a tough kid. He's gonna' be ok. Take care of him while he's laid up, ok?" When he straightened, Riley was on her feet. "I guess this'll be goodbye," she said. Finn hugged her, apologizing for what he'd brought to her place. "I'd do it again," she said. "I wouldn't have this or anything else if not for you. I'd still be running around in my birthday suit covered in fur and howling at the moon..." When he let go, she grabbed his face and planted a searing kiss on his lips. "Always wanted that," she sighed. Blushing, he gave her a crooked smile. "Bye," he said.

Cranky, Ingrid was ready to shout at him, when they stepped out on the street. His eyes scanned the scene, looking for a horse-drawn carriage. "It stood out," she muttered. "He made me come in that... _thing_." She was pointing at a rickety sedan that hardly looked the part of something a princess rode in. "Yours," he asked? Thor flushed. "Star doesn't care, man," he said. "She really doesn't. You think we're rich?" Shaking his head, he strode towards the car. The banana guard would be here soon. As she climbed into the rear passenger seat, Ingrid growled, "who _was_ that purple-skinned hussy, anyway?!"

 **And so Finn's trial truly begins. For those following along from the beginning, Bonnie and most of her neighbors 'colonized' the grasslands during the 'jump' when the kids were growing up (Bonnie's Revelation). Finn's home is now surrounded by PB's candy-citizens, and most places in the grasslands belong to one of the princesses on the council. Looks like the trials and tribulations that Marcy put him through in Evicted were just a warmup.**


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20:

The strange humanoid turned and twisted before the mirror, examining herself again and again. She'd been doing that for fifteen minutes now and both Wildberry and Maja were becoming irritated. There was work to be done. Wildberry was feeling a little bit of pressure now, having squandered hundreds of soldiers on a failed attack against the Grey Forest. She'd sold the idea as sort of a trial run. They'd run in, smash Huntress Wizard, and make a tidy profit on selling off the rest of those worthless bitches. That would have let them hire a few thousand more goons. Instead, they'd found defenses and an entrenched enemy, and the whole thing had gone massively off the rails. News that Sugarlump's hired killers had found Finn and failed to secure him–and that maybe Warrior Princess had been involved–just about made the witch's blood boil over.

So here they were.

There was another possibility for an army. Wildberry had held the key in a high-tower of her castle for several years now. After one attempted-coup too many, Blargetha the Slime-Princess, had finally worn out her welcome in her homeland and gotten exiled to the Wildberry Kingdom. Wildberry had promptly had her snatched off the streets and locked up in the tower as a future bargaining chip against whoever might end up in charge in Slime Kingdom, since Hurletta couldn't seem to be bothered getting married and having an heir. She'd kept Blargetha in a gilded cage all this time, even letting her out occasionally to have a good time in the social circles of the city. Now she was cashing in the chip a little earlier than planned because Blargetha had once raised an army in her homeland. Wildberry had seen pictures of it.

The younger of the two Slime Princesses had built a fantastic war-machine of her own out of the hardened muck of her homeland. She'd done it on the sly over the course of several years. Honestly, Wildberry was a little afraid of the cunt because she was a freakin' certifiable genius, even if she wasn't Bonnibel's caliber. Still, the fact remained; Blargetha had no love of Bonnie Bubblegum or any of her friends. She was a potential ally, and Wildberry knew the army she'd crafted still sat in the bowels of Slime Kingdom because Hurletta had been much too busy partying to dispose of it.

"Yes, yes, dearie," opined Maja the Sky Witch. "We're certainly the new hotness. Now howsabout we work on getting that army..." A reluctant Blargetha turned from the mirror, gathered up the humanoid raiment prepared for her, and headed behind the changing screen. "It's still there," she said. "I sometimes sneaked down past the guards to look at it. "Letta kept talking about getting rid of it, but it sometimes seemed like she kept hoping I'd change my mind and do it for her." The idiot. "Need pilots though," said the slime-woman. The rustle of cloth suggested she was pulling on the garment Wildberry had ordered made for her new form.

The pilot problem had been the hole that kept Blargetha from executing her plans. Her people weren't warriors and never had been. She'd been handicapped from the start and really unable to capitalize on her own skill with science to increase her power. Fortunately, Maja had a solution for that. They just had to get to the Slime Kingdom. Coming out from behind the screen, Blargetha asked, "what do you think?" "You look fine," growled Maja, as she grabbed the slime woman by the arm and started out. In short order, the younger woman found herself getting dragged down towards the stables. They had business waiting on them in Blargetha's homeland.

Elsewhere, the Moon threw back the covers and climbed out of bed, awaking from a brief nap after a long night of partying. Life as a vampire was everything she'd hoped it would be. An eternity of fun where she got to stay up until all hours of the night. No more babysitting somebody's brat to make a little spending money. No more school. No more books. No more teacher's dirty looks. She was free to do whatever she wanted, and life couldn't be better. On top of that, she had as her hubby the man every teen girl–and even a couple of boys–in her school had wanted. Marshall Lee, the Vampire King, was her mate, and they even had a baby boy to prove they'd been gettin' busy. Her friends were so jealous, they could well have died of envy.

Yawning and stretching, she headed for the 'breakfast table' in the parlor to find her mother already sitting there. Davina Abadeer hadn't made the train back with her, and she'd ridden home alone. Now she was back, and Candy wanted to find out just how her meeting with her own father had gone. Bardolf Ulfberht was a miserable old cuss who had been abusive to Candy from the first. He didn't really like children, and especially little girls. Candy's grandfather had gleefully chucked his daughter, granddaughters, and great-grandson out of his home and told his wife that she could join them if she protested too much. Then, suddenly, he'd decided that he wanted to see them after all. Candy, having been summoned by her own parents, now knew exactly why the old fucker wanted to see them.

They had power.

His daughter had power that he lacked. In the grand scheme of things, they were nobodies in their clan, and they would always _be_ nobodies. Unless, of course, they suddenly developed some sort of infernal power that could be used by the leaders of the Clan in support of their ruler's habitual wars and petty conflicts. An edge like that could catapult them to the heights of power and get them out of their ugly, boring, and unfashionable condos on the edge of town and maybe into a fashionable estate in the country.

"Mom," Candy greeted her mother. Davina yawned and smiled back, looking strangely happy. They had been having a little trouble with that. Davina wasn't adjusting to life as a vampire as well as Candy and Constance had. Davina, quite frankly, had outgrown the late nights partying and raising hell in the streets. She'd _fantasized_ about it. That was one of the things that had caused her to end up in bed with Marshall Lee.

She'd gotten bored of life as a housewife, cooking and cleaning and chasing after her daughter, and the idea of seducing a much-younger man and having a fling had excited her. And then, much like a wayward pet chasing a conveyance down the street, she'd gotten her teeth locked around the carriage wheel and found herself asking the dangerous question: 'now what?' Davina was boredom incarnate, and she didn't really relish the parties the way Constance and Candace did. So why was she so happy now?

"How was your father," Davina asked? Candy shrugged. She didn't really want to talk about that cocksucker. She hoped he enjoyed the scar. She was proscribed from teaching him a _real_ lesson–Marshall Lee had made it clear what the penalty would be for abusing his gift–but dispensing a little pain was par for the course. Candy thought he would have approved of her actions. They were neutral–gliding through the mortal world, but never a part of it. Connie had affirmed that by vowing to step aside in favor of her son when he became a man. And Candy thought it for the best. She didn't really enjoy work. She liked the parties too much.

"You seem in a good mood," opined the younger woman. "We worked some things out," said Davina. Candy gave her a puzzled look. "He didn't ask for anything," she murmured? Her mother's face lit up just like it always did when she was caught doing something she shouldn't be doing. Frowning, Candy said, "you didn't give him anything..." It was somewhere between a question and a statement. Flushing to her hair, the older woman said, "a little bit. It's... If it'll help him and momma..." Candy face-palmed, " _mother_! We discussed this! We all discussed this! You can't have done that! You know what Marshall will do!" "Nothing like that, Candy," Davina protested! "I... I mean, glob. You don't think I'd fuck around with my own father or some random stranger..."

Which wasn't really the point. As far as Candy knew, Marshall had done things that way to ease the transition and not make it so traumatic. You didn't have to _fuck_ your fledgling vampire to turn him or her. "You'd better not have made a fledgling, momma," growled the younger woman! " _No_ , Candy," she protested. "Nothing like that." "Then what did you do," the Moon demanded? Her skin was growing ever brighter, and she was becoming more and more obviously agitated. It was something they were all working on. Anger was very dangerous for a vampire, especially a new one. As spawn of the Vampire King, they were especially vulnerable to it.

Flushing and glancing down at their table, Davina murmured, "well... I read about this thing... I... it's called a ghoul..." And she began to explain to her daughter how a vampire could create a form of undead that was substantially weaker than a vampire. Candy shot to her feet in shock. "Shhh," Davina shushed her! "I'm going to tell him, momma," the Moon muttered. "It was just one," said Davina. "I... I've got complete control over him. It's... It means so much to your grand-dad." "You mean the grand-dad that put us out of his house, momma," growled the younger woman?! The Moon began to pace in agitation, occasionally even pulling at her hair. Her mother was an idiot. From first to last, her mother had been an idiot. She'd forgiven this jackass for fucking her boyfriend behind her back, which was already shitty. Now she'd gone and done _this_! What the fuck were they going to do?! Marshall would have a fit!

"You've got to get that thing back," growled Candy. "I-I can't," said Davina. "Not right now. Daddy's going to be showing it to the Princess." It took all Candace Abadeer's will not to choke the shit out of her idiot mother. Not only had this fool handed over an undead monster to their idiot relatives, but those same idiots were going to be showing it off to a _Royal_?! There'd be no fucking hiding it then! Marshall was going to tear them both to pieces! _Unless you turn in your own mother,_ the Moon thought. And that was the rub, wasn't it?

A part of her–the part that was already gone and had already _become_ this ancient creature and merged consciousness with the essence of the Vampire King's consort–would have just walked into Marshall's study and dropped a dime on her own mother. The other half of her–the young woman who was still growing inside–couldn't imagine turning on her mother in that way. They were blood related. Davina had bore her and raised her. "We're going to go get that thing back, momma," growled Candy. "We're going to tell Marshy that we've got business back home... that grandma's sick or something. And we're going to get that fucking monster back. Clear?" Flushing to her hair, Davina nodded.

Meanwhile, Finn the Human came back to Thor's car to find the man himself sitting on the hood, while Ingrid snoozed inside. He'd gone off to use his secret phone to tell Simone what had happened and that he was ok, telling Ingrid and Thor he would be checking their tail for pursuers. Now he strode up to the man he'd been calling son-in-law and said, "what happened, man?" Thor glanced away. "Talk to me," said Finn. "Cherry says you're trying to make a name for yourself..." "You wouldn't understand," muttered the giant. Rolling his eyes, Finn retorted, "think I didn't worry over what I was bringin' to the table when I found myself with a pregnant girlfriend?" "You had a name," replied Thor. "I have nothing. Y-you could be King. You could rule Ooo." Shaking his head, Finn said, "the world doesn't want or need a King. It needs good men supporting families. You could be one of those, or you can continue down this road..." And that, to Finn, was that.

The noise had awakened Ingrid, who now got out of the car, looking irritated. "Your Highness," Finn greeted her. She put on a sour look and asked, "did you find anyone following?" Her tone suggested she didn't quite believe him. "No," he replied. "We're alone here." "You never answered my questions," she snapped. "Where have you been? Who were those women?" Calmly, Finn said, "you still don't understand. You don't really have a right to ask those questions. Not like that. You are not my wife. Not yet." Ingrid the Warrior Princess flinched as if he'd slapped her. Turning to Thor, he said, "take a walk. I need to talk to your boss. In private."

The former gangster knew better than to hang around. He got out of there like he'd been standing to close to the fire. Ingrid stared after him in shock. She'd never seen anyone with such a capacity for outright intimidation. Voice cold, the big man said, "you created a crisis the likes of which Ooo hasn't seen in centuries. Before, there were checks and balances on the use of the War-Machine. Now it sits in the hands of one man–one flawed and foolish man. If those flaws and desires weren't enough, there are literally dozens of people who want their hands on that man for the sake of controlling him and controlling the weapon he holds in his hand. You created a disastrous mess. One I now have to deal with. You've caused me to be exiled from my wives and children, and I don't know that I'll ever have the chance to see my sons and daughters again."

Boldly, she said, "I gave you the power to remake Ooo in the fashion that you desire. You don't have to wander. Come home with me. No-one has to know where you are until you're ready..." Finn turned a baleful stare on her. "You're a fool if you think that could ever work, Ingrid," he told her. "I've seen what happens when men and women think they're getting a short deal from their leader." Grabbing at her hair, she cussed him, but those words fell on deaf ears. His face remained unmoved, his eyes seeming to say that she'd overplayed her hand. "This is goodbye, Ingrid," he said. "Don't follow me. You wouldn't like the result." One moment he was there. The next he was gone. "The Curse," murmured Thor, as he walked back into the clearing.

His master glared at him, but Thor's eyes were focused on where his father-in-law had stood. He found himself thinking about those words and wondering. _Had_ he made a mistake? He really wondered. Unfortunately, what was he going to do about it now? He'd hitched his star. He couldn't simply walk away from the Princess's service. Not the way his family had done it.

Hundreds of miles away in the Grey Forest, Sarah Mertens carefully eased her creator's illicit spaceship in between stands of trees and deftly placed the landing gear between bushes. She'd spent hours the previous night searching for the bandit army that had sought to sack the Wood Nymph realm. She'd seen little sign of them. The army had disappeared–almost as though they had help. With what was going on in the world, it was an uncomfortable feeling. It looked very like her husband was right. There were forces moving out there that wanted the war-machine–or at the very least wanted its master to suffer.

Climbing down the spaceship's boarding ladder, she scanned the scene in IR, finding several soldiers gathered in the bushes waiting in ambush. "I'm not here to hurt anyone," she offered. "The army's gone. I've been searching for it half the night and all morning." Voletta's lieutenant stepped out from behind a large tree, staring at her. "Please take me to Emeraude," said Sarah, as she strode forward. "She should be expecting me."

In short order, the android-girl walked into the Matriarch's home to find the Matriarch's cabinet meeting. Voletta had the floor, and she was going over everything she was doing to prepare the forest for possible attack. They were in very good shape right now with the castles sealed up, but there were a couple of troubling places where the enemy still could get at them. The forest that lay to their north and east was one vulnerability, and they still didn't have the river defenses finished. A careful enemy could sail boats down one of the rivers and into the heart of the forest. Sarah sat herself in the outer room to wait on the end of the meeting.

While she waited, she thought of her missing husband and what he was facing. He'd hardly had any time with them at all. First the Dipped and now this was keeping him away. The Lich was gone, but the problems lingered. And she couldn't figure out any way out of this. She would have suggested _herself_ as the master of the war-machine. That would have let Finn off the hook and taken matters out of the realm of emotion. She was one of the few people in the world of Ooo with the dispassion to see this clearly. Unfortunately that same dispassion let her know and understand that the idea was dead on arrival.

Sarah Mertens had one severe handicap–one she had been tempted to ask that she be relieved of. She looked like Bonnie. She looked more like Bonnie now than she had before. Beyond the fact that her face brought emotional baggage, it drew attention to the fact that she was Bonnibel Bubblegum's creation. There was a loyalty there. It didn't override good sense, but there was a loyalty there, and Sarah knew it. The Royals would never accept her as the wielder of the war-machine. That was a non-starter. The disappointed sex-droid gave vent to a heavy-hearted sigh. Her life with Finn was further away than ever.

As she was pondering that, Marianne came out of the cabinet meeting to summon her. Sarah went in to find that Voletta was still at the map on the wall, but every face there was interested in what she had to say. It took a moment for her to realize that they had been expecting Bonnie. "No," said Sarah. "Not Bonnibel. She's back in her kingdom. I came on her behalf." "Sarah," burbled Emeraude. "Yeah," said the android-girl, as she approached the table. Moving on, the Matriarch asked the obvious. Where was the army? "Someone's hidden it," replied the android. "I followed the track for a while, but it stopped abruptly. Almost as if they were covered by some sort of cloaking device." Frowning, the wizard said, "sort of like the one the wizard's proposed for Ooo." Sarah frowned now. Why would a wizard be hiding an army? Why would one be doing something so foolish to a known ally of the Ice Queen?

"There are two classes of Magic-User in Ooo," sighed Voletta. "Wizards who've learned in the City or apprenticed to someone from there, and witches who..." "...are independent," muttered Sarah. "So we're dealing with a third party. Any ideas?" "No," sighed Emeraude. "We don't know anybody..." "Water-nymphs," growled Melusina. "It has to be. We have influence in Wizard City, and they don't." "And they don't _need_ influence," muttered Emeraude. "They have a kingdom of their own." Their confederation had been Emeraude's envy all her life. She had modeled much of what she was trying to do on the Water-Nymph Confederation. She didn't think it was them causing trouble, and she said so. She was pretty sure this was an independent.

The only independent that she knew of with that kind of power who was still roaming around was Talia. Maja the Sky Witch would have been a safe bet, but she was long dead. Finn had flattened her more than twenty years ago. "The Lady wouldn't have need to harm us," burbled Apolline. "She could just have withheld her help." Emeraude didn't think it was Talia either. She had nothing to gain.

The gathering would have descended into bickering, but Sarah interrupted the fight before it got started. "You still need those gates to block the river-courses. I suggest we get busy working on that." Emeraude frowned at her. Apolline howled, "we're broke! We're out of money! And Auda's... 'er... _industry_ is out of commission for the duration. We have no money to hire someone to build the gates." "But you have me," replied Sarah. "I have the knowledge. I have a spaceship to retrieve the materials, and I've got a strong back." Before the gathering could get to bickering again, the Matriarch sent them all away. She had a pretty good idea what this was about, but all the cabinet would think about was money and payments due.

When they'd gone, the Matriarch got up and approached the enigmatic creature. "I was supposed to just snatch you up," said Sarah, "but there's a bigger issue here." The wizard nodded. Standing before her sort-of rival, the wood-nymph asked, "what's going on?" "Finn's... he's gone," sighed the android. "Someone tried to snatch him not long after you called. He... he's been hiding out at that bar. Someone figured out that he might be there..." "And they were waiting on him," sighed Emeraude. She wanted to kill Warrior Princess. "We all do," chuckled Sarah. When the wizard frowned, she shrugged and said, "it's the same thing we've all been thinking. C'mon. Let's get this thing with the water-gates sorted out while we can." "Are you sure Bonnie won't mind you using that flying-saucer thing for us," asked the Matriarch? Sarah laughed, "probably, but this is important."

As she turned to go, the android-girl stopped, clutched at her head, and hissed in pain. "What," asked Emeraude? "Probably haven't been drinking enough water or something," said the machine-girl. "You drink water," asked the incredulous wizard? "Partly to sustain my organic compo... uh... the real-live flesh-and-blood pieces," the android explained. "Partly as a coolant for the mechanical pieces. I need it probably more than you do. I can get a drink at the river. C'mon." "You sure," said the wizard. "I'd... I'm..." "It'll be fine," said Sarah. "Let's go."

Late that evening, Hurletta, Princess of the Slime Kingdom came slithering into her quarters after a long day of work with her mind focused on the parties she was supposed to be going to tonight. She'd done the bare minimum. She'd managed to get through the minimum of work that was needed to keep the kingdom afloat. Honestly, she didn't know how Bonnie and Phoebe managed to be so _involved_ in their kingdoms when there was such little enjoyment to the job. The worst part of it all was that there was more waiting on her _tomorrow_. No matter how much of the pile she cleared out, the pile never seemed to get smaller. She never got to the end, not even for a little while. There were days she would gleefully have let Blargetha have it all, if that was what the bitch really wanted! Let Blargetha deal with all the crap. The only thing that really stopped her was the terror of her sister murdering her just to be sure she kept the throne.

Moving to the mirror, the little princess began to primp and prepare, and she was trying to figure out what to wear with her crown when she heard unfamiliar footsteps behind her. A glance in the mirror showed a humanoid figure, five feet tall, with pale, pink, rosy cheeks, reddish eyes, leafy green hair that suggested that maybe she was a nymph or something, and a curious stalk jutting out of the top of her head. At the tip of that stalk rested a strangely familiar object–a crown.

"Who're you," demanded Slime Princess, as she turned to face her strange visitor? "You don't recognize me," teased the stranger. Strutting around, showing off her sexy broad hips and shapely body, she circled the princess. The voice was strangely familiar, though the package was odd. Humanoids did come here to party and have fun, but Hurletta didn't invite them to her quarters–not the females, anyway. This creature was clearly female, with budding boobies in the humanoid mold jutting out under her deep red dress. "Nothing at all," asked the stranger? "Nope," retorted Slime Princess. "Should I know you?"

Nodding, the stranger replied, "yeah... You should... I'm the person you shouted down in Council." "W-w-wildberry," howled Slime Princess? "H-how's that possible?!" "Well, ya know," said the berry-person, "a girl's got to have her secrets..." "No," howled Slime Princess! "Y-you're hot! I have to know!" She wanted to have the secret too. Maybe Finn would pay attention to her! Slime Princess was _tired_ of being lonely. She and her sister had spent much of the last seventeen years sabotaging each other's romances, making sure neither ever got the upper hand. Even exiling Blargetha hadn't really helped, though.

"You won't have to worry about being lonely, big sis," announced a frighteningly familiar voice. Slime Princess slowly turned to find her sister standing there. And she too seemed to have partaken of Wildberry's _miracle_. She was tall and shapely in the human idiom with _legs_. And those legs ended in broad hips which trailed off to a narrow waist. Above that, a big pair of humanoid knockers jutted out from Blargetha's pale-green body. And above that, she had a long, slim neck ending in a beautiful heart-shaped face. Smiling archly, the beautiful younger sister said, "I have a surprise for you, big sister." She stepped aside, revealing the cruel visage of Maja the Sky Witch.

Cackling like a madwoman, Maja stroked the tatty-tee-shirt she wore, inhaling the raw emotions contained within. Focusing those emotions into her magic, she poured a blast of energy into the princess of the slime kingdom. Slime Princess screamed in agony as the energy cascaded through her, changing things, altering her body, and triggering a growth spurt that left her drained. The agony went on and on for long minutes as the slime-person howled and wailed. Just as the hapless female swooned, she found herself wondering where Finn the Human was. If ever there was a time a girl needed a rescue, this was it.

As Maja finished her weaving, the glow subsided, revealing a perfect form just like Blargetha's. Slime Princess lay on her side, unconscious from the strain of the transformation. "Does she live," asked Blargetha? She wanted her sister to suffer a little longer. "Oh, she'll be fine," chuckled Maja. Blargetha reached down and took the crown from the floor beside her sister's unconscious body. As she went to slip it on her head, Wildberry stopped her, reminding her, "the army. You promised us an army." "You'll have it," growled Blargetha. "Come on."

She went in the desk in the corner, rummaging around until she found the key to the catacombs. Hurletta had taken her key and destroyed it, making this the one and only key left. Now the berry woman and the witch followed their _host_ down into the bowels of the earth, deep down below the Slime Kingdom's Royal Hall. There down deep in the darkness, the princess stooped down in a crouch, fit the key into a lock, and let them into a vast open chamber.

Nobody knew what the chamber had once been. She'd found evidence of some ancient civilization that had lived down here in the darkness. Artifacts she'd found and bits of this and that suggested that these creatures may once have been her forefathers–ancestors of the slime-people. It hardly mattered, really. The thing that had mattered most to _her_ was the war-machine. She'd found the rusting hulk half-buried under layers of filth and _wondered_. Wonder had led her to read through the dusty tomes, teaching herself the forgotten language of the creatures who had dwelt here. And that had led her on many a late-night excursion to the palace library and beyond.

She'd _copied_ the war-machine. She'd copied it as best she could with the materials she'd had to work with. Finn's demon-sword had sliced right through the hardened muck she'd crafted her war-machines out of, so there was that, but she had some hope that they would be a little more impervious to the weapons her neighbors could come up with. Unfortunately, there had been two flies in the ointment. She'd copied her war-machines at the exact same scale as the original and found that there was no way her people would ever be able to man them. And, if that wasn't enough, her sister had gotten Finn the Human involved and shut the whole thing down.

Deftly Blargetha lit the tiny lantern from beside the door and carefully held it aloft, shining the dim light out on her prizes. "Are those," babbled Wildberry? "Two-hundred of them," replied the newly-minted princess of the Slime Kingdom. "War-machines in the ancient mold. And yes, they work. The muck down here never breaks down." Turning to face them, she said, "so. They're scaled for someone _our_ size, but we'd have trouble manning just one. What's your plan?" "You leave that piece to me, dearie," chuckled Maja. "We're going to need your sister, though. She isn't virgin by any chance?" Blargetha snorted, "as pure as the depths of the slime-lake..." Hurletta had about as much chance of getting laid as they had of flying to the moon.

Following Maja's orders, the younger slime-princess had the guards assemble as many of her people as could be gathered in the town square. Standing up on the balcony, looking down at them, the three conspirators considered what they were going to do. Blargetha had told them. Even while they were offering her everything she wanted, she'd been perfectly honest. The slime-people weren't soldiers. They never would be. "Pathetic," muttered Wildberry. "These won't do. They're... They're just globs of spit!"

Blargetha hurled curses, reminding her, "you said you had a way to toughen them up!" The berry-person turned to the witch. Cackling evilly, Maja replied, "this is where your sister comes in. I need power to conduct the transformation... That means strong emotion..." "Translation," Blargetha rumbled? "Suffering," muttered Wildberry. "Lots and lots of suffering. Just how attached are you to Hurletta?" The slime-woman shrugged. Not very much. As in at all. Smiling archly, she said, "my sister will gladly help us..." Whether she wanted to or not.

Back in the Grey Forest, Sarah Mertens knelt at the shore of the larger of the forest's two watercourses. They had spent a day gathering scrap with which to block the rivers. It was a temporary solution that would keep the forest safe. Now all they had to do was design the grating and get it positioned. Sarah thought she could use the spaceship to do the heavy lifting.

Behind her, a worried Emeraude Mertens watched as her sister-wife tottered and wobbled there at the edge of the water while her cabinet clucked and crowed like the chattering hens they were. Sarah had been _off_ all day. Hardly the image of machine efficiency, the android-girl had been dizzy and listless–nothing like her usual self. Stuff got done, but it was taking far too long. The Matriarch needed to go meet her allies and figure out who was building an army. Now, as she stood up, Sarah almost fell face-first into the river. "Ok," said the Matriarch. "That's enough. 'Letta? You're in charge." Taking Sarah by the arm, the wizard led her away from the river and over to the cart they'd arrived in.

Sitting her down, the Matriarch put a hand to her forehead and immediately snatched it back. "You're burning up," said the wizard. "Literally." The only person Emeraude had ever touched who had a temperature like that was Phoebe. "Yeah," sighed Sarah. "Something's wrong." Rubbing at her temples, she admitted, "I've had a headache all day..." The Matriarch opined, "lot's of people have headaches..." The sex-droid chuckled, "yeah, but not androids..." "C'mon," said Emeraude. "Let's get you some water and put you to bed." Leaving her Law Keeper on the job of blocking off the first of the rivers, the Matriarch took her friend home and put her to bed. After spending a little while on the phone, checking in on things at the forts and borders, the little woman washed, climbed into her nightgown, and then slipped into bed with Sarah, much as she'd always done with Simone.

As the leader of the wood-nymphs drifted off to sleep, Blargetha returned to her sister's former quarters from the dungeon to find Wildberry curled up on a stone bench, watching as the witch completed her preparations. Maja was seated, cross-legged, on the floor in the middle of the room, surrounded by a protective circle etched on the stone in stark black colors. Before her sat the Crown of the Slime Kingdom. Blargetha wasn't sure she really liked allowing the witch to use the crown as a focus for the ritual. She feared damaging it's precious mind-stone. Even with the Lich exiled to the Night-O-Sphere, she didn't want to be without its protection.

Unfortunately, since her sister had never had much in the way of clothing to wear, the crown was the one thing that was intimately tied to her person. Glancing up to find her ally there, Wildberry asked, "how is it?" Blargetha chuckled. The mutants were having rather a good time with her sister. The bitch was a screamer. Wildberry's pollen had assured her cooperation, and they had been going for _hours_. "Should be plenty of power for the ritual, then," burbled Wildberry. Nodding, Blargetha came fully into the room. She'd been through the pain of the transformation, and she couldn't help wondering how her cowardly people were going to react to it. Would any of them die? Maja had said someone who was old and infirm might. A delicious thought occurred to the evil princess. Maybe the Patriarch would kick it. _That'd sure be nice,_ she thought.

Maja, who had been whispering and chanting to herself since the ritual began, now reached down and took up the Slime Crown. Grasping it in both hands, she began to chant louder and then louder still. And then she chanted still louder. Indeed, there were moments where it seemed as though there was more than her voice there taking up that chant. Blargetha felt a bit of a thrill, as if static electricity was cascading through her body, shooting up and down her arms and legs and making her strangely tingly.

Somewhere in that loud, almost-violent chanting, she almost thought she heard Hurletta's screams. The formerly-virgin princess was in the throes of a big one. The thugs were hitting it hard, and somehow it seemed that Blargetha could hear and almost _feel_ what was happening to her sister. As the fallen princess's screams reached a crescendo, Maja closed the ritual, releasing the power in the crown in a tremendous blast that enveloped the slime-people assembled below. The princess could _hear_ the agony. She could _feel_ the screams. Siphoning their pain, Maja hurled that power into the ritual, boosting it, so that the terrible spell jumped outward, bounding from person to person until it had enveloped the entirety of the city. Females, males, children, adults, elderly. None of that mattered. The spell's energy twisted in and out of the buildings, racing up and down the streets, finding the people of the Slime Kingdom in every place they lived, transforming them.

Back in the Grey Forest, the Matriarch woke in a state of shock and panic. For a long few moments, she found herself staring into the darkness in a state of sheer terror. She'd never felt anything like it at all. Where had it come from? What had she just felt? A glance to her right found Sarah staring at her. "Are you ok," asked Emeraude? "I could ask you the same thing," the android murmured. "I've never seen a look like that on your face..." "I... felt something," she sighed. Sarah frowned at her, and the wizard knew what she was thinking. "I'm surprised Bonnie didn't equip you with some kind of sensor," said the wizard. Drawing her knees up against her chest, she said, "I felt pain. A lot of it. There's... It was like thousands of people in a state of agony the likes of which no-one's ever seen before."

The android-girl sat up now. "No," she said. "Bonnie's too devoted to science and her dusty old tomes to consider that there's things her education doesn't cover. I've often wished I dared tinker with my own body. I've... wanted to feel things that I've only ever heard about." The wizard nodded, though she hardly wanted to feel anything like that again. "We need to get to the Candy Kingdom," the wizard said. "You should probably sleep." "Ok, _mom_ ," tittered the android. Though she was already feeling better, she thought they should get back to home too. Bonnie had been in a bit of a hurry when she'd reassembled Sarah, and the android suspected that maybe one of her coolant passages was blocked or something. It would be good to get checked out and get through this. She had living to do.

Morning found the Princess of the Warrior Kingdom back in her domain and moving on with business. She'd spent the previous day's journey home angry and raging against Finn the Human. She'd suggested on several occasions having his head cut off–and she wasn't particular about which one it was. Thor got an earful the whole way back, hearing her float various schemes for murder against one or more of the wives and brutal torture against the man himself. He didn't really understand it. He didn't understand any of what the Princess was doing, and that was starting to worry him. His family had turned their backs on her once upon a time, and he'd spent much of his life dealing with the fallout of that epically bad decision. At the same time, he was now starting to have a sense that maybe there was a reason they'd turned on her.

This morning, the princess had completed a brutal workout fighting a dozen convicts barehanded, finished her morning ablutions in the icy river, and now she was ready to go out and conduct the day's business. Thor, following along in her footsteps, wondered what the business of today would bring them. She was preparing for war. That much was clear. Who that war was to be against was far less clear, and that was starting to worry him too. She'd had her sights on the treasures of the Candy Kingdom once upon a time. Did she still have her eyes turned there? That would put his beloved lady in jeopardy and his former master as well. Did he have it in him to turn against two people he actually cared about?

The Princess was in the lead as they descended into the Royal stables. Thor swiftly moved ahead of her and began barking orders at the stablehands to get the Royal Coach ready. Instead, Ingrid interrupted him, saying, "belay that. Leave that off. None of you have seen me. Is that clear?" The stablehands nodded emphatically, as the tall blonde kept right on going. Now she slipped the cloak she was carrying on over the heavy plate armor that she habitually wore. As Thor rushed to catch up, she covered herself completely, even removing her crown for good measure. Striding through the stables and out the side door, she went straight up to his beater car. Frowning in puzzlement–she'd ordered him to park his car here because she detested the sight of the thing–Thor rushed after her.

She never said a word, but he knew how quick she was to anger when you were the least bit slow on things. The big man quickly got that door open. When she'd slipped inside, he shut it after her and rushed to the driver's seat. Settling behind the wheel, he started the car up, put it in gear, and set out. Ingrid never said a word as they rolled through the palace and out the gates. Only when they were out on the road did she speak, ordering him to head south and west instead of north towards the capitol. Wherever she was bound, it didn't involve her cabinet.

She gave him infrequent directions. Mostly she sat in the shadowed backseat, staring at his back, as the car soaked up the miles. Of course, she rarely spoke to him, a lowly guard, anyway. Theirs was a very strange relationship. She kept him close–like he was the greatest treasure she had. At the same time, she rarely spoke to him, save to give orders or push him around like he was her dog. The big man put up with it, though he could sort of understand how it was that Finn found her distasteful. Would she have treated the Hero of Ooo any different? Finally, as the sun was climbing towards midmorning, she directed him to pull off the road and up the driveway of a forgotten castle. As Thor maneuvered his car between massive, twisted trees, and around half-sunken boulders, she spoke at last.

Stroking the worn leather that she sat on, she opined, "it's comfortable... Far more comfortable than my carriage." He wasn't sure what he was supposed to say to that, so he kept his mouth firmly shut. Doubling down, she asked, "is that why you keep it? Comfort?" Taking a great risk, the big man replied, "it fits in the world I now live in, Milady." He could see her frowning in the mirror. In the shadows of the backseat, that frown was almost sinister. "And do you like this world," she asked? "I'm a thug," he replied, "a man who smashes things for those who pay him. The world is the world, and I've no power to change it. That's the place of those whom I serve." Nodding, she said, "you know your place, Thor. That's good. You will be a good servant. While we are here, shut your eyes and your ears. This is _my_ business."

They were pulling into the castle's courtyard now. Thor immediately got out and drew the door for her. Settling her crown on her head, she went up the stairs. When he would have followed, she said, "stay in your world, Thor." Blinking, he realized that this place might be very dangerous for him. Turning away, he went back and got in his car to wait. The lady herself went through the massive double-doors and out of his sight.

Inside, Ingrid was greeted by Lord Ulfberht and several of the members of his clan. They were, like Thor, men who were in disgrace. They'd followed neither the princess nor the usurper, choosing to remain neutral as a means of holding onto their land and property. They'd done neither, and they were disgraced pauper-lords in Ingrid's kingdom. Now they had summoned her with the hope of becoming so very much more. What they were offering–a deadly weapon–had the power to even the odds against her foes. If it was real.

The Lord bowed deeply before her, as did the men of his clan. Inclining her head in an imperious manner, Ingrid growled, "you were supposed to deliver me a vampire. Where is she?" The man down on the end flushed to his hair and glanced down at his feet. That had been _his_ job. She'd had the once and former Lord Gulbrand's head removed for _his_ failure along with the kinsman who'd failed to deliver the goods. Now it was Ulfbhert's turn. "I do not have a vampire," said the terrified noble. "I have something that may be substantially better." Ingrid frowned. Better than a vampire? She would have to see that.

The Lord led the way down into the bowels of the castle, with his entourage falling in around her. He spoke of pleasantries and talked about the weather, which made the whole business all the more surreal. Down, down, down they went, past chambers full of the horrors of Ingrid's predecessor. Finally they ended up at the doorway of the cell to which their _weapon_ had been consigned. The Lord wasn't excited about this. The creature had attacked one of the guards already, and the man seemed to be dieing of fever. They'd left him in the other cell, just in case he was contagious.

The creature had once been Dolf Ulfberht's godson. He'd had no idea what he was getting into when Davina Ulfberht had drizzled the bitter, black fluid into his mouth. It had only been a few drops, but the taste had made him wretch. Now, he had forgotten all that he was. Instead, he only knew bleak, eternal _hunger_. The Lord carefully peered into the cell, finding the creature shackled in the corner as it had been since they'd brought it here. "Good," said he. "It's chained." "Open it," said Princess Ingrid. "B-but my lady," howled Dolf! "Open it," she growled. None of those men were willing to cross their formidable ruler, so the key was produced and the door opened straightaway.

No sooner had the door opened, than the tall princess strode inside, shrugging back her cloak to reveal who she was to the wretch within. As the men shouted for her to return, she strode straight up to the beast. Dolf covered his eyes in terror at what was surely going to happen to their ruler. It seemed the dreamed-of glorious war against their neighbors was already doomed! The chief of the clan stared, transfixed as that beautiful woman sauntered up to the monster, hips wig-wagging in sensual fashion. Stopping well within arm's reach, the princess stared into the wretch's eyes and asked, "will you serve?"

Much to the Lord's shock, the beast nodded once, emphatically. "Give me the key," said Ingrid, as she put out her hand. Nobody moved. Their ruler began to count. A guard got sent in with the key. He placed it in the princess's outstretched hand before darting back. "Your shackles, young master," said the Warrior Princess. The monster held out his hands, and she deftly unfastened his restraints. Far from pouncing on her, the beast dropped on one knee, as if he had been a courtier of long years. Drawing her sword, the princess tapped him on either shoulder and then upon his head, saying, "I do knight thee...?" "Kurja Jano, milady," growled the beast. "Apt," she said, with a nod. Turning to the cowering men in the door, she told the monster, "kill Lord Ulfberht, Sir Kurja. Turn the rest."


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21:

"Grammy's doing much better," said the Moon. "We're all doing great, Marshy." It was odd how Candace Abadeer's face would go splotchy with patches of glowing skin when she was telling a whopper lie like this. This was the worst episode yet. They'd been here for several weeks now, tracking the ghoul with patchy success, and doing their best to assuage Marshall's concerns with a succession of falsehoods. They, who'd sworn they would be truthful at all times and forthcoming in every case, were now habitual liars.

Unfortunately, things hadn't gone anything like Candace had planned it out. The ghoul was no longer in Bardolf Ulfberht's basement. Indeed, Davina's mother hadn't seen hide nor hair of her husband since Davina had 'gifted' him with the monster. Dolf Ulfberht had taken the monster in a truck down south, and he hadn't returned or even been seen since. Candace had gone out to the edge of the capitol looking, but she hadn't seen any sign of her grandfather. Her mother had scoured the town sniffing for the ghoul she'd created, but she hadn't found any sign of it.

Or rather the sign lead them in a direction neither wanted to go.

Davina had finally been forced to concede that the ghoul was gone. It wasn't in the city, and it wasn't even nearby. It wasn't even in the south anymore. It was in the northeast corner of the country, in wild-lands that had been broken in the Mushroom War. It was a place that few of the people in Warrior Kingdom ever went. The lands there were contested with bandits, and other kingdoms, and the only real habitable structures there were castles full of hostile and suspicious soldiers. And that meant there were no hotels or hostels for the two vampires to hide out in.

The pair had been living rather hard. Abandoning their bodyguards, they'd been hiding in whatever barns or caverns they could find during the day and using the nights to travel or search. They'd been using their phones sparingly and sneaking into whatever structures they could find to steal a little juice to charge them. Which did nothing at all for Marshall's peace of mind. Neither of the pair was yet strong enough to resist the burning touch of the sun in all its glory. Even Marshall rarely put himself in such danger.

"I love you, baby," murmured the Moon. "Give Connie my love too, ok. And kiss the kids for me... Yeah, baby... Momma's fine, babe. We're doing fine, baby. We gotta' go..." It was taking longer and longer to get off the phone with their husband. Candy didn't think he was becoming suspicious, but he was certainly becoming _worried_. He didn't like that they had sent their guards home. A vampire was vulnerable while sleeping, and they didn't have the depth of experience Marshall and his mother had regarding protecting themselves from the sun and the elements.

Irritated, the Moon stuffed her phone into the ugly jumpsuit she was wearing. They'd snatched the clothes off a clothesline outside one of the tiny outposts simply because they needed better protection from the burning sun. Heavy woolen workmen's shirts, a pair of gloves, and a broad-brimmed hat in the local style completed the ensemble. But it left the Moon irritated. Candy had gotten used to the fashionable clothing and the flashy jewelry, and she made sure her mother knew how angry she was about all of this.

"The scent's real strong, Candy," said Davina. "I swear it. He's close by." She'd been saying that for a while now. The scent had been very strong for days now, but they never seemed to quite home in on the right location. Candy was almost at the point where she was ready to tell her husband about her mother's transgression. She'd been working her way up to it. He'd banned them from creating vampire-spawn. Davina hadn't done that. A ghoul wasn't a vampire. It was just a mindless beast that hungered for dead flesh. Surely Marshall wouldn't consider that an equivalent transgression.

"Alright, momma," sighed Davina. "We'll go. But I warn you. This will be the last hunt." Swallowing hard, Davina nodded. Gathering on a cloak to protect her body from the sun, Candy drew the hood up and headed for the door of the herder's shack they'd been sleeping in. Davina hesitated only a moment before following.

The sun was just heading down in the sky as the two vampires went flying across the sky. They stayed low to avoid attracting notice, which gave Candy a strange exhilaration as they swooped along above the trees. The sight of the trees rushing past below–thanks to their vampire powers they saw every twig–was almost enough to give Davina vertigo. Strangely, she felt most alive doing this. It was these intensely _physical_ actions that excited her the most. The castle came closer and closer and then closer still. "He's here, Candy," howled Davina! "I'm sure of it." Candy was starting to smell the scent now too. It was _intense_ if she could smell it. Ordinarily a vampire could only sniff out the ghouls he or she had created at range, but Candy could smell it almost from a mile away. _Something's wrong,_ she thought. This didn't feel right. Alighting on one of the towers, the pair shrunk themselves down to the size of mice, quickly scuttling inside through a gap at the bottom of a door.

Down below, the Warrior Princess walked among her new troops with their captain at her side. "The last batch will be ready soon," said the ghoul. "They're suffering through the _fever_ now." Ingrid nodded. He'd turned three hundred. She had a regiment of undead fiends who would be almost unstoppable in a battle. Faster than nearly any warrior alive, they would tear the heart out of an enemy army in short order did she choose to deploy them. "Are the provisions satisfactory," she suddenly asked? Kurja wrinkled his nose. "Too fresh last time, milady," he replied. "Too fresh by half..." "You're cleaning out many of the graves and charnel-houses," she reminded him. "We can subsist on rotting cattle-meat," replied the ghoul. "For a time. Save the good meat for the eve of battle. It will help the troops' morale." Nodding, she said, "I'll bear that in mind, Sir Kurja..."

As the pair reached the stairs to the great hall, the lady said, "you may join me for dinner, Sir Kurja..." As always, the ghoul demurred, reminding her, "I am a monster, milady. The sight of my supper isn't fit for my lord and master." "And if I insist," said she? The fiend bowed to her, saying, "you are the master, milady. It will be as you wish." "Bring your lieutenants, Kurja," she said. "We have plans to make. Thinking helps my digestion, and I want our plans in place before I leave tomorrow."

Preparations for supper were quickly put in place, and the undead brought the creatures selected as his lieutenants with him to dine with their master. Far from being any of the Clan chiefs or elders she'd given him, the men who were his subordinates were from among the worst of the criminals she'd sent here to be turned. That was a fascinating lesson in itself. She would have expected him to make use of the skills of the nation's best generals.

On his side, Kurja learned that his master was even more formidable than he'd already guessed. He'd known when she came to him in that filthy cell that she was _gifted_. Now, as his lieutenants went to their knees before her, he learned that it was no fluke. More to the point, she showed no revulsion at all to their dining _habits_. Instead, as she daintily picked at roasted duck, the pretty princess talked of how she wished him to operate against her enemies. Kurja, having learned very little about the grand strategies of war, opened his ears to listen. At least he did until the _interruption_.

The vampires burst into the room in a fury. The plump one landed on the table with a thud, scattering plates, while the thin one blocked the door. "I'm sorry, Your Highness," announced Davina. "My awarding of a gift to my idiot father was a dreadful oversight. I'm afraid I'll be taking this creature back..." "Mother," gasped Candace. "Th-there's two more..." Davina turned to find two more fiends staring up at her from the chairs on either side of the table. Glaring at the original, she howled, "I commanded that you make no others!" "He doesn't obey you," retorted the princess. Davina turned to face the princess, who sat there calmly staring up at her. Her blue eyes fixed on Davina's, as she popped a tasty morsel in her mouth. The Moon frowned. Rare was the mortal who wasn't instantly terrified of a vampire.

"You are the Heirophant and the Moon," rumbled the princess. "You know us...," burbled Davina. "How?" "Milady knows _many_ things," chuckled Kurja. Davina let the savage within her loose, growing to a height of nine-feet, her hulking body growing fangs the size of daggers. Far from being terrified, the princess merely asked, "will you serve me, Davina Ulfberht?" The Heirophant stopped in mid motion. The Moon frowned in worry and fear. What did that mean? She stepped towards the scene at the table, gathering her powers as she did so, but the Princess's words arrested her in mid-motion. "You are powerful, Moon," said the Princess, "but you are not the King of Vampires." Vertigo came on quickly, and the Moon toppled, falling with a heavy thud.

Turning to Kurja's lieutenants, the Princess said, "take them up to the highest tower and confine them in the solar. There will be sufficient light during the day to weaken them until I have time to deal with them." The two ghouls snatched up the woozy vampires and hauled them away. The Princess turned to her tame monster and said, "unfortunately, this means you'll need to leave a company here, Sir Kurja..." Acknowledging that with a nod, the fiend replied, "I can turn more on the way, milady. I'll arrive at the lager in a week's time and wait for your orders." Rising, the Princess prepared to leave. She had her vampires. Finally. When she really no longer needed them, and their presence added complications. This whole plan was going off the rails quickly with nothing playing out the way it was intended. And she still needed Finn. Troublesome Finn Mertens who was playing so very hard to seduce.

Days later, Fionna Mertens-Petrikov exited the bathroom to find her husband sitting on the couch with their daughter sitting in her crib beside him. Precocious and fast as her mother, the little darling was already trying to stand for extended periods, and, much like her mother, she was daddy's little girl. Watching Patrick play with Mona did things to Fionna. She felt things that she'd been having trouble feeling for a while. She'd been kind of a lot angry at her husband. It was stupid and crazy, and she knew it. He was the one person who'd always seemed to care about her, no matter how much of a jerk-face she was being. He was the one man who'd stood by her in spite of her problems. He'd kept right on loving her when she couldn't have been bothered to love him back because she was chasing boys who were so much _more_ than he was.

 _You were everything he said,_ she thought. The things he'd said about girls weren't nice, but she had to admit that some of them were very true. She did like the Marshall Lees of the world. She thought they were stupid fun and crazy-sexy. She did like the Boniface Bubblegums of the world–thought not really for the reasons Patrick thought of. She liked dudes who were put-together. She liked dudes who dressed up for dinner. She liked that old-fashioned charm. To a point. Opposites attract. She knew it as much as she knew how to breathe.

She had a real temptation. It was always there in the back of her mind. She was disappointed by her hubby. Patrick Petrikov _was_ cute. He was cute when he was trying, but he wasn't a stud-muffin like her brothers. He was staid, buttoned down, and _boring_. When she went down the list of boxes on her checklist for what made a great guy, he didn't check many of them. Really he only checked one. He was absolutely and utterly loyal to _her_. Thick and thin. Righteous and wrong. He was devoted to Fionna Petrikov. Just like he was loyal to Mona.

 _Do you really want to do this,_ she wondered? He was so in love with Mona. He came by every day. He might well have been here all day, if she didn't kick him out sometimes. She had a choice to make. She couldn't keep doing this to the three of them. She had to decide where she wanted this to go now. Patrick had done the one thing she couldn't really forgive. He'd called her stupid. Or at least it had felt like that. He hadn't exactly _said_ she was stupid. _But you_ are _stupid,_ a voice reminded her. _Why would you go out and chop wood when you're preggers? Only someone_ stupid _would do that._

She could give Mona to her husband, get out of their lives, and just move on. She didn't have to stay here, and she didn't have to burden everybody with her dumbness. Patrick was better at taking care of their kid than she was anyway. Or she could kick Patrick aside and tell him never to come back. It would get real awkward around holidays if she did that, especially when she considered that her dad was now bangin' Patrick's mom. Or she could take Mona with her, just leave town, and do her best to manage. But that was an awful thought too.

"Patrick," she murmured. "Yeah, babe," he replied. "W-what happened," she whined? "W-why'd I do this to us? I don't understand it..." Patrick felt a twinge of anger. He'd been feeling anger for a while, and his mother had been urging him to get it out on the table so he could let go of it. But that was _her_ way. She would have epic blow-outs with his dad where she was shouting and cussing at him, and sometimes it seemed like she was egging his dad on to just go the fuck off too. Patrick's way was one of self-reflection. He liked to dig away at the anger, figure out what was wrong and what his part was in it, and figure out a way to resolve the problem. Then he wouldn't be angry anymore. Trouble was that he hadn't even been able to bring this up with Fionna.

"I don't like it when you just assume that everyone thinks you're stupid, Fi," he said. He knew exactly what she would be doing. Hopping from one foot to the other in her typical ADHD way. She couldn't help it, and that was the hell of it all. It was why he couldn't blow up at her. She was, quite literally, born this way. He heard footsteps, and then suddenly she was sitting down beside him–like she hadn't been for months now. "I shouldn't have shouted at you," she said. "I'm s-sorry." He knew from talking to his mom and talking to Simone just how hard that was for a girl to say. Taking her hand, he gave it a squeeze and said, "for the record, I don't think you're stupid, Fi. You have ADHD. You can't help being this way. I... I just wanted to help you, the way Nadia helped your dad."

He turned to face her, and he could tell from the look on her face just what she was thinking. "You're only thinking of it from the surface, Fi," he said. "You heard your dad suddenly using big words for the first time in his life, and you think that's what it's all about. What you don't see is the underneath... the reason _why_ he's suddenly able to use those words." Now she was just staring at him in puzzled confusion. This was clearly a direction she hadn't seen this conversation going. He understood. He hadn't seen it either.

Patrick had something else that was mind-blowing. He told her, "your dad's always been the smartest person in the room, Fi. Smarter even than Bonnie Bubblegum. I mean, yeah sure... She's good with science, but she's kind of an idiot. She does all that stupid shit that gets her in trouble. Without his idiot brother on the scene to throw him off track, your dad's sharp as a tack. He's brilliant. Just... nobody could see it because he couldn't focus himself." She was listening now. "You built the strategy that saved the Lich Containment countless times, Fi," said Patrick. " _You_ did. Not Bonnie. Not Phoebe. Not Nadia. Fionna Mertens-Petrikov did it. Alone. Just like her dad would have done it. You had the strategy to get all the peeps off the island–even some of the bandits who were causing the problems. You got us all free of the island before Cinnamon Bun set the Lich free. You're brilliant as your dad, Fi, but something's holding you back, the same way Finn was before Nadia's nanobugs."

Her expression was bleak, and he knew what she was thinking. "I've loved you since we were kids, not too much older than Mona," Patrick said with a sigh. "I could lie to myself about how I was Goin' My Own Way, but I was never gonna' stop lovin' you, Fi. Even if we're splits right now, I can't stop being in love with you. I just wanted to help, Fi. That's all." "W-wha... How," she murmured? She sounded close to tears. "Been readin' up on Nadia's people and their nano-machines," said Patrick. "About how they work and some of the stuff they do inside your body..." "Y-you want to put those things in me," she murmured? Typical Fi, she sounded half-terrified and half-excited.

"Something better," he said. Reaching into his pocket, he took out a little case. It was like the jewelry case her ring had come in. The ring she hadn't worn in months. "I'm sorry I was a jerk," she said. "I'd understand if you wanted the ring back." "Nah," he said. "You don't take rings back, Fi. No good dude does that." Opening the case, he showed her a tiny reddish jewel. "Went back into the city," he said. "Down to the core..." Fionna shot to her feet in terror. The City of Crystal Fiends wasn't somewhere you went alone. With a shrug, he said, "learned some things while I was working on your sword..." And from the fact that the crystals were now infesting her body, much like the grass-sword cohabited Finn's, though he left that part out.

Motioning her to sit down again, he told her, "your brain chemistry's off–like your dad's. Ma and I figured that Nadia's nanobugs are modifying his brain-chemistry almost continuously now. _This_ will do the same thing for you. It'll help you focus and _stay_ focused the way you were on the island when we were all in danger." He handed her the case and said, "I'll leave it to you if you want to use it or not, babe. Right now... I just want you to come home. Where I can look after you and Mona." The bad bunny stared at the little thing in her hand. Then she stared at her hubby, before turning to stare at the little gadget he'd made. Folding the thing back into its case, she turned and laid a scorcher of a kiss on him.

That was another thing that had been troubling them over the last few months. Patrick had been frustrated by the lack of sex, and Fionna, feeling the strain a little herself, had been hesitant to put them in a spot where she got him excited. The lack of intimacy had been killing them. In point of fact, she was still a couple weeks out from being clear to do it, but she was determined to give him _something_. Reaching down, she grabbed her boy-toy's dick, stroking it through the cloth of his jeans and causing a shiver to run up his spine. "Just relax, ok," she said, as she unzipped his pants. Patrick did his best to do just that, but it was hard when he really wanted to throw her down and bang the shit out of her, doctor's orders be damned.

The pretty blonde began by stroking his pecker, causing it to grow and harden in her hands. Patrick moaned at the feel of her rough hands on his meat. She was a lot more gentle with it than he ever was. Her feather-light touches soon had him shivering and moaning softly. "I know I haven't been doing much for you, baby," she sighed, blowing hot breath on his knob. Leaning down she engulfed him with her warm mouth, sucking hard on his pecker. "Glob, Fi," Patrick groaned. Licking his tip, she said, "makeup sex is the best, and we're gonna' have some soon! Promise. But for now..."

Fionna got off the couch and knelt in front of him. Reaching down to her waist, she caught the hem of her shirt and hauled it over her head, tossing it aside to bare her awesome rack to his delighted eyes. Patrick would have sworn those boobies were even bigger than they'd been before, and he now saw he was all too right. Fi's bountiful bosom was now stretching the bounds of her already-huge bra, with tit-flesh overflowing the sides. She took the bra off and slung it into the corner before engulfing his pecker in oceans of creamy skin. Spitting on his dong, she began to glide those big boobies up and down his shaft, occasionally stopping to drizzle a little more spit on him until his dick was gliding and sliding between those giant mounds with a speed and ease that left him clawing the arms of the couch.

It felt so fucking good. After months of just beatin' it, this felt like heaven. He'd forgotten what it was like to feel her doing this to him. "Ooooh, shit, Fi...," moaned the wizard. Yeah, he was hooked. He was her chump–her blue-pill dufus–but he couldn't help it. A part of him wondered if maybe he wasn't wrong about Finn. Fi's daddy seemed to be the ultimate dude's dude, doing his stud thing with half the princesses of Ooo. But it was just possible that he was a poor, pussy-addicted slob like Patrick.

Fionna had been doing this to him for a long while now, and she knew just how to keep his blood boiling. She would slow down before he blew and then speed up again. She would give him one of her patented pouty-girl looks and lick those plump, dick-sucking lips of hers to get him really riled up. Finally, in spite of all her teasing, he could take no more. Squirming in his seat, hips thrusting at her plump bosom, Patrick Petrikov decorated his wife's face with his steamy white-sauce.

Face coated in his goo, Fionna giggled like a school girl. Grabbing her face, Patrick planted a sloppy wet kiss on her nasty lips. Guys thought he was kind of gross that way, but he didn't give a fuck. He loved Fi most of all when she was like this. Breaking that kiss, Fionna admitted, "I missed that..." It came out half as a sob. Wiping goo off his own face, Patrick chuckled, "yeah. Me too." Softly, she said, "I... gotta' go to work. Star needs my help." Patrick said, "I'll be here with Mona, then. We'll be fine, right?" Fionna nodded. She'd left lots of milk in the fridge.

Fionna got up then and went into the bathroom to wash her face. When she came back, Patrick had retrieved her blouse and bra. As he watched with interest, she wriggled back into the heavy canvas, stuffing her big knobs back inside before pulling her shirt on over her head. She gave him an almost-shy grin when she found him looking at her. "Don't go beating off," she told him. "Save it up. I want some fun too." He promised he wouldn't, though that was a helluva promise to keep after seeing that show. Without a further word, she gathered up her backpack and headed for the door.

At Fionna's destination in the Candy Kingdom's Royal Auditorium, her younger sister was overseeing the closing stages of setup, shepherding the Royals in and verifying that all her security measures were in place. Even having done this a few times now, she was nervous. This was the culmination of everything that had happened in the last year, almost from the time the Lich was defeated. That stood to reason considering that everything still looked to come off the rails at any moment.

The atmosphere struck Star as being rather like a powder-keg. Not only did they have nearly every Royal gathered here in Bonnie's capitol for the outcome of the ice-removal project, but they had the formal transfer of the War-Machine to deal with. It said something about just how happy some of the factions were that nearly everybody had brought rather substantial entourages. Many of those _assistants_ had the cast of trained soldiers. They'd come prepared for war. Some were hoping for peace. Star thought they were. But nearly everybody had come prepared for war. And that was adding to the strain.

Star _wasn't_ prepared. She wasn't prepared for anything more than defending the capitol of the Candy Kingdom. The Banana Guard had taken it hard on the chin when dealing with the Lich. Never well-armed or well-trained, they'd had to fight a real, honest-to-glob war, and they'd taken a pounding. Many of them had gone into retirement. The rest were angry, demon-haunted peeps who were having real trouble keeping it together. She had a fairly large contingent of Froyo people who'd gotten attached to the Candy Kingdom and decided to stay, and she had a fair number of people out of the Muscle Kingdom who'd also made their homes here. A fair chunk of those were now augmenting the Banana Guard, but she just didn't have the numbers for a war.

That had been, more or less, by design. Bonnie had relied on Finn the Human's fierce reputation to keep enemies at bay. Mostly that had worked in concert with peoples' very real fear of what Bonnie could cook up in the bowels of her laboratory. Bonnie did her best never to stoke fear by being _seen_ creating weapons of destruction to try out on her neighbors. She had been remarkably circumspect. And now she was remarkably defenseless in the face of growing hostility. With every Royal bringing a pack of his or her bodyguards along for the festivities, the place threatened to blow up in the wood-nymph's face.

That of course said nothing about Star's worries about the various moms and her younger siblings. There had been two attempts on her wicked stepmother in the last week alone–a drive-by on her office and a car bomb that had shattered windows for three blocks. There were strange men following the Ice Queen and her mom around. Star had wanted to question them, but the Wiz-Guard had gotten there first, turning the hapless losers into sticks. Of course, Star was certain all they'd succeeded in doing is sending the watchers underground. Marceline was untouchable. She was a demon–quite literally the Lord of Hell. But that still left Drew, Lollipop, Bonnie, Nadia, Sarah, and Phoebes to worry over. That didn't even get into the attack on the Grey Forest. Their insane family was crumbling and her dad was nowhere to be found.

She had no control at all over Phoebe and Nadia. Those two were gone more often than they were here, but she'd placed extra guards on the rest, whether they liked it or not. She would place extra guards on her mother when she showed up, and she would have Fionna to look after Simone and Betty when they got here–Wiz-Guard be damned. She was doing everything she could, when she really wanted to curl up in a corner and cry. Her life was coming apart again. Just when it seemed like everything was going to get back on track–just when she'd started to adjust to the strange new _normal_ of her world–Thor took a crap on their relationship, and the idiot princesses exiled her dad.

"You doing ok," asked Sarah? "Been better," admitted the Captain of the Guard. Coming around in front of her, Sarah gave the young woman her typically brilliant smile. Much like Fionna, Star was at once creeped out by how _different_ the android-girl was from Bonnie but at the same time how similar they were. Just now, she found herself reveling in the differences because Bonnie couldn't seem to be bothered with concern for Star's mental health right now. Star knew the pink princess was under stress herself. She was doing her best to manage being a mom in Finn's absence–something she was absolutely rotten at–and she had to deal with the Privy Council and the politics too.

Fortunately, Sarah had taken over the whole business of feeding the Candy Kingdom. The android-girl had abandoned Bonnie's grand, unified solution and come up with rather simple staples that could be easily planted, harvested, and processed by the citizenry in greenhouses built in the towns and villages with minimal resources. The Kingdom was already doing better, and they'd been able to help out with the shortages around Ooo. Taking Star's face in her hands, the android-woman whispered, "hey. We're doing fine. He'd be here if he could, but right now we're supporting each other. You are your father's daughter, Star. You're doing everything he'd be doing if he was home, and I know he'd be proud of you."

Giving her a kiss on the cheek, the android-girl got on her way, leaving Star staring after her. She was doing better. Bonnie couldn't seem to find time to investigate Sarah's mysterious health issues, but it had been a while since the overheating incident in the Grey Forest. Sarah herself was cautiously optimistic that whatever was plugged up or malfunctioning had straightened itself out, and she'd thrown herself into work with abandon.

"She ok," asked Fionna? "Yeah," said Star, as she turned to look at her sister. Fionna had been considering tieing Bonnie to a chair in the lab until she looked into what was afflicting Sarah. It was clear to pretty much everybody in the family that the problems started with the new parts Bonnie installed. It was also clear to everybody in the family that Sarah was far more popular than her creator, and Bonnie was jealous of her. It was _amazing_ how much Bonnie found for Sarah to do to get her away from the kids or the other wives. Which was sort of bothering some of them. Sarah had made it clear that she wanted to be on her own, but Bonnie seemed to be holding her back more than ever.

Star turned to her sister and said, "you look a little flushed." Indeed Fi was all grins. She was almost giddy at having straightened things out with Patrick. At the same time, knowing that Star hadn't even been able to reach Thor to talk about things, she wasn't sure if she should bring it up. Settling for a middle-ground, she admitted, "Patrick and me talked through some stuff..." Star blinked in startlement. She'd been wondering if her hard-headed sister would _ever_ get her act together. "That's great, Fi," she said, and she was sincerely happy about it. Moving on, the bad bunny asked, "so where does the Captain of the Guard need me?" "Stay with mom and grandmom," Star replied. "I don't trust the Wiz-Guard." Nodding as she turned to go, Fi said, "they're wizards. They're guaranteed to be looney."

Over the next few hours, the Royals arrived, one by one. Star had altered the usual pattern, working out when each was to get here instead of having them all show up at once. As each prince or princess showed his or her face, Star's dudes steered them–and their bodyguards–to their assigned place in the hall, roped them off, and kept them there. With all the tension, she didn't want anybody getting out of pocket and starting a fight, so she had Bonnie's servants do all the fetching of refreshments. The Royals got a little irritated at having their movements curtailed, but Star let it be known that this wasn't really negotiable. There wasn't going to be a fight on _her_ watch.

On the stroke of one, _she_ arrived. She came up in a beautiful car that seemed to share more with an old-fashioned coach than the truck Star rode to work in. It was long and came with narrow tired-wheels and sculpted fenders, and an open driver's seat, which _he_ was occupying. Star saw red, and it took a lot of willpower not to go down there and pummel Thor for dumping her. Coolly, she greeted Princess Nasty with, "Your Highness..." Warrior Princess stared down her nose at Finn's odious daughter. The little witch came dressed in britches like a man under a heavy leather jerkin and all in a charcoal-black. "Right this way," said the Captain of the Guard. "You and your guards will have to stay in your assigned place."

The two women locked eyes, and Thor found himself flinching. Whether it was Thor's taking service with the Princess or Finn's jilting of said princess, these two women seemed to be set at loggerheads. They weren't friends, and it was clear they were never going to be. "Very well," rumbled Ingrid the Warrior Princess as she brushed past. Thor led the small contingent of guards and staff along in her wake, uncomfortably aware of Star's eyes on his back. He had been trying to remember why he was doing this, but it was starting to feel like this gambit was a failure before it had even started.

The hall filled near to capacity, and Star found herself continually rushing around calming ruffled feathers as the business seemed to grow ever closer to disaster with each Royal added to the mix. Unfortunately several of them seemed to be _late_. Star had intended to fill the hall in sequence and several Royals were outside their arrival times. That had her very nervous. Her moms were all here. Nadia and Simone and Phoebe and Betty and Bonnie and Cherry and her birth-mom. However, several of Bonnie's allies were missing. Hurletta the Slime Princess was late. Belle the Hotdog Princess was absent, and, of course, there was the wild-card. Talia. Where was Talia? Was the terrible and fearsome Baba Yaga going to show? As one of the oldest Royals on Ooo, the great witch had a place of honor, but there was a high probability that she wouldn't appear. Only Star's father seemed to have any power at all to compel the witch to do what he wanted, and he mostly cajoled and pleaded.

Time ticked by, with Bonnie and her friends growing more and more nervous. Wildberry was also missing, and that brought a different sort of fear. She was insulted– _mortally_ –by the proceedings from the previous meeting. Bonnie feared she would try disrupting things with violence. Still and all, even with all the angry Royals gathered, nothing particularly terrible seemed to be happening. As the clock struck two, the door opened once more, and Star glanced up, expecting one of the missing royals. Instead, she found a rough-worn figure there with a scruffy blonde beard and hair that had grown much too long.

Finn's appearance stretched to his clothes. His familiar blue shirt had been replaced with a buckskin shirt that he looked to have cut off the deer himself. His pants were ragged and much-patched, making him look like he'd been living a rather hard life. Star very nearly burst into tears. At the same time, she wanted to strangle a bunch of cunts–her mother included. It had been a joke. A big fucking joke. Make Finn the Warlord of Ooo. And his family be damned.

Striding down the center aisle, the big man said not a word. He might well have been a ghost. Warrior Princess moved to step into the aisle, but the last human brushed right past her as if she wasn't even there. Striding to the middle of the hall, he took position in front of the heavy machine that controlled the robot-army. Softly, he said, "I stand ready to take command of the Army of Ooo." Bonnie, eyes misty, was halfway down the stairs of the podium until Ragnhild's hand arrested her. This wasn't the time for emotion.

"Not so fast," announced an unfamiliar voice.

Every face there turned to the door where an unlikely group of creatures was being escorted inside. "Who're you," asked Bonnie Bubblegum? "This is highly irregular." Star's reaction was far more pointed. She signaled her sister, who was standing in front of the newcomers in the literal blink of an eye. Like their father, Fionna had all but surrendered herself to the Quicksilver Curse, claiming it helped her manage having a kid and a job. Star was pretty sure it was just fun for Fi to blip around like that.

The newcomers were humanoid-tall, and the six males came dressed in heavy armor that seemed like it was made of some crusty, hardened substance, and there was not a smile among the pack. The lone female was as curvy as Fionna, and she came dressed in a natty sky-blue dress that showed off acres of her strange, semi-translucent green skin. Atop her head was a familiar crown. "Blargetha," murmured Bonnie. "How...?" "How isn't really important," said the slime-woman. "I'm ruler of the Slime Kingdom. You will admit me or explain why not..." Fionna glanced to Bonnie, who reluctantly nodded. The pretty blonde stepped aside as the strangers came strolling down the aisle, taking up one of the empty sections of the hall.

Smiling archly, Princess Blargetha said, "why don't we get started?" Frowning, Ragnhild declared, "we don't have a complete quorum. We're missing several members, including Wildberry Princess..." The new Slime Princess snapped her fingers and one of her guards rushed forward with a scroll, laying it on the secretary's desk. Ragnhild unrolled the scroll, finding it sealed with Wildberry's signet. "She's given Blargetha permission to speak on her behalf," rumbled the Froyo Princess. Bonnie burbled, "this is irregular..." "It's also the case that my colleague feels _threatened_ ," retorted Blargetha. "I felt safe coming, so she asked me to speak on her behalf. It's all above board." "Very well," said Bonnie.

Cherry had been warning her that dangerous things were going on in Wildberry's Kingdom. Now it looked like they were going to see just how dangerous things were. Bonnie had suspected from the first that Wildberry was neck-deep in whatever was happening with the mystery army. Now her mind suddenly conjured a story that Finn had once told her. Blargetha was dangerously intelligent with a desire for conquest and the skill to make weaponry. _What if she's the one behind this mystery army,_ thought the candy monarch? Blargetha's war-machines had been too big for her people to use, but mercenaries might fill the bill.

It appeared that Belle wasn't going to show, and Bonnie had an unpleasant suspicion that Blargetha might have done something awful to Hurletta. That was cause for a future investigation. In the now, she moved business onward. "Warlord Finn," she said. "Please place your hand on the Control Pedestal." Finn did as commanded. "Alright, hero," said Bonnibel. "I need you to think of a sequence of numbers and letters. Fix it in your mind, but _don't say it aloud_! I find it helpful to think of the name of a person or a place that's important to me." Nodding, Finn said, "I understand, Peebles. Let's move on." He was anxious to be done with this. Shit was about to get real, and he was standing there like a living target, waiting to be done in by all the freaks who wanted power.

"Rattleballs," shouted Bonnie. "Command-string: Kilo. Alpha. Seven. Nine. Golf. Eight. Nine. Sierra. Acknowledge new Prime Operator." The battle-droid-turned war-machine responded in his mechanical voice, "command acknowledged. Reading Finn the Human. Well met, Finn. Reading command string. Reading authorization title. Warlord of Ooo. Saving identity. Command complete." "It is done," sighed Bonnie. She felt... strangely relieved. After all the twists and turns and all the lies, she'd managed to shed herself of the burden of this dreadful secret. Phoebe's hand grabbed at hers and squeezed, letting Bonnie know she wasn't alone. This felt good. It felt good if you didn't consider they'd sacrificed their husband for this moment.

Finn turned then, and he would have left just as he'd come. Blargetha said, "not so fast." The big man stopped right where he was. "How do we know that you're actually going into exile," she demanded? Stepping out into the aisle, she put her hands on her newly-fashioned hips, pursed those pouty lips of hers and said, "you're sleeping with a pack of these sluts. You have a pack of bastards with them. How do we know you're not planning to sneak back here?" "You have my word," Finn replied. The Slime Princess howled laughter. She laughed a long few minutes until Ragnhild gaveled for order.

Glaring at her–the thought of losing Finn this way was already bad enough–Bonnie said, "that was the agreement. We all agreed to it. The vote was taken." "The vote," laughed Blargetha?! "You call that sham a vote?! When you go dragging in faceless enigmas from the wastelands to sit in council and vote?! We're going to have a new vote, Bonnibel. A _fair_ one. You can bring out your sham Royal if you like..." Now Bonnie's bad vibe grew into a very bad feeling. Taking out her phone, Blargetha brought up a hologram. It was Belle, locked into a very small cage, rather like she was somebody's pet. Beside her, kneeling in a second cage, was a forlorn creature who looked much like Blargetha's new form–except this creature had Hurletta's face. That was two of their allies at one stroke!

The room erupted then, with the various princesses hurling threats and insults at each other. The fact that Blargetha and Wildberry had the temerity to actually kidnap Hotdog Princess shocked nearly everyone. "We expect a new vote," declared Wildberry's voice. "A fair vote. No Baba Yaga. No stacking the deck with your friends..." "That's not open to negotiation, Wildberry," retorted Bonnie. "All Royals will be sat in this Hall, no matter how long it's been since they voted." "Then let us vote on war, Bonnibel," retorted Wildberry. "As of this moment, my faction votes that we settle this matter the old way..."

The nasty berry laid out a litany of grievances that were as numerous as they were often petty. Many of them were aimed at Bonnie, but as many were aimed at various of Bonnie's friends and neighbors. As she rattled to the end, she gave them one last chance to turn aside, but it was more of the same sort of bluster than anything else. Many of the things she'd suggested were absurd. She was literally suggesting that Bonnie consolidate all her citizens in her capitol once more! As if that was even possible. The nasty bitch was suggesting things she _knew_ wouldn't be acceptable. "You know none of us can do that," muttered Bonnie. "The Privy Council doesn't have the right to strip the Princess of the Underworld of her title and position. We don't have the right to force all realms back to their old borders. You're placing conditions that can't be met." "I guess it's war, then," said the sour berry. "Goodbye, Bonnibel. Next I see you, I'll put a dagger through your heart." Wildberry hung up then.

Blargetha chuckled, "well, that's that." Turning to go, she said, "this place will be at the heart of the maelstrom. I advise anybody with any sense to walk away from this nasty bitch and her pals." With no further word, she turned and began walking out. As the Privy Council watched, many of the other Royals joined her. Many more took that moment to declare their neutrality before rushing out of that place. In short order, Bonnie found herself with just fifteen allies left.

The pack of them turned first to their leader–who seemed to be just as shell-shocked as the rest of them–then to the enigma in the center of the room. Their faces were frightened. "I'm proscribed," said Finn. "I can't help you now." That one word, coming from the man who'd always seemed like the dumbest rock in the box, sounded like a death knell. At the same time, none of those supposedly wise leaders had idea the first what to do now. They had no clue even what their options were other than to be snatched off their thrones and imprisoned like Belle and Hurletta. There were a lot of long faces there, Star's not least among the pack.

Her mind conjured scenarios. Nadia's people had powerful defenses. Her land could be a safe-haven for Finn's family. They could exile themselves there. Or maybe they could go over the seas to the far side of the world. They had allies there. She couldn't defend the Candy Kingdom. There was no way she could fight off an army of carnivorous fruit-people with the tiny army she had. That assumed that Wildberry only had her own army. If she'd deposed her sister, Blargetha might well be the person behind the army that had hit the Grey Forest. That would be _two_ armies against them. Then you had to throw in Peanut-Princess, Elbow-Princess, and Muscle Princess. They all had armies too.

Speaking in her soft, clear voice, the Princess of the Underworld opined, "we must hold a new vote." "On what," demanded a shocked and frightened Purple Princess? "We need to elect an effective leader, Noemi," retorted the little candy-person. Bonnie's face went red hot, but Cherry didn't take it back. Nor, for that matter, did the tall woman dare to argue the point. She'd lost. She'd brought them here, and she had no effective way out. They were so thoroughly _boned_ , she wouldn't have been able to articulate all the ways they were screwed in a half-hour meeting! The gathered Royals began to babble and stammer incoherently as if they'd never given that any thought.

Alexia the Laurel Princess burbled, "b-but won't that antagonize them? We'd be... We're violating the Peace of Ooo..." "The Peace is already broken, Alex," Finn replied. "Wildberry and Blargetha broke it when they attacked the Grey Forest..." The gathered Royals stared at him. "He's right," sighed Cherry. "Agents of mine have been tracking a large number of mercenaries come out of the wastelands through Elbow Kingdom. It's no coincidence that Bathilde runs with Wildberry..." Alex went very pale. Royals didn't attack Royals. They sometimes blustered, and they'd all been known to do bad things to each other's envoys in a fit of pique. Nobody took it farther than that. That risked the collapse of everything and a return to the dark ages where everyone was at war constantly.

Ragnhild stood, recognized herself, and said, "I hereby do nominate Finn the Human as our Leader. Let him be made _King_ of the civilized lands of Ooo." Several princesses stared at her as if she'd lost her mind. Strangely enough Alex wasn't one of them. Rising, she said, "I do _second_ this nomination." Voice rising an octave in her excitement, the Frozen Yogurt Princess said, "all in favor, vote by verbal affirmation." Cherry was first out of the gate, declaring, "aye." That started a cascade. As Bonnie glumly looked on, woman after woman affirmed that Finn, who'd been a clownish figure in his youth, would be a much better leader than she. In short order, the gathering declared that he would be their King. Only Bonnie was left. The big man turned to his wife and said, "it must be unanimous. I won't accept if it isn't."

Bonnie's face flushed as she realized that her husband was calling her out. He'd said it before when she'd caught him with Sarah. She had to choose. She couldn't be off on her own making her own deals. She was part of things or she wasn't. Wiping at tears, she said, "alright. I... ok..." Before she could begin to cry, Phoebe hugged her. That had needed to happen. They'd started this, but neither of them was really qualified to carry it forward. It was time to move on.

Softly, Finn said, "we don't have a lot of time. I will carry the existing cabinet forward. Breakfast, Ragnhild, Bonnie, Cherry, Nadia, and Phoebe please wait for me in the Privy Council chamber. Star, Fionna, and William Mertens? We are more vulnerable now as a family and as a people than we've ever been. Please gather up all the attending bodyguard detachments, organize a protective detail for this palace, and remove all non-essential people from the building. Sarah? I would very much appreciate your working with Peppermint Butler to see that quarters are provided for everybody." Finally his eyes fell on his most wayward of children. "I should like to speak with the King of Vampires," said he. "Now." Motioning for his son to follow him, the big man went up to the balcony overlooking the hall.

Marshall, who'd watched the whole thing with a sort of bemused interest, now found himself drawn in against his will. He didn't really want a part of this. He and his were _neutral_. He wasn't sure how this was going to play with Connie's peeps, but, as far as he was concerned, vampire-kind was neutral. Still, this was his dad, and an order was an order. With a heavy sigh, he kissed his lady on her cheek and headed up to see what the old man wanted. When he arrived, he found Finn staring into the darkness, looking a lot like his mom did when she was having one of those life-has-sucked-hard-for-me-since-forever _episodes_. "Spread your darkness around us," instructed the newly crowned King of Ooo. Startled, Marshall did just as he'd been asked, warning his father what that would feel like. It only occurred to him after he'd spoken that his father had likely felt this a couple dozen-hundred times with his mother. _Complicated, Marshall,_ he reminded himself.

"Dad," he said, before the big man could get into the unpleasant business that needed to be discussed. "I just want to say that I feel for you, man. I... I'm sorry for all the shit that's been going down lately." The hard look on the big man's face wavered, and, for a moment, he was the man Marshall had always known. That had a bit of a calming effect, letting Marshall face the uncertainty ahead himself. "Need you to do me a favor," said Finn. "Name it," said Marshall. "I need you to take the war-machine away, Marshall," said Finn. "Take it to Baba Yaga's home." Marshall's jaw came unhinged. Reaching out, the big man took hold of his shoulder and gave it a squeeze, saying, "this is the way it has to be, Marshall. That machine wasn't meant to make war on the people of Ooo. Do it tonight, when everyone's gone to bed." Reluctantly, Marshall nodded, and, strangely enough, he understood. He was neutral. He was the force of neutrality here. Who else could take charge of the machine? Just he and Baba Yaga.

When he had come back down the stairs, he found E waiting on him. The once-and-former Huntress Wizard looked dynamite in a long, silvery-grey dress–the Matriarch's signature color. She was even more beautiful than the first day he'd laid eyes on her. Her green eyes were wet though, and she looked close to tears. Over the years of their shared life, she'd grown closer to her emotions, and she no longer lashed out in anger when she hit a setback or found something she couldn't accept in her life. She'd become strangely _vulnerable_ , but that made him love her more.

In a voice that spoke of her misery, she told her husband, "I... I have to stand aside, Finn..." And she began to go into all the reasons. She talked of the way her people had suffered as a result of her mother's decisions when she controlled the Grey Forest. She talked of the suspicion. And there was the very real sense that nobody would be welcoming wood nymphs again after they threw in with the _Lich_. Finn stopped her with a softly worded reply, "I know, E." Brushing his fingers across her cheek, he said, "these names that got hung on us... They're in the way of what we want. I know you'd be here if you could, but you have a world that needs you too. Babe, I'll be waiting right here for you when you're able to come back to us." Standing on her toes, she gave him a heated kiss before swiftly walking away. Of all the things Glob could do for a man, love seemed like the worst of them. Squaring up, he turned to go and meet with the others.

Breakfast was congratulating Cherry when Finn walked into the council room. Just like always, BP didn't get it. He knew exactly what she was thinking. Honestly, he feared that they all were thinking it. He would just turn the war-machine on Wildberry and company, smash them and their kingdoms, and that would be the end of it. Striding into the middle of the room, Finn said, "alright, listen up. We need to plan, and I need everybody's hearts in this." The entire group of women squared up and turned to face him.

"We need to pool our resources," said Finn. "Between all of the kingdoms gathered here, we have twenty-thousand troops. Breakfast stepped forward and said, "we have the war-machine! We don't have to fear anything they have! They don't have a prayer!" "We're not going to do it, BP," sighed Finn. Breakfast frowned at him. Shaking his head, Finn told her, "my first act as King isn't going to be siccing Rattleballs and his guys on the people of Ooo. If I do that, it gives Wildberry exactly what she wants. She wants to show how these weapons would be used against _us_ instead of aliens..." Bonnie's mouth came open, and again she was reminded of how _mature_ he'd become. It hardly seemed that long ago that he would have gleefully hurled the battle-droids against his enemies and laughed the whole way through like he was on a grand lark.

Calmly, Finn said, "we'll send Fionna to evacuate Cocoa City. It's going to be a battlefield in short order. We'll move every person. They don't get a choice. Women and children first. No furniture. No possessions. Nothing but their bodies. We just need them safe." Turning to Bonnie, Finn said, "I'm going to deploy the Banana Guard, Peebles. I'm... A lot of them are going to die." "I know, Finn," sighed the princess. It was an unhappy consequence of the choices they had jointly made, and, much like the aftermath of the Lich-War, this wasn't going to get sorted out by Finn just rushing in and taking charge like he was some kind of warrior-god. This was going to require very real work to get sorted. Bonnie prayed as she'd never prayed before that this could all be fixed and the strife swept under the rug.

Breakfast Princess, who'd stood staring at Finn as if transfixed, now cussed him, screeching at him in sharp tones. "I signed on to this shit because I wanted protection," she howled! "I didn't sign on to be a fucking target! You stupid bitches promised me that we'd have defenses! Now you want to just put the weapons we sacrificed for up on a _shelf_?! You're fucking crazy! I should never have agreed to this!" Hands twisted in her own hair, the frustrated princess stormed out, leaving the others staring after her in surprise. Not that Finn let them stare for long.

"Ragnhild," he said. "I need Billy. I need him organizing the troops we have." The pale princess pondered that a moment. She was well into pregnancy, and she didn't relish losing her very new husband. At the same time, this was life-or-death, and she knew Wildberry didn't plan on sparing any of them. "Alright," she sighed. Moving on, Finn the King began to school them on exactly what they were going to do, when they would do it, and how they were going to get it all done. Then he sent them away to implement his orders.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22:

"I don't have anybody in there," muttered Sugarlump. "The one or two guys I had got kicked out when they wouldn't swear to be man-bitches for one of those whores." The Matriarch had purged the forest of all the gangsters, slackers, and hangers-on. Nobody with the will and want to harm the nymphs was left inside the barrier. They might have had a little more success if they'd scouted ahead like Sugarlump had suggested. Instead, they'd rushed the army in there and gotten their butts kicked. The angry princess turned to Blargetha, who said, "it would do massive amounts of damage to my army to force the gates. We could do it, but it would be costly. It's not worth it." "You're voted down, dearie," growled Maja. "We're moving on."

Irritated, Wildberry said, "then what's next! I want as many of those bitches as we can get. I want to punish them all. Who's next?!" Flipping through her logs, the half-nymph rumbled, "got some guys in Breakfast Kingdom. They're down in the capitol. They got an in with the guards. We can get the gates open unopposed." "Then that's where we strike," said Maja. "It will be our first real test and our first real kingdom." "Rumor has it," said Marjorie, "that Breakfast Princess has bailed on the pink-one. We won't get any interference from there. We can hit them hard, get in through the gates in the night, and have the castle before that bitch even knows what hit her." "Perfect," said Maja. "We'll move tonight."

Meanwhile, in Cocoa City, Fionna the Human Girl scanned the distant forest with a telescope in a state of nervous anticipation. Fruit-face was in there somewhere. That was _her_ kingdom, and it was within spitting distance of the city. She remembered her dad's anxiety as they'd driven up through here on their way to the Grey Forest, and now she understood it a little better. Ironically, sourberry had never been one of the 'princesses-that-irritated-Fionna's-moms'. She was one of the few who hadn't been trying to get in Finn the Human's shorts, and so she wasn't one of the ones antagonizing Simone and/or Emeraude Mertens. Fionna had been cool with the berry-person, even if Wildberry had sometimes seemed a little _distant_. Now Fionna called a lot of those irritating women 'mom' and sourberry wanted to smash the pack of them. And Fionna was standing in their way.

"We're behind," muttered Lina. The Grid-Face person had been overseeing the movement of the pack of civilians out of this place, and she'd been the one dealing directly with the angry shopkeeps, the unhappy landowners, and anxious citizens. She'd been doing it because Fionna had come close to punching out the first idiot shopkeep she encountered when he suggested that she ought to be focused on keeping the enemy out of their fair city rather than on moving everyone. Unfortunately, they didn't have the troops to defend the city, and they didn't really have the troops to move everyone quickly and efficiently. Fionna was caught in an unpleasant trap.

They could put all the troops into the job of moving the citizenry, but that risked having the sourberry come out behind them and just roll up the refugee caravan. Or they could put the bare minimum into the move in favor of maintaining some sort of tripwire to slow Wildberry. Trouble was that the forces they had couldn't stand up to Wildberry's army even if Fionna threw them all in. Oh, Lina had some ideas they could use to slow the enemy down, but that was all they would be doing. Slowing the enemy down.

Fionna remembered her father trying to talk Bonnie _out_ of building so far out. He'd tried to argue in favor of keeping the Candy Kingdom's new cities closer in where he could defend them better. Bonnie had been intent on expanding the numbers of Candy People by the tens of thousands. In the end, she'd expanded the numbers to the tune of six-hundred-thousand souls. There were six-hundred-thousand candy-people scattered across the grasslands and into the wastelands around them. Six-hundred-thousand defended by less than six-thousand troops. And those troops were mostly useless. Bonnie had insisted that Cocoa City would be a trading-hub–that it would be just as valuable for Wildberry, the nymphs of the Grey Forest, the slime-people, and the breakfast people. It had become just that, with breakfast people, berry-folk, and slime-people passing through on a daily basis. Unfortunately, that meant there was a lot of valuable tax money flowing out of the place–money that Fionna was sure berry-puss wanted.

"Did your boyfriend get out of here with the money," she asked? They'd emptied all the banks. Lina flushed. She was still a little awkward about having people know she'd taken up with Fionna's lieutenant, Pedersen. The Froyo-dude had been bangin' the cyborg girl like a drum for months now, so Fionna didn't see what the big deal was. They were shacked up in the Candy Kingdom anyway. Who was going to see? After a moment, Lina grinned and sad, "yeah. He's... He headed west with the cash. He should be there by morning. He's planning to scout ahead and see how bad conditions are going to be. Should be aces given the season..." It would have been if they weren't seeing a few after-effects of the Lich's ice-island. It was still a little colder this summer than usual, and sometimes they saw ice on the roads at night. Nodding, Fionna said, "I'm'a go out and look around on the border. You work on getting the peeps moving a little faster."

The pair headed off to their separate pieces of the pie. Fionna went out, got in her truck, and headed off to the border. On her way there, Patrick called to check up on her. They were doing better there. Most evenings, Fionna spent over an hour talking to him by phone, and she'd been known to stay up until they both pretty much _had_ to sleep. Patrick had gotten the job of wrangling some of the wizards who were volunteering to fight Wildberry. He and Betty were juggling Mona with work. Fortunately, Betty had plenty of milk to supply Mona and her aunt Ranna at the same time. Unfortunately, Fi got the discomfort of having her boobies full of milk with nobody to drink it. The pretty blonde girl drove up and down the border, doing her best to give the Wildberry Kingdom the fisheye while she talked things over with her man. Then, after a fruitless few hours looking around, she headed for the camp west of town to check in with her dudes.

As the sun was going down, Breakfast Princess was up, pacing in a fury in her throne room while her two sisters looked on in concern. They'd never seen the eldest of the three in the state she was in now. Strudel, who was youngest of the three sat in a natty brown dress filing at her fingernails and looking irritated. She'd warned Breakfast against crawling into bed with Bonnie Bubblegum. She'd wanted to build their army up a little and maybe even augment things with some good mercenaries. Instead, her idiot sister had spent the last twenty years getting ever-cozier with the candy-monarch, while the rest of the princesses got ever farther away from her. And now they were in a bind. They hadn't spent any money building up the army. They had precious few troops and no modern weapons at all. The only thing they had going for them was the walls of the city.

Toast, characteristically, looked _bored_ of all this. She was _bored_ in the face of a disaster of epic proportions. All the fucking she'd done over the years–banging anything with a heartbeat and a dick–had softened her brains, and she couldn't seem to manage mustering any sort of alarm over any of this. Her idiot husband, Cuckold-in-Waiting Moules-Frites, just stood there at her side fidgeting as if he was wondering when he could get back to his video games. Flamand wasn't much better. Characteristically, he was thinking only of solidifying his hold over his place. He wanted to know what was going to happen if his wife was deposed.

"We're not getting deposed," growled Strudel! Jabbing her nail-file at her big sister, she said, "you're going to call Wildberry and apologize, Breakfast. You're going to do it tomorrow." "She won't take my calls," muttered Breakfast. She'd been calling almost nonstop since she got home. "Then leave a message," said Strudel. "Tell her you'd like to meet. Somewhere neutral like... like Engagement-Ring Kingdom. Meet her there, apologize, make some concessions, and declare yourself neutral." "That could be fun," said Toast. "We could head out tomorrow." Strudel swore at her. All the bitch was thinking about was find some musclebound imbecile and having a taste of his sausage! It helped not at all that Strudel was basically still a virgin, and Toast was entirely too willing to remind her of that fact.

As the three princesses swore at each other, the Seneschal came rushing in, his face contorted in a look of utter terror. "Milady," he shouted! "Milady!" "What now," growled Strudel? Breakfast had picked this insipid idiot, and he was as likely to quaver in fear at a lightning storm as do anything particularly constructive. Strudel spent the majority of her time fixing his many mistakes and keeping the palace from sinking in a mound of red-ink due to her sisters' spendthrift ways. "There are soldiers pouring into the city," howled Gaufre! "There's hundreds of them!" The bickering stopped right there, and every face there stared at him in terror.

"We must flee," howled Flamand! Strudel shushed him. Striding up to Gaufre, she snarled, "if this is a joke or an error, I'm going to stretch your scrawny neck. Now. Report. Calmly." "There are thousands of humanoids coming through the south gate. I-I don't know how... The gates were supposed to be shuttered hours ago!" "Sabotage," muttered Strudel. It had to be. Breakfast had never been all that interested in having an intelligence service. She most often paid Agent Princess for the services of her endless array of rogues and spies–and then promptly ignored whatever they reported if it wasn't favorable. In the mean-time, just about every kingdom on Ooo had spies inside Breakfast Kingdom. Apparently someone had bribed the guards at the south gate.

The news of their ruination paralyzed both older sisters, who promptly lost all capacity to deal with the problem. They fell into bickering as their two idiot husbands stared or paced in panic. They were Royals. They hadn't known anything else for most of their lives. What were they going to do? Where could they flee to? In the breech where the two eldest sisters were completely lost, Strudel moved in and did her best to organize what little army they had. She got their loyal troops in position, guarding key passages in the town and personally took control of the reserve.

In the end, though, the enemy was too numerous and too well armed. Without the outer walls to hold them, they simply forced their way through the city's warren of dwellings and hidden passages, outflanked the Breakfast Guard, and breached the palace gates. Blargetha came strolling in at the head of her troops with an angry, resigned Strudel in tow. "Well," muttered the youngest sister, "looks like you've buggered us proper, sisters. Now we're for it." Breakfast, who stood now in front of her throne, tried bluster.

"Y-you've violated the Peace of Ooo," she howled! "You have no right to do this!" Blargetha laughed at her. The slime-woman laughed and laughed and laughed as if she'd just heard an extraordinarily funny joke. Wiping at her eyes, she said, "but you broke it first when you signed on to help Bonnie build her machines. You're a fool, Breakfast. Orzsebet told me everything about it." Breakfast's jaw came unhinged, as she realized that Agent Princess had taken money to spy on _her_! "Take her," said Blargetha. Two of the nasty humanoids stepped forward. "Y-you can't do this," howled Breakfast! "I-I'm a princess!" And she kept right on saying that until the two had hold of either arm. As Strudel rolled her eyes in disgust, her sister pissed herself in terror–which only served to entertain the thugs as they dragged her and Toast away.

Blargetha turned to the youngest sister and said, "well, Strudel... How did that feel?" "Strangely satisfying," muttered the youngest princess. Blargetha nodded, as she ascended the dais before Breakfast's throne. Her finger stroked the arm of the chair, reminding the youngest of the three breakfast princesses. "We need food," she said. "My army needs food, and I understand that you've been hoarding food here." "My sisters liked their parties," muttered Strudel. When Bonnie's robot-surrogate figured out the solution for the food situation during the winter, the two older sisters had promptly begun hoarding instead of easing the shortages–which endeared them not at all to their citizens. Blargetha looked the youngest sister in her blue-eyes and said, "you're bright, Strudel. I... understand you. I know what it's like to have an older sister who's an idiot."

Strudel, for her part, stared back at her. What did she mean? "Oh, come now, Strudel," Blargetha said. "Those two couldn't keep their legs closed. They got rammed more times than a castle door in Warrior Kingdom. Eating and fucking seemed to be all they were good for. My sister was only good at dancing until all hours. Our two kingdoms can prosper without them, and I need an ally I can trust. That could be you, if you play your cards right." "And the alternative," asked Strudel?

With a shrug, Blargetha said, "you'll be imprisoned like your sisters. I don't want to frighten you, but Wildberry isn't a very nice jailor..." Voice grim, Strudel asked, "you won't..." "Hurt them," asked Blargetha? "No. We won't truly hurt them. But they may get a little thin in the belly now. Soldiers get to eat first in a war." "And my people," asked Strudel? "Form no army, and your army's share can go to your peeps," replied Blargetha. "Do our bidding. Open the warehouses. Support our armies, and you'll be fine. What do you say?" "Done," said Strudel, as she extended a hand. The two women shook on it.

Morning found Finn the King coming slowly awake in Bonnie's bed. The nights were starting to be a little much. He would have to put them on a rotation if they were all going to be present at one time. Disengaging Cherry's arms from his waist and easing Bonnie's head off his shoulder, he carefully edged out of bed. It took a bit to muster the energy to get up to wash. When he finally did, he tip-toed out of the room and out to Bonnie's parlor to use the guest-bathroom. Shutting the door on the pair, he began the turn only to find another annoying personage sitting there in Bonnie's favorite chair.

Princesses. He was getting sick of them. "A one man orgy," opined Agent Princess. "Orzsebet," he greeted his visitor. "Remind me to hunt down the agent who let you in here and kick his ass." Primly, the beautiful woman sat back in Bonnie's chair, acting as though it was a throne, and said, "I came to offer you my services. The least you can do is..." "I'm not really interested in paying you," Finn interrupted. Brown eyes flashing, her pale-blue skin gone flushed, Agent Princess glared at him and said, "if you think that little trollop holds a candle to what I can do with my network..." "But Cherry's actually _loyal_ to me and not to whoever pays the most, Orze," Finn retorted.

Her hands clenched the arms of Bonnie's chair, and he found himself remembering how angry she could get. After he stopped her from blowing up an underworld casino she felt had cheated her, she'd tried to make his life hell for more than a year until he'd caught up with her and beat her ass. Princesses. Yes, he was getting rather sick of them. "This is how this works, Orze," said Finn, as he strode towards her. "I'm King of Ooo. You work for me, and you pay taxes on the proceeds of spying. Those taxes get put into a fund to take care of all the little people you neglect in your miserable excuse for a kingdom." She shot to her feet, eyes flashing in rage, but Finn didn't back down.

"You're still a rather persuasive man," she breathed. They were sharing breath right now, and he couldn't help remembering the way she'd tried to tempt him last time. It was one of the reasons he'd ended up putting her over his knee. She'd gotten really, _really_ pissed when her feminine wiles didn't work on him and tried to knife him in the balls. Today was no different. As she was teasing his face with her hot breath, her hand was closing on an empty knife-sheathe. The big man held the knife up in front of her face, hurled it into the handiest wall, then picked her up by the scruff and threw her out, saying, "I don't like being spied on. Fuck off until you learn some manners." As she gathered herself to her feet, she snarled at him, "Breakfast Kingdom's fallen! One of your precious friends is either dead or imprisoned! Hope you like watching them all get raped!" Finn barely had to take a step towards her before she was in full flight down the hall.

When he came back inside, he found Cherry and Bonnie standing in the doorway of the bedroom dressed in sheets. "Orzsebet," replied Finn, as he headed for the bathroom. He didn't explain. He shut the door in their faces. They had the master bath anyway. He needed some rest. Sitting on the toilet, he ran the water in the sink to wash his face. Baba Yaga's avatar coalesced out of the water. "Hey, T," he greeted her. "Reminds me of that KGB Kommisar that tried to seduce me," opined the Rusalka. "What happened," asked Finn? "My aunt drowned him in the Lena," replied the witch. "Our agreement with the Party was that the Kommisars would leave us alone if we didn't interfere in their business." Mostly they'd kept their end of the bargain. Mostly.

"What's up," Finn asked? "Your son is a pig, and I'm not happy with you," she said. "Sorry, T," he sighed. "I..." "Needed a favor," she muttered. "This is becoming sort of one-sided, tovarish." "You and I both know what needs to be done here, T," he said. "What did you really come for?" He could imagine the witch flushing. He did note the pause in her response. "Finn," she said. "This will end poorly. I urge you to reconsider what you're doing." "Don't have a choice, T," he sighed. "This... got forced on _me_ , remember?" She knew. She'd abstained from that vote. "There is another witch active," she said. "A strong one. She used to live to the east of my lands until the Japs chased her away. I believe she called herself Maja..." Finn shot to his feet. "Maja's alive," he howled?!

Talia tittered at him. The big man belatedly covered his parts up. Nodding, she said, "Maja is very dangerous, Finn." Nodding, he said, "I know it. I defeated her years ago. I thought she was dead. I... guess I just have to kill her again." The Rusalka cussed him, which sort of made him laugh. Her expression was bleak when he got done laughing. "I'm gonna' be ok, T," he said. "Remember what you said to Fionna? Just a bad run on the dice. I'm gonna' be here to do whatever big favor you need." "If you don't," she snapped, "I'll journey to hell and kick your ass." And then she left as quick as she'd come. Finn sighed. He needed to drop in on Jake too. He needed to see his bro and maybe some of his nieces and nephews. Just in case.

This was the part that sucked. Hurting the people he loved in the way he had the least control over. He didn't control this, and he knew it. He could be taken away from them at any moment in this game, and he reflected on that as he washed. Coming out of the bathroom wearing just a towel, he found Bonnie and Cherry sitting at the table, still wearing the bedsheets as if they hadn't gone to wash at all. Orzsebet's knife was on the table between them, and their expressions... bothered him. "No biggee," he said. "She came by to stick her fingers in my eye and try to get us to pay her for her services." "What did she mean about Breakfast," asked Bonnie? With a heavy sigh, Finn said, "I don't know if it's true or not, Peebles. I intend to find out. Today. I just want to go and talk to Jake..."

The vile recriminations started immediately, with both women turning on the water all at once. _Shouldn't have said that,_ he decided. He'd been too transparent about that last time. Putting on a stern face, he said, "I haven't seen my brother in _months_ , remember? You guys exiled me! Can't I go see my brother just for five minutes before going to work?" That shut the pair of them up. Finn came to the table and said, "I'm pretty sure BP's forted up in her city... I'll send somebody out to check..." "I'll call her," said Bonnie. "Why don't you go and see Jake? We can talk when you get back." Which pretty much said she was going to go get the others, and he'd be getting a beating. _Why did I do this to myself,_ he thought?

Without a further word, he went and got dressed. As he exited Bonnie's bedroom, he found Bonnie alone. Sounds of flowing water from the guest room told him Cherry was in the shower. "Orzsebet doesn't lie, Finn," said Bonnie. "It's not good for her business..." "Orzsebet _does_ exaggerate," Finn replied, "and she leaves shit out too. While I'm gone, Cherry is to get started digging up information on what Maudie, Bathilde, and Yolanda are doing. Also get somebody out to Aysun's place. Both sides are going to need cash, and she's hungry for influence." "It's... uh... going to be this way, huh," she asked? It took a moment. Calmly, he said, "you're my wife, babe, but you now work for _me_ , remember? I'm still me. I don't shout at girls, and I'd just as soon you guys do what you do." "But you won't hesitate either," sighed Bonnie. "Yeah," he said. Rising, she kissed his rough lips and said, "be careful, honey. We're lost without you." And then she went to wash.

Out at Cocoa City, Fionna was in the middle of washing when Lieutenant Pedersen of all people came bursting into her room. "Wait, wha," stammered the blonde? "What're you _doing_ here?" And she didn't mean standing in her room, staring at her boobs either. "There's an army south and west of here," he said. "We're cut off." Fionna's jaw hung. "Ran into them last night," said the Froyo-Person. They were on the road from Breakfast Kingdom. They had better and faster vehicles than I had, but they were more interested in cutting the road than in chasing me." Nudity forgotten, Fionna began to pace, cussing and muttering under her breath. Lina was still putting together the caravan to get the civilians out of here! They were boned!

Fionna told her lieutenant to go out and gather her team together. She needed time to think. When he'd gone, she sat down on the bed to think this through. Her mind tried to conjure up a plan to get the people of the city out of this mess. Every time she'd been in a spot like this, she'd been able to come up with _something_ , even if it was hair-brained. Today, her mind went to Patrick and Mona and got _stuck_. She found herself going in an unpleasant orbit at ever-increasing speeds. She'd worry about her baby and then bounce back to Bonnie's peeps and then worry over Patrick. As she was completing the sixth or seventh such orbit, the pretty blonde got up and went over to her bag. Rummaging inside, she came up with Patrick's gift.

As she popped open the little jewel-case, her heart asked the question. Should she? She'd never needed to be focused more than this. At the same time, she wasn't ready to give up who she was. That's what it felt like. A lot of her troubles with Patrick came from feeling like she was losing her grip on her own self-image. Whenever she found herself in a jam like this, she always thought of her dad and how he would have managed. _And dad doesn't cry or whinge about when bad stuff's happening or when he's got to do things,_ she thought.

While she was staring at the little gem, knocking announced that her dudes had arrived. It was time to fish or cut bait. "You need to grow up," she thought. "This isn't you and Patrick being mad, Fi. This is a whole bunch of Bonnie's peeps who need you." With a heavy-hearted sigh, she said goodbye to the old Fionna–the comfortable old face–and hello to a new world as she placed the strange thing against her temple. There was a moment's sharp pain that made her head swim.

The door opened in front of Lina, who'd come up to fetch her boss after kicking her boyfriend in the shins for being a lech. Fionna came out dressed in the formal uniform that her stepmother had stitched up for her, looking the business in a long blue dress that went almost to her ankles. The strange tiara that reminded Lina of the boss's trademark bunny-ears had her almost wanting to look for a cotton-tail as Fionna passed her in the hall. "Move out with all the people you've got gathered today," said Fionna. "Take them north and east. We're moving them to the Grey Forest." Lina stared at her back as Fionna headed for the stairs down. "Today, Lina," said Fionna, "this very hour. There's no time to waste."

Fionna found Pedersen and Steel in the tiny headquarters, waiting, along with the mayor and a couple of other people. "You're moving to the Grey Forest," she told the mayor. "Lina will begin the move within the hour. You don't have much time, so I'd not waste it on hectoring me over a decision that won't change." The mayor and the chief of the city council goggled at her, but one of Steel's dudes took both by the scruff and dragged them out. The top-banana asked, "what we doin', boss?" "We're fighting a delaying action, Steel," replied Fionna. Moving to the map, she said, "deploy the guns on the heights here with the carriages ready to go. We're going to bloody them up when they come to take the city. They think we're focused north. The stones tell me there's no-one there. Our threat's coming from the south and west."

Nobody questioned as their leader laid out how they would fight the escape from Bonnie's city. Instead, they took notes. Their leader seemed to be neglecting some very important pieces of the job, but they all knew Fionna's quality. If she said she had it covered, then they would listen and believe. In just twenty minutes, she had the whole business laid out, and Pedersen was on his way to the defense line south of the city. When her dudes were gone, Fionna found a quiet corner of the office, plucked a small pile of pebbles from her pocket, and let the crystals in her body speak.

In the capitol, Finn found his brother at TV's place. Older, fatter, and only a little wiser, Jake the Dog was enjoying life as top mailman of the Candy Kingdom. TV looked to be doing much better after his ordeal at the hands of Kim and Trudy's goons. The older brother greeted the younger with a hearty, "hey, man!" Finn gave his brother a fist-pound before hugging him. "How ya been, man," Jake asked? "Good," Finn lied. "You make up with Lady, yet?" Jake glared at him. That was a joke in poor taste. They weren't speaking, and Jake was happier that way. He didn't say it to TV, but getting married was his worst deal. Ever.

Moving on, Jake asked him what he was up to. By now, Pearl had come out of the bedroom, but she didn't look dressed for work. Seeing where his eyes were going, Jake asked, "don't you get enough, man?" Ignoring the jab, Finn asked Pearl, "how're you girls doing?" Flushing, Pearl admitted, "we were all a little scared to go back." Frowning, Finn put it on his list of stuff to get fixed. To Jake, he said, "let's step outside..." He didn't wait for Jake's answer. When Jake finally came out, the big man said, "I want you, Lady, and the pups to move to TFTP's place..." It was the out of the blue that Jake had become all too familiar with. Finn made pronouncements like that the way Bonnie used to. He didn't explain. He just expected to be obeyed.

He had a host of thoughts on how they could make it work. Lady and the pups could live with her folks. Jake could maybe rent a room. He never said why. Really Jake _knew_ why. "This is home, Finn," Jake said. "Whatever PB's draggin' you through... Lady and I... our lives are here. I got grandkids, man. KKW ain't leavin' his businesses, Finn." The big man nodded. Leaning over the balcony, Jake cut a foul one, then asked, "what's really going on?" "Wildberry's out to kill Peebles, Jake...," Finn replied. "It's like that thing with the treasure all over again." Jake stared at him in surprise. "She wants to turn Ooo upside down to hurt Bonnie," Finn explained. "And she's willing to run over me to get there. Pearl... Pearl and TV got caught up in things the other night at Riley's place... I want you to think about hiding out for a while." "What," asked Jake? "You don't think I can take care o'myself... take care o'my pups, man?" "No," said Finn. "I don't want you to go through the hell I've been in worrying about them. This shit's eating me up, Jake." "Then why'n't _you_ go," Jake asked?

Finn rolled his eyes. "I'm _married_ to PB, Jake," he reminded the stretchy-dog. "I married her. I married Nadia. I'm married to half a dozen princesses, and they all have kingdoms to run. Marshall, Billy, and Bon are married to princesses who either run kingdoms or stand to inherit one." He couldn't get away even if he tried. He had no choices left. He had to stand here and fight. "Anyways," said Finn. "I just wanted to make sure TV'n Pearl were ok..." Finn had that soul-searchy look that always gave Jake the willies. He was about to speak on that, when Finn's phone rang. Absently, the big man picked up his phone and said, "go."

Lollipop's voice came through the speaker, and she had shocking news. "Breakfast Kingdom's fallen, Finn," said his wife. "Bonnie's got the Privy Council in a meeting, and she needs you back here as soon as you can get here." "I'll be there," he said. "Warn Fionna, if you haven't already." Turning to Jake as he hung up, the big man said, "it's going to be ugly here, Jake. I don't think I can stop Wildberry's army before she reaches Candy-Town." That was as much as he could tell Jake. Anything more would be more likely to make him go stubborn than anything else. Striding back across TV's living room, he wished his nephew and niece-in-law well, and got on his way.

As he made his way through the streets of the Candy Kingdom, he talked with Star about getting defenses in place at Candy-Town, just in case. If sourberry did what he would have done, she'd be west of Cocoa City and threatening Fionna's dudes right now. He'd given his eldest daughter a helluva job. She had to empty a city with tens of thousands of Bonnie's typically flighty citizens in it. She'd had to do it in little time at all, and she had to get them at least as far west as Candy-Town. Now he thought the idea was hopeless from the start. This was starting to look less like sacrifice and more like suicide. I'm ok, Star," he said. "Thinking." They needed those troops. As soon as they could get here.

Fionna was doing some calculations of her own as she strode out onto the battlefield west of Cocoa City. Bonnie had at least listened and let Finn site the town on a high point in the land, though the environs of the city had quickly outgrown that hill. Still and all, she had the high-ground. Sourberry's dudes would have to come uphill to get to her.

The Froyo-dudes' guns were laid out and ready. Dust and smoke in the distance announced the enemy was coming.

The caravan was in motion. The citizens were stumbling along half in a panic, but they were moving. City busses would carry the first wave at far as the forest. Then they'd turn around and meet the refugees in the wilderness to grab the next batch. If none of the busses broke down, they would have the bulk of them moved by nightfall. She just had to keep sourberry at bay that long. Fortunately she had an edge.

Patrick's gift and Princess Cowtits with her nanobugs had inspired her. She needed Steel and his dudes to fight like tigers, and she now had a way to manage that. As the fellas had marshaled for breakfast, their general slipped a surprise into each bowl of breakfast porridge. She had told each of her pebbles what to do. Now, as she watched her bananas out of the corner of her eye, a strange reaction made its way through the crowd. Steel stood up and, in a clear firm voice that held none of his usual fear, said, "let's roll, fellas. Our people need us to win." Hefting his rifle, he set out with the rest of his men in tow. Fionna sighed. She didn't like doing that, but Bonnie had kept them all as children much too long. It was time they grew up too.

The enemy took a few hours to close the gap, and Fionna quickly learned why. Her scouts brought her warnings that most of the enemy force was foot-soldiers like hers. That meant they were limited to the speed a man could travel. More ominous were the machines. Sprinkled in at the rear of the pack were hulking greenish-grey blobs that looked to have been designed and built for war. It didn't take much to realize that Wildberry had chosen to shatter the Peace of Ooo beyond repair. Shit was about to get real.

The pretty blonde turned to her artillery, ordering them to lay down a barrage across the enemy's line of advance and then pause. She wanted to give the other side fair warning before she started laying into them. Much as she'd hoped, they did stop, and she could see them having a bit of an argument over whether or not they were really coming up. Fionna the Glass Mage took the time to move her cannons somewhere else. It was a trick she'd learned from her dad and grampa. Don't stay still. Keep moving as if your life depended on it.

In short order, the decision got made down below, and the enemy started up again. Now Fionna let them get well within the deadly zone. And when they did, she gave Pedersen his head. The Froyo-person began to liquidate the bandits and thugs Wildberry had assembled with prejudice, blasting them to pieces there before the eyes of her guys. It was a sight that, once-upon-a-time, would have horrified some of the candy-people to the point where they might well have exploded themselves from the sheer horror. Between the hardening they'd gotten at the Lich Containment and the 'special sauce' she'd slipped into their soup, the bananas did fine.

Still and all, there was rather a lot of the enemy. Each time she paused to move her guns out of harm's way, the enemy took the chance to advance. The candy-people got pushed back and back and then back again. Slowly but surely they got pushed up the hill. Fionna kept one eye on the distance to the town and one ear out for what Lina was doing. Across the morning, Lina's busses picked up and dropped off thirty-thousand souls, leaving them at the doorstep of the Grey Forest. As the clock struck noon, Fionna's phone rang. When she checked, it was her stepmom. "Hi," she said. "Fionna," growled Emeraude. "What the fuck? Your robo-babe just dropped another ten-thousand on my doorstep! Are you planning to move everybody in Cocoa City here?!" "Don't have a choice, momma," said Fionna. "Don't blow a fuse, 'kay? We're stuck. Sourberry's dudes are between us and home." There was silence on the other end of the line.

"Mom," Fionna murmured. "You there." "Just wrapping my head around that, Fi," sighed Emeraude. "I'm sorry, momma," said the blonde. "I only found out this morning. Dad's probably just finding out himself. I... I gotta' go." "Be careful, Fi," murmured the wizard. "Get here as soon as you can." As she closed the connection, the older woman hit her stepdaughter with a zinger, "don't leave me wrangling these idiots by myself, ok?"

Sliding her phone back in her pocket, the pretty blonde general took a good look at what she was dealing with. They had whittled the numbers back significantly, but they were still outmatched. It was time to go all in if she wanted to finish the evacuation. Walking down the hill into the no-man's land–ignoring the shouts of her dudes–Fionna Mertens-Petrikov sat down on the green-grass, put her hands on the ground, and felt the comforting call of the crystals beneath her. Reaching out to the mother earth, she pulled and twisted, reshaping the land the way she needed it to be. As the enemy troops stared in shock, a broad and deep trench, eight feet deep and eight across began to form, as the ground subsided in a rough semi-circle closing off the city from their advance and even splitting the highway.

On the other side of the trench, the enemy commander scowled at what he was seeing. He'd been admonished not to commit the war-machines too quickly, but this hadn't gone anything like what had been promised. The Candy-People should have been pushovers. His humanoid troops should have been able to close with the insipid bananas and finish them off. Instead, the enemy had fought tenaciously and kept his men at bay for most of the day. It was clear that he wouldn't be able to win this cheaply. It was time to go all in.

Fionna was waiting with baited breath for what her foe was going to do. Now she saw the heavy war-machines coming forward alongside the soldiers that had tried to assault them earlier. Her guns laid into them, trying to smash the war-machines, but this wasn't anything like Pedersen and his dudes were used to. The machines moved swiftly, and they were hardened against the cannon. The machines rolled up on the trench and, just as swiftly, rolled across the trench like wriggling caterpillars. She was proud of her dudes in that moment. They held their ground, crouched down there before the enemy, and waited as the foot-soldiers dropped into the trench and then began to climb back out again. Steel and his dudes laid into them, killing a few score of them right there at the trench.

 _But they keep on coming,_ she thought. Just like on the island, these guys didn't know when to quit. They kept right on coming up that hill. She'd shown a bit of her power. Now it was time to show a bit more. Concentrating, she sent stone pillars shooting up out of the ground. Miss. Miss. Miss. _There_ , she thought, almost squealing in delight as one of her pillars came very close to overturning one of the heavy war-machines. That _finally_ got her opponent's attention. In short order, the war-machines were in full retreat, leaving the men he'd sent across the trench to fend for themselves. Fionna didn't hesitate to send them packing too with stinging bits of jagged rock skewering unprotected feet and her dudes launching ferocious vollies of crossbow, dart-gun, and cannon fire at them.

The enemy fell back, moving back well away from the city that was their prize. The field was hers. For now. Fionna rose to go look in on Lina and the evacuation, leaving orders to call her if there was movement. She planned to get a feel for how much longer things were going to take. Then she was going to call her mom to let the older woman know she was alright. And then she was going to call Patrick.

Late that night, as Fionna was having dinner and talking to her husband, Breakfast Princess sat up in the crude dungeon cell she'd been thrown into to find Wildberry at the door. Wildberry, who she'd once considered a friend, had dispossessed her of her home and rank. Wildberry had dragged her out of her own palace and imprisoned her in this dank, miserable pile of stones. She wanted to say that she didn't understand it and didn't know why her former friend would do this, but she knew the truth.

"Who is she," growled Wildberry? "I-I don't understand," stammered Breakfast. Wildberry Princess strode up and backhanded her. "Who-is-that-fucking-witch-that-smashed-a-third-of-my-army," snarled Wildberry as she slapped Breakfast again and again and again. Sobbing, the fallen princess pleaded with her tormentor, telling her over and over that she hadn't any idea who or what she meant. "Is it that fucking Baba Yaga," demanded Wildberry?! "I need to know..." "Sh-she went home," stammered Breakfast. "I swear it. W-we were all mad at him for letting her just go home..." "I don't believe you," growled Wildberry. Turning to the man at the door, she coolly said, "they can do what they want to the other one. Let this one listen a while. Then ask again." Breakfast was on her feet now, asking what she meant by that, but Wildberry wasn't listening.

The evil berry left then, heading back out the way she'd come in. Shortly thereafter, Breakfast heard Toast's voice, pleading with someone. "Toast," howled the fallen princess! "Glob, _no_! Don't hurt my sister! Please... I-I'll do anything..." The evil soldier laughed in her face, saying, "but you stink and need a bath. Nobody wants to do you. Maybe if you tell the boss what she wants, they won't get too rough..."


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23:

"You do realize that torture brings unreliable information, dearie," asked Maja? To Blargetha's ears, she might have been discussing the weather instead of the hours of abuse Toast Princess had suffered. Wildberry was irritated. She had executed her grand plan to cut off the Banana Guard and destroy it. And the strategy had been an utter failure. All because of Bonnie's phantom Royal. "I doubt it was _her_ , dearie," said Maja. "She doesn't leave home for anything short of an emerency. Rumors from the past suggested she was guarding some great treasure. No, there's a new player..." "It's Finn's kid," announced Maudie.

Peanut Princess entered the gathering with a newcomer at her side. Wildberry frowned at the sight of Agent Princess. Nobody trusted that wench! She would as quickly sell a juicy tidbit to your enemies as to you, and if she could sell it to both, so much the better. Seeming to guess at what Wildberry was thinking, Maudie said, "Finn the Human insulted our colleague here. It appears her services are ours..." "...when my fee is paid," muttered Orzsebet. "Done," said Maja. Her eyes suggested Wildberry had better not argue.

"Now," said Maja, "tell me about our foe..." "Fionna the Human Girl," replied the spymaster. "Finn's second child with the Ice Queen." Wildberry had told the witch about mad Simon Petrikov's Creation. "So this child has the spark," murmured Maja. "She is a fool like her father," insisted Maudie. "Just an airhead with a sword." "She's been displaying powers since her husband did some kind of experiment on her...," said the spy. Nodding, Maja said, "I'll need to draw her out... see if she's any good. For now we'll move on Candy-Town with the bulk of the army..."

"That will leave the troops at Cocoa city _behind_ us," Blargetha protested. "We'll put your army in the field," said Maja. Which garnered exactly the reaction expected. Cutting off the argument before it got started, the witch told her, "we didn't let you out for _nothing_. You pull your weight, or you can join your sister." Turning to the newcomer, Maja said, "come along, dearie. You're going to tell me all about this little witch named Fionna..."

Meanwhile, in the Grey Forest, the subject of Maja's dark thoughts stood on the parapet at the southern gate, staring out into the distance at soft clouds of grey smoke. That smoke conjured one image in Fionna's mind. Wildberry's illicit war-machines. They had chased her army for quite a while, though she'd managed to smash two of them in the end. It was only then that the enemy general called it a day. She'd been up much of the night checking and rechecking the accommodations that the Candy People had and arguing with her mother's cabinet over settling them here even temporarily. The nymphs wanted _treasure_. They didn't seem to get the fact that everyone was a target for Wildberry Princess.

In the end, Patrick's gift had started to give her a headache, and she'd been forced to take it off. When the jumble of her thoughts came right back, she'd begged off further argument in favor of coming out here where her troops were feverishly working out ways to mount up Pedersen's cannon. These forts were vulnerable to the war-machines, and Fionna was terrified that those awul things would just plow right on through them. Unfortunately, she was having trouble thinking of something useful to help, so mostly she stayed out of the way.

Emeraude found her stepdaughter there on the parapet and realized that Fionna had been there pretty much the entire night. That wasn't a good thing. Growing generals needed their sleep. Coming up alongside her child, the wizard took a good look at her. The dress looked fetching on Fi. She looked the part of soldier like her dad never had. The golden braiding and flourishes at her collar helped the image. "Mom," yawned Fionna. "Told your dad about the war-machines," she said. "He and Star are going out to try and slow them down before they get too deep into Bonnie's kingdom." Fi yawned again, saying, "that's good."

The wizard frowned at her, saying, "ok. You were starting to sound like your dad last night. What gives?" Blushing, Fionna said, "Patrick's thing-a-ma-bobber starts to hurt after a few hours... I... I took it off. I'm'a put it back in, ok..." When the blonde would have put the stone against her temple, the wizard stopped her, saying, "no. What I want you to do, Fi, is get some sleep. Mom's orders, ok?" Blushing, Fionna nodded. Before she went, she said, "I had them block up the tunnels with buses. That'll make it harder for them to get in. Been trying to figure out how to protect the forts a little better." "It'll wait, Fi," said Emeraude. "We're in good shape. Get some sleep, baby." Standing on her toes, Emeraude hugged the younger woman and sent her on her way. And then it was time for an inspection of the defenses.

As Emeraude Mertens toured the defenses of her homeland, Nadia the Grid-Face Princess sat listening to her cabinet–or rather their _complaints_. They'd burned a fair amount of uranium during the Lich-War, and they were upset to the point of apoplexy at the prospect of spending more of the precious fuel on another valueless exercise in defending other nations' people. The fact that Bonnibel Bubblegum was in the mix just added ore to the fuel-rod.

Did she dig down into it, she understood. This was their legacy. The tons of precious ore stockpiled in their storehouses was the legacy of their ancestors. They were _squandering_ that legacy bit by bit. And what would they do when they ran _out_? Protect their communities with bad words? This was their lifeline! This was what kept their homes from freezing in the dead of a cold northern winter on the steps! Nadia had been here for days trying to build political support to throw in with the man she'd helped elect as King.

Of course that was another sore point with them. They had accused her of thinking with her crotch. They accused her of being so infatuated and besotted with Finn the Human that she'd lost all sense and reason. It was another foolish idea in a string of them, and all of them seemed designed to obstruct and delay doing anything out of pique at what it was costing their people. She wanted to label everything they said as foolish, short-sighted, and closed-minded, and that was doing nothing to help bridge the divide between Princess and Cabinet.

To make matters worse, Tatiana was hungry and having trouble staying quiet in this hall full of angry old men and women. Nadi loved her darling little child and her beautiful, flawless face. From the tips of her dainty little toes to the top of her head, she was a beautiful little thing. Greatly daring, Nadia dragged open the zipper on her protective suit, letting the child fasten its lips to her breast, scandalizing men and women alike. "W-what're you doing," howled Anna Stechkin?! Her Prime Minister had eight children, so she well ought to know, and Nadia said so. "Feeding a baby," said the Princess. "What does it look like? You ought to know, Anna. You've had enough of them."

Scandalized and irritated, old Piotr Yeltsin howled, "p-put down that baby! We're not done talking to you!" "You're done talking _at_ me, Piotr," retorted the tall beauty. "Now _I'm_ going to talk." Coolly, she asked, "Mikhail? Did you finish developing that planetary cloaking device?" "N-no," stammered the chief scientist. "It's power-prohibitive. We'd need to fuel it with anti-protons... You know, this, Your Excellency." Primly, Nadia reminded them, "we would be defenseless without those machines. I will hear no more talk of backing away. Prepare a defensive system to stop Wildberry Princess. I need it within the week." Without a further word, she took her day-bag and her baby and walked out, head high and with no further thought for the recriminations. Sometimes a princess had to act like one.

Elsewhere, Finn the King stood watching as Star's dudes put the finishing touches on field defenses to stop Wildberry's onrushing army. He thought they had a pretty good chance here, judging by Fionna's experiences. Those dudes weren't any better at this than their Banana dudes and Froyo dudes. He expected to bloody them up a bit and convince them to stop. That would maybe let them all convene somewhere neutral and talk this out. He wasn't anxious to continue something that would take countless lives. Ooo had seen enough of that for a while.

While he paced off the length of the defense wall, the big man went over the numbers in his head for the tenth time. He had a couple thousand mixed troops with Froyo-dudes and Bananas in those numbers. The cannons had mostly gone with Fi. In their place, he had Patrick and nearly two-dozen wizards. They were mostly loons out of Wizard City and much less reliable than guns, but Fin had few choices. He had to stop the enemy. Fortunately he had a hole-card up his sleeve. He _knew_ Blargetha very well. She was as cowardly as she was evil. She wouldn't want to lose her precious creations in an all out fight. If they damaged or destroyed enough of them, that would put paid to the offensive.

 _Just one wild-card, buddy,_ he thought. Maja was out there somewhere. She was out there maybe pulling the strings or maybe just helping Wildberry out. Would she jump into things on Blargetha's behalf? Inquiring Finn's wanted to know. If she did, that would swing things in the other direction, possibly catastrophically. And if all of this wasn't enough, he was worried about Cherry. She wasn't taking this at all well. She'd become an emotional wreck when he'd told her that Maja might still be alive, and he was afraid she'd do something rash and put her life at risk.

Smoke announced the machines long before the enemy army arrived. Blargetha's soldiers came marching resolutely along under the blazing summer sun toting spears and crossbows and with a few handfuls of heavier weapons. That was somewhat good news. Finn knew that Wildberry still had a substantial chunk of the fortune he'd lost in her kingdom a long time ago. He'd been afraid that she would have piles of dart-rifles to lavish on her troops while Star's men fought with glorified _sticks_. He _did_ have a few handfuls of rifles, scavenged from the frozen island during the Lich War. There were a few more weapons from Bonnie's rather small arsenal, but this was going to be an affair of men beating on each other with swords. At least it would be if Patrick could keep the war-machines away.

They were back in the van, idling along behind Blargetha's dudes, and looking just as he remembered them. Bonnie had called them 'tanks', though they hardly looked like something you'd store water in. Not that it mattered. Each and every one of them came armed with a powerful cannon capable of devastating the ranks of his troops. Once they got into the fray, the course of the battle would change quickly. Fortunately, their position in the enemy army suggested that he'd guessed right. Blargetha was afraid of losing them. Cowardice would be his salvation.

"Steady, dudes," said Finn, as the enemy grew closer. "Keep it steady." Star readied one of her mother's trademark arrows, getting ready to sling it. Patrick was already changing the conditions of the field to suit them, chilling the air and making the ground slick and damp. It was harder going without the Ice-Crown and in the middle of summer, but he put his all into it. He had a child who was at risk in this and a wife who was in the thick of things herself. "Fire," shouted Finn! Four-hundred men cut loose with bows. Another hundred let loose with dart-guns.

The enemy took heavy casualties in the opening volley, and the defense wall soaked up much of their reply. Instead of charging, the pack of them stayed where they were, hurling spears, shooting bows and their guns, and flailing ineffectually at the walls. It didn't take long though for Blargetha's general to figure out that the wall only went so far. In short order, there were troops trying to bleed around both flanks. Finn sent Star to the right and her lieutenant to the left to stop the breakout, while he hung tough in the center. Slowly, bit by bit, the enemy began to overwhelm them. They had the numbers, and they didn't end up needing the war-machines as they slowly gained ground. Finally Finn gave the orders to fall back. They'd bloodied the enemy and slowed them up. That was what counted.

Across the day, the King of Ooo and his rag-tag army dueled Blargetha's much-larger force, fighting a series of delaying actions across the grasslands. His troops bled the enemy army, leaving more than three-hundred stretched on the ground and many more badly injured across six separate battles over the course of the day. In the end, Blargetha quit chasing them, allowing his force to slip south and west as the sun was headed down in the sky. Sitting on a rock in the middle of a farmer's back yard, the big man found himself reflecting on the way the day had gone. He'd held the line. He'd slowed the advance of Wildberry and her allies to buy time for his own faction to muster their troops. Unfortunately, he still had no idea when Wildberry's wildcard would show itself.

Back in Wildberry Kingdom, the vindictive princess was burning up the floor with her pacing. She was at the limits of her very limited patience, and everybody in the palace walked small, lest they end up getting a death-sentence. All except one. Maja returned just in time for dinner after having been out nearly all of the day. Walking into Wildberry's dining salon at half-past five, she moved to the head of the table, sat herself, and filled a plate with some choice morsels. The sour berry immediately lit into her, shouting about the failures and the need to have more firepower to throw at their enemies. Maja acted as if she couldn't be bothered to listen. Instead, she began picking some of her favorite things out of the meal before her and nibbling at them in contentment. At least she did until Wildberry grabbed her by the collar.

"Be careful, dearie," said the witch. "You know who I am. I'm not one of your cowering servants, remember?" Wildberry seemed to think better of what she'd been about to do. "What's the problem, dearie," asked the witch? "You seem a little vexed." "Those fucking bananas," snarled Wildberry! "We should be at Candy-Town!" Sitting back in her chair, Maja put her feet on the table and said, "you need some patience, sour-patch. The world moves when it wills. We won't win by rushing forward and burning through all our resources. Or had you forgotten those fucking robot guardians?" Wildberry's mouth came open, and she grabbed at her head. "Shit," she howled! "Those fucking monsters could smash both armies without that war-machine! W-we've got to call them back!"

Maja rolled her eyes in disgust. She hadn't seen this much wimpy since the last time she'd played a MMORP. From hero to zero in just a breath. "We're _not_ calling the armies back," growled the witch. "Things are going just the way they're supposed to. We're grinding down the pink-one's army. I expected to destroy the remnant just before Candy-Town to clear our way. That bitch and her boy-toy will get their comeuppance then. In the now, I suggest you enjoy dinner. It's really good."

As if to put an exclamation point on the day, Sugarlump came in at that moment, announcing, "he's with the army. He's right there in the front lines. We've got a chance at him!" Princess and witch gave her their undivided attention. Wildberry thought, _now I can see why the Banana Guard has hung together._ She'd expected the bananas to fold when things got really tough. Finn had seemingly _always_ been the force that kept Bonnie on her throne. It sure as hell wasn't Bonnie's troops.

Maja was focused on the main chance. "I thought he was too quick to take in a fight," she muttered. They had been planning to put the war-machines on him and overwhelm him with explosive shot. Sugarlump said, "only with that sword. If we can get him away from the sword, we've got a shot at killing him. I've activated three agents to steal the Finn Sword. That'll leave him open and able to be slaughtered." The witch frowned at her. This woman had been _sure_ of taking Finn the Human in that bar, and she'd failed. What was so different now? Wildberry did the honors, asking the obvious question, "why would he give up his sword? How would we get it away from him?" "He has to wash," retorted Sugarlump. "Everybody washes."

In the Candy Kingdom, Drew Princess sat working through her case logs, keeping herself busy in spite of the constant worry she was afflicted with. She wasn't supposed to be working at all. She was supposed to be at home resting up after the brutal work of squeezing a baby out of her nether regions. She'd been last, and Finn had been excited to be there at her side. At least he had before people started trying to butcher the folk he cared about. First had come his self-exile. Then had come the burgeoning war that was lighting off in various corners of the supposedly-civilized lands. And Drew, who was late to love and having a family, missed her husband and worried about him more even than Simone.

They all said she was taking this hard–when they thought she couldn't hear. They had grown _comfortable_ with this. Drew had never liked the way the princesses _used_ Finn, and this was pushing her to the limits of her patience. She wanted to scream at Bonnie. She would have slapped Nadia. So instead of either of those things, she was doing her best to be _useful_. She was working on her logs and looking after the babies.

There had been a time where she wondered–really _wondered_ –how Simone and Emeraude managed it. She'd been endlessly fascinated by the way they worked together to raise three kids, and she'd wondered how they managed not to tear each other to pieces. Now, when she was chasing after little Mona, Roseline, Ranna, Birch, Van, Carl, twins Azonia and Siobhan, and her own son, Joshua, she didn't wonder. They were a delight, and she enjoyed every minute of their company. There was never a doubt that she would do her best to care for them. Lately, she'd been considering retirement to focus on the job. It made some degree of sense. The others were tied to their kingdoms. They would never have the time for the job.

Sitting in her chair, going over the day's reports, while she listened to the kids in the background, she found herself reflecting on that. She'd done so much already. With Bonnie's help and that of the Candy Kingdom's Science Academy, she'd done a great deal to rebuild the lost medical lore of the world. She could comfortably retire. There wasn't anything really that she had to accomplish. And she wanted to be there with the kids. She wanted to be there with them every day. Having nearly missed her chance, she wanted that more than she'd wanted anything before.

"Hey, doc," announced a voice. Drew looked up with a frown to find a tall, muscle-bound fellow standing in her doorway. His facial features and body-type suggested he was from Muscle Kingdom, and he stood there, just looking around, though his eyes kept flicking back to the kids in their play-pen. For some reason that bothered her. "Office hours are finished," she told him. "You sure," he said, as he stepped into the room. "'Cause I got this problem..." Alarmed now, she coolly asked, "what kind of problem?" Her hands slowly slipped into her pockets.

Seeming to ignore her, he walked over to the play-pen. "These kids ain't all yours," he rumbled. "Yes," said Drew. "They are..." He laughed. "You'd have had to die pushing this many brats out, doc," he retorted. His eyes held a bit of menace as he stood over the children. "Tell me," he said, "which of these belong to that cunt, Cherry Cream Soda." "Mrs. Mertens," she asked? "Why would you care who her children are? And why would you think they're here?" "Don't play games, doc," said the bad man. "I'll kill 'em one by one until you tell me. Then I'll start carving on that pretty face of yours. I know that bitch leaves her two bastards here. Just tell me which they are..."

Rising, Drew strode towards him, and her voice was calm and soothing as she said, "it's a cosmic crime to harm children, Mr..." "Lopez-Garcia," replied the man. "It's a terrible act, Mr. Lopez-Garcia," said the doctor. "Akin to murdering your mother or father. People who harm children invariably go to the Night-O-Sphere..." The thug laughed as if she'd just told a very funny joke. He was laughing right up until the point where she jabbed the razor-sharp scalpel into his shoulder. "Ow," he howled, as he backhanded her. "Motherfucker!" He hit her so hard, he knocked her down, and he immediately moved to kick the shit out of her.

As Drew curled into the fetal position to fend off his blows, the thug stopped cold. He'd done the one thing he shouldn't have done. He'd pulled the knife out. Clutching at her now-broken nose, she watched as the thug slumped to the floor. The blood was pouring out of his shoulder in a flood. "It's the axillary artery," she told him. "All vertebrates have two–one on each side. They supply blood to your arms, and it can be fatal if they're punctured." "Y-you," he burbled. "Your heart's speeding up," she murmured. "That just makes it worse. It's trying to compensate for the pressure-loss, but it can't."

Squatting in front of him, she said, "I wasn't lieing about where you're going, Mr. Lopez-Garcia. I know this for a certainty because the Dark Lord of the Night-O-Sphere happens to be a very good friend of mine... Her name is Marceline, and two of those children are _hers_. You can make this a little less _ugly_ if you tell me who sent you..." The thug pleaded with her, but her face was cold and implacable. "H-her name's Sugarlump," the thug wheezed. "Sugarlump Plumly..." And then he was gone. Reaching out, the doctor closed his wild, staring eyes. She'd have to get Betty or Simone here as soon as she could get hold of them. The babies' minds would have to be wiped of this ugly memory. In the now, she reached into her pocket, drew her phone, and dialed Cherry.

It didn't take long for a nondescript black van to come rolling up to the clinic. A pair of distinguished looking men piled out, dressed in expensive silk suits. They quickly hustled the kids out of the clinic and into the van, where a doctor was waiting to look at Drew's nose. Drew was unsurprised to find Sarah behind the wheel and Cherry herself sitting in a heavily bolstered and padded chair in the back. "Hold still, miss," said the doctor as he examined her nose. The swelling was already really bad. Cherry's eyes were hot and hard. Drew put her off with, "we're ok. We need to find a story to tell Finn."

The gangster's expression changed like quicksilver. There was more at stake here than even the attempt to snatch some of the kids. Finn was out in the field now, doing his best to sustain the kingdom. Their part was to hold up the family, and they _failed_ if they let things they were going through affect what he was doing with the army. The last thing the world needed was to have Finn rushing back here in a futile attempt to protect his wives and kids.

"This'll hurt a little," said the doctor as he popped her nose back into place. Drew hissed in pain, but she was shockingly stoic about the whole business. As her colleague worked, she told Cherry all about the man who'd attacked her and what he'd had to say. Sarah, who was hardly occupied at all by driving, drew her phone, plugged it into the port behind her ear, and went surfing. "Yeah, there's a woman named Sugarlump Plumly alright," she said. "Gangster out of Wildberry Kingdom. Arrested seventeen times for mostly minor stuff but suspected in at least two murders." Glancing at the rear-view mirror, she added, "she's the only offspring of a Mr..." "...James Plumly," muttered Cherry. Now things began to make sense.

Indeed, as Sarah tore through the streets of the Candy Kingdom's capitol, a lot of puzzle pieces fell into place for the gangster woman. The creatures who'd tried to kill Star had tried on several other occasions. Each attempt had held one factor in common. It had been a bunch of plums out of Wildberry Kingdom. Neither Finn nor his daughter nor even Cherry herself had put two and two together to figure out what that signified. Now Cherry realized just what had been going on under their very noses.

This wasn't some strange attempt to abduct a wood-nymph. Star, while exotic for her kind, wasn't so unusual that it should be worth the attempt. Not when there had been plenty of less-lethal women to snatch off the streets. Those men were seeking revenge for _somebody else_. They had probably intended to take her stepdaughter prisoner and hold her against Finn's surrender. They'd been at it even through the war with the Lich and his attempts to destroy the world. They'd even tried for Bill, as she recalled. A pack of plums had tried to run him down in front of Wildberry's palace.

Sitting there in that chair, the Princess of the underworld stared down at the floor of her custom limousine. Her husband, her sons, and even her stepdaughter were in danger. Given what this Sugarlump was willing to do and the reach she seemed to have already, the danger might extend to her fellows. They _knew_ men had been following Betty and Simone. What else was this woman doing? And what if she _was_ in league with Wildberry? "I know that look," said Drew. "What're you thinking?" "She's thinking that we have a big problem," sighed Sarah. "It's going to take more than a lie to keep Finn out of this." They had a _very_ big problem.

As the three women rolled up to Bonnie's palace, Finn the King was in the midst of discovering problems of his own. Walking into the shack that was his after taking a quick bath, the big man picked up a towel and began to dry his body. His mind was far away. He always had _something_ to think about these days. If it wasn't one of the girls, it was one of the kids. If it wasn't one of his kids, it was one of the endless trials of his job. Lately, he'd begun to think of Talia, his unlikely ally. She was all alone in that _dead_ city, and he pitied her. He found himself promising that somehow he would find a way to visit more often. She was another person who needed him.

Intent as he was, he noticed very little in the shack. There wasn't anybody here. Ironically, he never missed _that_. The room was empty of life, like a strange sort of statement on the way his own life was going. It was as he was slicking back his unkempt hair and trying to shove it into some manner of order that he noticed what was missing. His sword was gone. The Finn-Sword was missing. Staring at the place where it had been propped against the wall, he knew immediately that it had been taken. He never _left it_ places. He always remembered right where he had put it because, in many ways, it was a part of him. Someone had taken the sword, and he knew immediately why, just as he knew what this development meant. The enemy was in his camp, and they were trying to cripple him.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24:

The far end of the gate castle looked a lot like the jaggedy teeth of a beggar to Fionna's very-tired eyes. The mercs had kept up the pressure every day since she'd fled here with Bonnie's peeps. Every day they tried something new. They'd rowed boats up the river, trying to sneak soldiers into the forest. When they encountered the watergates, they had floated bombs _down_ river from the other side in an effort to smash the defenses.

They had attacked all four gate castles singly and in concerted attacks meant to split the defense. Using magic, some had taken to the trees in an effort to bypass the poisonous no-man's land that surrounded the Grey Forest. When all of that failed, they had turned at last to bombing the main gate from a distance. Much of the outer gate was now a ruin with shattered buses jamming the passage to the interior. It was hardly an optimal outcome for either side, but it was a real disaster for Fionna's stepmom. The Grey Forest didn't have food supplies to support so many. They were in deep trouble.

Distant clouds of smoke suggested the war-machines were working themselves up. They stayed at the extreme of their range which put them out of the range of Pedersen's cannon and her mother's spells. Fortunately, the greybriar was too diffuse for them to have much of an effect on it, but the castles were taking a beating. Fionna's decision to pack the escape-buses into the outer passages was proving to be an act of brilliant foresight because it kept the enemy from simply storming the inner gate and even helped protect the inner gates from their weapons.

Lina sat down beside the tall blonde. She'd doffed the mask her folk habitually wore, and now she ran her fingers through her short, brown hair. "Do you like to be married," she asked? It was out of the blue, like much of what came out of the cyborg's mouth. Lina had professed that her people often communicated through machinery. She'd spent most of her time in school literally plugged into her fellow students. She knew her classmates in ways that Fionna would have found shocking. Talking–just plain old talking–was like a new world for her.

"Yeah," said Fi. Then, to really mess with the older woman's mind, she immediately added, "no." Frowning, Lina asked, "which is it?" "It's both, Lina," replied Fionna. Which made no sense at all to the cyborg girl. "I love it when Patrick's pampering me and tellin' me how much he loves and wants me," said Fionna. "I hate it when some hunky dude comes by, and I think how big and strong he is, and how much studlier he is than Pat. I love it when I'm twisting Patrick around my finger, and he's doin' stuff I want, like the kind of dude my dad is. I hate it when I sometimes have to do stuff I don't really like because Patrick wants me to."

Sitting down on the half-broken parapet, the blonde said, "a few months back, I was knocked-up high as a kite with Mona and still doing all my old Fionna' biz." At Lina's frown of puzzlement, the pretty blonde grinned and said, "choppin' the wood because I'm as tough as my dad ever was. Fightin' bad dudes because that's the biz I'm in. I wanted to go on that run to find the wood-nymphs' treasure with my stepmom and hubby, but Patrick pitched a fit. I didn't talk to him for a day."

She had Lina's full and undivided attention, and now she let her friend in on a secret. "When you got a good dude–a keeper like my daddy is–he's always makin' stuff happen," Fionna explained. "He makes it seem like you can get all the shit you want, even when you really can't. That's... It's what guys do. They spoil us and make us feel like we're princesses. Sometimes, though, they have to pull us back down to what the world's really like. Patrick had to do that when I was preggers with Mona. I was mad at him for _weeks_ , Lina. That's what you better be prepared for. Guys sometimes have to lay it out like it really is, and that's the time when marriage isn't really fun. You're a good wife when you can accept that sometimes things can't go your way." Fionna had learned to accept the limits of her life, and she was happy living inside them. Patrick wasn't her perfect dude, but he was perfect for her. She was blessed to have him.

Changing the subject, Lina asked what Fionna thought of their chances. "They can't crack us," replied Fionna. "Not with the stuff they've got. They shot their wad when they tried to sneak in over the wall. Now it comes down to two things. Food and my dad. If we run out of food, we're screwed. If my dad can't hold the line at Candy-Town, we're screwed." "Then I better start working on how to get food for us," said Lina. Fionna grinned. She'd put Lina on the science-biz from the start, and she didn't doubt that her bud would come up with something to keep them from starving. In the now, she was expecting an attack this night, and they would still need to keep the enemy from getting in.

Elsewhere, their implacable enemies were in the midst of cooking up plans of their own. In spite of the setbacks they'd suffered, the evil conspirators had been doing rather well. The news from the front lines was good, with their armies just miles from Candy-Town. Fionna the Human was bottled up and impotent in the Grey Forest, and nobody was rushing to aid Princess Bubblegum. Agent Princess had rumors suggesting Billy was in Purple Kingdom putting together an army to come at Bathilde to cut off the supply of soldiers. Nothing concrete had come to them regarding success or failure, but neither had Billy shown up with an army.

"Finn has been keeping a low profile," reported Agent Princess. Sugarlump harumphed. _Her_ dudes had stolen the sword! She hardly saw how reporting their enemy's humiliation after the fact was particularly useful. Orzsebet declared, "business at the Privy Council's come to a halt. Her faction's coming unglued. I think you should consider some _recruiting_..." Sugarlump sat up. That _was_ noteworthy. Strutting about, Orzsebet told them, "Engagement Ring Princess is getting pressure from her people to declare official neutrality. It's all her cabinet talks of. If Yolanda maybe _pushes_ or if someone gets her boy-toy out of there, it's another ally..."

"We'll see, dearie," Maja retorted. "Right now, I want to close the deal and lay hands on Bubblegum-Bitch. If we fail at that, she holds onto power, and that'll make her a thorn in my side. Where do things stand at Candy-Town?" Orzsebet focused those intense eyes on her employer for a moment. As Sugarlump was considering knifing her for the sixteenth time, the spy said, "she's holding the Gumball Guardians back. She also no longer has access to the war-machine." Wildberry got in her face, demanding, " _where?_ " Coolly, the spy replied, "no-one talks about that. I don't think they really know. All anyone could say for sure is that somehow he moved it..."

The sourberry spun around, clutching at her hair! That didn't make _sense_! Maja cackled in uholy glee. She had called it. She'd called it from the start. The boy was every bit the pathetic goody-two-shoes she had suspected. He'd given up his best weapon in favor of a hope and a prayer. They had them for certain now! Chaffing her hands together, the witch gleefully said, "then we move tonight at the forest. Send all of my little pets in. That will keep that little bitch busy while we move on _daddy_. Tomorrow we'll smash Finn the Human and take the Candy Kingdom at last." "I want to be there to kill Bonnie," muttered Wildberry. "Oh, you _will_ , dearie," Maja replied. "Auntie Maja always keeps her word, yes?"

South and west in the Candy Kingdom, the subjects of those dark thoughts were having a family gathering. Finn had been laying low for days now, following a strategy he shared with nobody. Star and Patrick had been doing a lot of the heavy lifting of running the army, with Finn providing strategy and mostly staying out of their way. They knew about the sword. They'd told their family that it was missing, leaving it to the princesses to figure out what they were going to do about it. Cherry had agents across the breadth of Ooo searching for it. Finn changed the subject whenever the matter was brought up.

Striding into Bonnie's parlor the big man found Betty sitting there with his daughter and granddaughter. Rising, she left their side and came straight to him. The big man slipped his arms around her and hugged her tightly, feeling tears fall on his shoulder. Stepping back, his awful mother in law wiped at her eyes, gave him a smile, and kissed his rough lips thoroughly. "Wanted you to see Ranna and Mona," she sighed. Brushing his face with her fingertips, she said, "I know you've got business." Without a further word, she went and gathered up the two little girls, then left him.

No sooner had she left than Bonnie, Cherry, Ragnhild, and Nadia came in. "Simone's detained," said Bonnie. "It will wait," he told her. Taking hold of her slim body, the big man kissed her, savoring the feel of her body against his. Letting go, he turned first to Cherry and then to Nadia. "I've got my own," Ragnhild teased. Finn laughed as he brushed past her. "Ok," he said. "Where are we? Blargetha's been chasing me for _days_. Do we have anything to stop those machines? Because we're going to be in a pretty bad spot if we don't."

"We have a _chance_ ," Nadia replied. "I have on my ship a machine capable of producing a static repulsion field..." Grinning at Bonnie, she said, "I call it my Tesla Barrier..." "Ok," said Finn. "So we're in business?" "Not quite," sighed Nadia. "The field requires the seeding of the frontier with field coils... to direct the energy arc." Frowning, Finn said, "so we don't have anything..." "She has a plan," muttered Cherry. "One I'm not very happy with." Judging by the look on Bonnie's face, Finn had a feeling he wasn't going to like it either. "It's Fionna," said Ragnhild. "She wants to use Fionna."

The gathering got a little heated then. Bonnie and Nadia squared off against Cherry, with Ragnhild doing a rather piss-poor job of mediating. Very pregnant and missing her husband very much, Ragnhild was having trouble maintaining the sort of mental focus and balance needed for this situation. Strangely enough, in spite of having someone take his prized sword from his quarters, Finn was perfectly poised and focused. "When can we get her here," he asked?

Cherry frowned at him, and even Bonnie gave him a look that said he wasn't thinking this through completely. Trouble was that Bonnie had this habit of thinking she'd addressed the risks and dangers to friends and family when she really _hadn't_. Finn had addressed them the day he sent his daughter off to Cocoa City. He'd already figuratively given his daughter up as lost when the word came that Wildberry had troops west of the town. He'd been delighted and relieved when she'd managed to get those people to the Grey Forest, but she was still in danger and he knew it. It was the cost of the life they led.

Calmly, Finn said, "Sarah told me there's a large clearing in the forest. I think one of your airships would be able to land there. It'll be tight, but it's doable." Just like that, the decision got made. "It would have to be during the day," said Nadia. "I wouldn't trust trying to do a landing in that clearing at night." Which meant that Blargetha would get a shot at Candy-Town tomorrow. "I'll hold them," he said. "Finn," said Bonnie. "Are you sure? I... you don't have your sword..." "I also don't have a choice," said the big man. "We have to stop them east of Candy-Town. That's the line in the sand. Get hold of Fionna. She needs to be ready first thing tomorrow..." "I'll start setting up the machine," said Nadia. And that was that.

Rising, the big man said, "I'm'a go see Drew..." Having missed the birth, he was anxious to see her, make sure she was alright, and apologize. " _No_ ," said Nadia and Bonnie simultaneously! Cherry very nearly rolled her eyes. Honestly, she would have belted the pair of them. For two supposedly logical brainiacs, they had a lot of trouble staying on message. They had all _rehearsed_ this endlessly. "She's tied up, honey," said Cherry. "She was hoping she could get away, but she's just too busy." Frowning, Finn said, "she should be recovering from the baby..." Smiling indulgently, Cherry stroked his arm and said, "you get that army stopped, honey. The sooner you do that, the easier it'll be to get away." "Yeah," he sighed. She was right, and he knew it. "I'll go look in on the kids," he said. "They're with Lollipop upstairs," Bonnie told him.

Nadia and Bonnie breathed a sigh of relief when he was gone. That had been close. Moving on, Cherry said, "I'll call Fionna. You two get that machine ready. We'll only get one shot at this." Drawing her phone, the little woman headed out, already dialing their stepdaughter. Fionna answered almost immediately with a terse, "go." "Fi," announced Cherry. "It's Cherry..." "Yeah," the bunny yawned. "You ok," asked Cherry? "Didn't sleep," Fionna replied. "Whassup, Wicked Stepmoms...?" _All_ the children called her that. Flushing, Cherry nonetheless answered, "we need you ready to come back. Tomorrow morning..."

Fionna was immediately awake. "I can't do that," she howled! "There's an army of dudes out there!" Cherry shushed her. "We need your powers over earth, honey," said the Mafia Princess. "If Nadia's machine works, it'll take pressure off here and let us send help _there_. A Grid-Person ship will be there at first light in that big clearing. Be there waiting, ok?" Fionna acknowledged that, but she was clearly unhappy. After a few moments of assuring the pretty blonde that her siblings and her daughter were all ok, Cherry was able to sign off. She had her own part to play. She was still trying to find her husband's sword, and, now she had a name, she was trying to find the person who had been trying to do in their family.

After spending the afternoon on his kids, Finn the King headed back out to Candy-Town to rejoin the army. He needed to be in place for the fight there, and he needed whoever had taken his sword to see him there. Likely they would be calling their masters on the other side of the line to report where he was. Maja and Wildberry seemed to think that this was going to be the final fight, and he didn't want to disappoint them. Certainly, he wanted to take their attention off Nadia and Bonnie setting up the machine he hoped would enable them to work out a peace-deal.

Back in the Grey Forest, Fionna watched the setting of the sun with a great deal of trepidation. The enemy liked to try their dirtiest stuff at night. The deal was that if they could get something–anything–to stick, it would let them neutralize her defense and get at the people inside the forest. Consequently Fionna the Human Girl got very little sleep at night. She spent a lot of time driving along the walls, going from one area to another, hitting all the places that were weak. Sometimes her mom went with her, but a lot of the time she went by herself. She had a phone, and she had her bad-ass skills with crystals and earth to hold the bad dudes down until help could get there.

This evening, her thoughts were scattered as they had ever been, and even Patrick's gift wasn't helping. She felt like she owed a debt to the people here in the forest. She owed loyalty and protection to the people she'd taken under her wing. Her mom. Her mom's peeps. Bonnie's peeps. She needed to take care of them, and she couldn't do that from Candy-Town. At the same time, she was worried about what was going on there that her other moms would ask her to come home. Were things so bad there that they'd ask her to run out on the peeps in the forest? Cherry sounded confident, but Fionna well knew what confidence could hide.

After a quick dinner and a quicker call to Patrick, Fionna headed down to the beat-up old car she'd scrounged up from the fleet that had brought Bonnie's peeps here. Settling behind the wheel, she thought of her own truck and wondered what had happened to it. She'd lost it sometime in the hectic fight with the Lich, and she couldn't, for the life of her, remember where she'd driven it last. _Wizard City, maybe,_ she thought? It hardly mattered now. Grown-up Fionna didn't need it anymore. There were far more important things to concern herself with. Starting the car, she set out, rolling into the depths of the forest.

Her eyes sifted the moving shadows and her senses searched for hidden dangers as she guided the beat-up old car around boulders and tree-trunks that were as thick as her father was tall. Some of those held homes of more affluent wood-nymphs. Those women built their pads high in the trees, standing aloof from the dangers down on the forest floor. Fionna had suggested stationing dudes up there as lookouts on several occasions, but her mom wasn't ready to push that issue yet. The Matriarch had already turned the place upside down since taking power. There was a risk of pushing too far too fast.

The bunny followed the curve of the Wall as it wove its way along from south to north. Lieutenant Steel was camped out at the confluence of the two rivers that flowed into the Grey Forest. He was ready to move against whatever attempts the berry-boys made to come into the forest as soon as he got the warning. They were mostly focused upstream. It was much harder for the enemy to come in from downstream where they had to fight the current. Fionna peered into the darkness, searching for the makeshift bridge that crossed the widest part of the river as she rolled up on the break in the vast growth of poisonous thorns. This would be the risky bit. The bridge always sounded like it was about to fall out from under the car as she was crossing.

The harsh *thump* of dart guns was her first and only warning of the intruders. Fionna was diving from the car even as the hard steel needles went tearing through it. Her nice new duds had taken a beating the last few days, and tonight just added to the wear and tear as the fuel in the tank erupted in a burst of light and heat. As Fionna rolled to a stop, she felt the pain of more bumps and bruises added on top of the beating she'd already taken. A corner of her mind reflected on something her mother had said what seemed like a lifetime ago. If she applied herself in school, maybe she wouldn't end up with all the scars her dad had. It sort of made her laugh. She was laughing even as the figures came up on her in the darkness.

They came weird. They were likely the weirdest creatures she'd ever seen, looking like some bastardized cross between fish-people and killer-fruit. The gills below their jaw-lines and their webbed feet and hands told her how they'd gotten under the water-gate. Her moms hadn't been able to build it all the way to the bottom, what with Sarah's new parts causing her to overheat and all, and the wood-nymphs being pretty rotten builders besides. Now berry-face's dudes had somehow managed to turn themselves into fish and swim underneath.

"Wow," burbled Fionna. "You dudes are ugly." "Kill her," asked one of the men? "Or fuck her first." A second dude said, "we're staring at Fionna the Human Girl... Boss'd pay to lay hands on her." "Berry-face can suck it," chuckled Fionna. "Don't work for her," said the leader, as he lined up his gun with her forehead. "And you're too dangerous to try and take in alive. Sorry fellas. You'll have to be satisfied with wood-nymph pussy." Before he could finish laughing–or pull that trigger–she was no longer laying on the ground. Resting a hand on his shoulder, she said, "yeah... Mom doesn't put up with that anymore." Her tone was friendly, but she sliced his head off with the glass sword she conjured.

As the corpse tottered there a moment, blood spurting from the two arteries in the fish-man's neck, Fionna dashed forward, clipping three dudes at once, slicing off one leg and two arms. As the men screamed and clutched at their bleeding stumps, Fionna dashed into the woods a moment. She was supposed to be saving it. The moms needed her for whatever this hush-hush science-project was, and that meant she needed to rest at least a _little_. Drawing her phone, she speed-dialed Steel.

Her banana-boy was in his rack, sleeping like a baby, and it took a moment to get his attention. Gunfire blasting the tree beside her got his full attention. "I'm on my way," he shouted, as he hung up! He was always doing that now. He did kind of get excitable since his little change. She hadn't yet had the heart to tell him. He thought he'd found his mojo. Why spoil it? A breaking twig behind her announced the enemy had found her. Spinning to her left in the blink of an eye, the Glass Wizard hurled a glittering chunk of crystal which promptly split into ten just before impact, shredding the fish-man's tender flesh. Tucking her booted foot under the rifle the corpse had so casually dropped, she kicked the thing into her hands and opened fire on the enemy.

The whole business was halfway wrapped up by the time Steel arrived. There were just eight dudes left, and she had them cornered. Steel and his guys moved in fast and hard as anything they'd done when they were the Banana Guard's Heavy Boys. In short order, Steel himself dispatched the last of the fish-men. "Boss," he called, as he toed the corpse. "Here," she answered, as she stepped out from the lee of a tree. "What now," he asked? "Check the water-gate for bombs," she replied. "I'm'a take your truck and get some sleep." "Who were they," asked one of the troops? "P'rolly somethin' Wildberry had a wizard whip up," yawned Fionna, as she headed for their truck. "Toodles, guys," said she as she tore out of there.

As Fionna crawled into bed, a dark, implacable _something_ was creeping up on the caravan carrying fuel and supplies to Blargetha's army. They came slipping across the grasslands in the darkness, having _run down_ the caravan across the last three nights as the Berry People hauled their precious cargo to the front lines of their master's war. This wasn't the world they had envisioned. While occasionally a little despotic, the Berry-People's leader had always been wise and rational. Unfortunately now there was nothing reasonable about Wildberry Princess. After twenty years of teetering on the brink of open war with her neighbors, they'd finally gone over the edge into bloodshed.

The stoic were treating this as just another _phase_ their master was going through. She'd had her bouts of various bad behaviors when she was young, but she'd grown into a stable and relatively talented leader. Others were _resigned_. This was what their kingdom had become. This was the life they were going to lead. All were about to find out just how ugly the consequences of war could really be.

The first of the monsters casually strolled up to one of the guards and plunged a hand tipped by iron-hard nails into the guard's back. The evil creature tore the guard's heart out and began to eat as the dead man slumped to the ground. More of the creatures came out of the darkness, slaughtering any they found who might still be up and about. Two mechanics died at their post, working on the generator that would have run the camp's lights. The eggplant who was holding the tools and flashlight got his first. The fiends tore his head from his shoulders and began tearing him to pieces while the body was still jerking. The grape who'd been head-deep in the generator learned of the awful assault by having both legs torn off. As he screamed, the ruthless fiends slammed the door down on his chest until he quit moving.

The tents began to empty, but it was already too late. The fiends were everywhere. As the Berry-Guards mustered, they were savagely dismembered. One by one the fiends did them in, shredding their flesh, cutting their throats, and gutting them like prize fish. Watching the carnage, Kurja Jano popped a piece of flesh into his mouth, savoring the sweet taste of Berry-Person, as his troops slaughtered the last few. "Smash the military supplies," he said. "Especially the fuel. Spill it on the ground. Taint the food with Fever. Then go and eat. We'll leave in two hours to reach shelter." The ghoul lieutenant acknowledged those orders with a sharp salute before marching off to do what he'd been told. This wasn't the war they had envisioned, and even their leader was somewhat at a loss to understand just what it was that they were asked to do. Most had expected a brutal slog through the heart of Wildberry Kingdom. It was what their leader had been expecting to be ordered to do. That was what ghouls were good for. The Princess had other ideas on her mind, though.

Morning found Finn the King standing atop the defensive wall that would be the focus of today's activities. After days of delays and battles meant to slow Wildberry and whittle back her troops, the big man was finally going to close down her mad little offensive. He was saddened by the lives lost and the destruction, but he still had a hope this could be fixed and Ooo united once more.

The big man's eyes scanned the distance. Blargetha's base was at the old Squeezymart in the wastelands where Jake met Clarence the first time. Cherry's dudes had counted fifty of the 'tanks' there along with thousands of her modified slime-peeps. Having partied in Slime-Kingdom on many occasions, Finn wasn't looking forward to fighting the slime-peeps. It felt _wrong_ to take out people he'd befriended. _But it's them or Bonnie's peeps,_ he reminded himself, _so you better get that straight in your head._ Thankfully his job was just to hold today. Nadia's dudes would be heading out any minute to go grab Fionna. Once his daughter had completed the barrier, the fight would be over.

Over at the Squeezymart, Blargetha was warming up for the day with an extra-large coffee and Princess-Size sweet-roll. They had given Finn's pathetic band a beating all across the previous day. Every time his fools thought to stop and rest, Blargetha's troops had hammered them, making them pick up and take off again. She'd been _delighted_ –at least with what she could see. For much of the time, she'd been too far away to see anything, and the action was over by the time she caught up. Today, they were at the gates of Candy-Town. There was nowhere really for them to go without abandoning the town and its citizens. Finn would have to stand and fight, and she was hoping to get a front-row seat to watch that bastard get his at last.

As she daintily dunked her monster donut into her equally large cup of coffee, she day-dreamed of what she was going to do with her chunk of the Candy Kingdom's treasure. Build new quarters was at the top of the list. She was a little tired of living in a dank hole in the ground, and her new form seemed impervious to the rain. As she thought of viewing the morning sunrise through her new curtains, her captain of the guard came rushing into the store, shouting for her. Rolling her eyes–her new captain was pretty but about as dumb as a post–Blargetha motioned for him to be brought to her.

Her bodyguard got up and made the journey through the Squeezymart's maze of aisles and displays to retrieve the idiot officer. Leading him back through the maze, he brought the fool to the Princess's side, offering, "Captain Hockeye, Mistress..." Resting her head on her free hand in a display of her sheer boredom, Blargetha declared, "if this isn't important, I will have you shredded and left to dissolve in the rain." The frightened soldier replied, "the supply column... It didn't arrive..." Blargetha yawned and said, "and?" Frowning, the soldier said, "we were supposed to use the weapons on Finn the Human, but we can't drive them more than a few miles now. Without fuel, we'll be lucky to get them home!"

Rolling her eyes, the Princess said, "then leave them here. We haven't needed them the last few days anyway. Finn's impotent. Without his sword, he's nothing." Uncertainly, the good captain saluted and bowed to her. Yawning in her boredom, she said, "prepare a spot for me to watch on high-ground. Then engage the enemy below." Nodding his understanding, her general saluted and bowed again. She told him to find his own way out. Her bodyguard gave good massages, and, after a night in this wretched place, she wanted a full-body rub-down before she went out in the hot sun.

Finn was waiting restlessly with his third child when the enemy finally began to move. He'd waited across the morning, hoping against hope that maybe their enemies were finally starting to think this through. They'd killed a lot of them yesterday–a hundred at one sitting. It was a particularly evil madness to force your people into that. He was hoping that Blargetha had woken up to what she was doing, but he feared it was a vain hope. Now he had his answer.

As Star and her father watched, a procession came to the top of the hill before them. There were sedan-chairs and servants and the makings of a feast. The wizard-woman face-palmed herself. "She's going to have popcorn, daddy," muttered Star. With a heavy sigh, Finn nodded, "yeah, babe. She's going to have popcorn." Shaking off his disgust, the big man said, "let's get at this. That army'll be moving now." As they were about to move, _she_ showed up. Like a bad penny, Ingrid the Warrior Princess came riding up on a horse with a few hundred of her friends trailing along behind her.

"Well, hello, General," the evil woman greeted them. "Hey," Finn replied. "What brings you?" Gesturing grandly, the princess replied, "coming to the aid of my King, of course." Under her breath, Star muttered, "of course." Smiling indulgently, the wicked princess asked, "so what's our plan?" With a shrug, Finn said, "keep those guys out here until the wall is ready." Warrior Princess Ingrid stared around her, and her expression suggested that she didn't see anything like a wall. Finn did nothing to enlighten her.

"Alright," she said. "I'm game. Where do you want me?" Cocking his head to one side, the big man said, "how about over on the left there?" Pursing those pouty lips of hers, she asked, "is that the _only_ place you want me?" "For now," Finn replied. The bitch blew him a kiss as she went riding by. Star greeted her shadow with a terse, "Thor." He looked about like she'd punched him in the gut. "Headed right, daddy," said Star. "Watch your back." Finn hugged his little girl, then sent her on her way.

The enemy soldiers came marching onto the field in all their glory with rifles fronted by spears and swords. They were getting smarter. Finn had been able to take out many of their riflemen in the battles on the previous day. Now the job promised to be a lot harder unless he could come up with a way to break up the spearmen. Frowning for a moment, the big man thought the problem through as Blargetha's troops slowly advanced. After a moment, it occurred to him that Ingrid's dudes might be able to solve his problem.

Reaching into his pocket, he drew his phone and dialed up Thor. When he had his son-in-law on the line, he dispensed platitudes and careful advice. After a time, Ingrid herself got on, suggesting that Thor hadn't been explaining things very well. Finn quickly explained the whole thing again. Then, when Thor had hung up, he settled in for the fight of his life.

Blast bolts and lightning opened up the battle, blasting holes in the enemy's lines and whittling back numbers. As Finn watched and waited on the first shock, Ingrid and her companions turned and rode off. That caused a little dismay among Finn's soldiers, though nobody panicked. Slowly but surely the enemy came into grappling range. Opening his hand, the big man found the Grass Sword there just like always.

As his men took the first shock, he went into action, chopping off the head of one spear and a good length of the shaft. Darting forward, Finn cut the arms off the slime person that had been carrying it. As the enemy soldier collapsed, screaming, Finn killed the rifleman behind him by the simple expedient of cutting off his head. Then he spun to his right and clove the man there from neck to knee. Indeed, the Hero of Ooo resolutely chopped his way through a good portion of the front line until resistance slowed him down. About then, Ingrid and her troops came roaring in from behind the enemy lines and tore into them. Simultaneously, Star and Betty hit the enemy from the right, pounding them with blast-bolts, ice, and lightning.

As Blargetha watched from the hill, the battle devolved then. The neat ranks of her troops broke apart. They'd never practiced this, and they weren't exactly imbued with martial spirit to begin with. Faced with threats on three sides of them, and Finn the Human tearing up their ranks from within their own lines, the Slime Guard fell apart into clumps and clusters. There were still massive numbers, but they no longer had cohesion. The fight, such as it was, turned into a brawl, with clumps of Banana and Froyo Guard tackling clumps of the Slime Guard and their mercenary allies as Finn and his companions exploited the chaos to do damage of their own.

Back behind friendly lines, a Grid-Person airship came sailing down out of the sky, slipping between two buildings, to land in a field just outside Candy-Town. Bonnie, Nadia, and Cherry were there waiting on it along with a very worried Patrick Petrikov. The wizard had insisted, even though he was desperately needed at the front. He'd put his father and sister-in-law off in favor of coming here to see his wife. Honestly, he had no idea what to say or even what he _could_ say to her. She'd been through hell. They both had. If that wasn't enough, he had the news of what had happened at the Candy Clinic. He'd been fighting with himself almost since the first time he'd heard it. Should he tell his wife?

He knew there was nothing she could do where she was. At least there was nothing _positive_. She could do a whole lot that was negative simply by telling her father exactly what his wives were keeping from him. She could get _herself_ killed worrying about people she couldn't help right now because, quite simply, Fi was Finn's daughter in every way. They even thought alike. Now, with Fionna actually here, the danger was greater that she would do something rash when they all needed her and her father focused. _Can't tell her,_ he decided. _Not until the barrier's up._ There was just too much at stake.

The Fionna that came off the airship was _changed_. Even from a distance they could all see it. Oh, she had the same confident stride, but her face held that same deadly serenity that her father had. Patrick grimaced, thinking of how that change might well have happened. From insistence, he was now at worry and shame. For her part, Cherry was _alarmed_ at the rest of Fionna's appearance. The dress she wore was tattered and singed in many places. Fresh bruises on her cheek, neck, and forearms told that she'd been in an ugly fight. With all that was going on–and the certain knowledge that James Plumly's daughter was out there somewhere trying to harm any and every person in their family–it was devastating every time she saw one of the kids looking like that.

"Ok," said Fionna. "So you have me here. What's the play?" Patrick was the only person to notice the change in diction. Striding forward, he hugged his wife, taking the opportunity to run his fingers through her long, golden hair. He was a little disturbed to smell the scent of burnt hair around her and to see the burnt-off strands in back, but he said nothing. It took a little more will not to say anything about the object attached to her temple. The DGTOW dudes said that women were incapable of being anything other than what they were. Well, he'd managed to change a woman. He'd changed her but good, and he didn't really like it.

"Come along, Fi," said Bonnie. "Patrick? I think you can go back to the field now. I'm sure Finn and Star need you." It was an order, and he knew it. Without a word, he turned and headed back. His mind was on the change and on something odd his mother had said. He'd watched and listened and seen firsthand the changes in Finn the Human. Honestly, at the time, he'd heartily approved. The man was stepping up his game–becoming better. That was what an Alpha-Dog did. His mother had different thoughts. From dissing the man every chance she got, she'd somehow started to care about him. She sounded, some ways, like she cared about Finn more than she had Patrick's father.

Betty Mertens had told her beloved son that his stepfather was in the midst of being irreparably altered by all the people who touched him. The nanobugs were just the latest alteration. His wives. His kids. Everybody was changing him. Maybe some of it _was_ for the better, but he wasn't getting much in the way of a choice in the matter. And some of it was very painful and ugly. She'd told Patrick about the fact that nobody seemed to like 'Intelligent Finn'. Patrick had been a little surprised and aghast as he suddenly realized that his secret hero–the man he'd always wished he could be–had been forced to 'dumb himself down' to suit everyone else, Patrick included.

Betty had admonished him to be himself and to never let others change him. It had been a weird conversation, but now Patrick understood it. In loving Finn, she'd come to understand men better than she ever had before, and she now lived in fear of what ferocious, man-eating witches could do to a man–her son. She'd been warning him of that, when strangely enough he'd already learned the lesson. "But she taught you something else," he sighed. Was it love to ask Fi to change so much for _him_? It was something they would have to work out when this was all over. Did she keep that gadget? Or did they join together to smash it and just live with what they had? Finn no longer had a choice, but Fionna still did.

Behind him, Fionna fell in alongside her stepmoms as they led the way from the airfield. As the quartet walked out to where the Grid-Face people had set up the Tesla Barrier, Nadia and Bonnie did their best to explain what they needed. For Cherry, it was almost comical as the two 'smartest in the room' tried to talk the supposed dim-bulb through the process of building the nodes that would conduct the barrier's charge. She could completely understand how it was that Simone and her daughter had gotten along so poorly with these two. She wouldn't have tolerated someone talking _down_ to her child either. Fionna wasn't her kid, and _she_ was annoyed. Interrupting the irritating diatribe, the little woman opined, "maybe it would help if you _showed_ Fionna what you want..."

The two brains stopped in mid-sentence as Fionna stopped right there and stood waiting expectantly. After a long moment spent rummaging in her backpack, Nadia came up with a schematic. "No," said Fi. "I need the actual object. I don't have years for you to explain the esoteric principles. I intend to construct the copies at the molecular level..." You could have pushed the two scientists over with a feather. This time Cherry did howl laughter. "Wait," said Bonnie. "Did you just...?" With a shrug, Fionna said, "I heard the words years ago in school. I didn't understand them until a few minutes ago..." Frowning, Nadia growled, "who infected you with nano-machines?" Waving that off, Fionna said, "I'll explain it later. I'm actually pretty smart now. Just show me this gadget. I can probably make a copy. Won't look as slick as the ones you guys build, but I can do it fast."

Patrick Petrikov arrived at the front line to find that the battle had already moved well beyond where Finn had originally intended to start out. The Banana Guard had taken something of a shellacking, and there were a fair number of bodies scattered about in the familiar yellow shell. Finn and the others were resting. On the far side of the field, the enemy was doing the same. As the young wizard approached the King of Ooo, his eyes searched for his mom in fear. "Sent her to go see how the other wizards were doing," said Finn. He might well have been reading Patrick's mind. Of course he was also Betty's sworn protector. The big man was singed and scratched in places, and he had a few new scars, but he hardly looked like he was winded. He looked, in fact, as though he could do this all day.

Ingrid rode up just then, opining, "an excellent plan, my King. We did substantial damage with minimal losses." Patrick grimaced. The dead hardly seemed _minimal_ to him. He could see why this woman gave even Finn the willies. Staring at the enemy as they regrouped, the tall woman said, "it's likely they'll be ready for another such attack." Finn turned to his stepson/son-in-law and asked, "Fi here?" "Yeah," said Patrick. "They're explaining it now." Nodding, Finn said, "we only need to keep them busy maybe another hour..." Puzzled, Ingrid asked, "you have another weapon?" "Got a wall," Finn replied. It was his version of coy, and it was starting to irritate her.

"Why don't you use the weapon," she asked? "Because the weapon's for aliens, GP," Finn replied. "Not for the people of Ooo. Follow my orders. Move your troops to the right side of the field this time. When the enemy begins to move, I want you to head them off and hit them with your bows..." Frowning, she asked, "and you? What will you be doing?" "Backing up," said Finn. "Keep it going until they start to get a little too close, then run back to our lines." Gritting her teeth, she replied, "as you wish." Without another word, she rode off. "I don't like her," rumbled Pat. Finn shrugged. "I like her just fine if she does what I need right now," he said. Without a further word, he walked over to the leader of the Froyo-Guard.

Blargetha's dudes were back as the day cranked over into afternoon. They lined up as before, only this time they had a double-layer of spears at the front protecting their precious dart-gunners. Finn immediately began to back away as they moved forward. Just as he'd ordered, Ingrid and her troops rushed out to harass the enemy with their bows. As Patrick watched, while flinging ice-storms and blast-bolts into the enemy's ranks, Ingrid and her dudes raced up and down the lines, pelting the enemy with arrows, thinning them out.

The arrows weren't as effective against Blargetha's slime-dudes, but they were brutally efficient against the humanoids, laying them out by the pack. Ingrid and her troops quickly switched tactics, taking care to make sure that they fired _only_ at the humanoids. In short order, they had slaughtered nearly all of them. That was the moment that she chose to 'fall back'. It looked to Patrick like it was almost a panic, as the Warrior Princess and her dudes tore away from the enemy at high speed, even leaving some of their numbers behind. Finn and his troops slowly backed away as the enemy now rushed forward, looking for a fight and expecting that they were going to carry the day now.

Back at the machine, Fionna came out of the control room, stepping out on the soft, sandy soil that underlay much of the grasslands. She could hear and see evidence of the battle that still raged to the east. Patrick was there, leading the right wing of the army. Her sister was on the left. This was make or break time. Strangely calm, Cherry said, "I know you can do this, Fionna. You're Finn's child." It was maddening on several levels. Their history should have made them enemies, but when Cherry spoke, it was the same way Emeraude spoke to her. Putting on a smile, Fionna said, "c'mon, stepmomma... I need that wicked confidence..." The tall girl didn't take 'no' as an answer. She grabbed Cherry by the arm and half-dragged her towards the battle.

When Fionna finally came to a stop, the little woman beside her huffing and puffing for breath, she stood and scanned the scene ahead of them. The battle wasn't going well. Her dad was getting pushed back in spite of the sudden surprise _help_ from Princess Ghost-Face. There were a lot of dudes there. She'd have to work fast and be super-accurate with this. "W-what do we do," puffed Cherry. "Sit down," said Fi, as she gathered her skirts up to do just that. Cherry mirrored her, settling on her butt on the soft grass and sand. Taking her hand–finding it cool to the touch, like a glass of tasty pop on a hot day–Fi said, "think confident thoughts... I need the emotional energy. I'm going to transmute it into a form I can use to draw energy out of thin air..." Nose wrinkling, the pretty blonde said, "Bonnie probably has a word for that... Anyways... I'll channel the energy into the stone. The molecules speak to me when I'm able to rest and listen."

Without a further word, she lay back and closed her eyes. "Confidence," she whispered. Cherry felt anything but. She didn't feel _confident_. She felt scared. She felt like it was all happening again. She felt like she was at risk of losing the second man to hold her heart in his hands. Only now they had children–more than a dozen wonderful children. She was terrified of losing even one of them. She was afraid of the forces that were trying to grind them into dust in spite of all the hell they'd already seen. "Calm," advised Fionna. "Your heart's racing." It was hard to be _calm_ though, when she stood to lose everything she'd come to love. "Mmm... I feel that," sighed Fionna. She sounded far away. "Just like that..." The lawyer/housewife-turned crime-lord goggled at her for a moment, and then she realized what her stepdaughter meant.

Laying herself back, closing her fingers tight about Fionna's, she let the younger woman feel all the love that had grown in her cold, crusty heart these last few years. The love of a woman for a good man. The love of a proud mother for her children. The love of a friend for the fellows that kept her safe and sane. She poured all of that into the strange bond between them.

For Finn, the first sign that things were moving was the soft rumbling. He could _feel_ the energy. He could feel it building all around them. Then he could feel soft tremors under the earth. His mind shrieked a warning, but it came just a little too late as a jagged spire of crystalline stone shot out of the earth, toppling Thor. Finn was at his son-in-law's side in the blink of an eye, just as one of the Slime Guard would have brained the younger man. The grass-sword flicked out, removing the man's arm in the blink of an eye. As gooey-green muck spurted out of the stump, Finn lopped off his head.

The earth began to shake and quiver subtly beneath their feet. "Back," shouted Finn. "Everybody get back past the safe line!" The banana-guards and Froyo-dudes scrambled to escape as Finn rushed straight into the fray. In short order, Star passed Thor, hurling lightning bolts as she raced after her father. Patrick and his mother floated along after the pair, taking their time. Warrior Princess stared in awe at them a moment as they raced headlong into the heart of the enemy's line even as their troops retreated. Gathering herself, she spurred her horse after them.

More of the crystalline spires began to erupt. A line of them began to form to the north, arcing north and east towards the distant border with Peanut Kingdom. As Thor gathered himself to his feet, he found more spires growing in the south, the line of them racing away even as he watched, bound for the distant Engagement Ring Kingdom.

Finn was a force of nature, ripping and tearing his way through the enemy lines over and over. The grass sword split men asunder and removed limbs by the half-dozen with each pass. Far from being _crippled_ , the big man was in his element, and the officers and soldiers of Blargetha's army were near to panic. When you threw in the three wizards and the witch on the horse, their courage began to waver. Sitting on her throne up on the hill, Blargetha herself was close to pissing her dress in panic. As she watched Finn literally blip from place to place, faster than the eye could follow, she could scarcely believe she had any soldiers left on the field! None of them could even touch him! It was like he didn't need the sword at all!

Worse, the sight of those obelisks coming up out of the ground signified that something even more terrible was happening. What were they? Who was creating them? Her mind wanted to ascribe the new threat to Baba Yaga. Hurletta and Breakfast had both admitted that Finn somehow could compel her to do his bidding. What if she was sticking her nose in things now?! Terror seized hold of the slime-person's heart as Finn and his friends tore up her troops.

Down below, Thor's phone chirped. Flicking it on, he shouted, "go!" "Thor," growled Cherry. "I can't raise Finn! What the fuck's going on?" "There's... there's these things growing out of the ground," Thor replied. "Those are for the Tesla Barrier," Cherry informed him. "We need the army back on our side, and I need my husband back here too. You understand, Thor?" He did. With Finn and the others or don't bother coming back. "On my way," he said, as he hung up. Searching around, he found one of the overturned trucks that had been used as a barrier to slow the enemy army. The big man grabbed the corner of the roof, put his back into things, and shoved the vehicle back on its wheels. Climbing behind the wheel, he prayed the thing would still start after the beating it had gotten. Thankfully, it did.

The giant tore across the battlefield, heading for the knot of men clustered around his friends and family. The slime-people were so focused on Finn and his family, they hardly noticed the truck until Thor was on top of them. The big man slammed into a dozen, flattening several and knocking some more than ten feet into the air. Swerving at the last minute, he threw the truck between his friends and some of the onrushing slime-guards, shouting, "wall's going up! Get in!" Thor, Betty, and Patrick piled into the bed. Finn, unfortunately, was still out there, blipping back and forth.

"Don't wait," shouted Betty! "He'll be fine!" Reluctantly, the big man tore out of there, slamming through several more bodies as his friends blasted away from the bed of the truck. Swerving as a couple of dart-gunners tried to light up their ride, Thor finally broke free of the press. Up ahead, he could see that a strange energy-field was starting to gather around the pilings that made up the barrier. Sawing the wheel back and forth to throw off the enemies' aim, he finally reached the barrier and darted past it. The truck skidded to a halt as the barrier sprang fully into being.

Stepping out of the truck, Thor glanced back to where they'd been–where the army was still trying to deal with Finn. "She's gonna' kill me," sighed Thor. "For what," asked Finn? When he turned to his right, Thor found the big man standing there, holding Ingrid in his arms like the gallant he was. The Warrior Princess was startled to the point of being astonished. One moment she'd been on her horse in the heart of the press. The next she was _here_. Setting her on her feet, he asked, "you ok? Never done that with somebody else." "F-fine," she stammered. Finn turned back to the barrier with a grin splitting his face. Fionna and the girls had done it!

While Finn was marveling at the wall, Betty pushed Ingrid aside, threw herself on her husband and glued her hot lips to his. Startled only a moment, the big man wrapped his arms around Betty, returning her affection. Patrick was a little shocked at first. Then Fionna grabbed his arm and spun him around. A moment later, his wife's lips were glued to his, and he forgot all about Finn romancing his mom. At least he forgot until the minor squabble that erupted over who got to kiss Finn next.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25:

The witch's hands glowed with pale fire as she strode towards Blargetha. As Wildberry watched in surprise, an invisible force snatched the hapless princess off her feet and held her high in the air. That force began to _stretch_ the slime-creature, threatening to tear her limbs from her body or even to tear her in half. "I thought you said that torture didn't work for interrogations," rumbled the bad berry. "This isn't torture," muttered Maja. "This might well be an execution..." Blargetha pleaded. She pleaded in pitiable tones as the pain increased. "You _failed_ ," snarled Maja! "You failed me!" "Th-the fuel," wheezed the slime-person. "My fuel caravan didn't come..." Maja frowned at her and the force slackened a little–just enough to let the princess speak.

" _Talk_ , dearie," hissed Maja. "The caravan didn't come. When we found it, the whole thing was smashed and the people... they looked like somebody ate them..." Maja looked _bored_ as Blargetha made her explanations. She looked as though this was hardly persuading her at all. She looked, in fact, like she might just finish Blargetha off. Then Blargetha told of the soldier who'd eaten some of the food from the caravan and gone mad. "What did you say," hissed the witch? "I-I said he tried to kill some of his comrades. We had to put him down." "Tell me more," growled the witch. Blargetha choked out everything she knew, telling them about how they'd found those men–looking as though wild-animals had eaten them. She told of how the sick man had wanted to eat his comrades.

"Ghouls," muttered the witch, as she released the spell. Blargetha fell to the ground with a wet-splat, her squishy body absorbing a great deal of the impact, though she didn't really look to have enjoyed that. "Ghouls attacked the supplies," she muttered. "Convenient for Finn..." "There's more," hissed Blargetha. "I... Finn... He moved as if he'd never lost his sword..." Sugarlump howled, "but I had my hands on that sword! I know we snatched it!" "Saw it with my own eyes," wheezed the battered slime-woman. Maja, who'd been barely paying attention to the exchange, now turned to their spymaster.

"You said his power was tied to that sword," growled the witch. Reflexively, Orzsebet the Agent Princess took a step backwards. Not that it would have helped her escape the witch's reach, mind you. "Everyone knows this," said Orzsebet. "The Grand Master of Wizard City placed a magic spell on his sword to help him defeat the invaders." "The Quicksilver Curse," Maja muttered. "He didn't place a spell on that fucking sword. He put a curse on the man himself!" Grabbing at her wavy, dark hair, the witch began to pace. "How is he still _alive_ ," she demanded? The curse had been put on him _decades_ ago! He should have been reduced to a husk within a few years of being cursed! Her foe should be long dead, but somehow he was alive and quite vigorous if he was banging eleven bitches. "Keep the siege on the sluts in the forest," growled the witch. "I need to think."

Back in the Candy Kingdom, the people of Bonnie's court were throwing a celebratory party to hail the successful defense of the kingdom. Finn, their guest of honor, was in Bonnie's apartments, getting fitted out with a hand-made suit. Lollipop stood measuring and re-measuring her hubby and generally fussing over him. Much like the beautiful dress she'd crafted for Fionna, the suit was elegant and almost transformative. Even half-finished, it made the big man look kingly and _regal_ of bearing.

Sarah thought he looked sexy. She'd been sort of hanging around all morning in spite of the headache she had developed. "You could help," Lollipop teased, "instead of hanging around making moon eyes..." The android laughed and said, "part of playing hookey is not replacing the work you're avoiding with something else." Both women had a laugh about that, which Finn was grateful for. He'd been wondering how they would make this work and found himself delighted that things went so well.

Bonnie came in just then, and she looked surprised to see Sarah. "Aren't you supposed to be in the lab," asked the candy monarch? "Taking a break," Sarah replied. Turning to Finn, the android flippantly opined, "your wife is a slave-driver, babe..." Rising, she strolled over to Finn, took his face in her hands, and gave him a heated kiss. When she let the big man go, Lollipop giggled, "gee, thanks... You just made it _harder_ to fit his pants!" Giving Bonnie a sweet smile, Sarah strolled out, completely oblivious to the way the bubblegum princess's face froze. When the android-girl had gone, Lollipop opined, "you're working her too hard, Bonnie. She's having those headaches again..." Bonnie smoothly blew her off with, "I'll look into it when it becomes a problem. I need an answer to the artificial meat problem. The wood-nymphs will start eyeing _my_ citizens before long..."

Lollipop shut up. Bonnie had her there, and she knew it. Moving on, the princess said, "time for your daily briefing. You ready?" Finn, who had immediately become alarmed at Lollipop's words, found himself deflected. He was a little out of his depth with some of this. Bonnie's daily sessions were helping some. "Ok, Peebles," he said, "let's get at it..." He'd be looking in on Sarah later.

Bonnie began with an assessment of the Barrier. It was working fairly well, though Nadia had been forced to shut it down twice so Fionna could fix a couple of under-performing nodes. "She'll have to shut it down in a couple of weeks to refuel it," said Bonnie, "but for the moment we've got breathing space..." Blargetha's troops had tried blasting through it, but the barrier's powerful charge had blasted the projectiles right out of the air. "What about efforts to reach Wildberry," Finn asked? It was another of those 'New Finn' changes she was struggling with. Her familiar old Finn would have torn a swath through their enemies, and she reminded him of that. Coolly, Finn replied, "Wildberry isn't a brainless monster smashing the village down the road, PB, and her peeps aren't goblins."

Slipping her arms around him from behind, Bonnie whispered, "I know, baby. It's just... Cherry may be right. We may not be able to secure a true peace with her..." Finn reminded his wife, "but we have to try..." And the big man proceeded to remind her of all the people who were being impacted and all the suffering this unnecessary and pointless war was causing. The reminder came almost like a slap in the face to someone who'd been manipulating him all his life. He was harder than he'd ever been, and she again found herself being challenged by 'New Finn'. Softly, he said, "I have to think about more than the Candy Kingdom, Peebles. This place... _You_ have always been home for me." Which was a very pleasant opening for the hurtful 'but' that she knew was coming. Brushing her arms off, he said, "I'm King of _Ooo_ , Bonnie. Not King of the Candy Kingdom. Not even King of the Kingdoms that support me." "I won't forget again," she sighed. Lollipop announced, "all done, hon. I'll need your pants now." Flushing to his hair, Finn realized that they would always have ways of dragging _him_ back down to earth.

The big man shed the pants, shirt, and jacket in favor of getting dressed to meet with the visitors he now had waiting on him. With Bonnie at his side and dressed in the least shabby clothing he owned, Finn headed down to the room where Bonnie had been accustomed to meeting the Privy Council. There were Princesses to deal with. On the way, Ragnhild joined them, looking stressed and more than a little angry. "Dessert Princess is here," she said. "Along with Breezy and Abeiuwa. Dessert Princess is going to be presenting a case to join us after stabbing us in the back. Breezy is here to find out what we're doing to protect the Bee Kingdoms..." "...and Jungle Princess wants to play us like Aysun," muttered Finn. It took everything he had not to lapse into swearing. He was working on that. Between his encounters with the Lich and his current status, he'd decided that the habit of swearing like a drunken soldier was a problem. King's didn't lose their cool that way.

The three named women were waiting in the Privy Council's ante-chamber as Finn walked up. All three immediately began speaking. Finn walked right past as if he didn't hear them. With Bonnie and Ragnhild in tow, he went into the Privy Council and shut the door in their faces. Moving to the head of the table, he said, "ok. Breezy's territory is tucked right into the middle of Engagement Ring Kingdom and Muscle Kingdom. We have no army and no way to protect them. What are we doing to keep her support? I need something I can offer that won't see us fighting Yolanda right out the gate." "That's going to get worse with Djanira, Finn," said Ragnhild. "Yolanda's got her backed up against the ocean. If we welcome Djanira back, we pretty much guarantee an unwinnable fight against Muscle Kingdom."

Finn's eyes flicked to Nadia, who simply said, "out of the question." He knew all the shit she'd been through to get her people to build the Tesla Barrier. He couldn't play that card again. He'd asked all he could from Talia. That was another card he really couldn't play. A good chunk of the troops they had were in the Grey Forest. The rest were recovering. And nasty Aysun was still out there with piles of money that could be used to wreck them and change the course of the war. Turning to face the wall, the big man sat lost in thought for a moment. He had an asset, but he didn't trust her. It was his second big crisis in a row, and he was struggling to come up with a way out. He was so deep in the hole right now, he couldn't even see the rim.

"We can't help her," he said. "She's chosen to go it alone. That decision has consequences. For Breezy, we're going to stall for the moment. I have a plan. She's probably not going to like it, but we all have to do what's needed to survive this." "And Jungle Princess," asked Ragnhild? Finn frowned. He knew Abeiuwa was always angling for more power. Her people had plenty of food. They hadn't suffered as a result of the Lich War. It would either be soldiers or money or something else she would tempt them with. "I'll hear what she has to say," he said. "No promises. No decisions." Turning to Peppermint Butler, he said, "send in Djanira."

Dessert Princess looked as though she hadn't slept in _days_. Her eyes looked haunted, and Finn was reminded of how she'd been at the start of the Lich War when word had come of the Lich's attack on the Fluffy People. Part of him understood why she'd run on them. He pitied her for the losses she'd seen. At the same time, he had to harden his heart. She'd bailed on them when they needed help the most. All the princesses who'd walked out had held the power to shut this whole thing down. If they'd all stayed together as a block, they could have easily squashed the hard core of Wildberry's faction. Instead, they'd chosen to save their own skins.

Striding up to him, the terrified princess dropped an elegant curtsy and greeted him with, "my King..." Coldly, Finn said, "no. Not _your_ King. I would have been if you'd chosen to stay." She flinched, and her face froze over. "Your cowardice put all of Ooo in danger," he said. "I _can't_ sacrifice the lives of those who stood behind me to save you. Not now. If you want to return to the fold, you're going to have to work for it. That means you'll be going it alone for a while." "I... you...," stammered the princess. When she would have thrown a Royal-Fit, Finn cut her off, saying, "you can scream all you want, but _you_ did this, Djanira. You and all those other idiots who ran. Now I have to clean up the mess. That won't be quick, and it sure won't be easy. Your cowardice cost the lives of hundreds of Bonnibel's people already. Someday I'll be able to welcome you back. I'll be glad to see you return before this council. That day is not today. I advise you to walk small and do your best not to antagonize Yolanda. She's going to be rather busy in the coming months, so hopefully you'll do alright. You may go." Head down, she nodded, and he realized that it was only what she'd realized herself already. This had been a play of desperation. His heart wanted to comfort her, but he knew better. The lesson would only take if it came hard.

Breezy was next. His 'bro' was much like he remembered her. She was tall as he was, though much thinner and with a shockingly narrow waist. Shockingly, he'd come to realize very late in life that Breezy had a butt to die for. An oval face with perfect, pouty lips and eyes like pools of liquid darkness completed the image. Broad hips wig-wagging back and forth, the bee-woman strode towards him. Rising, Finn greeted her with, "hey, B. How you been?" Taking her hand, he pulled her into a 'bro' hug. When he let go, her eyes wanted to slide away from his face.

Things had been a little awkward between them since Cherry had let the cat out of the bag in Froyo Kingdom. "B," he said. "It's me. We're still..." "Bro's," she finished? "I'm not sure I can believe that..." "Let me prove it," he said. "I know why you're here. You're here because Yolanda's prowling on your border. I'm headed down to Engagement Ring Kingdom to see my son and meet my grandson. I'm'a do some deals while I'm there. Come with me. We'll get this stuff sorted out while I'm down there. Deal?" She frowned at him for a moment. Glancing away, she said, "alright. I'll go with you. When do we leave?" "Tomorrow," he said. "Borrowing Ragnhild's train." "I'm sure you have other business," she said. "We can speak later."

When Breezy left, Jungle Princess came in. The teal-skinned beauty had always been a looker, but Finn had always had to be wary of her aggressive nature and hunger for power. Abeiuwa came dressed in a more conservative version of her usual garb, including a hide-dress that went to her knees along with piles of golden chains and bangles around her neck and down both arms. Head high, the prideful princess strode up to him and offered the shallowest of bows. "I am told you are made king in the north," said she. "I offer you praise and good wishes, o-king." _But no recognition of authority,_ thought Finn. Smiling the whole time, he offered her a seat and refreshments.

While they sipped at ice-cold soda, Abeiuwa directed one of her bodyguards to step forward. When he was standing before them, she held out her hand, at which time he put handed her his spear. Laying the spear on the table, Abeiuwa said, "our Assegai can launch four javelin before requiring the fitting of a new haft. These javelin are razor sharp and capable of piercing any animal-hide armor and even steel. Even after firing all its javelin, the Assegai makes an effective spear for close combat." "Cool," said Finn, as he took up the weapon. Aiming at the statue of Bonnie's uncle Gumbald in the corner, he depressed the firing stud. A javelin shot out like a bolt from the blue and pierced the statue through and through. Laying the spear-gun on the table, the big man asked, "how's your husband doing? You guys still thinking about kids?"

That was how the rest of the meeting went, with the proud princess of the south doing her best to broach the idea of _renting_ soldiers to the King of Ooo while Finn kept things firmly in the realm of small talk. He talked about everything _but_ the conflict with Wildberry's faction. In the end, he ended the meeting by thanking her for the visit and professing that he would think about all that she had said. In the now, he had to meet with the council. As Bonnie, Nadia, and Ragnhild watched, a visibly frustrated Jungle Princess walked out just as she'd come in. It took every thing the three princesses had to avoid howling laughter until Peppermint Butler returned to assure them Abeiuwa had gone.

Bonnie and Nadia both kissed their husband. Then it was time to get to work. They weren't out of the woods. More to the point, those three had been only the _first_ of Finn's official visitors. There would be others stopping by to beg help or make demands. They needed to get their official house in order before that happened.

As the Privy Council discussed their next moves, two former members got a dreadful wakeup call. Breakfast Princess had spent a pretty sad evening with an empty, rumbling stomach and a cold slab of stone for a bed. Now, as she sat huddled in near-darkness, her mind going in slow circles of fear, worry, and regret, noise outside announced that things were getting considerably worse. She could hear soldiers filling the hall. A corner of her mind–an ugly, vile little corner–feared they had come for her at last and ernestly wished they would visit their ugly desire on Strudel instead. Another corner of her mind prayed for an opening–any opening. If she couldn't escape, she would have taken death.

She heard the guards as they opened Toast's door. Shaking her cell door violently, the eldest sister pleaded with the guards to leave her beloved sister alone. "Shut your mouth," growled the guard at her door, "or I might shut it for you..." Breakfast listened in terror as the men hauled her sister out of her cell. Then, moments later, they were opening hers. Panicked, Breakfast fought like a lion–until she was shoved face-first into the wall. The guards very nearly broke her jaw, and they shackled her so tightly she feared her hands would fall off.

Both princesses were hauled up out of their own dungeon and into the palace courtyard. There Breakfast got her first good look at Toast. The middle sister had a black eye, bruises up and down both arms, and yet more just visible under the torn and tattered dress she wore. Breakfast burst into tears. As her tears fell like rain, a new voice demanded, "where are you taking them?!" Rushing down the stairs, Strudel shouted, "they were to remain here with me! She promised!" Ignoring her as one ignores the impotent, the guards hauled Toast across to the wagon they'd brought. On the back were two cramped wooden boxes with locks on the doors.

Seeing that, Strudel shouted, "you won't take them! I forbid it!" The lead guard backhanded her hard enough to split both lips and knock her down. The evil mercenary leered at the youngest sister and asked, "you really think you're in charge, sweets? Piss off before I give you what we gave that one..." Breakfast told her sister, "let it go. We've lost for now. As long as you're still free, there's still hope." Now she willingly strode over to the wagon to be locked up. She could hear Strudel as they shut the door. Her sister lurched between anguished wails to bitter threats directed at the soldiers. None of it mattered. Breakfast heard the locking of Toast's prison, then felt the wagon lurch into motion. They were going into exile _somewhere_. She prayed to Glob as she'd never prayed before in her life, hoping she and Toast could survive just one more night.

As the sun headed towards the horizon over the Candy Kingdom, Finn the King returned to Bonnie's suite to find Lollipop waiting there with the brand new suit she'd made for him. The tall girl was all smiles as he approached. His eyes studied her critically. She seemed to be sleeping better, and he had some hope she'd moved on from her dealings with his nephew. Smiling back at her, he said, "I love you, baby. Thanks for lookin' out for me." Her face went red, and she giggled like she was young. As the big man studied his new suit, she said, "don't do _too much_ dancing. Tonight's _my_ turn."

Glancing up at her, he saw the gleam in her eye and asked, "you guys work it out?" "So as not to kill you with love and affection," she teased? "Yeah, honey. Drew was starting to get a little irritated about that." "Where is Drew," he asked? "I haven't seen her the whole time I've been back." "Oh, she'll be at the party, I'm sure," Lollipop replied. "Gotta' go!" Finn suddenly found himself staring at her retreating back. Not that he minded. She still had a nice butt. Something strange was going on, though. He just hoped they let him in on the story before things got serious.

After taking a hot shower, the big man got dressed and headed down to the celebratory party. It was a little crazy to think about celebrating now, but he knew Bonnie's peeps needed it. More to the point, it would make him look strong when he felt anything but. Arriving in the grand hall, he found more than two hundred people jammed in, with everyone enjoying the refreshments, the entertainment on the stage, and even a little dancing. Seeing happy people dancing, he thought of Simone and E and all the times they'd danced in this place, and he knew a moment's grief for the life he'd left behind. The moment passed, though. There was no time for regrets when he had eleven wives and nearly that many kids that needed him. Putting a smile on his face, he kept on walking, doing the meet and greet.

As he made his way through the crowd, exchanging pleasant words with those he met, _she_ attached herself to his arm. "Good evening, my King," Ingrid greeted him. "Evening, GP," he replied. Stroking his arm, she said, "you fought well, my King. It was an unusual strategy, but I have to congratulate you." Finn thanked her for her timely assistance and apologized for being a boor. The beautiful woman merely smiled and kissed his cheek. Finn said nothing at all as Warrior Princess clung to his side while he slipped carefully through the crowd.

There seemed to be a few dozen angry, jealous women watching them along with a pack of men afflicted by the same emotion. Ingrid smiled archly at one and all, though Finn seemed oblivious to all of it. Halfway through the hall the pair encountered daughters Fionna and Star. The older of the pair looked dapper in a ankle-length dress in pale blue over frilly petticoats in white lace. Golden piping at her collar and down the front of her bodice suggested the uniform of an officer. Twined into her unruly golden locks was a pearl hair comb that reminded Ingrid of rabbit ears. Her younger sibling came dressed in a deep indigo number that hugged tight to her delicious little body, though dashes of silver on collar and sleeves and a silver badge on the belt she wore suggested she too was a soldier. Both greeted the big man with a poignant, " _daddy_."

Hugging the older girl, the big man said, "I'd hoped to see you before you left." "Of course, father," she replied. "We still need to consider our joint strategy and how my troops' position can be bolstered against our adversary." Finn didn't react at all. They had held a family conference about this, and it had gone straight in the ditch. Things had started out with the whole family coming down hard on Patrick for meddling–all but Sarah–and ended with Simone and Cherry in tears and Fionna coldly telling them all that it was past time she grew up. Finn still wanted Drew to look at his daughter, but he had to find Drew herself first. Fingering the hair-comb, the big man said, "this is very pretty. Where'd Patrick find it?" "Wicked Stepmom," corrected Fionna. "She had it made from some of the junk in her predecessor's apartment."

Finn thought that was ok. Brie was too busy working for Marceline to have time to be offended. The former Mafia Princess had moved on. Star was amused and even mellow as she hugged her father and kissed his cheek. "Looking good, daddy," she opined, as she fussed with his collar. The big man flushed and grinned. Spying a familiar form on the far side of the room, he said, "I gotta' go." Without a further word, he rushed off to where Drew was standing underneath a balcony juggling one of his kids on one hip while she talked to Ragnhild. He left an irritated Ingrid standing there with his daughters. "How are you settling in," asked Fionna?

Ignoring her, Ingrid strode off in a different direction, looking very much like she was going to spy on Fionna's father. The idiot. She was a much more annoying version of Breakfast Princess when she was in full cunt-mode. _Speaking of which,_ thought Fionna, as she spied her sister-in-law. French Toast had been in a very raw state since the news came about Breakfast Kingdom falling. "I'm going to see Frenchie," said Fionna, as she stepped off. Star nodded, but her mind was on the impending fireworks. They were looking at two explosions. When their dad found out what they'd been collectively hiding, he was going to lose his shit. Shortly after, Fionna would be joining him.

Indeed, Ragnhild's face went ghost white as her father-in-law approached. Finn grabbed Drew by the shoulder and all but spun her around. His face went ghostly pale when he saw the bandages swathing her injured schnoz. "Baby," he breathed. "What happened to your nose?" Minutes later, the shouting erupted, and Star was on her way 'somewhere else'.

Hundreds of miles away, Wildberry Princess entered her private retreat with the intention of unwinding after the ugly day just experienced. They had gone from conquering the Candy Kingdom and smashing Bonnie to abject failure in just a few hours. She couldn't even be angry at Blargetha. Somehow those bitches had built even more illegal technology to thwart them. If anything, the sour berry felt like this was Maja's fault. She had been in this spot before. She should have anticipated this outcome. If she'd been on the ball, they would have prevented fucking Nadia from building that machine. Instead, they were in the ugly position of having attacked their fellows. They couldn't sweep this under the rug _now_.

The evil berry-woman's meat-bath had been arranged just the way she liked it. The broth was hot but not scalding. Spices had been mixed in, filling the room with pungent aromas. Wildberry unfastened her robe and was in the process of shedding it when a voice arrested her. "Hello, dearie," said Maja. "Getting comfortable?" Wildberry spun about, jerking her robe closed. This evil bitch had no right to be here! As the terrified princess shouted for the guards, Maja held up a glowing hand, saying, "why don't we just calm down?" The sour-berry was arrested in mid-cry, her mind going hazy. "Come along," murmured the witch. The berry-woman found her body _floating_ as Maja turned to leave. A corner of her hazy, dreamy mind was offended that the witch used _her_ secret passage to reach _her_ meat-sauna, but the thought got lost in the haze of soft, fuzzy feeling.

Days after the ugly confrontation over Drew's injuries and the sudden revelation that pretty much everybody in the family had known–and hidden it–Finn the human sat down to breakfast in Ragnhild's formal salon looking more lost than angry. Betty would have to say it was an epic blowout–worthy of Simon the few times he'd lost his temper. They had been in a bit of a snit since with neither side backing down. Finn had slept in Bonnie's office and the girls had spent the night fuming–and crying–in little groups all over town. It had helped not at all that Fionna revealed Sarah's headaches and the fact that Bonnie would do nothing about them. The big man had tried to forbid the android woman from working and gotten a dose right back as Sarah showed him flashes of the independence Bonnie had come to hate.

Sitting with Ragnhild, Lollipop, Breezy, and Cherry at the other end of the car, Betty watched her husband stew in his misery. As usual nobody had managed to make the leap to understand how _he_ felt. _You have to fix this,_ Betty decided. It was a pretty safe bet nobody else understood how to. Picking up her plate, she got up, went down to Finn's end of the car, and sat down. "Hey," he greeted her. "Hey," she replied. "Thought we could talk." "Listening," Finn responded.

Reaching out, she tipped his face up so that he was looking at her. "Finn," she said. "Remember all those things you said to me in the Lich's lair?" Frowning, the big man nodded. He'd been pretty raw at the time, and he'd said some things he might never have said to her. "I'm glad you did," she said. "I needed to understand because nobody teaches women what it's like for men to _be_ men. We get a lot of bad programming, and we tell each other lies about what we think men are about. Now... I need to tell _you_ some things. Babe, you need to understand what women are about." Finn sat up a little straighter.

"We're not helpless," she said. "Yeah, we squeal when we see the spider on the table, and we duck behind you when there's an icky mouse because we want you to deal with it. We do that because... we're _users_. We... use men to handle all the stuff we'd really rather not be bothered with. It's a strategy that's been working for thousands of years, and it probably won't ever really stop..." Finn's jaw dropped open. Nodding, blushing a little, Betty said, "but we do know how to love, Finn. My fool of a son once thought that was impossible, but we do have that in our hearts. We can be just as loyal as any man, and we can see when our man has too much shit on his back..."

He was staring her straight in the eyes now. Smiling back, Betty said, "babe, all of us can see how much you're struggling. There hasn't been a day where somebody hasn't cussed Nadia or thought of slapping Emeraude, because we love you, and we all see how hard you're trying to take care of us. And so now we have to be grownups too. Our family–really our whole _world_ –needs us to act our ages for a change. That means..." "Sometimes you get hurt too," he rumbled. "Yeah, Finn," she sighed, "and it also means that you have to learn to handle that without losing it. You're a hard man. You're one of the hardest men I've ever known. Now you have to be a different kind of hard. You have to let us meet our own fates, just like you had to let Djanira deal with hers."

"I'm sorry I lost my temper," he sighed. "You love us," Betty replied. "Let's get back to showing how much we love each other. We'll be in town soon, but you've got a little time to call Bonnie and Sarah and the others..." Finn nodded. His face brightened, and he began to look a bit more like the man she'd fallen in love with. In short order, Ragnhild, Lollipop, Breezy, and Cherry were at the table with them, and the family began to draw together once more–a united front against the darkness.

The train pulled into the station at half-past-nine, and there was a rather sizable welcome waiting on them. Finn, dressed in some of the finery that his wife had made for him, came down the stairs of the train to the cheers of the crowd, finding his most wayward of children there waiting on him. Just like his momma, Marshall Lee was laying it all out there with a long, dark coat on over his narrow frame and a broad-brimmed hat shielding his face from the sun. Finn was irritated enough to cuss him. He didn't like it when Marceline risked death like this, and he wasn't any more enthused about it now. "Finn," Marshall greeted him. "Marshall," Finn replied. Betty wasn't having any of that. She rushed forward and enthusiastically hugged the young man, telling him how much she'd missed him.

Cherry and Lollipop had to have their turns hugging the Vampire King, which sort of took him down a couple of notches in front of the folk of Engagement Ring Kingdom. For most of the people gathered there, Marshall Lee was the dark, mysterious force that had seduced their Princess and come to control their lands with an iron fist. To see this _human_ side of him shocked some and made others actually laugh. Ingrid, who'd spent much of the trip trying to slip into Finn's bed while it was unoccupied, could only stand off to one side and fume. Marshall Lee had a couple of cars waiting there, and the Ring Guard swept the King of Ooo and his entourage into the cars, where the ladies found Engagement Ring Princess waiting. Finn found himself riding with his son.

As the cars set out, the younger man immediately went straight at his father, demanding, "what gives? I told you we were sitting this out. Why're you here?" "Do some deals," Finn replied. "On neutral ground. You guys being neutral actually is a help here. I'm hoping to talk to Wildberry and Yolanda and talk them down from this stupid war." The Vampire King actually stared at him in surprise. And then, suddenly, he got it. He understood his father like he'd never understood before. If Finn was the ultimate good in the world of Ooo, then sometimes that good meant doing something that seemed, on its face, unnatural. Maybe the sword wasn't the answer this time.

"You been spending too much time with Bonnie," the younger man chuckled. "Can't spend the time I want with your mom," Finn retorted. "She's working on some hush-hush project that she won't talk about." Marshall, who'd been _victim_ of many of his mother's secrets over the years, muttered curses under his breath. They didn't need any more secret shenanigans out of his mom. She'd promised change, and she was backsliding. More to the point, he wanted to see his sisters. That was another promise that was getting broken. Finn's face seemed to say that this too was going to pass. He was working on it. And they had a bit of time yet before he was too old for things to matter.

Upon arrival at the palace, the Vampire King took over entertaining the ladies from his wife, while Connie and the King of Ooo sat down to break bread with her cabinet. The cabinet, who'd been very unhappy at the arbitrary declaration of the Vampire King, were chaffing about the edict and champing at the bit to involve themselves in the wider world. There were long-term grievances with Muscle Kingdom. There were a few tiny bandit-realms along the coast that had needed smashing for years. There was the no-man's land between their domain and Purple Kingdom, and there were the incessant raids with Warrior Kingdom to deal with. And, of course, there was the endless desire to annex and subjugate the Bee-People to the northwest.

Finn absorbed most of that with an unshakable serenity that left Constance Leyton uneasy. Then, when the shouting and the endless list of demands wound down, the big man calmly said, "I'm not here to change your neutrality..." Nodding at Constance, he said, "there is no place in my government for an immortal vampire. Mine is a government of mortal men and women. That's just the way things have to be." Which was the exact thing Constance had told them when she vowed to abdicate. Moving on, Finn said, "you have the perfect position in all of this. You're neutral. Your land is the one place all the interested parties can meet without coming to blows. I don't want to change that, and neither should you. War is ugly. I've seen more of it than I want to, and I don't wish that for you or anyone else."

Turning to the woman at his right, Finn told Ingrid, "your soldiers will have far more important things to deal with than hassling the Ring Guard. We're going to spend the next couple of hours coming to an understanding. You and Constance are going to sign that agreement, and there will be no more illegal gerrymandering of the border." Ingrid's mouth came open, but Finn calmly said, "in or out, Ingrid. Make a decision now. This is how it has to be. I don't have time or resources to fight a neutral kingdom over pride." Muttering curses, she nevertheless nodded her agreement.

Hundreds of miles away, Wildberry awoke with a start in her own bed. Sitting up, she looked around her in a panic and found that the sun was up. She'd lost _hours_! The last thing she remembered was going to her meat-sauna the previous night, and now she'd woken up here in bed! Climbing out from beneath the sheets, she rushed to the window to look out. In the courtyard, she found the troops–her troops–marshaling as if they were getting ready to move out! Panicked now, the princess rushed to the bell-pull, only to see her butler come into the Royal Suite with a dress and underwear.

"Lady Maja says that you must be prepared," announced the butler. "Your carriage is being brought 'round as we speak, so we don't have a lot of time, Your Highness..." Face gone red hot–how _dare_ that wench order her around–Wildberry shouted, "I'm not going anywhere!" "Yeah," said Maja, "you are, dearie." She was standing at the door to the secret passage, and Wildberry vaguely remembered this woman putting her to sleep. As the princess gave a squeak of fear, Maja told her, "dear, _sweet_ Finn has offered to _work it out_ in Engagement Ring Kingdom. Now, chop-chop, dearie. I'm sure he'll be _stunned_ to see what you look like now. Maybe you might get laid. Of course, with that cunty personality, maybe not." The witch's face looked amused, but there wasn't a lick of humor in her eyes. Remembering the beating Blargetha had gotten, Wildberry gulped down her pride and rushed to the bathroom. There were worse things than going on a sudden trip. More to the point, their _partnership_ was becoming more and more one-sided every day. The sooner she got Maja back _out_ of her life, the better off she would be.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26:

Boniface Bubblegum woke up to the beautiful face of his wife and, for once, found himself happy. Fionna had given him a blistering dressing-down about his work habits, reminding the young Prince that he had more obligations than the Candy Kingdom and that there was more to life than work down in the lab. He had a wife that he'd agreed to marry and a child into the bargain. Looking into her eyes, and realizing just how alone and frightened she'd been, the tall man felt like a fool. He'd neglected her. Rolling onto his side, he brushed her face with his fingers and said, "I'm sorry..." Giggling a little, she said, "you've apologized sixteen times already..." "Just sixteen," he asked? And that made her laugh again. As he leaned forward to kiss her and apologized a few more times, Peppermint Butler rushed into the room, shouting, "Your Highness! Your Highness!"

Boniface Bubblegum cursed the little manservant. Honestly, he came very close to belting him. This likely would have been the first time in two months that he and Frenchie had made love. This idiot could have waited just fifteen more minutes! Excitedly, the butler said, "there's a riot going on in Chocago!" Bon frowned. "What," he demanded? "W-why?" "Ms. Star has gone to investigate," said the Butler. "Your mother wishes you to go and catch up with her. It's all _very_ unpleasant." Scrubbing his fingers through his sticky hair, the tall man muttered curses. Frenchie said, "go and shower, honey. I'll get Jean ready." Bon frowned at her, but Frenchie merely said, "from now on, where you go, _we_ go. You need something to ground you, honey. So you live life instead of just working all the time."

Bon went in and washed while his wife got their son ready to travel. The minute he got out, he took over the job of managing Jean while Frenchie went in to take her own shower. An hour after start, they were headed for the train-station with Peppermint Butler telling them everything that had been learned about the Chocago Riots. "It's worse than anything since the Prophet," said the little manservant. "Ms. Star has been up all night getting the city under control. Seventeen blocks burned total, and they're still assessing casualties." Frowning, the young prince asked, "do we know what started it? James has been dead for _years_." There should be no reason at all for people to be rioting in the streets. Sarah's work with the food bank had paid dividends, and now they were exporting food again. Peppermint Butler replied, "Ms. Star could tell you better than I... I'm just to get you down to the train." And that was just what he aimed to do.

Driving rather rudely–cutting off other drivers and generally terrifying Frenchie–the little butler got them to the train station where a special train sat waiting. Bon checked in with the crew and the officer of the Banana Guard who was their escort while his wife got their son settled in their private car. In the not-so-distant past, they would have simply jumped in his car and driven themselves. At worst, they might have had a servant take them. With Wildberry stirring trouble and a war going on, it was a little too dangerous to be out in the wilds between towns alone. The train was a safer bet. When he had chatted with the master of the train and their guards, Bon joined his wife in their private car to enjoy the breakfast they'd missed while he tried to settle his mind and read the fragment of a report his sister had sent.

Down in Engagement Ring Kingdom, Finn the King sat down before a substantial group of nobles at one of the swankiest eateries in town. Ingrid had been in a snit this morning. Again. Still. She'd been waiting at the door to his room last night in a nightgown, and he'd had to put her off again. Fact was that this wasn't the time, and, more to the point, he didn't really trust her. There was something _off_ there. It was crazy. She was one of the prettiest women he knew, and he had absolutely no interest in doing her at all. He had _permission_ to screw the shit out of her. Hell, Cherry and Bonnie were egging him on to do it for _information_. Maybe she was trying too hard. That was kind of a crazy idea when he thought about Nadia's efforts to win him over, but his dislike of Ingrid was sort of like his dislike of Breakfast and her antics. Fortunately, she'd taken the hint, and now he could focus on one of the key pieces of business that had brought him here.

They were seven. Seven men sat down around him at the table wearing the arrogance of the wealthy like coats. Their eyes seemed to suggest that they had him outnumbered and outmanned. After all, he wore a preposterous title, but he was the same old country-bumpkin that everyone had heard of. It wasn't as if he could draw his fabled sword and just _murder_ them. On his side, Finn sat down, brought out the small bag he'd sent Star to the Treehouse for, and fished out a small jar. The table was set with spicy sausages out of Breakfast Kingdom, tasty breadfruit out of Purple Kingdom, and yummy Yogurt-cakes out of Froyo kingdom. As the men watched in astonishment, Finn cracked the seal on the jar and spread a smear of iridescent-gold honey on the hotcakes, the breadfruit slices, and even the sausages.

The aroma set their mouths to watering. Honestly, Finn himself could easily have forgotten everything he was supposed to be doing here at the scent. Calmly, he picked up a piece of sausage and nibbled on it. It was good not to have too much. "That's Grand Honey," burbled Victor Hernandez. He was the wealthiest of these men and the most likely to have tasted this. Finn rarely got to have any. He had a whole _case_ of the stuff. Breezy had sent him a jar a year for the last twenty years. After one epic blowout where he, Jake, and Lady had gotten completely snockered on the stuff, he never used more than a dab. His family had managed to get through three whole jars across sixteen years.

Nibbling on his sausage, Finn acknowledged the old man's guess. "Y-you have Grand Honey," babbled Isaac Cortez? With a shrug, the King replied, "yeah, man. The Queen Bee is my bro. Know what I mean?" Several faces there flushed. It was known throughout the civilized kingdoms that Finn the Human counted some of the most beautiful–and wealthy–women in the world as his lovers. Sitting back in his chair, nibbling at the sausage–feeling its intoxicating effects steal over him, Finn waved his hand magnanimously over the feast on the table, saying, "eat up." He hefted the bag and said, "got plenty of it myself." Isaac howled, " _plenty_?! Th-they never give up their bounty! We've come near to war trying to con..." Victor stomped on his foot. Reaching out, he picked up a piece of breadfruit. That got all seven men filling their plates.

As they helped themselves, Finn patiently waited. Part of the trick was for them to get a little more snockered than he would be. It didn't take much. He knew exactly how they would feel. Energized–like they could run a marathon or walk on water. They would feel the flush of excitement almost to the point of being giddy. He hadn't slept for _days_ after he, Jake, and Lady had eaten too much. Finn had practically worn BMO out playing game after game hour after hour. Drew had forbidden them from doing that again and very nearly confiscated all the honey in the house. He was much more careful now, and the kids had gotten very little growing up. "Need a favor," said the big man. Already feeling the effects of the honey, Victor Hernandez shouted, "name it! Anything you need!" Smiling, Finn said, "some dudes from Muscle Kingdom are hassling my bro..."

Miles away in the Royal Palace, Ingrid the Warrior Princess lay sleeping after a long night of drinking. She'd come back from Finn's quarters feeling rejected and angry and ended up polishing off a bottle of wine to drown her sorrows. Now she lay lost in slumber having finally managed to drift off. The tall princess had drifted in and out of various dreams across the night, and now, in the late morning hours, one more came creeping up on her consciousness.

The proud woman found herself walking through a well-lit door in a state of victorious euphoria. In spite of the trials of her life, she was _vindicated_. Stepping through the pale door, she searched around her, looking for the warrior's welcome that she had been taught to expect when she finally reached the heavens. Instead, she found herself in utter darkness. In the dim light, she found herself alone with only the dank scent of death and the heat of a forge for company. "This isn't the heavens," howled the tall beauty! A sinister voice replied, "but you didn't really _deserve_ heaven, did you? I mean, killing your own mother over the throne is a cosmic crime, Ingrid."

The warrior-woman came awake with a terrified shriek, finding herself alone in her cold bed. Heart pounding, she clutched at her chest. And then the pain came back, just like it always did. Reaching down to her side, the fallen princess touched the place where her traitorous lover had stabbed her with his dagger. To her horror, her fingers came back bloody. Running into the bathroom, the tall woman practically tore off the nightgown as she rushed to the mirror. There was nothing there. Not even a scar. The place where Clarence had pierced her heart was sheathed in hard muscle and flawless skin. A voice from her nightmare whispered, "you know what you need to do, Ingrid. Get it done." Whirling around her, she searched for the source of that voice, but she was alone. She couldn't really be sure she'd even heard it.

As Ingrid began the process of pulling herself together after that horrifying dream, hundreds of miles beyond the wastelands, Nadia's people were waking up to a nightmare of their own. Sasha Koroliev had flown from the southern jungles with a load of fine hardwood for building supplies in the capitol, and he'd come sailing down out of the sky at a border village to refuel before journeying onward. Settling onto the airstrip, he climbed out of the pilot's seat and headed down to the ramp to help his son and brother with the refueling. It was a routine part of being an airship captain.

Arriving at the ramp, he found his family gathered at the door, staring out at the world beyond. "Mikhail," he called out. "Vladmir? What are you doing?" It was his wife, Ludmilla, who answered. Turning to her husband of thirty years, she declared in horrified tones, "Sasha... th-they're dead..." Stunned, the family patriarch rushed forward. Shoving his son aside, he peered out onto the airfield. Sure enough there were bodies scattered across the parking area. Decisively, he shouted, "seal the hatch! Decontamination procedures _now_!"

Rapid response units got flown into the little border outpost in response to the Korolievs' distress call. Planes and ground vehicles alike brought medical supplies and decontamination equipment. Fanning out from the airfield, rescue workers searched the town and its surroundings for signs of what had caused the deaths. By late afternoon, it was clear that the entire town had died, but nobody was entirely sure how or what to do about it. Late that evening, as Finn's entourage was preparing for an evening of dancing at a nobleman's house, Nadia's phone rang.

Excusing herself, the half-dressed cyborg went into one of the bedrooms to take the call while her companions finished dressing. As Ragnhild and Betty watched, Lollipop and Cherry fussed over Finn, exchanging loving banter with him–and with each other strangely enough. Both came in conservative gowns in a local style as if to suggest that they no longer needed to put themselves out there like the sweet young things here at Constance's court. They enjoyed a remarkable serenity, but then they had their husband. Ragnhild envied the four of them in spite of the fact that they were _sharing_ a man. Phone service in Lizard Kingdom was patchy at best, and it was absolutely _awful_ on the frontier. Ragnhild hadn't spoken to Billy in _days_. The time apart was killing her.

As Cherry fastened Finn's ascot, Nadia came out of the bathroom, her face gone very pale. Lollipop immediately noticed the change and opined, "you look like you've seen a ghost." Dropping into a chair, the curvy woman murmured, "a village on my border was found emptied of people. Someone's killed everyone there." Finn's head whipped around, and his jaw came open. Shortly, going to a party was the last thing on anybody's mind. Calls to Froyo Kingdom and the Candy Kingdom brought news of other tragedies. Using his phone, Ragnhild's, and Nadia's to conference in everyone, Finn organized an emergency meeting to find out just what was going on.

"It was some kind of spontaneous hysteria, father," Boniface explained. "It seemed to have its epicenter at an outdoor mall... Two men began quarreling, and the riot exploded from there..." Nadia's ministers erupted in Grid Person speech, and Finn knew immediately what that was about. They were more concerned with maintaining their own power than figuring out what happened. Coolly, the big man interrupted them in their own language, pointing out, "you do realize I can understand you, right?" An irritated Nadia said, "some of the people in the village look to have been fighting with each other." Ragnhild's ministers had a similar report to make,

Frowning, Finn said, "so the question is how are they doing it?" The princesses didn't follow that leap of logic, but Betty did. "Bon," she said, "you're going to need to do an autopsy on one or more corpses. Pay special attention to neuro-chemistry and brain structure..." Nadia, who still didn't follow, asked, "mind sharing?" Betty replied, "what Fearless Hubby is thinking is that Wildberry and her friends whipped up something to use on your citizens. In my time there were dozens of substances capable of doing this. With access to Maja's knowledge, our pals may have synthesized one of them..."

Nadia's minister opined, "it has to be something they put in the water..." At Betty's frown, Finn reminded her, "Grid-Face people wear their masks all the time, Bets..." Drumming on the table with his fingers, the big man seemed lost in thought. Nadia was moving on. She wanted to know why they would do this. "Keeps us occupied," said Finn. "Off balance. We slobberknocked them with that barrier idea. They were planning to wipe Bonnie's kingdom off the map, divide up the spoils, and then start picking the rest of you off one at a time. Now that whole plan's been blown out of the water, and we're in a pretty good spot right now. They can't get an army past the barricade, and we can concentrate our few troops at Ragnhild's border or at the Candy Kingdom's southern border. We've got Ingrid as our wild-card in _their_ backyard. With all her dudes forted up in their towns, her lands are a pretty tough nut to crack." And while they _could_ go after Alexia and Noemi, both were a little bit too remote for the moment.

Standing up, Finn told his son, "start on finding what it was that they used. Then start tracking it back to the person who put it in the water or whatever. The Grid-Face people and Froyo dudes should do the same. We'll get back to you in the morning." Nadia shot to her feet, saying, "and what do we do _now_?" With a shrug, Finn said, "we go dancing. Like things couldn't be better. That's how we fool them. Let them see _strength_ where they expect to see panic." Cherry didn't miss a beat. He was right, and she knew it. Hadn't he done just that with her? He'd shown her all that formidable strength, never showing a moment where he was down and beaten. _There's an_ attraction _there,_ she thought. Men and women alike favored a strong man. This could win back some of the kingdoms that had fled from them. Rising, she offered her husband her arm, saying, "well, I guess that's that. Let's dance."

Hundreds of miles to the north of Laurel Kingdom, Billy the Human sat fretting over his strained marriage, his pregnant wife, and his stepson while he dodged his host's fast hands. He'd had another of those unpleasant epiphanies since coming here. Somehow, some way, he'd become a surrogate for his father. Now all the vapid fools who had chased Finn the Human with all their energy were suddenly chasing _Billy_. He'd seen a few hints of it earlier with really suggestive hints thrown at him by Toast Princess. Now, with him married to Ragnhild, others were getting ideas.

Hamest the Lizard Princess had been suggesting that Ragnhild 'didn't need to know' for days now. Billy had done everything but tell her to fuck off because he knew girls just weren't satisfied with that. Bonnie had dragged his father first into cheating and then down the messed up road they were on because 'friends with bennies' wasn't enough. Billy was determined not to make the same mistakes. He didn't have a history with these women after all. _He_ hadn't gone to Tier 10 with Hamest.

"So _this_ is where I find you," announced a familiar voice. Billy did his best not to flinch, though he really wanted to yell at his dad. Did the big, blue dufus _really_ have to come within a hair of screwing every princess on Ooo in his misspent youth?! It seemed like the big man had kissed, fondled, and teased every girl he came across in his teens. Apparently he was good enough at it that pretty much none of them forgot it. Billy had gotten a little of this going through Noemi's lands on his way here. It always started the same. The low-cut dresses showing off their charms. Then would come the flirting. Asking about his dad–which was always the first inroad towards asking how _alike_ they were. Nobody ever admitted to having gone down on his dad, but they sure seemed to have a good idea about what it was like, and more than one had suggested they'd be happy to do it for _Billy_.

Hamest came alongside him as he stood staring into the valley. He knew just how she'd look. Her strange, color-shifting skin would be a pale ice-white, as if a lizard nearly six-feet tall with long blonde hair could blend in with the surroundings. _Maybe if she was naked,_ he thought? That thought made him grimace because she'd been suggesting giving him a demonstration of her color-shifting capabilities, and a twisted corner of his mind wondered if she could match the coloration of a human.

Shaking off the dirty thoughts that kept wanting to invade his mind, Billy the Human refocused on the job at hand. They'd been smashing pathetic bands of starving mercs for _weeks_. These guys were coming from northeast of Lizard Kingdom, and they all seemed to have missed the news about stockpiling food. The Lich's artificial winter had done a number on their villages. Billy felt badly about killing them, but there had been few options. At least he hadn't been able to see any until they'd chased the last group up here to this mountain pass.

The Lizard-Folk never came up here. They'd never had a reason to contest these mountains because they were much too cold for Hamest's people to call home. Hamest and her cabinet had been principally interested in dealing with the violent assaults on her people, the endless attempts to just _steal_ food, and the roving bands that used her territory as a highway to the sea. They'd fought the bands on the open plains, trying to reduce the damage and discourage them, and they'd slaughtered hundreds if not thousands. Now Billy had a better idea. His powers couldn't build a permanent barrier across the width of the Lizard-folks' valley, but he could block this key mountain pass. It might take the mercenaries _years_ to work their way around that.

"Came up here to plan how I'm going to do this," Billy lied. He'd honestly come up here thinking that she wouldn't follow. His exposure to the Ice-Tiara left him better able to handle the temperatures in the pass. Hamest had to wear a parka, and it was the height of summer. He had pointed out all the little incongruities of a cold-blooded lizard-woman choosing an ice-wizard as a lover, but she was far more interested in banging her old boyfriend's son. His mother and grandmom called them Cougars, and Billy, after getting the explanation, was inclined to agree. And while he could gleefully have existed on a steady diet of this, he was very happy with his wife and kids and wanted nothing more than that. His dad was in a peculiar sort of hell, and Billy wanted no part of it.

Sliding her arm around his, the still-pretty princess offered, "we're having steak-tartar. Why don't you come along, handsome?" Knowing better than to offend, Billy went along. His brother had blown things back during the Lich-War by being just too honest. At the moment, Billy's dad needed this wench, so he needed to play nice. Still, he would definitely be glad to get home to Ragnhild. Preferably before he did something stupid.

Elsewhere, his father's implacable enemies were meeting to discuss their own plans. The costly defeat at the Grey Forest and the costlier defeat in the Candy Kingdom were causing a bit of strife amongst Maja's rather tenuous allies. Honestly, the witch thought that the pack of them would have gone off to lick their wounds and sulk if she wasn't here to threaten them into carrying on. Unfortunately even threats did little to stop the endless carping and backbiting. Today's gripe was about _her_ lack of contribution to the effort. Both Wildberry and Maudie were in a snit about the fact that she hadn't allowed them to use her pet to circumvent the barricades in the Grey Forest or the Candy Kingdom. The loons.

They were fools without an ounce of rational thought in their pin-shaped heads, and she was perilously close to sanctioning both. Scratching at a journal, the witch calmly said, "you wouldn't know what to do with the War-Elephant if I gave him to you free and clear." Maudie sputtered and spluttered incoherently, while Wildberry was at least able to coherently explain, "we could rain fire and death on them from above! Finn would have no way of reaching the elephant at high altitude..." "For a little while, dearie," retorted Maja, "but he's got the three most brilliant minds on Ooo on his side. A fact that I rather personally and bitterly regret."

Those hard words came as a slap in the face to the two Royals. Coolly, the witch reminded them, "that cow-titted whore is rather deeply besotted with his fat dick. Do you suppose it would be a stretch to see her converting one or more of her people's airships into weapon platforms? A secret weapon is only good when used in a bind. We're not in a bind yet, so the answer is 'no'." "Then give us a weapon we can use in the open," howled Bathilde! Maja rolled her eyes in disgust as Yolanda added, "or are you impotent?" Twirling a lock of her dark, curly hair in one finger, the Sky Witch said, "weapons of power will be needed when we breech the outer defenses. They will throw everything they have at us then. I have weapons I can conjure, but it does us no good to conjure them _now_ and give them time to develop a counter. Rest assured, girls, I _am_ doing something. I have weapons active in their lands as we speak, sowing chaos. As the days go by, they get _weaker_ not stronger." And she would tell them no more. Rising, she headed for the Royal Suite at the end of the train, leaving them to bed down in the servants' quarters in the middle.

Morning found Billy the Human man back on the job, putting together his weapons and gear for the ride up to the summit. The mercenaries were often starved and hungry, and sometimes came escorting families. That meant that they didn't try to move before the conditions were good. That gave the young soldier time to gather his support and head up to the pass. Hamest had kept him busy talking much of the night, hinting and suggesting, clinging and occasionally making him dance with her. He'd kept her at arm's length the whole evening–so much so that he feared she'd have his head a couple of times. In the end, she'd dozed off. Today, he was going to shut down the invasion and get out of here. He hadn't managed to convince any of the Royals here to send troops, but he'd shut down a major source of bodies for the sour berry.

Hamest joined him as he headed out for his horse, looking a little worse for wear. "I think I drank too much," she complained. She'd been doing her best to get _him_ drunk, but Billy knew better. They were both too old for these kinds of games. He'd stopped being naive and stupid when JJ died, and she was old enough to be his mom. Still, flirty as anything, she clung to him as he strapped his weapons onto the horse. It was uncanny the way her fingers changed to a soft, pinkish tone where they stroked the back of his hand. Reaching up, she turned his face to hers and said, "be careful my sweet, sweet hero..." Her long reddish tongue teased at her thin lips as she spoke those words. _Dad,_ he thought, _if you were going to make out with all of them, couldn't you have_ fucked _them too, so they wouldn't be sitting around_ wondering _all these years?_

Disengaging her hands from his, he promised to stop by and say goodbye, then rode out at the head of a substantial column of soldiers. He was hoping he wouldn't need them, but he believed in being safe rather than sorry. Taking their time, they worked their way up the pass, taking the switchbacks and turns carefully in spite of the pleasant weather. The column slowly spread out behind the young soldier simply because the weather was still a little hard on his troops. The Lizard-Folk liked it a great deal warmer than they had it up here. Billy's mind was on his wife and getting out of here to go see her.

As they neared the top of the pass, the big man was a little disconcerted to find that the enemy had managed to shake themselves out a little earlier than he'd imagined they would. They were already trying to climb down towards him. "Bad news, sir," said Hamest's Captain of the Guard. "We should turn back." It was almost immediate. He didn't want to take the chance of fighting the enemy up here. He was much more comfortable fighting them down in the valley amongst his own people on the fertile lands that fed his folk. Billy very nearly punched him.

The ice-wizard's eyes blazed with pale fire as he responded, "you'll die on your feet or dragged home by them. Now charge!" The big man pushed the cowardly captain and his troops up the mountain. Sometimes he cussed. Others he cajoled. Rushing back and forth, he rallied the Lizard Guard to hit the bandits head-on. There was a bitter and ferocious clash of steel on the slopes of the mountain, and fourteen men went down in short order. Still, the shock of the attack surprised the invaders, and Billy pressed them hard.

Bursts of supernatural cold erupted in the enemy's ranks, breaking what little cohesion they had and scattering them. That enabled the much more organized Lizard Guard to push them back up the slope. Relentless as death, Billy the Hero drew down miniature snow squalls that took a toll on the enemy and put the more fearful to flight. It took a lot of concentration to be so precise with the weather so as to avoid freezing his own men to death. It wouldn't take much to kill the Lizard-folk, but fortunately today he was spot on. Moving to the front, the big man led a headlong charge into the pass, bowling over many of the enemy. Even when the lizard-folk faltered, Billy pressed ahead, hurling freezing magic and all but blasting the enemy down the other side.

When the last of the invaders had gone, Billy focused concentrated bursts of cold into the stone, causing slabs of rock to scab off the sides of the mountains and slide down into the pass. He added to the weight of the barricade by infusing every gap and crack with snow and ice. Meanwhile, down at the bottom of the pass, sinister eyes watched as the powerful ice-wizard sealed the passage with an impenetrable wall of rock mortared together with glacial ice. Rober the once-and-former bandit turned to his master and said, "there'll be no breaking through that. Ice doesn't decay..." Suadela Galitisis nodded absently. Her mind was on Finn the Human's son and how beautiful he'd looked yesterday. She'd almost laughed at the sight of the scaly cougar trying to seduce the young, vibrant hero, even as she'd lain in shadow listening to his plan. She'd been tempted to reveal herself. _It was too soon,_ she thought. _It's still too soon._ "Close it down," she said. "Dip the survivors and all their people. We'll move north. Start probing Elbow and Wildberry Kingdom." Acknowledging those orders, her lieutenant moved off to get things moving.

Meanwhile, Billy stood at the top of the pass examining his handiwork. It had been hard going these last few weeks being away from home and dodging Hamest's fast hands. In the end, he'd done it with aplomb, and now it was time to catch a plane home to Ragnhild. Whistling a tune, he turned and headed back down the pass to gather up his horse, his host's troops, and his belongings. He could almost hear his wife's voice, and he was anxious to see little Anders and play with him.

As Billy closed down business in Lizard Kingdom, his father was doing much the same in Engagement Ring Kingdom. It had been a surprisingly productive trip, though Marshall had been out of sorts the whole time. Finn had gotten to see his grandkids and even play with them a little. He'd sorted out some business with arms merchants out of Alexia's kingdom, and he'd sorted out Breezy's problem. He was a little bit worried about what was going on with the mysterious riots that had broken out in scattered spots around the friendly kingdoms, but they would have time to get that sorted when they got home.

After rolling out of bed, he'd left Betty and Lollipop sleeping to go on a quick run. Now he was headed back to their suite for breakfast. As the big man stepped into the vestibule outside Constance's guest-house, an irate Breezy grabbed him by the shirt collar and hoisted him aloft. "Hey, B," he greeted his bro. The Queen Bee shoved him through the door and into the garden, slamming the door behind her. He'd been expecting this, and he calmly waited for the explosion.

Breezy didn't disappoint. Her eyes flashed with rage, and she jabbed him with her finger like she was jabbing him with one of her stingers. "How _dare_ you," she snarled?! "How dare you trade _our_ Grand Honey?!" Calmly, Finn said, "I just made Constance responsible for protecting your kingdom from Yolanda without her or you signing a single treaty. You give them what they wanted. Your people get paid for it, and you even keep your autonomy in the bargain. You're welcome." Breezy's jaw came open. Stepping past her, he said, "twenty years was the minimum amount of time I could get them to agree to. Your kids and their kids will be just fine. You may even find that having a steady market for your honey will make your Kingdom more prosperous."

Without another word, he went back inside, leaving her staring at his back. He thought eventually she'd calm down and forgive him. He'd done what he could to protect her, and he felt no shame for that. The world wasn't in a place he wanted it to be, and he was doing the best he could with what he had. Moving on, he made his way upstairs to find all his ladies gathered over Cherry's phone. Bon's voice came through, stating, "the autopsies are complete. Just as father predicted, there are substantial neurochemistry changes. We are still assessing what went wrong, but there was definite foul play." With a heavy sigh, Nadia announced, "confirmed in my homeland too." Her tone was ominous, suggesting there was trouble in the offing.

Finn walked up to the table and said, "right, so Bon gets to sift through the scene to find the source of the problem. Leave no stone unturned. Get your mom if you have to..." The younger man acknowledged the orders. When he had signed off, Nadia announced, "my cabinet is now refusing to provide the fusion core to power the Tesla Barrier..." Finn's face twisted into a frown. Voice betraying sadness and not a little fear, she said, "they're afraid, Finn... There's evidence that this _thing_ somehow can jump from person to person through the Matrix..."

Ragnhild, Cherry, and Lollipop frowned in puzzlement. In tones of awe and fascination, Betty opined, "that was just a fantasy in my day!" Finn, who had known about the Matrix almost as long as he'd known Nadia, was far more concerned about the implications. He'd nearly lost Nadia the Grid-Face Princess in a similar incident two decades ago during the pursuit of his dad's alien mercs. They'd found a bunch of her fellow cyborgs who'd been enslaved and shackled to the aliens' computer to help send a message to the aliens' distant masters. Nadia had entered rapport with them through her electronic parts and almost gotten trapped herself.

In that scary-calm voice they were all starting to hate, the King said, "then you need to find me an alternate fuel source. In the now, the Grid-Face people will disable the Matrix. Starting with their princess..." Predictably, Nadia shot to her feet in a rage. Finn looked her dead in the eye and said, "I cannot allow the cyborg race with their superhuman strength and dangerous technology to become a menace to the world of Ooo. I will not allow their princess to be a threat to my family–especially my children. My orders will be carried out, Princess Nadia... Clear?" A typical female, Nadia turned on the water. Finn's face never wavered until she finally broke down and agreed. The King of of Ooo then embraced his wife and let her cry herself out.

When the storm passed, the King of Ooo admonished them to get ready. This was the last day here. They would be going home tomorrow morning. This was their last chance to leave an impression of strength. He had received no word of Wildberry and her pals coming to talk, but there was still plenty of time for that. Finn washed and dressed, then headed out to do one last deal. He left Betty and Cherry comforting Nadia–something he really wanted to do himself. But he was King first and husband second. He hated the dichotomy. He hated it when he had to jerk Bonnie's chain or tell Nadia to do something that seemed honestly _hurtful_. _But it's_ everybody's _lives,_ he decided. He'd just have to make it up later.

Crossing one of the many grand atriums in Connie's palace, the big man was thinking of other ways to reach out to Wildberry when he heard a growl of anger behind him. Calmly, he stopped right where he was. In the blink of an eye, a tremendous force snatched him up by the scruff, jerking him into the air. Coolly Finn unfastened his jacket and dropped out of Marshall Lee's grasp. Landing heavily, he rolled with the impact and came up facing his invisible foe. He'd been expecting this.

The angry vampire charged again. Finn dodged aside at the last minute and let the vampire slam into the wall. Furious now, the Vampire King showed himself–eight feet of hairy muscle, teeth, and claws. Finn calmly dodged his lunge and even deflected his strikes with the grass-sword. "You're holding back," said Finn. Marshall stopped stock still. Calm as anything, Finn asked, "can we talk about this now?" "Yeah," muttered the vampire, as he resumed his normal shape. Offering his arm, Finn said, "take us somewhere private." The Vampire King thought about that for a moment, but only a moment. Grabbing his father by the arm, he vaulted into the air, simultaneously becoming invisible.

Finn could feel the palpable stink of evil that he had always felt around Marceline and that now was transferred to their son. A corner of his mind felt pity, but he pushed it aside. They had some business to work through as men. And men didn't offer each other _pity_. Arriving on the roof of the palace, Marshall dropped his father onto the rough clay tiles. Finn, graceful as ever, landed with a light thump and sat down, completely unfazed by the hundred foot drop to the stone courtyard below them. Marshall hovered there before him, but Finn said, "sit down, chum. We're talking. Like dudes." That was the way they talked when Marshall Lee was a disruptive and rebellious boy and Finn the only thing like a father in his life. The Vampire King sat. He was almost compelled to by the history he shared with this man.

"You were supposed to leave us out of this," he half-growled. "Yeah," said Finn, "and I'm not asking that to change." "Those fucking businessmen have forced Connie to provide protection to the Bee People." "Yup," said Finn. "All legit. Nothing to do with Finn or his war. Just protecting the supply of super-tasty, intoxicating honey in Breezy's kingdom." Marshall frowned at him. "That won't last," he muttered. "Long enough for Yolanda to get the message," Finn retorted. "Maja won't tolerate adventures." The younger man ran his fingers through his coal-black hair. "You could have figured that out, Marshall," said the big man. "What's _really_ going on? You've been angry the whole time I've been here."

"Candy and Davina are missing," Marshall admitted. "They went to see Davina's mom, and I haven't heard from them in weeks." They weren't answering their phones, and Davina's mom didn't know where they were. Resting a hand on Marshall's shoulder, Finn said, "been where you are a lot of times. Some days I still don't know what to do. It never gets easier when you love someone." The young man flinched, but Finn thought Marshall well understood that. Rising, Finn said, "Cherry will be in touch when she finds out what happened to them." He waited expectantly. _Just like that, huh,_ thought the Vampire King? With a heavy sigh, he took his father by the arm, cloaked them both again, and took him back to the atrium.

Retrieving his somewhat battered coat, Finn went down and had his final meeting with Alex's arms merchants. He'd already delivered his payment–fourteen precious jars of Grand Honey. Now he signed for delivery of three-hundred dart rifles, eight-hundred of Abeiuwa's spears, and several thousand swords and conventional spears. His heart was heavy as he signed those papers. Wildberry looked to be a no-show, and anyway, the friendly kingdoms needed a hedge against the armies deployed against them. As he signed for the shipment that was being loaded on Ragnhild's train, he felt his heart lighten. The decision was made. Time to move on.

Late that evening, the Princess of Engagement Ring Kingdom held a grand gala to say farewell to her in-laws. After an afternoon spent playing with his kids and grandkids while the various mothers watched, Finn the King gathered up his entourage to go. News and rumor had come that Wildberry and her friends had finally shown up. It was time to throw down once more. Tonight would be one more chance to show himself as either hero or zero.

On the far side of town, his opponent was in the midst of her own preparations with her own entourage. They made a motley crew. Maja, dressed in a beautiful cheongsam in a red floral pattern on black, with her hair down and teased out just-so, regarded her allies with a large measure of distaste. Blargetha was adjusting and readjusting herself, seeming to have quite forgotten how to control her gooey body. Musclebound Yolanda had come dressed in a rather ugly midriff-bearing dress that was calculated to show off her washboard stomach and massive arms–hardly Royal garb in Maja's eyes. Bathilde was scratching at various portions of her anatomy with her prehensile hair looking as crass as crass could be, and the sour berry herself was spontaneously emitting an irritating cocktail of pheremone-spores that was doing nothing for the witch's mood. She'd been warned twice already to get control of that, and Maja was considering bashing her good so the lesson took. The only one of the pack who seemed to have her shit together was Maudie, who'd come dressed in a rather staid pink princess gown that came replete with pointed princess-hat. Of course her bulk sort of spoiled the effect.

"Alright," muttered Maja. "Orzsebet! Stop pilfering! Fuck'd I tell you?!" Agent Princess put down the bauble she'd been considering pocketing. She was having a moment just now because she was the one princess who wasn't going. She'd turned up in an ugly formal black gown, expecting to mix and mingle like secret agents and spies of the past, but Maja had no time for the stupid games. "The boy's up to something," growled Maja. "I need to know what it is. With all the bitches who've been hitting him up the last few days, some are bound to have armies and others might have money. I need to know if he's gotten stronger. Find out everything you can. You can take the crazy cannibal with you." Agent Princess acknowledged the command with a grunt, and Sugarlump muttered curses under her breath but said nothing further.

The party was in full swing when the villainesses crashed the door. The food and drink were flowing, people were mingling and talking, and some were dancing. It was the very picture of fun and happiness. As the little group walked into the room, a lean figure materialized in front of them. "Welcome to my party," declared Constance Abadeer. "The rules are as follows: 1. You cause trouble, you die. Screaming. 2. If you try to stir someone else to cause trouble, you die screaming after they do." Padding up to Wildberry, she sniffed the air briefly. The Empress gave her former colleague a sinister smile and said, "vampires have a _very_ keen sense of smell, dear. If just one person is harmed by what you're doing, I'll _peel_ you..." Then, with a warm, _sunny_ smile, the Empress strolled away. Maja scanned the room, spying their adversary, who was now dancing with the gangster. Without a word to the others, she stepped off to meet the boy and take his measure.

Across the room, Finn was enjoying himself. He'd danced with pretty much everybody, twirling first Nadia, then Betty, then Lollipop, and now Cherry around the room. He was happier than he'd been in an age. "I love you," sighed the little woman. If Finn was happy, she was happier still. The world had been resolutely tearing them apart. They weren't seeing the kids, and they weren't seeing each other. "I'm sorry all of this came into our lives," he said. "I... just wanted to be with you all." "Even if you were getting too much of a good thing," she chuckled? Blushing to his hair, he admitted, "yeah. Even with that." Drew had feared they would fuck him to death, but it would be a hell of a way to go.

Spying Ingrid, Cherry asked, "have you figured out what she's up to?" "Fucked if I know," he admitted. Stepping back, the little woman said, "then maybe I should let you dance with your _evil girlfriend_." Finn frowned at her, but Cherry was already walking away. The dress she was wearing was part of the outrageous style of this kingdom, cut very low in back so that he could see the tops of her buns. They'd all chosen to come dressed like that, even Nadia. He'd had a boner that wouldn't quit all evening. He'd more or less decided he was going to wear somebody out tonight. Maybe more than one somebody.

Ingrid was over like a shot, and she practically threw herself on him. Her face seemed to almost say, 'finally'. Her dress wasn't nearly as risque as the others, but he thought it suited her well enough. Sliding his arms around her, he settled into the rhythm of the music. As the two began to circulate around the floor, he took her measure becoming slowly more used to her presence. As they got used to each other, his strange 'friend' from long ago drifted closer and closer until he had his arm around her waist, and her face was pressed against the crook of his neck. "Isn't this nice," announced a voice? Ingrid whirled around, her hand going for the dagger she had at her left hip. Finn slapped her hand away.

"We meet again," declared the witch. Finn nodded, "yeah." The pair stood there a moment, taking each other's measure. He'd seen Maja from afar while she was trying to raze Bonnie's capitol more than twenty years ago. Now that he was getting a good look at her, he was surprised to find that she was actually beautiful. Narrow, angular face, almond-shaped eyes like Sakura's, pale green skin, and long, dark hair to complete the picture. The dress she wore was a traditional number from Truth Field Projection Princess's homeland, and it hugged the older woman's curves, while long slits on either side revealed firm, trim legs.

Knowing the sort of scene they were making, Finn told his would-be wife, "go get me a drink." Ingrid's jaw came open, but Finn coldly snapped, "now, please." The Warrior Princess scooted out of there. Shocking nearly everyone watching, Finn bowed to the lady, offering, "konbanwa. Ogenkidesuka." The witch goggled at him. Taking the opening, he grabbed her by the arm and began leading her through the steps of a dance as if she _wasn't_ his mortal enemy.

For a long few moments, they danced in stiff, awkward fashion, Maja seeming to react every time he touched her body. Seeming to be completely oblivious to that, Finn the Human kept right on dancing as if he did this every day, and ever so slowly the witch began to relax. The vampire had said it. No fighting. There would be no fighting here. When she let herself enjoy the moment, she was astonished to find that the big man was a surprisingly good dancer, when she would hardly have expected him to hold his own. Far from being a clumsy fool, Finn the Human was graceful, even _sensual_. His hands against her middle were firm-but-gentle, and she could easily see how he seduced all those bitches. Unlike the run of cowering fools that the civilized kingdoms held, he was a man's man.

"You speak my language," murmured the witch. "A few words," Finn replied. "Sakura tried to teach me and failed." Nadia's nanobugs had merely allowed him to dredge up those few words to greet his nemesis. Maja's face froze at the mention of the woman who ruled her old homeland. It was Prince Sasuke who'd exiled her two centuries ago, but she'd never gotten over the sting of that. His blue eyes, studying her oh-so-carefully, seemed to be taking all that in without her once mentioning a word of any of it. She wondered did he _fuck_ the little princess in her cute little uniform. He seemed like the sort of man who got ass whenever he wanted it.

"So," she said, "you have me here. What do you want to say?" "Private," he replied. "No business here." The witch frowned up at him. What game was he playing? Twirling her around the dance floor, Finn locked eyes with Cherry, who's face barely betrayed her alarm. He likely would have been the only person to even tell how terrified she was. Nadia, Lollipop, Betty, and Ragnhild looked like their hearts would leap out of their throats. Finn flicked his eyes to his son, who was hanging out in the lee of the stage, doing his best not to be noticed. Nodding, Cherry left her place with the others, and went slipping through the crowd.

"I never had a chance to meet you," Finn remarked. "You fucking knocked me unconscious," she retorted. "I was most concerned with Darren the Sleeper," Finn replied. The witch tensed. Smoothly, he said, "it's the past. Let's deal with the now we have." "Now, eh," she murmured? Finn nodded. "Well, what do we have _now_ ," she asked? "I still want the world..." "Yeah," he said. "The Lich wanted to wreck it. What would you do with it if you had it?" "Shape it," she replied. "Remake it to my liking." Twirling her around, the big man slipped his arms around her middle as they continued to dance. "You're very good, Mr. Finn," she sighed. "It's been a very long time since I danced." "Still graceful," he replied. "I could say the same for you," she chuckled. Twirling her again, he put his hand on her hip as they continued to move to the rhythm.

They moved in an empty circle. There was a circle defined by their neighbors' panic at the sight of Finn the Human dancing with his mortal enemy there in the center of the floor. Everyone knew who Maja the Sky Witch was. Many of Engagement Ring Kingdom's nobles remembered the day that the wicked witch had decided to raze Bonnibel Bubblegum's home using a terrifying and unbeatable monster conjured straight out of feverish nightmares. Still, far from getting to blows right there in the hall, the pair continued to twirl and dance and sway with the music, losing themselves in their deadly conversation as the band played one song after another.

As the band took a break, Finn led his enemy out onto the terrace outside for some fresh air. Standing there at the railing, the witch stared into the night sky at the stars, wondering at what secrets they held. "There's a lot of ugliness out there," Finn murmured. Her pretty face flicked to his, finding nothing of the amusement she expected. He was deadly serious. "How would you know," she growled? She didn't like to be pricked at. "Was born there," Finn replied. "My dad was still out there... Until he came back to try and steal something awful." "And did you kill him," she asked? "Yeah," said Finn. "Thought it would feel good after what he'd done to my friends." "It _should_ have felt good," she laughed. Taking his chin in her hand, she said, "that's what I don't get about a creature like you, Finn the Human. There's such _joy_ in making enemies suffer. Then to let them see your face... to have them _know_ how you've brought them low for wronging you..."

"Is that what you feel about Breakfast and her sisters," Finn replied. Maja laughed at him. She chortled in unholy mirth for a good long while. "Actually," she chuckled, "it's sour berry that has a mad-on against them. Youngest turned her back on the older two in exchange for the throne. She's our sweet little puppet..." Stopping in mid-sentence, she said, "thirsty, big-boy. You made me work up a sweat." She glanced away for the briefest of moments, and when she turned back towards him, he had two glasses of Engagement Ring Kingdom's finest wine.

Sipping at the pale fluid, she said, "handy. Surprised you're not dead, yet." Finn shrugged for answer. Leaning over the railing once more, she looked out into the garden. "How is it that you're _not_ dead, big boy," she asked? "Been curious about that. Everybody thought it was that fucking sword. Sourberry paid her hatchet-bitch a pile of coins to get it away from you." Finn merely smiled. "Be that way," she said. Sipping at the wine, she said, "this is rather good. Be a dear and get me another one. Then we'll talk, ok?" Without a word, the big man fetched her another glass. "I could ask you the same thing," said Finn. "We thought you were dead. You never came back." With a shrug, she said, "I was trapped between the world of the living and the world of the dead. A voice woke me. Must have been that fucking elephant."

Alarmed, Finn's eyes snapped over. "Your pet," said she. "The warbeast. Not sure why you would release an ancient Warbeast from your command, but he's proven quite useful to me." Finn's face was red hot now, and she thought she'd scored there. She'd found a crack in his seemingly impenetrable armor. Stroking the back of his hand with the tip of a finger, she said, "you're _very_ clever. I can use that. I could use a man who can beat the Quicksilver Curse." "Business," he rumbled. "Yes," she said. "Let's talk." "Not here," Finn replied. Before she could say a word, he'd snatched her off her feet. In the blink of an eye, they were gone.

The pair left behind chaos. Finn's ladies very nearly went into a state of panic. Ironically it was Ingrid who arrested the spiral and got them thinking again. "Stop your moping," she snapped. "All of you. Clearly she's the intellect of the bunch. It is useful for a leader to take his opposite's measure without distraction..." When Lollipop would have spoken about the risk, the warrior woman cut her off. Nodding at the empty corner where Marshall had stood, she pointed out, "the boy is doing his part. Do yours." Looking Cherry in the eye, she said, "shouldn't you be spying?" To Nadia, she remarked, "don't you have a machine you could make to help?" As the quartet sputtered, Ingrid turned to go. "And what will you be doing," asked Betty? With a shrug, the soldier said, "confronting..." With no further word, she headed off towards Wildberry.

Neither King nor Witch returned that night. Connie's party became an unpleasant affair where the two factions took turns stalking each other and doing their best to twist diplomacy into conflict. Just as she'd promised, Ingrid entered the circle where Wildberry was doing her best to woo potential allies and brazenly insulted her. Worse, the Warrior Princess followed the sourberry and her friends from place to place, taunting them at every turn and in front of every ally they tried to enlist.

The beautiful blonde was by turns rude and vulgar and at other times sly and insinuating. She let it be known that her King was a powerful warrior well able to smash his enemies all on his own and even able to take a princess to heaven when he was done. She was happy to tell any who would listen about just what sort of person Maja the Sky Witch was, suggesting that only a fool let a witch hold power over them. Those suggestions took root in the clear and ever-present discomfort and awkwardness Wildberry and her evil quartet showed. They were clearly _afraid_ of Maja, and no amount of play-acting could hide that fact.

In the end, both sides retired for the night in a tactical draw. Wildberry and her faction returned home in bitter defeat having failed to win anything more than a _maybe_ from their neighbors. The only hope they really had was that their ally would take care of their biggest _problem_ once and for all while she had Finn away from his allies. Returning to the Royal Suite at the Diamond Hotel, the five princesses stayed up a few hours, waiting in vain for the Sky Witch to show. When Maja failed to appear by two o'clock in the morning, all but Wildberry herself went to bed, with the berry-woman insisting on waiting up until doomsday.

Sunrise found Wildberry asleep in a chair, her elaborate gown gone to wrinkles. The noise of a key in the lock announced Maja's return. Swinging the door wide, the evil woman stepped inside, wearing a soft smile and an almost-vacant look. Shutting the door, the beautiful and thoroughly evil woman strolled across to the mirror, where she stood a moment as if looking herself over. "Did you kill him," asked Wildberry? "Hmm," asked the witch? She seemed almost startled and even a little puzzled by the idea. "You were gone all night," growled Wildberry. "Did you have trouble getting rid of the body?" Rolling her eyes, Maja said, "I wasn't going to fight those two fucking vampires on their home ground. There's no telling how many slaves they have here."

"You didn't kill him," howled Wildberry?! Far from having butchered Finn in some dark corner, Maja's expression suggested that the bitch had spent the time playing footsie with Finn–dancing and drinking and having a good time. Instead of coordinating their efforts and helping to win over the princesses who'd come courting their aid, Maja had been having fun. It helped not at all that Wildberry had spent an extraordinarily miserable evening. She'd seemingly come here to be sniped-at and slighted, while Maja danced the night away. Indeed, judging by the way she was preening in that mirror, she might well have gone too far with things. As Maja laid down her purse, the berry snapped, "where the fuck _were_ you?" With a shrug, the witch said, "taking the measure of our enemy." "Or maybe measuring his dick," growled Wildberry.

Frowning into the mirror, her dark eyes glowing, Maja said, "have a care, dearie..." An invisible force snatched Wildberry off her feet and pinned her to the ceiling. The resulting _thump_ brought the others out of their rooms. Maja sat down in the chair the sour berry had vacated. Stretching her legs out, she said, "he's very dangerous–much more so than when we last fought. The Curse lies heavy upon him, and somehow he's managed to bend it to his will by surrendering himself to it. He uses it almost reflexively." And a man who could move through time the way he could was very dangerous indeed.

"D-does he have a weakness," stammered Bathilde? "I don't know," sighed Maja. "The one thing that's certain is that there's some powerful magic tieing him to the land of the living." "Can you break it," asked Sugarlump? She wanted to watch him die horribly. "Working on it," the witch replied. "It's unfamiliar magic." She'd been probing at it all night. Oddly enough, the more she probed at it, the more she thought of the power he had in his hands. She'd _felt_ that power each time he carried her last night, and she wanted it. Or, more precisely, she wanted control over it. Her mind had been working much of the time on how to bend him to her will. Why conjure a monster when you could string the King of Ooo for your puppet?

Moving on–shaking off her daydream–she said, "how did we do?" Agent Princess replied, "he bought weapons. Spent a lot of time on that." Sugarlump added, "Princess fang-face is pissed at him and so's her boyfriend. Boy toy tried to bust him up early yesterday." "Bee Queen too," burbled Wildberry. Finn had ticked off a lot of allies during his visit. Abeiuwa was in a snit. Djanira had flatly decided to make peace with Muscle Kingdom by any means she could. There were a lot of Royals who were running scared right now.

In spite of their ineptitude in pursuing those tenuous threads of support, that news brought a smile to the witch's face. There was a lot they could use here. She didn't have Finn in her net, yet, and she was far too cautious to place all her eggs in one basket. Maja let her impertinent _partner_ down. It was time to get to work. She already had a lead she wanted Orzsebet to pursue, and the news that Emerald Princess was looking for power and influence was perfect for her goals.

Meanwhile, Finn the human was rushing through the streets of the capitol. He had a train to catch, and he'd been gone much longer than originally intended. They'd ended up playing a peculiar version of Bonnie's favorite game for hours last night. Chinese Chess was Maja's favorite game, and it was just as devilishly complicated as Bonnie's favorite version. Nadia's nanobugs had done their usual work, though. It had only taken the big man a dozen games to get the rhythm of the game, and he'd ended up taking four straight before Maja decided she didn't want to play anymore. He'd ended up teaching her to play Card Wars of all things. There had been a couple of dudes at the bar with a deck, and Finn had bought it from them.

And they'd talked.

He thought it might have been more honest to say they'd dueled. Using words. It was a lot like the old times with Cherry where he had a beautiful–and overpoweringly _evil_ –creature on his arm doing her best to twist him around her finger. He thought that she didn't really want a battle. She'd learned an ugly lesson from her twenty year nap. Maja wanted to terrorize the folk of Ooo into a quick surrender. Much like Bonnie, she wanted to move on to what she perceived as the good parts–time for her experiments and a massive bureaucracy to provide the funds and resources to support them.

As he ran, a pair of strong hands snatched him off the ground. He knew it was Marshall because he _felt_ the palpable touch of evil. "Hey, Marsh," Finn greeted his boy. Marshall grunted. He wasn't really happy with all of this. He'd done just what the soda-pop girl had asked. He'd followed his father's trail across town, and he'd sat there all night watching and listening as the big man danced and romanced with that fucking witch. And he didn't like it. Strangely enough, knowing how Cherry became what she was, he was a little irritated with his father for putting her through that. "I hope it was worth it," growled the younger man. "Cherry understands, Marshall," Finn replied. "I had to do this... to feel her out and see if she can be dissuaded from doing this..." "Big words again," muttered the vampire. "Tired," Finn admitted. "Less control over it now."

The girls were already on the train and biting their nails in worry and fear when Marshall deposited their husband on the platform. Ragnhild of all people was in the lead as they came out of the salon carriage and down the stairs, but Finn's eyes were for his bad little girl. Dropping to one knee, he said, "baby, I'm sorry I had to do that." Her face betrayed very little of the pain she was feeling as she asked, "did you learn anything." "More than I'd feared," he said, "but not as much as I hoped." Betty and Lollipop insisted on hugging Marshall. Strangely enough he didn't have to be prompted to hug Cherry. Saying goodbye to his son, Finn the King went up the stairs and into the salon. They had a lot to talk about.

"For the record," said Finn, as he settled into a chair, "nothing happened. Not like that." He had to get that out of the way first. "We gave you permission," Betty reminded him. Not that he seemed to need or want it. "She was asleep," said Finn. "She said she was trapped in the world between life and death." "A coma," murmured Betty. Frowning, she asked, "who took care of her?" A comatose woman would have died without attention. Face gone hot, Finn said, "my former pet." He'd told most of them about the Ancient Psychic Tandem War Elephant. He'd shaded various parts of the story as funny depending on who he was talking to at the time. Now there was nothing funny about the story.

"When we defeated Darren the Sleeper," said Finn, "I released the War-Elephant..." Shaking his head, he said, "somebody punch me in the balls next time I do something like that." "You were being _human_ , Finn," Cherry retorted. "Treating a sentient creature with the respect it deserves instead of treating it like a fucking canary in a cage. Don't you dare start regretting that." His face looked bleak, but Cherry was unrelenting. "That's the man I came to love, Finn," she said. "The man who does the _right_ thing instead of what feels good at the time." The feeling was pretty much unanimous. Nobody was interested in the pity-party he wanted to throw for himself, so Finn moved on.

"He nursed her back to health," Finn sighed. "She woke up... months ago. Maybe as much as a year ago. She was pretty sly about all of it." "Meaning she's likely been running around stirring shit up this whole time," murmured Lollipop. Her eyes flicked to their blonde-headache, who was in the corner sharpening her sword. It was a helluva coincidence. At the same time, it didn't make sense. Why bring Ingrid back to life and let her work for the other side?

Moving on, Finn said, "she's definitely the brains, but those five are in it up to their necks. They're not being coerced. She and Wildberry are going to divide up the world." "Is she strong," asked Ingrid, as she entered the circle? "Dunno," said Finn. "Kept on saying that she could fix my problem. Figure she means the curse..." Frowning, Nadia said, "I don't think you should spend any more time in her presence, Finn. Not close. If Breezy could block the curse's negative effects, there's no telling what Maja can do." The big man nodded. Hands steepled in front of her, Cherry wondered, "why doesn't she just conjure another big monster like that last one?" "Wary," said Finn. "For all the trouble she went through to summon him, she got some pretty piss-poor mileage out of Darren." Six pairs of eyes fell on him. He'd been the reason she got such poor value for effort out of her monster. That now made him target number one for the other side, and he had a pretty big target painted on his back already.

Cherry shifted gears on their conversation, announcing, "they've got no plan and no idea how to attract adherents to their side. They've been running around doing some pretty awful things, but that's not going to attract useful allies. Just idiots." Nadia put in, "Bathilde's court is drowning in people out of the wastelands, Finn. I know you were out there, but I think the problems out there are worse than you thought. There's a lot of people starving. A lot of them are on the move now, looking for food, and they're swarming into Bathilde's kingdom..." "Instant army," sighed Finn. The worst part was that they weren't really enemies, just desperate. "We need to do something with that," he said.

While he was pondering just what _something_ was going to be, Nadia informed him, "we're currently running the Tesla Barrier on a fission core. It was easy to build and get running, but the core will be depleted soon." Which Finn knew. Question was, what was she doing about it now? "We can buy the fuel from Abeiuwa," said Nadia, "but it's going to cost us." "Damn," said the big man. He'd been almost desperate to stay out of Jungle Princess's pocket, but now it looked like he wasn't going to have a choice.

Ingrid was last to make a report, but her report was strangest of all. "The berry-bitch has been transformed somehow," she said. "Probably the same magic that was used against the slime people." Finn's face snapped to hers. "She's humanoid now," said Ingrid. "If her people have also been transformed, that gives them vastly greater power to handle weapons..." Cherry opined, "I'm more concerned about their ability to blend in. If they don't look like giant plums and oranges anymore..." "...they could go anywhere," Finn sighed. His problems were having puppies.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27:

Sugarlump Plumly was in a fouler mood than usual when she exited the restaurant. It was her birthday, and she was eating by herself just as she'd been doing since those two fuckers murdered her daddy. The worst part of it all was that she'd made absolutely no progress towards offing either Cherry-bitch or her pencil-dick boyfriend. She'd gotten sucked into this bullshit alliance with the witch and berry-bitch, and her own plans were going nowhere. Strolling across the parking lot, bodyguard at her side, her mind churned on plans to get at her two enemies. She'd been thinking of sneaking into wizard city to hire a dude to break the spell on fucking Finn the Human. The news that he was cursed and one step away from death had been a boon to her soul. Now she had a pathway to seeing him dead, and she was anxious to get started.

The car swerved around the end of the row at high-speed. It had been idling in a back corner, lights out for over an hour with nobody really paying attention. Now, it accelerated down the lane, and the three men inside came up with gats and began shooting. The half-nymph stood there in a state of utter surprise, watching death come bearing down on her at over eighty miles an hour. Two of her thugs answered the violence with deadly violence of their own, sending deadly steel darts blasting through the window to kill the driver of the car and one of his mates. As the car went careening out of control, Sugarlump found herself bodily thrown out of the way. As she bounced off one of the parked cars and went rolling in the dirt, the out-of-control car pulped her hulking bodyguard, sending him to the afterlife.

Climbing to her feet, heedless of the bloody wound a dart had cut in her side, the evil berry cursed the wrecked car and its deceased occupants. "Fuck you, bitch," she snarled! "You missed! Fuck you! You missed me! I'm'a get you yet, cunt! I'm'a piss on your grave!" The remaining guards snatched her up, even as she shouted violent threats at the sky, hauling her bodily to her own car, where they got her tucked away before speeding out of there.

Back in the Candy Kingdom, her enemies were dealing with the results of her allies machinations against them. The riots were coming more frequently now, and Chocago had developed a sense of panic over them. The outbreaks of violence were spasmodic, seeming to come at random. Each time, dozens of lives would be lost. But worse than that were the _lost_. The few survivors came to them _twisted_. They were shattered in body and invariably violently insane. Boniface Bubblegum was doing his best to get control of the mess and failing by degrees. The best he'd done so far was to keep a lid on the problem with a sea of police and an oppressive curfew. It was barely seven in the evening, and the streets of the great city were empty.

He felt every bit a failure. Honestly, he felt wholly inadequate for the task confronting him. It was as though he was a lesser being than his mother–even _tainted_ by his father's genetic legacy. He spent nearly every waking hour here in the lab of the crumbling old prison. The only bright spot in his life was the time he got with Frenchie and Jean. Staring down at the autopsy from their latest acquisition, he found himself once more at a loss. He just didn't understand what he was seeing.

As he was scrubbing at his eyes, Frenchie came in with their son. "Morning, darling," she greeted him. Yawning, he returned her greeting. The pictures of autopsied brains disturbed her, so he was forced to get up and go to her. Studying him critically, she opined, "you need sleep, honey." The candy prince lapsed into all his usual arguments. Tugging at his chin, Frenchie declared, "you're exhausted, Boniface. How can you solve the problem if all you can think about is _sleep_?!" As he tried to refute that, _she_ came breezing in.

"Mother," burbled Bon as the pink princess breezed by, carrying a case full of instruments. Frenchie dropped a curtsy on the spot. "Nope," said Sarah in sarcastic tones. "You get _surrogate_ Bonnie." Without a further word, she began peppering the candy prince with questions while she set up the equipment she'd brought. Periodically, she would stop and adjust something before moving on. Frenchie, who'd professed that she found her mother-in-law's double _creepy_ , kissed Bon's cheek and got out of there.

Hundreds of miles away, a force of heavily armed brutes came marching through the valley of the Bee People. The force of muscle-bound thugs had been dispatched almost as soon as their overlord returned home. The princess of the Muscle Kingdom had a taste for the curiously addictive honey her neighbors produced. Yolanda had repeatedly attempted to annex the little kingdom to corner the supply. In the past, the rule of law and fear of antagonizing her colleagues had prevented her from doing something rash. Now the Peace of Ooo was dead, the calculus of war had changed.

As the soldiers marched along, hostile eyes watched from the shadows. Those eyes had been watching almost since the breathless messenger from the Hernandez Trading Company had arrived at Engagement Ring Kingdom's palace. This was exactly what the watcher had been afraid of. The Royals of Ooo never seemed to know when to quit. He was irritated with the man who'd put him in this spot. Now he had to break a vow. He had to break a vow because the meatheads who owned the trading company were never going to let their Princess have any peace if she didn't do _something_ about this invasion. It was better _he_ break the vow than that she do it.

Below him, the soldiers continued marching up the trail, chatting and joking. They had awful things to say about the bees, which helped the stalker's mood not at all. Some of them thought it would be great fun to de-wing the bee-people as if they were giant insects. The business of the day was slavery. Take the honey that their master craved and abduct its makers. Princess Yolanda intended to have a constant supply and sell anything she didn't eat herself, making her fabulously wealthy. The watcher wasn't sure which piece of awful was worse–the cruel torments those men bantered about as if they were discussing the weather or Yolanda's awful willingness to do any evil thing to feed her hunger. _Darkness,_ thought the watcher. _Just wait for the sun to set._

All across the day, the soldiers wove their way through remote and overgrown trails, often hacking their way along. The bee-people did very little to care for the roads. They most often _flew_ from place to place in their kingdom, and the overgrown roads deterred invasion. The watcher had hoped and prayed that the same would hold true now. Unfortunately these bastards were damned persistent. They looked fully capable of chopping their way across Bee Kingdom and beyond. That meant they would have to die. As the sun slowly set, the invisible watcher rushed ahead to prepare his ambush.

As the sun dipped below the horizon, the overmuscled invaders stopped and began the process of building a camp. They set up shop in an idyllic forest glade. Parties got sent into the forest to chop wood for fires and building pieces of the camp. Watching from the shadows, the stalker smiled as the camp began to thin out a little. They were playing right into his hands. All he needed was to have a few of them alone for just a little while. Backing deeper into the shadows, he turned his attention to mayhem.

The first victim was straightening from sectioning a log when the claw plunged into his back. He could feel that powerful hand grip his heart before wrenching and twisting it out. The soldier was dead shortly thereafter. The next was taken when he came to investigate. He died gurgling on blood drizzling through the rent in his throat. The stalker rushed across the forest as the first of the would-be rescuers arrived. Spying a straggler, he slipped up behind him and tore open the arteries in his neck. Again, the soldiers rushed to the sound of mayhem. They left before they even knew what happened to the first two men. The stalker kept them running for several more minutes until an officer finally stopped them.

By the time the soldiers got their panic under control, there were twenty on the ground. Now the stalker reached inside himself and grasped the font of evil that tainted his heart. Grasping the power he whispered to the silent dead. Now, one by one, those men got off the ground and began moving towards their former comrades. There were cries of horror as those men confronted a nightmare. The first zombie drove his sword into his tentmate's belly. As the dead man screamed, his comrades shook off fear and began to fight for their lives.

The soldiers fought like tigers slashing and hacking at the zombies. Unfortunately the zombies were already dead. Wounds that would have killed a living soldier were no more than an inconvenience. The reverse was not true. Zombie blades and claws killed many. And as each man fell, he rose again to confront his former comrades. In the end, a handful of terrified men broke away and ran, leaving their weapons and equipment behind. The zombies shuffled off after them, leaving their dark master in command of the camp.

Marshall Lee Abadeer stared after them, his mind churning on a lethal cocktail of anger, shame, and sadness. He was disgusted by what he'd just done. At the same time, the sights he saw in the camp made him angry. Yolanda's soldiers had come with smoke-pots, nets, and portable smoke machines–gear to pacify giant bees. He really hoped she liked the zombies he'd sent in response. Fortunately he had kept Connie and her soldiers out of this. The seeming of neutrality had been preserved if not the reality.

Back in the Candy Kingdom, Sarah set down the notes she'd been reading. The candy prince had been grinding away at this for several days and making poor progress. The android woman said, "there's nothing here. This is all useless." Bon gave her a look like she'd just slapped him in the face. Throwing the papers on the table, she said, "we need to start over..." Shooting to his feet, the young prince howled protest. He'd meticulously biopsied every brain, tested every drop of blood, and sifted every report. Nothing.

"You're not thinking this through," Sarah said. "You need to try a living specimen..." Bon retorted, "what value does that have? The dead were all exposed to the same toxin." Sitting back in her chair, Sarah responded, "you're failing to consider ongoing biological responses and the half-life of neurochemicals. Every substance a living thing ingests–all but the most inert–is decomposed from one form to the next in a cascade. If we can't find the precursor, it may be that it's already broken down by the time we got to the corpse..." Bon dropped into his seat with a thump. She was right. He'd completely missed that. Rising, Sarah said, "we need to put together a plan to test a living specimen. Full spectrum. EEG. Dye testing. Blood work. Everything." Bon nodded. "I'll get it set up," he said.

Miles away in the capitol, Billy the Human was putting the finishing touches on pickled-fish and yogurt surprise. It was a detestable dish–one that made him nauseous even as he was making it. The smell of pickled fish and yogurt frying was off-putting. Still he persevered because he was a man deeply, _profoundly_ in love. Ragnhild was no fan of the stuff either, but she'd been craving it since getting preggers. As he plated her dinner, the Froyo-person reflected on that.

She was on unfamiliar ground. When she'd gotten pregnant with Anders, Eigil immediately stopped sleeping with her. Indeed their intimacy _evaporated_. He lost much of his interest in her and their son. Even after Anders was born, he never returned to the fold. In contrast, Billy literally slept in a chair at her bedside now she was too far gone to snuggle. She'd been afraid when he got sent abroad. She'd feared someone would turn his head with her younger, prettier face. Now, as he prepared to go again, she had a new fear.

"William," she murmured? "Yeah, babe," he replied? She began in kind of a strange place, talking about how Anders simply hadn't been the same while he was gone. Billy listened in puzzlement as she tried to articulate her nebulous feelings. In the end, he chalked it up to the stresses of pregnancy and work. Coming to her side, the big man slid his arms around her. "I love you, babe," he said, as he kissed her pale cheek. "Even when I make you eat pickled fish and yogurt," she sniffled? Wrinkling his nose, he laughed, " _especially_ when you make me eat pickled fish and yogurt..." He planned to put her to bed early so she got a little rest. In the now, it was time to try getting Anders to eat. He would do his best to smooth things over until he boarded the airship to go to Jungle Kingdom.

A little calmer, his beautiful older woman gave him some sound advice. She'd been dealing with Abeiuwa on and off over the years. Each time Bonnibel sold her some fabulous piece of technology to help her people, she'd been required to find some way to power it. Abeiuwa was happy to supply the refined radioactive fuel that her people extracted from yellow ore in their homeland. For a price. Fortunately, Ragnhild had never needed very much. Compared to Bonnie's homeland, hers was almost primitive. Now, she relied on the knowledge she picked up in those negotiations to advise her husband on how he should approach the prickly Jungle Princess.

"She's the most prideful witch I know of, outside of Bonnie," sighed Ragnhild. "At the same time, she doesn't like people to be too obvious with the whole butt-kissing thing." When Billy frowned at her, Ragnhild laughed. Between bites of pickled fish and yogurt, the pale woman howled laughter. "Abeiuwa wants to think that you really do believe all that stuff," laughed Ragnhild. "It's a tough balancing act, William. You won't get anywhere if she believes you're not sincere." "Right," Billy muttered. He was learning not to curse. He'd had to erase Ander's memories of some of the worlds he'd accidentally spoken in the little fellow's presence.

As Billy strove to re-establish some sense of normalcy for his family, on the outskirts of Chocago, Bon was following in the wake of his stepmother. If he'd thought his mother was high-energy, Princess Bonnibel had nothing on Sarah. The android woman was in constant motion as they worked to set up the experiment Sarah insisted upon. After getting a dose of her sharp tongue a couple of times, he did his best to stay out of her way. Sarah prepared the room, laying out the equipment in one of the sturdier cells. While she was working on that, she laid out for him the regimen of tests that they needed to run. Bon took notes as she fired off procedures and avenues of exploration they needed to pursue. Finally, they had the equipment set up. They only needed a specimen.

Of course that was the trick. The violent creatures in the holding cells had been hard to subdue even after being badly injured in the riots. Unfortunately, that had a chilling effect on the morale of the men of the Chocago police and Cookie County Sheriff's office. As a group, they were not very interested in fighting the madmen. Still, with so much on the line, Sarah wasn't taking no for answer. When the city guard balked, she picked up the tranquilizer herself and headed for the cells. Bon could only follow in her wake. As Bon watched, his stepmother put the syringe between her lips, and motioned for the guard to open the handiest cell. The guard didn't look happy, but at Bon's nod, he unlocked the door.

The madman was fast and viciously strong. He rushed forward and threw a freight-train of a punch. Sarah was faster and far stronger. Ducking inside the punch, she caught the brute's arm and spun him into the wall, pinning him there. Popping the cap off the hypo with her teeth, she jabbed it into the madman's leg. In short order, the madman began to slump to the ground. "Gurney," snapped Sarah. "Now!" Bon rushed forward with the bed. With his help, Sarah got the madman strapped to the bed. As the android tugged the straps taut, the young prince apologized profusely. He'd done nothing at all to help. Brushing that off, the android woman said, "I wouldn't have let you." And she said no more on the subject as they wheeled the specimen upstairs and into the waiting laboratory cell.

Once again, Bon could only stand aside as she bustled around the space. She wasn't quite as fast as his father or sister, but she was much faster than he would have been at the job. A part of him could well understand why his mother would have created such a creature. Honestly, the sight of Sarah working like that had him tempted to create his own 'surrogate Boniface'. Even if that was just a little insulting. Periodically, her eyes would fall on him, and he got the distinct impression she was displeased. He did his best to be out of the way then, and he apologized repeatedly for slowing things down.

Glancing up from her work, the android hottie studied him for a moment. Taking a deep breathe, she said, "it's not you, Bon. I'm... I've been... I've got a headache... I'm sorry I took it out on you..." The prince had heard rumors of her problems. Now he said, "maybe you should rest..." "Let's finish this first," sighed Sarah. "I want to at least run the EEG and brain scans." Lives were on the line. The pair wheeled the gurney up to the lab with the guards in full attendance. Strapping the insane gumdrop to an exam table, Sarah stepped back and promptly passed out.

Horrified, Bon stood there in a state of terrified shock. He might well have stood staring at his stepmother as she lay on the floor had not his wife not spoken up just then. Frenchie had come down looking for him with an eye towards suggesting that he let the machine handle the work now. After all, a machine was infallible and had no need of sleep. Bon, wired up as he was, looked like he was just moments from falling on his face. Instead, she found his mother's mechanical doppelganger on the floor, and Bon standing over her looking bewildered.

" _Bon_ ," howled French Toast, "are you going to _leave_ her laying in the dirt?!" That finally got the surprised scientist moving. Bending down, he scooped up Sarah's limp form and carried her to their quarters. He was astonished at how _light_ she was. Of course, knowing that his father was carrying on with her, it stood to reason that she couldn't weigh much more than a humanoid woman. Laying her on the couch, he tried to examine her but jerked his hand back from her forehead. She was burning up! Turning to Frenchie, he said, "draw a cold bath!" Then he sent the guards for ice.

Morning found Yolanda the Muscle Princess looking for ways to hide the disaster that had befallen her army in the east. She'd been utterly horrified by the news that her best troops had been turned into undead and sent shambling back across the border to terrorize their neighbors. It had taken hours to put them all down, with many of her citizens fleeing in droves and getting underfoot, while her remaining troops carefully whittled back the numbers of undead by trap and ambush.

With the last undead down, the disturbed princess headed for home. On the way, she rehearsed and re-rehearsed the lie she hoped would get her through Maja's scrutiny. Striding through the door of her palace, the body-builder was immediately deluged by an army of angry landholders and merchants. They got up in her face and began to harangue her about what had happened with the zombies. As if that wasn't enough, they demanded to know why the army's response was so poor. There would be little hiding the scale of today's disaster when people realized that the zombies _were_ the army.

Yolanda felt a mild thrill of fear as she realized that even a princess could be fired. What would she do? How would she spin this? She stood there a moment amidst the shouting of her terrified subjects, trying to think of a solution to the problem. While she was wading through that, her eyes caught sight of Maja standing on the balcony staring down at her. The witch's eyes told the tale. She'd already gotten the news. Yolanda the Muscle Princess swallowed hard on her terror as she suddenly realized that her lies to her people were the least of her problems.

Elsewhere, Finn the Human sat in Shoko's old room poring over reports from the field. He'd chosen the room both as a reminder that this Kingdom wasn't _his_ and to remind him of Shoko, whom he hadn't seen since before the Lich was released. It allowed him to slip across the garden to see Bonnie and the others, but it gave him space to be alone to think. The problem of today was the ongoing riots. So far, nearly all of his allied kingdoms were experiencing unrest. There were reports of riots everywhere but in Noemi, Hamest, and Alexia's kingdoms. And if that wasn't enough, there was the issue of what to do next.

He had Billy boarding a plane in a couple of days to go to Jungle Kingdom to beg for radioactive ore, but he still had to force Wildberry and Maja to the bargaining table. He was starting to think that ratcheting up the pain against their allies was the key to the strategy. That meant he needed to get Ingrid's kingdom in full-on attack mode to keep them busy while he worked on Maudie, Yolanda, and Bathilde. If he could eliminate one or more of those three, he stood a fair chance of dragging his enemies to the bargaining table, shutting down this stupid war, and returning the Kingdoms of Ooo to peace. He didn't really care if Wildberry and her friends went their own ways. He wanted the fighting to stop.

While he was working out how to make the few soldiers he had stretch to cover a campaign against Yolanda, most isolated of the trio, knocking at his door announced a visitor. "Come," he greeted the figure on the far side. The door swung in to reveal the woman who'd cussed and shouted and threatened him just days ago. Heedless of all that had got said, Finn came to his feet and even came around the desk to greet her. But Breezy was doing everything in her power not to look at him. Her eyes kept sliding away from his face, and she was looking at the floor a lot–telling him something about her state of mind.

"Hey, B," Finn greeted Breezy. He'd been expecting this visit. "Finn," she murmured. "I..." He knew what she was going to say. "I... you... it was just like you said," she sniffed. Marshall Lee had terrorized the Muscle Kingdom troops until they bolted. Before his eyes, she began to cry. Wrapping his arms around her shoulders, he said, "it's ok, B." "I screamed at you and cussed you," she wailed. Breezy went into full meltdown, and the big man held her until she realized she was crying all over him. She very nearly bolted, but Finn held on, whispering, "you know I love you, B, right?" Breezy nodded. She knew.

Stepping back, the bee woman said, "I-I heard you gave away your honey..." Finn nodded. Wringing her hands, she said, "but that was a gift. For you." It was an over-generous gift for a man who had been of very little consequence to the Bee-People, and they both knew it. Daubing at her tear-streaked face, he said, "and it was a wonderful gift, B. It helped me protect the peeps I'm responsible for." "But that's unfair," she howled! "You hardly got to have any! Y-you give and give... What do _you_ get?" Smiling, Finn replied, "great friends like you." That precipitated another heart-wrenching crying-jag. Finn gathered his dear old friend in and held her tight, as he whispered, "you saved me twice over, B. I'm never gonna' forget that. I'd die before I let you down." "I know," she sniffed. "Now that's one I owe _you_."

Stepping back, the big man said, "I kinda' got work to do. You understand." She did. Recovered some, she said, "we'll talk. We need to figure out what I'm going to be doing to help straighten this mess out." "Sure, B," he said. "We'll talk later." Without a further word, she turned and slipped out his door. No sooner had she gone, than Drew slipped in through the garden door. "You handled that well," said the beautiful doctor. The swelling was down. Now it was just her schnoz swathed in bandages. Upset all over again, Finn threw himself on his wife and tried to hug the stuffing out of her. "I know," she sighed. Impish chuckle, and she added, "I guess we're speaking again..." "Yeah," he said. "Betty... got my head on straight again." Capturing her face with his hands, the tall beauty gave him a smoking kiss that curled his toes.

 _So far, so good,_ she thought. She was running interference–keeping an eye on Finn, while the others dealt with a rather severe problem that he didn't have the time for right now. Settling on the edge of his desk, she began to talk, filling the time with talk of what had gone on while he was in his ugly exile, while on the outskirts of town, Simone drove up to the treehouse with her mom in the backseat and a cranky and irritable Sarah in the passenger seat. Bon, who lacked the equipment to figure out what was wrong with the android-woman, had called Simone, who had the power to stabilize her in an emergency. Now, after an epic ride down the deserted highways of the Candy Kingdom, they were home. Sarah, who'd wanted to stay and finish the work on whatever pathogen was causing the riots, was bitterly angry at being overruled. Now, after developing a killer headache along the way, she was going along to get along.

Climbing the stairs, she at least got to admire Simone's epic butt. Just like Finn, she thought Betty and Simone made a matched set of titanic boobies and fat, round asses. A twisted corner of her mind wanted to watch the man of the house get it on with both at once. Arriving in the living room, Simone called out to the oddest member of the family while Betty steered Sarah to a seat in their sturdiest chair. "Beemo," called Simone! "Beemo, come out here...!"

After several minutes of calling, the game-bot appeared. "Hey," he greeted them. His eyes were on the android woman. "Need your help," said Simone. Nodding at Sarah, she added, "my friend there isn't feeling well. We were hoping you could help out by maybe plugging in and seeing what's wrong..." Beemo, who'd been eyeing the android woman since the first time she'd come here, eagerly agreed, whipping out his interface plug in excitement. Simone picked him up and plunked him down on the table behind Sarah.

"Ok, sweetie," said Simone. "Hold still..." Deftly she fit Beemo's interface plug into the port behind Sarah's ear before plugging the other end into Beemo. "Ok, Beemo," said Simone. "Can you see Sarah's internal network?" "Yes," said the game-bot. "Mommy needs you to do a scan," said Simone. "I need to know if there's anything suspicious..." Beemo's eyes squinted as he concentrated for a few minutes while Betty paced in nervous concern. Finally Beemo said, "one overlay algorithm and seven password-protected folders..." "Wait," muttered Sarah. "How is it that _I_ don't see those folders?"

"Root-kit," Beemo replied. "They're hidden from the operating system..." Sarah very nearly spun around. It was only Betty's hand on her shoulder that stopped her from accidentally jerking the jack out of her skull. "What the hell is a root-kit," Simone burbled? Betty, who now saw red, replied, "it's malware designed to stay hidden from the computer it's hosted on." Turning to Beemo, Betty asked, "what does that algorithm do?" At Simone's questioning look, Betty said, "playing a hunch..." Beemo spent a while examining the algorithm. At various times Sarah found herself squirming in her chair or even giggling in vapid happiness.

Done with the diagnostic, Beemo said, "root-kit algorithm interrupts big sister's autonomy algorithm... by stimulating happiness algorithm and naughty algorithm..." It took a moment. Both Betty and Simone flushed to their hair as they realized what the 'naughty algorithm' must be, then flushed again as they realized what Bonnie had done to their friend. "What about the overheating and the pain," asked Simone? Beemo replied, "when big sister is being stubborn, the algorithm kicks into high gear. It's pegging big sister's CPU and memory at max throughput..." "She's getting overclocked by junkware," muttered Betty. Bonnie's malware was literally killing their friend.

Simone asked the obvious, "can you remove the program?" "Need password," Beemo replied. No, Bonnie wouldn't have made it that simple. Grimacing, Sarah muttered, "the checksum doesn't match..." At Betty's questioning look, the android said, "my entire life, whenever I ran a diagnostic on myself, I always got the same report on my memory. Now it's changed. Somehow I have missing memory..." Nodding to herself, Betty said, "that's how it's hidden itself. Those folders are hidden in the missing piece of your memory..." "Where I can't reach them," muttered Sarah, "dammit..."

Scrubbing her hands across her face, Simone paced back and forth. "Beemo," she asked, "can you shut down the bad program?" Frowning, Beemo replied, "until next power-cycle..." That tenuous hope lasted until Sarah said, "that ain't gonna' work. I'd never sleep again..." "You're a machine," Betty reminded her. Shaking her head, Sarah replied, "I'm designed with a human duty-cycle, Betty... I _have_ to sleep. If I don't it puts strains on some of my components–especially the flesh-and-blood ones. I was made to be a companion..." "...and normal people sleep," muttered Simone. Reaching into her pocket, Simone drew her phone and dialed Lollipop. When the thin woman answered, she said, "hi, Lolli... Need you to set up an emergency conference. All of us. All but Bonnie. I'll explain at the meeting..."

Down in the bowels of the palace, one of the interested parties was facing a confrontation of her own. Street violence had seen a small and rather strange uptick. It was like every gang in the Candy Kingdom was focused on one small group. That group was facing brutal, even _ferocious_ sanctions. Many had just _disappeared_ , and Star knew exactly what that meant. Trouble was that she'd arm-twisted her stepmom to institute a truce. There should be no murders in the kingdom.

The wizard found her wicked stepmother in a cramped office down in the dark recesses of Bonnie's palace, almost like she belonged in the shadows. That was starting to bother the younger woman. Nobody could live in darkness like that and long stay sane. "Hey," said the wood-nymph as she stepped into the cramped office. Cherry barely glanced up from her perusal of the papers on the desk before her. Glancing around her at the spartan surroundings, Star remarked, "I thought Bonnie lent you a nicer office." Cherry glanced up, finding her stepchild standing there looking just as beautiful as she always did. Without the muck on her face and wearing something nice and slinky, Star was a very beautiful young woman. In a lot of ways, she reminded the crime-lord of the woman she'd been–young and full of potential. And that was the hell of her current situation. Coolly Cherry replied, "this isn't nice work..." Which somewhat confirmed the wood nymph's concerns.

On her side, Star couldn't help but notice the way her wicked, evil stepmom looked at her just then. It was just like she'd thought. Settling on the edge of the desk, the young lady looked Cherry in the eye and said, "we need to talk." "I'm listening," replied the older woman. They had become remarkably _frank_. Theirs was a different relationship than the one Star had shared with her birth-mother. There was love and affection, but there was a great deal of respect. "I... understand how you feel," she said. "When I thought my mom was gone... after I'd literally punched her in the mouth..." Cherry frowned at her stepkid, but she said nothing.

"Look," said Star, as she got to the point of this visit, "you're letting grief tear you up again. You're letting it drag you down the road to ruin. How long are you going to hold onto this? If you start things again..." Cherry had known what this little visit was about when she saw Star come through that door. "For the record," rumbled Cherry. "I'm... _over_ what happened to Root Beer. It's the past. I can't change it, and I've got too much stake in the current status quo, Star. No, what keeps me up nights is the fact that nasty-berry somehow brought that fucking bitch back from the dead. She's out there now. She's tried to murder your sister and your birth-mother. She's tried to set the grasslands ablaze. And now all I can think is that I stand to lose my everything all over again."

Setting the papers down, the older woman looked up, and her expression was bleak as she said, "months ago, I envisioned myself sitting there in the front row, watching you walk down the aisle. I... I'm not your birth-momma, but I thought I'd get to come. You'd be there in a pretty dress, and your dad would walk you down, while we all watched. And now there's somebody trying to murder my friends. There's a sick fuck trying to abduct my sons. And you're in danger, Star. You're right there in the thick of things, and there's nothing I can do to protect you." Calming herself, the Mafia Princess said, "so I have _work_ to do. Some people are going to die. They're going to suffer ugly fates because this is the only power I have to protect the people I love. It makes me sick inside, but I would kill this Sugarlump and her brothers and her sisters and every fucking precious person in her life until my family is safe. And I will do everything in my power to send Maja back to hell where she belongs..."

Star sighed heavily. She really had nothing to say to that. Her stepmother was right in the ways that mattered. She felt the same. Having grown up with the love of her brother and sister and the love of the three siblings they didn't realize they had, she'd come to realize early on how much family mattered. It was, quite literally, the most important thing there was for her. At the same time, there had to be better ways of protecting their people. Taking the papers out of her stepmother's hands, the young woman said, "nothing can be accomplished by you going it alone, momma. Nothing. We're a family. We're doing this together, ok?" With a sigh, the crime-boss said, "alright, Star. We'll try it your way for a while." Smiling, the young woman said, "come on. Let's go up to _my_ office and strategize."

Before Cherry could even get out of her chair, her phone rang. As Star frowned, the little beauty picked up the phone and announced, "yes?" There weren't many people who even knew this number was active, so she had a pretty good idea it was one of the members of the Council. Sure enough, Lollipop's voice announced, "Cherry? It's me. Simone's calling a meeting..." Cherry put the phone on speaker and asked, "what about?" Simone was self-appointed leader and overlord of Finn's wives–something that they had all had to get themselves used to. On the flipside of the coin, the Ice Queen never dared to exert her influence or power. She didn't have to. Nobody had any interest in blowing up their family.

There was a pause on the other end of the line. With a sigh, Lollipop said, "Simone's talking of sanctions against Bonnie." Cherry's blood went ice-cold, and her eyes flicked to Star's. She had been a little hasty in putting the phone on speaker. "What did she do," demanded the wizard? Lollipop was startled, and she seemed hesitant to answer. Cherry growled, "answer her. This affects her life too." "It's Sarah," murmured Lollipop. "Bonnie's done something awful to her."

She quickly ran down the story of what Simone and Betty had discovered. Now Star was seeing red herself. "You will call Bon and Shoko and Billy and Fionna and Marshall," rumbled the little wizard. Alarmed, Cherry said, "but, Star..." "We're as much a part of adopting Sarah as you are," retorted the wizard. Fionna especially had adopted Sarah. More to the point, it was possible that Bon could fix the problem without blowing up the family. No-one was really anxious for a fight of that scale.

Meanwhile, in Muscle Kingdom, Wildberry was trying to calm the strife in her own faction. Yolanda's antics and Maja's violent over-reaction threatened to sabotage not only their current alliances but future ones as well. Yolanda was actually considering declaring neutrality, and Wildberry wanted the evil witch to apologize. Marching into Maja's portable lab on the Royal Train, she found the evil older woman seated at a table before a strange little lizard-creature. Between them sat decks of Card Wars cards and a playmat. After the blowout with Yolanda, she was hardly expecting _that_!

"Why're you playing that stupid game," demanded Wildberry? The witch never looked up from her play as she responded, "this is how he thinks... Vampiric Ice Storm..." As Wildberry watched, a glowing white cloud sprang into being and flattened the homunculus's Husker Knights. Irritated–she _hated_ Card Wars–Wildberry growled, "you may have chased off an ally...!" Behaving much like she hadn't heard that, the witch explained, "this game is played very much in stream of consciousness. You're constantly adjusting to the cards–the creatures–dealt into your hand, and you're constantly reacting to the creatures your opponent deploys... A good player can immediately deploy the optimum card from his hand to attack or exploit an opponent's mistake, but you have no way to plan ahead..."

Wildberry had absolutely no idea what any of that meant, and she said so. "It simply means," said Maja, "that he uses his allies like creatures from his deck. He doesn't plan how he'll use his alliances in advance. He reacts to what we're doing... A thousand coins says he'll deploy his charming son to Jungle Kingdom to sweet-talk that bitch into handing over ore for their defense." Wildberry goggled at her, but Maja was already moving on. Her eyes glowed with pale fire and the playmat transformed itself before the berry-person's eyes, becoming a map of Ooo.

Now Maja declared, "Ice-Prince to Jungle Kingdom..." The homunculus spent a long time staring at his new deck. After a moment, he plucked a card, announcing, "Wildberry Princess." Wildberry's face went red hot. "Looks like you're taking a trip, dearie," said Maja with an evil smile. A terrified Wildberry babbled, "w-what about Yolanda...?" Maja shrugged and said, "where's she going to go? She just tried to invade a neighbor..." Wildberry goggled at her, then goggled again as the implications hit home. She and Blargetha had done far worse than trying to invade a neighbor. Maja said nothing about that, though her eyes held an evil glint as she took in Wildberry's distress. In sweet tones, the witch taunted her, "why don't you go pack for your trip, sweetums...?" The fallen princess bolted.

Back in the Candy Kingdom, Simone was just finishing up her explanations. She had a rather sober group on the phone, and it was clear she felt the strain. This was the first real conflict most of them had seen as part of the blended family. Now as the scope of what Bonnie had done became clear, there was dismay and more than a little disgust. Lollipop, who was no scientist, immediately turned to Bon and Shoko, asking, "can't you remove these folders?" Both young people were mortified that their mother would create a sentient lifeform and then enslave it. This went far beyond the pale of the ethics they had been raised with.

Neither sibling spoke for many minutes. Shoko was horrified, and Bon was taking a very ugly trip down memory lane. Finally the younger sibling spoke. "Out of the question," she muttered. There were howls of protest, but it was Fionna of all people who cut them off. When she had quiet, the second oldest sibling asked, "technical reasons or moral..." With a sigh, Bon replied, "technical, Fi..." She could almost _hear_ the 'of course' in his tone. Sadly, Shoko explained, "we have no idea what's in those folders, Fi. Without the password, we risk quite literally _killing_ the person we know as Sarah. Worse, if mother modified the kernel, there may not be a way to fix this." Only her mother knew the truth.

"Alright," said Simone. "We've heard the news, and we've heard about the options. Now we need to decide where we go from here. I intend to impose sanctions. All those in favor must vote in the affirmative. Vote your conscience. This represents a grave risk for our family, and I will require a unanimous vote." Immediately Shoko declared, "I vote for sanctions." There was a little bit of surprise at that news, but Cherry swiftly agreed. Nadia was a little more hesitant, but Lollipop also quickly agreed. One by one each member of the family voted for sanctions against Bonnibel until only her firstborn child remained.

Before Bon could vote, his wife slapped the mute-button on his phone. Irritated, he asked, "what do you think you're doing?" "You were going to vote yes," she growled! She could see it in his eyes. Far from denying it, Bon simply told her, "yes. I was. Should I not?" Which was hardly what she'd hoped to hear. She was terrified of what they were talking about. All of this over a _machine_?!

"B-but that's your own mother," howled Frenchie! Face gone sour, Bon said, "do you think I forgot?" His wife flinched, but the tall man carried on, voice gone cold and hard. She'd never seen a side to him like this. "Do you forget how we came to be husband and wife," he demanded? Frenchie flushed to her hair, and she looked as if she might cry or run. Cupping her face with one massive hand–it was uncanny that he'd never noticed before how his hands matched his father's–Bon said, "I wouldn't trade our marriage. I wouldn't give up our boy, my darling wife, but I won't ever forget the treachery involved in bringing us together. My own mother... _drugged_ me. She drugged me to twist my will so that I would do her bidding. I forgave her, but I won't ever _forget_ what she did."

He had her full and undivided attention now. "My mother spins lies and then spins lies to cover the lies. Sometimes I fear she doesn't even realize how much damage she's doing to other people's lives. And if that wasn't bad enough, she literally has the power of life in her hands. Do you understand what that means? Bonnibel Bubblegum can literally bring forth life. In itself that's a terrifying responsibility. And yet every single time she's bent her mind to create life, she's managed to botch the job out of her own selfishness and arrogance. And when her creations fail to satisfy whatever twisted desire exists in her heart, she exiles them or abuses them. This has to stop. If she won't stop it, then we will _make_ her stop. _I_ will make her stop."

Tapping the mute button once more, Bon replied, "I hereby make it unanimous. Sanctions." "Then let it be done," muttered Simone. "Henceforth, only official business. We will not speak to her unless business calls us to. We will enjoin her from participation in family events, and we will exile her from our homes." As Frenchie listened in horror, the pack of them hung up the phone. Bon, far from being upset, was coldly furious. Without a further word, he got up, headed back to his lab, and shut the door.

 **Sorry for the slow rate of updates. The longer chapters are taking more effort to write, and with work and the holidays I've fallen behind. Working to try and get ahead again.**


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28:

The Candy Kingdom's airfield had been a bit of a happening place since it was first constructed in the years before the aliens came. The Grid-Face people would stop there to trade in the fabulous items they found across the breadth of Ooo. And, if you had something valuable to them, they would gleefully take you with them on an odyssey. Cherry distinctly remembered Root Beer wanting to pay or bribe his way onto one of those fabulous flying machines. In the long ago days of their romance–before married life got the better of them–he was full of dreams like that. She'd come to resent those dreams. She'd wanted him to settle down into being a husband and father, and she resented the dreams he'd had of going other places. When he wanted to see the world–with _her_ –she rejected him.

 _But the world changed,_ she thought. She'd seen her husband rise to fulfill a part of his dream. He'd been commander of the army that kept the Candy Kingdom safe. He'd lost his life, but he'd risen to be everything he'd dreamed of being. And she'd remained firmly rooted in her hunger for normalcy–a normalcy that had slipped through her fingers like sand through a sieve. Now she jetted around the world, managing an empire that he would have found amazing. She rode the train to distant lands, and, when that wasn't enough, she traveled on the very flying machines that had so fascinated her late husband. Far from being an ordinary candy-person, she was the most extraordinary–wife to Finn the Human and a princess in her own right. _If he could see you now,_ she thought.

Billy was, somehow, the twisted reflection of what she used to be. He wanted his quiet, peaceful life. He wanted nothing more than to be a husband and a father. He was, in many ways, the man Cherry had wanted Root Beer to be. Just now, he was griping about having to take another trip out of town when it seemed he'd only just gotten back from the last one. He was flying out to Jungle Kingdom to beg for radioactive ore on behalf of his father, and he was hardly pleased by that. The whole family seemed like it was taking flight and all under a cloud of discontent. Bonnie's treachery against Sarah and the ongoing crisis with the riots were all contributing to a pall that hung over the King of Ooo's family.

"Bill," interrupted Cherry. The big man rounded on her. "Sit," she said. For a wonder, he did just as asked. "Bill," the little woman said, "the world doesn't move the way any of us want it to. Call it Glob's will, call it the perversity of Fate if you want. A man makes the best of the situation he's been handed. None of us want to be away from home or each other, but the world will fall apart on us if we don't go. Take this time to enjoy what you have instead of griping about the time you stand to lose. You never know when you're going to walk out the door and never come back." Billy the Hero opened his mouth with a ready retort and shut it again as he realized that Cherry, of all people, knew exactly what she was talking about. "Sorry," he sighed. "Don't be sorry to _me_ , William Mertens," she retorted. "Love your wife. Love your son." Ragnhild was smiling at him when he turned his face back to hers.

For Cherry, it was going to be a short-hop. She was headed to the Warrior Kingdom with her husband. She was going to be digging into the case of the missing vampires on behalf of her stepson. Among other things. Finn was going out into the field with _her_ to look in on the far-flung towns of the kingdom and shore up the defenses with the weapons he'd bought with another of the precious treasures he'd obtained in his youth–another source of the little princess's unhappiness.

Cherry was starting to see the things that Betty saw. The world and all its ugly was starting to grind away her precious husband, wearing him down to nothing. They were watching it happen almost literally before their eyes, and there seemed nothing they could do. What else was he going to have to give up? She was certain she didn't want the answer to that. She could replace a few golden trinkets. She could buy him a jar of honey. She could never replace one of the children. After seeing what had happened to Shoko, Cherry feared that even the decorpsinator serum couldn't save her sons if she lost them. _Focus,_ she told herself. She'd never had more to lose, and the fear of loss was starting to control her every waking moment.

The limousine pulled to a stop on the airfield, and the pack of them piled out. Billy hugged his adopted son and then kissed his wife. Before he could go, Cherry insisted on hugging him herself. "Be careful, Bill," she whispered. "Come home to us. We need you." The younger man was blushing to his hair when she let go, but Cherry was already headed across to the airship that was going to carry his father to Warrior Kingdom. She had gone from implacable enemy to unshakable friend. He still didn't understand it, but he was coming to accept it. He thought part of it was Breezy's song. He'd begun to feel like a different man after hearing it. He still remembered JJ, but he no longer felt the pain that had made him almost _brittle_. Now, as Cherry glanced back at him, he realized that Breezy had saved her life too. _And maybe you can forgive her what she's done,_ he decided. Shaking himself, he gave Ragnhild a peck on the cheek, shouldered his bag, and headed up the ramp to his own destiny.

Finn, who'd been closeted with Ingrid, Breezy, and Betty for much of the ride over from the palace, now left the trio behind and came back to her. She knew exactly what he was thinking. "He's having some troubles adjusting, honey," she told him. "I was just giving him a little heartfelt advice." Finn blushed a little. Thanking her, he said, "c'mon... We were talking about what we need to get done in Ingrid's place." He picked up Cherry's bag–ever the gentleman–and headed up the ramp with it. Cherry fell in after him, spending a little time watching that butt as he climbed up into the airship. She _really_ needed to take her own advice.

Nadia's hand-picked pilot flew them out to the Warrior Kingdom, leapfrogging the Tesla Barrier and the no-man's land east of Candy-Town in one go to deposit them outside Ingrid's capitol. The airfield itself was almost empty, with only a handful of rental trucks still in the lot. Everything else had been _requisitioned_ by Ingrid's army and used to tote soldiers out into the wild lands between towns. The airfield itself was devoid of planes. At the moment, Nadia's people had better things to do than provide broadening travel to the rubes here. Finn was a little nervous as he watched the pilot set them down. The towns were buttoned up, but the airfield was in the middle of nothing. Fortunately, there was a contingent of the guard on duty here, watching over the empty terminal just in case there was an arrival.

This was Ingrid's domain and Ingrid's show, so Betty and Cherry took a step back, as the tall princess led the way down the ramp. She got pride of place in the first vehicle to arrive, and she insisted on taking Finn and Breezy with her. Cherry and Betty got a vehicle to themselves in a clear sign of just how the lady of the land felt about the fellowship she wanted so badly to join. Neither woman said a word. She would learn. Just as Bonnie was learning, Ingrid would learn what it meant to be part of the whole. Or else.

Ingrid, for her part, was a little surprised to find Kurja driving when she settled into the seat of her conveyance. "I took the liberty," he smoothly explained. "I thought you might wish to hear my report." She felt a moment's panic, and her eyes flicked to Finn, who seemed to be staring at the undead. _Does he know,_ she thought? The idea terrified her. "Sure man," said Finn. "What you got?" "Your Excellency," the ghoul greeted the King of Ooo. "I am commander of Her Highness's... Special Infantry... We control the bad lands that lie east and north..." "The disputed territory," Finn burbled. "Just so, sire," said the ghoul. Finn seemed to ponder that a moment before asking, "and how's that going?" "Very well indeed, sire," replied the ghoul.

Kurja had a great deal to report. Probes had already come along all the most readily accessible portions of the border. Those had been detected by the various towns and outposts along the frontier and defeated by swift movements of the army. They had been following the 'kill all they send' strategy with the expectation that eventually the enemy would stop sending more. "Not with Maja behind them," grumbled Finn. Wildberry was in it to win it. She didn't have a choice anymore. They needed to get busy on figuring out what they were going to be doing to possibly force this to a conclusion–a showdown that even Maja would have to accept.

As Finn pondered how best to do that, hundreds of miles away, across the ocean, Billy the Human Boy walked into the presence of Abeiuwa, Princess of the Jungle Kingdom. He'd spent the entire trip over thinking and rehearsing what he was going to say. With Ragnhild's thoughts firmly in mind, he'd immersed himself in the history of Jungle Kingdom and its princess. He'd found a land that was anything but primitive. The people there were somewhat isolated. They were surrounded by bands of riotous jungle growth alternating with splotches of barren, blasted rock and desert sand.

Abeiuwa's people contested fierce mutated creatures for the fruit of their land, managing to thrive in a land that seemed hungry for their blood. Far from merely surviving, they lived a more comfortable life than the Lizard Folk. Their walled cities contained marvels of technology left over from before the Mushroom War. The average citizen was educated and prosperous. It was hardly any wonder at all that their princess was ambitious and even a little _arrogant_. She had a right to be with all her people had accomplished here.

Walking into the princess's formal audience hall, he thought he knew what he was going to say. He was going to compliment his host not on her beauty but on the intellect and power of her people. At least he was before he saw Wildberry sitting on the dais alongside and just below Abeiuwa's throne. "Greetings William Mertens, son of Finn," rumbled the teal-skinned beauty on the dais. She wore a leopard-skin dress that came down to her ankles and enough bangles and baubles that she looked like a jewelry shop. Billy gave her a sweeping bow as his mind struggled to figure out what he was going to do with _this_ development.

"You have better manners than your father," rumbled the Princess's husband. He was a nasty, ornery cuss. He liked Finn not at all, and Billy rather got the impression that it was the same jealousy that afflicted a lot of Royal Husbands on Ooo. After all, most such men had little of the social currency or man-cred that his father did. They were all men that the various Royals had _settled for_ when Billy's mom came on the scene and bagged Finn without the least struggle.

Ignoring the by-play, Billy offered, "I have come to offer greetings from my father, the King of Ooo." Resting her face on her hand, Wildberry retorted, "your daddy already greeted my colleague..." Billy told the teal-skinned beauty, "with the Peace of Ooo shattered, there are many competing factions who bring currents of fear and destructive temptation. Wise as you are, my father has no fear that such foolish blandishments could sway you into a rash course of action..." The bored-looking princess sat up then, and her eyes narrowed on his. Continuing to speak, Billy said, "my father was delighted to have you call on him in the Candy Kingdom. He hopes that someday, when he has the time to build a suitable place to receive you, that you would call on him again. He greatly _misses_ the contests of his youth."

Abeiuwa flushed slightly. Billy had heard stories of the epic wrestling matches his dad had fought with this madwoman. Frowning, Abeiuwa's husband, Oreva, growled, "do you offer combat to my wife, stranger?" "Merely talking of past contests, Lord," Billy replied. "One can remember them fondly without trying to conjure them up again." Wildberry's eyes flicked to the big man who stood at Jungle Princess's left. That was odd, and Billy began to wonder just what she'd been up to. Somehow she'd gotten here before him, and the young hero was a little concerned about that. At the same time, it didn't really bear thinking about. He had to focus on the real power here. Abeiuwa had the right to refuse him.

Gesturing, she said, "let the emissary of the King of the North come forward." There was that term again. His dad had said it. Abeiuwa didn't want to recognize his authority. She clearly saw herself as being on the outside, watching this contest from afar. At the worst, she could very well see herself as being a power-broker. That would bring them trouble in the future if they managed to win this mad war. It was a short step from power-broker to rival. Still, this was the situation he had, and he had to play the hand he was dealt. Stepping forward, he stopped at the foot of the dais and again bowed to his host. That seemed to amuse Abeiuwa's husband. "Is your spine damaged, boy," asked the other fellow?

Abeiuwa's husband, and Billy could see what his host saw in the man. Somebody like the fellow she'd failed to reel in. He was still a fit man, but the paunch at his middle and his thinning hair showed that he'd become a little too used to standing in that spot at the princess's side. He wasn't aging well. He was only a few years older than his Princess, but he looked much older than that. "I am well," Billy replied. There was a strange scent in the air, but the young man decided that it was something to worry about later. Right now, he calmly said, "as you gave my father a gift when last you called on him, so he returns the favor." Going into his pocket, he brought out a sliver of plant-matter captured in his sister's peculiar pink crystal. The man on the dais intercepted the gift. Holding it up to the light, he demanded, "what manner of trash is this?" With a shrug, Billy replied, "a cutting from the Grass Sword..."

Abeiuwa's mouth came open, and her head snapped around to where her husband was shaking the crystal. She snatched the thing out of his hand and held it up in front of her own face. "I would put that thing down," growled Wildberry. "It's dangerous. You don't know how dangerous..." Abeiuwa was too busy being fascinated by the snippet to even notice her guest was speaking, but her husband snatched the thing from her hands as if she'd just ordered him to. Irritated, Abeiuwa snapped, "you forget yourself, Oreva. We will accept King Finn's gift. Please place it in my treasure chest." Wildberry watched the big man go, her face alive with her unease. That strange expression gave rise to Billy's unease. What was she doing? How did it involve his host?

Back in the Candy Kingdom, Bonnie Bubblegum walked into her office after a short run around the palace. With P-Bot working on some of the tasks that typically ate up her time, the candy monarch had time to exercise once more, and she was working on some of the stubborn belly fat from Rosie. She wasn't seeing either Finn or Marceline the way she wanted. Now _their_ work was in the way, but she had some ideas to help with that. Humming a tune, the tall princess almost didn't notice Simone standing there.

A thrill of fear shot through her. Simone should be in Wizard City, researching the Quicksilver Curse. What was she doing _here_ and why now? A part of her worried Simone had bad news. At the same time, her conscience worried that maybe Simone had stumbled onto her dangerous little secret. "Oh, hey," Bonnie greeted her neighbor. Simone strode straight up to her, grey eyes flashing in anger. Bonnie's heart lurched as the angry Ice Queen said, "when you offered to look Sarah over for damage and wear, we all hoped you'd gotten the jealousy under control..." Bonnie's eyes said it all. _Caught!_

Nodding, Simone demanded, "explain..." Bonnie's face went red. What the hell was she going to say? It wasn't like Phoebe. She didn't even have the excuse that P-Bot was dangerous. Her double had saved many lives in the Grand Master's audience hall when the Lich attacked. Nodding to herself, Simone reared back and punched the bubblegum princess square in the face. "Ow," howled Bonnie as she clutched her nose. "Is this what we're doing now, Bonnibel," shrieked a furious Simone?! "Brainwashing each other to get our way?! Sarah _trusted_ you!"

Bonnie shouted at her–or she tried to. The blood dripping on her track suit was distracting. "You will undo this, Bonnibel," growled Simone. "We've all spoken at length. You're going to undo what you did..." Or else. Bonnie shouted, "you don't have the right! That android belongs to me!" Simone retorted, "that _person_ belongs to herself, Bonnibel. We will find a way to undo your treachery. Mark my words. You have until Finn returns before I reveal this..." Then Simone strode out, slamming the door as she did so.

Morning found Finn standing in the ornamental garden that the princess's winter palace came fitted with. The space was built more for visitors than for the princess herself, and Finn had the run of the place. Just now, he was taking the opportunity to do just that. The palace was like Ingrid's kingdom in microcosm just now. The kingdom was locked down and the borders patrolled. The towns were locked down, with the gates shut and men and women on sentry. And here in the heart of the capitol, the palace itself was locked down with only those the princess invited being allowed in. Finn was doing laps this morning, exercising his body to enable his overwrought mind to relax. This wasn't the sort of fight he'd been prepared for. It wasn't a battle that he could fall back on stories of Billy the Hero to help him win.

As he was making his seventeenth lap, a familiar voice called out to him. Finn stopped under a tree and looked up to find Breezy sitting there on one of the stouter limbs wearing a gown in soft gossamer silk. Smiling up at his dear old friend, Finn said, "was doing laps. What's got you up?" Smiling down, she said, "was enjoying the view..." The big man blushed to his hair, and momentarily he was looking for his shirt. Floating down to the ground, the bee-woman said, "no need right now. Actually, it's... _useful_ that you're not wearing it right now." Warily, he answered that with, "oh?" "Nothing like that," she said, mock-punching him in the shoulder. "I'm married, Finn." Blushing and grinning, he laughed about that. Oh, the life he led.

"Come along, hero," she said. "I have something for you." Frowning again, the big man followed her. With long strides, she covered the distance to the stone gazebo that stood in the middle of the garden. Ingrid's mother had typically met distinguished guests there for private discussions. Now Breezy led Finn up the stairs and inside, where he found there were half a dozen of her people waiting. By their dress, he thought they were dignitaries. Indicating the oldest of them, she said, "this is Patriarch Zim. He's here to help me with a ceremony..." Frowning, Finn asked, "what kind of ceremony?" She stroked his arm–the strange construct that masqueraded as his flesh and blood–with the tip of a finger and said, "we're going to make sure nasty Maja doesn't do something awful to my favorite champion and hero."

At his puzzled look, the bee-woman bade him, "c'mon, hero. Kneel. Right there." Semi-reluctantly Finn knelt down before her. Kneeling down behind him, Breezy whispered, "calm yourself, Finn." Her supple but strong fingers kneaded his taught, tense muscles. At the same time, she slowly trilled a song of healing in his ear. Slowly he relaxed, feeling the worry and strain drain from his body. In short order, she had him kneeling there in a fuzzy haze. Sitting down cross-legged behind him, the Queen Bee whispered, "feeling better?" Absently, Finn nodded. Breezy glanced to the acolyte on her right, who strode forward with a spoonful of a strange, reddish goo. "Swallow it all, my beautiful champion," Breezy whispered. Obediently, Finn did just as he was asked.

The strange fluid was almost _chunky_. At the same time, it seemed to flow into him as if it might well become a part of him. It was strangely invigorating–like Grand Honey on steroids. "How do you feel," she asked? Her voice seemed to come from very far away, and he felt almost drunk–like the time he, Lady, and Jake overdosed on the honey. "Like I'm the baddest dude in the world," he admitted. "Perfect," she breathed. Now all the bee-people began to sing. At first it was like a cacophony of noise, but somehow in his mind the group of them began to synchronize.

He felt himself floating away, leaving his body, as that song went on and on. It was a lot like the night he discovered his connection to the strange ghost-woman who'd haunted him since his abortive attempt to prank Jake. He saw _things_. Children that he didn't know he had and a woman who mourned him across the remnant of a very long life. He saw worlds that he'd somehow touched that he couldn't recall even seeing. He thought of Simon, who'd been hiding out in the darkness the last he'd seen of him, and just that thought brought him to a strange place that reminded him of nothing so much as the old man's music room in his ice-castle from a lifetime ago.

He could hear Simon, and he heard Marceline. They were talking about something, and he strained to hear what it was. And then he heard Breezy's voice. It called to him out of the darkness between life and death. That was when he awoke to find himself staring up at his 'bro' with her strangely pretty face. His head was in her lap, and he was looking up past her boobies. Startled and embarrassed, he sat up and went crazy dizzy. "Not so fast," she scolded him. "You need time to recover... Here, let us help you..."

The bee-people helped him all the way back to his room where they found Betty up and awake. Seeing how groggy he was, she was a little alarmed, but Breezy swore that he would be fine. Yawning a little herself, she said, "I'll leave him in your hands. See you in a little while." And just like her name, she breezed out of there. Finn got put back to bed, while Betty went out and found Cherry. The little woman was out in the winter palace's atrium alone. She had a phone in one hand and a pile of papers strewn out on the stairs bedside her. Betty called out to announce herself, as she came down. They were, oddly enough, two peas in a pod–two women who were now unlikely lovers for a man both had wanted to hurt however they could.

As she approached, Cherry hung up the phone. "News," asked Betty? Frowning, Cherry said, "anonymous phone call. Someone just dialed me up to tell me news about what berry-bitch is doing across the border." That _was_ news. "W-what have they got," asked Betty? "They're planning on moving through a corner of Engagement Ring Kingdom and coming at Ingrid's troops from behind. It's an isolated area that the Ring Guard rarely patrols. Badlands and rocks mostly..." "What will they eat," asked Betty? From things Bonnie, Ragnhild, and Billy said, the armies of most kingdoms tried to find food on their route of march. "That's the thing," said Cherry. "They're marching out of Breakfast Kingdom. It looks like they're carrying their food."

"So Strudel is helping them now," murmured Betty. "Maybe," sighed Cherry. "Maybe she doesn't have a choice." Which was a very good point. "Finn's sleeping," said Betty. "He went out to run and Breezy brought him back looking like he'd partied all night." Cherry's face whipped around. "She swore it wasn't anything like that," said the older woman. They'd have to ask later. In the now, this news about Wildberry's plans was something they had to act on.

Cherry finished up her phone calls and other business. Then, with one of her local agents in tow, she headed out to do some looking for her other _project_. While she was gone, Finn dragged himself out of bed for the second time, feeling strangely euphoric and almost exhilarated. He found Betty reading the news and having lunch, which startled him for a moment until he remembered his encounter with Breezy. "Ok," he said. "That was a little off..." Betty chuckled and shrugged. "She said she didn't jump your bones, Finn," teased the plump woman. Blushing, Finn said, "I can't remember half of it." Moving to the table, he helped himself to lunch and asked what was going on. He recalled that he was supposed to sit down with Ingrid and plan where they were going to attack. "Cherry had some news about that," said Betty. "Ingrid's looking into it."

There appeared to be no real help for it. Finn settled down to eat, finding he was ravenously hungry. While he was munching on sausages and slurping up soup, Breezy came in. She had a bowl of some strange gruel, which she salted with bits of meat before chowing down. Periodically, she would stop and glance over at Finn, who was studiously avoiding looking at her. They were like two kids, and it almost made Betty laugh. As she was about to tease Breezy about her wanting to have a _taste_ , Ingrid came barging in through the door.

"Eight-thousand men," she said. Holding up a strangely archaic-looking phone, she said, "these silly toys are rather useful." Her scouts had run out to the badlands to the west and brought back a solid report. They'd even been able to get the news back to her in time to make use of it. Carelessly tossing the phone on the table into a small puddle of spilled bug-milk, the Warrior Princess sat down at Finn's side and said, "we should leave this afternoon, if we're planning to join them." Teasing his lips with the tip of a finger, she said, "please tell me you'll go. This will be a most excellent battle." "Yeah, man," said Finn. "Wouldn't miss it."

Meanwhile, hundreds of miles south in Jungle Kingdom, Billy followed in his host's wake as she led the way through the vast industry that supported the ambitions of her people. The strange factory took traces of radioactive ore and refined and re-refined them into the more potent form that powered the various machines and technological remnants left in the world of Ooo. It was nothing like Billy was familiar with from his mother and grandparents' lessons on the lost world from before the bomb. There was no assembly line of men putting together some fantastic contrivance. Instead, there were long rows of nearly identical machines.

Like the Grid-People's airships, these machines were ancient and looked to have been lovingly cobbled back together from remnants of a forgotten time. Banks of whirring control panels with arrays of dancing lights were watched over by an army of female Jungle People. At the end of the array of machines, small greyish pellets were deposited in lead containers that were immediately whisked to an isolated site at the edge of the kingdom.

Far from being a brainless barbarian, Abeiuwa seemed shockingly intelligent. Billy couldn't really help but think that she might have given Nadia a run for her money if not Bonnie. She was definitely hiding who and what she really was, and that was a dangerous problem for Billy. It was dangerous not least because his dad had always looked on Jungle Princess as a fellow barbarian–somebody who was stupid like he was. He'd sent Billy here to sweet-talk her into giving away what was clearly a valuable resource, and now it was Billy dealing with the unexpected.

If that wasn't enough, he had Wildberry following them along and listening with interest to all that got said–even interjecting her own views. In hard, even relentless fashion, the rotten berry brought everything back to the shattered Peace. She relentlessly recycled the same arguments she'd used in the Council Hall. Bonnie was dangerous. Bonnie was going to build more terrible weapons. Bonnie would take every gram of the Jungle People's radioactive fuel and turn it into death-bombs or power horrifying weapons with it. And what was Billy to say to that? Bonnie and Phoebes had built a dangerous weapon on the down-low while everybody was busy living life after the aliens were beaten. Bonnie and Phoebes had done everything in their power to hide that weapon from anybody who might have objected or even revealed it to the world. Wildberry was _right_ in a lot of ways. If you were at all paranoid or even a touch suspicious, she was absolutely right. Billy himself scarcely trusted Bonnie. She'd... _enslaved_ Sarah. What else would she do? _But berry-bitch's hands aren't clean either,_ thought Billy.

Calmly, the big man interrupted his fellow guest's rantings with, "my father would be most grateful to have just a few ounces of your precious fuel, Your Highness..." Abeiuewa frowned at him, and her husband looked as if he might start throwing punches, but Billy smoothly explained, "he's... displeased with the rift that has been created over this matter, and he's been endeavoring to heal that rift. There are... forces that are trying to exploit the current hostilities for personal gain. It is said that the ruler of the Slime Kingdom is consorting with the outlaw, Maja, and has deposed her sister against the laws of the Civilized Kingdoms. She has made war against the people of the Candy Kingdom and against the Matriarch of the Grey Forest. So far, we have managed to contain the conflict to defensive actions, and my father has been tirelessly seeking to bring all sides to the bargaining table... He simply needs a little more time."

Fingers toying with the new pendant she wore–the crystal-encased cutting of the grass-sword–Jungle Princess said, "your father is wise if he can see the folly in war. It took many battles for me to find that truth. Tell me, how would you pay for this great treasure?" Which was the tough part. His dad wasn't a wealthy man. Wildberry had ended up with most of his tangible wealth, and he'd just traded Breezy's honey for weapons to field an army. "A boon," replied Billy. "In exchange for a greater favor later." Oreva got in Billy's face, shouting, "you think you can con my wife out of our treasure for some favor, boy! You've got some nerve!" Abeiuwa snapped her fingers, growling, "that will be enough, Oreva. You are my husband, not my owner. This is my decision to make." Billy could see Wildberry's face contorted in concentration, and, just as he noticed, Oreva shoved him. That was ominous. What was that little bitch doing? And how was she doing it?

Billy stepped back from the violently angry giant, even as the man took a swing. Standing there, bracing for the impact, Billy wondered if his dad had ever gone through this. The punch sent him reeling backwards and very nearly took him off his feet. " _Oreva,_ " shouted Abeiuwa! "Get out of my sight!" That arrested the man in mid-swing, as he would have hit Billy again. Shaking off the fog he was under, Oreva glanced back at his wife, then at Billy, and the younger man could see that there was something strange going on there. "I... am sorry," Oreva mumbled. Billy reached out and shook his hand, saying, "trying times, brother. I would protect my wife as strongly. Let us talk as friends." Stepping forward, Abeiuwa examined Billy's slowly swelling jaw. "Take him to the healers," she said. Oreva declared, "I will do it myself, my lady."

As Wildberry fumed over that development, Billy's dad was about to deal her army a far worse defeat. The badlands of Warrior Kingdom were covered in a familiar mist as Ingrid made her way through the camp. A shiver went down her spine as she remembered the day her boyfriend had rammed a knife into her heart. She'd been rather unlucky at love with Clarence, and some days it felt as if not much had changed. She'd slept alone last night. Again. Even with the nasty murderess absent, Finn had not been all that interested in her company. Maybe it was the responsibility, or maybe it was something else, but he had a hundred reasons for not spending his nights on _her_. Striding up to the place where the horses were corralled, she found the man himself staring off into the distance, looking as if he was on an excursion. No weapons to speak of and just a small scrap of armor wrapped about his left shoulder.

Slipping up behind him, she lay her head on his right shoulder and slipped her arms around his middle. "Is that all you're taking to war," she asked, as she stroked his hard, flat stomach. She could _feel_ the scars. He was a powerful, virile man, far different than sneaking Clarence. How had she ever fallen for Clarence? A voice inside her replied, _he hated his mother too. You bonded over your hatred for mothers, Ingrid, but he never_ murdered _his mom._ A stark thrill of fear went through her. Finn, who felt her shiver, turned around to face her. Brushing back her long, blonde hair, he said, "you ok? You were shivering a little. You're not sick?" It was a shocking degree of concern from a man who seemed impervious to her charms.

Taking his face in her hands, she said, "you do that to me..." Blushing in remembrance of Sarah saying that same thing, Finn goggled at her. Ingrid took advantage of the moment. "You make me tingly," she said as she leaned in against him. In short order, she had both arms around his neck, and he had a two-fisted grip on her butt as the pair locked lips. Breaking that kiss, she said, "it's too bad I'm all armored up, but maybe we can do something about that later..." "Yeah," Finn babbled, "later..."

He was still a little out there when they rode out onto the field a few minutes later. Honestly she'd actually seemed like a _person_ just then instead of a nasty, manipulative bitch. Sitting on a horse at his side, her face flush with the excitement of the moment, she actually looked almost-fuckable. Almost. Part of him still had the willies. Indeed, Maja's revelation about the Ancient Psychic Tandem War Elephant had made him _more_ wary of his actions, not less. He examined every thing he said or did now. It was becoming a drag on _life_. It would have been wonderful to return to that earlier, happier time when he could afford to be stupid.

"Here they come," announced Ingrid. Indeed a mixed force of Berry People and Slime Guys were coming up the road. Finn cocked one ear, listening for the telltale sound of those _tanks_. Just as their mysterious spy said, there were none. Finn thought the enemy feared losing them. More to the point, sneaking men on foot through Engagement Ring Kingdom was hard enough. Those machines could be heard for miles. It appeared their mystery informant was earning whatever Cherry paid him. Still the moment was bittersweet for the hero. He'd fought alongside the berry-dudes and saved the slime-people on occasions too numerous to mention. Thus it was with a very heavy heart that he gave the orders to attack.

Ingrid's troops swept down from the heights and hit the enemy broadside. The bad berries were in marching order and the surprise attack saw many fumbling with unfamiliar weapons. Finn had ordered Ingrid's lancers to fire on anybody with a gun in hand, and now the troops with Abeiuwa's spear-guns laid out several hundred in one volley. As those men went down, the Warrior Princess swept down on the remaining enemy in righteous fury, with her soldiers at her side.

Slamming into the enemy column, they forced many off the trail and shattered what was left of their formation. Finn hung back, watching and waiting while Ingrid and the boys chopped through the berries and went clean out the other side. Regrouping, they turned and hit the enemy again. A dart gunner finally raised his weapon to fire into a distracted Warrior Princess's face at point blank range. As the gun went bang, a glowing barrier blocked his shot. Then one of the Lancers got him. Startled, Ingrid glanced at Finn, who merely smiled. The warrior-woman turned back to her fun, having another run at the berries and slime-dudes, and then another.

There was some good news. There didn't appear to be tons of humanoid berries in the pack. Most everybody seemed to be just as Finn remembered. He'd been utterly terrified that all the berry-folk had been transformed the same way Blargetha and Wildberry had. That singular thought had been keeping him up nights. If Maja still had the War-Elephant, she could fly infiltrators into any corner of the Candy Kingdom she wanted and even beyond. Finn puzzled at that, as slowly his would-be wife whittled down the numbers of enemies to nothing. A part of him was pleased with her. She was making the right moves now.

As she finished up–and the remaining berries and slime-dudes fled–the big man began to think hard about that. He'd been expecting treachery this whole time, and Ingrid had been anything but. She'd been pushy. She'd been about as aggressive as Breakfast had once been. At the same time, she'd done all she could in support of him and the family. Would it be a terrible thing to give her what she wanted? The girls had said he could.

Ingrid rode up to him looking like a glorious mess. She was covered in berry-guts, and there was even gobbets of nasty green slime on her. At the same time, she wore a pouty look, as she said, "you didn't do anything..." With a shrug, he said, "you were having fun, and things were getting done. Figured I'd just keep backstabbers at bay..." Her face went red as she remembered the man with the gun and the strange forcefield that had deflected the dart meant for her pretty face. Throwing her arms around his neck, she kissed him insistently. Finn didn't hesitate a moment to respond, stroking her long, blonde hair gently. He did have to wipe a little muck off his face when they were done. "Well, you can wash with me," she said. "There's a hot spring nearby. When I've cleaned up the mess here, we can go there and relax." "Sure," Finn replied.

Meanwhile, the remnant of Wildberry's army went racing back down the road from whence they'd come. They had left thousands of coins worth of weapons on the ground and thousands of their comrades, and there was a real fear that they would all be executed when they got home. Their mistress was not known for generosity towards failures. Her ongoing _deal_ with Maja the Sky Witch had made the princess an even more prickly character. Every failure her army brought was a failure that the Wildberry Princess had to take before her _partner_ , and it was clear to everyone who wasn't an arrogant fool that with each failure brought, Maja was getting closer and closer to going it alone. After all why should she share power with a fool who'd sabotaged the effort?

The sole remaining officer pondered those thoughts–and a new career as a bandit or other fugitive–as he and his men loped along. Those thoughts became a tangled jumble that his mind stumbled through over and over again as afternoon gave way to evening and evening to night. Rest periods came infrequently and never lasted long. Nobody wanted to stop, and nobody was really interested in lallygagging. They were trespassing in the vampires' kingdom, and nobody wanted to still be out here in the darkness. News of what the vampires might have done to the Muscle Guard in the Bee-Kingdom had them all on edge. The objective–survival–meant that they'd all better be across the border in the conquered kingdoms as soon as they could get there.

They were mere miles from the border when the lone officer–a mere lieutenant–spotted the figure standing there in the middle of the road. She was pretty–in a humanoid fashion. Having banged a couple of nymphs in his misspent youth, the officer had a sense of such things. Tall and slinky, with perfect curves and a pretty face, she was the very epitome of beauty for the Engagement Ring Kingdom. She stood there athwart the road as the soldiers grew closer and closer. A stark thrill of fear trickled down the soldier's back as he pondered the significance of that. As they came within speaking distance, he finally ordered his men to halt.

A soft voice came to them on the wind, whispering in low, menacing tones, declaring, "you didn't receive sanction for crossing the border." As the officer thought of something to say to that, the voice purred, "and you come bearing weapons. This nation is neutral. Warfare isn't permitted here." The officer's mind totaled up the odds. He had two-thousand men left. There were two-thousand of them here. Could she really be planning to fight all of his men? His eyes scanned the scene, looking for signs that she'd brought an undead army with her like the zombies that had smashed the Muscle Guard. They were in the middle of nowhere. There shouldn't be mass-graves around them.

Momentarily, that pretty face was right before his eyes, and he blinked in startlement. She was still standing over two-hundred feet away! "Do you have a tongue," asked Constance Abadeer? "Nevermind, I'll find it myself..." And she tore his jaw off his face. As the hot blood spurted from his shattered face, the angry princess tore out his heart on the spot. That precipitated a response at last from the rest. Some opened fire. Some tore out of there as if they would never stop running. Men scattered in all directions. Constance Abadeer merely stepped forward, slaughtered the next man, and raised both dead men as zombies which promptly turned on their fellows. That broke the tenuous courage of the rest. In short order, every living soul was in full flight, tearing out of there as if their lives depended on that–which they very much did.

As the Empress meticulously slaughtered the remnant of Wildberry's army, Finn the King slipped into the hot mineral waters of the spring Ingrid had shown him. Sitting down on a stone-bench carved out of the granite around the spring, the big man felt the heat seep into his body and felt surprisingly good. It had been an age since he'd been able to relax with a nice hot bath like this. The Rebellion and the Lich War and the current crisis had taken away all the small joys of his life. It was a marvel to find himself at peace, even for a moment. Of course there was still one little problem...

"Ready for me, darling," Ingrid asked, as she came into view? Finn flushed to his hair. She was wearing nothing but a towel, and she came carrying a bottle of wine from Engagement Ring Kingdom. Smiling down at him, she dropped the towel on the ground, and it was instant boner time as he caught sight of that beautiful body. Ingrid licked her lips at the sight of that. Her sweet boy was hung like a horse. Setting the basket down, she slipped down into the water with him and sat down beside him. "Mmm," she teased, "that looks nice..." Finn's face went redder if anything, which was silly when he was already banging eleven girls.

Reaching to her right, she took two glasses out of the basket and handed him one. Then she went for the wine, showing off that hard body with every move she made. She was put together like E in a lot of ways. At least the early days before marriage and a baby. She had a washboard stomach, firm, perky boobies, very slim waist, and hard, toned arms and legs. With that long, blond hair, she was like a warrior goddess, and he would have been chasing her like a fiend if he'd met her before her death. That was the one thing that threatened to shrink his little buddy back down. He was still a little paranoid about all of this. Still, when Ingrid filled his glass, he had a drink and told his paranoia to chill. The blonde woman had been doing everything she could to prove herself, and it was time to give her a chance.

Smiling archly, she twined her arm with his and took a sip from her glass. Smiling back, Finn took a sip from his. Then, Ingrid leaned in and kissed his lips. Finn let himself go, savoring the contact. Honestly, it was hard not to be tempted when he was having so much trouble spending any kind of time with the girls. His body had been grateful for the break. They _had_ admittedly been running him ragged. At the same time, he didn't want to be cut back to _nothing_. Betty had a term for it. Feast or famine. He'd been bouncing back and forth between the two for the last few years.

Breaking that kiss, Ingrid had another sip of wine, and Finn did the same. As they drank, she snuggled in against him, pressing that amazing body against his and making sure his little buddy was quite happy. Finn found himself stroking that hot bod, touching those pointy, perky boobies, and caressing her hard, flat stomach. Skinny as she was, a part of him wondered what she would look like preggers. It was crazy when he had a whole pack of kids, but he still wondered. Leaning down, he teased her hard little nips with his tongue, going from one to the other, stroking her hard little knobs at the same time as he listened to her soft sighs and moans.

Between the warm water, the warm evening air, and the wine in her belly, the tall princess was starting to lose herself in the feelings coursing through her body. Finally! It was finally going to happen. When she felt him touch her hot gash, she really began to lose it. Her teeth clamped down on his shoulder, as Finn began to rub her joy-button, his finger teasing at her opening from time to time. Face pressed into the crook of his neck, Ingrid whimpered and whined as she got closer and closer.

"Finn," shouted Betty Mertens! "Finn! You up here?!" Ingrid howled her frustration as Betty and Breezy walked into the glade. The Queen Bee's face turned bright red as she took in the sight of her 'bro' sitting there in the pool with another woman. She was absolutely shocked at the sight of that giant pecker, and she almost couldn't tear her eyes away. At least she couldn't until Betty spoke, "uh... yeah... Hey, sorry. I just thought you'd like to know that Cherry got another call. Our mysterious mole in Maja's organization told her where Breakfast and Toast are imprisoned." Sex forgotten, Finn grabbed for his clothes. Breezy spun about, facing away as the man of her dreams climbed out of the pond.

Ingrid almost screamed at Betty, who was turning all sorts of interesting colors. Indeed the older woman was bouncing back and forth between embarrassment, desire, and ernest curiosity. They had said he could bone Ingrid. What had he learned? And was she any good? Muttering curses, Ingrid too began climbing out of the pool. Betty thought of Sarah and wondered what she would have made of Ingrid's body. The android-girl was programmed for sex, and she had an endless curiosity about every female and male she encountered. She'd confessed to wanting to watch Betty, Simone, and Finn all getting it on at once. _She'd probably do Ingrid in a heartbeat,_ thought Betty. For that matter, Betty was a little tempted herself.

Finn shrugged on his clothing and started back down the trail towards camp, saying, "c'mon. We need to plan the rescue." Shaking her head, Ingrid wrapped the towel around her middle and followed. Breezy was staring after Finn. Slapping her on the shoulder, Betty teased her, "did you like the scenery?" Leaving the red-faced Queen Bee behind, Betty followed Ingrid's muttered curses back down the trail.

Meanwhile, Billy the human was enjoying a surprisingly quiet dinner with his hosts. Ice broken, he told them some of what was happening in the land of Ooo. Abeiuwa was aware of some of it, but there was a lot transpiring that they missed. Visitors from the north were rare because of the distance and the hazards of the jungle. With Wildberry absent and Oreva actually _mellow_ , Billy was enjoying himself. He almost wished Ragnhild could be here. Seeing Abeiuwa and Oreva acting affectionate towards each other made him homesick.

Excusing himself, Billy got up, went out on their terrace, and spent a few moments staring out into the wilds as he thought of his lady. He wasn't alone for long. As he stood staring up at the night sky, Oreva announced, "let me fill that for you..." Without a further word he filled Billy's cup with the potent drink of Jungle Kingdom. "Missing your woman, eh," asked the older man? Billy's jaw hung, and his face went red. Nodding the older man said, "I know the look. Listen, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for being a jerk earlier..." Billy waved that off, saying, "you already apologized, dude. It's cool. I know how you feel." Nodding, Oreva took a sip from his cup. "I don't like what's going on out there," he said, gesturing towards the horizon. "Do you think your old man can really fix things?" Billy sighed and said, "he's trying, Oreva. He's doing everything he can, but there's people making gain off this thing. Princess Bathilde for one."

The older man nodded soberly. "Gold dirties men's souls, Billy the Hero," he rumbled. "Even Abeiuwa's not immune." Billy had been edging around that since he'd gotten here. "I don't like how she's been these last few months," said Oreva. "... _reaching_. Grasping. We are wealthy, Billy. My wife is very wealthy, but she always wants more. It's like... there's a sickness. And it's spreading." "I wanted to be able to sit things out with Ragnhild and our boys," Billy admitted, "but I have loyalty to my dad." "Blood loyalty's the heaviest thing in the world," said the Princess's husband, and it was clear that he felt it keenly. Taking a deep breath, he said, "I'm going to try to convince my wife to give you the precious nuclear fuel, Billy. I hope that you will use it to end this war. For everyone's sake. It troubles me that such a precious thing is used for violence, when it should be used to better men's lives." Billy put out his hand, and the older man shook it. "On my grand-dad's grave," Billy solemnly swore.

As the pair shook hands, a face in the shadows turned away and went stalking off into the darkness. Wildberry took the twists and turns of the palace in a state of panic. She was failing! This whole thing was failing! She'd had the pair eating out of her hand before that damned kid showed up. Somehow he was turning all her work upside down. _I have to tell Maja,_ she thought. They still could intercept that little shit before he left here. Maybe they could shoot down the airship before it reached home.

Maja sounded like she was half-asleep when she finally answered the berry-woman's call. "Yeah," she asked? "They're givin' that fucking kid the fuel," groused Wildberry. Yawning, Maja said, "didn't you use your spores?" "I've been dosing them since I got here," Wildberry retorted! "It's hard when there's two of them. They don't react the same." She'd been focusing on Oreva because he was more easy to manipulate. "Then you'll just have to take things up a notch, sweetums," said Maja with a yawn. "How," demanded the berry-bitch?! "He's got them eating out of his hand!" Cool as a glacier, Maja said, "you'll have to figure that out, sweetums." Her voice dripped ice as she said, "I need that barrier to come down, and it won't if they get that fucking fuel. It's key to my plan to take the Candy Kingdom. No fuel, no future. You understand, sweetums? He can't board that fucking airplane with the fuel." Wildberry knew that tone, and it sent a chill down her spine. "He won't," she agreed. Maja hung up in her face, leaving her alone in the dark of Abeiuwa's garden wondering how she'd keep her end of the bargain now.


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29:

Four dances in the last hour and still Finn didn't want to leave. They'd danced four times, and it was clear he was having fun. He was enjoying Ingrid's company, and somehow he still didn't want to leave. She was close to shouting at him. Every time it looked like he might finally leave the hall with _her_ , one of _them_ would break in and dance with him instead. Once, it had even been that fucking witch, Maja. She wanted to scream at him. He only ever wanted to cuddle. He never took things to their conclusion. Why didn't he take things all the way? Was she just not pretty enough?

"Or maybe you're not trying very hard," whispered the voice. Ingrid spun around. All the faces in the hall had stopped right where they were. They all seemed frozen. And yet she could still hear their voices. She could hear them speaking as though through treacle. What was wrong? "What's wrong," asked the voice? " _You're_ wrong, Ingrid. You're a pathetic piece of filth. That's why he doesn't love you. He _senses_ it. He senses what you are. You're a murderer." "That bitch, Cherry, is a murderer," Ingrid shot back! "She's... She's got her hands up to her elbows in blood! She's a bloody-handed _fiend_!" "So what's your problem, then, Ingrid," whispered the voice? "You're supposed to make Finn yours. That's all you have to do, and you're failing at it." The pain in her side came back, fierce as it had ever been. She could feel her heart, like daggers of fury were erupting in her chest. The tall woman staggered and went down.

As she lay there, clutching at her wound, Finn came to stand over her. "What's up, GP," he asked? "Tired of dancing? I guess I'll go dance with Maja some more..." "Wait," howled the princess. "Please, wait! I'm... I need you... Glob, please don't leave me..." The tall princess shot up out of bed feeling all of a fool. Betty had offered to let her have Finn's time last night. After all, in her mind, it was the least she could do to make up for spoiling the moment. Ingrid had been livid and had told her to go get stuffed. Which she'd likely proceeded to do. In Finn's bed. All night. Scrubbing the heel of her hand against her forehead, the princess sighed, feeling all of a fool.

Kurja was waiting on her when she walked into her headquarters. Of Finn there was no sign. The tall woman moved immediately to the teapot and poured herself a stiff belt of the harsh brew the Warrior Kingdom favored, and for a long, long while she said nothing. She said nothing at all to the fact that the ghoul was here against her express orders. It was almost like he was _testing_ her. Was he? "Is milady well," asked Kurja? "Fine, Kurja," she lied. "I'm fine." Turning that imperious look on him, she growled, "why are you not with your troops?" Bowing to her, he said, "important news, milady. We have turned back a substantial invasion force." That _was_ news.

The warrior-woman strode towards him, and he swiftly drew her attention to the map. "Here, milady," he said. "It appeared to be a second movement, meant to penetrate the badlands. I imagined they were making for the capitol. They turned and ran before being heavily engaged by us." "Because we smashed the other half of the pincers," muttered Ingrid. "If we'd moved to meet them, they would have had us trapped. "We would have had eight-thousand at our back and possibly between us and home." The mole had done them a great service.

Finn came in just then. Moving to her side, the big man slipped an arm around her shoulder and kissed her cheek. No more than that, leaving her wondering just where they were. He never hesitated to kiss Betty or Cherry or any of the others as a man was supposed to kiss his woman. She wanted to cuss him. Instead, she drew his attention to the news that Kurja had brought. The news was a little worrying. Wildberry was putting a lot more of her resources into this now. It could mean they'd shot their bolt, or it could mean that they were getting ready for an all-out push. He still didn't know which, and they were in a bad place with the Tesla Barrier faltering. More worrying, they were becoming very dependent on this mysterious mole in Maja's faction.

"They may have another plan like this," said Finn. "We need to figure out what they're going to do next before we make a move of our own." It would be just like their enemies to trick them with this news about Breakfast and Toast to lure them away while an army smashed its way through Ingrid's lands. Ingrid frowned at that. Those two had betrayed him. They'd abandoned him at the hour of his greatest need and decided to go it alone. Was he really going to risk himself to save them? As if in confirmation of that, Finn asked, "can you get some of your dudes across the border? Maybe look at some of the border forts? I want to know before tonight." The blonde woman barely stopped herself from gritting her teeth and said, "of course. I'll get them on the road right now." "Thanks, babe," he said, as he turned to go. "Where're you going," she asked? "Got calls to make," he said. "Stuff keeps going even when I'm not there." Which, as a princess, she well knew.

"Something wrong, milady," asked the ghoul? "Nothing," she grated. She was starting to see the same things she'd heard Betty talking about, and she didn't like them. _New_ Finn was irritatingly _responsible_. Far from haring off on some wild goose chase, he was an involved ruler, and that made chances to seduce him thin on the ground. How was she going to do this? How could she get him to go all the way without _throwing_ her self at him? Shaking off those thoughts, she said, "get back to your troops. They may try to use this pause against us." "I'll leave this evening," he replied. Frowning, she said, "don't you have one of those phones?" With a shrug, he said, "you don't pay me. I got cut off when I couldn't pay the bill..." Ingrid muttered curses. Striding to the door, she commanded the guard there to give her his phone. Striding back to the undead, she said, "here. Use this for now. I'll have one sent later." The ghoul bowed to her.

Hundreds of miles to the south, Billy stood watching in delight as Abeiuwa opened the great treasure vault at the edge of her kingdom. At her side stood the Blue Minister in his strange, ritual garb. The tall, thin fellow came in a rather odd garment consisting of a mask that had no face and only a slit for eyes and a long, heavy apron instead of the usual hide or grass skirt. Underneath that, he wore a hooded ensemble that covered his head and went down the length of his body. It even sported canvas and hide booties that covered his feet instead of the sandals most everyone else in the kingdom wore.

The vault itself, like the factory, was vast. They were at the northeast corner of a facility that stretched a mile on each side. The weathered and patched cement suggested that this place predated the Mushroom War. The place had been meticulously painted in the pictographic language of the Jungle People, and the walls were slathered in prayers to Glob. Billy imagined Bonnie or Nadia _scoffing_ at the strange rituals as being unsciency.

As Billy watched, the strange fellow began to pray and dance. Capering about, touching the charms he was slathered with against the walls of the massive building, the strange fellow seemed almost to be steeling himself to go inside. As he chanted, Billy heard one phrase repeated over and over again like a litany, "Access Seven, Seven, Tango, Zulu, Alpha." Remembering Fionna's story about the battles on the Ice-Island, Billy suddenly realized that was a code. Likely for accessing the storage chamber. Finally, as the Blue Minister's dancing and chanting reached a crescendo, a massive slab in the building's façade slid down, revealing a swatch of the interior. The gaping maw of the building revealed a terrifying blue glow. As Billy watched in fear, a robotic contraption handed the Blue Minister a heavy lead container.

The Minister wasted little time now. "Access Seven, Seven, Tango, Mike, Romeo," he cried! "I command you! Seal the chamber!" The strange robotic machine that seemed to look after the inside of the bunker rolled backwards into that blue glow and the massive door slid shut once more. Billy breathed a sigh of relief as the Blue Minister turned and handed the lead tub off to Oreva's dudes to carry away. The princess immediately went to the Minister, and, after giving him the slightest of bows–more respect than she showed almost anyone else here–the two began to chat.

With the heavy lead container headed for the airfield, the danger was past, and the tension at the vault evaporated. The gathered Jungle People relaxed, and a carnival atmosphere prevailed. Billy found himself caught up in the business as people began to dance and sing. Turning to Oreva, who was tapping his foot in time with the music, the big man asked, "is it always like this?" "Going into the vault isn't for the faint of heart, Billy," replied the Consort. "Knowledge of the machines that refine the yellow dust is handed down from woman to woman on the female side of our nation, while the secrets of the vault were the province of men. Unfortunately, we lost many men in the wars three generations ago, and much of the secret knowledge went with them."

Billy frowned a moment, thinking about that. He knew what various of his stepmothers would have said. Write it down. Why didn't they just write it down? At the same time, he appreciated the unique position the Jungle People were in. This was their people's deadly legacy–like the toxic sludge under the Candy Capitol or the dead lands in Nadia's kingdom. It seemed somehow fitting that the knowledge be held as a closely guarded secret. In the wrong hands, it could wreak havoc across the world.

As Billy pondered that, Oreva got up and went to a wagon that had just drawn up before the vault door. It appeared that a celebration was about to break out, and Billy rather got the impression that this was almost like a holiday for Abieuwa's people. After a brief conversation, the Consort came back with three drinks and a handful of breadfruit. "Thanks, dude," said Billy, as he accepted his drink. Grinning back, Oreva replied, "you can thank me by ending this war before more are hurt."

Abeiuwa finished her conversation with the Blue Minister and came back to them. Her husband bowed to her and pressed a drink into her hand. Settling in at her hubby's side, Jungle Princess sipped at her drink and listened to the raucous celebration, swaying slightly in time with the music. "Do you guys have coats," asked Billy? He wanted them to visit he and Ragnhild. Abieuwa's nose wrinkled. "It is cold in her place," said the princess. "You can come here and stay on the beach. It isn't far." Billy chuckled. That was going to take some doing. Ragnhild wasn't a fan of the heat either. _Maybe winter,_ he thought. His mom had said that married couples needed friends. He wanted to be friends with the older couple.

As he was pondering that, Oreva took his wife and led her out into the gathering to dance. Billy found himself cheering them on as they spun and capered like pretty much every soul there on the site. Munching the last of the breadfruit, Billy sipped on his drink and howled laughter just like everyone else. He was happy to be going home and happy to have helped his dad in securing the peace. As he was considering that, Oreva suddenly stopped dancing. Reaching into the pouch at his waist, he came up with a bone and ivory phone. "Go," he said, as he put it to his ear. Abeiuwa stood patiently waiting–still swaying to the music–as her husband transacted a little business of his own. Billy could see the older man nodding and frowning, suggesting that it was important.

Frowning, Oreva hung up and came strolling across to Billy. "Not bad news, I hope," said Billy. "Don't know," Oreva replied. "Might be critters from the jungle. Do me a favor..." Straightening, Billy said, "dude! Just name it!" Nodding at his wife, Oreva said, "she doesn't get to have fun very often. Dance with her, while I'm gone." Billy's face went white, but the Consort said, "it's alright. It would mean much to me." "Sure, man," said Billy. "Can't promise not to step on her feet, though." Smiling as he strode off, Oreva replied, "you'll do fine..." Billy watched him go. Creatures out of the wastelands were trouble nearly everywhere in Ooo, so he understood the need to go and address the problem. Gathering his wits, Billy put down the drink and headed out to where Abeiuwa was still swaying with the music.

The princess regarded him with that same hard, almost _haughty_ expression. "Mind if I join you for a dance," he asked? Surprised, she blushed a little. Then, "certainly." He had been watching the couples here as they danced and enjoyed themselves, and he thought he had some idea what to do. At least he tried his best. It wasn't like the dancing that he was used to, which was very rigidly constrained and came with all kinds of Rules–how you moved your feet, where you stepped when, and how you touched your partner. This dancing was very _free_ –almost like the clownish dancing his dad had done when he was a youngster. Awkward as anything and almost _stilted_ , Billy found himself growing a little embarrassed. In the end, he just came flat out and asked, "am I even doing this right?"

That got the princess laughing. She _howled_ laughter. In moments, everyone was laughing at him. Billy felt his face go red hot, and he felt like a complete buffoon. It was funny, but his moms had insisted that, unlike his dad, he was actually going to learn to dance. The right way. They'd lavished money on the project, even when the young Billy absolutely didn't want to be bothered. He would have been happy with the awful 'dancing' his dad did. He'd learned. He'd learned because his parents insisted. In point of fact, they'd made his dad go back and learn as an example to him. Later in life, Billy had been happy to find that it came in handy. Ragnhild had been delighted to find a partner that could dance. Now he felt like he would have been better served being a fool like his dad.

Wiping tears from her eyes from all the laughing, Abeiuwa smiled at him. "That is the hardest I've laughed in a King's age," she said. In spite of his embarrassment, Billy chuckled. "Come," she said, "let us sit and eat." She brought him to a chunk of stone that jutted from the ground, and the couple who'd been sitting there made haste to clear it. Indeed, the man who'd been selling drinks rushed over with fresh drinks for them and a little food. Sitting there with a beautiful woman–she was _still_ pretty, in spite of the age difference–Billy began to relax. This wasn't too bad after all.

"My husband thinks that your father will save the world," she said. With a grunt, Billy replied, "he will try. Nothing's certain anymore." Taking his hand and giving it a squeeze, the Jungle Princess said, "but he has a strong man at his side." The big man flushed, as he thought of Cherry's words. His dad needed him. They all needed him. He'd been a little selfish. He didn't like to think of things that way, but now he realized it was true. Whether it was his grief or his good fortune with Ragnhild, Billy had lost the meaning of heroism. "Thanks," he said. "I haven't always been my best, but I'm trying."

Abeiuwa said, "so modest! You must be quite the man to have my colleague so smitten." Billy's mouth came open. Smiling more than faintly, she said, "do you like them older like that?" That was carrying things a little farther than he liked. "Must get it from your father," said Jungle Princess. "He chased Bonnibel for ages." Taken aback, Billy nonetheless nodded because he'd zeroed in on JJ like a laser. The younger man said, "Ragnhild and I... we just found that we clicked somehow. That's all. I guess when the world is going to hell in a handbasket, a lot of stuff kind of stops mattering." Abeiuwa nodded. She could see that. She felt a little sad that she'd let so many years go by without having a child of her own. There had always been something else that was more important. Now, with so much danger in the world, she wished she'd taken the chance. "You're still healthy, Your Highness," said Billy. "Don't give up! Oreva'd make a great dad."

The princess stared at him again for a moment. Grinning as if he knew what she was thinking, Billy said, "he's a good dude. I... I'm not sore about that stuff. Really. Everybody makes mistakes sometimes. The world's kinda' crazy right now." Glancing away, Abeiuwa said, "thank-you, Billy the Hero. That would mean a lot for him to hear you say those things. It means a great deal to me." Just then, shouts announced someone was coming. Billy glanced up to see Oreva coming onto the scene. Only this time he was armed to the teeth, and he had a hundred dudes with him.

Shooting to his feet, Billy glanced around him, even craning his neck as he wondered if the monstrous animals of the jungle had invaded the town. Striding straight up to him in a fury, Oreva got almost in his face. "Uh, hey, man," said Billy. "We were just talking." Nervous as anything, Billy stared around him at the guards who all looked a little off. _What's going on,_ he thought? Oreva stood there a moment, and his eyes seemed to glaze a little. "You ok, buddy," asked Billy? Shaking off his stupor, the Consort took the heavy club he was carrying and hit Billy hard enough that he lost his footing. Vision narrowing, Billy found himself staring up at Abeiuwa's husband, who looked as though he couldn't even understand why he'd done what he'd just done. Not that it helped Billy. Abeiuwa's shouts of rage and then screams of terror followed Billy down into unconsciousness.

As the sun headed towards the horizon in Warrior Kingdom, Finn headed out of the headquarters after a day of figurative running around. He'd spent a lot of the day on the phone trying in vain to convince some of the other kingdoms to come out of their neutrality. His arguments about shutting down the ugly conflict Wildberry had started had fallen on deaf ears. When he wasn't about that, he was trying to coordinate things with Purple, Laurel, and Lizard Princesses. Noemi had the resources to put into the problem of closing down Bathilde's border with the wastelands, but she was much too far. Hamest was close enough to intervene, but she didn't have troops in hand to do it. The endless incursions had bled her army, and the elders of her kingdom weren't interested in an adventure. That left Alexia as possibly being the only one able to respond. After considering it and coming to the realization that Alex's army was too small and under-supplied, the big man was forced to give up for the moment. The easy route was shutdown, though. His son had seen to that.

Breezy was waiting on him down at the edge of camp with the hand-picked troops that were going to take him across the border into Wildberry Kingdom to the forgotten castle there. Ingrid's scouts had found the bulk of Wildberry's troops and their allies were hunkered down in their camp, suffering from poor morale due to the repeated setbacks. That gave him a hope that he could get across the border, snatch Breakfast and Toast out of the trick-bag they'd put themselves in, and get back. It wasn't all about friendship. Most of it was. He'd known the sisters a lot of years, and he was afraid for them. At the same time, they held the key to maybe forcing some of the princesses off the fence. If he could show them what kind of person Wildberry was, he could maybe convince them that she couldn't be allowed to win.

Like so much of his life, he was having to compromise, and he didn't like it. The woman at his side was feeling the bitter sting of some of that compromise. He felt bad about just walking off on her like he had. At the same time, getting to shoot off was far down his list of priorities right now. Not when he had to find Marshall's girls, rescue four missing friends, shut down Wildberry's stupid war, and put Maja out of business. With a heavy sigh, the big man stopped right there in the aisle of the camp. Ingrid almost kept walking.

"I'm sorry," he said. "You're trying so hard, but I don't have the time. I just don't have time right now." The tall woman glared at him, and he knew she was angry. "King of Ooo first," she muttered. Nodding, he said, "I used to get mad at PB for this. It's... It was one of the defining pieces of our shared life. It always seemed like there was something more important going on than me. Now... Now I get to be the person hurting people I care about because the world is falling apart. So... I'm sorry in advance, Ingrid, because I don't know when this is going to get better." And without a further word, he started walking again.

Arriving down at the edge of the camp, he found Nadia waiting right alongside his 'bro'. He hadn't been expecting her, and now he grew a little concerned. Nadia's face was a little grim as he approached, telling him that the news from home was bad. He knew the kind of news that implied. "Nothing from Bill," he asked? Shaking her head, Nadia replied, "nothing." They'd heard not a peep from the young man. The fission core in the Tesla Barrier was failing, and they would have to shut it down soon. The minute they did that, Blargetha's army would be marching through Candy-Town on their way to Bonnie's capitol. It was every kind of not good. Lollipop was climbing the walls with worry, and it was even starting to affect calm, unflappable Simone. That said nothing of the dreadful secret they had been keeping regarding Sarah and Bonnie or the fact that Ragnhild was kind of a mess right now. They weren't in a good place right now, and the pressure was building again on the whole family.

But especially on Finn.

He didn't show it, but they all knew he was worried about his son. On top of that, he was worried about Ragnhild, who'd been his sweetheart for just a couple of weeks when they were young. He still cared about her, and he was worried about how this was affecting her and the baby. When you threw in this crazy mission to rescue Breakfast and Toast, the big man was on the ragged edge right now. Unfortunately, bad news didn't get better with age. "The Tesla Barrier will fall within the next 48 hours," Nadia sighed. "I can't sustain it any longer. If I could have saved any of the machinery from the Fluffy-People's island, it would have been possible to run it indefinitely, but the traitor wrecked everything there."

Finn nodded. He was still the picture of calm. She missed the hyperactive, almost-manic man who'd seemed as if he couldn't sit still for more than a few moments. She was bitterly regretting infecting him with nanomachines. She hadn't idea the first what she could have done as an alternative, but she regretted changing him like this. He didn't seem _happy_ anymore. It was like they had taken the happy-go-lucky sot that he was, drained the happy out of him, and forced him to confront the ghastly specter of the world as it really was. He could be almost _frightening_ at times.

"There's an electrical substation at the southwest-edge of Candy-Town," said he. "The substation supplies the entire electrical load of the city and much of the grasslands too. It's fed from the Fusion Reactor under Bonnie's palace. Bypass the feed to Candy-Town and run conductors to the Tesla Barrier..." Her eyes went wide. Betty's did too. "Star is to send a message to the Capos in the name of Mafia Princess," said Finn. "There is to be no organized thieving and no mass-scale gang violence during the time when the power is off. Any man or woman who instigates trouble will be turned over to the Crown of Ooo and punished to the limit of the law..." Nadia rumbled, "that will keep the barrier going at a reduced power, but it won't necessarily stop an attack." "It won't need to," Finn replied, "but if they do look like they're going to make a run on the barrier, pick two of the districts in the Candy Capitol and shut their power off. Let the barrier take the load."

Without another word, he went over to where Breezy was waiting with her people. Betty told her, "I'll be looking after him, Nadia. Get back to the capitol so we have a home to get back to. Get Star moving and see if you can get Sarah and Bonnie cooperating long enough to come up with a better answer." Nadia nodded, though she looked like she was swallowing a bitter pill. Betty almost felt like slapping her. What did she think this was going to be about? Stupid-crazy sex could only carry you so long in a relationship before shit started getting serious really freakin' quick. She'd known that going in. She was middle-aged _before_ jumping through a portal to come into the future, and she'd been through pretty much all of it with Simon. The only thing they'd been missing was the kid. "He's handling it, Nadia," she said. "We need to handle our piece of things and not fall apart." Which Nadia already knew, but knowing and doing where two different things. Nodding, she said, "I'll be in touch when we have the power switch-over complete."

The cyborg headed off to her airplane, while Betty headed over to the rescue-force. Finn was drawing on the ground, laying out what they were going to be doing. "We're going to drop into the castle here," he explained. "Breakfast and Toast are both locked up down here in the basement of the main tower. It's going to be heavily guarded from outside, but pretty much empty inside. Roof's a little rickety and rotten, so be careful. We'll be heading down, so there's less risk of surprises catching us from two directions at once, but it's still going to be dangerous. Anybody who wants to back out, now's the time..." Nobody offered to walk away. Finn turned to Breezy, who'd offered her help in making the rescue.

"Each of us can carry about three-hundred pounds max," she said. "That means you'll be leaving most of your heavy gear. Weapons only. No food. No water. Minimal armor if any. We'll have to stop periodically to rest. Keep it quiet. Don't wander. We don't know what they have for patrols around the castle, and Maja's been known to employ... _creatures_." Holding up a curious leather contraption, the Queen Bee explained, "we'll carry you with these. They're traditionally used for rescue of injured and infirm from dangerous situations, but they'll do what we need tonight. Adjust the harness so that it's _snug_ but not too tight. If it's too loose, you're going to be sliding around and throwing your partner off balance. That just makes it that much harder to carry you. Any questions?"

Holding up one of the harnesses, Finn asked, "who'm I going with?" Blushing a little, Breezy teased his chest with the tip of a finger, pointed to herself, and said, "I would trust nobody else with the King of Ooo." Finn blushed to his hair. Breezy's phone rang just then, and the Queen stepped away, saying, "I better deal with this now. Won't have time later." She left Finn with Betty and Ingrid. Betty was five hot seconds from cracking up. The pair made her laugh. In a desperate bid to deflect the embarrassment away, Finn turned to Ingrid and said, "I'll see you when we get back. Stay safe, ok?" Grudgingly, the Warrior Princess nodded.

As her husband climbed into the Bee People's harness, Cherry Mertens climbed out of a car in front of a seedy warehouse on the east end of Warrior Kingdom's capitol. It was a moment that was at once familiar to the diminutive crime boss and painfully jarring at the same time. She was working once more–getting her hands dirty–and she had Thor at her side once again. Things were raw between them just now. He was a symbol of her old life–the one she'd been trying to leave–and a key part of the new one that she'd been building the last couple of years.

He and Star were talking again–tentatively–so there was that. At the same time, she now saw strains of deadly ambition that hadn't been there before. He wasn't the guileless simpleton she'd always considered him to be. Far from it. Thor hid a surprising intellect, and he had the wisdom to see and understand the things he lacked. His relationship with Star had awakened in him a hunger to have some of those things. And that was what was bothering Cherry the most right now, because she feared he was an echo of the underworld itself. How would she live her life if she was constantly looking for the knife? How would that work with a husband and kids? She didn't know how to make happily-ever-after work, but she knew some very precious lives were on the line until she figured it out.

Thor held the umbrella over her head as they walked across a nasty, filth-crusted courtyard in the rain towards a small party of Ingrid's citizens who stood in the doorway of the warehouse. Step by slow, measured step, the Mafia Princess took that dangerous walk. Nominally she was immune to violence. It was worth your life to try sanctioning the Princess of the Underworld. There were literally _hundreds_ of people in Cherry's organization primed to strike a blow against someone for harming her. That didn't even talk to the rather ugly fate that Finn would mete out. Ordinarily was a word that was having less and less power lately though. Penny had set some awful things in motion, and they were still dealing with the fallout from that too.

Stopping before the steps of the warehouse, Cherry greeted the woman there with, "you must be Marjorie." The taller woman smiled a sinister smile and replied, "and you'd be the Lady of Shadow." "I would," replied the crime-boss. You couldn't have told how tense Thor was as he listened to the pair exchange pleasantries. He didn't like this. This wasn't the old days when the boss's power was absolute and nobody dared to challenge her. He hadn't forgotten the way her nemesis had taken out a bunch of their soldiers under the Ice-Rink. If this bitch tried to do them dirty, he wouldn't be able to stop her all on his own. Still, reckoning that they had been in far more danger, the big man said nothing at all. Finally, the two had taken each other's measure, and their host was leading them inside.

"I confess that I'm at something of a loss," said the taller woman, as she sauntered down the hall, butt rhythmically swaying. "It's not often I'm asked to look for legendary creatures." "They're very real," Cherry replied, "and we know they were last seen in this town. I just need a lead on where they might have gone from here. You came highly recommended as having a lot of connections in this area." "I do," agreed Marjorie, "but that's going to require large infusions of cash." Cherry's eyebrows climbed, suggesting the younger woman was being... deliberately obtuse. "Grease costs money," Marjorie reminded her. "We'll need to pay some of them." "We can meet the price," Cherry replied. "Let's talk."

The warehouse looked little better inside than out. Spots and stains on the floor suggested that the place was used for cock-fighting. While considered an ugly business, it satisfied the need for both meat and blood-sport in the Warrior Kingdom, keeping bored men from fighting each other. Rumors and rumblings around the kingdom suggested that some of the cocks were born without feathers and came with names like Joe or Mike. Thor knew some of those rumors were true because there had once been a cock named Thor fighting for money in a forgotten warehouse like this.

More to the point, ugly things happened in places like this, and he would do well to remember that. They were getting further and further from escape and help, and his boss seemed to be oblivious to that fact. He wasn't sure if it was that she was too used to Finn and his amazing powers or if she'd become just too arrogant, but Cherry was walking them straight into danger, writing checks that his muscles couldn't cash. The big man kept his head on a swivel, scanning this way and that in ceaseless motion. He was subtle about it, never making violent moves of his head. He might have been taking in the scenery–even remembering past fights he'd attended or even been part of.

Marjorie brought them to the warehouse's office–a space that was as beautiful as the warehouse was ugly. The walls were hung in tapestries depicting ancient battles of the Warrior Kingdom's rulers, and the floor was done in blue-grey marble. Judging by the decorations–and the weapons scattered about–Marjorie fancied herself a warrior like her princess. Moving to the liquor bar in the corner, the gangster-girl laid out glasses and wine, saying, "let's talk." "Yes," said Cherry. "Lets." Without a further word, she sat herself at the head of the table that dominated the space. Thor sighed. Yes, she _was_ becoming an insufferably arrogant bitch.

Meanwhile, in the skies over Wildberry Kingdom, Breezy was struggling along at the tail-end of the flight that was carrying Finn's rescue-team. A part of her wanted to ask why she'd volunteered _herself_ for this, though really she _knew_ why. They were dancing around it, and a piece of her thought that they really ought to sit down and really _talk_ about... _stuff_. Because stuff was sure getting in the way right now. The flight would have been hard enough as it was. They were covering a good two-hundred miles one way, and Finn was a whole lot _heavier_ than the Queen remembered.

The fact that he was continually sliding backwards so his face was between her boobies was helping not at all. She'd left him with the job of adjusting the harness to fit, and he'd totally bungled it. After getting tied up on the phone with her cabinet, she'd left them with little time to dawdle before they got underway, so she'd just decided to work with it. Now she was paying the price. Adjusting course slightly to get her bearings from the moon, she sent Finn sliding back yet again until his face was pressed hard against her chest, and his feet were well behind hers. As she was pondering a stop to adjust the harness, the feel of something rather _thick_ against her leg brought a blush to her face. "Finn," she hissed! "You better not be getting a fucking boner!" Blushing himself, the big man swore it was his flashlight.

Irritated, Breezy cussed him. Her husband would have a fucking _fit_ if he found out! He'd never been exactly _keen_ on her relationship with Finn. Sometimes the jealousy was thick enough to cut with a knife. That irritation and anger often caused the Queen to jerk his chain out of anger of her own because in her mind it was all on the up-and-up. She'd never slept with Finn, and she'd never even suggested to him that she wanted to. Finn, ever the gentleman, had never even gotten anywhere close to a compromising position. Until now.

As the Queen Bee was considering belting the King of Ooo, the castle finally came into view. "Hang on," she muttered, as she began the long, slow spiral down to where the others were already starting to alight. Flaring before landing, she cut loose the harness, dropping him a good three feet onto the battered wooden rough. Finn rolled with the impact, coming up like he did this every day. He said nothing at all about the roughness of the landing. He was too busy adjusting the flashlight in his pants. "Ok," said he. "Uh... we should get moving." "Yeah," said Betty, who was openly smirking. "Let's do that."

One of Ingrid's dudes led the way down into the castle, with two more dudes following right behind him. Finn took the third spot, while Betty fell in right behind him. Breezy, being their escape route, took off once more, and she and her people headed for the forest outside the castle to hang out and wait. Going down the stairs, the rescuers worked their way along in the semi-darkness, finding that the ruined castle's upper floors were mostly ruins, with walls that had fallen in and floors that had holes in places.

Stepping around weak-spots in the floor and scanning each empty space they passed, the team slowly worked their way from floor to floor, clearing the space as they went. Just as Finn had said, the real problem seemed like it was going to be on the ground floor, and Betty prepared herself for another bout of ugly violence. Sadly that was what life had come to be about. In a past life, she'd decried and abhorred it, laughing at people who said that sometimes that was the only way to proceed. She'd laughed at the world they conjured up–one where civilization was a thin veneer and the world always just a few steps from chaos. Now she was a believer. They'd been right, and she was at times horrified by just how wrong _she'd_ been.

Out in the forest, Breezy paced back and forth in the darkness torn just now between worry and irritation. It was foolish not to recognize that all the old feelings were still there. Try as she might, falling back on her hastily-arranged marriage did little to curb the 'want'. If anything, the earlier incident was driving the level of want ever higher. It was easy to accept being married off against her wishes when the object of her desires wanted nothing to do with her. It was a lot harder when Finn had grown much more desirable and was now clearly attracted to her. She'd made do back when she was sixteen, taking cold showers to chill the desire. Getting married had helped a lot because, nominally, she had a hubby to scratch the itch. Now the itch had her tempted to sneak off for a little fun by herself in spite of the danger they were in.

As she was making her fifth circuit around the tree, a squeal from the darkness alerted her that all was not as it should be. That was one of her troops! The Queen rushed towards the sound, only to run headlong into a veritable _mountain_ of inky-black fur. The Why-Wolf had been altered somehow. The monstrous wolf was larger than normal. Usually, you got alerted by the susurrus of tortured voices that clung to its aura. The victims were trapped in the moment of their deaths, screaming and squealing, often asking why it was that they were dieing. In this case, she could barely hear their painful screams.

 _Maja's doing,_ thought the Queen. Dodging a swipe from the creature's massive paw, the Queen clenched her fist and stung him, jabbing the stinger in deep and injecting him with a heavy dose of poison. Unfortunately, much to her shock, the creature didn't even slow down. He took another powerful swing, smashing the tree she'd been pacing around. She could hear the sounds of mortal combat around her. There were many more of the creatures, likely put here to protect the prize. As she jabbed the lycanthrope with another fatal dose of bee-venom just as ineffectually as before, the Queen realized she was in _deep_ trouble.

Finn was just coming off the stairs when his phone rang. Sheepishly–they were supposed to be silent–the big man snatched out his phone. It was Breezy, and Betty could hear the awful sounds of violence and death even as Finn was raising the phone to his ear. "Gotta' go," he said, as he rushed forward, smashing through the rotten door to the outside. The men outside had a brief glimpse of the King of Ooo before he went tearing across the courtyard and through the sally-port door. In his wake, he left Betty, the strike-force, and the guards all staring at the smashed doors and each other.

"Sorry about that," said a sheepish Betty. "He got an emergency call." As the startled guards spun to face her, she blasted one full in the face with a lightning bolt, killing him stone dead on the spot. It was on then, with the wizard and small party of fighters throwing down on the spot with the guards in the courtyard. Meanwhile, Finn went flying into the darkness, his eyes and ears alive for the sounds of violence. In his mind, the words repeated like a litany: Please let her be ok. He'd never forgive himself if Breezy got hurt.

The first Why-Wolf appeared in the blink of an eye, and it was in the act of savaging one of the Bee-People. Finn lopped off his head with the grass-sword and then both arms just to be sure. A quick glance told him the dead Bee-Person wasn't _her_. If it was a little awful to be thinking that when someone had lost his life, the King of Ooo had little time to worry about it. He found a pair of Why-Wolves squared off against three Bee-People, who were protecting one of their number who'd been knocked down and injured. Finn killed both in two passes, crippling their legs, chopping off their heads, and then snatching their victim up to hand off to his people.

A scream from the left announced Breezy was still alive but in a state of grave danger. Rushing to her side, the big man found her cornered with her back against a massive oak with a wolf seconds away from ending her life. Rushing up, Finn drove his fist through the wolf's back and tore out his spine. As the creature crumpled, Breezy threw herself on him and sobbed on his shoulder. A corner of his mind wondered why she hadn't just flown away. The annoying voice in the back of his head that had begun to inform him when he was being obtuse, opined, _panic, dummy. You'd be a wreck too if you couldn't hurt the thing you were fighting._

Seeming to realize what she was doing, Breezy jumped back. "Uh...," she babbled. "S'ok, man," said Finn. "Just glad you're ok." Glancing away, she said, "I... don't know what came over me. I... I should have flown away." "...and left your peeps," Finn asked mildly? Her eyes went big as saucers, and she began shouting for her companions. "I'll be back," said Finn. He rushed off into the darkness and did a quick circuit around the castle, finding two more Why-Wolves, which got dispatched with prejudice. By then, it was time to get back to Betty and the others to make sure they were ok too.

Returning to the castle through the shattered gates, Finn found Betty hanging out there along with a number of guards who looked as though they'd gotten quite the worst of the encounter laying in heaps around the courtyard. "Hey, babe," she greeted him. "Breezy ok?" "Yeah," he replied. "Why-Wolves. Modified. Maja seems to have done something to toughen them up." The witch was becoming a serial problem child. Moving on, Finn asked the obvious, "d'we find Breakfast and Toast?" Just then, the other members of the raiding party came out of the tower, and Finn caught a flash of Breakfast's hair.

"We've got them, Finn," said Betty. When Finn would have rushed over to see them, Betty got in his way, saying, "they're in rough shape, babe. They've been roughed up a little... Why don't we get them back to Drew, and you can see them when they're a little better...?" Worry naked on his face, Finn said, "ok. It'll wait." Reaching into his pocket, the big man drew his phone and called up Breezy. It was going to be a little rough getting them all out of here. She had two injured and one dead from the Why-Wolf attack. They'd had barely enough to carry the raiders here and just two more besides that to carry Breakfast and Toast. "Well," said Betty, "I haven't been spending enough time with my hubby lately anyway. We can sit and talk while Breezy ferries everybody else to safety." Finn had the distinct impression that there was something she wasn't telling him, but he went along to get along.

Down in Jungle Kingdom, Billy woke to find himself in some sort of cage. Glancing around him, he found himself sitting on the edge of town, just as he'd been when Oreva knocked him out. Only this time the people who'd been celebrating were gone, and the only ones left were troops from the Jungle Guard, looking about as hostile as hostile got. Nearer to hand, in a similar cage next to him sat his host. "I feared he split your head open," sighed Abeiuwa. Billy's head was pounding right now, and he said, "what... why'd he hit me? We were just talking..." "Evening, Mr. Mertens," announced Wildberry. Billy spun to face her and found his head swam. Oreva had really done a number on him.

He found Oreva standing there, looking glassy-eyed, with Wildberry at his side. "What'd you do," growled the young hero. Mildly, she explained, "I persuaded sweet Oreva here that you aren't to be trusted..." Billy threw himself at the bars, shouting, "you fucking bitch! You let him go this instant!" "Such language," she chuckled, though inwardly she was seething. She'd been trying to turn this little shit since she'd walked onto the scene and somehow he remained frustratingly immune to her efforts. Honestly he was terrifying in what he represented. How was he able to resist her? None of the others had been able to stand against her. At least not the men.

"I've decided to play a game," she told him. Billy, who'd been trying to form an ice-bolt for several minutes, frowned at her. The pain was interfering with his ice-powers. As much as his head hurt, he was having enough trouble forming coherent thoughts. "Humanoids are supposed to be apex predators," she said, "able to hunt down and kill just about anything. I'm going to see if that's really true..." As Billy watched, she closed her eyes, and the strange scent that had accompanied her appearance subtly changed. It didn't take long. Feelings of rage began to rise in his heart.

Next to him, Abeiuwa felt the same feelings of anger and rage. A sharp thrill of stark terror filled her as she registered feelings that were not her own. Her hand clutched at the strange gift her once-and-former love-interest had sent. She clutched it with all her might, fighting the feelings that threatened to sweep her away. Inside the sliver of crystal, the strange cutting sprang to life, growing and shoving aside the crystal. Abeiuwa shrieked in panic as the crystal shattered, and she felt something bite into her hand. But then the madness was on her. It was on both of them.

Grinning at the slavering fiends she'd created from Jungle-Bitch and her enemy's rotten little kid, Wildberry told her slave, "set the timers for thirty minutes. We won't want to be around when those cages open..." And without a further word, she went sauntering off, headed for the palace. Hopefully, now that things were under control here, fucking Maja would get back down here to take her home. She was looking forward to having a nice, long dip in her meat-sauna.

 **Cherry walking into a trap. Billy in deep trouble, and the Candy Kingdom once again in danger. Sure hope nothing happens in Candy Town while the power's out.**


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30:

The ravening monster was close behind, literally freezing anything in his path, and the fallen mistress of the jungles was having serious trouble even staying focused. Her mind kept wanting to slide away to thoughts of violence. She had been considering murder almost since Wildberry made her stupid comment, and there were moments the rage was overwhelming. _Poison,_ she thought. _Was I poisoned?_ It would explain much. She needed a poultice to draw out whatever that bitch used. Sounds of cracking trees behind her alerted her to the ugly reality that her pursuer was still behind her and possibly gaining. She needed to get some space so she could work on a cure for the rage.

Back in the Candy Kingdom, Ingrid the Warrior Princess was on her way to the King of Ooo's council meeting. Fresh from the battles in the east and the rescue of two of their missing princesses, the King of Ooo was once again trying to get his arms around a problem that seemed very much greater than he was. Ingrid had been trying to _steer_ him. With Cherry Bitch and Robot-Girl both out of the picture at the moment, she had a hope of getting him to see reason. She was only up against the skinny girl and annoying Betty now. Everyone else was buried in the ernest job of trying to keep this effort afloat. _The weapon, Ingrid,_ said the voice. _He needs to use it. You know he needs to use it. It's the only way he'll win this._ Except that Finn the Human was frustratingly resistant to the idea.

She'd belabored the point early on and gotten told off for it, and now she feared bringing it up again, even with the war in a state of deadly stalemate. Finn the Human was stubbornly insistent that the war machine could only be used on an existential threat that would otherwise destroy the world of Ooo. Nothing else even rated a blip on the scale for him. _Men listen to the advice of their women, Ingrid,_ said the voice. Except, of course, she _wasn't_. Not really. There were signs that, with enough time, she _could_ be. There were moments were he showed her affection equal to that of any of the others. Trouble was that there were _so many_ others. Even the bee was getting a fair chunk of his attention, and she was married.

Striding into the council chamber, the Acting Minister for War scanned the room, finding the skinny woman already waiting there along with Froyo Princess and the pink one's son. Boniface Bubblegum looked bleary-eyed, suggesting that he was burning the midnight oil trying to isolate the deadly contagion that was causing riots in the friendly kingdoms. The problem had been slowly spreading, and now there were pockets of it in Ingrid's kingdom too. As if things hadn't already been pretty dire, trade was all but shut down. Hunger was on the rise, and people were idle–a dangerous combination.

Slowly the remainder of the cabinet came on, mostly via hologram or phone from elsewhere. The Minister for Magic was first. Then came the Minister for Technology. Then came Princess Noemi and Princess Alexia. Ingrid took her seat among them, settling in to wait. She said nothing, keeping her face closed and her expression inscrutable. These women were all, in their ways, rivals and obstacles. Moments later, Finn arrived in company with his daughter, Fionna. They were talking in hushed voices, and Ingrid couldn't help wondering what they talked of. Nominally the pretty blonde worked for _her_ , but there was little love lost between them. Fionna made no secret of the fact that she didn't really _like_ Ingrid, and Ingrid had given up changing her mind. Really, when you got down to it, Finn's children and those bitches were _all_ obstacles to Ingrid's desires, and the Warrior Princess had to treat them as such. The stakes were rather high.

"Hey, everybody," said Finn, as he sat himself at the head of the table. Fionna took a seat near her supposed superior, her eyes focused on her father. They'd talked about finding out what had happened with Billy, but there was a larger bit of business to deal with right now. The Tesla Barrier was getting weaker by the hour. They'd be in the soup with Maja and Wildberry soon after it went down. Simone Mertens was clearly a little frazzled and upset, and everyone knew she was thinking about her son. Still, she calmly explained, "I am closing in on a cure for the Quicksilver Curse. My research indicates that the curse predates the last Grand Master and may have been the invention of the Red Cabal."

Finn shivered a little. The Reds had founded Wizard City seven-hundred years back. They were some of the nastiest of not-nice people, and they'd raised hell all over Ooo until Marceline put them in their place. "The Red Cabal's archives are lost," said Betty, her lovely face twisting into a frown. "Not anymore," Simone replied. "They're in the east. About a day's flying for me. I'll be going there tomorrow." Finn had gotten himself used to his wives and their independence. He accepted that Simone was going with no more than a nod. Moving on, Simone asked, "where's Cherry?"

They were a family–a united front–and Simone lived that more than any of them. What affected one, surely mattered to all of them. Lollipop put in, "working on that special project." They hadn't heard from her in a bit, and that was making the worry worse. It would be good to have everybody home and not under imminent threat of grievous harm and worse.

Nadia went next, apprising them of the status of the barrier. She had the electrical circuits ready for the switch-over. The folk of Candy-Town had been apprised of what was going to happen. Some had relocated to be with relatives in other towns, but the vast majority of the population, being poor, were going to hunker down and wait it out. "Any progress on freeing up fuel," Finn asked? Nadia flushed to her orange hair. Her cabinet had utterly refused to see a single gram of uranium leave their country. It was notgonnahappen. "Ok," said Finn. "We go with what we have."

Turning to his daughter, Finn said, "where are we at with the people of Cocoa City?" "We've got shelter put together for everybody, daddy," Fionna replied. She'd been up to her elbows in the job, raising shelters and having dudes put rooftops on them. "All the candy-peeps are in good shape," said the bad bunny, "and Sarah's artificial meat is keeping momma's peeps from going all cannibal on them." Though it was sometimes a little odd to find nude and half-nude nymphs sunning themselves at all hours of the day. More to the point, Fionna had built up the defenses of the gate-castles, fashioning earth and rock walls to protect them from the enemy cannon. The Grey Forest was in good shape. If they could keep things from going to hell in Candy-Town, they would be in a pretty good position to hold on.

"I don't agree with this course of action," rumbled Ingrid. Finn frowned at his would-be wife. Calmly, she said, "we should retrieve the war-machine. Blargetha's use of ancient technology to make war has clearly violated the Peace of Ooo. She's created the conditions on the ground that would justify our use of like force..." Finn frowned at her, but she went hard at his objections, saying, "I know Our King has articulated a policy of using minimal force, but our enemy has no such compunctions..." Fionna broke in, saying, "we can't use killer robot dudes on peeps! That's... It's..." "It's not for you to say, _general_ ," growled Ingrid. Before they could get to bickering, Finn said, "I'll hear Ingrid's argument..." "Daddy," howled Fionna! Betty shushed her. She already knew what he was doing. Ingrid needed the space to lay our her position. Even if he had no intention of accepting her argument, he had to let her speak.

Slowly Ingrid laid out her argument. She pointed to the attack on Cocoa City and the Grey Forest that used the tanks. She pointed out how Blargetha had meant to roll those tanks up to the front line and wipe out the Banana Guard at one go until her raiders had destroyed their fuel supply. Blargetha's war-machines were still out there and still poised to go into action the minute the Tesla Barrier was vulnerable. "In essence, My King, illegal war machines have already been used on the folk of Ooo," said she. "Your concern has been made moot."

Nodding, Finn pretended to think about that, while Fionna howled protests. Calmly, he said, "I'll see the First Minister after the meeting. If there has been no progress with finding the source of the riots, I will relocate the war-machine to the front line." Ingrid and Fionna both opened their mouths to speak, but Finn shut them both down, saying, "I can't use the excuse that somebody else did it first. The principal remains the same. Attacking the people of Ooo with death-machines is forbidden. It's been forbidden since the time of the bombs, and it should remain forbidden unless the need is dire. At the same time, pretty principals mean nothing if I let the other side wreck the peace and enslave the world." "Alright, My King," rumbled Ingrid. "Ok, daddy," muttered Fionna.

With the matter decided for the moment, Finn dissolved the meeting. Bon and Ingrid both headed out immediately, with Bon headed for the lab he now shared with his mother and stepmom, while Fionna stayed to hector her dad about his decision. Ingrid was in a state of severe agitation as she strode down the hall, going in the opposite direction from the pink prince. She wanted to get some air. She felt stifled, and despair was starting to really crowd out most every other emotion in her heart. She was frustrated and angry for being frustrated, and she had no idea what she was going to do now.

Just like clockwork, the voice came to her as she was halfway up the hall from the cabinet meeting. Her mind was going in slow circles, when she glanced up to find a demon going the other way. Startled, Ingrid glanced around her, finding that the sugary walls of the Candy Palace were gone, replaced by the foreboding reddish-black stone of the Night-O-Sphere. As her mind registered that reality, her feet began to grow rather warm. _The_ army _, Ingrid,_ announced the voice. _Why isn't he using it? You're supposed to convince him to use the army._ Her head turned this way and that, and she realized that the terrifying scenes of hell were gone. _But that's where you'll be, Ingrid,_ said the voice. _You killed mommy. You want to join her in hell, do you? Finn needs to use the army. You make sure he does._

The terrified princess rushed away from there, tearing down the hall as if her hair was on fire. Finn stepped out into the hall to find that his evil girlfriend was gone. He'd hoped to talk to her, maybe pick her brain for some idea of what he should do next. He still had no way to force peace on Maja and Wildberry, and he absolutely was _not_ going to deploy the War Machine. With no other option on the table, the big man set out for Bonnie's lab, praying to Glob as he walked that Bonnie and Sarah would have something for him. He was getting backed into a corner, and he was terrified of what could happen in Candy Town if the mysterious force causing the riots took hold there.

Ahead of him, Sarah Mertens got out of her car at the palace's rear door, feeling tired and irritable. She'd been up half the night–literally until her body began to _insist_ that she sleep. Which brought back the root-kit. Which brought the headaches. It was a chronic problem now. She'd been doing a little probing of her own–testing the parameters of her peculiar little 'curse'. The trigger seemed to be the _perception_ that what she was doing went against Bonnie's interests. Anything the android perceived to be counter to what her creator wanted was certain to trip the malware in her head.

In the days following the discovery of the malware, Sarah had relied on Beemo to squelch the bad program, but that too had become a problem. Specifically the little shit was creeping on her. He seemed to be getting some kind of twisted thrill from interfacing to her internal systems. She'd even caught him taking a stroll through her memories a time or two. She'd come close to punching him for that. And still she found herself relying on his help. It made her angry enough to smash the lab and its owner both.

The android-girl was in quite the mood when she walked into Bonnie's lab in the dungeon. Due to all the sleepless nights, her organic systems were functioning far below optimum capacity, and that was causing downstream effects on her other systems. Bonnie Bubblegum, sporting makeup over the shiner that Simone had given her, looked to be in no better mood. "Sleep well," she snarkily asked? "Fine thanks, and you," retorted Sarah? The sniping was a chronic thing, and the other frequent occupant of the lab was getting tired of it.

No sooner had that ugly exchange occurred than Boniface Bubblegum was coming through the door. Bonnie clammed up immediately. She already had a good idea just how thin was the ice she was on with her son. She'd tried talking him down from his rage, but that had been an utter disaster. The younger man had come very close to violence. Now he was in a state of constantly simmering anger and all of it directed at _her_. Striding up to the lab table where their latest specimen lay writhing and frothing at the mouth, he said, "father's committed to this course of action. The power in Candy Town goes down at noon, and it'll stay down until we either get uranium, get a second power-plant built, or end the war." Which basically meant that the risk of a full-blown, town-wide riot would be there until the end of the war.

Bonnie muttered curses, but Bon had not one lick of empathy as he shouted, "if you want to get out of this, work harder! We've been at this since the riots started!" Sniffing back tears, the candy monarch nodded. Shaking himself, Boniface turned back to the papers on the table. "The Amygdala is over-stimulated," he said. "Fight or Flight is overriding all of the higher brain functions. Most of his brain is completely shut down." Which they'd discovered on the third day of experimenting with the live specimens. They knew what was going on in the brains of the madmen, but they still had no cause and no cure. Knowing what the madman's neurochemistry looked like, Bonnie had immediately wanted to start trying out psycho-active drugs on him to see if they could return him to normal function. It was the same thing she always did–tinker until she found an answer. They didn't have the time for that, nor did Bon think that was prudent at the moment. What would they do if they made things worse? Unfortunately they were running out of time.

Calmly, Bonnie said, "I would like you to reconsider our approach." Sarah retorted, "on that we agree." Rolling his eyes, the pink prince muttered, "well that's a new one. Both of you close to agreeing." Both women blushed to their hair. Throwing out a bone for her annoying creator, Sarah allowed, "we have to make a move, Bon. She's right about that. Sometimes a leap of faith is a necessary evil." He knew he was sometimes too tentative about things. Marshall had called him a wimp on occasions too numerous to mention, and Bon knew he was right. Still, he had spine when he needed it, and he now told the pair of them, "then you need to bring me a direction that we can pursue. A leap of faith is one thing. A suicidal leap off a bridge is something else."

Flushing, Sarah said, "it's something too obvious to see. It's got to be..." Frowning, Bon turned to his stepmother and asked, "what does that mean?" "I think she's trying to say that we're too smart to see it," rumbled Bonnie. "It's something we're discounting because it seems too trivial..." Waving her hands, Sarah said, "fight or flight is the rawest of emotion. It's got to be something equally raw stimulating the reaction–something _primitive_." Frowning, Bonnie began to pace now. When her son might have said something, Sarah shushed him. "Thinking," she said. "Deep-think." Bon found himself a little creeped out. It was crazy to be in the presence of two people who were very nearly identical and yet so clearly different that they hated each other. Out of the blue, the candy monarch asked, "what's his Parietal Lobe look like?" Frowning, Bon turned to the pile of charts and began sifting through it until he had the right piece of data.

"There's a clearly defined pulse of _something_ here," said the young prince. "It's so regular, it's almost like a clock. His Parietal Lob's pulsing as if something's feeding him a stream of information." Now Sarah took over, saying, "that's how it's getting in. Visual stimulus..." "No," said Bonnie! "It can't be visual, Sarah! It has to be something that's still with him, and that would have affected us too..." Before either Bon or his mother could say another word, the android-girl had crossed the room in two strides and jammed her pinky finger up the subject's nose almost to the last knuckle. " _Slide_ ," she shouted, as she twisted that finger back and forth! Startled by this development, Bon fumbled for a specimen container out of the stack on the lab table.

Sarah's eyelids were shut as he approached, though her eyes were clearly still moving. "Analysis mode," Bonnie explained. Frowning, the android said, "there's something growing in there." Withdrawing her pinky, she came up with a load of nasty goo. Bon cleaned her finger of the contents of the sandwich-cookie's nose and rushed to the microscope. In short order, all three geniuses were crowded around the display. They found themselves looking at a plant of some kind. There were microscopic roots growing out of what looked like a seed-pod. "Yeah," said Bonnie. "I think we found it." "But _what_ have we found," rumbled Sarah? "I don't know," muttered Bon, "but I think Wildberry Princess and Maja have the answer." Grabbing at her hair, Sarah said, "Finn can't shut down Candy-Town! Those spores! It's possible they can be delivered by air!"

Grimly, Finn the King retorted, "then we'll have to keep everyone in their homes and seal the town." All three scientists looked up at him. Finn's face was implacable as he said, "we don't have a choice. Either we take the risk that they'll kill each other because of whatever caused this, or Maja and her crew roll over them on their way to the palace." Neither was a great choice, but there were no other choices coming. Staring at the raving lunatic strapped to the gurney, the big man said, "I stopped by to see how things were progressing. This is good news."

"This sucks like pickled-fish and yogurt," muttered Sarah. Bonnie shivered at the very _sound_ of that dish. She well knew it tasted as gross as it sounded. "It is what it is, babe," said Finn. Smiling, he said, "we're back in this. Now you need to figure out how they did it and find me a cure." Both girls nodded. Frowning at Bonnie, Finn asked, "what happened to your face?" "Tripped," Sarah lied. "She smacked into a table. Too much work." Frowning in concern as he touched the still-tender bruise, Finn said, "be careful." Glance at Sarah, "both of you." With hugs for both, the big man got on his way.

Finn headed upstairs to the small medical ward that Drew had established in Bonnie's palace. With the kingdom under siege and the inevitable risk to the various VIPs that stopped in to see Bonnie or Finn, she'd decided that it was just a bit too risky to go out to the Candy Clinic. Now Finn wanted to see how his two old friends were doing and to make sure they were going to be ok. Betty had told him some cryptic things, suggesting that Wildberry and her crew had done some pretty bad stuff to the sisters. Finn had been doing his best not to panic over it, but he had been having some pretty wild fears about what 'bad stuff' entailed.

Walking into the examination room, Finn found Drew going over Breakfast, who sat there in a rather unstylish brown dress which looked to have been borrowed. Her eyes kept trying to slide away from him as he approached, and that somewhat told the tale of how she'd been treated. Drew's eyes swapped between her work on the patient and her husband as the big man crossed the floor. "Doc," he greeted her. "How's my bud doing? She able to talk?" "For a little while," said Drew. "I'll be hanging out here..." That said something about the condition that Breakfast was in. Her body seemed to be just fine, though there was an ugly black bruise covering much of her left cheek. That suggested that maybe there was some other stuff involved. Finn again found himself thinking of that evil 'r' word.

Finn told his old friend, "I'm sorry it took us so long to find you. News is sketchy out of Wildberry Kingdom." Sniffing back tears, she thanked him for the rescue. Giving her a reassuring grin, he said, "tell me what happened... As much as you're willing to talk about..." The whole thing started off slow, with Breakfast talking about how poor their defenses had been. She talked about relying on Agent Princess to bring her news and how Orzsebet had seemed to betray them in the end. Finn found himself growing a little angry at that bitch. "They were inside our city before we even realized we were being invaded," babbled Breakfast! "I... the gates were locked, but somehow they got inside."

She told of how Strudel had gone down to organize the defense, only to find that the enemy was already in control of much of the city. They hadn't really even had a chance to _flee_. "Strudel... she cut a deal with them," Breakfast explained. "She'd run things in their favor if they left us alone..." "But they changed the deal, didn't they," Finn muttered. Evil always changed the deal. Nodding and sniffing back tears, Breakfast admitted, "Wildberry had her men come down and rough me up... They wanted information on your troops, but I didn't know anything. Then they... They went into Toast's cell." She couldn't say that word. She didn't want to acknowledge that word. Drew stopped the conversation there, saying, "why don't you come back later, Finn? She's a little upset." "Can I see Toast," he asked? At Drew's warning look, he said, "ok. Later."

As Finn headed out of the little clinic, Cherry and Thor were settling into a car with their supposed contact. Marjorie had been as good as her word, hooking them up with people who had their fingers on the pulse of things in the _new_ Warrior Kingdom. Ingrid had made a mess of Cherry's old networks, but Marjorie had lots of friends in low places it seemed.

"I'm not sure I understand why we're leaving town," said the Boss of Bosses. With an airy wave of her hand, Marjorie replied, "well, quite simply, because they're not here." Thor wore a frown as he sat down next to his master. He liked this no more than she did. He didn't trust the players in Warrior Kingdom. Things were fluid here with Ingrid in charge once more. Fluid was something that always brought danger in the underworld. Sipping at fine wine, Marjorie explained, "we've been told that there's some kind of operation far to the north and east. Somebody's been taking corpses from the morgues and funeral shops. I naturally thought of your friends." "They're not my friends," Cherry retorted, as her mind worked on that news.

She knew Marshall could raise the dead. Finn had told her about Marceline's powers over all manner of dead creatures. Marceline could raise an army of zombies and skeletons if she wanted. Marshall had inherited nearly all her power. She knew her stepson was a troubled man, but she knew that he was also a good, good man. He was struggling with his inner demon, and mostly he was winning. She had serious doubts about his 'ladies' though.

She was iffy on Connie. Connie had some sense. She couldn't have managed running a kingdom if she didn't. At the same time, if Cherry was iffy on Connie, she thought Candy and Davina were absolutely untrustworthy. Davina was an ass who had seduced her own daughter's boyfriend. What kind of idiot did _that_?! And that was the rub. Cherry had a ready answer for that question. Davina was the kind of woman who would use her gifted powers to create an undead army for her own gain. Candy was the kind of fool who followed mommy into trouble simply out of blind loyalty. "Alright," said the Mafia Princess. "Drive on." One way or another, she'd get Marshall his answer.

Miles to the east, Maja the Sky Witch sat on the brow of a hill in the same place Blargetha had sat, watching the strange play of energy across the pillars that formed cyber-bitch's wall. It was strangely fascinating, and she could well have sat there for hours staring at it. Her mind was lost deep in utterly strange thoughts, and she found herself strangely haunted by one particular face. None of this was going to plan. Honestly, she was a little worried about what Finn the Human would do when he found out what Berry-bitch had done to his friends. That didn't even begin to address what she'd done to his son. Would he be vengeful? A vengeful man was a deadly opponent, and Finn was already dangerous enough. He was the deadliest she'd ever faced, and she was having a great deal of trouble closing the deal on this.

The witch checked her watch again. She'd been really unable to _stop_ doing that. She'd been doing that since she'd woken up. With their new puppet on the throne, there was no uranium coming from Jungle Kingdom. Cyber-bitch's forcefield would be falling any moment now. That would let her horde of creatures go tearing through bubblegum bitch's kingdom. Even if she wasn't ready to strike at her enemy's home base, it would deprive them of much of their resources and scare other kingdoms off the fence.

And then Finn would be alone and vulnerable.

Hour by hour, Maja watched the barrier as it crackled and arced, losing herself in her schemes and plans. By turns she thought of Finn's child, the Glass-Witch. A part of her wanted to take Fionna the Human apart to see how she did what she did. Another part thought it would be great fun to _turn_ her. The young woman's powers could be very useful in governing the world. Indeed, whether it was the boy-prince's intellect or the young wood-nymph's skills with spells and skullduggery, all the children were valuable. The vampire was too dangerous to deal with, and Maja was somewhat resigned to having to ignore his presence. He seemed happy enough with his bitches in Engagement Ring Kingdom, so there was that. But the rest of them could be quite useful.

A part of her still wanted the father, though. She caught herself day-dreaming of turning him–of bending him to her will. _Will he flee,_ she thought? When the forcefield was gone, her hoarded creatures would storm the Candy Kingdom, and they would, quite possibly, overwhelm the defenses in the capitol. So would he flee? _I can offer you sanctuary, Finn,_ she thought. _But only if you hand me your soul._

"Just a few minutes," announced Orzsebet. The forcefield was coming down at noon. Her agents had heard the news straight from Princess Nadia's own lips. Maja glanced up and yawned. She'd been here all morning! Coming on the heels of a sleepless night spent fruitlessly plotting and scheming, she was a little keyed-up and a whole lot tired, but it was all going to end in mere moments. A glance to her left showed the tanks were ready to roll. Behind them the troops were lined up, ready to exploit the gaps. Ahead of her, the thousands of slavering creatures she'd created were primed and ready to move.

Moment by moment, Agent Princess counted down the clock, and the anticipation grew. Blargetha was munching on popcorn, and Wildberry had a massive bag of jerky. Maudie was happy to tell everyone just what she planned to do to Finn's bitch of a daughter for leaving her husband to die at the Lich's hands. She wanted to wring Fionna's neck–but only after making her watch her precious Patrick die an ugly, lingering death. "Five," counted Orzsebet. "Four... Three... Two..." As the anticipation built, some of them leaned forward, almost straining to see the barrier collapse.

And then nothing.

Irritated, Maja growled, "ok. What gives?" Everyone flinched, Orzsebet not least of all. She'd promised the barrier was coming down, but it was still there. More than one face went very pale as they contemplated how very angry the witch was going to get. She'd been counting on this. This was their chance–the hour at which they would plow Finn the Human and all his bitches under. A humanoid approached then. "Message from my boss," he declared. Maja got a sinking feeling. Sugarlump had been calling half the morning. She'd been ignoring the nasty bitch. Now she had the unpleasant feeling the gangster knew why the barrier was still up. "Let's hear the bad news," she sighed.

The gangster declared, "the Capo di tutti Capi declared that all organized activity in Candy-Town must cease as of noon today on pain of death at the hands of the King of Ooo." Maja's eyes burned into his, and Blargetha sat bolt upright. Before the gangster could say another word, the witch muttered, "they're transferring power from the town to the barrier." She began to mutter curses, and everyone near her went very still. This was when she usually got very violent. "Fuck," muttered the witch. Without a further word, she headed towards the War-Elephant. As the pack of them watched, the old witch climbed aboard her pet's back and rode off towards the east, leaving the pack of them behind. "Well that sucks," muttered Wildberry. When Maja got like this, she tended to eat all the ice-cream in the palace. And now no-one was there to stop her.

Hundreds of miles to the south in Jungle Kingdom, Abeiuwa pressed the poultice to her nose and breathed deeply of the burning fumes. She was guessing, of course. She knew that whatever had happened to her husband and Billy, Wildberry was the source. The obvious answer was the peculiar scent they'd both smelled before the madness overtook them. Inhaling the fumes, she found her head slowly clearing, and that gave her space to consider a next move. There were questions. Why did Billy become mad? Why not Oreva? The answer might be worth her life.

Moving about the clearing, she gathered up things that could help her situation. _Primitive brain functions,_ she thought. Anger and jealousy were all part of the primitive brain. Oreva had been a jealous, _possessive_ jerk the whole time Billy was in their home. Abeiuwa had been amused at first, but that quickly faded into annoyance as her husband's antics got steadily worse. Billy's rage had ignited like a fire, and the princess couldn't help wondering how she hadn't lost herself. She shouldn't have been able to do anything but fight for her life. Yet somehow she'd hung on long enough to make an antidote.

None of it made sense, though, and, in the end, she realized that _why_ would have to wait. She needed to figure out how to stop a man who's higher brain functions were severely impaired. As she passed a White Passion Flower in full bloom, the fallen princess gasped in startled memory. She'd brewed up a potent aphrodisiac to get Oreva to loosen up for their wedding night. It had worked almost too well, and they'd both been so exhausted they hardly left bed the next day. Now she realized there was one asset she had that was just as potent to the primitive brain as hunger, fear, and rage.

Deciding on a plan was the easy part. Gathering up the materials she needed to execute that plan were much harder–especially when she had to keep on moving. Across the afternoon, the fallen princess moved from place to place in the jungle, searching out herbs and ingredients. It had been _fun_ in the days leading up to her wedding. She'd been the typical bride, focused only on _her_ special day. Going to her bachelorette party–with beautiful men to ogle. Getting fitted for a beautiful dress. Oreva's mother had showered her in jewelry so that she'd shown like the sun at the ceremony. Now she was about to do something that spit on that glorious day. If she survived this, she would be forever shamed, but she had to live in order to be ashamed. That was the key thought. The dead had no shame at all.

As the sun was setting, the ravening monster that had been a beautiful young man finally caught up to the fallen princess. She was on the edge of a clearing, standing there radiant against the setting sun. She'd set smoke-pots full of the pungent nuptial incense all around, and she had covered herself in potent oils. The madman came rushing into the clearing, his eyes wild with his strange malady. Almost immediately he stopped. The wind carried the scent of the incense to him, and he stopped right where he was.

As Abeiuwa stood there staring at him, noting as she did the tattered state of his clothing and the battlescars thus revealed, the wind abruptly changed. Once more he darted forward. Just as quickly as before, he was arrested. A trap snatched him from the ground, jerking him into the air. She knew the trap wouldn't stop him. His ice-powers were just as potent now as when he was lucid. It did slow him down, though. The princess rushed forward, raising the blowgun as she did so. The venom for today was a more potent and concentrated form of the same substance in the smoke pots. The raging man stopped in mid struggle, and she saw his skin go red with heat.

Still, it did nothing to stop him from cutting himself out of the net with a razor-sharp shard of ice. Then he was turning on her once again. Stepping back amongst the most pungent of the smoke-pots, Abeiuwa stood waiting as Billy the Human darted forward once more. Just when he would have driven that deadly shard into her chest, the madman stopped in mid stride. As he tottered there, breathing in that scent, the fallen princess shrugged off the robe, revealing her nude body. The lost soul before her stared a long few moments, the ice-dagger falling from nerveless fingers. And then he pounced.

Late that evening, Finn slipped into the tiny hospital ward that Drew had set up. His wife was at dinner, and he'd skipped out, claiming he had some stuff to get done. In reality, he wanted to come up here to look in on his buds and make sure they were ok. His fingers clawing for traction on the rough texture of the candy-palace's exterior, the big man climbed up and up until he'd reached the third floor. He knew the girls would be irritated for him risking his life at this, but he felt like he needed to do this. A part of him felt like he'd let BP and Toaster down. He'd had good reasons for the actions he'd taken, but he hadn't been there when they were getting the beat-down by Wildberry and her goons.

Careful of his grip, the big man shimmied over the gap to Toast's balcony and slipped over the railing. He was half afraid he would find her unconscious inside with her head beaten in or something crazy like that. Bonnie had told him hair-raising things about the threats his dad and the aliens had made. He'd spent over a year wanting to do in the fucker who'd cut snips of her hair off to scare her. Gorg. Finn knew the alien was dead. He'd died a lonely, miserable death in the frozen north, but Finn still sometimes thought of him when he was looking at PB.

Opening the sliding glass door, Finn called out to his friend in a soft whisper, "Toast... You in here?" The room was softly lit by a lamp placed on its low setting. Toast Princess reached over and flicked the lamp to full on, bathing the room in light and making him wince in pain. "Hi, Finn," she greeted him. It was shockingly _normal_. Indeed, everything about that space seemed normal–if you didn't count the bruises on Toast's arms and shoulders. Somebody had beat his friend up, and Finn found himself growing both uneasy and enraged. "Hey," he greeted her as he slowly approached. "I kept asking when you were going to visit," said Toast, "but Dr. Princess said you were busy..." Finn flushed. He was busy being kept away.

Finn drew the chair from the side table and sat down backwards, facing her over the back of the chair. His eyes were just starting to well up with tears, but Toast seemed oblivious to that, as she asked how things had been going. It was like Simone, when she didn't want to talk about something. The younger woman kept on in that vein, talking about nothings in a display that left him mortified. He didn't even know how to begin to address this, and he knew that Drew was maybe a little right in telling him to come back.

Interrupting Toast, he murmured, "I... heard what happened..." Her expression never wavered. Indeed, Toast chuckled bitterly. "Yeah, our governess always said it would," she said. Finn frowned at her. The look on his face would have been comical any other time. "Said we were going to be raped or get knocked-up or both," said Toast. "Told my mother that all the time..." Those words were awful, and Finn asked, "w-why would she say that?!" "She was a nasty old cunt, and we liked to have fun," Toast replied. "She wanted us in our beds at bed-time, and we would sneak out and do what we wanted." Shaking her head, the little beauty said, "if she could see me now..." Feeling the hurt of that like a physical blow, Finn asked, "w-what happened to her?"

With a shrug, the princess said, "what do you think, Finn? We fired her the first chance we got." She had to laugh about it now. "We were two little orphan-cunts," said Toast. "With all the power and nobody to guide us, so we did whatever we wanted. The kingdom very nearly went under until Breakfast wised up one day. Ironically about the time Ice King started snatching girls. Me... I wasn't first heir, so I kept on keepin' on. And now I get to pay for it all..." Her husband had been more interested in saving his own skin–and his place as a Royal Consort–than in saving his wife from death or assault. He hadn't lifted a finger, and she didn't doubt he was still living it up in the palace. At her expense.

Finn flinched in horror at those words, and he struggled for something to say to refute that awful assessment. When nothing came, he promised, "I-I'm'a go to him..." Now he was just being stupid. Glaring at him, Toast retorted, "and do what, Finn? Beat him up? Make him take me back? I cheated on him for _years_. This is his chance to get rid of me. He gets a nice settlement and no more Royal Entanglements..." Bursting into tears, she howled, "I'm a _slut_! This is what happens to sluts!" Finn, who was terminally weak when it came to girls and tears, found himself reaching out to her, only to stop in mid motion as he realized, in a fit of stark panic, that he could be making things worse. _I shouldn't have come,_ he thought.

"I'm sorry," he burbled. Eyes downcast, looking like the sorriest excuse for sentient life in all of creation, Finn the Human looked like he was moments from bolting. "I made this happen to myself," sniffed Toast. "We partied, and we had all kinds of fun, and we married the two biggest losers on Ooo so we could boss them around and cheat on them whenever we wanted. It's... I guess it's a lesson from Glob, Finn." Shooting to his feet, Finn begged her not to think that way, but Toast wasn't listening. "I'm'a go far away after this," she said. Kneeling at her side, Finn took her hand and said, "please don't go, Toaster... I'm... I'd be so sad if you weren't around anymore. I'm... I'm'a find a way to fix this! I swear it!" Rising, he swore he would find the guy who'd hurt her and make him pay. Then he rushed out of there as if his clothes were on fire.

In Wildberry Kingdom, the source of Toast's anguish strode into the dungeon after hours on the road getting back home. She was more than a little irritated that Maja had basically abandoned the lot of them and, more or less, left them to their own devices to get home again. She'd been in a state of slow, smoldering anger the whole way home, and she'd really intended to give Maja a piece of her mind, consequences be damned. They were supposed to be allies, and the bitch does _this_?! Now, as she took in the scene before her, it rather appeared that a long drive home was the least of her worries.

The witch was pacing and muttering under her breath when Wildberry entered her sanctum. Maja displayed manic energy as she went back and forth, up and down, back and forth. Remnants of various concoctions decorating the walls told that the nasty bitch had been having a bit of a tantrum down here, smashing whatever came to hand–for all the good it did her. The evil princess thought that maybe, just maybe, she might finally let them in on the plan. She'd been keeping things to herself since the whole business had gotten off the ground, rarely revealing more than a bit of this and that to her erstwhile _partners_ even as she leveled brutal sanctions on them for their mistakes. But her secret plan was _failing_. So now it was time for a frank talk about what they were doing.

"Ok," said Wildberry. "So we've sent five armies against Finn and his bitches. All five have been smashed. I even faced down that fucking ice-wizard, and the barrier's still up. What now?" Eyes glowing, the nasty witch glared at her. Wildberry shrugged. It was obvious that Maja didn't give two fucks about them. At the same time, it was just as obvious that she needed them. Otherwise she could have killed Yolanda and Blargetha out of hand instead of just slapping them around.

Calming herself, Maja muttered, "I expected that fucking barrier to go down..." "You should have played the game a little more," retorted Wildberry. "The cards came up with an extension to the barrier." Maja flushed. She _had_ played the game, but she didn't like where the cards were leading her. Settling onto the stool that Maja customarily occupied, Wildberry said, "there's three cards in the little lizard's deck. One of them is me... or... well, it _looks_ like me, and it's labeled Civil Strife. The second is labeled Rogue Ally. I don't know what that one means. The last one's got your picture on it." It was clear that the berry-bitch didn't understand at all. Of course she'd as much as said that she didn't _like_ Card Wars. Maja had developed a strange affinity for it. Beginning to pace again, the witch muttered, "he's still too strong. He's got too many dangerous allies. The vampires are tied down in their kingdom, and they're happy there, but it wouldn't take much to push them."

She gestured, and the whole wall on the far side of the laboratory opened up. To Wildberry's utter shock, she saw over two dozen copies of her own face staring back at her from giant glass tubes. She found herself moving before she even realized she was on her feet. Clearly awed, she stepped up to the brain-dead creature in the closest tube and stood there staring at it. Turning back to Maja, Wildberry asked, "w-what are they? Do they live?" "Civil Strife," muttered the witch. "I program them with bits of my thoughts and memories, then turn them loose in the enemy kingdoms." Her clones had been sparking violence and riots since the cyber-bitch put up that barrier. Frowning, Wildberry asked, "how did you make them?"

She knew Bonnie sometimes cloned her citizens. She'd made no secret of that as she was building her little empire on the Grasslands. With a shrug, Maja replied, "harvested your ovules..." Wildberry grabbed at her waist in shock and horror. Waving airily, the witch replied, "don't worry. You've got plenty left." It wasn't as though the bitch even had _prospects_. Nor did Maja think she would trust a supposed heir or suffer one to live long enough to take the throne.

Frowning, Wildberry asked, "and the card with your face? I can see the other one means that we should release more of these clones. I can arrange to move them... possibly north through Froyo Kingdom, and we've got contacts in Oceanside now, so there's that. What does your card do?" With a sigh, Maja said, "it means direct confrontation. I have to confront Finn the Human directly. Problem is that he's still too strong. I need an edge. Something strong enough that he can't kill it outright like he did the Sleeper..." Pacing again, she began to mutter about things that Wildberry didn't understand. Finally, she stopped pacing and said, "I don't have a choice. I have to go all in if I want to win. I'll have to conjure the Fire-Bleeder."


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31:

Princess Abeiuwa awoke in a state of exhaustion, feeling much like she'd run a pair of marathons back to back. After a day of running for her life, she'd gotten pretty much ravaged for two or three hours straight. Her plan had worked _too_ well. If anyone had told her she would need to use her body to seduce and soothe a raving madman, she would have laughed. If you'd added in the fact that said madman was a colleague's husband, she'd have slapped your face. _You're in real trouble, Abeiuwa,_ she told herself. Whatever Wildberry did to her husband had left Oreva in the bitch's complete control. Suddenly neutrality didn't sound so good.

As she was scrabbling around for clothing, _he_ woke up. A thrill of stark terror flooded her mind, causing her heart to pound. The ravening beast that Billy the Human had become sniffed the air, and she found herself suddenly faced with the need to flee again. Glob was looking out for her today, though. Maybe there was a trace of the aphrodisiac still clinging to her even after last night. The madman did nothing more than nuzzle her chest with his face before laying down beside her. After all that had happened in the last day or so, she laughed. She really couldn't help it. When he rolled onto his back and just stared up at her like her pet lion used to, the fallen princess just howled laughter.

The laughter didn't last long. Cathartic as it was, it still left her in a profound depression. "Your mind is gone," she sighed. "Just like Oreva's. She's imprisoned you in there, somewhere." The two most capable men she knew besides Finn, and they were both lost to her. One had become Wildberry's puppet. The other was stark, raving mad. Just then, rustling in the jungle announced that her problems were about to become a whole lot worse. It was a truism in the jungle. Shelter first. If you weren't in shelter, you were at the mercy of the beasts. Now, as Abeiuwa tried to reason out what new threat she was facing, a terrifying mutant came charging out of the undergrowth. The beast was eight-feet long, covered in armored scales, and had a dozen legs ending in vicious claws. Its massive maw was as long as her arm, and filled with rows of razor-sharp teeth.

As she backpedaled, Billy rushed forward, swinging his fists, which now came tipped in massive ice-blades. It was almost instinctual the way he formed weapons of ice, suggesting that those strange powers were almost a primal part of him the way the rage and sex-drive were. Meeting the beast halfway across the little clearing, the big man drove a hardened shard of glacial ice into the beast's skull, piercing through the hardened bone and skewering the lizard's tiny brain. As the big man darted back, the dieing monster began to flail. Billy leapt back from his victim, and when he turned to face Abeiuwa, she found the lizard had scored him along his ribs on the left side. Face gone soft once again, he got down on his hands and knees and practically came crawling up to her side. "Well," she sighed. "I have you. At least part of you. Come along. We'll have to treat that. Those claws have venom." And she rose, gathered up the pot with the aphrodisiac along with what was left of her clothes, and set out to find the ingredients she needed. The wounded man followed along in her wake, looking as dazed as Oreva had been.

Hundreds of miles to the north, Finn the Human lay tossing and turning in his sleep. He'd gone to bed in a bit of a state after the ugly revelations about what Wildberry had done to two of his oldest friends. He'd been distraught enough that nothing Lollipop and Drew could do would console him. Now he found himself facing Emeraude in his dreams. He was reliving the night the alien body-snatcher had tried to make him kill his wife. He'd had her down on the ground with the knife in his hands poised to drive it through her heart. "Kind of a bad situation," said E in her typical sardonic voice.

"What," he babbled? Shrugging–they were now standing–she said, "I kinda' get why you were so upset. You were kind of a lot a mess after that." Frowning, Finn asked, "ok... what gives? I haven't dreamed about this in years." With a shrug, the wood nymph said, "yeah, I needed to get access to your somewhat waking mind. Billy's in a bind, Finn. He needs you bad. You need to drop everything and get your butt to Jungle Kingdom. I can help you find him, but you need to move quickly." And then she socked him in the jaw. Hard. Finn shot to wakefulness, sitting up with a start. A startled Lollipop frowned up at him. Sitting up, she said, "ok, did you just punch yourself in your sleep?" Drew sat up too and took a good look at what the skinny woman was looking at. Sure enough, the big man had given himself a pretty good bruise.

Climbing out of bed, Finn said, "I don't know what just happened. I just had a crazy dream..." Calmly, Drew told him, "after last night, I don't blame you. Tell me about it." Finn turned to face her and other memories came flooding back. He'd come close to hurting her too. Muttering curses, the big man stalked off towards the bathroom. When Lollipop would have chased him, the doctor stopped her. It was no good to chase him when he was in a mood like this. They'd done all they could for the moment, and mostly they'd just succeeded in keeping him from walling himself off. It was time to let him be for a moment.

When he returned from the bathroom, he was still in a somber mood, but he was talking again. Greeting Drew with a kiss on the cheek, he said, "dreamed about the body-snatcher." Drew did her best not to react to that. The alien entity that took over his body had forced him to do some pretty awful things. Drew had been insistent on purging those memories, but there was still a little left in there apparently. "I'm... ok," he said, as he kissed her again. Moving over to where Lollipop was combing out her long, brown hair, he kissed the top of her head and said, "I'm'a go for a walk. Need some air." He _wasn't_ ok, but he was better than he had been. "Stop by and see the kids," Drew admonished him. Finn's face went hot. He wasn't doing well with that. Straightening his tie, she said, "they miss daddy. All of them. Van talks about daddy all the time." Promising that he would, Finn got on his way.

When he'd gone, Lollipop turned and asked, "what's with the guilt thing...?" With a shrug, Drew said, "the kids ground him–more than anything else. He lives and breathes those kids. All of them." If they could just get him in that room, he would be rolling around on the floor–back down at _their_ level–as if nothing else in the world mattered more. Nodding, the former model said, "maybe we bring the kids to _him_..." A frown curling her brow, the doctor said, "maybe. That's actually a pretty good idea."

Downstairs, a battered Banana Guard truck rolled into the Royal Compound with a familiar blonde figure at the wheel. Fionna pulled up to the stairs, and the two borrowed bananas jumped down. A mildly irritated Star Mertens watched her older sister as she came up the stairs looking a little tired. "You didn't say you were going to Candy-Town," the wood nymph muttered. Flippantly, Fionna retorted, "you didn't ask..." Star, who'd spent the previous evening and part of the morning running interference, growled, "she was looking for you." Indeed, Ingrid announced, "I still am. Where have you been, Fionna?" Calmly, Fionna replied, "solving the problem of Candy-Town. Now if you'll excuse me, I'd like a shower and to see my daughter..." When she'd gone, Star merely said, "you're pushing too hard..." Then she too stood up and got on her way.

Fionna found her dad sitting in the Royal Nursery surrounded by sleeping kids with Van on his lap. The lights were off, and she was almost startled to find him there. "Hey, daddy," she greeted him. "Fi," he replied. He sounded depressed. Coming across the room, the bad bunny asked, "come down to see the kids, huh?" Nodding, Finn said, "failing, Fi. Failing all of you." Fionna nodded, burbling, "failing, huh?" She went and retrieved Mona, finding the little darling snoozing. "Gettin' a little chubby," cooed the proud mommy. Coming back across the room, Fionna said, "so daddy's failing us..." Finn flushed to his hair and glanced away. Snatching Van out of his arms, the blonde girl sat down on his lap, lay her head against his and said, "if you're a failure, I hope I'm failin' like that in twenty years!"

Awkwardly, Finn slipped his arms around his little girl, as she cradled _her_ little girl. "Six great kids all grown up and out in the world..." Wrinkling her nose, she amended, "maybe five-and-a-half. Marshall _is_ kind of a jerk-face. Bunch of really cool little dudes and dudettes..." She proceeded to hug little Van and tease his belly-button with her nose until he giggled. "Yeah, daddy," she said, "you're a big failure!" Kissing his cheek, she hauled Van back across to his crib and said, "I'm'a send gramma down to bash you if you don't stop moping." Carrying Mona, she headed out the door, bound for her room.

The pretty blonde was as good as her word. In short order, Betty came walking through the door. "So here's our fearless hero," she teased. "Hey, Bets," Finn murmured. He sounded just like he looked. Depressed. He was about as depressed as depressed got, and she _knew_ why. He was a kind and _decent_ man, unused to even raising his voice to a woman, no matter what she'd done. He was the kind of man that had _internalized_ the age-old social compact. No man lifts his hand to a woman. In spite of all the ugly things women had done to him, he still held that foremost in his heart. And just like every man she'd ever met, that sentiment was killing him. It was most evident right now, when the circumstances he was living under raised his primal rage. He needed to smash something, but there was nothing he could smash that would help.

Sitting down beside him, Betty took his hand and whispered, "tell me what you're thinking..." She felt him tense, but she lay her head on his shoulder, saying, "you've _carried_ me for months, babe. You and Simone both have kept me going... Just... let it out. Have _your_ say for a change." That got through to him. "I don't know how to fix this," he said. "Tell me how to fix it." She knew what he meant, and she knew that she was going to disappoint him. She knew that just as she was certain he already knew what the answer had to be. "You can't _fix_ this, Finn," she sighed. "They... made their bed. You can't go back in time and snatch them out of that somehow..."

He wasn't sure about that. He'd never probed the limits of the Curse. A corner of his mind sometimes thought that if Talia could take the edges of the Grey-Forest _forward_ in time, maybe he could take himself _back_. He wasn't sure that was a good idea, though. Visions of the singularity that he'd conjured up for Bonnie's Science-Barbecue sprang to mind. The world wasn't made for mere mortal men to do something like that, and he didn't like the idea of playing for Glob anyway. Betty was still speaking though, and he tuned back in to what she was saying. "...you're not the first man to go through this, Finn," she said. "Simon's brother went through it with his wife. You can't change what's already happened, and short of learning Breezy's healing spell, you can't erase her feelings about it. You can only be there for her. Be there for her to lean on, the same way you've always been. This will take time to heal, and she's going to need all the support we can give her."

Face glum, the big man nodded. Taking a deep breath, Betty let him have the unpleasant piece of news that she'd brought. "Star got a phone call," she said. Finn turned to look at her with a frown on his face. Straightening, Betty looked him square in the eye and said, "we don't know if it's the same mole or somebody else. The caller told Star that Abeiuwa's been deposed. Her husband's on the throne." And Billy was missing. Climbing to his feet now, Finn said, "alright. Then we need to start working on a rescue mission. Does Simone know?" Flushing, Betty admitted, "we haven't told her yet." "Tell her as soon as I'm gone," he said. "For now, get the cabinet together. We've got work to do."

Meanwhile, in Warrior Kingdom, Cherry was dealing with looming danger of her own. She had a case with her–or rather Thor did–filled with gold coins. There were enough there in the case to keep a lot of people in wine, women, and song for many years. It was a down-payment on the tidy sum sitting in the truck that had brought them a hundred twenty odd miles from the capitol. Marjorie was nowhere to be seen. She'd called and left them a message the previous night, telling them she'd made the arrangements for their contacts to meet them here in this forgotten ruin. Now they were standing here alone with a giant pile of money, waiting on the unknown.

Thor was profoundly unhappy, while Cherry had made it abundantly clear that she cared not at all. She didn't care about his unhappiness. She was still very much in a snit about him essentially dumping Star to go sniffing after Ingrid. It didn't really matter to her in the least what his reasons were, she had come very close to slapping him. She'd honestly been angry enough to put a BDOS order on him. Not enough to kill him, certainly, but a beat-down would have taught him a lesson about playing with a woman's emotions like that. Standing there in that empty place with the possibility that a hundred hands come be turned against him, Thor found himself reflecting on the madness that was the woman.

"Boss," he said. "What," she demanded? With a heavy sigh, he said, "if me saying I was sorry would cut it, I would, but we both know it doesn't. But getting us killed out here because you're pissed off at me doesn't do Star or her daddy any good." The little woman tensed. "We're doing reckless, boss," he said. "This isn't what we do, remember?" "She wants us further in her trap, Thor," said Cherry. "She's not going to kill us now. Not until she's bled some more money out of me." The big man frowned down at her. Calmly, Cherry said, "the warehouse where she does business belongs... _belonged_ to a Mr. John Erickson. He used it for fight clubs and to dispose of his enemies."

Thor's keen mind was working now, and she waited on what he was going to say. "Erickson didn't have any sisters, daughters, or grand-daughters," he rumbled. "No," said Cherry, "but he did have a pathetic excuse for a hooker who fancied herself his wife." Thor barely reacted at all. "It took me a bit to recognize her," said Cherry. "Back when I was working the edges of the underworld, I... _entertained_ John Erickson. It was just business, but he had a nasty girlfriend who tried to smash the windows out of my car." "She's really going to have a hard-on for you, boss," muttered the gangster. "She's probably in deep with this Sugarlump," replied Cherry. The big man frowned again, and his face went thoughtful the same way it always did when he was really chewing at something. "What's her play," he asked? "She could have done us in the warehouse..."

Coolly, Cherry replied, "do you really think the pair of them would stop at just murdering me? Why simply kill your enemy when you can take everything she has and everything she's worked for? They're going to string this along, Thor. They'll see just how much cash I've got to hand over. They'll see just how deep they can pull me in. Likely they're making moves against my operations in the Candy Kingdom and Engagement Ring Kingdom as we speak. I mean, I'm distracted, right?" The big man chuckled. She still had it. In spite of his fears, she still had it going on. As a pair of vehicles pulled up with a pack of scary looking dudes inside, the little crime boss said, "do play along, Thor. You're worried... _terrified_ that we're going in too far with dangerous people who can't be trusted." Which he was perfectly capable of doing because, in spite of her calm words, he _was_ still a little worried. But that's what happened when you had a woman, and you were looking at making a family.

Back in the Candy Kingdom, the King of Ooo was just arriving at the capitol's rough airfield for his trip to Jungle Kingdom. Ingrid was in a snit as the group headed out to the airship Nadia arranged for Finn. She was extremely pissed that Fionna had gone to Candy-Town and essentially walled the whole place off, even subdividing portions of the town from each other. Even Bonnie had been shocked by how ruthless the young lady had been. Coming to Fi's defense, Sarah had pointed out that this was the logical course of action given all the parameters. Which ended up being far from helpful as it drew attention back to Patrick's _gift_ , threatening to reignite the previous row in spades. Fortunately, Betty had shut that fight down in short order, pointing out that an _adult_ had made a very _adult_ decision. In point of fact, Fionna was sacrificing to do exactly what the family–and Ooo–needed. So now they were here, with Finn headed out to look for his son. Ingrid was even more unhappy with that, looking rather like she wanted to fight.

Out of the blue, Finn asked, "you sure you want to join in on the fun?" She turned to look at him as he said, "welcome to my life. This is the Finn show. Crazy fights over nothing. Peeps out to hurt you 'cause you know me..." Ingrid stared at him in shock. Finn stopped where he was and turned to face her. Solemnly, he said, "this isn't your kind of war, GP. This is an older, uglier kind. No medals. No glory. They want to hurt people close to me..." "I'm not afraid," the warrior interrupted. "I am," Finn replied. Nodding at her look of utterest shock, Finn said, "they did awful stuff to BP and Toast because they're my friends. What would they do to a wife? Or a girlfriend?"

Ingrid's face went hot, but the King started walking once more. "Keep up the pressure," he said. "Raids. Skirmishes. Have Ragnhild's dudes hit Maudie. But not you, Ingrid. Stay home. Run things while I'm gone." And stay away from risks. As she stared after him, he and Star got on that airship, with the ramp closing after them. In short order, the flying machine set off, leaving the Warrior Princess standing there staring after it. _Why do you hesitate,_ the voice demanded? _He was in your hand._ Turning away, she told the voice, _I'm like the bee. Neither a lover nor simply a friend._ The voice went quietly for once, and for that she was profoundly grateful.

As the airship slowly winged its way out over the open ocean, Finn stood behind the pilots discussing exactly how they were going to do this. He shouldn't be here, and he knew it. This could very well be a trap meant for him. Maja won if she took him out because it was a certainty the fragile coalition he'd built wouldn't hold together past his death. Things were too raw and there were too many personalities involved for that. Someday, if he survived all of this, he would have to put steps in place so that he would have a successor–someone to unite the people of Ooo. In the now, he had to get this done with the minimum of fuss and get back home safely.

"We're not going to have time to hang around," said the big man. "I know Abeiuwa's people have had weapons much stronger than knives and spears for many years now. I don't know what else they have." They could well possess something strong enough to knock down a flying airship. That was the nightmare scenario. Piotr told him, "it comes down to how quickly you can get your son to a clearing, Your Highness. We have the fuel to orbit for a while, and we can land in Engagement Ring Kingdom or Purple Kingdom to refuel if we need to. But you have to get to a clearing. With things stirred up, we dare not land at the main airfield." Finn nodded. He knew that. It would be parachutes for he and Star to even reach the ground. Fortunately, he thought they could get close to Billy to start and then work their way backwards to a clearing from there. The pilot handed Finn a small device, saying, "press the center stud when you've located the target. We can guide you to a clearing." It was as good as they were going to get. It was time to get busy.

Finn wasn't really sure what he was going to do. He only had the vaguest notion that somehow he would know where Billy was when he was close enough. Part of it was the dream. He remembered the dream of Emeraude telling him that she could help him find his missing son. It was thin material to rely on, and he knew it. Honestly, he'd kept the whole business a secret from the others, avoiding the fight that would certainly have come if he told them about his plan. As the plane got closer and closer to the southern jungles, the big man began to get a growing sense of some nebulous _something_ at the edge of his senses.

Frowning, Finn focused on that vague sensation, and that seemed to amplify it somehow. "Turn," said he, almost before he realized he was speaking. "A little bit to the east," he said. The copilot looked at his boss. Piotr looked at Finn, then, with a shrug, gave the order. In short order the plane was banking to the left, heading slightly east of where the known airfields were in Jungle Kingdom. As the minutes crawled by, Finn slowly refined that vague direction. Moment by moment, he issued corrections, slowly vectoring them onto a line that was headed north and east, towards the coast of the wild jungle lands. They passed within a few miles of the airfield that Piotr's people typically stopped at, finding the place crawling with soldiers and even finding that the field had been sown with obstacles to keep airships away. "Not landing there," rumbled the pilot.

It took just over an hour of the plane slowly circling for Finn to finally pinpoint the exact spot. The moment he did, he was striding for the rear ramp. Star was waiting there already, and she handed him one of the parachutes. As he strapped the heavy canvas bag onto his back and fastened the straps about his legs, the big man gave Piotr explicit instructions. And then he and his daughter stepped into the air over Jungle Kingdom, falling swiftly away from the airship. It had been recommended that they wait on opening their parachutes, both to guarantee they would arrive close to the target and to avoid attracting notice from the locals. Now Finn did his best to judge just how long they should wait. The ground was coming up awful fast.

Holding onto her father's hands, Star Mertens' calm expression belied the terror in her heart. She wanted to live. She wanted babies like Fionna and Bon and Marshall had. She wanted to be there spoiling their younger siblings rotten. The absolute last thing she wanted was to die impaled on a tree or splattered on the ground in this fucking miserable place! Closing his eyes, Finn nodded at her. It was time. Then, releasing each other, they both grabbed for the handles of the parachutes. The shock of opening rattled the little wood-nymph's teeth. Minutes later, a harder shock came as she smacked hard into one of the trees. This was the suck part. They'd both been warned.

As Star slid down that massive tree, the 'chute got swiftly tangled and began to tear. Faster and faster she went down, smashing little branches and bouncing off larger ones, getting the worst of the exchange by far. Finally the tangle of cloth and cord dragged her to a halt fifty feet from the ground. It was far from optimal, but she was prepared for that. Drawing a dagger, the little woman jabbed it into the side of the tree, using magic to bury the steel deep. Then, hanging from that, she drew a second dagger and swiftly cut the harness loose from her body only managing to nick herself once. After that, it was a swift climb to the ground.

She was on the surface only a moment when a massive creature, looking like a giant humanoid with orange-yellow fur–like cheesy-sauce from the Squeezy-Mart–came tearing out of the jungle. Her hand reached for her spell-darts and came up with a handful of air. As her eyes searched this way and that, the beast crossed the distance in two strides, raising its massive arms to pound her into the turf. And that was when her dad clove the thing straight in half at mid-torso, spraying her with gore. "Phftt," she spat, "thanks a bunch, daddy." It was half-measures of irritation and gratitude both. The big man pointed at her equipment belt, just now snagged on the tree she'd fallen down. "Let's go," he said. "It's not far now."

He could hear the tugging and feel the sound of someone's voice as he led his daughter up and down through the jungle. His head turned this way and that, and he seemed to Star almost to be _listening_ to something only he could hear. She was doing her best to watch his back, when she wanted to be terrified that there was more shit out there like that monster. She'd heard stories about Jungle Kingdom, and she was horrified that Billy was here somewhere alone and in trouble. "How much farther, daddy," she asked? It seemed nearly miraculous that he had any idea at all where Bill was, but it was taking far longer than she liked to find her brother. Finn held up a hand for silence. And that was when they heard the shouts.

The pair of heroes, father and daughter, went tearing through the jungle, leaping over bushes and ducking under low branches, sprinting all out. In the end, Finn dropped back, snatched Star off her feet, and went tearing along with the awful power of the Quicksilver Curse. Star, who'd only felt that terrible sensation _once_ in her life, found herself shrieking in almost panic. It shocked her that her father and sister experienced this every moment of every day and managed to remain sane through it all. Not that she got all that long to contemplate the enormity of the Curse. Finn came to a stop in the blink of an eye, and Star barely had a moment to get her bearings before they were in the soup.

There were two dozen Jungle Guard in the clearing, and they were in a three-way battle against three of those orange behemoths, and a clearly deranged Billy. He was shirtless, and his pants were little better than rags. Dirty and covered in scratches and wounds, he looked much like he'd been fighting a titanic battle to the death. All day. As Star watched, one of the Jungle-dudes leveled his spear-gun at Billy and let fly. The ice-wizard conjured a wall of hardened ice that still very nearly shattered upon impact, peppering the wizard with pieces of ice and bits of steel. It was clear that his powers were weakened here.

Finn rushed in and cut down the Jungle Guard, severing both arms and grabbing his weapon before it hit the ground. He promptly turned the spear-gun on the other men, shooting down two before hurling the spear through the heart of a third. Star turned her attention to the yellow-orange titans. A spell-dart pulped one. She crippled a second with a lightning bolt. Her brother skewered the third with a massive ice-spear. Any thoughts of a happy family reunion got put on hold though as the madman charged _her_. A surprised Star merely stood there staring until Finn shoved her out of the way.

The Jungle Guard fired at Billy once again, and Finn rushed up, caught one of the javelins in mid-flight, before hurling it back at its firer, killing him stone dead. Shaking off her surprise, Star got another of the Jungle dudes with a lightning bolt and then a third with a dart. Billy went on a tear, ripping through the pack with his fists covered in massive ice-blades that drove straight through a pair of them and lopped limbs and heads off two more. That pretty much did for the courage of the remnant, who tucked tail and ran as if the Night-O-Sphere was chasing them. When the madman turned on his own relatives, a whistle from the jungle stopped him in mid-stride.

Star turned to find Abeiuwa the Jungle Princess coming out of the cover of the brush. She came battered and scratched and wearing the tattered remnants of her clothing as if she'd gotten a thorough beating of her own. Rushing over to her, Billy got down on his hands and knees and nuzzled her hand. "Ok," muttered Star, "what gives?" "Poisoned," sighed Abeiuwa. "Both of us. Wildberry's doing. Stroking his face, she said, "his mind is trapped in there. This is what's left." Frowning, Finn said, " _you_ are what I felt..." Striding towards her, the big man reached out and grabbed her left hand. Billy would have attacked him, but the princess hushed him. As Finn examined her hand, sure enough there was a shard of the grass-sword sticking out. "Huh," said Abeiuwa. "I felt something when we were being poisoned, but I had no idea what it was. I think it saved me..." Star interrupted, "save the Q &A. We gotta' scoot. Daddy? Better call our ride."

Shaking off his shock, Finn did just that. While they waited, he paced out the perimeter of the jungle, on guard against any more monsters. Billy sat there, eyes vacant, looking like his soul was gone. Star did her best not to lose it at the sight of that. A part of her would have committed murder against whoever had done this. Thirty minutes later, Piotr was hovering over the clearing, lowering ropes. It took a little coaxing for Billy to allow himself to be harnessed up–time they really didn't have with the Jungle Guard returning in force. In the end, Star knocked the big man unconscious with a potent sleep-spell, enabling them to haul him up and tie him to a bench. As a hundred of Abeiuwa's countrymen stormed the clearing, the airship soared up and away, flying well out of reach.

Hours later, the airship came floating down out of the sky in the Candy Kingdom to find a small fleet of vehicles waiting. The minute the ship was on the ground and the ramp down, Drew Mertens moved in with a small army of nurses and doctors scooping up Billy and Abeiuwa both and hauling them off in a pair of ambulances. Nor did Star escape attention. After the bashing she'd gotten landing in the trees, Drew insisted on taking her too. Finn rode back to the palace with Betty.

"Does Ragnhild know," he asked? "Yeah," sighed Betty. "Lollipop's looking after her. She's... about how you'd expect." "And Simone," he asked? "She's tough, Finn," Betty replied. "It's hurting her, but she's putting her energy into trying to figure out how to reverse whatever this was." "Where do we stand," he asked? "Still quiet in Candy-Town," Betty replied. "We've had a couple of fires started by oil lamps and candles, but the Tesla Barrier's holding. They... they haven't tested it." "She won't," Finn replied. "This is a chess game for her. Move countering move until she can corner me where I can't get out." Betty knew who _she_ was. It didn't seem there was anything she could really say to that. Moving on, she said, "Fi told me what you said, Finn. You need to stop beating yourself up..." "Maybe," he replied. "No, maybe, baby," Betty told him. "We still depend on you. Now more than ever before. You're going to figure this out, honey. I know you will."

Back at the palace, the pair separated, with Betty getting back to the work of helping Sarah and Bonnie down in the lab. Finn went up to his office, picked up the phone, and summoned Beemo. While he waited for the game-bot to get off his butt, quit screwing around with whatever he was messing with, and get up there, the big man sat down to do some deep, deep thinking. While he was at that, Ingrid came in. She looked relieved as she crossed the room. Finn held her off for a moment, as he wrote down some of what he was thinking about. Then, when he was ready, he motioned for her to come forward.

"Hey, babe," he greeted her. To her surprise, he offered her a peck on the lips–a great change from before. "Listen," he said. "I'm gonna' be busy, and Peebles is tied up in the dungeon. I need you to keep things going." She was rather quickly frowning again. Seeming to be oblivious to that, Finn said, "I need you to keep Ragnhild busy with outreach. Keep her on the phones talking with the other princesses trying to get them off the fence. Keep the war-effort going. Keep hitting Maudie and Wildberry and Blargetha when you've got the time and resources." "And you," she demanded? It sounded suspiciously like he was brushing her off–sending her far away in spite of what he'd just done. Calmly, Finn said, "I'm gonna' be trying to figure out Maja." Which made no sense at all.

Beemo came in just then. Finn turned to the game-bot and said, "I need a computer sim, Beemo..." He showed the little guy his sketch. To Ingrid it looked rather like a very elaborate chess set. At her questioning look, the big man said, "this is how she thinks. The world is a game of chess, and the people she faces are pieces on the board. I need to figure out where she's going to strike next. You keep her occupied. Keep up our defense." Nodding, Ingrid turned to go, but Finn stopped her. Voice calm and level, he said, "remember, GP. Stay home. Wildberry's a shit, and she won't hesitate to do something awful to you if she has you in her hands even once. I... can't risk that. I've seen too many of my peeps hurt as it is." Impulsively, she hugged him, and when he returned that embrace, she pressed her warm, almost-feverish body against his. Catching her lips with his, she gave the game-bot a show that had his beady little eyes growing big as saucers.

Breaking that kiss, Ingrid said, "a token... of future delights..." "...when peeps aren't tryin'a kill us," Finn agreed. An evil grin blossoming on his face, he grabbed a big handful of her ass when she turned to go. The big man chased the tall princess around the room twice before she was finally able to get the door open and get out. Beemo was watching him when he returned to his desk. "What," he asked? "N-nothing," Beemo stammered.

While they were working on his Maja-simulation, Breakfast came through the door. A surprised Finn practically shot to his feet. Brown eyes shadowed by sadness, his dear old friend came up to his desk and stopped just out of reach. "Hi, Beeps... I...," he started. She put a report on his desk, saying, "I went down and looked at the inventory of food available. I put together some basic nutrition tables for the people who are isolated from food supplies. Nadia believes her people can deliver the minimums to sustain them... For about six months... You... have that long to fix this, Finn..." A startled Finn asked, "does this mean...?" "I'm Minister of Sustenance, Your Highness," she said. "I... failed you. From now on, I'm going to endeavor to meet my commitments." "Beeps, I...," he started to say, but she turned on her heel and left him. Angry and sad all over again, the big man went straight to his desk, picked up the phone and made a phone call.

It took a fair bit, but the call eventually went through. "Hey, Zap," said he. "Do you remember me?" As Beemo watched, the big man said, "yeah, man. I'm... I'm not happy about Kim and Trudy either. Yeah... they didn't know when to quit it, but I'm still sorry to see them gone. No, you're right. I didn't call for that. I called for information." There was a pause, and Finn was clearly listening. The man on the other end of the line didn't sound happy. "It's pretty simple, Zap," he said. "I'm King of Ooo. You're a subject of one of my subordinate kingdoms. I'm going to ask for information, and you have two choices from here. You can give me what I want, or the Flame King can _make_ you give me what I want." There was another long pause, though much less volume from the other end of the line. Calmly, Finn said, "you're still in tight with mercenaries. If Kim and Trudy were broke, that says you're probably not doing so hot either. I will pay you twenty-thousand coins to find the names and locations of the men who roughed up Breakfast and Toast Princess. You'll probably need to go in with one of the merc units. I'll pay for any other information you come up with. Clear? Good. Cash will be on the way tomorrow morning. Leave word with my secretary when you're ready." The big man hung up, then turned back to Beemo. "Ok, pal," he said. "Let's play."


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32:

Ragnhild was slumped against the candy-steel barrier when Finn came on the scene. Dressed as she was–in a robe and nightgown–she'd been here all night. While his son raged and pounded that barrier all night. Scooping her up, the big man carried her into one of the examination rooms and lay her out on a gurney. Returning to the hall outside, he asked, "how long?" "From the moment he woke up," Drew replied. "The only thing that seems to calm him, even for a few moments, is Abeiuwa's presence." Bonnie frowned at that. Star had said that Abeiuwa had some kind of influence over him. They'd been striking out for days trying to restore his sanity. It was time to see what Jungle Princess knew.

The little group went down the hall to one of the of the lab rooms to find Abeiuwa laying up in bed with her left arm hanging in some strange solution in a tub by her bedside. She looked a little better than the bruised and battered _mess_ that they'd found. "I've arrested the growth of the grass-shard in her arm," said Drew. Finn flinched. He hadn't intended that to happen. He'd given Billy the shard on a lark. He knew Abeiuwa liked trinkets and trophies. There weren't many people who said they literally had a piece of him. Simone asked the obvious, "why didn't you take it out?" With a humorless smile, Abeiuwa answered that question herself, "because it may be the only thing maintaining my sanity."

The spores were in her sinuses just like the other specimens. They were bound tight to her olfactory nerve, pumping some sort of neurotoxin into her system. With the last of the poultice gone from her system, she could _feel_ the madness nibbling away at the edges of her mind. Honestly, she likely would have been gone already if not for the grass-sword's strangely soothing influence. Moving in and taking charge, Bonnie asked, "ok. How did you manage to calm William down? He's been trying to get out of that cage since he woke up. He should have torn you to pieces." Abeiuwa's face went red hot. She'd been pretty evasive about the whole business. Now it was time to cut to the chase. "Many lives are hanging on this," said Finn. "I need the answer. Now."

Glancing away, the fallen princess replied, "there are forces just as powerful for the mind as anger and fear. I... appealed to one of them." It took a while. Drew's mouth came open. "Y-you...," she stammered? "I had no choice," muttered the former princess of the southern lands. "He would easily have killed me. He killed a poisoned octopede with no trouble at all. And... I needed a protector. I had no weapons of consequence." Nobody was following that, and Bonnie demanded, "what? What am I missing?" "Sex," muttered Drew. "His higher brain functions were impeded," muttered the princess, "but I guessed that his primeval brain was in control. The primeval brain is also driven by the need to reproduce. I... dosed him with White Passion Flower, guessing that it might... transform one emotion into the other..." The entire room now stood staring at her.

Bonnie babbled, "y-you..." "Abeiuwa's always pretended to be stupid," said Finn. "You fell for it. Now what can we do with this?" Blushing to her hair, Bonnie said, "nothing. I... All she did was find another way to manipulate the Amygdala. We can't doom all those people to spending the rest of their lives screwing. We need a cure. We need to figure out how to remove the spores from the olfactory nerve." "You said something about a poultice," said Drew. Nodding, Abeiuwa replied, "ours is an herbal medicine. We take products of the jungle and manufacture drugs. It took several tries, but I was able to gather some herbs that dulled the madness and let me think. It's worn off by now, though." "But if we isolate what was in the herbs," said Drew, "it would provide at least temporary relief to the victims. Let's start working on that."

Sarah said, "I'm going to go prep the saucer. We have a lot of those plants in the Royal Conservatory, but we don't have everything." As she turned to go, she was overcome by a wave of dizziness. Bonnie's face went red hot, and the whole pack of Finn's ladies glared at her. "Sure," said Bonnie. "You've got my permission. Keys are in my desk drawer." "Thanks," muttered Sarah, as she straightened. Before Finn could go after Sarah, Simone caught him by the shoulders saying, "we need to talk about the Curse, Finn." "Oh," he babbled. "Ok." With a glare for Bonnie, the pale woman led their husband out the door. Nadia growled, "if I had any idea what was in those folders, they'd already be gone. Just you think about what you're doing."

Elsewhere, Ingrid lay on the top of a hill alongside Fionna Mertens, staring down at a castle that looked to have come from a rather dark fairy tale. Just as Finn had ordered, the duo were working over Maudie's domain, meticulously raising hell and terrorizing her peeps. Naturally said peeps were far from happy. They were starting to fort themselves in and shut down the countryside just like Bonnie's peeps had to do. Fionna wasn't excited about doing this. She was a heroine. She much preferred to save people rather than terrorize them. Unfortunately that wasn't in the cards right now. The Peanut-Peeps were heavily involved in causing trouble.

"They're not aware of us," said the Warrior Princess. Fionna grunted in response. They freakin' _should_ be! They'd only flattened four castles in the last six days! Rolling her eyes, Ingrid rumbled, "what's wrong _now_ , Fionna? What don't you agree with _now_?" Fionna didn't agree with her strategy. She disputed the goal, even though that was her father's choice. She even argued about how they carried this whole business forward. It was driving Ingrid to distraction, suggesting as it did that the blond girl's objections were more about _Ingrid_ than the campaign. "They should be pushing back," the bad bunny replied. "This is going too well."

Frowning, Ingrid thought of pushing back. She thought of reminding the younger woman that Maudie was no general. She didn't really know how to manage an army in the field, and while she had lots of numbers, she didn't really have very good weapons for them. The reality of the situation was that this was bothering Ingrid too. Maja seemed much too cagey to be making such obvious mistakes. She was leaving her northern flank wide open. "Alright," muttered the princess. "We'll stop and consolidate after this. Does that make you happy?" "It isn't a question of happiness," Fionna replied. Ingrid flinched. She forgot about the device jammed into the young woman's temple at her peril. Calmly, Fionna laid out all the reasons why this situation was volatile. Even if Maudie was an idiot, she had friends that weren't. "Alright, alright," muttered Ingrid. "We'll stop, consolidate, and do a little intelligence gathering. The important point is pressure, but we can keep that up without pushing too far."

The castle was shaking itself out for the day, with the locals going out to their fields to bring in their harvest for safe-keeping. With so much hardship and starvation in the kingdoms these days, nobody left anything to chance on that front. Rising up, Ingrid straightened her sword belt saying, "let's do this..." Fionna got to her feet too, but her grey eyes were hard as she said, "you stay here." Ingrid retorted, "I lead from the front..." Calmly, Fionna replied, "but they're tugging at daddy's heart-guts by hassling all his old girlfriends. You're not supposed to be going." Ingrid glared at the impertinent wench a moment. Then her face went calm. "And how much more do you suppose a _daughter_ is worth over an old girlfriend?" She had the blond girl there. Fionna sputtered and spluttered, and it seemed for a moment even the wizard's gift couldn't talk her through this one.

"I'm special," Fionna started to say, but Ingrid was already moving. "No more special than your brother," retorted the warrior-woman. It was a low blow considering where Billy was just now, but Ingrid was unrepentant. "If you're coming, come on," said she, as she headed down the hill. Muttering curses, Fionna fell in at her back. The pair of them went strolling across the field with the guards ahead of them staring in puzzlement. They walked right up to the outer wall. "Hey," shouted the guard at the low wall. "Come no closer." Fionna kept right on walking as Ingrid stopped, smiled, and said, "we're two ladies. Traveling south." "I said to stop right there," said the guard, as Fionna got right up on the wall. "We're looking to bed down, but yonder town is empty," said Ingrid. "We're at war," growled the peanut-dude.

Calmly, Fionna placed her hands on the low wall between them, and the whole thing began to crumble down into pebbles and dust. As the shocked guard stared, a third of the wall's length crumbled to nothing. Ingrid turned and motioned for the men up on the hill. Then, as the hapless guard goggled at Fionna, Ingrid casually lopped off his head. Fionna began to walk again, with Ingrid falling in at her back. The guards up on the main wall were panicking right now. The peasants who were in the fields were rushing back to the gate. They weren't going to make it. The most they could do was jam things up and cause confusion.

 _This is too easy,_ thought Fionna. This was their fifth castle. It always went this way, but it was just too easy. As Fionna herself was approaching the gate, the air seemed to shimmer around them. And then they were up to their necks in Rough Beasts and Why-Wolves. "Yup," shouted Fionna. "Too easy." She dodged the flying fists of one of the Beasts as it tried to pulp her there on the spot. Conjuring a glass-blade, she cut his hand off at the wrist before running up the stump and slicing off his head. Doing a neat somersault, she clove a Why-Wolf's arm off at the shoulder before landing with a thump.

"Not bad," said Ingrid. Fionna turned to find her would-be stepmom surrounded. Twirling on her toes like a dancer, the pretty blonde cut down another Rough Beast while she shouted at the princess to move. Ingrid waded right in instead, wielding her sword with a sort of manic precision. Her moves were explosive in speed and fury as she removed arms and legs and skewered Beast and Wolf alike. As the pack of opponents fell, Fionna groused, "you shouldn't be here." "Neither should the King's daughter," retorted Ingrid. "Do we want to argue about who's more valuable–a question I win handily by the way–or do we want to kill monsters? I promise you I can more than hold my own." That sounded suspiciously like a bet. "You're on, ghost-face," growled Fionna.

Fionna, who had a Why-Wolf coming up behind her, spun around, eviscerated him, and kicked the corpse in the boin loins as it was going down. Ingrid kicked a Rough Beast in the knee hard enough to break it, then, as he was going down, she drove a dagger through his left eye before spinning around and whacking the arm off his pal. Seeing that, Fionna redoubled her efforts, finding herself tempted to use her true speed to her advantage. But that wouldn't be a contest. Irritated, she cut a Rough Beast's arms off at the shoulders, then, as his body emptied itself of blood, she bludgeoned a Why Wolf to death with the severed limbs, before hurling one into the face of a Peanut Guard.

" _Creative_ ," shouted Ingrid! Rushing up to a second Peanut-dude, she drove her blades into his chest, hoisted him aloft, and threw him over her head at two of his mates. As a Why Wolf darted at her, she ducked down, scooted between his legs and kicked him into the stunned guards. Fionna finished the pack of them by sending shards of glass shooting up through the ground to impale the squealing, squirming mass. "Get your own," shouted Ingrid, as she moved on to a pair of Rough Beasts! At the edge of the melee, the Banana Guards stopped and stood watching. Turning to Lieutenant Steele, one of them said, "uh, shouldn't we be... you know..." "Nah, man," said the tough banana. "You don't want to get in the way of _that_."

Indeed, as the guards watched, the duo tore through the lycanthropes, the apes, and the peanuts with a terrifying abandon. They were actually flippin' keeping score! All the local lord could do was watch as those terrifying witches tore through his defenses like they were tissue-paper. By the time Ingrid and Fionna were done, the remaining creatures and guards were in full flight, running south and east to get away.

The dynamic duo strode up to the now-closed castle gates, and Fionna shouted up to the lord, demanding that he open the gates to them. "Go away," shouted the peanut-person. "Hey, dummy," shouted the irate blonde! "You think we won't just smash it down?! Open the glob-damned gates..." "O-or what," retorted the peanut! "Or I'll open it myself," retorted the bad bunny! Of course, the skeptical lord had to be _shown_ just what she meant. Calmly striding up to the gate with arrows and steel darts falling around her like rain, Fionna placed her hands against the wall. As Ingrid watched, swatches of glass deflected the worst of the hate directed at Finn's daughter. And then the wall came tumbling down.

As the lord of the castle stared, his entire gate crumbled, stone falling from stone as the mortar crumbled. Aided by the Curse, Fionna dodged out of the way, letting the mass of rock crumble into the castle, knocking down stables and storage rooms. As Ingrid watched, the lord himself went tumbling off the wall as it fell–along with a goodly number of his men. "Oops," said Fi. "Used too much english that time." Giving her shoulder a squeeze, Ingrid said, "it was more entertaining this way."

It didn't take long for news of the pair's latest victory to reach the mistress of the Peanut Kingdom. Maudie, who'd been relatively free of consequences from the war was now watching expensive forts get flattened and crops go rotten in the fields. Now she stormed into Wildberry's office to find the sour berry eating brunch with Bathilde. "That fucking bitch," snarled the fat peanut! Rolling her eyes, Wildberry replied, "lemme guess. Fionna and Ingrid." Again. A very unhappy Maudie told her about the lost castle, the fleeing peasants, and the dwindling food supply.

"I want to see Maja," growled the offended princess. "Those fucking monsters didn't stop them." Bathilde glanced at Wildberry, who sighed heavily. Shaking her head and muttering curses, Wildberry explained, "she's put on that ratty tee-shirt and locked herself in the lab. She's doing _something_ down there. I can feel energy crackling in the walls when I go down and look..." Maudie howled, "that's not enough! They've overrun Ernst's lands already! I need an answer!" Taking a deep breath, Wildberry said, "I've got the terror clones and the War Elephant. We'll start by seeding a few more in Bonnie's towns and cities..."

Maudie was hardly mollified. It wasn't even _close_ to being good enough. She wanted another army, and she wanted it right now! Before Wildberry could answer that demand, her phone rang. Answering, she held up a hand for quiet. For a wonder Peanut Princess was feeling collegial enough to let her answer the phone. It was Sugarlump. "Hey, boss," said the gangster. "Where have you been," demanded Wildberry? Chuckling, the evil half-breed replied, "running down one of those bitches. Figured you'd want that. While we've got her tied up, she can't have her fingers in your business." Frowning now, Wildberry asked, "who?" "Cherry-bitch," replied Sugarlump. "She made contact with some of Marjorie's dudes. Seems she's on the hunt for some missing vamps."

That was _very_ interesting news. Sugarlump explained, "seems Vampire-Boy's honies are missing. Last seen here in Warrior-Bitch's kingdom." Wildberry was on her feet now, demanding, "is she dead?" "Nah," replied Sugarlump. "We're bleedin' her of money. Figure she can help pay for the war. She's got the dosh. Anyways, learned something funny. There's shipments of bodies going north and east. They're snatchin' 'em out of the morgues and funeral parlors..." Which made no sense at all to Wildberry. "Why are we concerned with that," replied the rotten berry? With a heavy, irritated sigh, the gangster reminded her, "because undead have been hitting your border, and you've been wanting to know where it's coming from and why. Seems that these bodies are being dug up official-like and shipped up into that corner of the Kingdom. I'm thinking these two birds are up there makin' up zombies to send across the border. Seems one of them belongs to a pretty important family." Wildberry gasped.

Rogue Ally. It made sense now. Ingrid was the Rogue Ally. She had her hands in something pretty nasty and unsavory. And what would her dear, _sweet_ lover think about this? "We need Finn to get this information," said Wildberry. "You are now forbidden from killing Soda-girl. I want her to find these vampires and see just what they're up to. I want this information in Finn's hands. Only then are you allowed to off her. Get me?" "Yeah," replied Sugarlump. "Got it." Wildberry hung up then. Steepling her hands in front of her, she said, "it appears that Warrior Princess is not above doing underhanded things." Calmly, she related the things Sugarlump had told her, while her two allies listened in shock and horror.

Maudie was terrified of finding undead on her own border, and she wanted to drag Maja out of her lab all the more. Bathilde was quick to see the possibilities though. "This won't see shambling dead on your border, Maudie," she interrupted. As her hair scratched under her arm-pit, the Elbownian pondered that a moment. "No," said she. "This shatters Finn's right flank. He dare not trust this woman. Their offensive will go cold. If he doesn't exile her personally, his other allies will insist on it. This will even strain things with the vampire kingdom. I'm sure this will cause strains between father and son, and it may act as an existential test of their loyalty. This news puts everything in play again."

Down in her laboratory, Maja the Sky Witch sat soaking in the painful emotions contained in the ratty, tatty tee-shirt she wore. Raw as the emotions in that ratty old stuffed toy had been, the tee-shirt was even stronger. Love. Anger. Jealousy. It was all there in an abundance so great that it was nearly overwhelming. She'd been working with the shirt most of the day, organizing her treasures to extract the most energy from them. Starting with a school-girl skirt from her homeland, laying it out on the cold stone floor, she went for a short trip down memory-lane, doing her best not to get caught up in old memories of a forgotten past. On top of that got added the bucket that had led to her exile from the family household. She'd stolen that and very nearly killed her uncle in the process. She piled on the withered limb from a tree–fashioned into the crutch that had helped her cross the wilderness. On top of that went a sprig of holly that had been her first wand.

On and on she went, piling treasures up as she soaked in the pain and anguish and sometimes raw, unfiltered joy that went with each one. Some were past victories. Others were cruel defeats. Some, like the shirt, belonged to other people entirely. On top of that pile, she added the most recent of her treasures. This was a simple card. It was made of cheap card-stock, and it was already fraying at the edges. She'd kept that card in her pocket and looked at it repeatedly the last few weeks. It was a nothing without the magic play-mat where it would be deployed, but just the touch of it sent a shiver up her spine. She felt _him_ when she touched the card. Tall and handsome and virile in spite of his age. Holding the card as she carefully placed it at the apex of the pile, the ancient witch fought to avoid losing herself in the raw emotion in that card. She found herself dancing and talking and playing chess in a whirlwind of memory and emotions until she finally shut the lid on it all. Taking a deep breath, she now whispered a soft incantation.

And then she took the step.

It always came as a shock. Leaving her flesh. Walking in the space between worlds. With the power of those emotions coursing through her soul and the strange undercurrents of the universe pulling her this way and that, the witch began to walk, fighting the urge to drift. This was her sixth attempt in as many days. Soaring through space, she focused her will on the goal. The Fire-Bleeder, like the Sleeper, was hidden. He had been hidden for centuries before she was born. "Where are you," she whispered? She could _feel_ his fire. She could hear his heart beating. Swooping in on the site, she opened her other eyes and found...

"Ok, Beemo," said Finn. "That's sixteen games today. I'm starting to think I'm an idiot." The game-bot chuckled. "You won nine games today, and twelve yesterday," said he. "It doesn't appear that you are a fool at all." But he wasn't getting anywhere in understanding Maja. What did she see in those pieces? He wasn't sure.

The witch came back into herself in a rush, muttering curses. Another failed attempt. She'd gone six for six and ended up at Finn's home three times now. That was becoming annoying. Each time she found it even harder than before to prepare and execute the ritual. The Fire-Bleeder was well-hidden. As the strongest of the Ancient War Beasts, he had always been sought after. Unfortunately, he'd also been very well protected with veils and charms meant to obscure his presence from exactly the sort of thing that Maja was trying to do. Sweating and exhausted from lack of sleep and hunger, the witch tottered to her feet. It was time to find herself in bed for a while, and then she might try raiding the fridge if Wildberry was out.

Back in the Candy Kingdom, Finn watched as Beemo reset the board. While he was thinking his way through the first dozen moves he would make, the door to his little office opened, revealing a bit of a surprise. Toast came in, carrying a platter loaded down with food. "Hey, Finn," she greeted the big man, as she stepped around Beemo. Balancing the platter on the side-table, she laid out savory sausages, hot bacon-pancakes, French-Toast, and a ham-scramble. Finn's stomach noisily reminded him that he'd missed breakfast. Between the unpleasant news about Billy and his meeting with Simone, he'd missed breakfast entirely.

At the same time, he couldn't help remembering his last unhappy encounter with this woman. "I... Uh...," he stammered. "You don't need to be sorry, Finn," she told him. "I laid a lot of heavy stuff on you... I'm... I understand why you got upset..." "It wasn't me that had the right to be upset, Toaster," he burbled. "I... wanted to see you were ok and maybe cheer you up... I blew it, babe. I'm sorry." "Thanks for trying, Finn," she said. "I'm... trying too. I hope you like it." She meant the food. Finn immediately reached for a stack of pancakes, thanking her profusely for looking after him. Toast, though, was already out the door. Setting down the fork, Finn turned and picked up the phone.

His brunch got a little cold as he called around, hunting for Zap. The elemental wasn't at his home in the Fire Kingdom, and he wasn't answering his mobile. Finn was persistent, though. As he dueled Beemo and his own distraction over Toast and Breakfast, the big man kept trying, hunting around until he finally had the mercenary's voice coming to him through the phone. "Hey," he greeted the rogue elemental. "Hey, Finn," replied Zap. "Sorry I got sore last time." "No need to be sorry," Finn replied. "Like I said, I didn't want to do that. Kim and Trudy... were my friends too." Acknowledging that, Zap said, "I got what you wanted. Turns out it didn't take much digging to find it. They're... not being quiet about it." It was clear from his voice that Zap didn't approve, but then Finn knew that mercenaries weren't supposed to 'kiss and tell'. Talking about old jobs got you in trouble. E had told him that once upon a time. "Lay the knowledge on me, man," Finn replied.

As Finn scribbled furiously, Zap laid out for him exactly what had happened, when it happened, who'd given the orders, and why. "Ok," said Finn. "I think we're good. Money's on the way. Get home and stay put." Finn hung up, and, chess game forgotten, he spent a while sitting there staring at the board. Finally, he turned to Beemo and said, "hey, buddy. Take a walk for a minute..." Reaching for the phone, he dialed up Breakfast, who was currently using Cherry's office downstairs in the dungeon. "Hey," he said. "Can you come up? I'm... I got something for you. Yeah, it's... important."

While he waited on his old friend to arrive, the big man paced and worried at his awful situation. He wanted them to be at peace. That was the most important part of this. He wanted Beeps and Toaster to be at peace. He didn't really know any better way than by taking out the shits that had hurt them. He hoped that, in a small way, he could help them move on. As he was making his thirtieth circuit of the little room, knocking at the door announced Breakfast. Returning to his desk, Finn called out, "come in!"

She was dressed in a somber green dress with none of the frills and lace that he was used to, and Finn found his joy at finding the people who'd hurt the two sisters ebbed at little. He could see the pain and sadness in her eyes, and it made him angry and sad. "Your Highness," she greeted him as she strode up to his desk. Finn did his best not to flinch when she said that, but it was a near impossible task. He'd done little rehearsing of what he was going to say at this moment. His primary concern had been to find the men responsible. Now he was somewhat at a loss. The two found themselves standing there staring at each other for a long, uncomfortable moment. When the moment dragged on a little too long, the big man finally found his tongue.

Softly, Finn told her, "I found the guys who hurt Toast. They're gonna' die." The way he said that... It sent a shiver down Breakfast's spine. Part of her rejoiced in that. She wanted her sister's abusers to suffer _unimaginably_. At the same time, she knew that sentiment was wrong, and Finn was in real danger of losing who and what he was. Taking his face in her hands, the beautiful princess leaned forward and planted a kiss on either cheek. "It is beneath the dignity of the king to seek vengeance," she said, "even for those he cares for." Finn's face flushed, and he looked away. Stepping back, the proud princess told him, "you have other business to finish, Your Highness. I'll... leave you to it." As she turned to go, she glanced back over her shoulder and said, "thank-you, Finn. It... still means a lot to us."

A disheartened and uneasy Finn returned to his endless round of chess games. He'd checkmated Maja's faction over and over again. Nothing they had on their side seemed to alter the outcome of the game no matter what strategy Beemo played. He was no closer to an answer than before. Pacing around the room, he puzzled at that. The game said that Maja's faction didn't have anything to take them out of the stalemate. _And that's your answer, bud,_ he thought. None of the conventional weapons they had would break the stalemate. But Darren the Sleeper would have. Or something very like him.

Stepping out in the hall, Finn told Beemo, "I think I'm done playing the game for a bit, bud. You can go hang out..." Leaving Beemo in the hall, he headed straight for the stairs down to the dungeon. He'd promised himself not to go down. He'd told himself that he'd just been in PB's way. She, Bon, and Sarah were working the problem of Wildberry's evil pollen, and they didn't need the likes of him getting underfoot with stupid questions and endless stupid attempts to _help_. Now he had to disturb at least one and maybe even two of the team. Simone and Bets had the knowledge he needed. He knew Darren and the War-Elephant were two of a _set_ of such powerful creatures. Question was, were there more still around? And where could they be found?

Striding into the lab, he found the gang gathered around the twisted sandwich-cookie on the gurney. The candy-person was foaming at the mouth and looking rather like a rabid animal. "Well," sighed Bonnie, "that didn't work." Striding into the circle, Finn asked, "how's it going?" With a sigh, Bon replied, "we tried to synthesize some of the ingredients that Abeiuwa described, father. It looks as though our synthetic equivalents don't quite work right..." Sarah rolled her eyes. She'd been itching to get under way for hours now. "Ok," said Bonnie. "I guess we try it your way now." Sarah, who was sporting a flight-suit, now gave her creator a jaunty salute that showed just how well the pair were getting along just now–which was to say not at all. Spinning on her heel, the android-girl stepped off, briefly stopping to give Finn a hot kiss before going.

As Bonnie pouted in jealousy, Finn turned to his first wife and said, "hey, babe. I... uh... I figured Maja out. I figured out what she's doing. I need to know if the Wizard's Library can tell us where to find the remaining War-Beasts." Every face there was focused on him with laser-sharpness. "She can't win," sighed Finn. "Not this way. She's gonna' need a weapon. Something stronger even than Darren." That news went over about as well as he'd been expecting. Now every face turned to the wizards. Simone frowned a moment, and Finn knew she was dredging up old memories. He didn't like to make her do that.

In the strange screechy-cackling voice of the Ice Queen, she declared, "there were two monsters stronger than Darren, Finn. One is Adler, the Bear of the North. The second is Suleiman the Fire Bleeder." Betty put a hand to her shoulder, and Simone shook off that strange stupor with a shudder of revulsion. She didn't like those memories at all, and she'd been happy to leave them buried. "Suleiman was the most powerful of the War Beasts, Finn," she said. "Even the wizards that created them were terrified of him. He's buried. Some say to the east and south of Aysun's Emerald Kingdom in the trackless deserts there." Nodding, Finn said, "we better be prepared to go there. Maja's going all in. I can sense it."

Simone's eyes flicked to the madman on the table, and everyone knew what she was thinking. That was her son. Her son was frothing at the mouth in madness like this wretch. She would rather have been _here_ , looking for cures. But the world needed something different. Finn was right. If Maja was going to conjure another Ancient War Beast, they better be ready to stop her. "I'll... I'll get on my way to Wiz City right now," she said. "I'll hit the library. There're archives only available to the Grand Master. There may be something there." Turning to Betty, the Grand Master said, "come along, momma. Two sets of eyes are better than one." She was going all in too. Indeed, as the pair hit the door, she was already on the phone to Patrick, suggesting he meet them at the entry. Moving on, Finn told the others, "keep trying, guys. I'm'a try and get the guards out hunting to see if they can find whichever Berry-person's spreading this filth. If we can nab them, we're good at least for a while." The danger against Candy-Town would abate.

Finn headed out, finding Star in the former security office doing her best to keep a lid on the burgeoning climate of violence in the Candy Kingdom. He wasn't entirely sure what he was going to do, but something needed to be done to stave off a bigger explosion than the ones they'd already seen. He was proud of Star, and he found himself standing in the doorway staring at her as she worked. Every time he looked at her, he saw echoes of her mother and a little of himself. In snarky tones, the little wench asked, "are you going to stand there staring at me all day, daddy? Or are you coming in?" Blushing a little, Finn stepped into the office.

The little woman barely looked up from her work. She'd had to get herself used to that. It was becoming annoyingly commonplace. Maybe it was the crisis. Maybe it was all the stuff they'd all, collectively, been through these last couple years. All the 'rents were doing it now, and it was driving her and Fionna collectively up a wall. They would all just stick their heads in the door or slip up on you while you were working. And they'd just _stare_. And, crazily enough, it was Cherry who was the worst about it. "Sorry, babe," her father said, as he squatted down next to her. "I... kinda' get that way. You know I love you, right?"

Star put on a glum look. She was thinking of Billy. "Is it always going to be like this," she asked? She didn't really like the reminder of what they were faced with. "Not if I have a say, babe," he replied. "Put down the fucking Lich. Now we're gonna' put down Wildberry and Maja." Taking her hand, he gave it a squeeze. "Give your old dad a break," he said. "This is hard for me too. You'll understand when you've got a kid of your own." Nodding, she promised to be a little more understanding. "We're gonna' go out looking," he said. "Get your dudes fitted up with gas masks. We're gonna' do a block-by-block search of Candy-Town." Ironically, Fionna had greatly helped them with that by subdividing the town's neighborhoods from each other. That gave them a chance of locking things down and keeping the problem from becoming a serious problem.

Father and daughter took a long drive out to Candy-Town with a large number of Star's troops on hand for the occasion. Riding beside his kid, Finn took the time just to talk and share some of what was on his mind. They didn't get to do that much anymore. In a time not long past, he did it every chance he got. He would often take one or the other of his son or his little girls with him, sometimes even when he was working. He had lots to say to Star today. Unlike Billy and Fionna, she'd had trouble almost from the first managing love and relationships. There had been a time where it seemed like everybody in creation was chasing Billy and Fi. Once upon a time, Star refused to sit still for a talk like this. Awkward about herself and her sexuality, she wasn't up for confronting the truth. Now she was older, wiser, and actually open.

"Dudes have real problems figuring out girls," said the big man. "We're supposed to be out here running down girls to jump on like dogs athe meat-market, but problem is that's only part of the story." Frowning up at him, the little woman asked, "what does that mean?" With a shrug, Finn said, "figured out early on with Bonnie that... well... I kinda didn't bring her much of anything... I mean... what guy do you get for the girl who has everything." Now she gave him a suspicious look. Face gone thoughtful, he said, "when you're a dude, it's easy to see a woman as having the whole world in her hands. Anything she wants can be hers. Prettier she is, the easier it is to see her with a prince on her arm instead of you." "You mean Thor," she rumbled. "I mean every dude's ever lived, Star," he replied. "And girls are pretty hard to read. You don't know if you're making it work, or if she's three seconds from bored."

Frowning, Star said, "I... you... I don't need a prince." "Tell _him_ that, Star," said Finn. "Dude's running around trying to earn a name because he wants to be worthy of the one and only Star Mertens–the woman who beat half a Lich." "He's an idiot," she groused. "I... never asked for anything." "All dudes are dumb that way, then," retorted Finn, "because Bonnie never really _asked_ anything either." As she stared at him, he said, "girls don't ask with their vocal-cords, Star. It's in the way you move. The way you carry yourself. Like you're _somebody_ instead of a piece of meat worth a few pennies a pound." Hugging herself, as she thought about that, the little woman finally asked, "daddy... I... How do I make him understand...?" "You make him feel wanted, Star," Finn replied. "Your mom had that whole bitchy thing going, and there were moments I was two hot seconds from punching her lights out. But she made feel _wanted_. Sometimes when it didn't even feel like Simone wanted me." Star nodded, and he could tell she was at least _thinking_ about things.

The big man let her alone to think, only bothering to speak when she had a question or an idea to try out on him. Finn did his best to answer her until they rolled up at last on the outskirts of Candy-Town. Standing before the steep walls that Fionna had erected, Star whistled, "not bad, big sister. If that doesn't keep the problems out, I don't know what will..." Finn wished he could be as confident as she was. Shaking his head, he drew on the gas mask and said, "let's get at it."

The King and his soldiers went through the length of the town, going from neighborhood to neighborhood, finding Fionna had isolated them all, slicing and dicing the town into sections of no more than a few thousand of souls at the most. She'd been shockingly thorough, and both father and daughter found themselves whistling in amazement again and again and again. Honestly, Finn found himself a little overwhelmed. It was perilously like his own experience with the Quicksilver Curse. Fionna had given herself to the dueling forces warring for control of her body. He wasn't happy about that. He'd gotten himself out of the habit of crying about it–at least where Fionna could hear. After all, Betty was right. His daughter _had_ made a gutsy, grown-up decision. She was a woman now, and he could see that. At the same time, he mourned the child he'd lost because Fionna would never be a little girl again.

In the end, after a day of searching high and low and questioning random peeps in every neighborhood, they came to the conclusion that there were no Berry-people here. Certainly there were no humanoid berries like Wildberry herself. The town was as safe as it was going to be. As the sun sank below the horizon, Finn and his daughter pulled up to the gates of the palace, feeling worn and exhausted but oddly delighted. They had time now. They had time to get their arms around this problem. Star had even stopped being so upset about Billy. Finn had reminded her, as they climbed up and down stairs in a run-down triplex, that they already had two of the three conditions needed to restore her brother to health. They had the man himself home, safe and sound, and they now knew what was ailing him. From there, Bonnie, Sarah, and Bon would eventually find a cure. It was a just a question of time. The pair separated at the entry, Star heading off to get some grub before crashing, and Finn heading straight up to bed. They'd both been grinding a little too hard lately. It was time for some much-needed rest.

On the far side of the country, Ingrid the Warrior Princess returned from taking a bath in the icy river with a smile on her lovely face. She'd made inroads today with her most implacable foe. Strangely enough, her _rivals_ never seemed to have a care or concern that she was trying to slip into Finn's bed. It hardly seemed that they spent any time thinking about it at all. The problem was the kids. Specifically none of them really seemed to trust her. They all spent an inordinate amount of time giving her the stink-eye. Fionna was the harshest critic of the bunch, seeming as though she _never_ cut Ingrid any slack.

Until today.

They'd had a grand time smashing the castle, laying out the defenders, and putting any survivors to flight. Fionna had lost herself in the joy of honest battle, and that had been the chance Ingrid needed. The younger woman had her guard down, letting the princess appear unthreatening. They'd laughed and shit-talked the whole way through, and they'd ended up having dinner together and even having a bath after the fact. It was important to the young bunny-girl to maintain her cred as a fighter, and bathing in icy water was a _challenge_ she couldn't really resist. She'd managed to get through the whole thing without screaming more than once. Now Ingrid was ready for bed. There had been no dreams the last couple of nights, and she was hoping that the voice was gone for a while. She was making progress, and she thought she might try and win Fionna to her side. If they _both_ tried to convince Finn, he might listen.

As Ingrid dried her hair and considered how to drag the pretty blonde around to her viewpoint, the infernal phone thing she'd had built began its annoying chiming. Irritated, the blonde very nearly smashed it. Instead, she went striding across the room to the side-table and flicked it on, snarling, "what is it?" "Apologies, Excellency," said Kurja. "This couldn't wait for morning..." "Kurja," she breathed. Snatching up the suddenly-dangerous gadget, she flicked it off speaker. "What is it," she asked? Voice calm, belying the danger he'd discovered, the ghoul replied, "there is a problem with the food shipments..."

As ominous as those words were, the story he told–of a certain pretty princess sniffing around the shipments–was utterly terrifying. She was at dreadful risk of being found out. What Cherry learned, Finn soon heard about. Just when she was finally making progress towards seducing him, Cherry's _investigation_ threatened to unravel the whole thing. "Shut down the shipments," she told him. "Do it now!" Mildly, the ghoul replied, "I did that yesterday. Yet, the infrastructure is still there..." Meaning there was a trail still to follow.

Now Ingrid began to pace once more. So long did she remain silent that the ghoul was forced to comment, asking, "are you _there_ , milady?" "Yes, yes," she muttered. "Keep monitoring the problem. I'll return as soon as I can..." As she hung up, Fionna's voice announced, "trouble?" She was at the door in a robe. The princess felt a shiver of fear. How much had the girl heard? Calming herself, she said, "problems back in my kingdom. Trouble up on the frontier. I'm going to have to head back and look in on it. You understand." Nodding, as she stepped into the room, Fionna said, "ok. We can get one of the Grid-Face people to take us over there."

That calm statement sent yet another shiver up Ingrids spine. What was she playing at?! Had she heard some of the conversation? Walking past the princess, Fionna said, "they're tryin' to hurt people close to daddy. We should stick together. Safety in numbers." As Ingrid listened in wonderment and no little fear, the leggy blonde girl suggested they hook up with her 'wicked stepmomma' and work together. "Yes, yes, of course, Fi," replied Ingrid, as she puzzled at what to do with this development.

Back in the Candy Kingdom, Finn lay sleeping, taking the chance to get a good night's sleep after all the trials and reverses of the past months. He'd been grinding hard, trying to keep everything together, and it wasn't only his job that was kicking his butt. Eleven wives was hard work, and though he loved them all with every fiber of his being, he wouldn't really have done this again. Just now he was getting something of a break. Simone and Bets were in Wiz-City, Cherry was in the Warrior Kingdom, Phoebes was stuck at home and preggers besides, Drew was working, and Lollipop had the kids. That left Nadia, Bonnie, and Sarah all down in Bonnie's lab, working on a cure for the madness afflicting Billy and Abeiuwa. Finn was alone in his bed for the first time since his return from exile.

He was dreaming again. Strangely enough, Emeraude was trying to tell him something, but he was having trouble following her words. As he lay there muttering in his sleep, the door to his room eased open. He was dimly aware of someone coming in, and his groggy mind wanted to suggest it was Cherry coming across the room to him even though they hadn't heard from the Mafia Princess in days. He felt the bed move, but E was shouting at him about Wildberry and Abeiuwa. It was the taste of maple-syrup that woke him from his half-dream. Wide awake, he sat up to find his old flame sitting on his thighs, wearing precious little. "Please don't send me away," pleaded Breakfast. "I need you, Finn. I don't want to be alone."

Finn slipped his arm around her shoulder and let her cry on him. "Of course you can stay," he said. Holding her as she cried, he whispered soothing words. "Beeps," he breathed. "You've always been my good friend. Our kids are married to each other!" That made her laugh. "That would have been incest if I'd gotten my way," she sighed. That idea made him blush. At the same time, what she was suggesting reminded him that they'd come very close to going all the way back in the day. Between his hormones and her fast and loose behavior, it was a wonder they didn't have a whole pile of kids between them while they were still teens. Just the thought of that moment caused his flashlight to spring to life in sudden, vibrant glory.

"Wow," said Breakfast, "you _do_ remember..." In spite of his regrets about his current situation, all rational thought fled his mind when Breakfast suddenly turned and went down on him. "Beeeeps," he howled as she engulfed his dong with her warm, wet mouth. His temperature climbed a couple of notches to red-hot, his heart-rate shot up, and he could hear and feel his heart thumping in his chest as the pale-haired woman did her best to swallow him whole. Squirming on the bed, hands clawing at the sheets, he admonished her to quit it. He all but begged. Breakfast wasn't having any of that.

Taking the chance to get a breath, she said, "I can see you like it. Why stop now?" Finn tried to stammer excuses about being married, but she merely laughed at him before swallowing his meat-cicle again. "I-I'm gonna'," Finn howled. She began to toy with his balls, teasing and scratching at them with her too-sharp nails while she ran her tongue delicately along his length. Hips jumping, he shot off. With a layer of his egg-white on her face, Breakfast Princess giggled at him. "Wow," she said, licking her lips in a nasty move that shocked him. "It's still hard as a pipe. Are you sure you're bangin' all those girls? I mean, I'd think this would be all drained." Finn didn't say a word. He didn't dare.

"Here," she said, as she climbed up over him. "Maybe this'll help." Finn groaned as she eased her hot snatch down his thickness. "Beeps," he wheezed. "I... this... We shouldn't..." Chuckling, Breakfast said, "why not? They let all those others..." Her hips began to move, sliding her hot oven up and down his pole. Periodically she would stop and grind her hips against his, feeling his length stirring her insides. Moaning softly in desire, she said, "what could be wrong with this? You said you love me, Finn." "Babe," he babbled. "Our kids... Our kids're married..." Breakfast snorted, "you're fucking your mother-in-law, Finn. You've got a kid by her. What could be weirder than that?"

Finn gave up. It wasn't like he wasn't enjoying this. Throwing BP on her back, he caught her perky right booby with his mouth and began licking and biting at it. "Shiiit," she wailed. "You remember!" He hadn't forgotten what she liked. Honestly, he'd stroked it a time or two thinking about making out with her when he was seventeen. BP wrapped her slim legs around his waist as he began to pork her good. Her hips rose to meet his every time he drove forward. Her hands pulled on his butt, urging him on as they became one big nasty.

She teased him with dirty thoughts, suggesting maybe she wasn't on the pill. She suggested maybe he was pumpin' up her belly with his kid. The thought sent a shiver of lust up his spine causing him to go faster as he screwed the shit out of his old flame. She suggested maybe he could give her a boy to go with her daughter. Biting on his shoulder as she went sailing over the edge, she told him how much she wanted that.

Barely in control now, Finn sat up and began bouncing her on his lap. His hands squeezed that still-hard butt of hers as he banged her good. Reaching down, she scooped a little of his goo off her chest and licked it off her fingers, which was so nasty he almost shot off right there. Moaning and howling, Breakfast wriggled her hot body against his, coating him in some of his own stuff. Nasty as anything, the wench began to tease him some more, asking if Bon was built like him and telling him how her daughter had been walking bow-legged when the candy-prince got done with her. That was too much. Finn lost it, then, shooting off like a rocket. The breakfast treat squealed at the sudden heat as Finn fell over on his back.

Laying there with his arms around BP's shoulders, Finn found himself feeling like an idiot. E was probably going to wring his neck. To say nothing of Ingrid. What the hell was he going to tell _her_? And at the same time, he was _still_ ambivalent about Ingrid. He still found himself wondering what her game really was and what it had to do with Maja and Wildberry. But they were here now, weren't they? What was he going to do? Tell Beeps to fuck off? He'd sworn to Drew that he would be there to support the sisters. He just hadn't figured on this being part of it.

 **Sorry, guys. It was 60Deg F (in February) this past weekend. I cannot tell a lie. I was much more interested in going outside than in working on this story. Soooo, two days later than planned.**


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33:

"What're you two doing here," demanded Cherry? She sounded irritated. Fionna, irrepressible as ever, replied, "ghost-face here had some stuff needed doing. "We're hookin' up with you so we have safety in numbers..." Skipping nary a beat, the bad bunny moved in and helped herself to breakfast. "There are some grave-robbers acting in my kingdom," said Ingrid. "I've been receiving reports of men emptying graves and charnel houses and transporting the bodies to the wild-lands. I fear they mean to raise an army of undead to oppose my rule..." Cherry's eyebrow went up a notch. That was interesting news. Which was to say, it sent her suspicions of Ingrid the Warrior Princess climbing precipitously.

"We're working with some people," said the crime-boss. "They're dangerous and not at all friendly. You can't be seen with us. Not right now." Fionna replied, "we'll stay out of your hair. Ghost-face still needs to do her own stuff, but I'll be watching." Which did little to mollify the crime-lord, but there seemed no way to send these two away. More to the point, Cherry now found herself wondering just what the angle was here. She starts to uncover evidence that powerful people were moving bodies to make undead, and suddenly Ingrid's in her business. It didn't meet the smell test. "Alright," said she. "Our next meeting's in two hours. You two need to make yourselves scarce." Fionna gave her a mock salute.

Back home in the Candy Kingdom, Finn the King lay snoozing with his latest conquest–though it felt more like she'd done the conquering. He'd spent a good chunk of the night trying to figure out how to get out of his latest mess. It was a certainty that Breakfast wasn't going to be happy with just the one time. They never were. Adding spice to the drama was his fears over the various reactions he was going to get. He was terrified of what Drew and Ingrid especially were going to do. He was supposed to be helping Beeps and Toaster cope, not screwing the shit out of one them. And Ingrid would be justified in smashing his nads for letting Beeps crowd the line.

When he wasn't laying awake pondering what to do with this development, he dreamed about it. Finn had dreamed of Ingrid chasing him with an axe. He'd dreamed of Drew dribbling him around her office–an especially vivid dream after the time she wrapped a pair of crutches around his neck. He sometimes still thought he felt a knot on his head from that incident. And of course there was Emeraude. There was no love lost between E and Breakfast, and he feared that she'd want to leave rather than deal with this. Now as he lay half-awake, half-dreaming, a sardonic voice announced that he was out of time to figure out what to do.

" _Well_ ," opined Sarah, "isn't _this_ cozy?!" Finn sat up with a start to find the android-girl sitting there at the end of the bed. His sitting up woke Breakfast, who scooted away from Sarah's leering face. Calmer now, Finn said, "judging by the fact you're up here and not in the lab, either you've made progress or we've had a setback." Smiling sweetly, Sarah replied, "would I be here if I didn't have good news?" She'd still be grinding, which was worrying him a little. He'd been trying to talk to her about the headache thing, but each time he tried, something got in the way. Sweetly, Sarah told him, "Bill's talking..."

Finn was out of bed like a shot and headed for the bath to shower. As he entered, Sarah turned to leer at Breakfast, saying, "I hear you taste like maple syrup..." The android-girl licked her lips suggestively. " _Sarah_ ," Finn shouted! The android gave the breakfast-person a smile as she got up and headed for the door. Blowing Finn a kiss, she said, "see you in the lab, babe." Breakfast sat staring after the strange woman, long after she'd gone. When Finn came back out of the bathroom, she burbled, "that wasn't Bonnie." "Sarah," replied Finn. "I figured she should have a name of her own." Face gone hot, the breakfast treat said, "she propositioned me!" With a shrug, Finn replied, "Sarah's a little more open about it than Bonnie." Breakfast's mouth came open as she realized what Finn was implying. Finn was too busy getting dressed to notice. Done pulling on his working attire, he gave her a kiss and said, "I'm'a tryin' get out for lunch. Maybe you, me, and Toaster can eat'n... talk." A stunned Breakfast nodded. She was still in shock as she watched him go out that door. What had she gotten herself into? Did they _all_ do that?

Downstairs, he found Ragnhild at the partition again, only this time Billy was there on the other side, and they were talking. There was a gadget fastened around his neck, and Finn could clearly see something poking into his spine. "Hey," Finn greeted the strange couple. "Hey, dad," said Billy. He looked... troubled. Which Finn imagined he well might. "Glad to have you back, man," said the King. Both husband and wife glanced down, telling him that things weren't quite right here. Drew announced, "the treatment's temporary, Finn. We're able to keep him lucid for twenty or thirty minutes at a stretch." Finn looked up to see his wife coming down the hall with Abeiuwa in tow. Abeiuwa now had a heavy steel and rubber gauntlet wrapped around her left hand. A gadget wrapped around her bicep pumped some sort of orange goop into and out of that gauntlet. At the same time, she had some sort of plug up her nose.

"Guess you're not out of the woods yet, either," said Finn with a sigh. Drew said, "somehow the grass-sword is feeding some sort of impulse into her nervous system. It's counteracting the effects of the spores." It was good to know. Finn might easily find himself facing whatever berry-person was spreading this crap in Bonnie's kingdom. In the now, Finn stepped up and hugged his old friend, saying, "I'm glad we still kinda' got you in the land of the living." Abeiuwa glanced away. She'd been trying to profit from this. She was filthy rich, and she'd been trying to profit from this anyway. She felt like a fool. She'd lost her husband–a very good man–and nearly destroyed William's life in the bargain.

Moving on, Finn said, "ok. What's next?" With a sigh, Drew said, "the spores, Finn. I need fresh samples. If we're going to counteract this, I need fresh samples of the spores to study." As Finn stood there pondering kidnaping Wildberry, Ragnhild suddenly groaned. When he turned to face her, he found the front of her dress slowly going wet. He knew what that meant. In the blink of an eye, he'd scooped her up. Turning to Bill, he said, "I know you wanted to be there, man, but I'm... I'll take care of her. We're gonna' be ok." And then he was gone, racing upstairs to Drew's clinic. It was time for his third grandchild to be born.

Drew stepped up before the window. She could see that the emotion of missing his son's birth was already overpowering the drugs. Softly, she said, "I'll have them down here as soon as I can. Rest now." And she closed the viewing window. Abeiuwa was left standing there with her ugly secret as the doctor retreated up the hall, following her husband. She'd meant to reveal what had happened in her kingdom to Ragnhild, but it appeared that there were far more important matters to deal with first. She would have to suffer the shame silently for a while.

Elsewhere, Strudel slipped into a darkened closet and closed the door behind her. In the strange, maze-like capitol of the Breakfast Kingdom, doors were never just doors and closets were never just closets. In the space-constrained world of the Breakfast People, closets invariably let out on a room or a hallway, enabling people to shed outerwear as they were going indoors or to put on a pair of shoes or a jacket before going out. That was nowhere more true than it was in the Royal Palace. The sisters had grown up sneaking in and out of closets and up and down back stairs to spy on their parents and later on just about everybody else in the kingdom. In spite of the way the palace was laid out, nobody ever seemed to think twice about talking shop or going in on the princesses when the mood struck them–like they were alone in a protected place.

It was a laughable notion in a maze where doors let people come in and out of rooms at random, and there were very few truly secure spaces. Breakfast and Toast most often did their naughty business outside the palace in the early days–before it became generally known what they were like. Later on, they'd given up the pretense. After all, what _were_ their hubbies going to do? Divorce them? Strudel had turned the business into something far more useful. She'd become something of a master at positioning herself where she could overhear some choice bit of news. For the youngest princess, who was a full eight years behind the eldest, it was a defense mechanism. They couldn't ambush you if you knew you were going to be ambushed. She'd scuttled six attempts by Breakfast to marry her off to some hayseed from the hinterlands.

Breakfast had a paranoid fear that somebody would bump her off the throne or, more recently, her daughter. The hard reality was that Strudel was fairly certain that French Toast was not only hopelessly unprepared for the job, but completely disinterested in it. She was happy in the Candy Kingdom, and she _never_ came home to their subjects. Now, something far greater than their sibling rivalries was afflicting the family and the kingdom both, and Strudel was turning all her skills at survival towards getting them out of this. She was, quite simply, their last hope. Breakfast and Toast were exiled and imprisoned. She'd heard rumblings that the two had been freed, but who knew when they'd manage to put together some sort of rescue plan. Their people couldn't wait for that!

Blargetha had taken to lording it over the Breakfast Kingdom as much as she did her own domain. In point of fact, she might well have been _here_ more than home simply because she liked the sunlight. Born to a race that was often forced to hide out from the wide world around them, Blargetha had a strange hunger for the sun. It was almost a weakness for her. She wanted to feel the sunlight on her face, and she would do anything for the chance–including stepping all over the agreement they had made.

Blargetha had stood aside and let Wildberry's men drag Breakfast and Toast out of the kingdom. She'd stood aside while those same men tried to lord it over Strudel. It was only a moment's clarity that kept her from letting them simply rape Strudel too. She clearly didn't care about the agreement, and she clearly wasn't interested in upholding the terms in favor of someone she seemed to view as an inferior. In point of fact, Blargetha and Wildberry had, on more than one occasion, behaved as if the Breakfast Kingdom belonged to _them_. So now the young princess was in defense mode. She did her best to stay out of their sight, avoiding them as much as she could and lieing through her teeth when she couldn't.

And she passed every scrap of information she could get on to Finn the Human in the hope that he would get it and be able to act on it.

Things had slowed down quite a bit the last week or so. Maja and her partners were in disarray. They'd sent army after army into the field against Finn, and all had been beaten back. To a great extent, Strudel's efforts had born significant fruit because she'd directed Finn's allies to many of the targets Maja had her forces aimed at. She'd had to be careful in getting the word out, and she'd gone through three stolen or secretly-purchased phones just to make sure that nobody could figure out where the leak was. Now, with Blargetha meeting by phone with Wildberry, Maudie, and Bathilde once more, it looked like things were once again heating up.

The little woman settled into a corner of the closet and pressed her ear to the door, straining for the sounds of Blargetha's voice. She couldn't stay long. Someone was bound to notice she wasn't in her office, and that risked drawing attention. Her movements weren't monitored down to the minute, but she knew the guards sometimes watched what she did and said. _C'mon,_ she thought. They should be starting. Why didn't she hear anything?

Just as she was considering shifting a little to get a better vantage, the door was suddenly jerked open, and she found herself staring up at the legs of a heavily-muscled mutant. The massive meat-bag grabbed her by the scruff and all but jerked her out of the closet. "Well, well, well," said Blargetha, as the hostile guard shoved the little princess into a chair before her. "We'd been wondering who the little tattle-tale was. I guess I should have expected it."

Defiantly, Strudel growled, "you said you were going to leave my sisters here!" Rolling her eyes, the slime woman said, "still on about that, huh? After all the shit those bitches put you through, you'd still take their sides." She made it sound crazy, but then she'd handed over her own sister to Maja and Wildberry. "You're going to the Night-O-Sphere," growled Strudel! "For what you've done to your own kin, you're going to pay with your soul!" Blargetha got right in her face, bending over and getting close. "And you're two hot seconds from being thrown to the wolves, cunt," she growled! "The guards have been itching to get their hands on you. You want that, cunt? Do you?" The little woman shut her mouth and glanced away, but the terror was naked on her face.

Stepping back, Blargetha went over to the table and emptied Strudel's purse onto the surface. It was the usual sort of junk, though she was a little disgusted to find a Card Wars deck in there. What was this cunt? _Thirteen_? It was bad enough that their _strategy_ seemed dependent on a game of fucking Card Wars. Tossing the deck on the floor, the evil slime woman dug through the contents of her captive's purse, coming up with the little bitch's _official_ phone along with the second phone the guards had seen her buy. Flicking it open, she growled, "password!" "No," retorted Strudel. Turning around, Blargetha nodded at the guard just once. He grabbed the little breakfast-person's dress and tore it off her shoulders. "Uh, 'baconcheddarhashbrowns'," babbled the young princess.

Flicking the letters, the evil slime woman said, "that wasn't so bad, was it?" Pulling her dress back up, Strudel said not a word. "I don't see his number," groused Blargetha. She meant Finn. "I don't have it," retorted Strudel. "Breakfast was his girlfriend, not me." She sounded bitter about that. "How do you contact him," demanded the slime-woman? "I don't," Strudel retorted. "I sent a few texts to people who know his friends..." "Hmph," harumphed the evil princess as she typed keys on the phone. Turning around, she flung it at Strudel's captor, who promptly shoved it in the younger woman's face. "Call him," growled Blargetha. "I-I," stammered the young girl. The guard grabbed her dress again, and she amended that to, "ok! Ok!" As Strudel dialed, the slime woman gave her instructions on exactly what she was to say.

The phone rang while Finn was in the prep room with Ragnhild, holding her hand and waiting as Drew and her team got the Froyo Princess ready to give birth. "Aren't you going to get that," asked the pale princess. "Nah, man," said Finn. "This is way more important." She gave him a harumph. "I wanted to be mad at you," she said. "I know, Rags," he replied. "I want to be mad at me right now." Bill should be here. "The world needs saving," she sighed. "That was part of what split us up, babe. The world was always going to need saving." "Yeah, but Jake was a jerk too, man," Finn chuckled. "Always trying to catch us at makin' out." That made her laugh. His phone rang again while they were both laughing. "Answer it, Finn," she said. "The world needs you. My baby needs you."

Blushing, the big man took his phone out. A very familiar voice came to him over the phone. Shooting to his feet, he gasped, "Strudel? Y-you... How are you?" She didn't let him talk. In point of fact, the little woman talked right over him, as if she had something to get said that just wasn't going to wait. Finn shut up and let her talk. The distress in her voice was palpable. In rapid-fire fashion, she hit him with a story that left him shivering in icy cold worry. Before he could get a word in, the little breakfast-person hung up on him. "Need to go," asked Ragnhild? "No," he lied. "Not for a little while." He sat there a while by her side until Drew showed up, saying, "ok, hero. Time for you to go. She's a fair bit between contractions..." Which meant she would be laying here a while. Reluctantly, Finn rose to return to work. Ragnhild told him, "he was so much like you, I had no choice but to love him." Face gone red hot, Finn headed out.

Outside, he called Sarah. "Go," announced the android-girl. "Hey," he said. "If I play you back a recording, can you... I dunno, analyze it... maybe tell me about the person who made the call?" There was a pause on the other end of the line. "A little," said Sarah. "It's not exact science, Finn. I would be careful making a decision based on that alone..." "I know, babe," he said, "but it's important I have some idea what I'm dealing with." There was another pause, and his wife told him, "come down to the lab, Finn." He'd sort of meant to keep this under wraps, but he really didn't have a lot of choice now.

Finn found himself looking at Bonnie, his son, Nadia, and Sarah. All looked rather haggard. It was a sign of just how bad things were that even the android was exhausted. "How much sleep are you guys getting," he asked? When Bonnie might have dissembled, Sarah admitted, "I kick them out at the twenty hour mark." Finn frowned at _her_ now, and she knew what he was thinking without him uttering a word. "It has to be done, Finn," the android replied. "I'm... best suited to keep this going." Calmly, Finn said, "I want the four of you to take the day off." When Sarah protested, Finn shut her down, saying, "I'm the King, and I'm also your husband. You will do what I say. Is that clear?" He got a chorus of, "yes, Your Highness."

Now, Finn put his phone on the table and played the recording he'd made of his conversation with Strudel. "She's in distress," Sarah said. "I can tell you that much. The distress isn't faked." "Agree," said Nadia. Given that she actually _knew_ Strudel, she had a baseline to go from. "But why," rumbled Finn? "She just told you that she's the mole," Bonnie replied. "That's plenty to be distressed over. The important thing is..." Finn, who was pacing, cut her off with a wave of his hand. His face had a far away look, and they wondered what he was thinking about. After a long few moments, Finn said, "somebody wants us to _think_ that Ingrid's dirty. Maja can't just conjure one of these War-Beasts out of thin air. If this fire-monster is hidden from the dudes in Wiz-City, it's hidden from _her_ too..." "You think they're playing for time," said Bon. It wasn't a question.

Finn said, "if you've had stuff go south on you bad enough to lose thousands of dudes, and you're in danger of losing the war, you go big. You conjure a monster. At the same time, you've maybe got a leak that's telling the other side about your plans. That guy–or _gal_ –has to go, or you've got to get her under control. You've also got to slow the other side down a little. Handicap them. Like it or not, Ingrid's been key in keeping us in this fight. If we lost her..." "We'd be screwed," replied Nadia. She didn't really like it, but she understood it. He was right. "Yeah," agreed Bonnie. "I'd try and get Warrior Princess out of the picture too, and using Strudel to feed us false intel on her is a good scheme to maybe wreck our trust in the mole. But what do we do with this? I mean... Finn, there's a reason you didn't trust her right off." "I still don't," Finn replied, "but I've got Cherry to find out some of the truth of this. I'm'a head out to Warrior Kingdom to check in and see what's going on. I'm'a do it on the down-low..." "So Ingrid doesn't know you're checking up on her," agreed Sarah.

Moving on, Finn said, "I'm'a be working for a bit. Sarah, I'll need you to fly me out to Ingrid's tomorrow. Get some sleep, all of you." And with that, he left them. The big man headed upstairs and did just what he'd said. He went straight back to work, looking at the balance of soldiers he had and where things stood with the little empire he ran. Beeps' work with the food supply would solve one of the nagging problems worrying at him. At the same time, this new thing with Ingrid threatened to upset the apple-cart. He didn't have anybody to replace her. He couldn't just kick her out of her own kingdom either. What if she _was_ dirty? What if she _was_ using undead? He found himself staring at one of those ugly things that Bonnie so often called _practical_.

In practical terms, he really should just let it ride and deal with it after the war was done. It was Ingrid's kingdom. She could do whatever the hell she wanted. On the flipside of that, how could he ever have trust or faith in a woman who stooped to doing that kind of thing? This was the definition of evil. _But Cherry did some evil shit too, Finn,_ he reminded himself. Where was the line? Cherry had redeemed herself. She'd thrown herself into the Lich War and given it her all, even managing to win over his kids. Could he deny Ingrid the same chance? He wasn't sure.

Picking up the phone, Finn called his son. It said something about how Marshall was handling all of this that the phone picked up after only two rings. In a time not long past, the younger man would have been a complete dick, ignoring Finn until he really got good and ready to call back. Time–and shared tragedy–was mellowing some of the sharpness, but there were still those moments that Marshall Lee Abadeer was kind of a jerk. Now, though, with his wives' lives on the line, he was on the spot. "Hey, bud," Finn greeted him. "Finn," Marshall replied. "I've got some possible bad news," Finn replied. "I don't have the deets yet. Cherry's still working it, but I'm... hearing some things." "Go on," Marshall replied. "There's rumblings that maybe Davina or Candy or maybe both are makin' up undead to serve Warrior Princess," Finn explained.

He waited on the explosion. One beat. Two beats. It didn't seem like it was coming. Marshall gave vent to a sigh, and that told Finn that he had been preparing himself for this very thing. "Is it true," he asked? "I don't know, Marshall," Finn replied. "The other side's making the accusation, but you know how much we can trust _them_." Which was to say 'not at all'. "I'm going...," growled Marshall. "No," said Finn. "You're not." "Finn," said Marshall. "Cherry's a tough bird, but she's not a vampire. If Davina and Candy went rogue, I have to know, and I have to fix it. I won't stand for Cherry getting hurt..." Finn was startled to realize that, in spite of everything, Marshall actually liked his wife. But like his mother had said, things were complicated. "I'm goin' there myself," said Finn. "Tomorrow." "Then, I'll see you there," replied Marshall, and he hung up the phone. Finn muttered curses, but there was nothing he could do or say to stop his son, so he moved on.

While he was pondering his next moves, the door to his office opened and Breakfast came in. She was carrying a platter of fine sausages, hotcakes, and cheddar-bacon hashbrowns, and at her side was Toast. "Thought you could use breakfast," said the older sister. She set the platter down on the table in the center of the room. He used the table mostly to meet with people. Now the two women used it to lay out the food they'd brought–and likely cooked themselves. He wasn't quite sure what he was going to do or say, but he knew he needed to support them. Rising, he came over to the table and drew chairs for both of them before sitting down to breakfast.

He didn't have a thing to say. He couldn't think of anything that wouldn't remind the sisters of what they'd been through. "You should eat better, Finn," opined Toast. That was his opening. Laughing, he said, "it's been a long while since I could do that..." Smiling in memory, he talked about his life before finding Simone on his doorstep, when he could sleep in and eat himself silly if he wanted. He'd been shocked at just how much work it took raising a family. Laughing a little, he talked of how he thought his kids were handling the business even now.

"Not as well as you," said Breakfast. She knew a little about how things were going with her daughter. After reconnecting, they'd had some long talks about Bon's workaholic ways. "Yeah," sighed Finn. "I should talk to him about that." Seemingly a lifetime ago, the younger man had been courting Fionna, little realizing they were brother and sister. He'd sworn up and down that he would do better than his mom. "But he's half Bonnie," howled Toast! Clutching her sides, she howled laughter. Finn had to laugh at that himself. Bonnie had gotten no better for having married him. She was still far more interested in her experiments and her work in the lab than she was in most anything else. Now, after a little over a year of this shared life, Finn had come to realize just how impossible it would have been to keep their marriage going if it was just the pair of them.

When Bonnie was a little horny, she wanted sex on demand. When she was a little bored with her work down in the lab, she wanted somebody to entertain her. Finn could understand how Marceline had gotten a little fed up with some of Bonnie's shit. There were moments where she was the sweetest person in creation–concerned about you and everyone in your life. And then there were moments where she would literally shut the door in your face because she was too busy delving into the mysteries of the universe. And Bon was a lot like her. Fortunately he was enough like his father that he actually _saw_ the flaws. He never let it get too far.

Meanwhile, in Warrior Kingdom, the Glass Witch stood watching from a distance as her wicked stepmomma had her meeting with the goons who supposedly knew where the shipments of bodies were going. A corner of her mind went back to the beat-boxing skeletons that had accompanied Marshall's mom on stage a few years back. She'd marveled at the sight of that at the time. It had been so freakin' cool. Now she was horrified and disgusted that some poor dude had gotten dug up so somebody could turn him into an undead soldier. Ghost-face had ducked out on her, leaving Fionna alone up here while she went and looked in on some of her dudes, which Fionna thought was safe enough. She just had to make sure that Cherry didn't get popped.

The street-café was in a strange, barely-open state at the moment. Most such places in the Warrior Kingdom were that way. The owner had special dispensation from the crown to open up–as a hospice and chow-hall for the soldiers patrolling the town. In exchange, he got a stipend that would carry him through until the end of whatever pointless war his overlords had stirred up this time. And if a few strangers in the town wanted to sit down and pay twice the going rate for meals, well, that was alright too.

Cherry wasn't paying today. She–or rather her agents–knew the owner. Marjorie had sent her to this place. The three men across the table from her supposedly had arranged to deflect the attention of the Chief of the Watch as the corpses had gotten shipped through. They'd worked with an unsavory fellow from the bureaucracy, and he'd given them papers to disguise what they were moving. "We figured they were dudes who needed to disappear," rumbled the gangster. "There's always dudes who need to go bye-bye." Cherry flushed in unconscious embarrassment. She'd made a _lot_ of people disappear over the years of her life. She rationalized it. Most of them were not-nice people, and she had no qualms about that. Still, she'd had a few people she'd made examples of who mostly didn't need killing, and she regretted that. "They were fresh bodies," asked the crime-boss? "Yeah," said the gangster. "Couldn't tell if they were strangled or poisoned, though. No marks on them."

They were _hardly_ gangsters or men who needed to disappear. Bodies were disappearing from hospital morgues–men and women who'd died of natural causes in some cases. Something here wasn't adding up, but it was clear that her mystery led here. "What's the name of this official who helped you with the manifest," she asked? "Dolf Nielsen," replied the gangster. "Works out of the tax-collector's office near the town gates. He stamped the papers and sealed them for us on his lunch hour." They'd been specifically directed on where and when to see the man. "Alright," said Cherry. "I'll be going there tomorrow. Thanks." The anxious gangster retorted, "that guy's part of the government! You can't just whack him!" "Who said anything about whacking," asked Cherry, as she stood to go? "I need information, so I'll make it worth his while." Thor's menacing presence made it clear that they should think about pushing the issue.

As the pair headed back to the car, Cherry dialed up her stepdaughter. "Fi," she said. "Yeah, mom," replied the blonde. "We're wrapping it up," said Cherry. "You and Ingrid can come back." "Ghost-face is still at the office," the bad bunny replied. "Said something about missing weapons. It's cool. She's with her own dudes." Cherry acknowledged that, but she found herself frowning. She didn't like how close to all of this Ingrid seemed to be. "Get back to the hotel when you can," she said. "Ok," said Fi. As Cherry rounded the corner, she found her stepdaughter standing there in the street, closing her phone. "I really dislike that you do that," said the gangster. Fionna gave her a grin. "Fi, honey," said the gangster. "Have you considered that we still don't know what that's doing to you?" Fionna barely stopped herself from rolling her eyes. It seemed a lecture was inbound.

As Cherry lectured her stepdaughter on the risks of using powers that she didn't really understand, her father was wrapping things up with Breakfast and Toast. They had enjoyed a pleasant brunch, talking mostly about old times and things that didn't touch on their current ugly circumstances. Taking his leave of them, Finn headed back to Drew's clinic to look in on his son's wife to make sure that things were going alright there. His mind was troubled, and he was thinking of Ingrid as he checked in with his old flame.

Ragnhild was resting about as well as she could with the baby threatening to appear. As Finn settled at her side, she cracked open her eyes and said, "I was hoping for a prettier sight." She'd honestly hoped Billy would be stable enough to visit for a while, but Drew had quashed that notion. It was just too risky right now. Holding her hand, the big man sat with her and talked about how he wanted things to be. He wanted to be the King that toured the land. He wanted to drop in on all his allies to spend time with them on _their_ terms so he could understand what they needed from him. "You just want to spoil Simon, Finn," retorted Ragnhild. "You know I can't let you do that." Finn had to laugh. She had him pegged. "We're going to be a wonderful family, Finn," she said. "Because you are a great father, and I know that my boys will look forward to every visit from grampa." Of course, in the right now, she had to kick him out because she really needed some sleep.

Finn did his best to work as he pondered what to do about Ingrid and worried over Ragnhild and Billy. He was keyed up and more than ready when Drew called him to let him know that the baby was coming at last. As he headed down the hall, he decided that now was a pretty good time to put _some_ of his house in order so he could go into the operating room with a calm mind. Drawing his phone, he dialed up Ingrid and waited. It took a little while to answer, and his mind wanted to conjure awful things as he waited on the line for his would-be wife. Finally the beautiful princess picked up. "Uh, hey, Finn," she said. She sounded breathless.

"You alright, babe," he asked? It was calm and cool. "Great," she replied. "I was... you know... workin' out. I always work out this time of day." He knew that. He'd watched her. "Things must be going ok," he said. "Never better," she replied. "Fi said Cherry wrapped up some of her business. She thinks they'll wrap up the rest of it here in town tomorrow." "That's nice," he replied. "Listen. I'm thinking of coming up there." "Nooo," howled Ingrid! "Uh... I mean you're _busy_ , honey. You've got a war to run, and we're not there helping you. I'll have all this wrapped up in a few days. You just hang on, ok." "Maybe I can help you get it sorted," said Finn. Chuckling, Ingrid replied, "babe, I've got Fi and Cherry and Thor. We're doin' great! You just keep working on what you're working on, ok? We'll be back soon. Loves you! Bye!" And she hung up in his face.

Shaking his head, Finn slipped his phone in his pocket and went into the prep room to get scrubbed and put on the surgical gown. Meanwhile, Ingrid breathed a sigh of relief. Sliding her phone back into her pocket, she wiped her brow of sweat before jerking her sword out of the corpse she'd impaled against the wall. That was the last of them. The chain was broken here. She'd broken the chain, so there should be no way to trace this mess back to _her_. Let Cherry show her face here! She'd find _nothing_! Wiping her sword clean with absent-minded efficiency, the Warrior Princess thought about her next move. _He's suspicious,_ said the voice. _No,_ retorted Ingrid. _He's in_ love _!_ He'd called _her_ for a change! He'd called and asked about how she was doing! It was time to double down! With Cherry here, and the eggheads buried in their obsession with curing the madness plague, he was probably getting very little sexual attention. This was her chance to strike!

Done cleaning her sword, Ingrid slid it back in the sheathe. Then she drew on a mantle to hide her features from casual observation before slipping out the back door of the office. She'd take her time getting back so she didn't attract suspicion from Cherry-bitch. With things moving along with Fionna, she didn't need to be arousing suspicion in anybody else. This whole thing was getting in the way! It was another fucking delay, when she really didn't have time for them. She was supposed to have convinced Finn to bring the war-machine back _weeks_ ago. She needed to get things back on track and soon. The way things were going, Finn might truly find a way to turn the tide without it!

As Ingrid schemed on how to bend Finn to her will, a truly dangerous meeting was taking place in the wastelands beyond the civilized kingdoms. Suadela Galitsis had put her offensive on hold after the negative encounter in the mountains. Billy and his mother were a bit dangerous for her plans right now. Even in the height of summer, the Ice King's dominion had prevailed over the heat, suggesting that they could potentially freeze her army in its tracks and stop her war before it got started. She needed an edge–something that would negate the power of the two ice-wizards. More to the point, she feared what Phoebe would do since she was Finn's wife. She could very easily come in on the side of the living and catch Suadela's army between fire and ice. That would be a very bad place to be. Rumblings brought to her by her spies suggested that there was trouble she could exploit in Phoebe's kingdom. Now she was seeing her overtures bear fruit.

"He's big," muttered her aide. "Yes," agreed Suadela, "very." The prince had come himself, and he looked much like the tales of the Flame King before he was deposed by his own daughter. Big and bulky, Flint towered over the undead, and he gave even the strongest of them pause. None of them had ever killed an elemental, and nobody was stupid enough to volunteer to try it. Suadela had pointedly kept her army out of conflict with these creatures for the simple reason that she didn't feel ready, and there were plenty of other races to destroy in the mean time. She still wasn't ready, but she couldn't wander in the wilderness forever without arousing suspicion. "Let's get this done," said she. Without even waiting, she strode forward to meet her would-be ally.

"You wished to speak with me," growled Flint. His voice sounded very much like rocks grinding against each other. He didn't even pretend towards civility. _But you're a soldier,_ thought Suadela. Coolly, the undead woman declared, "I won't waste your time pretending we have common ground, elemental. I have but one question in this moment. Where stand you on the subject of the other races?" Folding his arms across his barrel chest, Flint frostily replied, "I'd ask you the same thing about elementals." "You are not flesh," said the undead. Momentarily, she flashed into her true form and then back to that pleasant face in a display that would have unnerved most mortal men. "I cannot taste you," rumbled the undead. "I cannot rot you. My imperative is to bring all that lives and grows to the void."

Suadela paused, letting that sink in. After a long moment–perhaps where he pondered the wages of treason–the elemental seemed to at last make up his mind. "I have no need or concern for the flesh-creatures," growled the fearsome elemental. "Kill one and all. I care not." He had never been their friend, and they had wronged his folk besides. "Then we have a deal," replied the Dipped. "We divide the planet. You get the volcanoes and the other hot places. We get the rest." "Done, then," replied Flint. Smiling wryly, Suadela burbled, "I'd say let's shake on it, but... you understand." "I'll be prepared in just weeks," said the massive elemental, as he turned to go. As Suadela acknowledged his words, Flint took flight for home.

Walking away from there, Suadela could tell her aide was agitated. Fortunately, he waited until they were well away to speak. "Your Highness," he growled. "We have no need of planets or ruling territory." Which was as good as him saying that she was turning her back on the Imperative. Suadela laughed. "Life is life, Kent," she said. "Do you really think I intend to let that fool live? We have to find their weakness, Kent. They're too strong for us to take now, and I don't want them coming in on the side of the others. Rest assured, when we've killed the rest of the creatures of Ooo, I'll turn my attention to our _allies_."

 **A short, but significant update this week. The Dipped are on the move. Flint is backstabbing the other races of Ooo, and Finn's faction is threatening to come apart.**


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34:

"There's daddy," burbled Ragnhild. "Look! Look in the window, little Simon! There's daddy!" The baby giggled and burbled happily at the heavy window where Billy the Human stood. Ragnhild had been here every day since the birth, which was doing sweet fuck-all to help Billy cope with missing the whole thing. He was dancing around anger and disappointment issues and struggling to remember what they were doing all of this for. After all, Ragnhild lost too if the rebel princesses won. But he was still having his problems. Seeing him wincing in pain, the Froyo Princess murmured, "the headaches again. You're fighting it, aren't you?" Her husband said not a word. The longer he fought the bouts of violent madness, the worse they were. "You know this doesn't help, baby," she murmured. "I... I'm down here for the duration. I can come and see you any time I like." Billy glanced away, and Ragnhild reached out to him. She couldn't help the curse that slipped out when her hand hit the barrier between them.

He'd been telling her to dump him. She'd told him to stuff it. She'd let one husband drift away. She wasn't going to let this one go. This was the best thing that had ever happened to her in her life. "Sleep, baby," she told him. She had to be calm for him, when she was seething inside. This was marriage. She'd come to understand that this was what marriage was about. Eyes full of love, she said, "Simon, Anders, and I will be back this evening." Billy nodded as his wife flicked the switch and closed the viewing window. When she turned around, Abeiuwa was there. "Oh, hi," said the unhappy wife. "We need to talk," rumbled the fallen princess.

Hundreds of miles away, Cherry sat in the back of a rickety truck bouncing and bumping along through the broken lands in the northeast corner of the Warrior Kingdom. At her side sat her stepdaughter, chattering away in good humor about the day. Back in her trademark skort and tee-shirt in lieu of the dress she'd come to wear, Fionna was feeling like life couldn't be better. It was a rather simplistic view of life that didn't seem to take into account the very real problems they faced. Cherry paid it little mind. Like her father, Fi was utterly dependable for the things that mattered most. Meanwhile, at the back of the truck sat the brooding problem-child that had decided to accompany them. Ingrid had clearly expected the whole business to get shut down when the crooked ministers had been found butchered. She behaved as if there was absolutely no reason to continue the investigation. Simply put, the trail should have gone cold right there. She'd been completely unable to hide her surprise when Cherry announced that she knew where the shipments had landed.

Naturally, the Warrior Princess had an ironclad alibi for where she'd been while the dead men had been meeting their fates. She'd been investigating the theft of large quantities of weaponry–swords, shields, and the like. Now she was claiming that it was quite likely that the missing weapons had been taken this way. If there was an undead army here, likely they needed weapons. Which was very true to a point, of course. They would need weapons to fight, but it seemed awfully convenient that Ingrid discovered the missing weapons _now_. There were a lot of conveniences falling her way at the moment.

Interrupting her stepdaughter, Cherry said, "we're going to be in Skagen soon, honey. I'm going to need you to hide out..." "Huh," babbled Fionna? "Why?" Patiently, Cherry explained, "right now they're expecting _two_ people. It would look funny if I showed up with four..." Fionna retorted, "but I'm good in a fight!" Smiling indulgently, the older woman replied, "yes, you are. However, sometimes fighting's not what we need to be doing. It's rather hard to get information out of a corpse." That gave the bunny girl pause. " _Doh_ ," muttered Fionna. Sheepishly, she rumbled, "guess I'm not as good at this stuff as Star, huh?" Giving her hand a squeeze, the older woman said, "it's not about what we're good or not good at, Fi. You have different skills than Star, but I need you just the same. Rest assured, I expect this is going to go south eventually, but I need to talk to these people first and find out just what I'm looking at here."

At the back of the truck, Ingrid grimaced. The gangster. Subtly manipulating Finn's kid. She was so good at that. Ingrid had thought she was making inroads, but Fionna was all but clinging to that nasty bitch. And the Warrior Princess could hardly understand why. Those two should have been bitter enemies. For that matter, this woman had abducted Bonnibel and threatened her life. How was it that they managed to get along now? She didn't understand it, and she couldn't find a wedge to drive between this witch and the others. That was a dangerous spot to be in right now because they were perilously close to Kurja's army. It was the worst of bad news, and she was running out of space to figure out what to do about it. The minute these two knew about her secret army of ghouls, she would be fighting with them and possibly with Finn himself.

Miles to the north, Maja sat staring into her teacup, brooding. She'd come up from her laboratory looking as if she hadn't slept in weeks with her hair unkempt and stinking of sweat. She was rather a mess, and that was bothering Maudie and Bathilde. The witch had said not a word to any of them, when she'd come in. She hadn't even tried being her usual arrogant and obnoxious self. A corner of Bathilde's mind thought that she might be weak enough just now that they could actually take her in a fight. And that was the hell of it because Wildberry seemed uninterested in pressing just now. Wildberry was more interested in the chessboard before her and the lunch at her side than she was in what the witch was doing right now.

"Why don't you care," hissed Maudie? Maudie was the agitator. She was always agitating for action even as she was having trouble with figuring out what to do or how to do it. She relied on other people to have the brains to put her hair-brained ideas into practice, and it was hardly a surprise that Peanut Kingdom was having so many problems. They'd completely lost the Duchy Of Nuts, and the enemy soldiers were perilously close to linking up with the pocket that contained the Grey Forest. If not for Sugarlump's news, Ingrid and Fionna might be halfway to Maudie's capitol.

Wildberry checked herself from rolling her eyes even as she put Bathilde's Queen in check with one of her Handmaidens. "She's doing what we need," said Wildberry. "She's trying to conjure up a monster to let us smash Bonnie's kingdom." Which Bathilde hardly understood. "She's been at it for days," complained the Elbownian! "She's never going to find that thing! Why don't you just tell her about the Devourer? She could go and wrestle it out of the ground in the Fire Kingdom! Those aliens were going to do it." There were moments that Wildberry liked her allies no more than Maja did. Many were moments like this, where one of them was fully out of pocket and suggesting madness as if it was the most brilliant idea in history.

"So you think it's a great idea to fight our way past thousands of elementals across a flaming sea of molten lava so we can release a planet-smashing monster," asked the Berry-Person? "Even if we could get to that thing, you'll have to pardon me if I fail to see how splitting the planet in half buys us victory." It was clear that neither idiot had really thought about the consequences of freeing the monster. Wildberry was terrified of having Maja even know such a creature existed. She'd purged it from all the official records in the library to keep the knowledge secret a while longer. The Fire-Bleeder sounded dangerous enough as it was. Wildberry was having a bit of trouble sleeping herself at the thought of freeing something that dripped molten fire from its very flesh, and the fact that Maja was actually _reluctant_ to do it told her she was right to be afraid. Maja, who would have been content to live alone on a scorched planet with nothing to do but her endless experiments, hesitated to conjure the Fire-Bleeder because _she_ was afraid of the consequences. "Let's let sleeping Devourers lie," muttered the Berry-Princess.

"Well, then we should get to work on trying to find that monster," muttered Bathilde. "We need an edge. It's a matter of time before things come to a head, and I don't trust that fucking gangster to handle things." Wildberry was having a little trouble with that herself. They were gambling here. They were gambling that this was a shade too far for Finn. They were gambling that his morality wouldn't allow him to ally himself with a woman who dug up bodies to make undead. At the same time, he was more than just _allied_ with Cherry Cream Soda. The crime-lord had sent hundreds of men to their graves. The Warrior Princess had made it very clear that she saw herself climbing into Finn's bed too, and that told Wildberry that there was indeed a risk here. Calmly, she said, "there's a second monster. I'm no wizard, and I can't cast auguries, but I know there's libraries scattered all over your Kingdom, Bathilde. If you want to help, why don't you spend the time looking for the second monster. Even if she can't find the first one, we can raise the second. That'll suit our needs just fine."

Back in the Warrior Kingdom, Cherry sat before a rather sketchy looking Berry-person hashing out how he was going to help her with her little problem. It was a truism of the broken lands that you could scarcely tell where Wildberry Kingdom ended and Warrior Kingdom began. That was a lot of the reason for the endless wars that the Berry-Guard had fought against Ingrid's people over the centuries. Both sides had some degree of claim to these lands. Cherry thought Finn would have hashed that out. That was what he did. He was an egalitarian to the end, and almost to a fault. In the right now, it didn't really matter. Her husband was far away, and though she missed him, she had her own business to focus on.

"An abandoned mine," said the fat grape. He wasn't a plum. Cherry had become wary of plums. Still, the sight of purple always made her suspicious these days. Taking a sniff of the powdered Fruit-Witch venom in the packet Thor had given him, their informant said, "seen 'em dropping the shipments at the entrance. Bunch o'mooks come up from below and grabbed 'em." Cherry had been forced to get used to the dark side of her business. Once upon a time, the sight of this man inhaling the toxic venom would have unsettled her. She'd been distrustful of junkies. Later in her criminal career, she'd come to learn just how far you could trust a man or woman with a habit. She trusted them only so far and no farther.

That was the trick, of course. Only so far. There _was_ a mine. She was sure of that. It was simple information that could be corroborated. Likely he could point her to the entrances. She absolutely couldn't trust anything beyond that. As she listened, he spun out a long yarn about the men he'd seen there. He had a pretty vivid description of them, which she discounted out of hand. A man like this would have been too fucking scared to do all that looking around. Usually when you were dealing with someone who'd actually seen something like that, they had the vaguest recollections of the scenery and the people there. They might tell you there were more than three or less than twenty on guard, but they couldn't give you exact numbers like this and never exact descriptions.

As Thor patiently took notes, the grape told her about the road up into the hills there. The terrain was dangerous with several bottomless pits along the road. The sinkholes went deep into the earth, and you never knew what was down there in the darkness. More to the point, if you fell in, nobody was getting you out again. It was, in short, about as fortified as you could get without putting up walls. They couldn't get an army in there, even if Ingrid wanted to bring one in. That was another 'real truth'. The sinkholes were common in these parts, hence the name of the area. "Any undead," asked the crime-boss? Frowning, the man said, "not sure what you mean? "Skeletons," asked Cherry? "Zombies?" He shrugged, "didn't see any of that, but I didn't go down'at hole." "Fair enough, Mr. Zenker," she replied. "Tell me more about what you saw that night..."

Meanwhile, in a bar across town, Ingrid the Warrior Princess sat glowering into a mug of the local flavor. "We've moved the garrison," said Kurja. She didn't like meeting the ghoul here in the town. She didn't like having him so close to the people who were investigating her activities. And she didn't really like the fact that she was even having to have this conversation. Cherry was damnably close right now. If she hadn't been forced to let Fionna come along, she would have been very tempted to make the little bitch disappear. She could easily have let Cherry and Thor _find_ the missing vampires–right along with the world of hurt waiting down in the tunnels. There were a thousand ghouls down in the tunnels–a number that she thought even Finn would be unable to handle.

 _You're behind schedule,_ rumbled the voice. _Great,_ thought Ingrid. Her problems were having puppies. Her _pal_ was back. _The time for the war-machine is fading,_ the voice reminded her. _Not helping,_ she thought. _This isn't helping._ The voice continued to prick at her, reminding her, _the Berry-People and their allies still stand._ Which she well knew. She'd been toying with the idea of unleashing the ghouls on Wildberry Kingdom. Wildberry was at the top of the target list. Problem was that it didn't completely suit the goal. She just didn't see a way to get Finn to use the army at his disposal.

Outside the window of the bar, Finn the King stared at his would-be wife and her mystery soldier. People were moving around he and Marshall on the street oblivious to the presence of the vampire and his father, even as they heard snippets of conversation going by. He'd often wondered if Marceline could be felt or touched while she was in this state. Now he knew the answer. "Who's the dude," asked Marshall? The pair were talking about moving soldiers. Ingrid had gone off alone the minute they hit the town, leaving Fionna, Cherry, and Thor to go meet with Cherry's contacts.

"His name's Kurja," said Finn. Which was an _odd_ name. Frowning, Marshall said, "you trust him? He looks... I dunno'... creepy." The Vampire King was getting a bad vibe from the dude. "Nope," said Finn, "don't know him enough to trust him or not. His work's kept Wildberry from moving on Ingrid's peeps, though." The big man was awful calm about this. Marshall had trouble with that. He wasn't sure what he would have done if he'd caught Connie hangin' out with some dude. "I don't think this is the place we want to be," said Finn. "Got that right," retorted Marshall. He'd wanted to catch up with Cherry-pie and find out what was going on.

Marshall grabbed his father by the scruff of the neck and vaulted into the sky. In short order, they were flying across the town, aided by the clouds hanging low over the city. It was going to rain soon. The world had been seeing a lack of rain this year, and Finn wanted to put that down to the over-use of the Ice-Crowns in the Lich War. Nature always found a way to get back to a balance point when somebody had been messing with things. The big man found he would welcome the rain. It fit the groove he'd been feeling lately. He was unhappy with the way the world was turning, and he felt rather blue.

They arrived at the disused hostel that Cherry had named as the location of her meet-and-greet. The two men settled in on the roof of a building across the way, hunkering down within Marshall's darkness to watch and wait as the Princess of the Underworld did her dirt. Marshall was even more casual about this than Finn, but then his mother was the previous Lord of All Vampires and current Princess of Darkness. Finn imagined the younger man got it honest. Floating there on his back, the Vampire King said, "how do you do it, man?" Frowning, Finn asked, "do what?" Shrugging, Marshall said, "I got three kids, and I find myself wondering if I'm treating them fairly." The big man laughed in his face. In spite of the tension and the risk, he really couldn't help it. He laughed, as he told his son, "Marshall, you'll never treat all your kids the same."

The younger man frowned at him, and his face looked like he was angry. Finn turned back to his vigil on Cherry's activities and said, "you're talking about treating them the _same_ , Marshall. That's what you really mean." The vampire flushed to his hair. The blue dufus had him there. "Treating them fairly and treating them the same is not really the same thing," said Finn. "The more you try, the bigger of a dick you'll end up being. My dad... the one who raised me... tried to treat me, Jake, and Jermaine the same. We were all dogs to him. He treated me like a dog, and he tried to treat Jake like he didn't have powers or shouldn't use them. But we're _not_ the same. I was a scrawny little human kid, and I didn't have the physical strength or toughness Jermaine and Jake had. Jake was half an alien, and he had powers that Jermaine didn't have. Dad would get so mad at Jake for hurting his brother with his powers, and he'd yell at Jake for being a violent force. He obsessed over it so much he never got around to teaching Jake how much _good_ he could do with his powers."

Marshall was staring at him, but Finn's face was far away. Maybe he was thinking of Cherry. Maybe he was thinking of the other kids. Maybe he was thinking of those long-ago days. "One of your kids is actually your sister-in-law, Marshall," said Finn. "She's Candy's sister, and you're going to have to deal with that someday. You'll have to explain it the same way I had to explain to Bill, Fi, and Star how they had two moms. You'll have to explain why they have three moms. You'll have to deal with the jealousy and anger. And treating them as if they were all the same won't cut it because kids are all different. They all have their own needs. I could no more have treated you like you were Bill than I could have treated Bon like he was Fionna or Shoko."

"You don't pull any punches," muttered the Vampire King. "Because you're my boy, and you needed to hear that," replied Finn. "You're not Star, and you're not Shoko. You're Marshall Lee, and you like to get it straight with no bullshit." Marshall sat down beside him, and said, "you gonna' come by when this is over?" "Yeah, man," said Finn. "Didn't half get to see the kids last time." The pair moved on. The dude Cherry was meeting with looked like a dust-head, and that made Finn's worry ratchet up. Fruit-Witch venom could change the most normal person into a loon. Anyone could tell you. Never trust a dust-head. After his talk with Betty, he'd vowed to do a better job of seeing his wives as what they were–capable people in their own right.

He'd come to realize that the closer he got to them, the harder that was to see sometimes. He'd done his best to respect PB in the early going, but even there he realized their relationship had subtly changed. Did he let himself think it, he'd become that way with Marceline too, even though, as a vampire, she was well capable of taking care of herself. She and Bonnie had been getting themselves into and out of scrapes for _centuries_ before he was reborn. And maybe that was the thing. The closer you got to somebody, the more you saw the little flaws and problems that they didn't see.

When he looked at Cherry, he saw a cocky little bitch getting in way over her head, not even realizing what she didn't know. When he looked at Bonnie, he saw an obsessive-compulsive loon that didn't seem to realize when she'd carried something way too far and gotten herself in hot water. _And maybe that's the lesson, dude,_ the big man thought. _You'll never be able to_ protect _them, because the only way to do that would be to stop them being them. Maybe the trick is to nudge them when they're headed down the wrong path... without them realizing you're nudging._

"Do any of the moms... do each other," asked Marshall? It was out of the blue. Finn frowned at him. He was looking straight ahead at the hotel room. Not at _Cherry_. Not at Thor. Not even at the dust-head. He knew he was asking something he shouldn't. At the same time, the way he asked that told Finn something was bothering him. "Your mom and Bonnie," replied Finn, "but then you know that, don't you?" The younger man blushed to his hair. His mom hadn't really hidden that from him like she probably should have. "Sarah," added Finn. "At least she wants to." Marshall frowned at him.

With a shrug, the older man told him, "she's a person trapped in a robot body... born with all Bonnie's memories and personality quirks." "So she's got it too," rumbled Marshall. Finn said, "you've known about your mom for most of your life, Marsh... Why's it matter now?" "Connie's... _curious_ ," said Marshall. Nodding, Finn said, "Betty's _done_ it, which sort of suggests to me that Simone's _curious_ about it. I'm not going to jump one way or another on it. I... love them as they are. Not like we can throw stones, Marshy. I got myself in bad because I lost my perspective and started banging everything with a heartbeat to hurt Simone for dumping me..." "...and I'm a dick who just liked to fuck around because I could," sighed Marshall. "I just... Don't you ever worry...?" "That they're gonna' walk," Finn asked? "Everyday, man. But that's just as likely to happen anyway. It's hard work keeping _one_ girl happy." And Marshall had _three_. At least he still hoped he did.

Cherry looked like she was wrapping things up. It was almost time to move in and see what was going on. "She's probably going to freak when she realizes you're here," said Marshall. Grinning an evil grin, he added, "if she doesn't try to fuck you to death first." Finn laughed, even as he tugged at his collar in embarrassment. That was his crazy life. Still thinking about the previous conversation, Finn gave his most wayward son one last piece of advice. "Marsh," he rumbled, "Simon used to tell me that as long as you keep talking, everything's good. Just don't stop talking to Connie, Candy, and Davina. You'll be just fine."

The pair watched as Cherry came out of that place just as she went in. Finn was edge-of-his-seat anxious as his wife and son-in-law made that trip. He hid it far better than Marshall had ever managed. When the pair climbed back into the car that brought them, the Vampire King snatched his dad up before he had a chance to relax, vaulting into the air once more. Honestly for Finn, flying with Marcy had been much more fun. Hell, even the trip with Breezy was much more fun, even if he had gotten an embarrassing woody. Together and from on high, they followed the car as it wove its way through the narrow village streets.

On the edge of town, Marshall followed the car into a muddy compound outside a seedy, run down house. "Boy, I bet she's lovin' this," Marshall opined. Finn chuckled at the thought of Thor racing around squishing critters while Cherry squealed. Hanging out in the sky above the house, the pair waited a few moments for the older woman to get settled before heading in. Marshall was edge-of-his-seat anxious to find out what had been going on with Candy and Davina, and he all but threw the doors off their hinges.

Thor and Fionna both glanced up when the door all but blew open, and Thor's hands immediately went to his swords, while Fionna began to conjure her famous armor. "Hey, guys," said Finn, as he and Marshall materialized in the room. As Marshall shut the door, Fionna rushed up and threw herself on Finn, shouting, " _daddy_!" Finn hugged his little girl, breathing deeply of her scent as he remembered all the good times he'd had with his kids. The moment only got more melancholy as he glanced up to find Cherry standing there at the entrance to the back bedroom, her face distressed, and tears in her eyes. Clearing her throat, Fionna stepped aside. Crossing the room in two strides, Finn snatched up his nasty little wife, and, as the kids looked on, kissed her thoroughly.

Stepping back, Cherry demanded, "what're you doing here?!" "She says that a lot," teased Fionna. Cherry put out her tongue at the impudent wench. Finn sighed, "wanted to find out what's going on..." The door opened once again, and Ingrid came into the room, stopping stock still at what she was seeing. Her face fell as she took in the sight of Finn–and the Vampire King–there in the room. A shiver of fear went through her heart. Turning to face her, Finn said, "hey, babe. Things are going ok back home, so I figured Marshall and I would come down." Calmer than she felt, the Warrior Princess said, "the weapons got shipped to an abandoned mine..." "Lemme' guess," rumbled Cherry. "Hill country, twenty miles from town." "Yeah," replied Ingrid. "How did you...?" "That's where our mystery shipments are going," retorted the crime boss.

Finn and Fionna both glanced to Marshall, who sighed heavily. Things weren't looking good. "I've had Kurja bring up his troops," said Ingrid. "He's ready to move in..." "It can't be regular dudes," said Marshall. "If it's undead, I have to go. Alone." Alarmed, Cherry tried to argue that, but Finn interrupted, saying, "the Vampire King is the strongest undead there is. He can wrest control of any zombies or skeletons away from whoever's making them. Marshall's right. We don't want Kurja's army to get turned into undead like Yolanda's." Cherry wasn't happy with that, but she moved on. "Who would be doing this," she asked? With a sigh, Ingrid said, "there's a few families that were loyal to the previous regime. I think they're plotting against me. The Ulfberht and Gulbrand families were both in positions of power. My return's driven them out of their power bases in the capitol." Marshall's grimace deepened into a scowl, as he admitted, "Davina's maiden name is Ulfberht. Her ex-husband's name was Gulbrand."

It couldn't be a coincidence. "Ok," sighed Marshall. "I'll go up there tonight. Straighten this out." " _We_ will go," said Finn. Marshall frowned at him, but Finn said, "I'm your dad, Marshall. I've got your back. _We_ will find out what happened with Davina and Candy. They may be held against their will, like your mom." Cherry glanced away. That had been _her_ doing. Marshall relaxed visibly. It was entirely possible that Davina and Candy were innocent of doing anything more than going to see family. "Thanks," said Marshall. Turning to Thor, Cherry said, "ok. Bring the car around..." It was Finn's turn to protest, but Cherry said, "this is my fight too, honey. I've... wronged Marshall in the past. I want to see this through." "Alright," said Finn. "Everybody get your stuff. We'll leave in five."

As the family moved to get ready to go, Ingrid stood at the door watching. _You lie well,_ said the voice. The warrior-woman grimaced. This was nothing like she'd expected or intended. She was in so deep, she couldn't see the surface anymore. Coming back in from the truck, Finn took her face in his hands and said, "thanks, babe. Thanks for your hard work." Ingrid flushed to her hair, as the voice told her, _perhaps there's hope yet._ Leaning in, the big man kissed his would-be wife before heading back to Cherry's room to gather up the last of her bags. It was sort of odd for Fionna to watch that. It wasn't anything like Cherry-pop or her mom or Star's mom. It was like there was no chemistry there at all. It reminded her, in fact, of the dark days when her parents had been seeing everybody but each other. She felt bad for ghost-face because it just didn't seem fair.

The car rolled out of town as the sun was going down. With a little food packed, the gang rolled down the road with their minds focused on the fight ahead. Finn and Marshall sat in the open bed of the truck in back working their way through the plan while Fionna watched. Marshall's biggest concern was that nobody he cared for get hurt in this, and he was categorically against Cherry, Thor, and Ingrid sticking their noses in. After all, they had no powers, and there could be a whole lot of trouble down in that pit. "Ingrid's going to have her guys surround the place so Davina's family doesn't get away," said Finn. "She'll be safe enough there if we keep the undead bottled up." Turning to Fionna, Finn said, "and that means you get to keep track of Thor and Cherry." Fionna nodded. She would at that.

Riding up the road, they broke out dinner and spent some time chewing their way through leathery tough jerky. Fionna was amused by the taste and texture of the meat that Marshall drained the red out of, which was entirely novel to her and brought back almost-forgotten memories for Finn. Marceline had been out of communication for _weeks_ now, and they hadn't even seen Brianna. While he had their girls, and he was delighted to take care of them, he missed his wife. He was going to have to go to the Night-O-Sphere if this kept up.

Thor rolled up to a crossroads three miles out from the mine and pulled over to the side of the road, and the gang hopped out. "Ok," said Finn. "You guys hang tight here until Marshall and I get back. Fi? You're our backup plan. Thor? If you see dead dudes swarmin', bug out and warn the town." Giving a quick kiss to both women, Marshall and Finn set out. "Ok," said Ingrid. "I'll have my phone with me. If my troops see anything, I'll be in touch. Fionna? You are to stay with Princess Cherry. Understand?" "Sure," chirped the bunny-girl. _Very good at lieing,_ said the voice, as Ingrid set out. _Shut up,_ she thought. She didn't like the jam she was in. There were hundreds of hungry ghouls out here in the forest, and she had to maintain control over the pack of them or risk the Vampire King spotting them. On top of that, she had to get to the fucking vampires at the bottom of the mine before Finn did and silence them before they revealed her duplicity.

She had a great temptation to unleash some of her hidden army on Cherry. That would wound Finn and maybe push him to use the war-machine. And grief was a powerful force that could be exploited to worm her way into his heart. Trouble was that she had no idea just how powerful Fionna actually was. Fionna had almost single-handedly held off Blargetha's army and her war-machines at Cocoa City. She could likely tear through dozens of ghouls with no trouble. Fortunately, even with all the handicaps facing her, Ingrid had a few trump cards of her own. She'd chosen the place where they would stop herself, and Finn had agreed without too much hesitation. Now she had easy access to one of the mine shafts, which would let her get around Finn and get to the vampires first.

As she slipped across the land, a pair of her ghouls came out of the shadows. "Milady," Kurja greeted her. "I felt you coming..." Nodding distractedly, she demanded, "is everything in place?" "Yes, milady," he rumbled, though his companion couldn't help licking his lips. "Such a waste," muttered the undead. "All that good meat..." They'd stacked it all in the heart of the complex. It _hurt_ to see it all go for nothing. "Sorry," sighed Ingrid. "I'll make it up to you someday." Now she sat down, cross-legged, on the chill ground. Resting her hands, palm-up, on either knee, the fallen princess began to whisper. As Kurja watched, wisps of darkness seeped from her mouth. He could feel the awful power there, and it made him queasy in his stomach as he hadn't felt since he was a child. The other ghoul turned away very quickly in fear and discomfort. Meanwhile, down below them, in the endless caves of the broken lands, the restless dead began to stir.

Elsewhere, Marshall and Finn alit just short of the entry that Cherry had marked on their map. Just as expected, there were men on guard here. They wore the armor of the Ulfberht and Gulbrand clans. It was looking rather like Ingrid was right. There were dudes here trying to depose her. If Wildberry's faction was feeding Finn news on this, it suggested that maybe they were working with these guys. And maybe they'd actually kidnaped Davina and Candy for the effort. _Ok,_ said Finn. _No mercy._ Standing up and stepping out of Marshall's darkness, Finn said, "let's get this done." Before Marshall could say a word, he was among the six men, and he'd quite literally diced four of them death. It was a terrifying sign for the Vampire King that, in spite of his power, his father was still a very dangerous opponent. _Don't get on his bad side, dude,_ thought Marshall Lee Abadeer. As Marshall flew up, Finn gutted the last man. The pair turned their attention to the cave.

Back at the crossroads, a second car came rolling up out of the darkness. Thor and Fionna went immediately on alert. As they watched, a beautiful blonde Warrior-girl got out. Tall and curvy, she reminded Fionna of her cousin's wife, Pearl. "Marjorie," Cherry greeted the newcomer. She had a trio of massive bodyguards with her. Looking around her, the newcomer opined, "I see you found your way here..." "Fionna," said Cherry. "This is Marjorie. She helped me track this place down." "Hey," Fi greeted the stranger. "Marjorie, this is my adopted daughter, Fi. What brings you?"

Mildly, Marjorie said, "I believe there's a great treasure hidden in a nearby cave. I think the men who've been running this business are using it to fund the bribes they need. I thought we could recover some of your expenses..." Fionna's hackles went up, but Cherry's hand on hers was calm and soothing as the crime-boss said, "do tell..." "It's just a couple miles away," said Marjorie. "Why don't you come along and see? There's only a few guards." "Sure," said Cherry. "This has all been _expensive_." She gave Fionna a reassuring smile as she headed for the car.

For Finn and Marshall, the first sign of the problem came when they were half a mile into the tunnels. They'd been following a set of lanterns that had been laid out all down the passageway, leading down deep into the earth. The whole situation was suggestive of a great big trap, and Finn was starting to get a pretty negative vibe about the whole thing as he rethought the plan over and over again. As he was pondering whether or not to bring back more firepower, the zombies and skeletons came rushing out of a side-passage ahead of them.

"Got this," said Marshall Lee. Striding confidently forward, the Vampire King whistled to the onrushing dead. As Finn watched, the pack of them skidded to a halt in front of his son. "See," said Marshall. "No problem." And that was when the big zombie brained him with the mace. "Ow, globdammit," howled Marshall! As Marshall grabbed at his head, Finn darted forward and delimbed the dead dude. Marshall found his hand came back bloody from the top of his head. "Motherfuckers," hissed the Vampire King. Then his eyes went wide as he stammered, "hey! They can't do that!" Of course, the zombies showed that they very well _could_ do that as they rushed the pair.

In short order, the two men were fighting for their lives against what seemed like an endless horde of the undead. Worse news was coming though. Finn deftly dismembered a zombie, dropping it on the ground in a bloody heap. As Marshall pulped a skeleton, he found himself shouting a warning at his dad as the zombie's bones reassembled themselves into a chunky, bloody skeleton that immediately took up its former occupation–trying to kill Finn the Human. And, as if that wasn't horrifying enough, another horde of skeletons and zombies came out of a passage behind them. _Great,_ thought Finn. Facing undead that reassembled themselves. This was a fine fix to be in.

Meanwhile, Cherry's little group pulled up to the mine entry that Marjorie claimed held stockpiles of gold. Thor pulled in behind her in the truck, and he, Fionna, and Cherry got out. No sooner had they come out of the car than another couple of big dudes from Warrior Kingdom stepped out of the cave. "Cleaned 'em out, boss," said one of the men. "It's clear all'a'way down." Fionna frowned. She'd been expecting a fight. She _still_ expected a fight. Something was up here. Cherry, for her part, seemed to be completely comfortable with this. "Fi," said she. "Do be a dear and stay here." " _Mom_ ," howled the bad bunny! "Stay here, Fionna," said the crime-boss. "You too, Thor." Now it was Thor's turn to protest. Mildly, Cherry said, "there's nothing bad down there but a few bugs. I'm sure if I _scream_ , you can get down there to me in plenty of time." Fionna blinked. Yeah, she _could_ do that. _So much for not using my powers,_ thought the bunny-girl.

"Tunnel's lit," said the thug. Cherry smiled sweetly, as she set out. This was it. This was the endgame. She'd been expecting a move from her adversaries. They had her deep in their pockets right now. At least they thought they did. It was kind of strange that they hadn't moved already. They'd certainly bled off enough of her wealth. She'd gone along with it, even as they'd made increasingly outrageous demands. Whenever they got suspicious of her willingness to keep going, she would get the vapors about her step-son's missing wives. It had worked, and Marjorie's gang had led her right here.

It was a pretty good gambit. She'd been all but certain that Ingrid was behind this. She'd been expecting to find the Warrior-Princess's hands on some sort of document or other authorizing the raiding of morgues. Ingrid was a ruthless little bitch hiding behind a seemingly vapid desire to bang Finn. Now Cherry was starting to revise that and come back around to seeing this as more of the same. Ingrid had been the soul of discretion so far. Perhaps she _was_ in love. Perhaps this _was_ just what it looked like–a chance to shatter one of their alliances and drive off a friend.

It took a while to make her way down through the tunnels. While she walked, she thought her way through how this had all been put together and what her next moves needed to be. First up would be siccing her attorneys on the banks holding the cash Marjorie and Sugarlump had stolen from her. When she was done with them, they would be terrified of crossing her ever again. After that, she had to have a heart-to-heart with Finn about Ingrid. It was maybe time to cut the wench some slack and time for Finn to decide where he really stood on the matter.

As the ground leveled out, Cherry found herself walking into the main section of the mine. The area was well lit, and there was not a trace of treasure of any kind. Not even a crate. There _was_ a woman standing there, though. She was a tiny thing, and most of her shape _screamed_ wood-nymph. As Cherry approached, she came to realize that her host had skin of a deep-purple hue. _Plum Purple,_ thought the crime-boss. Her lips were parted in a sneer, displaying jaggedy teeth just like all the folk of Wildberry Kingdom had, and her round face bore hints of Jame's Plumly's ugly visage.

"Hello," said Cherry. "You must be Mr. Plumly's wayward daughter..." "And you'd be the cunt killed my dad," growled the gangster-girl. Calmly, Cherry said, "can't say I didn't expect this. You kind of overplayed your hand." That seemed to surprise the nasty creature. "Oh, you thought I was fooled," chuckled Cherry? The nasty ex-stripper's fists clenched. Hand on hip, Cherry calmly explained, "I have a long memory, kid. I recognized your gal-pal from the night she tried to smash the windows out of my car." Teeth gritting, Sugarlump snarled, "but you came anyway..." Cherry shrugged and said, "bait to draw you out. Figured it was time to stop playing with your patsies and get down to the meat of things." "Meat, huh," growled the evil plum-person. "We're gonna' get down to the meat... _on your bones_!" And that was when the gangsters started coming out of the shadows and out from behind pillars–really anywhere they could hide.

It was on then. Cherry drew the pistol from her purse as the gangsters charged. The pistol spoke, and she downed one, two, and then three. Then it was time to get off the X. The unpleasant encounter outside Purple Kingdom had taught her a valuable lesson. It was time to stop being a passive participant in life. If she was going to run with Finn and his family, she would have to step up her game.

Star had helped some. If Cherry had an emotional investment in the wood-nymph, the opposite was just as true. She'd insisted on teaching the older woman how to handle herself in a fight–if nothing more than managing to survive. Now, as Sugarlump watched, the Mafia Princess did a neat tuck and roll, coming up behind a column in time to lay out one of the big, bad plums she'd brought. " _You get that fucking bitch_ ," snarled Sugarlump, as she drew twin daggers of her own.

Meanwhile, up above, Marjorie found herself faced with a wonderful opportunity. She had eight men here, and two pigeons waiting to get theirs. One was Cherry's brat apparently. This was an opportunity to do quite a bit of damage to the cunt. And besides, Majorie didn't like to leave loose ends. When the sounds of gunfire came echoing up out of the hole, the ex-hooker shouted, "kill them! Kill them both!" Fionna and Thor took one look at each other and waded right in. Conjuring crystal blades, Fionna blocked the strikes of two of the dudes. Doing a neat pirouette, she skewered one through his back, blocked a second strike from the other, then chopped his head off. Thor hooked one of his opponent's blades, twisted it out of his hands, and then smashed in the fool's head with the pommel of his sword. Twisting out of the way of a second thug, he lopped off his sword-arm, then kicked him in the ass, hard, sending him sprawling in front of his mates.

Marjorie screamed at her dudes, shouting for them to finish this, but she had little idea what she was up against. One of the gangsters shot Fionna in the back, only to goggle in shock as a piece of crystal blocked the dart. Thor hurled one of his swords, sticking the heavy blade in the man's gizzard. Then, picking up the gun, he leveled it at four men coming out of the forest and let fly. Fionna conjured a wall to block one of the gunmen. Then, pirouetting around the wall, she stuck a glass dagger between his eyes. Turning to his pal, she brought shards of glass up through the ground, skewering his feet. As the hapless man fell screaming, more shards of glass shot up to impale him.

Down in the tunnels, Cherry slipped another magazine in the pistol, rolled out from behind a pillar and nailed one of the plums through the pumper. At the same time Sugarlump hurled a dagger that nicked her throat. Cherry spun away and shot another of the gangsters. There were so many, they were getting in each other's way. She was supposed to scream. She knew she should scream and get Fionna down here. At the same time, she knew Thor would need help up on the surface. And she would survive this no matter _what_ these fools did. So she fought on.

She had a lot to fight for. Her sons. Her husband. Friends she'd made against all the odds. Children she'd grown to love in spite of circumstance. One by one, she knocked down the gangsters. As the last one fell, she spun around to find Sugarlump rushing up behind her. _This is going to suck,_ thought the crime-boss as the half-nymph rammed a dagger into her chest. "Bitch," snarled Sugarlump, as Cherry slumped to her knees. "Oh, this sucks," groaned Cherry. _How does Finn_ do _this,_ she thought, as she grasped the dagger handle? Sugarlump was practically _dancing_. She was full of the joy of the moment as she trash-talked about selling Cherry's sons for dogmeat somewhere and killing her fellow princesses one by one. Calmly drawing the dagger out of her heart, Cherry pressed the button on the gadget she kept under her blouse. As the decorspinator serum flowed through her bloodstream, closing off broken arteries and healing her damaged heart, the crime-boss groaned. Then, shaking off the cobwebs of pain, she climbed back to her feet.

"H-how," stammered Sugarlump? "Think I didn't plan on this," retorted Cherry? She drew out the injector. "A magic drug," stammered the plum-girl. To Cherry's surprise, the nasty bitch still had fight left in her. She tackled Cherry on the fly, knocking the gadget out of her hand. In short order, they were rolling around on the floor with Sugarlump trying to tear her hated enemy's throat out with her teeth. Cherry, who'd thought she'd just won handily, now found herself in the fight of her life all over again against an enemy who was determined to do her in.

Up on the surface, Marjorie realized that it was well past time to go. She couldn't spend money if she was _dead_ after all. It sort of sucked to be Sugarlump, but there was no honor among thieves. As she turned away from the sight of Fionna driving her fist into the back of one of her thugs, she ran right into Thor's sword. The big man felt the blade bite, and he drove it in deep with one powerful arm. Marjorie gasped in shock and pain as the razor-sharp blade went out between her shoulderblades. "Intended to take you alive for questioning," he said. "Dead will do, though."

Down in the tunnels, Cherry had the nasty bitch straddling her with Sugarlump's powerful hands wrapped around her throat. It was a helluva spot to be in. But she was a fighter. She'd been a fighter all her life, and she wasn't quitting now. Not with her whole world at stake. Reaching deep into her reserves of strength, she socked Sugarlump in the eye, causing the nasty bitch to flinch back. Then, as her enemy clutched at her broken eye-socket, Cherry hit her again. And then again. She kicked the nasty bitch between the thighs, then threw her. As Sugarlump lay groaning on the floor, Cherry got up and retrieved her pistol.

By the time her enemy regained something like composure, Cherry was standing over her with the gun. "I always wondered what I'd do when this day came," sighed Cherry. "There were a lot of ways I wanted to _hurt_ you. After you tried to kill my stepdaughter... after what your dog did to Drew... I wanted to make you _howl_..." A defiant Sugarlump growled, "do what you're gonna' do! You got the gun, bitch. Do it! If you don't, well... I'll be back. I'll be waiting out there in the dark to eat your fucking heart. I intend to fry your fucking heart someday..." Cherry chuckled, "but not today, kid. Not today." Uncocking the gun, she backed away from the nasty customer on the ground. When she was far enough away to avoid a bum-rush, she tucked it in the waistband of her skirt, turned, and walked away. She had a husband. She had a family. She had a world where she _belonged_ , and it was high time she got back to it.

Behind her, Sugarlump climbed to her feet, feeling at her battered face as she did so. The bitch had done a number on her, and now she realized that there were bones broken. She'd never been _pretty_ like her mom, and now it was _worse_. Her face wasn't ever going to be the same. It was another reason to hate. It was another thing to want vengeance for. "Gonna' gut you, bitch," she growled. "I'm gonna' see you and that dufus die..." Just as she was uttering those words, a razor-sharp blade of pinkish crystal pierced her back, driving straight through her heart. Fionna Mertens-Petrikov opined, "my daddy had this bad habit of leaving shit unfinished. He was trying to be a good dude... Trying to be a hero. That's where wicked stepmomma gets that shit. Me... I've learned to tie up loose ends so they don't become a problem down the road." As the corpse slid off her sword, Fionna glanced at the tunnel. She had to get back upstairs before her stepmom got there. No more fucking Lich. No more Sugarlump. Soon there'd be no more fucking Wildberry and Maja. And, if she played her cards right, there would be no more Penny. And then they could _all_ rest easy. Gathering her power, she _jumped_.

Cherry emerged on the surface to find Fionna at the cave entrance, looking like she was thinking of coming down. "Took care of it," said the crime-boss. Fionna said, "if you're gonna' get all stabbed up, you should bring another outfit. Daddy's gonna' be upset." Cherry blushed to her hair as she realized just how much of a mess she looked. Mildy, Thor said, "we should get back to the crossroads. Just in case." Ingrid might come back looking for them after all.

Back at the mine, Ingrid came huffing and puffing down into the central chamber after a long run through the darkness. She'd run for miles to get around to the mine's emergency tunnel in the hope of beating Finn and Marshall. She didn't have long. She could _feel_ her hastily conjured army losing ground. As hard as she was working to keep them together, Finn and Marshall were whittling the undead down to nothing. Finn had even taken to not just disabling the zombies and skeletons but smashing them such that the parts couldn't be reused. She was running _out_ of soldiers and out of time both, and it helped not at all that Marshall had never really ceased trying to wrest control from her. He was _powerful_. He was more powerful than even being King of Vampires would have suggested. _Demon blood,_ thought the fallen princess as she approached the sleepers. Marshall was tainted by more than the Vampire King's dread curse. He was the grandson of the Prince of Darkness. _So don't fight him,_ thought Ingrid. _Get this done and get the fuck out._

The sleepers were just as Kurja had described. They were laying on twin biers, with tubes stuck in either arm as the ghouls drained them for the dark blood that ran through their veins. The Moon and the Heirophant had created _hundreds_ of ghouls for her against their will. Now that would have to end. She wasn't supposed to fight Finn. _So get this done and get out,_ she thought. Placing her fingertips to either woman's forehead, Ingrid closed her eyes, whispering, "you will forget. You don't remember that day. You only remember _now_. When you wake, it will be as from a dream." Stepping back, she shook herself. That had taken longer than she thought it would and been much harder than expected. Marshall's demonic taint was affecting his wives as well. Familiar voices told her that it was time to scoot though.

Marshall Lee came into the cavern rubbing at his aching head. "It shouldn't be possible, Finn," he muttered. "Something was fighting me... Some _one_ was keeping those zombies under control and fighting me." "Maja, dude," Finn replied. "She's one of the most dangerous witches in Ooo. Had to be her hand in this." And Davina's family wouldn't be the first to throw themselves into Maja's hands. The two scanned the scene in the chamber, finding that it looked like an undead _party_ had been happening down here. There were bits and pieces of bodies and skeletons scattered about in haphazard fashion. _This is the place,_ thought Finn.

However, instead of finding Davina and Candy lording it over the dead as Marshall had feared, they found the pair laying quite still on twin slabs of stone. Marshall rushed to their side, and Finn found himself praying the pair were ok. "Th-they... these fuckers have been draining them," howled Marshall! Voice soothing, Finn asked, "are they going to be ok?" Marshall glared at him, but Finn merely said, "try and wake them, Marshall. See if they respond. Then we start the task of getting them home." Just like always, his calming voice was just the thing to help the raging Vampire King get control of his emotions.

Reaching out, he brushed his hand over Candy's eyes. The Moon moaned softly, her eyes slowly opening. "M-Marshy," she groaned. Her voice was dry and creaky, and she sounded weak as a kitten. "Oh, Marshy, somebody... somebody's kidnaped mommy and me..." "I'm here babe," he told her. "Whoever it was... they're gone." Grimly, he said, "lie still, baby. Lie still a minute." He turned his attention next to Davina. Thankfully, she was alright too. Finn, meanwhile, had been bustling around the room, gathering up bits of metal and odds and ends of this and that. Hauling them up to the vampire trio, he said, "let's get these two fed some." And he dangled a piece of rusty iron in Candy's face.

Morning found Finn and his family gathered around the table in Cherry's nasty rented house having breakfast. Thor and Marshall had gone out and scored them some grub, and now they were all having a bite to eat before moving out to get home. After having a bit of a talk with Fionna about Ingrid's status in the family–and a bit of a talk with Cherry too–Finn had spent the night with both. They'd been too exhausted to do anything more than snuggle, but they had at least been able to do that. Now both women were occupying either of his knees as they worked their way through steaming piles of pancakes.

"You can ride with us as far as the border," said Finn. "No point risking sunburn." For a wonder, Marshall agreed. But then, Cherry thought he had come to realize what he stood to lose. Mother and daughter were in good cheer now, playing with their food and generally having a grand time of it. Candy wanted to go shopping when they got home. Davina wanted to go lounge by the pool. Both were anxious to see their kids. It was something of a happy ending, even if Maja was still out there raising hell. Slipping an arm around Ingrid's waist, Finn decided that he was happy enough to have got through this with no tragedy and without having thrown away a relationship that was starting to matter to him.

 **And so ends one thread of the story as another takes quite the turn.**


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35:

The cabinet meeting was just as contentious as before. If anything, it was more so with Cherry, Breakfast, and Nadia all present and Abeiuwa sitting in as a guest. Ingrid was back to her usual refrain. Finn needed–no, had an _obligation_ –to use the war-machine. In her mind, if Finn was so certain that Maja was trying to conjure another deadly monster, then they needed to launch a pre-emptive assault. They should be using the war-machine to raze Wildberry Kingdom before Maja had a chance to roll out this Fire-Bleeder.

For once, Fionna had her mouth shut. Ingrid was a little surprised and even a little _worried_ by that. At the same time, it gave her an edge. The big man listened to that wench, and he often allowed himself to be persuaded by her words. If Fionna was at least _neutral_ there was a chance of moving things on. At least it had _seemed_ so. Far from seeming to listen, Finn seemed to be doubling down and fighting hard against the very idea of resorting to the army of deadly war-machines he held in the palm of his hand. It was as though his mind simply couldn't encompass the act of sending the war-robots against his foes, and that was driving Ingrid to distraction.

Sitting back in his chair, Finn the King told his girlfriend, "the answer is no..." When Ingrid would have protested, Finn cut her off, saying, "stick a sock in it. Unless and until there's an actual sighting of this monster, we'd be using a possibility as an excuse to do something awful. I'm not going there. It's bald-faced _murder_ if there's no enemy for them to fight. The answer was no before. It's no still." Shooting to her feet, the tall blonde growled, "you're playing with lives..." Voice gone hard as iron, the big man said, "sit down. Now." All the women in that room had seen flashes of the big man's temper. Ingrid sat herself. Softly, she said, "if my Lord has no confidence..." Cherry's hand caught hers, the chill of those fingers suggesting that now was not the time.

The meeting broke up then, more because Finn was done with this particular argument than because they were finished with the work. The King of Ooo all but stormed out of the meeting, which said a great deal about his mood. "Piece of advice," said Cherry. "Nobody is more aware of the risks here than he is. Badgering him about could-be's isn't helping. I'll be putting my agents to work finding out if Maja's left Wildberry Kingdom. Why don't you get back to work on the invasion of Breakfast Kingdom?" As Finn had already told her to do. The little woman got up and went strolling out. Ingrid was left alone when the others had gone. Shortly after, she got up and went out into the garden to find her dog just where she'd left him.

The mood was thick on the proud princess as she strolled up to the undead. She wasn't excited to have him here, and that had been contributing to the angst. Finn had commanded her to send for the commanders of _his_ field armies, and he'd insisted Kurja come too. Now the princess had to do her best to _hide_ what was right in plain sight. Fortunately, the vampires had decamped for home the minute they reached the border with Engagement Ring Kingdom. Constance had arranged for a detachment of Ring Guards to fetch her husband and sister-wives. There would have been no hiding who and what Kurja was with them around. More to the point, Ingrid feared jarring the Moon's memory of what had _really_ happened.

As she approached, the undead looked her up and down in unseemly fashion. He'd never gotten out of pocket before, but Ingrid found herself frowning at him. "Perhaps milady might try _honey_ instead of vinegar," suggested the ghoul. Ingrid frowned at her impertinent shadow. Softly, the undead said, "milady forgets. I was... once a man..." The warrior-woman gave him her undivided attention. "W-why does he fight with me like this," she asked? It was meant to come out in her usual hard tone, but it came out as a sob. Taking her face in his rough hands, the monster carefully brushed back her hair and said, "he isn't fighting _you_ , milady. He is asserting his independence and will." Putting on that pouty face, she burbled, "but... he doesn't shout at _them_... I... He let's that fucking bandit do what she does. The wood-nymph and the wizard have told him off on several occasions... He doesn't shout _them_ down." Nodding, the ghoul acknowledged that was true. "But they have learned to disagree like _women_ ," he said. "They make it clear that they're not in some kind of bitter _rivalry_ with him. They are his wives and _partners_ , and they listen to his decisions and _accept_ them. More... they understand where his decisions come from, and they never try to push him in directions they know he must resist."

"You... you're say I'm trying too hard," babbled Ingrid. "Be a _woman_ , my Lady," said the ghoul. "Be a _wife_. When you are his wife, all his love and affection flows..." "Y-you think so," she babbled? "I have _seen_ it," the undead replied, "with my own eyes." His words were like a shockwave disrupting the neat little world she'd constructed in her mind. She'd never thought of herself in the way he saw her. Honestly, she saw some of the problems that had put her at loggerheads with Clarence. Bitter rivals. It had all come down to a rivalry that neither she nor Clarence really wanted.

At the same time, they should not be here talking–not like this. Kurja, especially, should not be here. "The meeting's over," she said. "I don't think there will be another today. You... you should go." She was keeping him in a seedy hotel on the far side of town. So far nobody had really noticed the obscene lifestyle he led. The Candy Kingdom was focused outward right now, and if there were a few bodies missing from the morgue, there was little time to spend on the matter. The ghoul took his leave, and Ingrid headed for the exercise room to work out and think.

Finn saw no more of Ingrid that day. He busied himself in working out the direction he wanted to take the world, and left the rest to his cabinet. When lunch rolled around, he spent it with Lollipop and the kids. And then he spent the afternoon on phone-call diplomacy, doing his best to lure other princesses to his side. As the day drew to a close, he had mostly cooled off. With dinner fast approaching, the big man had one last call to make.

Locking the door, he got out a bottle of fresh spring water and emptied it into a wooden bowl. That last had been Nadia's idea. Talia was a nature spirit. What was more unnatural than a plastic bowl? It took a while. "C'mon, T," Finn groused. "Answer, dammit..." After a seeming eternity, the rusalka's frowning face appeared in the chill water. "Do you have any idea what time it is," demanded Baba Yaga? A sheepish Finn babbled, "uh, sorry..." The witch's scowl indicated that he should get to the point. "Need some advice, T," he said. In wary tones, she replied, "go on..."

Finn paused a moment. Honestly he felt all of a fool. "I don't know what I'm doing," he said. She laughed in his face. She practically howled, and it took several minutes for her to subside. When he had her attention again, Finn said, "I need to know. Am I doing the right thing? Peeps lives are depending on me." Now she saw what this was about. True to form, she'd been watching him off and on. Now the witch gave vent to a long sigh, and he feared what she would say. Still, he hung on every word as she answered, "ask yourself this, Mr. Mertens: Who gains if you use the death-machine on Wildberry? How does it serve the wider goal of peace? I will return the machine and gladly, if that's truly what you want. I've banged my knee into it six times going to take a piss in the night. But you must answer that question, Finn..." And then she was gone. Which was precisely as unhelpful as he feared she'd be.

Leaving his office, the big man headed down to dinner. Lollipop, Drew, Toast, and a very clingy Breakfast joined him, which said something about the snit Ingrid was in and the strain Bonnie, Sarah, and Cherry were all under. Finn sat down and did his best to enjoy the evening and the company, but the fight cast something of a pall on things. He barely tasted his dinner, which was a little embarrassing when Toast had put so much energy into it. And if you asked him what any of the girls had honestly said that night, he couldn't have told you if he tried. In the end, after a very short workout and a little more time spent on the kids, he was about ready for bed. At least he would have been if not for the sudden appearance of Star and Fionna outside his door.

"Trouble, dad," said Star. "There's a riot in Candy-Town." Which was precisely what Finn had been afraid of. He didn't have to even look to see the irritated, _disapproving_ expression on Ingrid's face. In her mind, if they sicced the 'bots on Wildberry, they could find out how she was spreading her filth in the friendly kingdoms and get it shut down. The longer they went on with this, the greater the risk that this whole thing would blow up. "Alright," said Finn. "Get the troops together. We'll ride out and get it sorted out." Turning to Drew and Breakfast, Finn said, "I'll call as soon as I'm able."

Finn went into the Royal Suite, doffed his suit and tie, and came back out in the rough gear he wore when he expected a real dustup. Since they had no way of knowing just what they were facing, he wasn't taking chances. Giving Breakfast and Drew a kiss, the big man got on his way. Outside, he found Star and Fionna waiting with a Banana-Guard Truck, but he also found Ingrid standing there waiting on him. As the big man reached the bottom of the stairs, the ornery princess told him, "I accept that you are my King, Finn. My King and the man I've chosen as my husband. I... only want _our_ people to prosper, my beloved. I hope that you see that." Finn's face went hot, and he glanced away. Softly, he said, "I know... I'm... having trouble with this. I need to see that this will do more good than the harm the war-machine's already brought. I don't see that yet."

Which suggested that he _could_ see it. Fionna wasn't sure she liked that, but she was having a little trouble seeing her own way through this. Things had been so much _clearer_ when she was sixteen. Right was giving the bad guys a chance to scram before smashing them into pudding. Right was mercy for a beaten foe. She'd killed Sugarlump in almost-cold blood, and she honestly was looking forward to doing the same thing to Penny. Was it vengeance? Was she being vengeful? She wasn't really sure. At the same time, a part of her knew there had been no safety for her peeps as long as Sugarlump and Marjorie were breathing, and that piece of her wanted Penny Sour _dead_.

And this? Her dad was trying to do the right thing, but a part of Fionna would have seen him do just what ghost-face wanted. It was one of those ugly things that Billy had talked about on the ice-island. Her dad had to see things more clearly than she did because he was carrying it all. The whole flippin' world was on his back, and he had to balance the good of sending out the 'bots to bash Wildberry with all the ugly that those actions could cause. And he wasn't sixteen anymore with the luxury of seeing the world in black and white. Turning for the truck, she announced, "c'mon, mom and dad. We can figure this shit out later..." It was a sentiment that both elders could agree on. Climbing into the truck, the quartet set out.

A hundred assorted trucks joined them on the way out of town. Star had been busy cobbling together effective transportation the last few weeks. Between running the few manufacturers ragged and scrounging every rusted piece of scrap out of the wilderness, she'd cobbled together a fairly effective response force, enabling her to move pieces of the Banana Guard around the Candy Kingdom at highway speeds at least. It was another bit of business that made Finn queasy. He understood the need. With all that was against them, it would be like fighting with one hand tied behind their collective back to try and _march_ troops to Candy-Town in the dark, across country. He still didn't like it because they were skating perilously close to the sort of machine-warfare that had destroyed the legacy of humanity. Sitting in the back of the truck, Ingrid wrapped her arms around his and lay her head on his shoulder, the gesture seeming to say that there was time for the worry later. Finn withdrew his arm in favor of slipping it around her waist.

Arriving at the entry to Candy-Town, they found the guards who'd been on site were mustered and sort of milling about in worry. That was ominous, and it made him fearful of just what was going on in the town. Jumping out of the truck, the big man strode straight up to the Muscle-Dude who was in charge. "What's the story," asked Finn? "Three hundred rioters," said the soldier. "They're marching from street to street, smashing up cars and setting fires..." Which wasn't anything like the _usual_ game. At every other riot, the victims of Wildberry's nasty spores just wandered around fighting anybody who got close. They weren't particular, and they weren't _organized_. "We sure it's rioters," asked Star? "Sounds like... just people raising hell..." Shaking his head, the guard replied, "thought the same until we saw some of them. They're... _scary_." "Define," said Finn.

As he and his companions listened, the guard spun a tale of horror with strangely functional _madmen_ working their way through the streets trying to outflank guard posts and ambush the troops. They were trying to get out of the section of town they had under siege. "How many in that part of town," asked Finn? "Four-thousand souls," said the guard. "I don't know how they haven't managed to just mass them all at once and smash the guard post." "We need to move, daddy," said Fionna. "The walls I put up don't block the sewers. If they figure that out..." The city was toast. "Alright," said Finn. "Let's get in there." Stepping in front of him, Ingrid retorted, " _we_ will go in, Your Highness. _You_ will stay here. Come along, girls."

The town was in rather an eerie state when the trio led the Banana Guard through the opening in Fionna's wall. The houses were locked down tight and many were without power even though the night was sweltering hot. And near to hand were two segments of Fionna's wall, jutting up from the street to separate portions of the city like a firebreak. They could see activity on the street–a few nervous guards on patrol–but the city was a powderkeg. "Masks," said Ingrid! The soldiers all slid masks on over their faces. "At the quick-time," she shouted. And then they began to march.

The frightened guards had given them directions to the trouble spot, and the Warrior Princess led them straight there. Star felt a sense of unease as they took the twists and turns. The ward with the curiously organized rioters was deep inside the city with three of Fionna's makeshift walls between it and the city's main drag. If things went sour, they would quickly be in the fight of their lives just to survive. This was a very bad place to be for a woman who wanted to get married and have kids, and not for the hundredth time did she think of quitting. She wanted to scream at Fionna, who's baby was barely months old. And though they were all in this against their will, and sacrifices _were_ needed, Fi was playing with fire.

Around them, the town seemed to close in as they approached the opening in the wall the rioters had been trying to get through. Star found herself tensing to the point where she was wound tight as a clock-spring. Her mind kept screaming that the houses around them could well be ambush-sites. They were in a death-trap and just too far in to easily make it out again. A glance at the gate was no real help. The guards there barely looked awake much less alert and ready for the fight inside the enclave. "Wait," muttered Star. Fionna and Ingrid both frowned at her. "They... why're they standing there like that..."

The drug-maddened citizens came screaming out of the darkened alleys and backyards on either side of the street, screaming and howling like banshees. The small troop of Banana Guards were immediately in the soup with crazies hitting them from all sides. Star laid out three men in rapid succession with lightning, while Fionna went into slice-and-dice mode on the spot. But there were just too many, and it was all Star could do to break free and try and get out of the press in spite of her terror at what would happen to her sister.

Back in the capitol, Bonnie, Sarah, and Nadia were immersed in the business of doing a live dissection on the madman on the table. Sedated as he was, he was still wide-awake, the spores pumping their deadly toxin into his brain and keeping him conscious. Nadia and Sarah were taking turns keeping him still using their superior strength, while Bonnie did a rather invasive examination of the interior of his sinuses. "Yeah," she sighed. "You were right, Sarah. It's growing. It's slow, but it's growing back. We're not going to be able to just cut it out. We're going to have to neutralize it somehow." It was bad news and a major setback.

The discovery of the spores and their growing network in the sinus cavity had been a boon. They were now able to direct their research and chase leads that would actually matter, and they'd already managed to get a dozen of the victims on Abeiuwa's cocktail of drugs. Problem was that nearly everybody was having relapses–bouts of unshakable madness that lasted for _hours_ in the worst cases. None of those people would be on the streets ever again unless they got this licked. And with Billy and Abeiuwa being two of 'those people', that was very bad news. "Dammit," snarled Princess Bubblegum! She came very close to throwing the instruments in her hands across the room. Nadia's hands caught hers. "We're getting closer, not farther," said the Grid-Face Princess. "Nadia's right, Bonnibel," said the android. "We _are_ getting closer. We've found and defused a lot of the nastier side-effects. We're in this. Don't lose hope."

 _They_ were also getting better. Maybe it was the desperation. Maybe it was exhaustion, but neither android nor creator were sniping at each other at the moment. They were working together, and neither one had a moment to spare for being nasty. Nadia was thinking of pressing Bonnibel for the password. They needed Sarah at her best–able to function without the irritating interruptions that kept cropping up each time she thought of going against Bonnie's wishes. The candy-monarch took a deep breath, thinking of Simone and Ragnhild. And Finn. She didn't want to let them down. Sure, she was mad at Simone, but that wasn't Billy's fault. Nor did it mean that Simone deserved to have her son turned into a meathead. Blowing out a breath, Bonnie said, "it's time we laid hands on Wildberry. She's the key to this. She did this to Billy, and likely one of her people did this to the victims from the riots. If we get Wildberry..."

Nadia gave her a look that said she had lost her mind. Wildberry was in her capitol, hundreds of miles away. She was on the far side of the Tesla Barrier, deep behind enemy lines, and Blargetha's army of tanks was waiting on them to just try crossing. Even did they reach Wildberry's capitol, they had to get through her army of carnivorous fruit-people. And then they had to deal with the creature who had generated these deadly spores herself! They not only had to deal with her, they had to drag her ass back here, preferably alive! "Hopeless," muttered Nadia. "No," said Sarah. "Androids don't have olfactory nerves..." Alarmed, Bonnie shouted, "out of the question!" Which immediately had Sarah clutching at her head in pain. "Thanks," she muttered. "I really needed that." "Sorry," Bonnie murmured.

Calmly, in spite of the pain, Sarah said, "it is the logical decision. Of all of us, I'm most expendable. I'm also the person with the third highest likelihood of succeeding." "Third," rumbled Nadia? She'd have put an unstoppable machine in first place. With a shrug, Sarah explained, "Finn has a sixty-five percent likelihood of getting in and getting out with Wildberry. His symbiosis with the Grass Sword would likely slow the infection and potentially make him immune to its primary effects. His speed would allow him to evade most of the threats." He would just be at risk of Maja catching him.

"Fionna's almost as fast now," said Sarah. "She doesn't have Finn's experience, so I give her a forty-eight percent chance. I'd have a very nearly thirty-nine percent probability of success, mostly because it's a long freakin' way there and back when you're dragging somebody who doesn't want to go along." "Out of the question," snapped Bonnie. Wincing, Sarah said, "will you stop fucking doing that?" Calmly, Bonnie said, "it is not acceptable to me that you do this, P-Bot. It will never be acceptable. You can cuss me, but I will not agree to this."

Sarah fired back, "why are you...?" It didn't make sense. "I do not agree," muttered Bonnie. "That's all you need to know." "Alright," whimpered the android. The pain vanished as quickly as it had come up. Calmly, Princess Bubblegum said, "we have a lot of avenues we can pursue, Sarah. We can pursue them without throwing ourselves into pointless risk." Nadia frowned at Bonnie's back. It almost sounded like the bitch actually cared. Again she thought of pressing the issue. _No good to do it while they're both present,_ thought the Grid-Face Princess. _She'd just go stubborn. It'll have to be when Sarah's sleeping._

As the trio were turning their attention back to the creature on the table, the palace security alarms began to blare. All three women stopped and looked up. "That's worrisome," said Nadia. Sarah shushed her. She had adopted a listening pose. "Intruders," she said. "Ground floor and sublevel 1." Bonnie mouthed, 'who?' "Unknown numbers," said Sarah. More than one. Nadia's worry ratcheted up. "Finn," she asked? Frowning, Sarah said, "Candy-Town's having a riot... Wait... somebody just cut external comms. We're isolated." They only had their personal phones, which were useless beneath hundreds of feet of earth and rock. Sarah immediately strode for the door, saying, "stay here."

Bonnie shot to her feet, but Sarah fixed her with a cool stare and said, "you can reduce my effectiveness, Your Highness, but you're going to stay here. I'm going. Lock the doors. Let no-one in..." "What will you do," asked Nadia? "First, I find Cherry," said the android. "Even if the guards are gone, she can get some of her men here. Then I get her, Drew, Lollipop, and the kids bunkered in. If I see Abeiuwa or Ragnhild, I'll send them here. My primary goal is to get all family members to safety and then get a message out." Calmly, Bonnie said, "be careful. You aren't built for combat." Sarah gave them a jaunty salute and shut the door on them. They could hear the locks sliding home. Bonnie sighed heavily, and when Nadia turned to face her, the Bubblegum Princess was staring down at the floor. She knew that look. Shame.

The android girl knew the trouble was serious when the lights went down just four minutes after she left the lab. This was no minor event. It was almost certainly Maja's doing. She was in sublevel seven–the bottom of Bonnie's dungeon and seven levels above the fusion reactor. Ducking into an alcove, the android plucked a fake stone from a wall, revealing a computer terminal. Logging on, Princess Bubblegum's doppleganger pulled up the access controls for the reactor compartment. In spite of the incessant feedback of her alarm algorithm, the android slowly worked her way down the list, disabling doors and scrambling locks. Then she sent the list of actions needed to undo the whole mess in an email blast to pretty much every member of the family.

By the time she was finished, voices from the stairs suggested she wasn't alone. It was one of the great ironies of her life that she could _feel_ the terror and, at the same time, objectively see it for what it was. It was maddening to want to run down the hall in a state of panic while she could clearly _see_ how counterproductive that was. Grabbing at her sticky hair, the artificial beauty found herself silently screaming, _stop it! Just stop!_ The panic wasn't helping. As in at all. _Plumbing conduit,_ thought the logical piece instantly followed by, _yuck! Cockroaches!_

Back in Candy-Town, Star found herself climbing from floor to floor in a run-down tenement and literally smashing stairs behind her. It had seemed like the whole flippin' town had gone crazy and come out in the streets against them. She'd gotten quickly separated from the others, and now she was fighting to get to higher ground. She feared that crowd had the power to overrun the few men guarding the checkpoints. She had to warn her daddy! If they rushed the checkpoints, they'd take the whole town and maybe spread beyond.

Coming out on the roof, the little woman glanced down. The streets were _full_ around the building. The citizens there stood waiting, zombie-like, for something. This wasn't good. Star drew her phone and dialed her dad. The phone rang and rang, but nobody picked up. "Dammit," growled the wood-nymph. Noises behind her suggested she'd better figure this out fast. She wasn't going back down the stairs! Her eyes flicked to the building next door. It was a long jump for her, but she'd placed third in All-City Track and Field. Gathering herself, the young nymph raced across the roof before hurling herself bodily across to the next building.

Hundreds of miles away, Maudie stood fidgeting outside Wildberry's bedroom. She was holding a phone, and waiting in terrified anticipation. The evil berry-person lay naked in a tub full of a warm meat-stew with a freshly grilled steak over her eyes. She was humming to herself in a weird, sing song voice and occasionally talking to someone(s) only she could see. She'd been this way for hours. At least she had after the end of her telecon with Blargetha. Shortly after that conversation, the bitch had come up here, gotten in the bath, and stayed. Maudie had come up to find out what was going on and ended up posted outside, waiting.

The waiting had gone on for _hours_. Oreva the Jungle King had come by periodically to refill that nasty tub and freshen the steak on Wildberry's face. It was kind of creepy the way he walked around with that glassy-eyed expression. Bathilde had hinted that Wildberry had gone for a ride on his pecker simply because she could, which made it all the more creepy. Honestly, Maudie was becoming as afraid of her _colleague_ as she was of Maja. She was _stuck_ though. Wildberry had laughed at Bathilde and Yolanda both for getting cold feet. Where were they going? Back to Bonnie? So she waited on Wildberry to call, while she prayed she could get out of this with her hull intact.

Wildberry, meanwhile, could see the nasty little wood-nymph through the eyes of her doppleganger, as Star Mertens went racing from rooftop to rooftop. She was disappointed. She'd hoped to get Finn himself. Instead, she'd gotten his nasty kids. This was a piece of things apparently the Game couldn't tell her. Finn was present, but he wasn't taking the bait. She was going to have to push this a little harder. Sweetly, she called out to Maudie, instructing her, "call Blargetha. Tell her to implement Phase 3." Maudie shivered at the strange way she said that. Still, she did exactly as she was told, speed-dialing the Slime Princess. Blargetha was on-the-spot with her answer. "Yes," the Slime Princess greeted her colleague? "It's Maudie," said Peanut Princess. "Wildberry wants you to start Phase 3." "Finn' still outside the city," Blargetha retorted. "Her instructions were clear," Maudie replied. She wasn't going in that room.

She'd always found it a little creepy that Wildberry obsessed over meat so much. It was a little off-putting, and you had to wonder if she looked on her fellows the same way–meat to eat. When they were in a collegial setting, chatting or playing cards, it was easier to deal with. When Wildberry was indulging her strange little fetish, it was creepy to the point of being upsetting. Just now Bathilde was doing her best to avoid this room, and Maudie didn't blame her in the least. "Get it done," snapped the Peanut Princess, and she hung up for good measure.

Back at Candy-Town, Blargetha stared out at the Barrier, thinking of the odds for the elite troops she'd sent sneaking around through Engagement Ring Kingdom. It had taken them weeks of sneaking around to get past the Barrier' southern-end and into the Candy Kingdom. They were precious assets, and she was being asked to risk them needlessly. At the same time, they didn't have a lot of options. Finn got stronger as time went on. There were rumblings from Orzsebet that others were contemplating taking his side. When those first trickles started, they'd soon be looking at an avalanche. Then they'd be finished. Picking up the radio, she sent the signal for the raid on the Barrier' generation system to begin. She had troops raiding the Candy Palace to shut down the power, and now she had troops going after the machinery itself. She hoped Wildberry had some idea what she was doing. If this failed, this was their last real throw of the dice.

Finn was considering going into Candy-Town when the truck carrying the terrified Grid-Face person came tearing up in the darkness. He'd heard nothing at all from Ingrid, Fionna, or Star, and he was growing increasingly concerned. They should have called in to report their status by now. There should have been _some_ sign of how things were going. As he was reaching for his phone for the tenth time, one of the nervous bananas shouted a warning. Finn glanced in that direction as a pair of headlights came racing in out of the night. The truck was riddled with holes, and it was clear the machine had been in some kind of fight. As the injured cyborg climbed out of the vehicle, Finn began barking orders. There was just one reason this man was here. Somebody was attacking the Tesla-Barrier's main generator.

Piling into some of the trucks that had brought them here, the guards went roaring out of there, racing around the perimeter wall of Candy-Town towards the distant generator. Finn's heart was pounding, and he was very tempted to just abandon the truck and race ahead himself. _Don't get ahead of yourself, man,_ he thought. It was tempting to rely on the deadly power of the curse, but there was a reason that most people were dead within weeks or months of being afflicted. The power was _too_ tempting. Knowing that Breezy's magic was keeping him alive, he had a real fear that if he pushed too hard, he'd somehow overwhelm the tenuous thread keeping him among the living. _Save it, man,_ he told himself. _You've got a ways to go here. You still have to shut down Maja and this Firebleeder. Save your strength. You'll need it._ It wouldn't hurt him to let the Guard do their _job_ for a change.

They rolled up on the Tesla-Barrier to find that there were dozens of figures there in the darkness, and they were armed to the teeth. The lead truck got showered with darts, killing the driver instantly. As the truck came rattling to a halt, a cannon blasted it to smithereens before the men inside could pile out. Twelve of his dudes had gone up in smoke, just like that. The rest pulled up short, bailing out of their rides and getting on the ground as the darts flew and that cannon continued to blast away. Finn found himself challenging his own admonition. If he just used his power now, he could take out the cannon, no sweat. _We're doing fine, Finn,_ he told himself. The Tesla-Barrier's defenses were keeping the enemy at bay. Apparently, Nadia's people had thought ahead.

The big man got up off the ground, issuing orders to his men as he did so. He sent a third around the enemy's flanks. The rest began to slowly crawl forward, hugging the ground as they moved, even as they exchanged fire with the enemy. Finn shouted encouragement at them, willing them forward into the fight. This was their time to show that they were ready to inherit the world instead of hiding behind Bonnie's skirts.

As the range came down, Finn began to get some idea of what he was dealing with. There weren't _many_ enemy troops here. He would have guessed a few dozen. That said that there wasn't some massive breach in the barrier somewhere. Likely they had slipped around one end or the other. Given the concentration of troops in the north, that likely meant they'd somehow evaded Marshall and Connie in the south and slipped in that way. In the now, the small numbers gave him a chance to sort this out.

Back in the town, Ingrid was showing his daughter what true generalship was about. After the madmen had piled in on them, Ingrid had somehow managed to keep control of the troops. Shouting orders and sometimes taking a direct hand in matters, she'd steered the guards into a narrow street and forted up behind rows of troops. They'd seen repeated clashes as the mad citizens of Candy-Town surged against them again and again, bashing into the wall of soldiers like waves on the beach. Fionna was impressed. At the same time, she knew that, no matter how strong the stone was, the beach inevitably got washed away. They were getting dangerously close to that with several of their dudes on the ground, and several more having gotten ripped out of the ranks and dragged away.

They were back in front of the ugly choice again. They could start killing them. Up to this point, Fionna had stayed her hand, and she had a suspicion that Ingrid had stayed her hand for the same reasons. Once they started killing Bonnie's peeps, they were making this whole business pointless. What would they say to the pink pain-in-the-ass? "They're coming back," shouted Ingrid! "Still nothing from dad," Fionna replied! The phones were dead! It was like the whole phone system in Candy-Town was shut down! "What do we do," asked the bad bunny? She could get away. She knew she could get away if she only tried it. But that would leave the guards in the lurch–and put all the blood on her hands for killing Bonnie's peeps besides.

Ingrid began giving orders once more. The orders shocked Fionna to her shoes. The blonde woman was ordering Fionna to take the majority of the guards with her and try to escape. She and the rest were going to try and hold off the horde. "Nah-uh," howled Fionna! "Those are my orders, General," said the princess. "Generals do what they're told." When the bunny-girl might have gone stubborn, Ingrid shut her down, saying, "if you stay, you're in the soup. Somebody has to go get your father. When you're gone, we'll make for one of the buildings and try to hold them off. Now, _get_."

Back in the palace, Sarah exited the maintenance crawl-way behind the dungeon cells and entered the basement. Wiping cobwebs off her face, she found herself muttering curses as she thought of what her hair looked like. It was another of the great ironies of her life. She was _born_ with sticky strands of gum for hair, and those strands just seemed to _love_ getting stuck on something. Just as she was thinking that thought, a wayward strand of hair drifted down in front of her face with a rather large cockroach hanging from it. The resulting ear-splitting scream likely could have been heard halfway to Candy-Town.

Cherry Cream Soda came out of her darkened office with Ragnhild in tow to find Sarah dancing in place and raking her fingers through her hair over and over again. "Ok," said Ragnhild. "What gives?" "Intruders," babbled the android, as she continued to dance. "Downstairs... Cut the outside communications..." Cherry nodded. That explained a lot. "Where's Bonnie," she asked? "Lab," babbled Sarah. "Where the hell have you been," asked the crime-boss? "In the maintenance tunnels," said Sarah, as she finally got the last of the nasties out of her hair. "I had to go around them. They've got control of the stairs." " _Fuck_ ," muttered Ragnhild. That basically meant that _they_ were going to have to use those same tunnels. "No help for it," said Cherry. "We need to get in the open. If I can get bars on my phone, I can call us some help."

As they were pondering what to do now, voices announced they were running out of time. Sarah herded the other two into the maintenance shaft and shut the door behind them, barring it from the other side with a length of pipe for good measure. They were in the soup now. There was nowhere to go but _up_. Drawing her phone, Sarah turned on the flash, stuck it between her teeth, and started climbing.

Down below, Nadia was climbing the walls as Bonnie calmly tried to sort out what was going on and how bad the damage was. At the moment, they still had the internal wireless signal but little else. The pink princess was surprised and delighted when the email message from Sarah popped up on her phone. The very last thing they needed was to lose the fusion plant. There was simply too much riding on it. Now she went to work on her tablet computer, casting her net wider, trying every means she could think of to get a message out. Riots in Candy-Town were nothing compared to the problem they had right here. She had a hunch that the whole business was meant to draw Finn to Candy-Town so Maja's peeps could hit the palace and shut down the power-source for the Tesla Barrier.

Unfortunately, she was hard against it, wracking her brain for ideas while Nadia paced and fumed. "You're a cyborg," muttered the Candy Monarch. "Turn down the emotions for a minute and help. We need to figure out how to get a message out. The more of us that are trying, the better our chances." Muttering curses, the Grid-Face Princess nonetheless came over to help. While Nadia was accessing schematics on Bonnie's phone, noises in the ventilation system suggested that things were taking a severe turn for the worse. They'd heard noises outside in the hall several times, and it was clear that somebody was trying the door. Sarah's work on the latches had kept that door firmly shut against the invaders. Now it appeared that maybe those invaders were trying to get around the door.

Bonnie picked up the headband-mounted lamp she'd been using and shone it at the wall vent. As she and her friend looked on in terror, green goop came oozing into the room. It came flowing fast and thick–so much so that it popped the grating out of the duct. Now, as the piece of metal crashed to the floor in a storm of noise, that goop flowed faster and actually began to take on a shape. _He_ was six-feet tall and built like a wall. Naked as a jaybird, he scanned the scene, taking in the sight of the two women sitting there at the table. It was one of Blargetha's mutated slime-people. Grinning an evil grin, he calmly reached over, grabbed a lamp, and smashed the light off the end, fashioning a crude spear. It appeared that the two princesses were in even _deeper_ trouble than first imagined.

As the pair watched, three more of the slime-men came oozing through the ventilation duct, and two brought real weapons. The quartet stepped forward, sending the two princesses backpedaling. Weapons at the ready, the Slime Guard herded the pair up against the back wall. Stalling for time, Bonnie said, "we can pay you double what you're being paid by Slime Princess. Cash money. I can set you up in Oceanside in a palace." The leader–the man with the crude spear–chuckled drily. Then, calm as anything, he raised that spear and drove it deep into Bonnibel Bubblegum's chest. As the oldest princess of them all toppled, the soldier said, "you're wanted _dead_." To his companions, he said, "take the other one. We're leaving."

 **Took longer than expected to get this one done. Work's been kicking my butt. :( So... Cliffhanger.**


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 36:

The Commanding General of the Fire Elemental Army, walked into his headquarters after a long absence. The office was humming as the staff rushed about putting the final touches on the General's master plan. They had been struggling for months now to get the whole thing off the ground, with business working on something of a shoe-string. After having things mostly his own way while his idiot sister was absent, he'd been forced to work through subterfuge. In small batches, he'd been shuttling pieces of his army around the kingdoms of Ooo, setting them up in whatever hot spots he could manage to find for them. Now at last, he was ready to move.

He had been struggling with this in more ways than one. Phoebe wasn't the only one to suffer under the abuses of their father. Flint had seen his mother exiled to the deadly wastes that hid the Devourer. He'd been forced to hide his own burgeoning power lest he suffer the same fate that Phoebe had suffered–being stuffed into a glass coffin like a prize in the throne room. He'd watched his father run their nation into the ground, slaughtering relatives who tried to stand up to him, and generally taking the kingdom in a bad direction.

For a time things had been better under his sister's rule. Phoebe had rescinded the death-edicts, though that had done little for either of their mothers. She'd saved several aunts, uncles, and cousins from meeting fate at the hands of the King's enforcers. Flint had breathed easier at the knowledge that he wouldn't be frozen for being too strong. He'd begun to court and live life as his sister consolidated power. So busy had the Flame King been that she had little time for anything resembling courtship beyond the strange empty relationship she'd had with the Candy-Traitor. Flint had been looking forward to Phoebe finally burning out and letting his offspring have the throne.

Then a funny thing happened.

Finn the Human had come back into their world. He'd come full bore, seducing the Flame King and begetting a monstrous half-breed child on her. He'd stuck his hands in Flame Kingdom politics, swaying Phoebe to commit precious time and resources that they didn't have towards a war that should never have been. Elementals had died in the Lich War and after–snuffed both by the ugly consequences of fighting the Lich and the bitter cold that had enveloped the north after the Lich fell. Far from taking care of their people and looking after their interests, Phoebe had been in the thick of the war. Then, at the height of the troubles after the Lich's second fall, Phoebe had abandoned the Fire Kingdom altogether. She'd been dealing with the fallout of raising her half-breed bastard. Now she was pregnant again, and this was the last straw. It was time for the Flame King to fall once more.

"Where are we," asked the would-be king? "In good shape, sire," replied his second in command. Indeed, as Flint listened, one by one his hand-picked lieutenants gave him the news that he'd been waiting for. They were ready. It had taken far longer to get through all the red-tape and barriers erected by Phoebe's so-called _allies_ outside the kingdom. That had led to endless difficulties in moving troops into place for the expected war of conquest. Now, after endless delays, their time had come. "Seal the Kingdom," said the General. "Cut off the phone lines. Shut down the border. Alert the outposts." His hand-picked lieutenants saluted as one, shouting their acclamations to him. Then they all headed off to see to their duties.

Down south in the Candy Kingdom, Fionna the Glass Witch led the troops on something of an odyssey. The minute they broke away from Ingrid, a vast swarm of the possessed came out of the buildings on either side and rushed them, seeming hell-bent on keeping them right where they were. Fionna was forced to improvise. Skillfully, she erected barricades on the fly, stopping and disrupting the charge as her troops fled. With Wildberry's insane puppets in hot pursuit, the pretty blonde fought a series of delaying actions, blocking them with barriers, maneuvering her troops up and down whatever cross streets presented themselves, and even fighting them toe-to-toe with heavy stone staves right alongside her troops. It was becoming increasingly clear that the whole business was about isolating the Banana Guard right here and keeping them where they were. _Which means there's a part two to the plan,_ thought the bad bunny. Question was, what was the plan?

 _What does it gain sourberry if we're stuck here,_ she asked herself? There were a number of ways to exploit the situation, but nearly all of them relied on the enemy being able to move in troops. That was hopeless with the Tesla-Barrier in place. Every way Fionna looked at it, that was a hopeless job. Unfortunately, with her perimeter was collapsing and the troops in real danger of getting surrounded again, she had little time to ponder all the permutations. Three crazies broke through the press and rushed straight for Fionna carrying clubs and bricks they'd pried up from the streets. Fionna found herself dueling them, doing her best not to inflict lasting damage. These people weren't the enemy. The creature that had done this to them was. A shock of pain went down her back as one of them bashed her across the shoulderblades with a club. As she was going down, a second tried to smash her skull with a brick–which promptly became sand on impact. The blow still stunned her, and her head was swimming when she conjured the glass daggers and stabbed two of her assailants in the legs, crippling them.

The pretty blonde backpedaled on her butt as the third guy came after her with a club. It was looking perilously like she'd be killing him when one of the Banana-dudes thumped him upside his head with a staff. The rogue bon-bon went down like a crooked prize-fighter. All around them, Fionna saw her dudes getting overwhelmed. And the scary thing was that the enemy was trying to pull their masks off. They needed to seriously get off the street. "The building," shouted Fionna! "Get inside the building!"

She sent the first hundred dudes through the door with orders to throw out anybody who was a threat and bunker down. Then she started the long, dangerous process of freeing up her guys and getting them to safety. By trickles of tens and twenties, she broke them out of the press and got them inside. That brought its own problems as the madmen began rushing the windows. Focusing her powers in spite of the headache she had, the Glass Witch conjured walls from the earth, walling off the lower floors, leaving just one opening in the front for her guys to get through.

Up on the rooftops, Star was playing hide-and-seek with the crazies unleashed on the town. She'd leaped from roof to roof, hoping to find her way past the mass of the possessed and get down to the ground again. That plan had quickly gone south when she hit _this_ place and found the enemy already here and waiting. It was abundantly clear that somebody was directing them. It was the only thing that made sense. As she sat crouched behind a ventilation unit, the young wood-nymph worked on that little problem, listening all the while to the mad whispers of the possessed. That was seriously creeping her out. They seemed to be talking to someone only they could see. Shifting to a more comfortable position within the piping's tangle, Star tried to zero in on what the hell they were saying. That's when she heard the sickeningly familiar voice.

Back in the palace, Sarah emerged from a manhole in Peppermint Butler's pantry to find the cowardly manservant hiding there. The evil butler hissed at Sarah until he got a good look at her face. "Oh, it's you, Miss Sarah," he burbled. "What brings you here?" With only a _hint_ of irony, the android said, "same as you..." Climbing from the maintenance shaft, Sarah bent and helped first Ragnhild then Cherry from the shaft. Cherry immediately drew her phone and checked signal strength. _Two bars,_ she thought. It would have to do. As Sarah assessed the situation outside the pantry, the gangster-girl dialed up Thor. As Peppermint Butler listened in worry, she gave the mafia-soldier very explicit instructions. When she'd hung up, the butler muttered, "the mistress will not like this..." "The mistress will like getting her head cut off even less," retorted Cherry. "Sarah? Where we at?" "Hall's clear, but I still hear them," she said. "This'll be tight." They had to make it to the stairs, and they would be at risk the whole way. "Drew's forted up inside the nursery," said Ragnhild, as she pocketed her phone. "Lollipop, Frenchie, and Bon are there too." "Alright," said Sarah. "Let's do this. Peps, you get drag. You're a magician. Get busy."

The reluctant warrior fell in at the rear as the little party set out for the stairs. Sarah strode confidently down the hallway, her senses alive for the possibility of ambush. Peps dusted their trail, praying that he wouldn't have to actually fight anybody. They took the turns fast, spending as little time in the hall as they could. Sarah could sense that there were commandos here too. She needed access to the network to start taking the fight to them, but she had to get everybody safe first.

As they were approaching the stairs, a commando stepped out. Sarah's fist was like a blur, pile-driving the slime-person's head into the wall and splattering it like goo. Yellowish bits of brain-matter announced that this particular soldier would never fight again. Ragnhild promptly emptied her stomach, and Cherry picked up the gun. Climbing the stairs, they encountered the second soldier. He was coming down as they came creeping onto a landing on the fourth floor. Sarah chopped his head off at his shoulders, causing his gooey innards to ooze out of his neck. Averting her eyes, Ragnhild stepped over the corpse, while Cherry picked up the gun.

Approaching the third floor, they heard two more commandos coming down and shouts from below told Sarah that their handiwork downstairs had been discovered. Telling Ragnhild to get small, she waded right in. The first man tried to stab her with his fighting knife. As the blade slashed along her rib-cage, she caught his head in her hands and tore it off, tossing the appendage at his friend. The stunned guard fired wildly at her, but Sarah picked him up and threw him off the landing to his death. Behind her, Peps and Cherry squared off with three dudes coming up from below, laying into them with blasts of fire and lightning and bursts of gunfire. "Move," shouted Sarah. The guards were aware of them now.

Rushing out onto the fifth floor, they raced towards the nursery. There were two more commandos there, with a third just coming around the corner with tools to try to force the door. Sarah rushed forward, but Cherry and Peppermint Butler beat her to the punch, laying out two of the men with gunfire and spells. Sarah bull-rushed the third man, shoving him into the wall. As he tried to raise his weapon, she tore his arm off and beat him to a pulp with it. In short order, they were alone in the hallway. Cherry and Peppermint Butler collected the weapons, while Ragnhild texted Drew to get the door open. In short order, the quartet was rushing through into the nursery, Sarah carrying an armful of weapons and ammunition.

Inside, they found much of their family gathered. Bon, Frenchie, and Lollipop were there, looking after the kids. Drew was there, and her two patients, Breakfast and Toast, were in the corner, with the older sister trying to calm a terrified Toast Princess. _Phase one, done,_ thought the android. "Ok," she said. "I'm out." Drew got in her way, but Sarah said, "Nadia and Bonnie are still in the lab. I have to get back to them and get them up here. Cherry's got troops on the way..." The emotions were there, naked on the doctor's face. She didn't like this plan. Sarah silently pleaded with her not to make a scene out of this. They all had their parts to play. This was hers. Cherry said, "take a gun. No point being defenseless." As the android woman slung the rifle over her back, Drew reluctantly got out of her way. Then Sarah went back out in the hall, bound for the laundry-chute. It was the fastest way down to the basement. Behind her, Cherry supervised the job of locking and barricading the door.

Back in Candy-Town, Fionna backpedaled into the tenement, fighting a delaying action as the last of her dudes got to safety. When she stepped through the doorway, a wall of stone came jutting up from the ground, blocking the entry off. They were sealed in. This was as good as they were getting. "Search," she said. "Find any zombies. That's job one." Then she would have to start the job of finding them a way out of this trap. They had just the tiny bit of rations they'd been carrying. Many of the men had lost their packs and other kit, taking them down to just their weapons. They couldn't stay here. They'd be starved out if they did.

Apartment by apartment the men searched. They found few if any of the possessed. Apparently most of them were already outside in the street. That gave Fionna a little more confidence. Moving on with her plans, she had them gather up what food they could find in the various apartments and studios, bringing it all to a central location. "Lot of nothin'," she muttered as she took stock of what they had. They couldn't stay here. She had several hundred dudes here with her, packed into this building, limited food, and they were surrounded by crazies. _Think, Fionna,_ she told herself. What could she do? Roof? She'd seen crazies up on some of them. If she went up, she might be fighting them up there–where there was a greater risk of hurting them. _Down's the only way,_ she decided. It looked like she would be getting rather nasty.

Back at the palace, Sarah crouched among the dirty diapers, listening to the sounds of the dungeon. Her mind was bouncing between the current crisis and the near future. They had commandos all over the building now. If the risk to the Royal Family wasn't enough, the commandos had access to Bonnie's office, Finn's office, and everything else. There was a real risk of these men escaping with detailed intelligence on Finn's strategy. That could be disastrous. _One thing at a time, Sarah,_ she told herself. She needed to get Bonnie and Nadia to safety.

Taking a deep breath, the sex-droid slipped into the darkened corridor. She had to get down seven levels. Weapon at low-ready she set out. Creeping along, she found herself listening at every door when she was tempted to run all out. Time wasn't on her side. Her friends were in terrible danger. The fear was nearly overwhelming, and she understood if only in part just how much this affected Finn. As she approached the laboratory level, the android woman took a series of breaths. This was the time for calm. Her friends needed her calm. Once again the irony of her situation as a contradictory mess of humanoid emotions and machine logic reared its head. _Don't fuck up,_ she told herself before darting into the corridor.

The heavy security door was open as Sarah approached. That was an ominous sign. She was too late. The commandos had gotten in somehow. _Slime people, Sarah,_ thought the android-girl. _They may be able to compact themselves or change their shape._ That would have let them get around the barricade and enter the lab. Her fear ratcheted up a notch as she approached. She didn't hear voices, so that meant the others were likely gone. Question was, how long? Coming up to the door, the android beauty glanced in–just in case–and came face to face with a horrifying sight. Bonnie. Slumped on the floor in a pool of blood. The evidence of how she'd died was there on the floor.

The tears were falling even as the android-woman stepped forward. Those first steps became a rush as she went tearing up to her creator and nemesis. Feeling for a pulse, even as her logic-circuits told her there wouldn't be one, Sarah Mertens found emotion coming close to overwhelming logic once more. She couldn't have told you how a flesh-and-blood person would have managed the panic and horror she felt right now. She'd guessed wrong. She'd assumed that this was a safer place than following her through the halls and back-passages of the palace. This was _her_ fault.

Hefting the dead woman, Sarah moved to the examination table. The madman was still there, but that was no problem at all for an android with superhuman strength. In short order, Sarah was laying her creator and benefactor out on the now-empty table. Bustling around the room, she got out bottles of Type C Negative, setting up an IV, even as her eyes took in the sight of the open ventilation grate. That was how they'd gotten in. This was all taking time. It was time she didn't have. It was time Nadia certainly didn't have. But there was no way to rush this. Done with the IV, she tore open Bonnie's ruined and bloody blouse, revealing the wound that had taken the Bubblegum Princess's life. _Preparations complete,_ she thought.

Reaching down, she tore open one leg of her pants. Drawing a scalpel from the instruments on the lab table, she carefully slit open her own thigh, wincing in pain and disgust as her own blood spilled out on the ground. A remote corner of her mind was aware of her body's defenses working to seal the wound, even as she drew out the contents. Unscrewing the cap, revealed a syringe with the decorpsinator serum she'd mixed up what seemed an age ago. It was a backup plan. When it became clear that Cherry was closing in on her goal, the android woman had mixed the serum up as a way of saving her creator's life from the certainty that Cherry was going to end it. When the crisis had ended, Sarah had held onto the syringe, waiting for a day like today. Now she jammed the needle deep into Bonnibel's heart and emptied it.

There was no reaction at first. Indeed the immortal woman lay there for many moments until Sarah honestly began to fret. _C'mon,_ she whispered. _C'mon, damn you! Breathe!_ Bonnie didn't so much as move a muscle. _Glob, please,_ begged the artificial hottie. _I don't know if you're real or not, but I need this. Glob, I need her back!_ Bonnie's eyes popped open, and she took a deep, deep breath. Then, she shouted, "let go of my leg, motherfucker! You let me go!" And then she was staring up at Sarah. "I... Uh...," the android babbled. Staring down at her bloody chest, Bonnie could very well see what the android had done. "I didn't give you the formula," she rumbled. "Cherry inadvertently did when she had me testing it," replied Sarah. Bonnie frowned up at her doppleganger, but Sarah was already moving on. She was trying to, anyway.

"You lost a lot of blood, and you've been dead for quite a while, so you're going to be a little weak," she said. "I'm going to seal the room. Then I'm going after Nadia. You stay here and let the IV do its thing. Cherry's got help on the way. Sit tight until they get here." Bonnie's hand on her wrist stopped her. "We'll talk later, ok," said the android-woman, as she jerked away. They had baggage, but this wasn't the time to go digging through it. Sarah blocked the ventilation port with some heavy machinery before locking her rival in the lab once more. She knew where the commandos were going now. They were headed down to the reactor. It was what she would have done with a Grid-Face person as their prisoner. Put a gun to her head and order her to open the door.

Stopping off along the way, the android uncovered another hidden terminal and logged in. Just as expected, she could see some of the sabotage she'd done on the security system had been undone. Nadia's work. It wasn't all undone. Likely she was stalling. With a humorless smile, Sarah used the Root password that Bonnie didn't know she had and began sabotaging things on a level that Nadia had no hope of correcting. Not without Root access.

Down at the reactor, the tall princess frowned at the flashing red screen. "What does that mean," growled the angry soldier. He'd made it perfectly clear that she could easily join Bonnie in the afterlife. Nadia had her baby to think of. She'd been slowly working her way down through the list of security protocols, doing her best not to get shot in the process. Now there was a new player in the game. Sarah. She knew it was Sarah. Only a pure machine could have beaten her at this game. "Someone has access to Root," muttered the proud princess. "What the fuck's that mean," growled the soldier? His itchy finger went to the trigger on his rifle. "Shoot me or don't," retorted the Grid-Face Princess. "Root is the highest security level. They have more control over the system than I do. I can't unlock the door while they're interfering."

The soldier gave vent to a stream of profanity. This was already taking much too long. The distraction at Candy-Town wasn't going to keep Finn the Human away forever. They were supposed to have gotten that forcefield down by now, and they were still struggling just to get in the door. It had taken them forty minutes just to locate the fucking princesses. Now this. The chief commando was feeling a little antsy. He'd seen a target of opportunity, and he'd taken it. He'd killed the pink princess just as ordered, but now he was starting to think that had been hasty. She'd built this place. She would have had the highest level of security. She could have thwarted their problem and gotten the doors open. Then he could have smoked her. _Too late now,_ thought the soldier. Barking orders, he sent three of his men back the way they'd come with orders to search for any hidden terminals or computers.

Outside Candy-Town, Finn was wrapping things up at the Tesla-Barrier. The commandos had gone down swinging, putting fifty of his men on the ground. In spite of the many chances he'd given them to surrender, they'd chosen to die in place with the dudes manning the cannon being particularly stubborn. They'd wiped out twenty of his men at one go, and he'd had to rush in and do them in rather personally.

None of this was making sense and the broken phone system and lack of news from Ingrid were making him very nervous. As his men got the site of the Tesla-Barrier's generation system secure, the big man was considering whether or not he should go looking for his wayward wife and kids. He was standing in the doorway, staring off into the darkness in the direction of the border–and the army of tanks and Slime-Guards on the far side–when Fionna came zipping up out of the darkness.

"Daddy," she shouted! Finn's face snapped over as Fionna very nearly bowled him over. "Sorry, daddy," she burbled. "Misjudged the distance." "What's going on," he asked? Her clothes were torn in several places, she had fresh bruises scattered across her body, and she stank of sewage. "We got jumped, daddy," she replied. "They were laying out for us. There's thousands of dudes in there who've gone all zombie-like." Finn brushed past her, and she knew what he was thinking. "Stepmom sent me to get help, but I couldn't get the dudes out. We had to fort up in a building." "Why didn't you call," he asked? "Phones are out, daddy," replied the bad bunny. One of the Grid-Face people said, "all the circuits are in use. They've been in use for hours." Finn frowned in suspicion. There were no coincidences in a war. "Not dead," he asked? " _Busy_?" At the Grid-Face person's confirming nod, the big man said, "we're supposed to be here. They're hitting the capitol."

Pretty much everybody on the scene stared at him in puzzlement as they tried to follow that train of logic to conclusion. Turning to his daughter, the big man said, "get back west, Fi. Go as far as you need to. Find the spot where you hit the Capitol's phone-circuits. Find out what's going on back there. Back the moms up if you have to." "W-what...," Fionna stammered. "You think they're in danger?" "I _know_ it," he replied. Fionna was gone in the blink of an eye, racing west. Turning to the cyborg engineer, the King said, "monitor the phones. Call for help as soon as the lines are open again." And then he too was gone.

Up on the rooftops, Star was playing cat-and-mouse with the bitch who'd bent her brother's mind. "C'mon out, kid," said Wildberry. "There's only so much real-estate up here. You can't hide forever, and we've got this place surrounded." "Why," retorted Star? "So you can try and turn me into a meathead?" The rotten berry replied, "that's rich, kid, you being a meat-eater like me. I thought I'd offer you a chance to live. To work with me. I'm killing the rest of them. They suck, and I hate them. But I could give a useful idiot like you a new job." As she spoke, she tried to triangulate the source of that voice. The little bitch was dangerous up here. She'd been doing all she could to keep Finn's fools on the ground where she had the advantages.

Chuckles off to her right drew her attention as Star declared, "but I know you're going to get stabbed in the heart by Maja. She ain't a people-person. Sooner or later, she's going to do your sorry ass. That would just leave me at her mercy too." The sour berry calmly edged up on the spot where she thought her enemy was. "I guess I can eat your fucking heart too, then," she said, as she and her minions pounced. Tearing aside the ductwork where they'd heard the wood-nymph's voice, the zombie candy-folk revealed a phone turned onto speaker mode. "Wireless head-set," chuckled Star. "Dumbass." Bolts of lightning and several blast-darts tore up the zombies. It was ratcheting up the devastation of Bonnie's peeps, but Star was in a desperate spot. She needed to prune back the odds a little bit because _she_ wasn't leaving this roof in a body-bag.

As Star played cat-and-mouse, Ingrid the Warrior Princess was deep in her own sort of hell. She'd hung on with the few troops she didn't send with Fionna, husbanding them best she could. They'd gotten in off the street, losing a couple dozen in the process. Some had their masks snatched off. Others were bashed in the head and knocked unconscious. A few were genuinely dead. Then they'd gotten jumped in the building itself, with the remaining tenants seeming to come out of the woodwork to go after them. It was like something out of a horror-story.

The Warrior Princess had fought on, with her troops falling one by one–getting butchered and stabbed, bashed in the head, or dragged off to an uncertain fate. It was a lot like the chaotic battle that Clarence had stirred in her kingdom. He'd come at her with over a third of the kingdom's fighting-age men at his side. She should easily have carried the day with most of the other two thirds of the army at her back. She likely would have if the Gulbrands hadn't turned their coats in the middle of the battle. Taking Clarence's side in the promise of more reward, the Gulbrands had very nearly thrown the battle to the usurper. It was only Ingrid's meticulous planning, Clarence's rather poor skills as a general, and Ingrid's warrior spirit that had carried the day. In the swirling chaos of the battlefield, she'd found her so-called husband, intending to strike him down.

 _You failed at that,_ said the voice. _You failed at that as you're failing at this. You let your emotions get the better of you._ She wanted to refute that, but she knew it was true. Ingrid the Warrior Princess, who'd dared to _take_ the throne from her brutal mother, had gone soft in that moment. She'd taken one look at Clarence's face and remembered those soft words, and she'd stayed her hand. And gotten a knife in the heart as a reward. _So what will you do, now, princess,_ asked the voice? _Will you be soft again?_

She could hear the voices. They were getting closer. They were closing in on her. She'd gone up and up in the old building, doing her best to keep ahead of them. She was supposed to be protecting these people. That was the task set her by Finn. _It's a fool's task, my Angel,_ said the voice. _You know what you need to do._ Smashing a lock, Ingrid darted into an empty apartment, finding herself alone. There were no more guards at her side. The last of them was long-since fallen. She was alone. _Always alone, my Angel,_ said the voice. _Alone, but for_ me _!_ The mindless were coming.

They came in the apartment's back door, tromping into the kitchen on shuffling feet. They came in the front door, shuffling forward. _That one on the left,_ said the voice. _He was to die of a heart-attack. It's there in his chest right now... just waiting._ Almost of its own will, the tall blonde's hand reached out, and she touched the mindless candy-person. He immediately wilted, clutching at his chest. _That one dies of lung-cancer,_ said the voice. _You can see it... The filthy dust that chokes his lungs even now..._ When she touched this one, he began to wheeze and cough, slowly shuffling to a stop before dropping dead before her feet. The voice whispered to her of all the ugly ways these people would have died had not her foe gotten there first. And the Angel killed them. She killed them one by one with only a touch.

Up on the rooftop, Star continued to play her cat-and-mouse game. In the darkness with the lights knocked out, she slipped around the zombies. Unlike real undead, they couldn't see her, and it appeared her annoying nemesis couldn't see her either. Coolly, the wizard circled, picking off the madmen, onesie-twosie, even as she found herself sweating under the stifling mask she was wearing. She just needed that opening. Step by step, she was winning her way towards it. Standing in the shadows of a water-tank, she watched the berry-bitch draw a phone out of the pants she was wearing, and momentarily she heard her foe issuing instructions to someone. _Reinforcements,_ thought Star? It was what _she_ would have done. She had a solution for that, though.

Carefully crafting an illusion of herself, she had the ghostly wood-nymph pop up on the far edge of the roof, an act that got the entire horde of meatheads headed that way. Swift and quiet as death, the wizard crept up on the entry to the stairwell. She'd need to seal it before more of them came to spoil the party. A handy piece of pipe would do for that. As the wizard worked to jam the metal rod into the doorhandle, a chuckle from behind told her she wasn't alone. "Pretty slick," said the sour-berry. "You would have fooled me if I hadn't tricked you first..." With a heavy-hearted sigh, Star asked, "you didn't really call for reinforcements, huh?"

Grimacing in distaste, Star turned to find the horde of meatheads between her and escape. She was cornered up against the stairwell, and she really wasn't sure she should believe this bitch hadn't called for help. She'd been talking to _someone_. "Take her," growled Wildberry! The meatheads moved in, wielding clubs and bricks and anything else they'd found laying around. Apparently they weren't interested in her mask anymore. Fortunately, the berry-bitch didn't even _see_ the arrow in the wizard's hand. As the crazies closed on Star, the wizard blasted the pack of them, hurling bodies this way and that. The blast was almost deafening, and it even flattened berry-bitch too.

"I hedge my bets," said Star, as she approached the broken and bleeding berry-person. The zombies on the roof were motionless now, and her foe was bleeding and badly. There was a high probability that she was going to check out. Not that Star cared, really. Reaching out, she grabbed the phone the bitch was holding. Staring at the screen, the wizard frowned at what she was seeing. "Dial program," she rumbled?

Raising the phone to her ear, she was astonished to hear a multitude of voices coming through the phone. It was like a massive teleconference going on all at once. _The_ phones _,_ thought Star! _This is what happened to the phones!_ Berry-bitch was running some kind of crazy teleconference software that was eating up all the lines. And shockingly she could still hear berry-bitch's voice coming through that line, even though the woman on the roof was breathing her last. Star's eyes went wide. _A clone,_ she thought. It had to be. She couldn't see the sour-berry putting her own life at risk like this. That led to other thoughts. There was clearly more than one here, and they were working together on this. Now the wizard saw a way to get them out of this, and this phone held the key.

Back in the basement of the Candy Palace, Sarah heard the sounds of approaching footsteps. She'd been playing cat-and-mouse with Nadia for a while. Knowing the possible consequences of outright blocking her friend, she'd let the cyborg woman win a couple of rounds in her quest to unlock the fusion reactor. At the same time, she'd been playing a hunch. If she was a hostile soldier trying to execute a strike mission against a prime target like the reactor, she wouldn't hesitate to smash whatever was blocking her way. She'd have troops on the way back upstairs to find the rogue terminal and put whoever was using it out of commission. Now she heard signs that her hunch was right. It was time to get busy.

Upstairs, Thor found himself dealing with a pack of heavily armed commandos. It was the kind of crazy that he'd never have imagined in a million years. Crouched behind the shattered hulk of the SWAT van with the sole remaining Guard officer at his side, the big man did the math. His boss was in there. His boss was in there, his lady was gone–who knew where–and he was facing down long odds. The men he led were patriots, all. They were the same sorry lot that had done so much to beat back the Lich. Unfortunately, they weren't soldiers. They were gangsters. "No heavy weapons," he asked? "No," shouted the excitable guard. It was clear this wasn't going to get solved by superior firepower. They needed something to get those guys away from their cover. If they could pull them into the open, the men he was leading could get them. _Or we could blind them,_ thought the mob-soldier.

Turning to the frightened banana, the big man said, "need you to get me a trash-truck. Get me one full of flammable shit. Paper. Old food. Anything that burns." "Had a yard-waste drive last week," said the guard. "Perfect," said the gangster. Ducking and running half-crouched over, the Banana Guard rushed back out of range of the guns and back into the city. Thor hoped he was actually going to get the trash-truck. He was going to peel the fool if he didn't.

The big man found himself waiting for a fair bit. The commandos eventually quit shooting–likely conserving ammunition for the big push. Thor let them hunker down. His guys couldn't move in until he had that fire going anyway. In those empty moments between spurts or raw violence, he thought of his lady and how he wanted things to go with them. He'd always wanted a pair of big, strapping boys, but he knew that wasn't in the cards now. He'd get daughters, but he was alright with that. He'd teach them all he knew, just like Star's father had taught his daughters. And he'd pray that his girls grew up to be just as brave and wonderful as their momma.

While he was wool-gathering, a burning garbage truck drove onto the scene. It was in full-flame, with thick black smoking billowing behind it, and their idiot banana was behind the wheel. Muttering curses, Thor nonetheless rose up as the truck went roaring by, and shouted for his men to follow him. This was it. This was the day they were men and not dogs hiding from their sins. Rushing forward, even as the commandos began laying down fire, the gangsters and the handful of cops still on the scene raced into the smoke.

The palace door was heavily defended, and a dozen commandos opened up at close range when Thor knocked that door in. Steel darts clipped his right shoulder and thigh, and he realized that he was quite close to checking out there in that hall. Nevertheless, he chopped down the first man he came to, chopping off arm and gun in one motion before hurling a dagger at the man's buddy. Two SWAT dudes moved in with their guns, taking up position and offering covering fire as the gangsters ran the gauntlet, racing the length of the hall to get to grips with the men at the other end. Thor, who was busy taking out the men in the doorway, watched three of his guys go down. The rest kept right on going, getting in close and shooting or stabbing the commandos at close-range. The big man exhorted his men to grab what weapons they could. Then they went prowling deeper into the palace. _Upstairs, first,_ he thought. The Royals were upstairs.

Down in the Reactor-Room accessway, Nadia was in the middle of her own little crisis. One of the commandos was breathing down her neck, watching insistently as she did her best to break through Sarah's encryption. For every trick she tried, there was a counter. She was having some success at it, but she would have had to admit the android was fiendishly skilled at this. It was one of those moments where it would have been nice to enjoy the neural-net with her friends and countrymen. She could have brute-forced her way through most of this already. "C'mon," growled the lead commando! "How much longer?!"

As he was uttering those words, she suddenly broke through. "Something's happened," babbled the cyborg-hottie. Her mind immediately went to Sarah and the men sent to search for her. Tears welled up as she realized what this meant. She'd lost another dear friend. A part of her would have gladly let the twisted wench try out all those dirty ideas floating around in her head. It would be worth a little freaky action to have her friends back.

As the commando was considering going inside, a radio-call interrupted his thoughts. "One down, boss," said the other commando. It was one of the men who'd gone looking. Now Nadia broke down, bawling her eyes out as she realized they'd killed Sarah. "You ain't got nothin' to cry for yet," snarled the head commando, as he grabbed her by the arm. Half-pushing, half-dragging the cyborg princess, the bad man strode into the vastness of the reactor chamber. Standing on a balcony overlooking the massive toroidal structure, he turned to the princess and demanded, "tell me how to blow that thing up..." Nadia balked at that. Her usefulness ended when she'd done all he asked. "Your usefulness can end right now," said the commando, as he leveled a pistol on her.

Footsteps in the outer chamber alerted them that the others were coming back. "Where you at, boss," asked the wayward soldier? "We got inside," said the chief-commando. "Ok," said the man. "On my way in..." Nadia trembled, and her anger rose as she thought of her friends dieing ugly deaths for Wildberry's hubris and rage. Shortly, though, she was occupied with survival as Sarah came through the inner door. "Hey," said she. The startled leader babbled, "I-I killed you!" "I got better," retorted Sarah. And then it was on, with the remaining commandos opening fire on the android at point-blank range. With all of them standing there on that catwalk and Nadia in amongst the others, the android couldn't take the easy shots. She had to be very careful of darts sailing right through her targets and into her friend. She ended up getting shot seventeen times in spite of her speed. The commandos got the worst of it, though.

As the last commando fell to his death, Sarah fell to her knees there, her body torn up by steel darts and her artificial flesh hanging off her in places. Nadia rushed forward and threw herself on Sarah, hugging her. "I-I'm ok," wheezed the android–though her vision was clouded by red tell-tales. Nadia hefted the wounded machine and carried her out of there. "They killed Bonnie," she sniffed. "Yeah, no," said Sarah. "She's waiting on us. Got her plugged into an IV." The cyborg-woman goggled at her. Sarah grinned a crooked grin and said, "there's an advantage to being made of candy, Nadia..." And she told her friend about the decorpsinator serum.

Back on the rooftops of Candy-Town, Star Mertens was deep into another cat-and-mouse game with Wildberry. Or rather with her clone. She was certain of it now. She'd seen glimpses of the creature as she'd chased it up and down stairs and across rooftops crowded with machinery and hidden meatheads. She had the phone, though. She had the phone the other clone had been using, and it was helping her home in on her foe. Wildberry had locked the phones in peer-to-peer mode, and every time the young wood-nymph got closer, the signal jumped. Just now, she was at five-bars–the highest level yet. She was close. She was within spitting distance if the signal was that strong.

She'd been using the bitch's own orders to dodge the mindless minions who stood in the way. Berry-bitch was using those people's own phones to control them, linking them one to another in an endless cascade. It was something worthy of Bonnie and far more intelligent than Star would have given the bitch credit for. It also allowed Star to hear the bitch's orders real-time, enabling her to skirt the edges of the ambushes laid to trap her. They were trying to get her mask off at the least. Wildberry wanted her dead, but she was trying to get the mask off her face. Then she could turn Star into a meathead too. Just now, it was time to roll the dice. Star had to dial the volume all the way down on the captured phone to avoid giving herself away, but she'd lose awareness of where the meatheads were.

Berry-bitch was in this building. She was just steps away. Star carefully eased open the door to the stairs and crept inside. This was always the dangerous part. The meatheads would often be waiting just beyond the door to smash her to a pulp. This time nobody was home. Frowning in worry, the wizard slowly made her way down the stairs, step by careful step. Still nobody popped out at her. She could faintly hear the bitch giving orders, gathering up people, and the sounds made Star very worried. There were a _lot_ of phones nearby. Step by step, Star made her way down. And then that nightmare voice called out once more. With the phone dialed down, Star almost missed it. Grabbing for the gadget, she put it to her ear, straining to hear, a part of her wishing she'd taken the time to pair-up her earpiece.

"You're not going to succeed, little cunt," said Wildberry. "Not without killing hundreds." Star frowned at those words. Was that? "I know you're here, Star Mertens," said the clone. "I know you're in this building, but you'll have to kill hundreds to get to me. Is that what you want?" Star shivered. What did that mean? As the signal ticked over to a sixth bar, Star realized she'd arrived. Opening the door on the target floor, she found herself facing a shocking sight. The hallway was full of people. It wasn't just _full_. It was fucking _packed_. You couldn't really have slid a Card Wars card between them, and Star thought some of them might be having trouble breathing. "You can't win, cunt," said Wildberry. "I'm gonna' sic 'em on everybody left in the town..." Star did the only thing she could do just then. She broke the chain.

She could _hear_ the effect as it cascaded down the chain of phones, breaking the linkage across the length of the town as all the phones went offline at once. And then she heard the scream of rage. Star turned and headed down the stairs. She had a general idea where that sound had come from. The flat at the very end of the hall. The bitch had intended to make her kill her way through every person in that hallway and then some. The strategy had one fatal weakness though. It seemed the bitch could only command people in close proximity to her. She wasn't likely to be getting out of that corner room. Not for quite a while.

Across town, Finn the King found himself facing the shocking sight of literally hundreds of people aimlessly wandering in the streets. After what Fionna had told him, he'd been expecting to have to _fight_ his way through to Ingrid and Star. Now he was able to take his time, and he didn't have to hurt any of Bonnie's peeps. Following Fionna's last directions, he went to the place where his lady had chosen to make her stand, working his way through the streets. Surprisingly, as he walked, Cherry called. "Hey, babe," he said. "Kind of busy... What's up?" Coolly, the gangster-girl said, "Fionna thought you would like us to call and let you know we're alright." Finn stopped where he was, his eyes continuing to watch the milling crowd of madmen.

"We got invaded by commandos," said Cherry. "Sarah got everybody to safety in the nursery. We hunkered down, while Thor took care of business downstairs." Finn blew out a relieved breath. "Sorry, I...," he started to say. "We're _ok_ , Finn," said Cherry. "You do what you need to do, honey. We'll see you tomorrow." Finn asked, "can I talk to Sarah?" His voice told just how worried he was about the android-girl. Knowing what Sarah had been going through, Cherry understood. Glancing over to where Drew was examining Bonnie's chest, while Bonnie simultaneously worked on Sarah's shattered left arm, she said, "sure, honey. Sarah's kind of busy, so it'll have to be quick..." She handed off the phone to the android-woman.

"Hey, babe," said Sarah, her voice noxiously cheerful as ever. Drew couldn't help rolling her eyes as the android subtly manipulated their husband with all the skill that her creator had shown over the years. By the time she hung up Cherry's phone, Sarah had Finn more or less convinced that the whole thing with the commandos was a non-event. Fionna was almost ready to howl laughter. When that dangerous conversation got done, Fionna turned to go. Drew cut her off, saying, "enough with the curse, Fionna." "But daddy's...," Fionna started to say. "Enough, young lady," retorted the doctor. "You just _ran_ all the way back here from Candy-Town. You're going to take a break tonight. Doctor's orders." Six identically frowning faces gave her to understand that this wasn't a negotiation. With a sigh, the leggy blonde agreed.

Back in Candy-Town, Finn resumed his search. He was close now, and he began to see signs of the battle that Ingrid and Fionna had fought. There were dead laying in the streets now, and a lot of them were Banana Guards. They'd fought hard to hold the line and avoid killing their own people, but there had been just too many crazies. Just now, those same people were wandering about in a fog as if they had no idea what they had just done. Warily, Finn walked into the narrow alley where Fi had left Ingrid. And that's when he saw her.

The tall blonde came stumbling out of one of the buildings in a fog. She'd lost most of her armor, and even her sword, causing Finn to feel a surge of terror. That feeling got no better when she just stood there on the stairs of that building, staring into space. Finn rushed up to her, and Ingrid found herself staring down at the man she'd called husband. After the awful moments she'd spent in that building, she was completely unprepared to see him, and she burst into tears. Finn rushed up the stairs and snatched her off her feet, all but crushing her in his massive arms. The blonde woman cried on him in a storm of emotion that went on for ten long minutes.

Finn stroked her back and whispered soothing words in her ear, telling her, "I'm here, baby. I'm here. It's gonna' be ok. We're ok..." Slowly the trembling stopped and the tears ceased. This time when she pressed those feverish lips to his, he didn't push her away. His powerful arms enfolded her as they shared a heated kiss, their tongues teasing at each other. Pressing her hardened body against his, the beautiful woman began grinding her hips into his, causing his fat dong to rise. She could _feel_ that, and she boldly pressed him, whispering, "I need you, honey. Please..." Finn, who had a double-handful of her hard little ass, slipped his hands under the hem of her dress and began to squeeze and caress that magnificent bottom with his powerful hands. He was a little startled to realize she'd been wearing silk panties–a far cry from the tough-girl image she put forward.

The big man slipped a meaty left hand under the waist of her panties and got skin-on-skin with her hot body. At the same time, he reached up, unzipped the back of her dress and caressed her smooth skin. The tall woman pressed her face against the crook of his neck, moaning softly as he began to touch her. She waited for him to ravage her, but he seemed to scarcely be in any hurry. Indeed, the big man stopped for a moment, and she feared he would stop altogether. Instead, he spun her around, slipped his arms around her, and went back to what he'd been doing.

"Finn," she moaned, as his big right hand caressed her boobies, "aren't you...?" He said not a word, but continued to tease her body. He pressed the tip of a finger against her button, causing her to squeal, but more was coming as he began to slowly and sensually rub that finger around. Her thighs clenched up on his hand as the strange sensations surged up her spine. Nibbling at her ear, the big man reached down, grabbed one of her knees and pulled her legs open again, giving him access. "B-baby," she whined as he continued to pleasure her. "I-I thought..." As his right hand gently glided across her hard little knobs, making the tips stand out like fingers, he shushed her.

Slipping a hand down the front of her panties, he slid two fingers up and down her hot snatch, while he sucked at her neck like a fiend, causing her to shudder and shake. Her hands clawed at his wrists where they were teasing her body, and she tried to fight off the feeling. Finn was relentless, though. His hands relentlessly pleasured her beautiful body until at last she went surging over the edge, whining and shaking like a leaf. Finn pushed her hot body up against the wall and jerked the panties down from her slim hips. As she gasped after breath, the big man slipped his big dong up against her snatch and slid it back and forth between her firm thighs, sending shivers through her body once more.

She found herself overwhelmed by fear and longing. She wanted this. Strangely enough, with the moment on them, she wanted this more than she'd ever wanted anything. At the same time, she was terrified of being interrupted and even more terrified of hearing that awful voice in her mind. Ingrid closed her eyes as she felt him draw back. When he thrust into her the first time, she bit down on her hand to avoid screaming.

His big hands closed around her firm boobies, stroking them just as gently as before, even as he drove that huge thing into her with seemingly all his strength. The pretty blonde couldn't help herself. She screamed as her climax hit, then screamed again moments later. Finn's hips slapped into her hard little ass, making the firm meat jiggle like jello. Reaching down, he began to tease her joy-button again. And for the fourth time in what seemed mere moments, Ingrid screamed into her hand as she went careening over the edge once more. She could feel him shooting off, and she was almost disappointed that it was over. She wanted more of that.

A voice from up the street called out, "daddy!" Hearing Star's voice, Finn rushed to get himself back together, stuffing his little buddy back in his boxers. Ingrid calmly stepped out of her underpants, kicking them aside as she straightened her dress. As Star approached, the big man went down the stairs to greet her, asking, "where've you been?" "Got a Wildberry Clone cornered, daddy," said the wood-nymph wonder. "A... _clone_ ," Finn burbled. Star nodded emphatically. "Killed one," she said. "There's a second a few blocks away." Holding up the captured phone, she added, "she was controlling these peeps by phone, but I shut it down." By now Ingrid had come down the stairs. Telling Star to lead on, Finn took Ingrid by the hand and led her away from that place.

 _Bravo, my Angel,_ said the voice. Ingrid frowned. _One step closer to his soul, my sweet Angel,_ the voice explained. _Just play your cards right. Oh, and you_ will _play your cards right if you want to avoid the Night-O-Sphere._ Star was chattering away in excitement–more as cover for the fact that she'd watched her daddy get it on with the tall princess than any need to talk right now. She'd given them most of the facts of things as she'd found them. She'd heard Ingrid's screams and thought she was coming to her rescue and gotten to see far more than she'd bargained for. At the same time, she realized that Thor had a lot to learn still about girls.

When they reached the building, they found the candy-people still packed into the hall, unable to move and too mindless to even try. "We'll camp out on the roof tonight," said Finn. "It's warm enough, we should be ok. Then we can sort this mess out in the morning." "Sounds like a plan, daddy," said Star. Ingrid nodded her agreement. Stealing a little bedding from one of the apartments, the trio made their way to the roof where Ingrid snuggled up to her man, while Star wrapped herself up in a blanket opposite the pair of them. "G'night mom, 'night daddy," said Star. Ingrid blushed to her hair, but Finn merely rolled onto his side, slipped his arms around Ingrid, and burbled, "g'night, sweetie."

Morning found Bonnie back in her lab alone. She'd spent a rather crowded and uncomfortable night in the nursery sharing a bed with Drew, Lollipop, and Nadia. She'd had Nadia's giant knockers stuck in her face and Lollipop's elbows poking her in the ribs half the night. Laying there in the dark, she'd done a lot of soul-searching and come to realize just how far off the track she'd gotten. That had led her to the decision she'd been struggling with for days now. As she was laying out the equipment she was going to need, Sarah came in, looking much the worse for wear. They would have to get that sorted. Sarah had suggested just putting her arm in a cast, but Bonnie knew that was going to attract more attention than it deflected.

And Finn would fucking freak.

 _We can't ever tell him about last night,_ she decided. She didn't like the lies. She knew they were doing harm to their whole extended family with every lie they told and every secret they kept from him. But things were raw just now, and there were things he was better off not knowing. He was struggling right now, and they needed to do their part. "Hi, Sarah," said Bonnie. "Come in, please." It was a far cry from their last solo encounter. She'd been nasty to her creation.

"I got your note," said the android, as Bonnie turned around. The pink princess looked her creation over from head-to-toe. You would scarcely have been able to tell that she was in pain. Bonnie knew. She knew very well just what all that damage was doing to her creation. "Have a seat please," said Bonnie. "We need to talk." Frowning a little, Sarah said, "guess we're going dumpster-diving into our collective baggage, huh?" Bonnie flushed to her hair, but she responded with, "yeah. We kind of have to."

Primly, the android-girl came in and sat down. Bonnie went and retrieved her laptop. Without a word, she plugged the interface cable into the port behind Sarah's ear. The android-girl shivered in a little honest fear. Bonnie opened a shell, as she said, "Finn's wrapping up in Candy-Town. They have a living clone of Wildberry Princess there." Sarah almost spun around, but Bonnie's hand on her shoulder stopped her. "I guess we have something to work with now," she sighed. "Yeah," said Bonnie, as she worked. "You'll blank out for a minute... starting... now."

Sarah blinked, and realized she'd lost a little time there. "There," said Bonnie. "No more root-kit. You shouldn't have any more missing memory now." The android-girl did a quick scan into the deep, dark recesses of her mind. The checksum came back exactly the way she was expecting it to–just as it had always come back–along with a flood of shocking memories from the day she'd come down to his lab to be 'examined'. She was a little shocked by what Bonnie had done and oddly turned on.

"So," said Sarah. "Where do we go from here?" With a heavy sigh, Bonnie said, "I guess I start by apologizing... I'm not good with children... I... get overbearing..." "I didn't try to hurt you," Sarah replied. Nodding, Bonnie said, "I know. This isn't about you. I wasn't lieing when I said you were loyal. You're my most loyal creation, and I don't mean that because you literally saved my life." The candy monarch closed out of the shell and shut down the computer.

"I have a problem," sighed Bonnie, as she unplugged the jack from behind her double's right ear. Coming around in front of her creation–her sort-of daughter–the candy monarch said, "I've wanted children, Sarah..." "...I know," the android replied. Bonnie put a finger to her lips and said, "shush. I'm apologizing for being a shit to you..." The android flushed. Straightening, Bonnie said, "I wanted children the way unruly kids want a pet. The idea's... great. I'm excited, and I'm bubbly, and I'm happy as a clam. And then I suck at actually taking care of them because I get bored. Finn... was my perfect father because he was happy to raise the babies all on his own and leave me alone down in my lab while he was doing it. I got to be a proud momma, while he did all the work." Sarah flinched at that damning statement.

Brushing back Sarah's singed and unkempt locks, the candy monarch said, "I made you to be the perfect me. It's kind of ironic... You're better at being me than I am. Logical to a fault, focused, and actually able to balance life and work. I got... jealous, and I got way out of line." "For what it's worth," said Sarah. "I understand you better than you know. Who understands you better than somebody who _is_ you?" Bonnie blushed to her hair. "I'm... not mad at you," said Sarah. "I was kind of a jerk too. I should have handled that better and not tried to rub your face in it." Bonnie sat down beside her and said, "this isn't going to be easy for me..." "Bonnie, I'm never going to replace you," said Sarah. "You're Finn's first love. You're Bon, Shoko, and Rosie's mom. He's... He knows the difference between us."

With a heavy sigh, Bonnie took her hand and said, "it's the fear talking... I'm..." "I have my flaws too, Bonnie," Sarah interrupted, "and at the end of the day, I'm the one who doesn't have children. I _can't_ have them. I'm never going to be able to replace that. I'd rather walk away than see the person who has that kind of stake in things be _replaced_." Bonnie slowly nodded as her mind took that all in. "Friends," she asked? "Friends," Sarah agreed, though she was a little distracted just now.

Strangely enough, holding hands like that was giving Sarah a bit of a tingle. It was a fact of her existence that she liked girls. She liked them in every flavor they came in. From skinny, flat-chested waifs like Lollipop to broad-hipped, busty tit-goddesses like Simone, she liked them all. Now, she found herself wondering what it would be like doing a threesome with her beautiful creator and their hubby. Or even involving Marceline. The android girl gave her creator a devious smile as she thought of ways she could make that happen. Standing up, Bonnie said, "we better get you patched up before Finn gets home." Sarah nodded. Finn would shit himself if anything happened to any of them. Bonnie told her creation, "gonna' have to put you under again... You trust me?" The snarky android retorted, "going to sex-torture me again first?" Bonnie howled laughter at that. It was going to be a good day.

 **Another thread ends. And a new threat begins.**


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter 37:

The Flame King tickled her son's tummy and listened to him giggle. Belching puffs of steam, the little fellow wriggled around in his crib as his doting momma looked on. Finally. She was finally a mother. She'd envied Simone almost since the day Billy came into the world. Fionna and even Star had only served to ratchet up the envy into full-blown jealousy. That envy had only grown stronger with the news that Bonnie and even Marceline were having babies of their own. She'd been alone then. In spite of having a companion, she'd felt alone and uncomfortable in her own skin. Phoebe the untouchable force of nature.

After getting pregnant with little Cole, she'd been happy as a clam, but even that fleeting happiness had turned to ashes. She'd come between her best friends, and she'd felt a tide of guilt for almost losing Simone's life. If Finn had been there at his wife's side, Phoebe felt certain the Lich's gambit of seizing Simone's body would have failed. Cole's health-issues with the Quicksilver Curse had seemed like just punishment for her mistakes and failings. She'd been trapped in Bonnie's kingdom unsure that she would ever manage to get home. Somehow, they'd gotten past all of that, and it had seemed like Glob delivered them out of that ugliness. She was a wife and a mom, and she was content. When Finn had things sorted out with Wildberry, and when she'd managed to give birth to Ember, they'd be back together again. That was the plan anyway.

Knocking at her door announced she had a visitor. It was a bit early. She'd barely gotten cleaned up and dressed for the day, and the nursemaid wasn't here yet. In an irritated tone of voice, she called out, "come in!" The door behind her opened, admitting her brother and chief general. "Oh, hi, Flint," she said. "What brings you here?" Their relationship had been strained recently. He wasn't happy about Cole or Ember, and he wasn't shy about letting her know that. She'd coldly reminded him that it wasn't his choice to make. She didn't like doing that. Her brother was one of the few relatives to stick by her in her exile.

Instead of answering, Flint stepped towards her, his face grim. Behind him, she saw several men waiting in the hall. "Ok," she said. "What gives?" "I'm here to arrest you," he replied. "For crimes against your people." The Flame King blinked in astonishment. She knew her brother was kind of a jerk, but this was really a bit much. "As of this day," he said, "you stand deposed. Surrender the Crown of Fire and be judged for your crimes." Stunned, Phoebe retorted, "really? You're really going to do this?" Coldly, he said, "you were the one that chose to place your half-breed bastard in a position to take the throne..." "You will never call my son that again, Flint," growled the irritated elemental. Beeping from her containment suit announced that she better calm herself down. Chortling, Flint replied, "or you'll do what, Phoebe? You've rendered yourself impotent. By your desire to have those monstrosities, you've surrendered your power."

The Flame King grimaced. He had a point there. She let him carry on. "You will be stripped of your crown," he said. "You'll be confined. You and those... _things_... will be confined until entropy takes you." Coolly, Phoebe replied, "I will not go, Flint. You'll have to kill me..." The Usurper laughed. Shaking his head, he laughed until burning tears fell from his eyes. Wiping away those motes of flame, the evil being replied, "oh, you'll go, Phoebe. You'll go just to have a chance at seeing those monstrosities live just one day longer. Your only other choice is to see me dismember that one right here right now." He had her, and she knew it. She couldn't stop him from killing her son, and she'd be killing her daughter in vengeance right after. "You better hope I never get free," she growled. Ignoring her, he signaled his guards, even as he moved to the side-table and took up the crown there. "Enjoy it while you can," growled the fallen King.

As Phoebe allowed herself to be led away to prison, Randy Okonski came down the stairs to his parents' basement to find his lady already hard at it. After she'd fainted from exhaustion, he'd moderated her work-schedule, making sure that she got a full eight hours of sleep each and every night and insisting that she eat. He was taking a little advantage of Flint and his paranoia to have a little time away on the down-low. Every time the big fathead kicked Randy out of the office for his latest hush-hush meeting with his cronies, Randy slipped home to look in on his lady or out to the border to barter for food that she liked. He was a fool in love, but he was happy.

"Hey, babe," he greeted her. The pretty blonde blew him a kiss. Striding towards her, he lay a platter on the table. He was getting better about cooking flesh-creature food and no longer burned it. Shoko had been a _very_ good sport about that. Shoko, who had both arms up to the elbows in her machine, gave him one of those radiant smiles that so captivated him. The young princeling smiled back, asking, "whatcha' got goin'?" With a shrug, she said, "was working on my equations... I think I've found my mistake." "Oh," he said. He tried not to frown. He had been edging up on trying to talk her into abandoning this quest. Honestly, he was happy with what they had. The business of her fainting like that had given him new perspective. He was torn, honestly.

Half of him wanted to hold onto this thing of theirs with all that was in him. That piece of him had been considering daring the Wishmaster's Maze. Every soul in Ooo knew of how Shoko's father had dared the Maze to win a wish and save his beloved Simone from the madness of the Ice-Crown. A wish would serve just as well to give them what they wanted. The other half–the part that had been gaining ground–would have seen Shoko do just as his mother wanted. He wanted her out of this place and back somewhere she could live normally. She was stifled here, where the very atmosphere could kill her if she weren't careful. He knew it had to be wearing on her spirit, and he'd not have had her here a moment longer. He'd begun to lose hope of this mad experiment of hers ever working, and he wanted her to stop trying.

Withdrawing her arms, the young princess closed the panel. Dusting her hands, she said, "I've been putting the mice into the unit with Flambo's spell on them. I'm starting to think that's the problem. It's interfering with the zero-point energy module. There's some kind of feedback loop..." His alarm ratcheted up to the boiling point. If Shoko once let Flambo's protective cocoon fail, she would burn to death in moments! The elemental was in motion quick as thought, moving to his lady, his mind only on dissuading her from taking that step. Before he could get three feet, the sounds of pounding on the door announced trouble, come knocking at their door.

"Be right back," he said. His parents were out right now. They were home alone, and so he headed back upstairs to the door to see who was calling. His mind seethed. This was everything he feared. He had grown terrified of losing his lover. He'd come to think that this place was the wrong place for her. He would rather have spent his days in jeopardy of his life than risk her life one moment longer. He'd been considering going to _her_ world, even if he could barely touch her there. _You have to convince her,_ he thought. She had to be convinced not to take this approach. There would be time to experiment when they were in the Candy Kingdom. She could experiment all she liked on whatever vermin she found. Just let her stay safe.

Arriving at the door, he opened it to find two Military Policemen on his parents' doorstep. He felt a tremor of fear. He'd been taking advantage of Flint's antics and his frequent absences to shirk. Had he been caught? That fear ratcheted up when the soldier before him declared, "Randy Okonski, we have come to arrest you! Come quietly, and there will be no trouble!" "W-what's the charge," the young man babbled? "Crimes against the laws of nature," retorted the bombastic soldier! "You stand accused of fornication with a flesh-creature! You shall be imprisoned for all time!" Now Randy grew suspicious. "Is this a joke," he replied? "Shoko's a princess of an allied kingdom!" "Where is the flesh-creature," demanded the other soldier?! "She's to be arrested and imprisoned!"

Randy pushed back, retorting, "you better show me papers or be prepared for a fight!" The soldier on the left swung at him with the butt of his shock-spear. Randy ducked and cold-cocked him, knocking him on his ass in the doorway. And that was when the wolf-drawn wagon sitting on the street disgorged a dozen Flame Guards. "Uh-oh," babbled the stunned prince. He stepped back into the house and tried to slam the door, even as he shouted to Shoko to hide. The still-standing guard had wedged his spear in the door and was now keeping it open as men piled up there, trying to force the door. And Randy's decision to take medicines to dampen his own fire was starting to tell against the young prince. Stronger than he was, the other elementals slowly forced the door open.

At the top of the basement stairs, Shoko stared in terror at what she was seeing. Flint had seemingly lost his mind! It was a certainty that if she was locked up, Flambo's spell would eventually wear off. She doubted that Flint had any real plans of sending a spellcaster to renew it. She'd burn to death in prison! As Randy gave ground, she came to the harsh realization that there was only one choice. Burn to death in prison or risk her life on her research and equations. That wasn't much of a choice. Rushing down stairs, she shouted for her hubby to hold them off as long as she could.

Reaching her laboratory, she began winding the machine up, turning on the systems in sequence. As the machine spooled up, she thought about the equations. She wasn't finished yet. She'd been working her way through them, and there were still some unknowns. She was certain Flambo's spell was causing troubles for the mice, but she wasn't sure if there weren't other things that might cause problems. Taking a breath, she began shedding clothing. Everything came off, including her few pieces of jewelry. She left it all on the floor. She could hear the elementals searching the house now, and she prayed her honey was ok. If he wasn't, well she would seek vengeance. Setting the machine to cycle, the young princess spoke a single word, "nullity..."

She could _feel_ the heat. She'd always felt it at the edge of her senses–the whole time she'd been here. Now she felt it in all its terrible glory. The heat seared her lungs. The poisonous sulfur fumes tortured her as she walked towards the machine. Her skin was burning. She could feel it. She knew her hair was on fire. She could smell it. Step by painful step, she walked into the machine. That was what Randy saw as he was dragged in chains into the basement. His lover stepping into that death-machine naked as the day she was born, burning to a crisp even as she did so. As the soldiers shouted at her, she stepped into the machine. There was a tremendous flash of light, and she was gone. Randy went limp then, howling and wailing in pain as he realized that the woman he'd come to love so badly was now lost. "Call it in," shouted the lead soldier! "Let's get this one to the dungeon."

The campaign against the loyalists was swift and brutal. The Usurper's troops surged through the kingdom like a wave, snuffing opposition and arresting thousands. Anybody fool enough to stick his head up was summarily executed. In a matter of hours the Fire Kingdom was brought under the complete control of the Army. Testifying to the efficiency of the purge, news reaching the other kingdoms was scant, leaving most in the dark about the disaster, including the King of Ooo himself.

Rising from his bed days after the purge had been completed, the big man tried once more to contact his beloved wife and second love. He'd only been able to exchange text messages due to some mysterious service outage in the Fire Kingdom, and it had left him very worried. Sitting on the edge of the bed, listening to the phone ring, he found himself muttering, "c'mon, Phoebes. What's going on? Answer, dammit!" His mind couldn't really help going back to the time he'd been trapped in the Treehouse by a knife storm, trying to call Phoebes. He'd been afraid she was angry at him for some imagined slight, and he'd been desperate to hear her voice. He'd ended up having that weird dream of the Pillow-World. He only half-remembered that dream, but he absolutely remembered the fear of losing Phoebe that he'd felt back then.

Sitting down beside him, Lollipop asked what was wrong. "Can't raise Phoebes," Finn sighed. "Not for days. All I can get is text messages..." "She may be busy," Lollipop reminded him. "I'm sure she'd respond if she could." In the mean-time, he had a lot on his plate too. Nodding, the unhappy King of Ooo put the phone aside. Work was taking him further and further afield from his family–the very people who'd put him on this road. He was only doing this to protect them, but it was starting to feel like it would take him from them forever. He had a very real fear of that.

Moving on, the big man hit the shower–alone for a change. The girls no longer competed to sneak in. Most of them had stopped anyway. Breakfast was still enjoying the _novelty_ when she didn't get caught and cussed at. Drew had insisted on Finn showering alone because she felt as though he didn't get any rest or time to himself. She was right, and he knew it. At the same time, it was one of the few opportunities he got to just talk with his ladies where they weren't fighting over the stupid war or worrying over Billy and the other kids, and he missed the conversation. It was a familiar hell that he remembered from the early days when he was juggling being Captain of the Guard with looking after Simone and Emeraude and sometimes failing both jobs. _But life goes on,_ he thought, _and standing in the shower going wrinkly doesn't get me closer to finishing this or help protect anybody._

Done with his shower, he went out, got dressed, and headed down to his first meeting of the day. The cabinet meeting was pretty much the first item on the agenda every day. That let everybody go actually get stuff done the rest of the day before coming home to meet up again for a very short dinner. It wasn't optimal, but with everybody rushing around with their hair on fire stamping out the crisis of the moment, it was what it was.

Nadia went first, going over the problems with the people of Candy-Town and their research down in the lab. Progress was being made on the problem of the zombies, but it wasn't great. They still hadn't found a cure that would see Billy able to leave his prison. Finn–indeed all of Ooo–needed the young wizard at work. Moving on, the big man gave the floor to Ingrid. With the battle to hold the line on the Tesla Barrier finished, Finn was looking at pushing back against Wildberry and her allies as a way to _force_ them to the bargaining table. Standing up, the tall princess took the floor, looking natty in a soft, green, thigh-length dress that showed off her fantastic legs and hard little body. Little bits of lace and flourishes here and there made her look far more feminine than she'd managed to be before. Finn knew Lollipop had been _helping_ her with that, and the results were fantastic.

"I'm ready to move on Breakfast Kingdom," said Ingrid, "anytime you wish it, my King." She was a lot more mellow now that she'd gotten laid. Star had told Fionna all about it, and the bad bunny couldn't help wanting to laugh. Everything about Ingrid said 'happy' just now. She wasn't always walking around in armor trying to intimidate people. She didn't look like she was going to tear your head off and shit down your neck all the time. She looked, in short, a lot like the rest of the moms did, and half the time, Fionna expected her to start sighing. It had Fionna and Star ready to crack up at any given moment.

Finn was holding off on executing the invasion for the moment. Here again Wildberry had them stymied. The Wildberry clones had helped Bonnie and Sarah quite a bit, but the two geniuses were still stumped by the mind-control spores. For one thing, the clones were brain-dead. Nearly as any of the brains could tell, Wildberry had some sort of psychic connection to them. She was controlling them from afar. They couldn't question the still-living clone for information because she had the personality of a newborn baby. As long as Wildberry and Blargetha could turn their army into zombies–meatheads as Star and Fionna put it–Finn wasn't ready to move. The good news was that they'd isolated the remaining routes around the Tesla-Barrier. Wildberry wouldn't be trying their defenses again. The bad news was that they were heading into fall with many of the kingdoms ready to turn inward. Things would get very dangerous if they didn't get this war shut down before the snows came.

Calmly, Finn asked, "how long until the preparations go stale?" Ingrid had been giving this same report for a week now. She'd been clearly irritated the first time he shut things down. Now she calmly replied, "two more weeks, my King. You have that long until we need to start over." The holes in Blargetha's defenses weren't going to go unnoticed forever. Ingrid had begun to militate for dragging the vampires out of their isolation as a hedge against berry-bitch and her clones. It was unlikely the undead could be affected. Cherry–and by extension, Finn–had sunk a lot of resources into rescuing the Moon and Heirophant. It might have been nice to see that bear fruit. Finn had promised to consider it, thought Fionna was certain he intended to do no such thing. He'd asserted on several occasions that Marshall was doing the adult thing–finally–and it did no good to reward that by trying to drag the Vampire King into doing awful things against his will.

 _At least she's dropped the army thing,_ thought Fionna. Ingrid hadn't brought up the battle-droids since they got back from Candy-Town, and everybody was grateful. Dealing with all they had already was hard enough. Just the business with the meatheads had everybody working themselves to a frazzle. They had thousands of people stuck in hospital wards across the kingdom–citizens of Candy-Town who'd been turned into sock-puppets by Wildberry Princess. The crazies who'd tear you limb-from-limb had been bad, but they tended to kill each other off. Thousands of people who were literally too mindless to get in out of the rain was a much bigger problem. Fionna and Star had spent _days_ getting them all rounded up, and Lollipop and Drew had been in the thick of things, finding spaces to place them all and healthy people to take care of them. They were straining the hospitals to breaking, and there were men, women, children, and elderly in the bunch.

"We're closing in, Finn," said the Minister for Magic. Simone looked exhausted, but she also looked exultant. She had a line on the Fire Bleeder, and she, Betty, and Patrick were working their way ever closer. She thought they'd have the answer in days. That would let Finn maybe get there first because Maja seemed to be failing. Cherry's network said that the witch spent days at a time cooped up in her lab to little success. The princesses were contemplating mutiny against her. "Keep at it, babe," said Finn. "I need to know the minute you find it." Turning to his Minister for Technology, he said, "gonna' need a ship. I don't think we'll want to wait on this." The Grid-Face Princess swore he would have it. Finn dissolved the meeting then, admonishing Breakfast to have a report on the food supply on his desk by morning.

Down in the basement, Bonnie, Sarah, and Boniface all sat in front of a microscope reviewing tissue samples from the dead Wildberry clone. They had succeeded in isolating the source of the dangerous pollen to glands around the clone's neck and armpits. Now they were picking apart one of those glands to see just what it did. So far the news was troubling. They had heard all about Star's encounters with the meatheads, and the news had left all three geniuses in a state of panic. It now appeared their fear was well grounded. "There appears to be just one spore-type," muttered Bonnie. "Somehow she's able to alter the toxin the spores are releasing by some for of chemical remote control." Sarah gave vent to a bout of swearing. It was another setback. It was almost as though they needed Maja herself for this.

Striding through the door, Nadia opined, "I'm guessing no progress..." Bon sighed heavily, and Sarah explained, "the spores appear to be reprogrammable. Somehow she's able to tune the toxin from afar. Wildberry's become a perfect bio-weapon..." Which perfectly justified the glum looks. It looked–and _sounded_ –near to hopeless.

With a sigh, Nadia said, "there's one other possibility..." The other three geniuses glared at her. Flushing, the Grid-Face Princess admitted, "it's Noemi... Noemi might be able to help us..." Frowning, Bonnie asked the obvious, "why didn't you mention this before?" "Partly I wasn't sure," replied the cyborg, "partly I was afraid of making waves..." Now those three frowns deepened. Flushing, the Grid-Face Princess admitted, "she tried to seduce Bon while he was negotiating for troops..." As a stunned Boniface Bubblegum stared, Nadia told them the story the Purple Princess had told her–about using her pheremones to try seducing the bubblegum prince. When she finished the story, Boniface was blushing in unpleasant memory. He _had_ been attracted and completely unable to understand why. He'd come home and jumped his wife like a fiend.

Nadia explained, "their females sometimes fight pheremone wars over desirable men, tuning and retuning their body chemistry to drown each other out..." Bonnie turned to Sarah, who was already moving. "On it," she said, as she crossed the room. Bon found himself grinning. He was supposed to be the _boring_ –and less desirable–son! It felt nice to have independent confirmation that he wasn't. Bonnie moved on, saying, "it may not pan out. Let's keep at it. I want to try and figure out how this works by end of the day."

Upstairs, Finn the King went back to work on the phones, lobbying long time friends to come to his side. It was a tough row to hoe with so many now clearly terrified of Wildberry and Maja. In the end, all he got for a day's worth of effort was Ocean Princess, who was so minor as to be irrelevant, but it was a _start_. It was the first flake of snow in what he hoped would become an avalanche that would _bury_ Wildberry and Maja. Done for the day, the big man got up to go, but found his way blocked when he opened the door to find Cherry, Ingrid, Nadia, and Breakfast on his doorstep. It was clear from the looks on their faces that the news wasn't good.

Calm as anything, Cherry told him, "Maja's on the move. She's taken flight on that war-elephant. Destination unknown, but she was headed southeast." Emerald Kingdom. If she hadn't found the Fire-Bleeder, she had some idea where it was. Finn's eyes flicked to Nadia. The cyborg-woman didn't disappoint, as she reported, "Piotr's at the airfield waiting. There's a car downstairs." Finn thanked both wives with a kiss. Then he was gone in the blink of an eye–headed off to grab his weapons and gear. He left behind a fair amount of tumult.

Nadia asked, "who's going with him? Star or Fionna?" Ingrid replied, "I need them _here_. Fionna's still got to finish the drive to the Grey Forest, and Star's needed on the southern border." "We can't let him go alone," said Cherry. "Somebody's got to go with him. It can't be me, because I have to finish polishing off Sugarlump's gang and rooting out Orzsebet's agents." Three hostile faces turned towards Breakfast, who swallowed down a lump of terror. "Get your shit packed," said Cherry. When the breakfast cutie might have protested, the hostile crimelord coldly told her, "you want that spot? You're going to earn it."

Fifteen minutes later, Finn came down the stairs to the waiting car to find Ingrid and Cherry waiting on him. Cherry informed him, "I've called Betty and Simone and told them to speed things up if they can. Simone says she's going to be out at Emerald Kingdom in a couple days tops. Do try and stay out of trouble until then..." Face flushed, Finn nodded nonetheless. He found himself standing there with the pair in an awkward and unpleasant moment with all the unhappy thoughts of his existence flowing through his mind. He refused to say that word. It sounded much too final right now. Breaking the impasse, Cherry grabbed him by the collar and pulled his face to hers, locking lips with him a long few minutes. Relinquishing her grip, she stood aside for Ingrid, who gave him a comparatively chaste kiss. "Be back soon as I can," he said, as headed for the car.

"Why couldn't it be Breezy," muttered Cherry? She knew the very idea was adulterous. Breezy was married and had the kids to prove it. At the same time, the Princess of the Underworld found she would much have preferred the Queen Bee over Breakfast Princess. There was a loyalty there that could only flow from honest love. Breezy loved Finn with all her heart and would have gladly laid down her life for him. More to the point, Breezy was a magician, well able to defend herself in a fight when Breakfast was about as useful as tits on a bull. If they were lucky her presence would keep Finn from doing any of the usual stupid things until Simone and Betty could get there.

In the limo, Finn was startled to find himself sitting opposite sisters Breakfast and Toast. "Uh, hey, baby," said Breakfast. "Uh, the girls thought my... uh... familiarity with Emerald Kingdom would help you..." Finn stared at the pair in suspicion as Breakfast tried to explain how she'd been to Emerald Kingdom before and how much she knew about the place. Giggling in humor at her sister's absolutely atrocious lies, Toast said, "big sister is lieing, of course, Finn. Cherry thinks that if we're along, you won't do anything reckless because you have to protect us." Slipping into the seat next to him, she grabbed his arm and lay her head on his shoulder, saying, "so you be a good boy until they can get some firepower to come to Emerald Kingdom, 'kay?" Breakfast's face was red-hot, and she gave her sister a strangely jealous look.

For his part, Finn did his best not to lose his cool and kick the pair of them out of the car. He was far south of happy about this, but he knew that the whole thing would get shut down if he protested. The girls would make him wait until Simone and Betty were free to go, and that would give Maja a head start with whatever she was planning to do. That was far too risky. They had no way of knowing just how far ahead of things she really was right now. The fact that she was flying out to Emerald Kingdom told him she was close. She was very close, and seconds could be counting against them right now.

"When we get to Emerald Kingdom," he said, "you will lock yourselves in our room. You will not come out unless I allow it..." Breakfast opened her mouth to speak, but he said, "those are my orders, Minister." Tousling his hair, Toast said, "you sure do sound bossy now, Finn. Never figured you for the type. I guess you're getting the hang of all this 'King of Ooo' stuff, huh?" The big man blushed to his hair. This was going to be a long trip.

Finn spent much of the ride over with his eyes shut, thinking about what he was going to do. He would be working around Beeps and Toast now. Work had to get done, even if they were somewhat in the way. Principally, he had to talk Aysun down from joining Wildberry's faction again. With Alexia on his side, that was already going to be hard work. That was one thing the sisters could help him with. They were living proof of Maja and Wildberry's treachery. The Emerald Princess was power-hungry and not terribly bright, but he didn't think she was suicidal. Of course, he knew that Maja's principal goal wasn't going to be taking on allies. If she had the Fire-Bleeder, she didn't need them. Maja's eyes would be focused on the main chance. Somewhere south and east of Emerald Kingdom lay a terrifying threat to life on Ooo. She just had to find it.

"Hey, Finn," asked Toast? The big man turned to the younger sister. She was sitting on the floor of the airship, playing a solo game of Card-Wars. "Yeah, Toaster," he asked? In a strange sort of half-bemused tone, the middle sister asked, "how come Maja doesn't just go get a wish like you did?" Finn frowned at her. "You went twice," she pointed out. "And you won both times. And you were dumber than a post." Finn tried not to flinch at that damning assessment, as Toast proceeded to explain how she thought of the situation–and him. "She could probably just wish for this Fire-Bleeder the way you wished up your elephant," said Toast.

Finn came over and sat down before her. Taking the other deck of cards in his hands, he said, "babe, why did you come?" Toast, who was focused on the deck in her hands, said, "I asked you a question first." Finn blushed to his hair. Shuffling the cards in his hand, the big man said, "it's not like you're thinking, Toaster... Aquandrius is smarter than every person on Ooo, Bonnie included. But not in the way you'd understand it." The younger woman frowned up at him. Her brown eyes focused in on his with razor precision. It was a little eerie.

Coolly, Finn explained, "Aquandrius can see into the distant past and into the far flung future, all at the same time." As he began to deploy cards against her, he said, "he can see every step that led to you being there in his maze, and he can see every step you'd take on your way back out again. Bon explained it to me once... He can literally alter the way your parents came together and cause you not to be born. And that's how he causes wishes to be fulfilled. He gives you what you asked for, but not in any way you'd be able to understand it..." "Like Huntress," she asked? Finn nodded. "E wanted a husband," said Finn. "A dude who was loyal and kind. Somebody like me." So the Wishmaster had given her exactly what she wished for and come close to blowing up Finn's family and setting Ice Queen and Wizard at each other's throats.

"The smarter you are," said Finn, "the more you try to out-think him. The more you try to out-think him, the bigger a dick he is. He can see every outcome, and he can pick the one that gives you what you asked for but is the most heinous for your whole life." "And he'd pick Maja getting burned alive by the Fire-Bleeder or something," Toast sighed. Finn nodded. Just so. Toast was studying her cards now, and Finn could see from her posture that something was eating her. Reaching out, he tipped her face towards him and said, "what're you thinking?" When she turned away, he had his answer. "You can't wish for this not to happen, Toaster," he said. "I've wished half my life for stuff I've done to go away, but we can't go back. He'd... He'd make you go away or something, and I'd be really sad."

Her face went red hot at those words, but she didn't dare to answer them. Indeed, the two focused themselves on the cards, neither saying a word about the awful truth that the younger woman wanted so much to escape. Instead, the two whiled away the hours playing the game as the airship crossed the sky. Finally, as the clock struck two in the morning, the pilot announced they'd arrived. It was time to throw down. Double-or-nothing. Hero-or-zero.

They slipped into Aysun's palace in the wee hours, with Piotr the Grid-Face Person going down to announce Finn's presence to Emerald Princess's Vizier. Finn sent Breakfast and Toast to bed, while he did his best to prepare for the unpleasant meeting ahead. This whole thing was going to go in a couple of stages, with him working on the princess, while he tried to find Maja and figure out what she was doing.

About mid-morning, the servants arrived with breakfast and a message from Aysun's Vizier. The princess would meet with them for a late-afternoon lunch in her formal audience room. Finn turned his eyes to the pair that had attached themselves to him for this trip and said, "what did you two bring for clothing? At Toast's puzzled look, the big man said, "everybody in Emerald Kingdom wears a robe covering their whole body..." Toast's mouth came open in shock. It had been hotter than the Night-O-Sphere when they _landed_! It must be hot as the sun out there now! Calmly, Finn said, "they don't expect visitors to wear robes, but they do expect you to cover your skin and hair. I'll see if they have scarves for you. Please tell me you have stockings or something?" Breakfast blushed as Toast giggled, "she brought silk stockings to seduce you... She hasn't been getting her fair share..."

Finn forced himself not to shout at them as much because the person he would really have shouted at was back in the Candy Kingdom. Instead, he coached them on what not to do and what not to say to the prickly Emerald People. At least he tried. Breakfast had been a party-girl and hell-raiser so long that it scarcely seemed she knew how to be anything else. In the end, the big man gave up. When the Vizier arrived to take them to their host's formal audience, he'd mostly switched focus to admonishing them to keep their mouths shut, lest they end up in the dungeon. He needed to be focused on stopping Maja, not on rescuing them.

Both women were dressed in scarves, long-sleeved dresses, and leggings when they arrived at Aysun's audience chamber. They found the gathering well underway, with people of all stripes there mingling and talking with each other in hushed voices. It was nothing like the raucous entertainments the two breakfast cuties were used to throwing. At _their_ parties, it was anything goes, have as much fun as you want, as long as nobody got hurt. And nobody much cared how much or little clothing you arrived in. Here in dry, dusty, and _hot_ Emerald Kingdom, Finn came wearing his heavy bear-hide hat over a fine suit stitched by Lollipop.

His eyes scanned the scene as he came in with his companions. Aysun was on the far side of the room, and a familiar bulky shape was there before her in a heavy Emerald Kingdom robe. Maudie. Peanut Princess was here, which meant that Maja wasn't far. Finn stepped into the room, with Breakfast and Toast on his heels. The guards shut the door behind them, as the big man coolly told his companions, "stay close by, but stay out of trouble." Without a further word, he stepped off, headed to Aysun's side.

He was sure Aysun's guest was Maudie. He'd have recognized the nut-person's form even in that heavy robe. Maudie was of a body-type with the Duchess of Nuts, who'd been murdered by his father's goons. Strangely enough, he missed the old Duke of Nuts, who had kind of been a fool, what with his pudding addiction and all. The old Duke's son was a far bigger fool, and Maudie had manipulated him into doing dreadful things that had come close to wrecking the world. Like many of the princesses, Maudie had 'grown up' one day while he was head-down, living his life, and he didn't like what she'd grown into.

He was closing in on the bulky peanut-person when a hand on his shoulder stopped him. As he spun around, a familiar voice announced, "don't you look scrumptious." Maja. Here. She was dressed in the Cheongsam again–this one in a champagne-colored silk. Her dress hugged tight to her body, emphasizing that the Sky Witch was a beautiful woman in spite of her treacherous, cold heart and evil demeanor. Today's dress came slit up both sides, baring firm legs clad in dark stockings, and he would have said she was dressed for the occasion if not for the cleavage-window in the front of her dress and the rather large opening in back baring her pale green skin to the light. "Been a while," she said. "Yeah," Finn replied. His subconscious slipped his right hand into his pocket and out of her direct reach. She was a dangerous opponent, and he feared what she might do, even here. Shocking him, the evil witch reached, out, drew his hand out of his pocket, and twined her fingers in his, before heading for the garden.

She was smiling archly as they stepped out in the cool, moist air of the Emerald Princess's garden. His mind went back to the first time he'd been here–with a much younger Emerald Princess. He'd come to talk about her feuding with a younger Laurel Princess. The two had once been close friends before power and ambition got the better of them. They'd been feuding over the Laurel Kingdom merchants who transported Aysun's emeralds to market–men who often tried to take advantage of the Emerald Princess. Finn had done his best, but things had just gone too far. Aysun declared war on her best friend and invaded her kingdom. Finn had come down on Alex's side, and he'd ended up getting banned by both.

Sniffing the damp air, the witch opined, "reminds me of the Bandit Kingdoms..." She'd passed through jungles on her way west from her homeland, but that had been many years ago. She turned to face him, showing off that dynamite bod, and he couldn't help but admit that she had a sexy, _exotic_ look. "Think so," she asked? "Yeah," he replied. "A little too sexy for this place, though. They don't like people showing off skin." "Boring," sniffed Maja, "besides, I'm not the one who has to talk to that woman." Which answer told Finn quite a bit. She was here for the Fire Bleeder, and she likely knew where it was. Maudie was running interference to keep Aysun and her people out of Maja's hair while she dug it up.

Turning back towards him, she reached out and straightened his tie, opining, "it's a pity they don't have dancing." Finn's face went hot. This wasn't the first enemy who'd flirted with him. Penny held that distinction. Usually the flirting ended once they got to blows, though. In a voice that sounded calmer than he felt, the King of Ooo asked, "what would it take for you to turn aside, Maja?" Her brow creased, and she gave him rather a strange look. "There's no need for this war," he said. Which was much as he'd said last time. "A laboratory," he asked? "Money? Resources for your experiments?" "Are you trying to bribe me, big boy," she asked? "I'm negotiating," Finn replied. "Hundreds of peeps have died. I don't want anymore of death. I sense that you don't either." Her expression changed in a heartbeat, and she demanded, "what do you know about what I want?!" He'd struck a nerve.

"You could have just come out swinging," he said. "I can see you don't want a fight." The witch calmed herself. "I don't know what you mean," she said. "We're at war, King of Ooo. That's the fact of the matter." Insistently, he countered, "but is it a war we have to fight?" Her expression turned cryptic. He could see his words were having an effect on her, but he couldn't tell if it was a good one or a bad one. "I'm... in need of a court-wizard," he said. Her face snapped around, and she gave him a bemused look. "Me work for you," she asked? "When I need you," he replied. "I'd pay you to be available." That made her laugh. "You want me available to you," she asked? "Is that it?" The big man's face went red hot. Her words were both more direct and more sly than Penny's.

"You're a very beautiful woman," Finn allowed, "but I respect your power. I'd like you to consider ending the war in exchange for... what's that word... being on _retainer_." Her face showed puzzlement, and he thought he'd surprised her. Her face snapped away, and she said, "I don't like working for anybody." "I didn't say you'd be _working_ for me," said Finn. "Sooner or later, you'd ask for something," she retorted. "Those bitches would complain of you paying me for nothing, and they'd want something." "Those _bitches_ are my wives, Maja," Finn replied. Turning to face him, she jabbed a finger into his chest and said, "women want things, King of Ooo, and we don't like the word 'no'." He wasn't sure if she was talking of his wives or herself. _Or both,_ he thought.

Silence reigned for a moment, and, for a wonder, she calmed down. Shaking herself, the witch said, "I don't want to talk about that." Before Finn could ask what she did want to talk about, Maja snapped her fingers, causing the soft strains of music to fill the garden. Turning around, she pressed herself into his arms. Startled, Finn stood there staring a moment. She wanted to _dance_?! It made little or no sense at all, but he went along to get along. He wasn't sure there wouldn't be a fight if he didn't.

So he danced.

The big man began to twirl his adversary around that small space, listening to the soft strains of that music. His mind was in turmoil. What was he going to do now? He didn't want a fight. He didn't want to risk anybody he cared about fighting this woman. At the same time, she'd made it crystal clear that she wasn't interested in working out a deal. _Maybe if I sweeten the deal,_ he thought? She didn't want to be his servant, and he could understand that. Maybe if she had her own domain or something...

Dancing cheek-to-cheek, listening to the witch's breathing, the big man thought of things they could offer her. There was a great no-man's land west of Bonnie's kingdom. Much of the coast was wild and empty with only forgotten cities and decaying remnants of civilization. There were mutants there. Oceanside was a haven for them. It was within his power to give her those lands. He was a little queasy about having her on Bonnie's border that way, but he could give her those lands. "Maja," he murmured. "No talking," she muttered. Shocking him, she actually snuggled closer, and he was a little startled to realize she smelled really nice. Still, he tried again, saying, "what if I gave you a kingdom of your own to rule..."

Irritated, the witch snarled, "I wanted to _dance_! Not fucking talk shop! Is that all you can do?!" Things went south in a hurry then, as Finn tried to stammer out apologies. Face contorted in a mask of anger, the witch hurled a bolt of light at him. He felt as if his entire body was on fire just then. And then he found himself falling, as darkness rolled over him. Maja stared down at what she'd done. She'd come prepared for a battle. Really, she'd expected to have to lure him in and sucker-punch him. But not here. This was kind of a mess. "No help for it," she decided. Waving her hand, she said, "come along, Finn." And then, as she slipped down along the wall of the palace, Finn's limp body came floating along after her. They left a shocked and terrified Toast Princess staring after them.


	38. Chapter 38

Chapter 38:

The fallen and former Flame King cradled her son as she thought of all the ways she'd made mistakes. Her mind was a tumult, and she felt all of a fool for putting herself in this jam. Except the flipside of the coin was that she really didn't see how she would have avoided it. How would she have managed to love Finn the Human without becoming part of his life? How would she have born a son without a husband? A part of her wanted to paint herself as a fool for having put her people in jeopardy. She still felt Flint's accusations keenly. At the same time, her people were part of Ooo. How would it have helped them to start murdering the other races because of the Lich's actions? They would have been giving Death what he wanted.

 _You're going to have to fight your way out of this,_ she decided. It wouldn't be the first time she'd been overthrown by someone who wanted to return to the old ways. Her father and his cronies had tried this before. She wouldn't have expected _this_ from her brother, but she realized she should have. She would have to be careful of those she trusted in positions of power from now on. _Four months to go,_ thought the Flame King. _Enjoy your rule, Flint. You won't be on the throne long._

As Phoebe contemplated her next moves and worried at the problem of survival, a pair of pale eyes peeped at the Usurper from the interior of a massive, flaming boil that floated in the lava beside the throne. The evil warlord had summoned his officers and minions, and now they stood entertaining an ugly creature. The oily black goo that had once been a person hovered there before them in a strange translucent blue globe–the handiwork of an elemental magician. The awful entity had the floor just now, and the elementals listened in rapt attention as he laid out all that was happening in the outside world.

"The forces of the flesh-creatures are hard at war," said the undead. "From your borders with the Froyo Kingdom down south to the Jungle Kingdom and from the sea east to the frozen wastes where the Witch of the Wastelands dwells, the flesh creatures are at war with each other. They wage war to the knife, and they seem hardly able to understand why." From up on his throne, Flint seemed to consider that. "You seem to know a lot about it," he growled. In a dry chuckle that sounded like stones grinding together, the Dipped replied, "we've been _feeding it_." The evil entity laughed. He seemed to find a great deal of joy in the misery his kind were causing in the world. Coolly, the elemental asked, "and how do you manage to do that?"

Transforming back into the pleasant face he had once worn, the Dipped shrugged his shoulders. "We do not kill or convert _all_ we come across, Lord," he said. In tones that conveyed amusement, the undead said, "my lady calls it the Dark Bargain. Some of us call it Death's Mercy. We allow some... a tithe of those we call to the void... to live. We let them flee, offering them the mercy of the wilderness. A tithe of that tithe makes it to the lands of the civil kingdoms. They feed the armies that keep the strife alive." After another bout of laughter, the evil creature explained, "after all, if left to their own devices, the fools who fight for the Sky Witch would long ago have burned up their armies."

"You're almost doing our work for us," opined one of the elemental generals. He meant it for humor, but the Dipped coldly reminded him, "rest assured, we do not do this for your benefit. We expect your commitment. You've promised to move on the flesh-creatures within the week. We want confirmation of the pledge." In hard tones, the fallen general replied, "and you have that pledge. I've shown you the armies poised to move on the Froyo Kingdom. We await the signal for Armageddon." The watcher moved then. This was news of the worst sort. There was little time to be wasted now. If the world was to be saved from this ugly alliance, the forces of light would have to weigh in.

Up in the high pinnacles of the Fire Kingdom, in the rare atmosphere where the air was thin and cold, Randy Okonski sat staring into space in his dank, gloomy cell. He was freezing, but he hardly noticed it. His mind was on Shoko. His lovely, lovely Shoko. His mind had been replaying that moment over and over. He'd been trying to deflect his cousin's men from going into Shoko's lab. He'd done his best to distract them. Failing in that, he'd done his best to stall them to buy time for his lady's escape. He'd failed. His efforts had gone for naught, and Shoko had stepped into that machine. To die. His beloved was gone, and he wished they would go ahead and kill him too, so he could join her in the afterlife. As his mind was going over that ugly lament for the thousandth time, a pair of tiny eyes regarded him from the brass lantern at his door. In sardonic tones, a familiar voice opined, "I'm delighted you didn't forget me... though I'm a little appalled at all the moping..."

Hundreds of miles to the south, Princess Noemi put down her teacup, smacking her lips as she did so. "Very good," she opined. Ragnhild nodded sagely. They were observing all the little rituals of hospitality, when she wanted to shake the bitch and demand answers. Abeiuwa, strangely, was calm in the face of losing her mind, but Ragnhild was a bit of a mess. Billy had left the decisions in her hands. He'd left his fate to his wife. Ragnhild's choices here decided whether or not her sons had their father going forward or just her memories of him. The Froyo Princess was doing her best to remain calm and dispassionate–just like this was any other critical negotiation. It was hard though, when Noemi seemed not to be particularly concerned about this.

Fortunately, other hands were involved and well able to drive the point home that this was not a lark. "Okay," said Bonnie, "how does this work?" She had thousands of her people afflicted with this disease, and she was running out of options to take care of them. She needed concrete answers, and she needed them yesterday. Taking aback by her colleague's vehemence, the Purple Princess sat there a moment in thought. "Well," she said. "I would have to say I'm not a scientist, Bonnibel... I don't have the words to explain how this _works_ as you put it. I can only give it a try and see if I get a positive response." "What will you do," asked the Froyo Princess? "You have to give me something..." Pondering that a moment, the plump princess said, "well, I'll go into the chamber... I'll try to exert my influence on young Mr. Mertens. It may take a few tries to get it right."

Drew sighed heavily and said, "well, I don't agree with this. I don't want to play around with this when there's so many unknowns, but if this is the consensus agreement, we should wait until this afternoon. William's having one of his bouts right now." Noemi retorted, "this is the perfect time. It's much better to try when he's at his worst. That means the spores are at full strength. If I can draw him down now, then it's likely this will be a permanent solution." The decision, such as it was, got made swiftly after that news. Bonnie came down firmly on the track of pushing forward.

With so much pulling at them, Nadia was swift to agree. She had the same risk in her Kingdom, and her cabinet was still balking at supplying a fusion engine or radioactive material to support the Tesla Barrier. If they had a cure in hand, that would break the logjam and permit her people to get back to business. That would get the Barrier running on its own and maybe even let them extend it to cover their flanks. That would let them hit Wildberry's faction when they chose to. Ingrid was quick to endorse the Grid-Face Princess's logic, appealing as it did to military necessity. That only left Ragnhild. They had decided that she would cast the principal vote.

Now every face there focused in on the Froyo Princess. She half wanted to wilt under the pressure. Her husband's life and the future of their sons was at stake. Her boys needed their father, and she risked taking him away. Prayer helped a little. It helped calm her mind some to ask Glob what to do with this. At the same time, it left her with no more answer than before. She had to make the decision, and she had to make it now or risk never making it at all. Blowing out a breath, she said, "alright. Let's do this."

With a heavy sigh, Drew Mertens got up, gathering on the lab coat she'd taken off. With the others in tow, she headed down the hall to the dungeon stairs. Her whole body posture suggested she was irritated, but then Drew had been a part of Billy Mertens' life since he came into the world. She'd delivered him. If there was anybody on Ooo that loved the big man as much as his own momma, it was Drew. Indeed, most of Finn's women had closed ranks in their vehement worry about this situation. Honestly, Ragnhild had suspicions it wasn't really even the abuse of her people weighing heavily on Bonnie's mind. Billy was in pain, and so _Finn_ was in pain–as were all of the _others_ she shared that life with.

The Froyo Princess had cause to reflect on that because she had an ugly secret of her own waiting in the wings. Abeiuwa had shared with her just how it was that she managed to deflect Billy from savagely murdering her out there in the jungle. She'd kept that secret. They both had. It was something so awful that Ragnhild was terrified of what it would do to her husband. What man wanted _that_ on his conscience. It didn't matter that Abeiuwa was pretty badly impaired herself, Billy had done something awful, and he didn't even know it. That didn't even get into Abieuwa's husband. He was still out there, somewhere. Billy asked after him, and Cherry had promised to find out what she could. Unfortunately it was more bad news. The fallen Consort of the Jungle Kingdom had been spirited out of his homeland by Wildberry, and now she'd made him her _dog_.

Ragnhild had been shocked that Finn's wives kept so much from him on a day-to-day basis. There was so much that was going on, and she kept thinking that he ought to be told. Now she was in the middle of some dreadful secrets of her own, and she _knew_ what those secrets were going to do to William when he found out. Her sweet, kind-hearted William, who'd now been turned into a raging Mr. Hyde, would be heartbroken. She'd almost made up her mind never to tell him. Certainly, Cherry had. She'd told him absolutely _nothing_ about Oreva and looked like she might never tell him.

They went down, down, down into the depths of the earth beneath Bonnie's palace. There they found the pristine world Billy called _home_ just now. They could _hear_ him. He was screaming and bellowing in threatening fashion, having lost most the capacity for all but the most limited speech. He had frozen the interior of the isolation cell four times now, and Bonnie had eventually moved him to a cell where they could control the climate to prevent a fifth incident. It broke Ragnhild's heart every time she came down to see him here.

"Wow," said Noemi, as they watched the raging maniac that had been William Simon Mertens. He was in a full-blown fit now, hurling blasts of icy cold and pounding frozen punch-daggers into the candy-steel walls in an effort to get out. It was a terrifying scene that Ragnhild had been forced to get used to. William was the most dangerous victim of Wildberry's plague in Bonnie's little asylum, and they never let themselves forget it. Ragnhild stood there staring at that terrible scene, fighting back tears. But then suddenly there was a new addition to the awful equation they were dealing with. Noemi had wandered up to the heavy outer bars of the cage, and now she stood there staring at the big man.

"Open it," she said.

Those words stunned Bonnie, who was a little nervous just looking at this scene. Honestly, she was seriously reconsidering this. Drew was right. They maybe should wait until Billy was calmer before trying. "No," said Noemi. "Right now. This is the best time. Wildberry's toxins are at their peak potency. That means if I can beat this now, there won't be any relapse." Reluctantly Bonnie led them to the airlock. Typing in the security code, she opened the outer door, admitting the Purple Princess to the cell, then sealed it after her. Standing at the window, Bonnie asked, "you sure you want to do this?" "Of course," said Noemi. "I did agree to this, didn't I?"

Billy stared at her uncertainly as Noemi came padding into his cell. He watched as she padded to a stop before him. Smiling, Noemi regarded the beautiful young man who was Finn's eldest child. He certainly looked the part, with rippling muscles, powerful arms, and a pretty face. Knowing how he'd seduced Ragnhild and made her his enthusiastic playmate had excited her. She'd been a little naughty with him in her kingdom, but she hadn't tried very hard to win him. Now she tried out the same formulation that had seemed to be working on him before.

The reaction was swift. One moment, he was staring at her. The next, he was growling, and the razor sharp ice was growing down his arms. She had the barest of warnings before he took a swipe. And then she was running for her life. Outside, a horrified Nadia was on her feet. Bonnie, calm as anything, poised her hand over the anaesthetic gas, turned to Sarah, and said, "back her up!" The android rushed down the hall to the outer door and opened it, poised to rush to Noemi's aid. Meanwhile, the Purple Princess continued dodging.

The big man was getting closer. Even maddened by Wildberry's toxin, he was cunning. Faster and faster he attacked, herding Noemi away from the door and escape. The pretty princess found her heart racing as she dialed her way through sequences of chemistry. "I don't understand why it's not working," rumbled Bonnie. "It worked just fine on my son." Bon had been so affected, he'd banged the shit out of Frenchie. Ragnhild shot to her feet, all color draining from her face, as she realized they'd guessed wrong. Billy hadn't been _attracted_. He'd gotten really angry because of all the flirting!

Hearing that, Drew said, "we have to stop the attempt!" Pointing towards Billy, who'd paused in his violent pursuit, Bonnie said, "no! It's working!" Indeed, Billy was standing there, staring at Noemi. "Everybody calm down," said Bonnie! "We got this!" As they watched, Noemi murmured soothing words, trying to calm the raging ice-wizard. Things were starting to look up... right until the bigman slashed the Purple Princess's dress in half. As the other princesses stared, Noemi threw an arm over her big knockers, letting out a shriek as she did so.

And then Noemi was running around that room again, Billy in hot pursuit.

With his face flushed, it was clear what he had in mind. As Noemi fled in just her panties, making a comic scene with her heavy boobies wobbling back and forth as she tore around the room, Ragnhild shouted at Bonnie to do something! _Anything_! She didn't want her hubby turned into a rapist! "I'm thinking," retorted the bubblegum princess. Meanwhile, Abeiuwa slipped down the hall to the entry. Sarah had just opened the inner door, preparatory to rushing to Noemi's rescue. Instead, Abeiuwa stepped past her, calling out, "William!" The big man immediately stopped what he was doing in favor of throwing himself at her feet.

Reaching out, the fallen princess began to stroke the big man's hair and face, almost like he was a favorite pet. Noemi, who'd been in an all out sprint, now stood huffing and puffing from her terrifying run, as she stared at the pair. Indeed she wasn't alone. Ragnhild had her face pressed to the glass as if trying to see that Abeiuwa did nothing else. Turning from the young man's strangely adoring face, the Lady of the Southern Jungles beckoned her colleague. Heart beating out a tattoo of utterest terror, Noemi nevertheless came up behind him, and Sarah could _smell_ the strange cocktail of chemicals she was emitting.

The change came with shocking speed. One minute, Billy had his face pressed into Abeiuwa's belly, while she stroked his hair, the next he was shaking himself and sneezing. As Sarah watched, nasty green goop came drooling out of Billy's nose and, surprisingly, out of Jungle Princess's nose too. Both spent a while snorting and blowing. Then Billy, who'd been teetering on the brink, seized Abeiuwa, asking, "are you ok?" Smiling, she answered, "I'm fine William..." The big man turned towards Noemi, but Sarah arrested him in mid-motion, saying, "let's get you two an EEG... I want to be sure you're both ok..." Leaving a half-naked Purple Princess behind, Sarah led the pair out of the containment cell and down the hall to the examination room.

Hundreds of miles away in Emerald Kingdom, their adversaries were dealing with fallout of a different sort. Maudie the Peanut Princess was in something of a snit after hours of negotiation with the Emerald Priness. She'd bent over backwards schmoozing prickly Aysun only to find that Maja had gone rogue and very nearly fucked up all the effort. "And what was I supposed to do, dearie," grumbled the witch? "I lost my temper. Sue me!" Which the nasty bitch had said several times already. What bothered Maudie was why she chose to have that meeting in the first place. The wench never had explained what had gone on the time she'd been out all night with him. Wildberry thought the nasty cunt had been having a taste of Finn's fat dick.

Pacing off nervous energy, Maja told her, "there was no help for it. The chance came, and I took it." Which she'd already said. Out of patience, the Peanut Princess demanded, "then why, in Glob's name, did you keep him _alive_?!" They weren't in the vampires' kingdom. They could have done him in and gotten away with it! With a wave, the Sky Witch gestured for their spymaster to speak. "Princess Bonnibel has one or more means of resurrecting the dead," said Agent Princess. Maudie's mouth hit the floor. "My agents tell me that Blargetha's commandoes succeeded in murdering the bubblegum princess in her palace," said Orzsebet. "The android resurrected her with some sort of chemical concoction." Maudie staggered to a chair and sat down. For a long, long while, she sat there, her mind imagining her husband, brought back to life. Bonnibel had sworn there had been nothing they could do for Ernst. She hadn't even _tried_!

Maja said, "it would have done little good just to kill him. Not when that bitch could bring him back to life somehow. We don't know how much of him they even need to do the deed. For all we know, she's got a fingernail clipping or lock of hair in a jar somewhere that they can use to restore him. Right now, though..." They had the King of Ooo as their prisoner. They were back in the game. With him in their power, plus potentially the Fire Bleeder, they had a chance.

Calm again, Maudie reported, "Aysun's thinking about our request. She's promised to respond in just days, but right now she wants to talk to her cabinet." "Gives us time," said Maja, which sounded suspiciously like she was just going to head on out to the spot and start digging. The nasty bitch was a veritable force of nature, and she never seemed to stop and think her actions through to their conclusion. Confirming the Peanut Princess's guess, the witch said, "you keep her busy. We'll fly out of here tonight and get on the ground. I want to see what I'm up against." It had taken a great deal of work to fish the Sleeper out of his swamp in the Misty Isles.

Asking the question that was on nearly everyone's mind, Orzsebet opined, "it seems like it would be easier to just go to the Maze and wish... Maybe even to have the Sleeper back." Mildly–more mildly than was her wont–Maja replied, "ever wish yourself into oblivion, Orzsebet? Watched one of my pets do that once. I'd spent _months_ crafting the wish too..." It had gone for naught. The Wishmaster had _howled_ laughter when her handpicked henchman got done. Calmly, Maja said, "I think we're done. Orzsebet's to dust the trail when we leave. I don't want anybody following. Maudie's to keep Aysun busy. Butter her up. Lie to her. Kiss her ass. Eat her out if you need to. Keep her out of my hair." Digging up the Fire Bleeder would take all her power. She'd have nothing left to fight off an itinerant army.

The pair left her, then. When they'd gone, the witch gestured, causing the doors to lock themselves. Strolling into her bedroom, the evil woman stopped before the frozen form of her adversary. Her fingers gently stroked one of the tiny scars on his much-battered face. "It takes a special fool to cheat a Wishmaster," she breathed. "It takes a madman to cheat one _twice_. Sleep well, Finn. We'll be talking soon." In the now, she went and curled up on the bed. She was at her limits, and she needed the rest if she was going to make a go of this.

On the far side of the palace, Finn's allies were having a meeting that was every bit as desperate, but for a different reason. Piotr the Grid Face Person stood in the middle of the suite assigned to the King of Ooo, looking utterly terrifying to the two breakfast princesses. With his mask off and his fearsome, cyborg visage glaring at them with two glowing reddish eyes, he had Breakfast ready to piss her skirt. "My niece vill kill me," he insisted. "If I come back widdout d'et man, my niece vill wring my neck like chicken..." He had been arguing, rather loudly, about calling for help since he'd been informed of Finn's abduction. The fact that the King of Ooo was in the witch's hands was all the more reason to rush to get help if anything. Toast had been talking him down from the ledge–trying to–while her sister sat there chewing on her nails in helpless anxiety.

Honestly, there were days that Toast thought Strudel was right. They were _useless_ , and Breakfast seemed to be the most useless of the three of them. She'd spent half her life and more trying to seduce Finn the Human–to make him her husband. Now that she finally had her hands on him, she was falling down on the job of holding on. Toast herself wanted to slap the oldest sister in her face. They'd gotten a second chance. Finn had, once again, snatched them out of a mess, and they'd gotten a second chance at life as other than targets for Wildberry's abuse. Breakfast was throwing everything away out of utter cowardice.

Calmly–far more calmly than she felt–Toast Princess reminded him, "we can't just go in with guns blazing, Your Excellency. I understand how Princess Nadia feels. Believe me, my sister and I have our own emotional attachment to the King of Ooo. Nothing's going to be served by stirring up a fight. It's not what he would have wanted if he were here to say." The tall cyborg looked hardly convinced of that. "Two hours," he muttered, as he turned to go. "Either you have plan in two hours, or I'm phoning this in..." And he left them just like that.

"Breakfast," snapped Toast! "Are you going to sit there like that?! Are you going to throw everything away?!" "B-but Toast," replied the older sister, "if she could snatch _Finn_ , what chance do _we_ have?" Angry, Toast snapped, "you threw away our Kingdom, big sister! You pulled us in with Bonnie, and then you just ran away when you got scared! You have a fucking spine made of jello!" The older woman wilted under her sister's harsh pronouncements, not least because every last one of them was true. More to the point, she'd seen one sister assaulted and now had the other in the clutches of their evil neighbor because she'd gotten cold feet. Breaking down, Breakfast lapsed into wrenching sobs, saying, "I'm sorry... I'm so _sorry_! I don't know what to do! I'm _scared_ , sis! I'm so scared!" Angry beyond measure, Toast slapped her across both cheeks. The time for tears was past. She'd cried all the tears she had–seemingly enough for a lifetime. Coldly, she said, "they'll leave with him. Probably tonight. Get your shit, sister. We're going to hitch a ride."

Late that night, Maja came striding into the Emerald Stables with Finn the Human bobbing along in her wake. She was dressed down in her working attire–loose-fitting grey-green dress over hiking boots. She was carrying a pack full of her dowsing rods and other working equipment. She didn't look particularly happy. Indeed, her expression suggested worry and turmoil rather than the serene look she usually projected. And Orzsebet thought she might have been forgiven for being disturbed to find the woman talking to herself.

"Big boy loaded," asked the witch? "Per your instructions," replied the spy. There was only one basket left. "Did you dust everything for interlopers," asked the witch? The spy flushed. Frowning, Maja said, "I can't have anybody getting in my way, Orzsebet. Did you search _every_ bag? Personally, like I asked?" Flushing, the Agent Princess said, "this is the last of them..." Drawing her dagger, she went up to the late-comer and began plunging the dagger deep into it. "Nothing," she said. "Good," said Maja. "Come along, Finn..." The limp form floated along in her wake as she began to climb into the howdah atop the war-elephant. Orzsebet hefted the heavy basket and began the climb up after her, fuming and muttering curses. If she didn't need the money...

No sooner had the younger woman deposited the basket in the howdah's superdimensional cargo compartment, than Maja was taking off. Orzsebet found herself flailing on the edge of disaster as she very nearly tumbled out of the howdah and plummeted to the ground. Fortunately, she managed to catch herself and gain the safety of the interior. Closing the door, she sat down in a corner before drawing out her latest manuscript. She thought this one had a chance of being published. Apparently, the real-life adventures of a real spy weren't all that interesting. She'd been shading her memoirs to make them more fantastic and exciting, which was a little humiliating. Now, with an adventure like _this_ under her belt–searching out an ancient super-weapon–she'd _finally_ get some cred. If she survived working for a half-mad witch who liked to talk to her defeated enemy.

Hundreds of miles to the north and west, a strange scene was playing out in the Fire Kingdom. In the chill night air of the high peaks, a pair of guards doing their endless rounds came across a strange figure standing beside one of their cells. Composed of a stark, neon-blue fire, the strange creature sent a chill of terror through the younger of the two guards. Striding forward, his superior shouted, "you there! What are you doing?! This location is off limits!" As the younger guard watched in shock, the strange creature planted a hand in the center of the sargent's chest. The older elemental's body flared up in brilliant orange light as he seemed to shed mass. In the blink of an eye, he was gone, leaving weapons and armor on the stone walkway.

Turning to the younger soldier, the blue-mystery calmly told him, "sorry kid..." That soothing, feminine voice told him, "it'll only hurt a little..." Coming to his senses, the elemental babbled, "s-stay away from me!" But the strange entity was already darting forward. Slamming into the hapless youth, that brilliant blue flame flowed inside his armor, becoming almost intimately acquainted. Just as quickly, it was gone again. The youth clutched at his chest, just before exploding into a million tiny sunmotes. Randy, who'd been craning his neck to see, jumped back as Shoko materialized before him. "Time to get you out of there, babe," she said, as she overpowered the shielding protecting the cell door.

Morning in the Emerald Kingdom found Piotr leading the Ice Queen and her mother up to the entry of the suite where he'd left Breakfast and Toast. They found the door open and immediately became concerned. After the news Piotr had delivered on their arrival, they feared Maja had come here to tie up loose ends. Inside they found Breakfast laying on the couch, clutching a cushion and looking like she'd been crying all night long. As the trio came through the door, the startled princess sat up, her expression bleak and her eyes haunted. Before Simone could say a word, it all came tumbling out. Toast had gone to stow away on the elephant, hiding in a basket to get put aboard with the rest of the luggage. She'd been gone for hours now.


	39. Chapter 39

Chapter 39:

"Boy, you sure are a dumbass," said E.

She was hovering before him–a shimmering entity of ephemeral beauty. A groggy Finn replied, "come again." Smacking him on the cheek, the entity severely told him, "you're a jackass. They told you not to go off on your own, and yet here you are. And here I am trying to save your dumb ass one more time." The big man frowned at her. "Wait," he said. "What gives? E wasn't even there when the girls tried to talk me out of going." Primly, the entity replied, "I use this image because it's familiar to you..." Frowning, Finn asked, "who are you?" "I'm part of you, but separate," said the entity. "I'm called Sybil." "Y-you're the Grass Sword," he burbled. "Score one for the big, blue dufus," retorted the entity.

Glancing around him at the strange landscape he found himself in, he realized he was still dreaming. "You're in lucid-state now," she explained. "Somewhere between dreaming and waking life. You're also in Maja's clutches." Which made even less sense. She had him at her mercy. She could have just killed him out of hand. "Don't ask me," said the entity. With a giggle, Sybil opined, "maybe she wants some of that big dick..." Maja's voice came to him from out of the ether. She was humming a tune and mumbling about something. It was just on the edge of his consciousness. Giggling again, Sybil told him, "now I'm _sure_ of it." As he glared at her in irritation, she coldcocked him, punching him hard as she could.

Finn shot up out of the darkness, finding himself in a dark, broiling hot place. It was a cavern of some sort. He was floating–captured in some kind of energy field. Reaching out, he found the field didn't injure, but it seemed perfectly capable of holding him prisoner. _How long was I out,_ he thought? _Over a day,_ came the answer. _Sybil,_ he asked? _The same,_ replied the cursed sword. _Any idea where we are,_ he asked? _I felt dry air,_ said the sword, _then this heat._ They were in the desert south and east of Aysun's Kingdom. Just as he had feared, Maja had found the Fire Bleeder.

Back in the Candy Kingdom, Billy the Human walked into his first council meeting in months with his wife at his side. Ragnhild was somewhere south of happy for him to be back at work so soon, but Billy had insisted. He'd had a bit of an epiphany brooding on his failure in Jungle Kingdom. He'd been a lot less committed to things than the rest of the family. He was more than a little guilty of wanting to go home with Ragnhild and pretend nothing was happening in the world. Honestly, he could have called himself _jealous_ of Marshall. Marshall had declared himself _neutral_ with their father's blessing.

Except.

Marshall was the King of Vampires with an unholy power to unmake the world. Tainted by the hand of Death himself, Marshall was constantly on the edge of the abyss. It made _sense_ for him to recuse himself from this ugly conflict. Meanwhile Bon, Fionna, and Star had thrown themselves into things wholeheartedly–when Bon and Fionna had kids that depended on them and Star was trying to build a family of her own. Everybody was putting their all into protecting the world. Hell, his father had sacrificed everything that mattered. Three times. Billy felt like a child by comparison. That needed to change. A child couldn't be a father. He would be a failure by default!

If that wasn't enough, Oreva was still out there, somewhere. He didn't exactly feel responsible. Wildberry was responsible for what had happened. He did feel concern for a man who'd been slowly becoming a friend. He was worried about Abeiuwa, who seemed to be suffering a profound sadness, and he was worried about Oreva. But worry was wasteful. It was time to roll up his sleeves and get busy.

Bonnie had the chair in Finn's absence. The pink princess looked a little haggard. All the stepmoms looked worn out. It was another sign of just how bad things had been with Billy down and his father rushing around to put out the fire of the moment. Fortunately both he and Patrick would be back in circulation. Fresh from a long stint in Wizard City hunting through dusty tomes in the library, Patrick was tired and drawn but alert. "We've rooted out four Wildberry clones," said the candy monarch. "Two in Chocago, one in the wilds south of Candy Town, and one trying to infiltrate the Capitol." The Grid-Face people were on the lookout for the one who'd infiltrated their lands, and Ragnhild's people had disposed of their little problem already. In point of fact, the Froyo Guard was in the process of forting up the major towns and cities.

"That's not a permanent solution," said Billy. "She got two clones into Candy-Town. What're we doing to prevent that happening again?" Yawning, Sarah said, "I'm working on ramping up production of the anti-toxin. That will keep us going for a while..." At Billy's frown of worry, Sarah told him, "you won't suffer a relapse, Bill, but we can't be certain there aren't things Wildberry can do to alter the spores. Every encounter with her or the clones will be dangerous. We'll need everyone at risk to mask up." Fortunately, the meatheads weren't exactly subtle. They were pretty easy to spot and avoid.

The stepmoms had things going their way just now. Billy found himself growing a little calmer. Ragnhild had news about some of the fence-sitters. With Wildberry and her friends flailing, they were starting to get overtures about coming back into the fold. Right now, it was mostly people too far away to be immediately affected by this little war, but that could be a blessing in disguise. Far away as some of those Royals were, they wouldn't need defending right off the bat. If anything, they might have resources to throw in the fight.

As Billy moved to suggest just that, Cherry came in. Striding past him, the little woman shocked him by kissing him on the cheek. As he stared, the Mafia Princess stepped to the middle of the gathering and said, "we're in a pickle, ladies. Simone's landed in Emerald Kingdom. News couldn't be worse. Finn's in Maja's hands."

Billy was immediately on his feet, as the gathering dissolved into a shouting match. Bonnie pounded her gavel into the desk until she finally had order. Then she motioned for her best frenemy to speak. "It's not good, ladies," she said. "Maja's got a solid line on the Fire Bleeder. She's gone off to dig it up. She's got Finn as her prisoner. And if that wasn't enough, Wildberry's also on the move." The room erupted again, but it was a little easier for Bonnie to restore order. The voice of calm in their midst said, "it isn't good, ladies, but we're still in the game. Nadia's uncle has detected an electronic trail leading into the desert. Chances are pretty good that it's Toast. Simone believes it leads to where Maja's currently holed up. She and Betty are headed out there." Abeiuwa asked the obvious question, "and Wildberry?"

"She's been spotted in Turtle Kingdom," said Cherry. Frowning, Ragnhild burbled, "but there's nothing _there_! Just books!" The gangster rolled her eyes and said, "there's deadlier weapons than guns, Ragnhild. Knowledge is a weapon all its own..." Bonnie gasped in sudden shock and fear. "There's _two_ deadly monsters," she burbled. Simone herself had said it. The ancients had created two other monsters of the same class as the Sleeper. The Fire Bleeder was the most dangerous, but there was a second hidden in the nameless wastes between kingdoms. Billy, who'd been about to volunteer to go on the rescue mission to save his dad now found himself facing a deadly Hobson's choice. If Wildberry was searching for the second monster, there was a real risk that the threat didn't end with beating Maja. "Are we certain of this," he asked? "It fits, Bill," Cherry replied. "She's taken a small entourage, and she's moving fast and staying hidden. She's been avoiding all the places where she might have been expected to go." "And Wildberry's not exactly the scholarly type," rumbled Bonnie. "Cherry's right. She's snooping for something dangerous." Every face there turned to Billy. Taking a deep breath, he said, "I'm on it. Pat? Get your gear. It looks like we're up."

Ragnhild looked stricken. Turning to his beloved wife, the big man said, "I won't get to be a dad–to have all those great times–if the world ends, babe. I'd... I'd rather be remembered by the boys as the man who went out swinging, trying to make the world better, than as the dufus who died at home, watching everything burn because he tried to hold onto what he had." Glancing away, the Froyo Princess nodded. The big man told the gathering, "I'll take a handful of guards... the guys who can keep up. We're going to have to move fast and stay quiet too if we're going to catch her. I'll report in as soon as I've got news to report." Cherry said, "be careful, Bill. Turtle Kingdom is officially neutral. We can't overtly help you..." "...yeah," he agreed, "we can't drag the other kingdoms in. Not like this. Got it." And then he and Patrick were gone, headed to gather up their gear and get on the road.

In short order, Finn's wives were all gathered around a very distraught Ragnhild. "It doesn't get easier," said Cherry, "but those kids need you. Pull yourself together. We've got to keep fighting." And right now, the best choice they could make was to help Fionna finish the campaign in Maudie's Kingdom. If she finished the drive to link up with the Grey Forest, Nadia might be able to swing another Tesla Generator to blockade the forest's southern boundary. With half of Maudie's domain in their hands, they'd be encroaching on Wildberry's allies. It would make very good leverage. Nodding, Ragnhild said, "I've... I've been thinking about that. I've been thinking that Phoebe's trustworthy... I-I could deploy the rest of my army. Instead of watching the Fire Kingdom, I could help Fionna finish smashing the Nut-Guard." Bonnie said, "let's go with that, then. I'll get word to Nadia to step on it with the new generator."

Elsewhere, the Sky Witch returned to her camp to find Finn probing the edges of his prison. "Evening, Finn," she said. "Figured you'd be out a few more hours." As he watched, she sat down on a handy rock, opened one of the baskets she'd brought, and began working on the lunch inside. She was halfway down through the little container of hummus when she suddenly looked up again. The witch stared at him, her dark eyes burning into his for a few moments. Then, suddenly, she asked, "hungry?" "I'm good," he replied. With a shrug, she said, "suit yourself." As she worked on her lunch, the big man asked, "about that... Why...?" "Are you still alive," she asked? "Because it would hardly do me good to kill you right now, Finn. You're in my power, you see. And you have an inherent value."

"Is that what your world comes down to," he asked? His face was strangely calm, though his words sounded angry. "Women want things, Finn," she replied. "You should know that by now. Men have... different instincts. Men think of how the world sees them and what they leave behind when they go. Women think of how to be comfortable and enjoy the moment they have." "But sometimes women can think of something beyond that," he replied. She stopped right where she was, and she stared at him a moment. Calmly, he said, "sometimes a woman sees that the things she wants are interfering with the joy of the moment..." Her face went hot, and she glanced away, telling him he'd scored a hit. Indeed, Maja got up and stalked off into the darkened cavern.

A voice from behind him said, "you shouldn't do that." It was Orzsebet. The Agent Princess came around to face him, and she growled, "you shouldn't stir her up. She's hell when she's angry." "All she can do is kill me, Orzsebet," Finn retorted, "and she'll likely do just that anyway. When I no longer have value, I'll be gone. You better hope that happens before I get my hands on _you_." Her face curled into a frown. Calmly, he said, "I don't like you, Orzsebet. I've, in fact, _never_ liked you. There was a time I considered snapping your neck or slowly squeezing the life out of you..." As he spoke, the ugly _thing_ that masqueraded as his arm showed itself–a writhing mass of vines and thorns. As his arm returned to normal appearance, he advised her, "don't ever let me have a chance because it will be the last breath you take."

The villainess made haste to be away from there. At the very least, she took herself out of his sight. Finn sat down in the strange confinement bubble he found himself in. _Well,_ said Sybil, _that was special._ She didn't understand why he'd done that. In her mind, he'd revealed one of his cards without playing it. Now they would be aware of her power. _They know about you already,_ he replied. _Orzsebet's spied on me for years. I wanted her gone so I could test the limits of this cage._ He had other weapons at his disposal. Maja had taken Nadia's gift from him, but she'd missed the Grid-Person bubble-generator in his belt-buckle. He had ideas as to how he could use that to get himself free.

High above the desert, Piotr the Grid-Face person steered his airship in long, slow, lazy circles as his passengers looked out at the strange sights far below. The glittering waste was a marvel. At least from a distance, it was a marvel. Up close, it was a terrifying wasteland of razor-sharp obsidian that could slice through shoes, clothing, and _flesh_ with ease. Deadly particles of flying glass often filled the air, carried by the winds. That dangerous air would scar your airways and cause you to hemorrhage in your lungs if you didn't take precautions. And if that wasn't enough, the area had radioactive hot-spots scattered across the land and a semi-molten patch of ground that made an obvious hiding place for the Fire Bleeder.

 _And Maja's down there with Finn,_ thought Simone. Her husband was in the clutches of a mortal enemy. Seeing the look on Simone's face, Betty took her hand and gave it a squeeze. "C'mon, kiddo," she said. "Time to get out of that dress." She gave her girl a salacious wink. Blushing–she had vague memories of her mother's _interest_ in girls–Simone nodded. There'd be no space to be fashionable on this trip. The pair headed aft to get into the protective suits they'd be wearing below. Piotr would have to head back out to the desert where he could land and conserve fuel, so he'd be leaving them below for a while.

Back in the Candy Kingdom, Billy was saddling up for his own business, and Ragnhild had come down with Anders and Simon to see him off. Anders had all but begged to be held, and Billy had him on one hip, while he cradled little Simon with his free hand. He was a different man than Patrick. The younger man found himself wondering at that. Billy hadn't ever had any trouble believing in love and fatherhood. Patrick doubted nearly everything. From his own abilities as a dad and husband to their chances of getting through this mess, he doubted everything. Billy just drove right on through. A lot like his dad. It was complicated. The man who some people called the Big Blue Dufus was a complex man, able to see the problems with crystal clarity but somehow able to work through them without the paralyzing doubt. It was something he was going to have to work on if he wanted to keep his little family intact long term.

After kissing his boys thoroughly, the big man kissed their beautiful mom, saying, "hold down the fort, babe. I'll be back." And just like that, he turned and headed off to meet fate head-on. He was becoming the sort of man his father was. Hefting his bag and his equipment, Patrick stepped off after him.

The flight to Turtle Kingdom wasn't long, but it took them over some of the most hostile and rugged terrain around. The upheaval and devastation of the Mushroom War had rendered the area inhospitable, and the turtles liked things that way. Located in a semi-impenetrable coastal marshland within striking distance of Oceanside and its packs of rapacious bandits, they needed the isolation just to survive. Now they thrived by selling secrets and access to knowledge. Their leader wasn't an overlord so much as he or she was foremost scholar in a land where the average person on the street held knowledge lost to time. Billy reflected on that. Part of him had wanted to come to this place and be part of the fabric here. He was a man in love with books. He and JJ had shared that. When the shapechanger hadn't been running her schemes, she loved to sit down and read a good book with him. That past, Bill, he decided. Knowing now what he hadn't known then, he could see what a fantasy that was. JJ had been irredeemable, and it was past time he accepted it.

Walking off the plane, he found himself standing in the middle of a strange little town that was as much a collection of hovels and burrows as it was a city. Low mounds pierced by windows and doorways rubbed elbows with ancient structures from before the fall. And everywhere you looked there seemed to be a shingle proudly proclaiming the premises housed a library. Indeed books were everywhere on display. Street-hawkers looked to be as likely to sell reading material as food. It was going to be a little tougher than he thought to find their quarry.

"Whassamatter," teased Patrick? "Street-skills not cover this?" The big man frowned at his step-brother/brother-in-law. That was a weird combination, but it was what they had to work with. "And you've got a better idea," Billy retorted? "Yeah," chuckled Patrick. "Been here a dozen times with mom and dad." He stepped off. Hefting his gear, Billy fell in at his side. "Everything revolves around the list of reputable scholars," said the Ice-King's son. "If you're on the list, people get steered to you for the knowledge you have. If you're not, they have to hit the black market to find you." "Berry-bitch's got friends down low," said Bill. "I think we need to hit the black market first." Patrick frowned at him. Calmly, the soldier asked, "do you think someone on the reputable list is going to casually tell her where to find the Bear?"

Patrick had to admit he was right. "So what's your plan," he asked? With a shrug, Billy answered, "Wicked Stepmom must have a few twisted turtles we can lean on. I'll call for directions. You hit the government's office, let 'em know we're here. They may have some idea who she could be meeting." It hadn't taken long for the big man to assert himself. Patrick found himself chagrined to realize he'd do just as Bill suggested. The two separated Billy heading for the sleazy end of town while Patrick headed for government square.

Meanwhile the two young men's mothers explored the twists and turns under Emerald Kingdom. They had picked up the trail with ease, finding Toast had left definite sign of which way she'd gone. Cherry had been torn between blind rage at Breakfast and worry over Finn, but it now seemed like this might work out. In spite of the awful things she'd experienced, Toast was a brave little thing. As the pair journeyed through a foul, fetid atmosphere, Simone periodically stopped to figuratively sniff the air. She spoke little, but Betty thought she was _deeply_ troubled. When her daughter stopped for the tenth time, Betty finally asked the question. "Is it bad," she murmured? With a heavy sigh, Simone replied, "yeah. I-I feel it. It's waking up..."

Suddenly the Ice Queen stepped off. As Betty called after her, Simone strode up to a strange object lying in the dirt of the tunnel. While the older woman watched in worry, her daughter turned that object over and over. Betty didn't really like what this did to Simone. Moments like these, she came dangerously close to her father's old memories of his time as the Ice King. Those old memories were double jeopardy for the younger woman. If not that those thoughts weren't hers at all, they were memories of a deep, dark madness. Taking the object from her daughter's hands–breaking the spell on Simone–Betty asked, "what is it?" Letting out a heavy sigh, Simone murmured, "a seal. Maja's destroyed it."

It was ominous news. There were twelve seals keeping the Fire Bleeder asleep. How many had Maja broken? How close was she? Laying the broken seal down, Simone said, "we better pick up the pace, mom." Maja might well be near the end. Fortunately, Simone had come armed with a plan to thwart the witch. After, they could look for Finn.

Back in Turtle Kingdom, Billy the Human got off the phone with his stepmother and looked up at the place he found himself standing before. Her directions had been spot on. Dirch's Memory Emporium. This was the place. Dirch had been dead for two centuries, but his crooked descendants still ran the place for fun and profit. Billy prepared his mind and readied a few choice spells before walking in through the door. Wildberry could be anywhere nearby, and though he had the antidote in his pocket, ready to jab himself in the leg if needed, he didn't want to put himself through that kind of risk again.

The squat, blocky structure was filled to the brim with books and dusty old artifacts from the time before the bombs. As he journeyed through those aisles, Billy found himself remembering things his dad had said. Finn the Human got soul-searchy when he was in places like this. He had once been the last human in all of creation before Betty got pulled forward in time and Simon got cured of his madness. Truthfully, Billy's father _still_ got a little out of sorts. Real humans had built this place and made the things here. This was all that was left of the age of humanity. When you got right down to it, Billy felt much the same. This was their common legacy.

The scent of centuries of crud came close to making the big man retch or sneeze his eyeballs out. It was always bad when he found himself in a place like this. He wasn't as bad as his mom, but it was pretty bad to be in here. _So work fast, buddy,_ he told himself. Threading his way around stacks of old paper and crusty relics, he finally worked his way back to the working desk at the rear, where he found a couple of turtles standing on either side of a disused wooden counter, dickering over a dusty old platter that looked to have been made of silver. Just now it was tarnished and nasty.

"Hey," said Billy, as he approached. "I'm here looking for information on a very important artifact..." The turtle behind the counter severely shushed him. Smiling, Billy said, "I just need a moment of your time. It's kind of important. World-smashing important..." The other turtle told him, "we're conducting business. I suggest you get lost." With a chill smile, Billy froze the fellow's feet to the floor and his hands to the artifact he'd wanted to buy. Coolly, the big man said, "I'm looking for information. You can give me what I want, or I can _make_ you give me what I want."

That was where Patrick found him. The would-be customer was long gone, having begged and pleaded to be released. The owner of the establishment had gotten a long and unpleasant lecture about toying with the Mafia Princess's representative. Now they were talking in hushed voices about what the proprietor might have seen or heard in the last few days. The younger wizard hung back and waited on Billy to finish up. Smiling as if he was just hunting around for a book or keepsake for a friend, Billy pat the hapless turtle on the back before turning to go. "Hey, Patrick," he greeted his brother-in-law. "Bill," replied Patrick. "You going to unfreeze that guy's hands?" With a shrug, Billy said, "it's not undieing ice. It'll melt in an hour or so."

Outside, the pair compared notes. Patrick's discussions with the local law had been illuminating. "Some soft inquiries," said the younger man. "People asking quietly about texts from the time the War Beasts were made. Nobody much paid attention to it until I got there." Grimly, Billy said, "she's playing it quiet..." "She has to know that we'd get on the trail," said Patrick. "If Maja's in the East, who's she got to back her up?" She could make meatheads, but that was risky. Star had turned her coopted minions against her in Candy-Town. "Cherry's contact suggested that somebody in the biz is buying up access to tracts," said Billy. "Not buying the information outright, but the chance to look at it. I think you're right. She's waiting on making that move until she knows what she's looking for. That means we've got a chance to catch up." It was slim margin, but they were still in the game.

Patrick gave him a smile and said, "that brings us to the next piece of news. There's a showing of a book tonight. It's a history of the war that spawned the War Beasts." It was a safe bet that there was knowledge they could use right there. That meant Wildberry's minions might be in attendance. "And that means we're going," said Billy. Nodding, Patrick said, "I already booked us. We can eat and then get front-row-seats."

With Patrick in the lead, the two men went down to De Snaijer's Grand Reading Room and Library hard by the edge of town. The passes Patrick had negotiated for got them entry and a complimentary dinner, and the two sat down to watch their fellow visitors as dinner got served. There was an eclectic group there, ranging from mutants out of the wastelands to more civilized folk from the neighboring kingdoms. Any of them might have been Wildberry's agent, and Billy found himself fidgeting nervously all through dinner. He was a little spooked–a _lot_ spooked–by his experience as one of Berry-Bitch's 'meatheads', and he was a little concerned that he wouldn't be able to get his mask on in time. At the same time, sitting there in that room with every soul looking at them might have attracted negative attention if they were wearing masks.

Patrick was easily as nervous as his brother-in-law. After all, Billy wasn't the only one with a wife and kid that needed him. Patrick wanted to be there for every moment of Mona's life, and he couldn't do that if he was violently insane. As the minutes crawled by, and the crowd slowly worked their way through dinner, the pair played a game–guess who the stiff was and why he or she was here. Some of the people were scholars, complete with scholarly robes and equipment. Others were thugs–rough men with the muscle to safeguard the cash that was the finder's fee for the book.

The book itself sat atop a stone lectern, its worn bindings attesting to its age and the number of indifferent hands that had held it. Clearly the real deal, it almost seemed to call to Billy. In spite of his reasons for being here, he wanted to read that book–to _know_ what was inside those pages. As business got underway, the young man's mind wandered between work and his little family. He wanted to spend more time on Ragnhild–to spoil her. He wanted to ride the boys around on his shoulders like his dad had done. "Bill," murmured Patrick, interrupting his daydreams. "It's our turn..." Shaking himself, Billy got up and followed his brother in law down to the table where that dangerous piece of information sat.

The tome was ancient. Its fragile pages were coated in the waxy goop the turtles used to preserve old books. As Billy watched, Patrick put on a pair of gloves and began flipping pages. It quickly became clear the younger man was looking for something. Seeing Billy's interest, the younger man said, "looking for the curse mark of Tyndal the Despot..." Tyndal had written the seminal history of the Ancient Warbeasts. He'd sought to take them for his own army–to conquer all of Ooo. Flipping pages, the wizard finally found the evil tyrant's red trident on green background on page two-ten. "This is definitely the real deal," said Patrick. Now it was time to wait.

It was as the pair were making their way back to their seats that Billy noted that anomaly. There was something decidedly _odd_ about the turtle waiting in line five spots back. He was staring straight ahead, and his eyes looked glazed. _Meathead,_ thought the wizard? Surreptitiously he signaled Patrick to keep an eye on the fellow as the pair returned to their seats. Settling in to wait for the auction, the pair took up watch over their potential pigeon.

Back in Maja's camp, Finn was engrossed in working on the bubble generator. Maja and Orzsebet had both come and gone several times with the witch playing a very frightening series of head-games on her captive. Finn had frustrated the witch by refusing to rise to the bait. Now, motion in Finn's peripheral vision suggested something had gotten added to the mix. Toast Princess. Here. Rolling his eyes, Finn muttered curses. He'd told the pair of them to stay out of this. Now he found himself wanting to wring her neck. If his situation wasn't dire enough already, he now had to get Toast out of here too.

As he watched, the little woman came sneaking up to him, wearing a grin, and he knew exactly what she was thinking. After all the years of him rescuing her, the shoe was finally on the other foot. Shortly before she could proudly proclaim her success, a shadow stepped out from behind a pillar, shouting, "gotcha', you little shit!" Orzsebet. Snatching a knife from her belt, she put the razor-sharp blade against Toast's throat, demanding, "what the fuck are you doing here?!" Coolly, Finn said, "Orzsebet, I'd be very careful with what you're doing right now. Remember what I said earlier." The Agent Princess chuckled. In haughty tones, she told him, "you can't even get out of that trap!" Finn gave her a chill smile.

Just then, Maja returned, announcing, "what the fuck, Orzsebet?! I told you to dust trail! What's that runt doing here?!" Toast spat at the witch, and Orzsebet promptly slapped her hard enough that _Finn_ felt it. The little woman went down. "You ok, Toaster," Finn asked? "Yeah, Finn," she replied. "One of your cunts," demanded Maja? She sounded suspicious. "An old friend," Finn replied. "Why don't you let her go?" Maja chuckled. "Is that what you want, big boy," she asked? Cocking her hips to one side, she said, "it's two-hundred miles to the nearest place that _isn't_ razor-sharp glass and molten rock. I can let her out of here, or you can behave, big boy." Finn frowned at her. Glumly, Toast sighed, "sorry, Finn. I guess I blew it." "Not a problem, Toaster," Finn replied. "It'll just take me a little longer to get us out of here."

Those words made the Sky Witch _howl_ laughter. She laughed a long two minutes, and even Orzsebet found that a little creepy. When she finally got done, she told the Agent Princess, "tie that cunt up. Do a good job, or I might skin you." Striding up to Finn, the witch said, "no more interruptions, Finn. Be a good boy, and I won't have to carry out that sanction." And she walked back into the tunnel, carrying one of her dousing rods.

Back in Turtle Kingdom, Billy and Patrick sat waiting as the auction began. The book was the real deal, and everybody in the audience could see that. Now the question was how much did they want to pay. For Billy and Patrick, the primary objective was to find out who won and make sure that book got secured where Berry-Bitch couldn't get it. The auction, like most such things, began slowly, with the master of ceremonies doing his best to talk up the price. As the bidders slowly drove the price skyward, Billy kept his eyes on the strange turtle that had seemed so out of sorts during the viewing. He was the problem child. Billy was sure of it.

The turtle bid slowly and strategically. He clearly wanted to book, but he didn't want to go all in too soon. Indeed, Billy would almost have said he was fighting with something. _Could she be controlling him,_ Billy thought? Frowning, he turned and peered at the little fellow, trying not to be obvious about it. That was when he saw it. The turtle was wearing an earbud for a phone. And it was turned on. "Patrick," said Billy. "Yeah, Bill," replied the wizard. His eyes were on another interested party down front near the book. "Our turtle-buddy's got an earbud in his right ear," said Billy. "It's on." Patrick was about to say, 'so what', when he remembered Star and Fionna's story about the meatheads in Candy-Town. He had to catch himself from spinning around to look. Instead, he took a really good look at the fella down on the front row. "Mine's got one too, Bill," said Patrick.

Before Billy could do much more than frown, the man in the back calmly stood up, drew a gun out of his robes, and opened fire, gunning down the MC. Simultaneously the fellow Patrick had been watching jumped up and grabbed the book. In the ensuing chaos as turtles and mutants rushed the doors, the thief got lost in the crowd. But Billy knew where he was going. Conjuring a wall of ice, he blocked in the panicked crowd, giving he and Patrick a chance to reach the door. Patrick was hot on his heels as the big man ran out into the early evening darkness.

They rushed outside to find their thief about to hand the book to two familiar figures. "Wildberry," snarled Billy! The rotten berry frowned back at him. "You're supposed to have killed that cunt or died in the effort," she burbled. "Yeah," said Billy. "About that..." And he hurled a razor-sharp ice-javelin at her face. That was when Oreva ducked in, deflecting the javelin with his shield. Leveling his spear at Billy, the big man fired a steel dart back. Only Patrick's timely intervention saved him from being skewered as Billy the Human was too busy staring at the sight he was presented with. "Cat got your tongue," giggled Wildberry.

The big man looked nothing like the aging warrior Billy remembered. This Oreva was thin and fit with dark purple hair cropped close to his skull. With a body covered in lean, hard muscle, he was exactly the sort of man Billy pictured the proud Jungle Princess taking as a consort. Unfortunately, he also had stringy vines growing out of his nose. Wildberry was controlling him. "You let him go, you fucking bitch," howled Billy! "Uh, Bill," burbled Patrick. It appeared that Oreva wasn't the only threat here. There were a dozen meatheads nearby. Indeed, seeing who they were facing, Patrick quickly donned his mask. As he and the Jungle Kingdom's fallen consort slowly circled, Billy growled, "what did you do?" "Made some improvements," chuckled Wildberry. "Mmm... He's nice and strong now. I've practically turned back the clock. I could do it for you too... You just have to serve me..."

"Never," growled the ice-wizard. "So sure," asked the Bad Berry? Patrick knew she was releasing her spores. He could faintly smell the bitter scent. Fortunately the mask he wore kept him safe. Shockingly, Billy shrugged off the toxic pheremone stew. "Huh," said Wildberry. "Never seen that happen before." With a shrug, she said, "ok. Hard way. Oreva? Kill him." And then the fight was on.

Billy rushed forward, swinging twin ice-blades. Oreva dodged and deflected those deadly blows, as he thrust and stabbed with his spear and turned brutal shield-bashes on the younger man. "Snap out of it," Billy shouted! "You've got to snap out of it!" Young Billy smacked the older man hard against his temple, stunning him. For a brief second, the big man stopped, and he seemed to remember who he was. "Oreva," snapped Wildberry! "Come!" Shaking himself, the fallen consort hurled a small object to the ground. The glass glob immediately shattered, causing a caustic fog to arise. Billy jumped back from the poison smoke. At the same time, a pack of meatheads came rushing out of the darkness. As Wildberry and Oreva fled the scene, the two wizards got to grips with the mess the pair had left for them.

Back in the desert, Maja had returned to her camp once more to find that Orzsebet had things in hand once more. The little runt was tied up, and she glared daggers at the witch as she came in from a side tunnel. "What," asked the witch? "You want me to skin you, runt?" Toast spat curses at her. "Wasn't me that did you dirty," said the witch. "You were worth more to me unhurt, but I can just as easily alter that equation if you keep talking." The little princess shut her mouth. "Better," said Maja, as she stopped in front of Toast Princess. "You're still valuable to me," said the evil woman. "Hold your tongue, and you might get through this."

"But _you_ might not," announced a voice.

Finn glanced up to find his beautiful wife coming through another tunnel entrance. "Ice-Queen," burbled the Sky Witch. "I'd say well-met, but we're kind of enemies. How'd you get here, by the way?" Simone gave her a deadly smile that suggested maybe she wouldn't really want that answer. "Orzsebet," said Maja. "I'm going to kick your ass when we get out of here." Calmly, she produced a glowing ball of incandescent flame. Holding that ball of energy up near Toast's face, the witch said, "you better get, or I'll set this little cunt ablaze. You wouldn't want that on your conscience, would you?" "There's two of us to one of you," Betty reminded her. "You hurt Toast, and you won't be leaving here alive."

"Orzsebet," growled the witch. "Earn your keep, glob-dammit!" The spy moved to position herself–and the pair of pistols she'd just drawn–where she could cover Betty. That was when Finn made his move. Triggering the bubble-generator, he calmly watched as it burst Maja's forcefield from within. Then, as a startled Orzsebet spun to face him, he snatched her up with the grass-sword, wrapping tendrils around her legs, arms, and head. Without so much as a word, he began to slowly pull his cunty nemesis apart.

Orzsebet squealed and screamed, emptying her bladder in terror before she began to beg. Maja was stunned, and all she could was stare at Finn. "So," said the big man as he held Agent Princess at the ragged edge of death, "looks like we have a stand-off." "Well played, Finn," Maja sniffed. "I thought I lifted all the weapons and gadgets you had off of you." Finn shrugged. "Still," said Maja, "the little bitch failed me. It's no skin off my nose if you tear her into little gobbets of meat." Wheezing, Orzsebet pleaded for her life in pitiable tones. Her joints were starting to feel the strain now. It felt like her arms and legs would start to come off.

"Finn," said Simone in plaintive tones. She clearly didn't like what he was doing. Finn shrugged, saying, "teaching a lesson, hon. You go on with what you were doing." Shaking herself, the Ice Queen turned to the Sky Witch and said, "you walk clear of here. Get on your elephant and go." "Or what, Queenie," retorted Maja. "I'm holding the cards here..." And then, as if to mock her, the ground began to shake. Maja's eyes darted back and forth, and it was clear that something was wrong. Giving her foe a sinister smile, Simone said, "you were saying?"

As the ground shook, Maja stared around her in obvious fear. Her hard, unfriendly eyes burned into Simone's. The Ice Queen's eyes were just as hard as she stared back. In chill tones, the Skywitch demanded, "what did you do, dearie?" Simone said not a word. They had a bit of a stand off. Loosening his grip on Orzsebet, Finn calmly said, "hon? That quake's pretty strong. Whatcha' got goin'?" "The seals that keep the Fire Bleeder asleep must be broken in sequence, Finn," Simone replied. "If someone _reinstates_ a seal out of sequence..." The color drained out of Maja's face. Then she jumped on Simone and tried to choke her, shouting, "you fucking bitch! You'll get us all killed!"

Calmly, Finn pulled the raging woman off his wife. As the ground shook, the big man asked, "what's going to happen?" With a shrug, Simone said, "the Fire Bleeder will come suddenly awake with no-one in control. It will likely go on a rampage." In short, she was gambling that Maja would back down. Turning to Maja, who looked like she was ready to bolt, Finn asked, "how do we stop it?" "W-we don't have _time_ ," Maja howled! "Those seals are _miles_ apart!" Calmly, Finn said, "that's not a problem. Babe? Get Toast and Orzsebet out of here. If I don't succeed, you and Billy will have to stop this..." The big man snatched Maja off her feet. And then he was gone.

Betty stood staring after him. Simone, though, was already moving on. She'd lost her husband–given him up–so many times already that this pain was becoming almost _familiar_. Calmly, she bound the semi-conscious Agent Princess in bands of ice. Then she moved to pick up the belt Finn had left on the ground. Coming back across to Toast, she moved to fasten it about the breakfast cutie's middle, saying, "this will protect you from the conditions outside the tunnels–at least until we can signal Piotr's aircraft." Betty babbled, "w-what's going to happen to Finn?" "We'll likely find him on the edge of the burn," Simone replied. "If he's successful. If not..." She would have to find her son. Together they had the power to maybe stop the Fire Bleeder. In the now, it was time to get out of here before the tunnels became uninhabitable.

Simone got the four of them moving, gathering up the radios and other equipment they needed to survive and pushing her mother along when the older woman would have likely gone to pieces. It was a bitter sort of irony. The woman who'd laughed at Simone's endless worries and urged her to set them aside was now feeling the bitter sting of those same worries. Much like her husband, Simone had other things on her mind. She had to get these three out of here, and she had to prepare to backstop her husband's efforts to stop the Fire Bleeder. Those were the things that mattered now, and she'd do her crying later if the chance ever came.

For his part, Finn the King went racing through the tunnels with barely any idea where he was going. Maja could hear, almost as though she were listening through a wall, as he cajoled and almost begged her to tell him where to go. Knowing the risk–her heart was beating like a drum–the witch nevertheless began to do just what he asked. She shouted at first, and, when that barely sufficed, she used her powers, sending her thoughts to him through the strange barrier that surrounded the both of them. The first seal came up seemingly an hour after they set out, but she knew it was just moments. The ground was still shaking.

When Finn set her down, the witch all but dove for the seal. Taking up the shattered stone cube, she fit the pieces against each other and began knitting them together with unholy flame. She could feel the thing as it began to pulse with the life it had been meant to sap from the Fire Bleeder. It pulsed in time with the ancient War Beast's heart. Almost before she even realized that the seal was repaired, Finn was tugging on her arm. There were at least ten more to go.

The shaking was getting worse by the moment, with the hero and the witch able to feel it even inside the strange bubble they moved in. Maja focused on feeding Finn directions as they moved around the circular network of tunnels surrounding the Fire Bleeder. One by one, she led the big man to the broken seals. Each time, the witch gathered up the broken bits of the seals and fused the remnants back together, charging them with her powers. The ground was shaking so hard when they reached the sixth seal, the witch could hardly keep her feet. She found herself in a state of panic, and she shouted at Finn, begging him to get them out of there. Calm as a windless day, the big man said, "we have time. Do what you need to do." His hands drew hers together. "Ok," she gulped. Closing her eyes, she poured energy into the seal, mending the broken disc. Slowly the shaking began to subside.

It was only when the shaking had become a low, muted rumble that Maja realized that she'd fallen. Finn reached down and levered the witch to her feet, and, for a moment, they stood staring at each other. It was over. Somehow the beast she'd been so close to resurrecting had gone quiet once more. _Seven,_ she thought. The Ice Queen had mended one of the seals already. They were over the fifty-percent mark. "Well," she muttered. "I guess that's that." Muttering curses, the witch began to walk. It was too dangerous now. She would have had to restore all twelve seals and literally start the process all over again. Only now the element of surprise was gone, and she could expect interference.

Despair wanted to crowd in on her as she began to walk back down the tunnel towards where she'd left her ride. "You won't make it," said Finn, as he snatched her off her feet once more. The tunnels were unstable, and he _knew_ sections had collapsed. He'd felt them as he went by. It would only take a chance misstep, and she'd be crushed. Focusing his mind on the curse, the big man leaped figuratively into the unknown. Maja glanced up in shock to find they were back at her camp, just feet from the surface. "Don't dawdle," he told her. "Get your shit." Which was almost like him saying, 'we're leaving'.

The prideful witch wanted to defy him. At the same time, he was her ticket out of here, and she knew he'd leave her. He was a man who didn't take shit from women. Not a lot of it, anyway. Working quickly, the irritated witch gathered up all she could. His restless hands told that he was anxious to be away, and honestly, she knew he was right. The camp was no more stable than the rest. Finn scooped the woman up and the few baskets that she'd gathered in, and then they were off. In the space of a breath, they were back on the surface.

"The air's worse," he said. He could feel it. It stung his lungs if he breathed deeply of it. _So don't breathe,_ Sybil reminded him. At his questioning thought, she explained, _I got this. You worry about getting us out of here._ Finn turned to the Ancient Psychic Tandem War Elephant. "Been a while," he told the War Beast. If the elephant were ashamed of present circumstance, he didn't complain. Instead, he lowered the ladder for the howdah. Maja didn't hesitate to climb up. Assured that she'd leave him in a heartbeat, Finn scrambled up after her, carrying a few of the things she couldn't manage on her own. Standing in the howdah, the big man looked around them. There was no sign of the airship, and he guessed that Simone had obeyed him.

Maja was silent as they flew on across the desert, headed north and west towards Emerald Kingdom. Finn was content to keep the silence. They were in a strange truce just now, and he didn't really think they needed to be fighting atop the War-Elephant as it flew a couple-thousand feet above the ground. For that matter, he thought Maja didn't want a fight either. So they rode along in silence as the moon spun across the sky. Near midnight, Maja brought the elephant to the ground, dropping out of the cloudless sky to land near an oasis.

Before Finn could even ask 'why here', Maja said, "I just paid my debt to you. I'm stopping for the night. Tomorrow, if I see your face, it will be war." Without a further word, she gathered up her bags and the shreds of her dignity, and climbed down. Finn followed along, a little more slowly. When he'd reached the ground, he took a good look around him.

They had landed next to a sleepy little hostel in the middle of nothing. There was only the endless desert sand, the beautiful pool of midnight-black that stood beside it, and the strangely verdant patch of ground around them. Butt wig-wagging back and forth, Maja strode for the door of the place. Finn, still a little angry about all that had gone on and the terrible disaster they'd just narrowly averted, set off after her. _What're you doing,_ Sybil asked? "Having my say," Finn muttered. Neither of them was ready for war, so this was as good a time to make a pitch for peace as he was going to get.

Maja went straight up into the hotel and straight to the desk, where the sleepy clerk snapped awake in surprise. "I hadn't expected another caravan for a week," he babbled! "Money's come early," muttered the witch. She slapped coins on the counter, saying, "room for one, dearie. And take my stuff upstairs." She glared at Finn. The big man said, "we need to talk." "About _what_ , dearie," she retorted? Turning to the clerk, she said, "it's Maja. As in the Sky Witch." The startled bellhop bobbed his head in obsequious fashion. "And the mister," he asked? "Finn," replied the hulking bruiser before him. "You know who I am." The bellhop did indeed. His terror seemed to ratchet up a notch. "The bags, kid," said Maja.

The bellhop snatched up the Sky Witch's things and headed for the stairs. When she would have stepped off after him, Finn grabbed her by the arm. "You sure you want to fight now," she asked? Calmly, Finn said, "we need to talk..." She said, "I'm listening." But she stepped off just like she wasn't. Muttering curses, Finn stepped off after her. "What you did was irresponsible," he said. "Unforgivably irresponsible." With an airy wave of her hand, she reminded him, "we're at war, Finn. You know what that means, right? All's fair and all that." It was a flippant answer that had him wanting to punch her. He followed her right upstairs to her room, doing his best not to get violent.

"I don't accept that you get to put the world at risk, Maja," he said. Maja was paying the bellhop. "I don't particularly care, Finn," she retorted. "We're enemies. Right? I want the world. You're in the way. If that means I have to raise a beast, well..." And she walked right into her room, shutting the door in his face. At least she tried. Wedging his foot in the door, he barged in after her as she crossed the room. "Do you know how to _knock_ , Finn," she demanded? "Do you do this at home?" "Do you give a fuck about anything," he retorted?! His face was red, and she could see he was getting very hot under the collar. It was a side of him she hadn't yet seen. She'd wondered. She'd heard about the strange _affliction_ he had and wondered if cyborg-bitch had left him any emotion at all.

"Feisty," she said,

Angry, Finn shoved the witch into the wall, shouting, "you could have killed millions! Don't you fucking care?!" Turned on by the violent edge she saw in him, the witch jumped on him, wrapping her lean, muscular legs around his waist. At the same time, she caught his lower lip with her teeth and bit him hard enough to draw blood. Finn staggered backwards as Maja began to grind her steam pussy against him.

The big man staggered straight back and into the bed, causing him to go over backwards. Maja never let go and never stopped rubbing that beautiful body against his. And shockingly, he was getting a little turned on too. "You made your offer," she whispered. "Hear mine..." Untieing the knot in her sash, the evil woman let her dress fall open to reveal that her body was just as fucking amazing as it felt. She was built like Bonnie–perky, pear-shaped boobies, flat stomach, and broad hips–just now encased in sexy black panties. Reaching down, she grabbed his hands and brought them to those hot little knobs, as she said, "I will be Empress of all I survey, and you will be my warlord, Finn. You will enforce my will and my laws. I'll even let you do it your way. No heavy-handed sanctions if you keep the peace..."

The big man found himself in a peculiar place. Honestly, he couldn't _not_ have a boner. He'd said it before. Maja was a beautiful woman, even if she had a heart made of darkness. He _knew_ she could feel it. Indeed, she said, "is this what you give 'em, big boy? Mmm... That _is_ nice." Sybil teased him, _see! I told you!_ _Shut_ up _,_ he thought! "We need to talk," he started to say. "Are you going to _talk_ all night," demanded Maja? Pressing her boobies into his face, she demanded, "I'm offering pussy. Isn't there something _else_ you should be doing something with that mouth?"

Reaching behind her, the big man popped the catch on her bra, and then he had a face full of her pale-green skin. Catching one of hard little nips with his lips, he began to roll it back and forth between his teeth. Biting her lip, she sighed, "better..." She was grinding her hips against him again, rubbing her pussy against his cock. Pent up anger got turned into something else. He'd heard the term 'angry love' before. Betty had said it once. Theirs had been an _angry_ love, though she'd begun to grow more mellow over time. The big man threw the witch on her back. Grabbing the waist of her panties, he practically tore them off. Fishing out his pecker, he pressed it against her opening and rammed her good.

"Shiiit," she shrieked! Her hands grabbed his shoulders, and he felt those nails dig in. He knew she'd drawn blood. Fuck if they didn't _all_ do that. Still, he kept thrusting, shoving more and more of that pecker into her, while Maja went ape beneath him. Shrieking and thrashing and clawing at his chest and arms, the Sky Witch went crazy every time he gave it to her. Angry love. He was angry enough that he wanted to beat her face in, and he couldn't help wondering if she felt the same. "Motherfucker," she howled! "I was gonna' skin you and that bitch!" "You were going to wreck the world," he shot back! "So who's the bitch!" That made her laugh. At least she was laughing when he jammed it in hard again. Then she was wailing like a banshee.

The big man jerked her arms up over her head, he said, "I want to punch your fucking lights out! Fuck! You're such a cunt!" "Oooh, yeah," she howled! "Fuck that cunt! Don't stop! Do it hard! You're doing it so good now!" The rougher he was, the more she seemed to like it. When he bit her right nip hard enough to hurt, she tried to snap his spine with her thighs. It was like nothing he'd ever had before, and it took all he had to keep from shooting off right away. Still, he couldn't hold out forever. Not with her squeezing him like a vice and egging him on. Biting her lip, the big man shot what felt like every drop of good he had into his hated enemy while that enemy tried to crawl into his skin.

It was a long two minutes before he realized he was laying on top of her–practically crushing her. Not that Maja seemed to mind. "I don't understand why you won't negotiate," he muttered. Her dark eyes burned into his. In calm tones, he said, "I offer you a lot, but you won't talk. You'd rather keep fighting this losing war with the jackass sisters." Maja threw him on his back now. Slowly the evil witch began to ride him. Teasing one of her knobs with the tip of a finger, she snapped her fingers at him. Obediently, he got to grips with her elegant little knockers.

As Finn licked and nipped at her perfect, pointy boobies, the witch moaned, "princesses renege, Finn. You should know that..." His face went hot. Bonnie and Marceline had both reneged on him so many times, he couldn't remember all the ways they'd screwed him over. Coolly, she said, "they're not us, big boy. We've both had to fight to get where we are. I respect that about you. They just had it drop in their laps. Every last one of them... Mmmm... yeah... like that..." The witch locked her hot lips to his and spent a while savoring his kisses. Breaking contact, she frankly told him, "I _use_ those worthless heifers. You don't get to be as old as I am by throwing your _self_ at problems..."

As his hands stroked her broad flanks and squeezed her big, round ass, the witch sighed, "shiiit... Just like that..." Shaking herself, she murmured, "it's business, sweetums. Just business. I'm under no illusions about Berry-Bitch or her best buds. Trust that I know women, sweetums. We make promises, and we hope we won't have to keep them... Only way we do what we said we were going to do is... ooooh... to have the alternative be too painful." He wondered if she had any idea what she was saying about _herself_.

Finn grabbed those gyrating hips and began to bounce her up and down on his fat dong causing the witch to shake like a leaf in a storm. Pressing her face into his chest, she screamed, as she punched him in the ribs repeatedly. Coming down from her orgasm, the evil woman sighed, "mmm... that kind of scratched the itch." Laying against him, she said, "I'm a woman, Finn. I need to be in control. That's a lesson for you, King of Ooo. You may have that pack of horny cougars tamed for now, but they'll eventually start trying to assert themselves..." "And you wouldn't," he asked?

The Sky Witch wrapped her arms about his neck. Pressing her forehead to his, she said, "of course I would, big boy..." Catching his lips with hers, Maja spent a long few minutes making out with him. "I'm honest about who and what I am, Finn," she said. "I'd expect you to be my obedient dog. I'd expect you to jump when I asked it. And I'd absolutely cut your balls off if you cheated on me." She kissed him again and said, "but you'd have your peace, Finn. Think of all the little people. If you don't... Well, you'd be watching me slowly take out your allies. I'm old, sweet boy. Old before you were born. I've got time. All the time I need..." The witch shoved him on his back. Grinding her hips against his, she said, "now... enough talk."

 **This update's going to be a little long. It took a while to get this one right, but I think it will be worth the wait. We're now entering the home stretch. Maja and Finn on a collision course and the Dipped waiting in the wings.**


	40. Chapter 40

Chapter 40:

He was full of fury and looking perilously like he might get to violence, but the fallen attorney had expected that. Calmly–she was always irritatingly calm–Cherry replied, "and what _should_ I have done, Bill?" In icy tones, she reminded him, "my stepson was teetering on the brink of violent madness. He was holding on with just his teeth, and there was no cure in sight. His mother, who just got done being the Lich's sock-puppet for most of a year, already has a history of _severe_ mental illness and impairment coupled with the power to end life on Ooo. What would happen to Simone when her son slipped into madness, Bill?" The young man found himself staring at his own feet.

The older woman murmured, "when we entered into this... _arrangement_ , we all swore that there would be no secrets and no lies. We swore to tell the unvarnished truth–at least to each other. And then this _war_ , happened, Bill. This war threatens to eat up our family and even the world itself. This war tried to eat my friend's son. It's tried to eat another friend's daughter. In the face of that, sometimes we need to hide things because we're all carrying too much right now." Turning back to her papers, she said, "we'll all sit down when this is done, and we'll hash this out like adults. We have to do that for the sake of the kids. Right now, we tell each other what's safe to talk about until we can get through this man-made hell and out the other side." He was dismissed, and he knew it. The young man turned and went out in utter silence, just the opposite of the way he'd come in.

Hundreds of miles away in the desert, the young man's father and the crime-lord's husband stirred from exhausted slumber to find himself in a strange place. It was the sounds of chirping birds that woke Finn out of a deep slumber. He found himself in a position that was typical of his life–with a naked woman curled up against him and him sleeping in the nasty spot. It was still a little crazy. Instead of negotiating or coming to blows, Maja had jumped him last night, and she'd been a fiend for it, like she never got laid. They'd gone six for six and likely would have gone again if she hadn't crashed in the middle of number seven. The whole time they'd been at it, she'd been whispering awful things at him.

It had been her version of sweet-nothings. He was _strong_. She needed his strength. She would have made him true master of the world if he would swear loyalty to her. Her power and his strength would have made an unbeatable combination. She talked of granting him centuries of life–of him being unstoppable and nigh unkillable. And constantly she plied him with hot sex, using that hard, eternally beautiful body on him. On his side, he'd been inoculated, strangely enough. Cherry had made him a changed man–no longer so naive and trusting. Where Maja offered power, he saw treachery. Hadn't she said it herself? The Sky Witch was utterly incapable of loyalty. She would eventually grow bored and murder him.

Slipping out of bed, he pulled on his pants and boots before going outside in the still-cool morning air. It was time he was going. He'd tried. He'd tried to turn her aside from this ugly course she was on. There were so many people who stood to lose in this game. People all across Ooo stood to lose lives and livelihood. Greed had its hands wrapped tight around the Sky Witch's cold heart, and now the big man stood there in the morning sun staring into the wasteland, thinking how much like the desert Maja was. Beautiful and terrifying in its beauty all at once, the desert could lure you in and then slaughter you without a second thought.

Waking moments after her companion of the previous night, the witch found Finn standing at the balcony, staring out at the lands beyond. Much as she'd expected, he hadn't taken advantage. He was a man of principle. She'd tested those principles last night, but not in ways that threatened the fundamentals of what he was. Like most men, he was a creature of habit, constrained by those things he thought were virtues. Strong and unbending against things that challenged those virtues, deep inside, he was weak and helpless against the very things that had caused him to cleave to his principles. A woman could always make a man question his principles–even if it was the very principles that brought him to her feet.

Rising, the evil witch let her eyes feast on the sight of that hard back and tight ass. Yes, it was clear to see why all those bitches were besotted. Padding across the room in her bare feet, with nothing on but the hero's shirt, she quietly slipped out onto the balcony. Coming up alongside him, she ran her fingers up and down the hard muscle of his lower back and asked, "so where do we stand, dear boy? Hmm? We had our... _chat_ last night. How do you want to play this?" Her voice betrayed none of the emotions that seethed within her.

Softly, he said, "you offer me a choice of death of one kind or death of another, Maja. Die in flesh or die in spirit as everything I ever strove for gets corrupted and turned to dust." That sounded... ominous. Frowning in calculation, she replied, "enemies then..." "Or you could turn aside from this course. So far you've been an enabler of this war instead of a participant..." "What," she snapped? "Be one of your bitches...? You were good last night, dearie, but not good enough to trade the whole wide world for..." Reaching out, he cupped that pretty face in one massive hand and said, "goodbye..." In the blink of an eye he was gone. Head whipping back and forth, searching for him, the witch howled, "you're going to _die_ , King of Ooo! I'm going to drive your own sword through your heart!" Storming about as if he was, somehow still there, Maja the Skywitch vented her dark rage in vile threats.

Finn was well past hearing. Taking flight from the hotel, he dashed out into the desert, far away from his nemesis. Once there, he took stock of what he had. From the sun, he could tell he was still far to the south and east of Aysun's kingdom. He wasn't really sure that his wives would have gone there. Honestly, he didn't think it suited Simone's style. Taking a chance, he turned on his phone and dialed up the power as high as he could. Looking around him, he spied a particularly tall dune and raced to the top. And there he settled in to wait.

It took a bit over an hour before he got a weak response. He could hear Simone's voice. "Here, babe," he said. "South of Emerald Kingdom. I'm ok." The big man was forced to cut the conversation short after he got confirmation that they'd heard him. They needed the power to home in on him, and the phone had been at half a charge when he turned it on. Finn waited out the time, baking in the sun as he hadn't done in twenty years or so. A flash of something traveling northwards immediately had him thinking of Maja. If he wasn't mistaken, that was a glint from the War-Elephant's armored skull. She was on the move too. He wasn't sure what she was going to do now. He'd be working with Simone to put measures in place to guard the Fire Bleeder. In any event, he thought it was a little too dangerous right now for somebody to be fooling around in those caverns, and Maja knew it too. They were back on stalemate again. _With her planning to do in my friends and family,_ he thought.

The airship arrived half an hour after Maja had passed him, settling to the ground at the bottom of the dune in a cloud of dust. Anxious to see his peeps, Finn raced to the bottom of the hill, arriving as the ramp was coming down. Simone and Betty were both there waiting on him. Finn grabbed both by the waist, pulling them in for a hug. Mother and daughter gave up all pretense towards stoic indifference in favor of crying on him uncontrollably. "I'm sorry," he sighed. "I'm sorry about this." "I know," sniffed Simone. It was The Ritual. It always went this way when he did something crazy reckless like this. She was angry, but she knew that it wasn't as though he really had a choice. So she pretended to be mad as hell, and he pretended to apologize, and they eventually swept the whole thing under the rug. "Toast and Beeps," he asked? "They ok?"

"Here, Finn," announced Toast. Stepping back from his wives, he moved to Toast's side and threw both his massive arms around her. The little woman did her own share of crying. "You should be proud of her, Finn," said Betty. "If not for her quick thinking, we would have had trouble finding you." Rocking with Toast there on the burning-hot desert sands, Finn said, "so now I have to thank _you_ for saving _my_ butt. I wouldn't be here if not for you." Stepping back, he brushed her cheek with his hand and said, "if you ever want to give up the whole 'princess' thing, you're welcome to run with me and go adventuring." Frowning up at him, she replied, "but you don't go adventuring, Finn. You're king." And without a further word, she turned and headed back up the ramp. Finn's face was burning, but Simone took him by the arm and started up the ramp too, with Betty bringing up the rear.

Inside, they found Breakfast sitting on the edge of one of the seats in the cargo-hold. Her eyes were bleak. "Hey, babes," said Finn. "Mind if I have a moment here..." "Sure," said Betty. With her daughter at her side, the older woman headed forward. She wanted to get out of the filthy clothes she'd been wearing anyway. With the crisis over, they could all use a shower. Finn sat himself, and Breakfast took the seat beside the King and said, "I'm sorry. I..." Finn stopped her, saying, "you need to learn to forgive yourself, Beeps. Nothing can get better by you being in this ugly state forever. You can't help Toaster. You can't help Strudel. You think I haven't fucked up a few times? You need to find the courage within yourself to move on."

The fallen princess flinched at those words, but she knew he was right. It was a lot of the same things Toast had been saying. She'd felt awful all over again when the witch took him. She'd felt as though she'd finally been putting together some kind of life to replace the one she'd thrown away. Then she'd proceeded to watch her life come flying apart again, while she lacked the courage to even fight to save it. Turning to face her, he said, "this is what life is like in my world, Beeps. This is _adult_ life. Not parties until dawn. Not delicious food. Can you handle it?" "I'm trying," she sniffed. Nodding, he gave her hand a squeeze. "That's my lady," he said. Moving on, she asked, "did you learn anything?" "She's afraid," Finn replied.

Breakfast's head whipped around. Finn was staring straight ahead as he said, "I showed her mortality. She almost died the day I killed Darren the Sleeper. If not for the War-Elephant, she'd be a pile of moldy bones in the forest. She'll do anything to win. Anything except risk her own life. She's absolutely terrified of running up against me in a stand-up fight. That's what all of this has been about. She's been trying to whittle back all my friends until I'm alone. That's why she tried to smash Bonnie's Kingdom first. That's why she's had people trying to kill my family and she's got those Wildberry clones running around raising hell. It's all a scheme to render me helpless and alone. Then she'll be free to strike. And when I'm gone, the world is hers."

It was a shocking idea–monstrous and evil enough for an ancient fiend like Maja. Slipping her arms around his, Breakfast lay her head on his shoulder and cried. "I'm gonna' be ok, Beeps," he told her. "I know what her plan is now. She's not going to win." Which was easy for him to say. Turning to face her, Finn brushed Breakfast's long, pale hair from her face, and she tried on a smile for him. Leaning in, he gave her a heated kiss. "Token for later, ok," he said? Sniffing and giggling, the pretty princess nodded. Climbing to his feet once more, Finn said, "I think this thing has a shower. I'm'a go get washed. I stink."

Back at home, Billy the Human walked into the palace garden to find Abeiuwa there talking to Breezy. His mind went to the Bee-Person's magic song, and he would have begged the Queen Bee to help the Jungle Princess. Unfortunately one of his mothers' earliest lessons was about meddling. He couldn't stick his nose in her life that much. He _could_ tell her what he'd learned about Oreva. Squaring up, he stepped into view, immediately causing both women to clam up. That was ominous, and his suspicions were helped not at all by the blush on Breezy's face. Indeed the Queen Bee made haste to be out of there, leaving him alone with the fallen Royal.

"You're back," rumbled Abeiuwa. Billy flushed. She hardly looked happy to see him. It was almost like they were back to the uncomfortable atmosphere that had held sway in Jungle Kingdom. Still he needed to tell her what he knew. "Oreva's alive," said Billy. "I... fought him in Turtle Kingdom. Wildberry's controlling him..." Abieuwa's eyes betrayed nothing of what she was thinking. Instead, she calmly thanked Billy for coming in person to tell her. "I-I just want to say that I'm'a keep trying," Billy stammered. Catching his face with her hands, the fallen princess replied, "this is a product of _my_ greed, William. To my eternal shame, I've brought down my own house and troubled yours. Now if you will excuse me, I have need to be alone." With no better idea of what to do, Billy went.

Depressed beyond measure, Billy wandered back to his quarters–the space he'd been sharing with Ragnhild when he was actually in the capitol. He wanted badly to see his lady and his boys, get his head on straight, and try to figure out where they were going from here because honestly he was struggling just now. He was newly recommitted to the fight, but he wasn't sure how to win anymore. He felt like a failure when Wildberry still had her grip on the man he'd tried to call friend.

Striding into his place, the big man called out, "babe, I'm home!" He halfway expected little Anders to come zipping across the room to jump on his leg. Instead, he got _nothing_. Indeed, as he scanned the room, there was no sign of his family at all. For a moment he panicked, wondering if Ragnhild had left him. But Anders' toys were all still there. She'd gone out, likely for business and likely because she wasn't expecting him back quite so soon. Which of course wasn't doing anything for his state of mind.

Before he could half ponder that, a strangely familiar scent caught his attention. The big man found himself turning, and his eyes caught at what he saw. Noemi. Standing there in his quarters with barely panties and stockings on her lush frame. "Well, hello," she murmured in her sultry voice. That scent touched him as she whispered those words, and he found himself falling. Noemi smiled as she watched the beautiful young man come under her sway. Just as she'd hoped, he had become _hers_.

Hips swaying sensually, she strode towards him, and immediately he seized her, pulling her roughly into his arms. His powerful arms closed about her waist, and his hands grabbed a double-handful of her magnificent ass. The sensual feel of those silk panties excited him as he stole a kiss from her. Savoring the sweet taste of the beautiful princess, he practically crushed her body against his. Now, his rough fingers began to claw at her tender flesh hard enough to leave a mark as he squeezed her round bottom, even as he kissed his way down her cheek. She could feel his hard pecker against her, accentuating his hunger. He was _big_. As he kissed his way across her chest and throat, one big mitt continued to squeeze and caress her ass while the other stroked her plump boobies, toying with them and sending shivers up her spine. Nipping playfully at her left knocker, he finally captured the pale purple tip and sucked hard enough on it that she squealed.

Billy was lost in a fog, thoughts of his wife and kids forgotten, as he caressed Ragnhild's sometimes-friend and ally. He only understood the hunger. He wanted this woman more than he'd wanted anything in his life. She was like a drug. Scooping her up, the big man rushed for the couch. When he'd laid her down, he immediately went back to work, all but tearing those sexy blue drawers off her before diving in for a taste of her grape juice. The Purple Princess grabbed a handful of his hair, her broad hips jumping as she felt him start to go down on her. Knowing that there were always prying ears in a place like this, the pretty princess bit her lip, trying to avoid crying out as he expertly brought her off again and again. Hips wriggling all over the place, Noemi savored the feel of Ragnhild's sweet young hubby pleasuring her so completely.

After a good ten minutes of feeling that, the princess was more than ready to move on. Pulling on his shoulders and hair, she got him to climb up over her, where she wrapped her sleek legs around his waist. Billy understood instinctively what she wanted. Lost in the haze of sexual hunger, the big man fumbled with his belt and then with his shorts as he fought to get his pecker out. Noemi was dry-humping him, rubbing that beautiful body against his. When his tip touched her opening, she grabbed his ass and began pulling on him. Both of them moaned softly as the fat dong slowly eased inside the Purple Princess. Slowly, bit by bit, Billy fed his thickness into her hot gash.

Now the twisted princess really began to tug on his butt, pulling at him. She wanted more. Billy began to bang the beautiful princess, losing himself in the feel of her hot body. His hands continued to stroke and caress her soft skin, and he would stop and savor the taste of her hot lips before continuing to fuck her. It was everything Noemi had expected, and soon she could no longer stifle the cries as the beautiful young man gave her all she could have wanted. Indeed, she found herself clawing at his back until she realized that Ragnhild would see those wounds. Burying her face against his chest, she wailed in climax as she went over the edge. Moments later, Billy followed her, setting her off again as she realized that she'd just fucked her ally's husband. And then he was at her again.

Meanwhile, far to the east, the Sky Witch landed in Wildberry Kingdom with a sore pussy and no monster as the sun was setting in fiery glory beyond the horizon. She was in a foul mood, and she came storming through the halls of the palace like a fiend from beyond. She wasn't really sure what irked her more: failing to secure the Fire Bleeder, Orzsebet's incompetence, or Finn turning her down. She'd never had a man turn her down before this. She'd never had a man stupid enough to dare it. Finn had walked out on her and gotten away with it, and she found herself wanting to pluck his eyes from his head. And she wanted to skin Orzsebet alive and wear her for a fucking coat. The bitch. She'd completely fucked up the plan, letting that nasty little stowaway get on the elephant with them. That had led to having the Ice Queen in the witch's camp. And that led to her losing the Fire Bleeder and Finn both.

"Ok," said Wildberry. "How shitty did it go?" Maja spun around to find Berry-Bitch in the hall behind her. Arms behind her back, the sour berry rocked back and forth on her heels, looking like she was having a grand old time. Maja was tempted to tear her innards out. Instead, she growled, "have a care, dearie." "You must have fell flat on your face," teased the berry-woman. Maja glared at her, and her eyes began to glow. Chuckling, Wildberry Princess said, "you'd blast me? When I went and did _this_ for you?" As she spoke, she held out the book she'd stolen. As Maja stared at it, the bad berry explained, "I figured we ought to hedge our bets. Maudie is about as useless as useless gets. So I got that."

The witch continued to stare at that book, and Wildberry thought she was working her way down through the ramifications. "Do they know you have this," asked Maja? "Yeah," said Wildberry. "We'd have to act fast." "Get your pet," said Maja. "And a handful of your guards. We're going for a ride." They did have to act fast. It was a certainty that the fucking Ice Queen would go back to Wizard City and go diving into the libraries there to find the location. It was only a matter of time before troublemakers would be on their way.

Meanwhile, their nemesis walked into the council chambers to find fourteen long faces waiting on him. Striding to the center of the room, looking resplendent in a beautiful hand-tailored suit, the King of Ooo began without preamble. "I apologize," he said. "I jeopardized our family and our people. I was trying to negotiate a settlement that didn't see more people dead..." Cherry waved that away, saying, "we are at war. War brings risk. We were given to understand you spoke with our adversary..." It was clear from the tone of her voice that he'd be making this up to them for a long while. In the now, he cut his losses.

Moving to the head of the table, Finn announced, "she trusts me... so far... She trusts that if I cut a deal, I'd stick to it..." Which to Ragnhild sounded hopeful. Looking Bonnie square in the eye, the King of Ooo said, "she doesn't trust you. Any of you. She believes I'll be forced against my will to renege on a deal. So... she will not negotiate with any government of which you are a part." Nadia muttered curses. Her people didn't want war. This was dragging them in against their will. Things had been fine when they were merely building defenses. The Sky Witch's recalcitrance would keep the war going if they didn't get Maja shut down. That would take offensive action. She would almost have preferred Finn seducing that evil old bitch to the bloodshed they were faced with.

Coolly, Cherry said, "we must commit to a course of action, Your Majesty. We must commit and stay the course." Those words were meant as much for the squishies in his circle as the man himself, and Finn knew it. Calmly, Finn said, "then the course is war. We can't have stalemate. Maja and her remaining allies have to go." Nobody argued. Bonnie, who often fancied herself a philosopher-statesman merely nodded. Any hope of bringing Wildberry back into the fold was dead. Honestly, with the growing numbers of her victims, it had become a fantasy.

The issue decided, the big man said, "need the cabinet together. Need somebody on the train to see Phoebes. Whatever she's got going on, this is the time to get with the program." Turning to Lollipop, the big man asked, "where's Bill?" Frowning, Lollipop said, "I left him a voice mail. He should be here." Moving on, Finn declared, "Noemi and Abeiuwa will have to pitch in. If Oreva's really following Wildberry around, it shouldn't take much to retake Jungle Kingdom and get her dudes movin' against Yolanda. That secures our flank. Then all we have to deal with is Maudie, Wildberry, and Bathilde."

It was an audacious strategy–all the more so since they had so few troops to work with. Ingrid immediately opened her mouth to speak, but Finn shut it for her. "I need the Acting War Minister to draft a plan to take out whoever Oreva left in charge using a strike team of Bee-Guards. Work with Princess Cherry on the problem." The warrior woman flushed, and Ragnhild just _knew_ she was going to suggest the War Machine. Far from being easily manipulated by his wives as Maja thought, Finn had clearly been thinking about where to go now. It made her more comfortable with her decision to put the remnant of her army in the field. If only she could manage the rest of her problems. Like the rest, she was keeping awful secrets from her husband.

Trouble was there would be no hiding things when Abeiuwa's tummy started to show. They'd be in it, then. Making matters worse, Drew was terrified about what all the drugs and toxins that had been flowing through Abeiuwa's bloodstream might have done. They would be dealing with a child who might be _damaged_. _Glob,_ she prayed, _let us get through this._ Then she could tell him. In the right now, there was other business in the offing.

When Finn had laid out his strategy, Cherry announced, "got one wrinkle, honey." The big man turned to the diminutive crime lord and said, "lay it on me..." With a heavy sigh, Bonnie declared, "Wildberry's got a line on the other monster. Bill and Patrick tried to stop her, but she got away with an ancient tome detailing its whereabouts." Which was catastrophically bad news. It was a certainty they would be on their way to the monster before Simone could find it in the library. Still, Finn was game. "Then I'll just have to take out Maja myself," he said. He'd done it before. " _We_ , father," said Boniface. " _We_ will take out Maja. The King will be King." Toast gave him a sweet smile, reminding him of their conversation in the desert.

Hundreds of miles to the north, across the wastelands and the Froyo Kingdom, things weren't going quite so well for the new overlord of the Fire Kingdom. The Great Dictator sat on his throne glaring down at his terrified subordinate. Still, the punishment for lieing and hiding things hadn't been rescinded since Phoebe was deposed. If anything, it had been made harsher. Banishment was no longer the order of the day. Death was. "There are eighteen prisoners missing, sire," said the hapless soldier, "all first-rank political prisoners." It was perplexing–and very dangerous–news.

Rising–the messenger quavered in fear at that–the Dictator began to pace. Up and down, back and forth, paced the angry general. Flint had planned this down to the last detail. He had Phoebe locked up. He'd planned for her to be out of the country, tending to her bastard, but in any event, by a stroke of luck, she'd rendered herself incapable of contesting him for the throne. She was imprisoned with no way to escape and two-hundred guards gathered around her. She had the power to do in the guards. Phoebe could do it handily without exerting herself, and had been able to do it since she was twelve. Except that she'd be doing in her mongrel child in the process. Certainly she wouldn't be reconfining herself in that cell every night. The puzzle was vexing him, and he hardly had the time. The hour of their attack on the flesh-creatures was drawing nigh. Their nearest neighbor had even obliged him by moving her troops further south to take part in the war the Dipped were instigating. So the question remained. Who was releasing his worst enemies? And why?

"Bring the former King here," said the Dictator. He had no earthly idea just who was rebelling against him. Randy was a distant possibility, but he lacked the power. In the end, though, one thing was certain. His opponent would need the veneer of legitimacy. The only place such legitimacy could flow from was his various relations. "Bring Torcho and Furnius here too," he said. He would personally see that none of the three were able to support a rebellion against him. The messenger rushed out to see to those orders, anxious to put distance between himself and certain death. Meanwhile the dictator continued to pace, back and forth, worrying at a problem that he hadn't anticipated.

Leaving the mote of fire from which she observed him, Shoko returned to her future-husband, finding him carving love-notes in the basaltic stone of their lair. That was sweet, and it made her giggle. Glancing up to find his lady coming towards him, Randy put aside the piece of stone in favor of gathering up clothing. She was new at this. Much like a newborn, she lacked the skill to conjure garments out of the elements around her. That had led to an embarrassing incident with one of the men she'd rescued from Flint's execution-pits. Now, when she went off on one of these jaunts, he made certain to have clothing waiting for her, especially if she had to make an appearance before their impromptu council of allies.

As Shoko approached, he wrapped her in a heavy asbestos robe. Turning those stunning neon-blue eyes on him, the beautiful princess kissed his burning lips, finding no fear in it now. Turning away, she said, "he's aware of us. He's having Phoebe and your other cousins brought to his lair for safe-keeping." Which would make it much harder to launch their counter-revolution against him. It was bad news. At the same time, it wasn't nearly as bad as they'd feared. Phoebe was apparently still alive. How long she stayed that way was another question, though. They might have to move sooner than Randy liked. "We're running out of time either way," sighed Shoko. "I listened in to his earlier strategy meeting. Ragnhild's moved her troops away from the border. He's taking it as a sign that now's a good time to strike." More bad news. Still, they were together, and that counted for something.

Moving on, the elemental said, "I have a battalion of like-minded souls ready to fight. Most of them come from the dead-lands, so they won't be missed right away." They were gambling that nobody would stop by looking to steal Ooo's planet-smashing inhabitant while the guard over it was relaxed. Still, those were Phoebe's most loyal troops and the only ones Flint was unlikely to miss short-term. It was time to get into the meat of things and discuss the plan with their allies.

When Shoko was presentable, Randy led the way outside to where several of their allies were waiting. Every face there was watching closely as the pair approached. They feared the foreign princess, who'd somehow managed to make herself one of them. Having seen the way she'd butchered the guards who'd held them, the would-be counter-revolutionaries were terrified of Shoko's wrath. At the same time, Randy knew that many of them were somewhat less than committed to this. Several would have hidden themselves on the fringes of the kingdom. Others would have chosen exile–for all the good it would do them when Flint planned to burn the world. That said nothing of his awful allies. Shoko knew better than to trust the Lich's creations. The Dipped might be Flint's allies _now_ , but the young princess was sure that, like the burger special at the Squeezy Mart, the alliance was 'for a limited time only'.

"Alright everyone," announced Shoko. "Flint is planning to make his move. Froyo Kingdom is vulnerable. The Froyo Guard is moving south to do battle with Wildberry Kingdom and its ruler. That means Flint sees his way clear." The Froyo Guard, with their ice-guns, had always held the Fire Kingdom at bay. There were few things that terrified fire-elementals more than the water that burned. If the Frozen Yogurt people were leaving their bastions to fight elsewhere, the weapons could be destroyed without retaliation. Flint would have his war with no-one to stop him.

The young princess told her allies all about Flint's plan to move their former King to his throne room. She told them nothing at all about Flint knowing that they were 'missing'. That would have spooked them. Most believed that, if Flint didn't know now, he never would. It was cowardice. If Flint didn't come looking, they were safe–at least in their minds. She needed them moving and thinking. She would spring the bad news on them when they had no further choices. Instead, she laid out exactly what she expected of them and exactly what each one was going to contribute to laying Flint low and retaking the kingdom, giving them little choice in the matter. Then she dismissed the pack to their rooms.

Randy's hand-picked guards were watching them all–preventing the usual dose of treachery you got from the unreliable. Now Randy led his lady upstairs to the little chamber they spent their minuscule free time in. Honestly, he'd wanted to flee too. The shock of having his beloved Shoko back had stunned him to his core, and he'd wanted to flee to the Candy Kingdom to have whatever safety they could find there. Shoko had deflected him from that. Flint was here, and this was her home now too. He gave them no more than a fifty-fifty chance of victory, but they were here together, and that was what counted for him. His beautiful princess moved to occupy his lap the minute he sat down. Pressing her face against the crook of his neck, she wept burning tears, crying in her fear and pain, while Randy held her and whispered soothing words in her ear.

Back in the Candy Kingdom, Noemi kissed her sleeping boy-toy as she knelt beside the couch. He'd been an animal, going at it for more than two hours while she did her best to hold on. She'd be a little sore after this, but it had been undeniably fun. Best part was that, for some reason, he'd been completely blank for much of it. She'd been a little afraid he would freak out when she came onto him. _Probably a side-effect of the fucking spores that were in his sinuses,_ she thought. Wildberry's toxins were a bit of a boon for her, though. She'd never had a man go so completely under her spell before. It was a temptation to try taking him away from yogurt-girl. Truthfully, she hungered to do it again. _Won't be an option if you don't get out of here,_ she realized. Rising, she strode towards the door, having gotten him dressed again before putting a blanket over him. Checking for people in the hall, she slipped out, bound for her own quarters.

Not long after, Ragnhild returned with her two sons in tow. She'd not seen hide nor hair of Billy all day, and she was anxious to make sure he was alright. She'd run into Abeiuwa, finding her mood had improved not at all. It was a completely understandable state of affairs, all things considered. Still, it did little to help them out of their unpleasant situation, and Ragnhild had been forced to remind her of that. They were going to have to tell Billy the truth eventually. In the now, she let herself into her quarters to find her husband asleep on the couch.

"Papa," squealed Anders! When Ragnhild let him down, he went tearing across the room, much as he always did. He threw himself on Billy, who came to groggy life at the feel of the little boy jumping on his chest. The little guy hugged Billy, as he sat up. "Hey, babe," Billy yawned. "I... I was gonna' come find you... I guess I fell asleep." Smiling at her man, Ragnhild said, "never mind that. We've got a lot to talk through, honey. Why don't you go have a shower? Then you can play with the boys while we chat, ok?" "Sure, hon," he said.

 **A little bit of service as we close in on the end of the tale...**


	41. Chapter 41

Chapter 41:

The winged figures came whistling out of the darkness over Jungle Kingdom, gliding down in silence to reach the palace. The air was still with the only sounds to be heard being the endless pounding of the kingdom's nuclear-driven hammers as they pounded raw iron into weapons. The business had been on autopilot since the consort had deposed the princess and then fled north. With no further orders to the contrary, the men of the foundries had continued to forge weapons to satisfy the possible demands of customers who might never show up. The folk of the Kingdom were in a bit of turmoil, unsure just what to do now. Princess Abeiuwa had been a just if greedy ruler. The Kingdom had prospered under her rule, banishing hunger and deprivation and even keeping the beasts of the jungles at bay.

Oreva had done little or nothing to change the status quo. The Kingdom still ran, but mostly it ran like the automated machines that managed the stocks of deadly nuclear material. Just now, Oreva's hastily appointed Regent, Kyuka, found himself looking at the stockpile of iron and wondering what to go now. They were running low on iron again. They had the choice of mounting an expedition to retrieve more from the wastes, or they could simply shut down the forges. Trouble was that the army had been a little idle and slack the last few weeks. When Oreva had gone, he left them leaderless. Attacks by beasts had risen, and the people were restless. They wanted things back the way they were when the monsters of the wastes were kept at bay. Sending troops on a fool's errand to retrieve iron to make into useless implements of war threatened to send them into revolt.

"The ore bins are almost empty, my friend," said Councilor Omuya. "You must make a decision soon. The hammers will fall silent if you don't. If Oreva returns and finds the forges idle..." "If Oreva returns," muttered Yahkobah. "He has been gone weeks, and rumors of his health don't bode well." Yahkobah had been happy enough under Oreva's rule, but he wasn't particular about just _who_ commanded the Kingdom. He only cared about keeping his place in a hierarchy that guaranteed his family's safety from the beasts. He'd been quietly making noises about selecting a new prince or princess from the late Princess Abeiuwa's family. They needed a leader–someone who would be running the Kingdom instead of kneeling at Princess Wildberry's feet.

As the men of the council debated things, the first of the bees landed on the terrace right in the face of a startled guard. As the guard tried to level his assegai, the bee jabbed him in the middle with her envenomed stinger, injecting a lethal dose in an eye-blink. Two more bees landed on the roof and began firing blowguns at the other guards. The shocked and startled regent called for help, but the bees quickly filled the room, hitting the few guards hard and fast, killing them all before blocking the doors. The regent's councilors could only stare impotently as a bee-person landed the Warrior Princess in their midst. Scanning the scene, she took in the pack of sycophants with a grimace of distaste. Time was, she would have just killed the lot out of hand. They were worthless. "Who is in command," she demanded?

Striding forward, an outraged Kyuka snarled, "I am! I am empowered by Lord Oreva himself!" Ingrid the Warrior Princess took the envenomed spear from the nearest Bee-Guard and ran it straight through the Regent's chest. As he slid to the ground, Ingrid announced, Abeiuwa sends her greetings, Kyuka. For taking a hand in Oreva's treason, you are removed." Yahkobah snarled, "see here, woman! You haven't the right..." One of the bees looked as though he might send the impertinent official to the afterlife to join the Regent. Ingrid signaled him to stay his hand. Flipping open her phone, she pressed the button for hologram mode, causing Abeiuwa's image to spring to life. "Princess Ingrid acts in my name," rumbled the beautiful princess, her countenance hard in the harsh lighting cast by Princess Bonnibel's hologram room.

Several of the Council threw themselves to their bellies in obedience. The defiant shouted curses at her. "Oreva is declared outlaw for his treason," rumbled Abeiuwa. "And who are you to say that," growled Okunola? When Ingrid would have smote him down, Abeiuwa commanded her to stop. "I have power of life and death over you right this moment, Okunola," said the princess. "You did nothing to stop the strangers from deposing your rightful ruler. You joined with my former husband in treason. However, I am prepared to be generous. Martell? Bring them." The bees began to round up the hapless councilors, forcing them into carry-harnesses. When one man resisted, the Bee-Guard drove his venomous stinger into the man's heart, exploding it on the spot and killing him stone dead. The rest went quietly. Closing her phone, Ingrid waited patiently to be harnessed up for the short flight to Nadia's orbiting airship.

Morning saw Finn the King watching from the shadows as Abeiuwa held court with her cabinet in a borrowed room. They were rather an unhappy lot. Having been snatched up in the night and hauled to the Candy Kingdom against their wills, they were _very_ cranky. Abeiuwa had made an example of one by violently thrashing him already. So far things were under control. Step 1 of the plan was in effect. He hoped to have the stockpile of spear-weapons in Jungle Kingdom in hand within days. That would let them smack down Yolanda and turn their attention eastward.

The King turned and left his hiding place. He had a cabinet meeting of his own to attend. He wanted to get his allies focused on the next move. Maja was likely digging up the Bear. They would be facing terrible odds, so there was no time for delay. Exiting the balcony, he glanced down the hall to find his son standing there at the other entry. Bill gave him a sheepish look as he approached. "I... I just wanted to make sure she was ok," he said. Finn nodded. The younger man felt a sense of responsibility for not having prevented Abeiuwa being dispossessed of her kingdom, and Finn got that, though a part of him did wonder if the younger man _felt_ anything for the princess.

It was one of those esoteric questions that sometimes popped into the patriarch's head. _He_ knew the truth about what was going on with JP, but Billy was still being kept in the dark. Finn _had to know_ , and he was a little irritated with the girls for not telling him sooner. Still, he wondered if Billy felt the connection. There had been times when he thought he could feel it with Simone or Emeraude. Looking back, he'd been sure he felt _nothing_ with Bonnie and Marcy, so there was that. In the now, it didn't bear commenting on. Things were already complicated without bringing a baby into the equation. "Let's get to the meeting," he said.

His people were all gathered when the pair walked into the room. Breezy was sitting beside Breakfast at the end of the table when he came in, and the two were whispering and giggling. Seeing him, the Queen Bee flushed to her crown. That bore watching. Breezy was reasonably happy, and Finn didn't want Breakfast stirring her into something stupid. Moving to his seat, Finn opened the meeting with, "Abeiuwa's given us the weapons. I should have official permission by close of the day. Where do we stand with the army?" He was all business. Things were moving, and there was no more time for games.

Ingrid immediately replied, "I stand ready with thirty wizards acting in support and eight-thousand troops." Bonnie grimaced in distaste about that last. Star had finally pried out of Fionna just why it was that Steele and his boys were so much more effective now than they had been. Shortly afterwards, volunteers got sought and suitably _modified_. Bonnie wasn't happy with the change to _her_ peeps. Cherry, ironically, resolved the matter by pointing out that all children had to grow up. The question was did Bonnie want it to be tragically or in a controlled fashion where they wouldn't be traumatized? She'd been speaking as the voice of experience, and everyone knew it. They'd gotten eight-thousand new soldiers. Now all they needed was arms to equip them.

Turning to Bill, Finn asked, "you ready to take them into action." Nodding, Billy replied, "whenever you're ready for me to go, dad." "Expect action within the week," said Finn. A glance at Ragnhild showed her standing up like a trooper. He didn't like doing this to her, but it needed to be done. They would all get more time as a family when this stupid war was done. "Nadia," said Finn, "I need Piotr and the guys moving. I want those weapons loaded up and ready before someone can change the Jungle-Peoples' minds." Nadia promised that she would have her uncle move as soon as she got out of the meeting.

The coalition spent the better part of two hours discussing additional moves and steps they could take. Cherry had put the screws to Orzsebet, pressuring the princess regarding the agents she had and the information she'd accumulated in Wildberry Kingdom. The pressure had paid off, netting them the names of the pair of spies working in Bonnie's palace. One had gotten liquidated with prejudice. The other was being _handled_ with the idea of using him to spread disinformation. The crime-boss had a trove of information about Muscle Kingdom to report as well. Morale there was in utter collapse, with the people hungry, imports of food all but shut down, and martial law in effect. It was another sign suggesting that a move against Yolanda could bear fruit.

As Ingrid took in the discussion, the Voice opined, _you're not doing very well._ The Angel said nothing to that. She'd tried her best, but the competition was too stiff and Finn much too old to be easily manipulated. She still had her ghouls. She had a thousand of them now, and she had been considering when and how to deploy them. _Never you mind, my pretty Angel,_ the Voice told her. _You keep him occupied with honey. I have an alternate plan in play._ Ingrid frowned. She'd known of no alternate plan, and she didn't see one that would accomplish the Goal. Not when Finn was so stubborn. _You are not my only princess,_ said the voice. _I have another, and she's far more ruthless and capable than you are._

Ingrid shivered at those words, and she found Sarah staring at her. "Cold," asked the android? Ingrid's little-green-dress had been the talk of the family for several days when she'd first worn it. It was sexy. Even Bonnie could admit that. At the same time, like most women's wear, it was more designed for seduction than practical use. All of them had their occasional issues with the temperature in Bonnie's palace. "I'm fine," murmured Ingrid. Sarah let it go. The tough girl apparently would rather lie about being cold than admit the truth to a rival.

The Voice continued to prick at the warrior woman as the meeting wore on, suggesting things she ought to do. They were all innocent ideas. And all were uniformly treacherous. None would have been immediately discovered. Much like the ghouls, they were deadly traps waiting to snap closed on the unwary. Ingrid did her best to ignore those ideas, even when she actually found herself opening her mouth to put one of them in play. Converting that into a yawn, she stretched artfully, giving Finn a toothy smile. _They'll discover me,_ she insisted. _With what I got waiting, it won't matter,_ said the Voice. Her nemesis was tickled by something. Which meant something ugly was in the offing.

The meeting wrapped up with the family and its allies gathering themselves to their feet. Noemi, who'd been quiet through much of the discussions, was quick to intercept Billy, who was pulling on his swordbelt once more, having shed it to be comfortable. Sarah watched the wench with a frown, sifting the air with her sensitive nose. What she discovered there made her angry. As she watched, Billy began to stutter in mid-conversation with Ragnhild and Nadia, sounding more like a love-struck dufus than anything. The android-girl didn't need the bitch's sneaky little smile to know what she'd done. As Billy left the room in company with Cherry, Sarah got in the nasty slut's face. "I know what you're doing," she growled. Noemi put on an innocent face, feigning confusion. "Trust that I can make you very unhappy if you press this," said Sarah. "Think about it." Without a further word, she turned and walked out.

Finn found himself alone with Breezy. The Queen Bee came up to the head of the table and sat herself there before him. She was wearing a natty deep-indigo number that hugged tight to her body. The bodice was tied up around her neck, allowing her wings to be free. The dress matched her short, stiff hair, which she'd pomaded and slicked back. "Hey, babe," said Finn. His voice was the usual calm, bland tone, belying the turmoil he felt as his mind went to the conversation she'd been having with Beeps. Breezy had a thing for him. And, if he admitted it to himself, he now had a thing for her.

Teasing his forearm–the disguised Grass-Sword–with the tip of a finger, Breezy asked, "is there anything to do at the King's court?" Finn chuckled. That was funny for some reason. "Right now," he asked? "Fighting evil witches." "Boring," she sniffed. "It sounds like work." "Ch'yeah, man," Finn laughed. With a sly smile, the bee-person asked, "did you really do it?" "What," he asked? "Bang Maja," she replied. His face went red hot. Of course he'd told the girls. He'd told them all about that night, sparing nothing. He'd then promptly begged Cherry for forgiveness. She'd simply told him that he would be making that up to her and moved the conversation onward.

Face gone hot, Finn said, "it beat flattening the hotel fighting her. I... I don't want to talk about that night, B. I'm not proud of it." "What _do_ you want to talk about, then," she asked? _Yeah,_ he thought. _Beeps stirred some shit up._ He had to head this off at the pass. In sorrowful tones, he told her, "I gotta' get back to Abeiuwa's meeting, B. I gotta' make sure she stays on topic. We've got an opening at shutting Yolanda down, and I don't want to miss it. We'll talk later, ok?" And he rose and got out of there like his pants were on fire.

The prickly princess was as good as her word. As the morning turned to afternoon, Abeiuwa was on her way home on one of Nadia's airships with Billy at her side and Ragnhild representing Finn's interests. The cabinet moved on, with Finn calling up Fionna to look into progress in the north. He found he had little need for worry. Fi had all but _raced_ southeast. She was days out from the Grey Forest and spoiling for another round against Blargetha's tanks. That news had Finn very worried, and he wasn't alone. His daughter was gifted, but not invulnerable. At an afternoon meeting, the big man discussed the problem and the girls were nearly united in their opposition to Fionna undertaking a fight versus the war-machines. Ingrid was conspicuous by her dissent, suggesting Fi could handle it just fine.

Steepling her hands before her, Cherry announced, "Blargetha's withdrawn most of the force near Candy-Town. She's left just enough to deter us weakening the barrier. That means Fi is facing the bulk of Blargetha's machines. That's an unreasonable answer, Ingrid." "Fi needs an edge to counter those tanks," Sarah agreed. Several faces turned to Nadia, who ruled the only other industrialized kingdom. Finn headed that off before it got too far. "The key to maintaining peace between the cyborg race and the Lady of the Wastes is that the Grid-Face People never turn their tech into weapons. Out of the question. Next."

Nadia sighed her relief. It wasn't all fear of Talia that kept their weapon-building in check. There were some very real cultural biases against it. The Grid-Face People were descendants of one of the cultures that brought on the Mushroom War. If Talia was to be believed, they were almost the principal race behind the disaster. Their shame had metastasised into a devout pacifism.

With a heavy sigh, Simone admitted, "the only source of firepower to match Blargetha's is a troop of wizards, but I've already sent you all my volunteers..." And she, Patrick, and Betty were in reserve against the risk of Maja deploying the Bear. They didn't have any wizards left to support the northern wing of the army. Calmly, Finn said, "there's a city full of wizards near Blargetha's troops. Sarah? I need you to get the flying saucer ready. I need to go to the Grey Forest." The room erupted, with several of the ladies arguing against dragging the wood nymphs in. They were eroding Emeraude's neutrality, and even Cherry could see that. Coolly, Finn said, "they tried to burn the Grey Forest to the ground. Wildberry hates E and wants her dead, so how much neutrality is there really left there?" Rising, he signaled Sarah to come along, ending the meeting by simply walking out of it. Breakfast shot to her feet, saying, "my turn to watch him..." And she headed out too. Rolling her eyes, Drew also rose, saying, "I'll make sure he doesn't do something stupid."

In under an hour, Bonnibel's flying saucer was wafting its way across the sky on a cloud of strange subatomic particles with Sarah at the controls. The android's mind was on Noemi's antics and the risks of what she was doing. The coalition was hanging together better now. Finn was holding the whole fractious mess of them together by sheer force of personality and will. And Noemi was threatening the business by trying to induce Bill to cheat. Sarah wanted to belt her. The sad fact of things was that they needed to get this business wrapped up, get the Froyo-Guard home, and sort through the mess before anything else went south.

Beside her in the copilot's seat, Finn sat snoozing. He was back to burning the candle at both ends, and that bothered her. Drew had been militating for an outright ban to all the sex-hijinks simply because it was eating at the little bit of reserve Finn had left. That didn't even get into all the wear and tear from the Quicksilver Curse. Sarah only had to glance at him to see the strange energy-field flowing through her hubby, twisting the world around him. Could they make it to the other side of this madness? Could they keep him going long enough for Simone to find a cure? Her logic units offered up a resounding 'no' on that prospect. The equation came up with Finn coming a cropper before they could get Maja put down. In an increasingly absurd pattern, the strange, open-ended algorithm that governed her emotions shouted the logic down, insisting that they could do it–that faith could defy the odds. As always, she found no answer in logic. So she squashed her fears and moved on.

The flight took a little over two hours at low altitude. As Finn roused himself from his slumber, Sarah initiated the landing cycle. The denizens of the Grey Forest had been rather busy in intervening weeks. The uneven and debris-strewn patch of empty ground had been cleared of undergrowth, the stumps removed, and the ground flattened to provide a safe and secure landing site for Grid-person airships. Sarah easily got the ship settled into a berth by the edge of the runway. Yawning and stretching, Finn climbed out of his seat. Leaning over, he kissed his girl's cheek and then headed for the exit. Sarah sat a few minutes reflecting on that, discovering a compromise between logic and emotion. Finn loved her. _Faith_ didn't have to be his only shield. She had many skills and a body that would never falter, and she would sacrifice her tomorrows to have her husband live today. Climbing out of her chair, she rushed to follow her man to the exit.

Fionna was their sole welcome committee when they stepped off the ramp. It was a telling sign of how Emeraude was playing this. Finn fought down his irritation. She had responsibilities here. They were no longer simply husband and wife, and he knew it. He'd said it several times himself, insisting on respecting the rules and laws of this place. If that wasn't enough, he knew there was a weight of conscience there that couldn't be denied. Shouldering his bag, Finn stepped off, saying, "let's head in." Seeming to sense the tension, Fionna took that without comment, instead falling in at her father's side.

As they entered the forest, the bad bunny declared, "got my dudes ready... We're camped out west of the forest..." "Your mission is on hold," said Finn. "It's _premature_ to attack heavily-armed troops without supporting firepower. I can't afford the losses at this time, so I'm issuing a command to temporarily halt the offensive." "As you wish, Your Majesty," Fionna replied. They were at the truck Fionna had brought. As Finn got behind the wheel, Breakfast turned to her fellows and asked, "ok, was anyone else weirded out by that exchange..." Drew grimaced. She had been horrified when Betty pointed out the negativity directed at 'New Finn' and even more horrified by his efforts to please others at his own expense. It was an especially ugly feeling to recognize she was guilty too. "Stick a sock in it," muttered the doctor as she moved to put her bag in the back of the truck.

Finn drove them to the Matriarch's home, taking the twists and turns through the forest as one who knew them. While he drove, he and Fionna talked strategy. Sitting in the back, it became clear that Finn wasn't the only one playing for dumb. Lost in their very serious conversation, the pair in the front seat couldn't be bothered to care what anyone else was thinking. Lives were on the line. Twenty minutes later, they were pulling up to the Matriarch's heavily-guarded compound. That was something new. The palisade of petrified wood hadn't been there before. With a grimace of worry, Finn stepped out of the vehicle, admonishing Drew and Sarah to wait outside. Taking Fionna and his Minister for Sustenance with him, the big man headed through the gate.

Inside the compound, the guards directed him to the Matriarch's secretary. The trio found the plump woman at her desk within the entry. Plump Marianne gave the King of Ooo a wary look as he approached. Nevertheless, when Fionna reminded her that she'd already secured an appointment, the plump wood-nymph got up and led them out to where the council was meeting. The Matriarch's business was now conducted in a beautiful gazebo, and Finn whistled appreciatively at the sight of the burnished wood. Fionna explained, "they've been felling trees as they can to improve their defenses..." They had managed to create a buffer with the neighboring forest. The cut trees had become homes and walkways and other sundries to fill the needs of the locals. Finn nodded. His wife was making good moves. Now he hoped to convince her to make one more.

Striding into the room, he found nearly all of Emeraude's cabinet there. Either she'd chosen to make this hard, or they were here for another reason. Marianne announced, "the King of Ooo has come to address the Council..." Not the Matriarch. Certainly not his wife. The Council. E was going to make this hard. Squaring up, Finn strode forward, prepared to give the speech of his life.

As Finn made speech, his son prepared to face the consequences of his earlier failure. The airship that was to transport a portion of the weapon shipment settled to the ground on the edge of the airfield in a cloud of yellow dust. Billy couldn't help remembering that the last time he'd been here, he was supposed to return home with radioactive fuel to run the Tesla Barrier. That trip had ended with Oreva under Wildberry's control, Billy gone crazy, and Abeiuwa dispossessed of her kingdom. _So don't fuck up twice,_ he told himself. Turning away from the window, he headed down the stairs to the cargo-hold and then aft to where the crew was lowering the ramp. Ragnhild and the handful of guards they'd brought were herding the fractious councilmen before them as they headed out of the ship, and Billy could just make out the top of Abeiuwa's head.

"I don't imagine you actually _like_ her," announced Noemi. Billy shivered. There was something about the Purple Princess that tended to do that to him. Her voice. Even her presence around him seemed to disturb his equilibrium, and he'd be damned if he knew why. He didn't really understand why she'd invited herself along on this trip. She'd claimed she was looking after the Cabinet's interests, but that was supposed to be Ragnhild's job. "Abeiuwa's gruff," said Billy, "but she has reasons to be." Coming alongside him, Noemi the Purple Princess nodded sagely. Her fingers teased his arm, as she said, "but you seem to handle her alright." Billy flushed at the implications of that. He didn't _handle_ Abeiuwa at all. He was mortified that he'd let her come to harm. Shaking himself, he gathered up his bag and Noemi's both and headed out.

Wagons were waiting for them, and Billy made sure that the councilors got split up and put under guard. They weren't very high in Abeiuwa's esteem right now. She didn't trust them, and Billy could easily understand why. He put the three Princesses in the wagon he was personally guarding, settled himself on the bench with the driver, and gave the orders for the cavalcade to get moving.

The cavalcade took under an hour to wend its way through the capitol to Abeiuwa's palace. Billy could see signs of the unease that filled Jungle Kingdom just now. Behind him, the three princesses were mostly quiet, though Noemi seemed to have an urge to fill the air with chatter just to hear somebody's voice. Ragnhild was under some kind of strain, and Billy thought it was being away from their boys. She wasn't talking, and he hesitated to push right now. They were raw from the ugliness of the last few weeks. He could only watch and wait, hoping she'd open up about it. Now, as the cavalcade rolled up on the palace, the big man changed his focus to ensuring the survival of the woman he loved.

Palace functionaries swept down on their beautiful monarch the minute the wagons were stopped. If her cabinet couldn't seem to remember she was princess, Abeiuwa's servants had no such trouble. In short order, they'd hauled her inside, disposed of the ugly _foreign_ clothing she'd been wearing and installed her in a bathtub. Billy could only follow along, doing his best not to get under foot while trying to keep an eye on the Jungle Princess to make sure her head stayed attached to her neck. When the princess was decent, the big man sent for Ragnhild before going in to see her.

Much as she'd been dressed the day Wildberry betrayed her, Abeiuwa came dressed in a traditional Jungle Kingdom dress of wild-tiger skin and fragrant leather. Today her dress came loose, doing much to disguise the shape of her body. Billy decided that was probably a good thing. He wouldn't be tempted to look at her as he'd caught himself doing a couple of times. "William," she addressed him. It was prickly mode. Again. Billy forced his own irritation away. They needed to make this work, and it didn't help if he got nasty too. Instead, he turned his mind towards working his way through the tactical problems of getting to Yolanda's front door and getting Muscle Kingdom squared away without excessive bloodshed.

When Ragnhild arrived, he escorted the pair down to the audience hall where Abeiuwa would meet the Guild of Smiths. They needed all of this to go off without a hitch. Time was wasting. The invasion army was ready to move on Muscle Kingdom, but without weapons the offensive was doomed before it started. The big man did his best to fade into the background while the princesses took care of business.

Abeiuwa spoke little enough. Far from the articulate woman that Billy knew, she seemed to be having a little trouble focusing. The guild, sniffing blood, went hard at her, making demands for more money and pressuring her to call the whole thing off. There were a lot of men who wanted to gouge the King of Ooo, and pretty much nobody was excited about handing over weapons for free. It seemed Abeiuwa wasn't the only greedy soul in Jungle Kingdom. The cackling pack of them went hard at their Princess, forcing her to give ground again and again. Alarmed as he was at some of the concessions getting made, Billy kept his mouth shut. Finally the princesses were able to get a deal on the table and get out of there.

Walking back towards the Royal Suites, Billy found himself seething with emotion. They were on the brink here. He had no idea how they were going to pay the exorbitant price the guild had levied for the weapons Abeiuwa was promising. His dad had used up everything he owned of value. The King of Ooo was effectively broke. He found himself wanting to shout at Abeiuwa for being stubborn. Seeming to sense what he was thinking, the beautiful princess glared at him and said, "you will get your weapons, William." She sounded angry, and his own irritation got the better of him, as he demanded, "how?! We don't have that kind of money!" "I will make this goo...," she started to say, and then she collapsed, right where she was standing.

Sensing disaster, Billy snatched her up and all but _ran_ into the Royal Wing of the palace. The last thing they needed was for someone to see _that_. They'd never get out of here with the weapons. Hell, they might not get out of here at all. Some of Abeiuwa's cabinet thought she was a fake. Ragnhild rushed ahead of him, getting the doors open to clear his way. Billy brought the exhausted princess straight to her bedchamber and lay her across the heavy leather-and-tiger-skin bed. Listening at her heart, he said, "she's breathing." His eyes were a little haunted, and Ragnhild knew why. She knew exactly what he was thinking. Abeiuwa could be having some sort of relapse or reaction from the toxins Wildberry had put in both of them. And that meant _he_ could be next.

With a sigh, the Froyo Princess said, "I have to tell you something, Bill." The way she said that told him he better sit down. Staring at the floor, she admitted, "I've been keeping something from you." He frowned up at her. She was doing damage to their marriage, and she knew it. At the same time, Cherry was right. They were so raw in this. Everything was hitting them at once–hitting _him_ at once. She had to mitigate some of the worst of it, and she told him that. As he absorbed that–as he wondered what this had to do with Jungle Princess–his wife told him, "Abeiuwa's pregnant. It's yours."

Back in the Grey Forest, an irritated Finn strode out of the Matriarch's audience-hall after a disastrous meeting with his wife. E had gone stubborn on him, refusing to discuss what was ailing her and refusing to even entertain any sort of discussion on the merits of entering the war. Finn knew a dismissal when he heard one. Gathering up his companions, the big man headed out, his mind already working on how to run off Blargetha's army. If they didn't have firepower, they would have to do it by stealth. Behind him, he left turmoil. A fair chunk of the cabinet, Auda and Clarice among them, saw Emeraude as a stubborn fool. The King of Ooo had a wealth of connections and resources that could help the wood-nymphs. Just as they had their representative in Wizard City, the pair thought they should have a representative in the King's Court.

Apolline, who was Mistress of the Purse, felt that they were passing up a chance to be off the King's account-book. They _owed_ him. The nymphs of the Grey Forest owed that man a debt that went back twenty years. Finn the Human had sheltered them repeatedly from the ravages of the unscrupulous, and there were some who feared they might well have gone extinct without his protection. Balanced against both factions were the Neutrals. Those women had taken to the Matriarch's stance of isolation and neutrality wholeheartedly. They wanted to retire behind the Wall and break ties with the outside world. All three factions threatened to come to blows until Emeraude dismissed the lot.

Muttering curses and looking mortally depressed, the Matriarch went up into her home, closeted herself in her office, and did her best to push them all away. That was where the Law Keeper found her. Emeraude had her face buried in the reports from Colette on the food supply. Grid-Person airships had been making progress removing Bonnie's peeps from her domain, but there were still a lot of them here. The food-supply was still under strain, and they were headed into winter, when the sun wouldn't be as much of a resource for them. She had to figure out an answer for that, and she had to do it fast.

Voletta, who'd followed her all the way from the council hall, watched the distraught woman in a state of profound sadness. She was damaging things with her mate. She was pushing away the man who'd loved her and nurtured her–for their sake. "Mother," said Voletta. Distractedly, the Matriarch glanced up at her Law Keeper, as she settled on the edge of Emeraude's desk. "Mother, I know you tried to keep us out of this for the sake of protecting our people, but... Mother, our King needs us. He's done so much for our people..." "Don't you start," muttered Emeraude. It was the angry tone that was meant to drive you away when she wasn't up for dealing with you. Voletta reached out and shut the book, earning a blistering torrent of profanity. Weathering that outburst, the Law Keeper said, "why do you fear to offer our support, Mother. You would gladly have gone at his side." She had seen it in the older woman's eyes. Emeraude had said it herself. That was her family.

"Momma sold the lives of many of your fellows, 'Letta," Emeraude muttered. There were tears in her voice. "If the invasion ships hadn't been sunk, you'd have been a frozen corpse too." Now Voletta saw. "Mother," said the Law Keeper, "I will offer myself to the King, and I'll do it gladly because he is our savior." When Emeraude looked up at her, the wizard-woman said, "he's saved us so many times, I consider it a debt to be paid. He didn't have to prevail upon the Lady of the Wastes to save us, Mother. You're right... Perhaps it _would_ look awful to _send_ our sisters to fight. It's just as awful not to give them the choice."

Back in Jungle Kingdom, a distraught Billy Mertens walked into the Royal Wing's garden, his mind a whirl of mad emotions. He'd raped Abeiuwa. In spite of Ragnhild's words, he felt like he had. It didn't really matter that he'd been under the influence of Wildberry's toxins, he'd assaulted Oreva's wife. He felt horrible. He felt, honestly, like his world had just crumbled to nothing. It was the lowest moment in his life since JJ had died in his arms. Honestly, he felt nothing like a hero at all. He felt like the worst person on the face of Ooo.

It had been well over a year since the last time he'd thought about suicide. Ragnhild had come into his life, and he'd become a changed man. He'd come to live for Anders, Simon, and their mom. Now he wanted to die. How would he face his sons? How could he teach them how to be men, when he had done something so awful? The thought came to him quick as that. He could walk into the jungle. He could walk into the jungle with the horrifying predators that lived there. He'd never come back. He wouldn't be doing it himself. He'd just let nature take its course.

"Billy," came the murmur. He spun around, finding Noemi there. He shot to his feet, stammering out apologies, babbling really. "Shhh," she breathed. " _Relax_..." A scent touched him, and a strange feeling came over him. "She shouldn't have told you that," murmured the Purple Princess, as she approached. Billy's distraught young face slowly relaxed. "Come here, sweet boy," she breathed. When he did so, the plump woman enfolded him in her arms. "You're a very sweet man," she sighed. "This wasn't your fault..." Mesmerized, the younger man stood there staring at her. She found herself tempted to have a taste. He tasted very good to her matured senses.

" _Billy_ ," called Ragnhild! The young man snapped out of his daze. Shaking himself, he said, "oh... Noemi... It's you." "What has you out here," she asked? His face went red hot as he remembered his dark thoughts from moments earlier. Before he could say a word, Ragnhild came on the scene. Her makeup was smeared, and he could tell she'd been crying. He couldn't imagine what this was doing to her. "Baby," he breathed. "I-I'm sorry... I..." She shushed him. Throwing her arms around his shoulders, she said, "I don't want to talk about this ever again. It's been killing me not telling you about that... Now let's forget this whole thing..." Sadly, he said, "I can't forget it, Rags... I... did something awful... I've got to square this... Somehow, I've got to make this right." Pushing his wife aside, the big man headed back into the palace.

Coldly, Noemi said, "you should never have told him that." Ragnhild's face snapped around, and she remembered Sarah's words to her. "Who do you think you are," growled the Froyo Princess? "Do you think a man could accept that," said the Purple Princess? "You should never have told him that. Men are weak, and they think with their chest hairs. You'd have destroyed him for nothing. By her own words, she created that mess. She should never have allowed that fucking bitch into her kingdom. Now you'd sacrifice your man for her." Gathering up her skirts, Ragnhild shouted, "you stay away from my husband, bitch!" And she raced after Billy.

Inside the palace, Billy returned to Abeiuwa's room to find her sitting up in bed. Her brows furrowed as she regarded him. Shutting the door–locking it for good measure–Billy turned and approached the bed. "She told you," muttered the Jungle Princess. It wasn't a question. Billy nodded. "I... want to apologize," he said. "I had no right..." "You're a fool," she snapped. "You were drugged and violent. I'd much prefer getting fucked to having my guts torn out." His face went red hot. As he stared at her, she said, "it was a calculated maneuver on my part. I was losing my mind, and I didn't know how much time I had left before I did. It was all I could do to... divert you. I was blessed to have it succeed. We both were. If anybody is the rapist, it's that fucking berry-woman."

The angry woman had developed a tremendous hatred of Wildberry Princess, and she began muttering about all the awful things she would have done to her former house-guest for vengeance, interspersed with blistering torrents of profanity. Her words left Billy's face red and had him staring at the floor. Somewhere in the middle of that ugly diatribe, the bitter older woman broke down and began to sob uncontrollably. Billy immediately threw himself on his knees at her side. "I want to fix this," he said. "I don't know how. I don't know how to make this right..." He hugged the older woman, letting her cry on him, while he swore that berry-bitch would pay for what she'd done to the both of them. He swore that he'd get Oreva back, whole and unharmed.

Abeiuwa pushed him away. "I need to sleep," she muttered. Billy took hold of her face, saying, "we can't keep pretending... We... need to figure this out." He meant the baby. She was embarrassed. She'd picked the studliest man in her kingdom to settle down with, and when she didn't get pregnant, she assumed it was _her_ that was the problem. Now, after all these years, she found out that it was Oreva that had the problem. Knocked up after just one incident with a strange man. She was mortified. "Tomorrow," she muttered. Billy let her go. Rising, he moved to the door, bidding her goodnight as he did so. Ragnhild was waiting outside for him, and he immediately slipped his arms around her, apologizing profusely. "For what," she demanded? "Being human?" Wiping at his tears, she said, "you're a _man_ , William. Not a machine. I don't need you perfect. I need you here with our sons to show them that, with all their mortal flaws, they can still be good men too."


	42. Chapter 42

Chapter 42:

The pretty doctor listened carefully to the King's chest as he slowly breathed in and out. It was a disconcerting sign for the young wood-nymph. Nevertheless, she continued on with her plan. Bowing before him, Voletta announced, "good morning, Your Majesty. I am sorry if I'm interrupting..." Finn, annoyed as he was about E's antics of the previous evening, and a little irritated with Drew's poking and prodding, motioned for her to get to the point. Flushing, the warrior-wizard declared, "I am here to offer my services and those of twelve like-minded sisters for the coming conflict." Finn's frown deepened. Softly, he said, "the Matriarch has made clear that no support is being offered."

Bowing to him again, the wizard said, "it is not the Matriarch's support that I offer. Only my own." Those words made Finn sit up and take notice. Voletta was a first-class wizard. Certainly she was far better than the _nothing_ they had. "And you won't be punished for this," he asked? Voletta flushed again. Never himself. Only others. "The Matriarch does not own my life, Your Majesty," she said. "Rise, Voletta," said the King. Straightening, the wizard offered him a small smile. "The King has been most generous," the wizard said. "He has made our people safe in their beds and restored hope to folk long unused to the notion. For sake of that, we offer our service." Twelve of them–thirteen with Voletta herself. "Thank-you, Voletta," he said. "Please wait outside. I'll be with you in a moment."

The wizard let herself back out again. Drew began wrapping up her examination. Drawing a syringe from her coat, she said, "you're going to be a pin-cushion if you don't start taking your supplements, Finn." It was her best 'I'm not riding your ass, even though I am' tone of voice. Much as he always did, he tried to appease her. As she was administering the shot, Emeraude walked into the room. Her eyes immediately fell on the needle. "Not what you're thinking," he said. Which told her it was exactly what she was thinking. He wasn't taking care of himself. Again. He was in danger of being burned up alive. Still. Glumly, Emeraude turned away. She'd sworn she would maintain their home, but she was being pulled away. Again. Still. She felt every flavor of disloyal.

"Drew," he called, "babe, can you wait outside a moment..." "One more shot," she said. E grimaced as the doctor eased another needle into his opposite arm. The wizard woman broke down then. "I just came to say I'm sorry," Emeraude sobbed. She fled the room at that point, leaving him staring at the floor. "I'm sorry too," Finn murmured. Drew said not a word as she put the syringe back in her medical kit. Finn climbed off the table and began to put his shirt back on. As he was buttoning up, Drew slipped her arms around his shoulders from behind, and he didn't even need to see her face to know she was crying too. Her voice was remarkably steady–as only a doctor's could be–as she said, "do what you need to do, Finn."

Hundreds of miles to the south, the Hero King's son stared out at the broad, flat expanse of land that marked the central plains of Muscle Kingdom. Star had been quietly dueling the Muscle Guard for control of the border, while their father tried to put together some kind of plan to finish things off here. Aided and abetted by the undead army that had been ravaging the land, Star had been kicking butt. Now it was time to put an end to the drama. Billy the Human had a lot on his mind as he stared out through binoculars at the distant encampments guarding the approaches to Muscle City.

Once upon a time, he'd dreamed of vacationing here with JJ, his late wife. They'd talked about places to go a lot in those days, daydreaming really. There was a lot of water under the bridge now, and Billy had a wife, two boys that he loved, a third child on the way, and a lot of personal angst. He and Abeiuwa were talking now. He was trying to figure out a way to see their child. Their surprise, sort of unasked-for child. The talks were a little difficult because the proud princess was having trouble with the way they'd conceived their miracle baby. Billy was far more concerned about all the drugs Abeiuwa had been exposed to. He was scared witless by the thought of what that might have done. _Staring into space isn't helping us get past this,_ thought the big man.

"I don't want you to go," he said. Abeiuwa sniffed haughtily. She was doing better. With the secret taken care of, she'd gotten rehydrated, and the timely help of the palace witch-doctor had her feeling her oats. Billy saw this as needlessly dangerous. He thought she was being reckless out of an overweening since of honor and shame. Abeiuwa thought he missed the point. She was Princess. If the Princess sent the troops to war, she needed to have a stake in things. She had to be here leading the way if her husband wasn't. "You're not my husband," she muttered. Billy flushed to his hair. Smiling, he said, "but I am the father of your child." The proud princess glanced away. Taking up her spears and shield, she said, "let's get this over with."

Billy raised his arm and began signaling the troops to march. Abeiuwa headed back to her army, finding them champing at the bit for a little payback against the people who'd tried to take over their kingdom. She wasted no time at all on speeches. Instead, she merely stepped off, spears and shield at the ready, motioning for her followers to do the same.

Across the way, Muscle Princess stood watching in terror at the army that had simply shown-up at her door. She'd been in a state of panic these last weeks–really since the zombies had come out of the Bee Kingdom and tried to sack her capitol. She'd lost most of her army in that disastrous raid, rendering her kingdom all but impotent. Now she had to throw the hastily-gathered replacement into combat well before they were ready. This was a disaster! More to the point, neither Wildberry nor the witch were answering her phone-calls. It was like she'd been written off!

Slowly but surely the enemy army came marching forward. The commander of the Muscle Guard bade his men stand ready. He was also new in his position. His predecessor had been chopped to pieces by his own men–or what had once been his troops. Renaldo didn't know quite what he was going to do here. The enemy wasn't supposed to have any troops either. Really, it had been the little wood-nymph keeping the frontier these last weeks. Now this? Where had they managed to scrape together troops? And how was he going to stop so many?

 _Cannon, Renaldo,_ thought the jumped-up general. _We have guns. They don't._ Indeed, the cannon were already beginning to open up from their hidden positions. They'd been wheeled up overnight and set into place. Now they opened fire, laying into the unrushing army. Heavy round shot sent soldiers flying like bowling-pins. Still, the enemy kept coming. More disturbing, they began to reply. Wizards, down in among the press of soldiers moving forward, began to sling spells into the ranks of the Muscle Guard. Men died, blasted asunder or crushed by blasts of force. Strokes of lightning burned many to a crisp. Through it all, Renaldo Martinez did his best to hang tough. He rallied his men, when they might well have fled.

Now, sheets of ice began to form among and around the men. One of the Ice-King's misbegotten progeny was here. Unfortunately, whichever one it was, he or she wasn't flying. They were hiding down amongst the press. "Send the cavalry out," shouted the General. Moments after the order was given, Muscle-Guards mounted on the fastest horses they had went thundering out and around the enemy's left flank. If he could get the enemy ranks to break up and get a clean shot at some of those wizards, he had a chance.

Abeiuwa the Jungle Princess saw the threat as the horsemen came riding out. Whistling to her troops, she turned and went loping across the ground to meet them head on. Stopping short, the tall princess leveled her Assegai and let fly with two darts before hurling the spear itself. And then she began to run again, having felled a pair of the enemy. Her troops followed her example, firing into the packed mass of horsemen, felling whoever they could, before rushing forward to get to grips with them. The charge of the cavalry began to falter, and the horsemen tried to turn away. As they would have ridden back to their own lines, a wall of impenetrable ice rose up to block their way. The horsemen turned to ride north, but again a wall blocked them. In short order, they found themselves boxed in–walled off on three sides. Grimly, the Jungle-Guard marched forward, leveling their Assegai. As the Muscle Guard's commander watched, the Jungle-People ended the threat of his cavalry in a barrage of steel javelins before closing in to stab the remnant to death in close-combat.

All up and down the field, the story was the same with the enemy advancing against his men. The Muscle Guard managed to whittle back the odds some, but the outcome was clearly predetermined. Some of his cannon were being found and put out of action. If he wanted a chance at saving the rump of his army, it was time to retreat. Could they reach the city, they could hold out until help could reach them. He hoped. Signaling the retreat, he put the princess back in her carriage, and sent her on her way, sending the cannon with her. Grimly, he stayed on, deploying his Forlorn Hope to try and hold the enemy at bay.

Back in the north, the Froyo Guard and Banana Guard came marching into view around the curve of the Grey Forest. Blargetha had been expecting them for days. She'd honestly expected the little cunt to make her move quite a bit sooner than this. Fionna was like her father–impatient and altogether kind of stupid. And clearly it was only the accident of a wizard's curse that had kept the pair in this fight as long as they'd lasted. Now things were coming down to the crux. Her tanks had pricked at the Banana Guard's lines in a few scattered clashes. She never risked more than a handful at a time, and she'd learned some valuable lessons. The enemy had cannon, but they were slow to load and fire, being more a relic of a far-distant past than effective fighting engines. They had difficulty hitting moving targets, and her tanks could get close and hose them down with dart-guns at close range. That was the sort of fight it was going to be today.

Sipping at coffee spiced with a sweet brandy, the Slime-Person reflected on her situation. When she'd deposed Hurletta, she'd been on top of the world. She'd been a key member of the alliance to rid the world of Bonnibel Bubblegum. Quick victories had seen them take control of Breakfast Kingdom and roll halfway across Bonnie's kingdom in the Grasslands. It had seemed as though everything would go their way until fucking robot-bitch came up with that fucking barrier. That signal failure had seen Blargetha basically on a shelf for months, sitting there in place, watching that barrier for even the hint of an opportunity. Even her attempt to sneak commandos into the Candy Kingdom had failed spectacularly. If she were at all honest with herself, she would have admitted to being a little terrified. If Maja couldn't deliver the goods, where did that leave the rest of them?

She was _still_ a little afraid. Strudel saw that fear in unguarded moments where the slime-woman would pace up and down. The fallen princess of Breakfast Kingdom saw Blargetha's fear in the violent reactions to setbacks and the endless maneuvers she put her hand-picked troops through. Honestly, Strudel _encouraged_ the terror, reminding her captor of all the ways Finn had of making the slime-woman howl and all the reasons he had for doing just that. There were moments where Blargetha scarcely slept a wink and looked for all the world as if she'd just throw herself off a cliff to have a chance at salvation or escape.

"Do you really think you can beat them," Strudel queried? "They say she moves as fast as _he_ does now." Blargetha knew who _he_ was. She was incensed that Maja hadn't taken the chance to kill him. Even if it would only have delayed them a little bit, it might have been breathing room for their coalition. What had the bitch been thinking? She should well have known she couldn't _keep_ Finn the Human locked up. Nobody could. It was a thought out of the blue and perilously close to the seeds of doubt the little breakfast-bitch had been sowing with joyous abandon these last few weeks. Coldly, Blargetha told her unwilling guest, "you better hope I don't let Rudolph have you. He's been itching to see if you really taste like apples..." The carnivorous fruit-person leered at Strudel. Several of Wildberry's people had sort of fallen off the wagon, reasoning that if it was a fight to the last, they might as well taste the forbidden flesh. Why limit themselves to animals when it seemed like the whole world was against them?

Strudel squared up and said, "but he likely won't be _alive_ to do it. He'll get diced into melon-cubes..." Rudolph growled at her, but Blargetha shushed him. "You listen here, you little...," she snarled! The sounds of distant gunfire stole her attention away. It had started. The Froyo-Guard were opening the battle from extreme long range. It was just what she'd been expecting. It was what she would have done if faced with her tanks. Rising, the evil slime-woman headed over to her commander. "Get them on line," she snapped. "Be quick about it." The general moved off, barking orders as he did so. Minutes crawled by with shells slowly creeping closer to her precious war machines. Finally, as her fear and worry grew to a crescendo, the tanks began to roll.

Blargetha returned to the table, plucking her phone from the wooden surface. As Strudel watched, she dialed up Wildberry. The bitch was paralyzed with her terror these days. Sometimes it seemed she would be unable to take a shit without consulting her distant _partners_. Strudel had openly begun to call Maja the bitch's master. She was daring quite a lot. The prideful bitch was very prickly about her situation. At the same time, they both knew it for true. Maja–and Wildberry–called the shots. "Calling the boss," asked Strudel? "Maybe you shouldn't do anything before you ask permission..."

Blargetha was still cussing Strudel when Wildberry answered. "Who're you calling a cunt," the bad berry demanded? Blargetha offered profuse apologies, stammering out excuses. Wildberry cut her off, demanding she get to the point. "Finn's kid," said the Slime-Princess. "She's on the move..." " _And_...," demanded Wildberry? There was a pause, during which Slime Princess was intensely aware of Strudel's knowing eyes watching her. "I-I need instructions," stammered a humiliated Blargetha.

On the other end of the line, an irritated Wildberry growled, "your instructions were to pin that little bitch in place at the Grey Forest–without losing those machines. We're going to need them, so you had better keep them intact or don't bother coming back. Is that clear enough?" Blushing furiously, Blargetha acknowledged the instructions, but she found herself acknowledging the dial tone. Wildberry had already hung up. The sight of Strudel's smirking face had her ready to sick Rudolph on the bitch. Instead she grabbed her binoculars and turned to the battle, straining to see what was going on.

Back in Wildberry Kingdom, an irritated Wildberry stood staring at Maja as she put the Bear through his paces. The nasty bitch hadn't been the same since she'd come back from Emerald Kingdom. Even seizing the Bear had done little to restore her towering arrogance. If the Sour Berry really _thought_ about it, she would have been forced to conclude that Maja was afraid. It left the Bad Berry wondering what had happened. Maudie could tell her nothing. She'd been working on Emerald Princess while the witch dug up the monster. Unfortunately Orzsebet was enjoying the delights of Bonnibel's dungeon, so she couldn't give her side of what happened.

Striding out to her business partner, the little Royal asked, "ok. What gives?" Maja grimaced in profound unhappiness. For a wonder she actually answered, "he's too slow..." Shaking her head, the evil harridan grumbled, "too fucking slow by half..." She banished the Bear back into the earth, turned, and walked back inside, bound for her lab. She was always down there now. Not sleeping. Not eating. She hardly spoke at all. Maja was a mess. Wildberry had been a bit anxious about that until she went down to visit the little lizard. The Card for today had featured a leering skull visage and the single word–Apocalypse. Said card had cleaned the board of all Finn's allies and left him and the witch alone on the board. Wildberry had been delighted. It was good news for a mind grown weary. She was now trying to nurse the bitch along until she could reach that climactic fight.

Back in the field, Blargetha watched with baited breath as her troops closed on the enemy. She alternated sips of Brandy with chewing at her freshly-grown fingernails. She was a nervous wreck not least because she was no general–not really. While she had the intellect and genius to _build_ the war-machines, she had no idea how to use them. Deep inside, she'd honestly just assumed her foes would be too terrified to fight–that their knees would turn to jelly at the mere sight of such awesome weapons. Far from fleeing like curs, Finn and his crew had fought back and _won_. Blargetha was terrified that she would lose her precious machines and become _useless_ to Maja and Wildberry.

Across that field, Voletta prepared to lay down life and limb for her people and her King. She felt almost giddy. She'd been on this road for a life-time. She'd been walking this road since the brothel offered her to an itinerant wizard as payment for a debt. The incensed wizard had made the skinny girl his apprentice shortly after the brothel finished burning to the ground. It was a lesson she never forgot, though it was a hard example to maintain. She'd fallen off the path a few times over the years–most recently when the False Matriarch ordered her to do unsavory things. Matriarch Emeraude and her King had brought the young nymph squarely back on the path.

As Voletta reflected on that, a familiar form passed her in familiar purple and tan garb. "Mother," breathed the young wood-nymph. "It's Huntress," replied the Matriarch. "Just Huntress today..." Flushing, Voletta nodded. The slim figure stood staring out at the approaching war-machines for a moment. "They're only vulnerable from behind," she told the nymphs. "Separate. Lie in ambush and let them pass. Hit them from behind. Then run like hell." The dozen or so nymphs stared for a moment until Voletta's lieutenant snapped, "you heard her! Let's move!" It got decided just like that, with the Matriarch herself choosing to take the exact dead center of the enemy formation.

On and on those machines came, trading fire with the Froyo-People's cannon. One by one those guns got silenced or the crews hustled them out of the way to avoid their destruction. Emeraude spent the time crafting an illusion, hiding herself in plain sight as the tanks began searching out the rest of Fionna's army, raking the area with steel needles from their dart-guns. The wizard-woman reflected on her strange circumstance. It wasn't loyalty to her people, and it sure wasn't wisdom that brought her here today. It was an older emotion–something a thousand times more raw. "To be in love," she quoted, "is to be not wise." And then she darted under an oncoming tank.

The blast came as the crew were searching out targets and laying the guns on a knot of enemy troops. The tremendous explosion raised the whole rear of the vehicle off the ground and practically tore their guts out. Immediately the swing of the turret stopped, as the gunner's foot pressed hard on a now-dead pedal. Other explosions rang out, both near and far away. More than a dozen of the heavily armored war-wagons stopped right where they were. The combined Froyo-Banana-Guard army rushed out from their hidden positions and swarmed the stopped vehicles, climbing up on them to get to grips with the helpless crews.

That was when Blargetha got the shock of her life. The Froyo-Guard had seemed to be firing almost at random. They'd been wholly unable to zero-in on any of her machines. Instead, they'd reaped a fearsome toll on the supporting Slime-Guard as they followed along in the machines' wake. Thousands of her supporters had been wiped out as they took the brunt of brutal blasts of cannon-fire. She'd thought little of it at the time. There were plenty more where those came from. Now she saw the method to Fionna's madness. As the enemy swarmed the immobilized war-machines, there were no friendly troops to come to their aid. One by one, each crew got liquidated as more and more of the machines got disabled.

"Blargetha," announced a very familiar voice. The slime-woman turned to find Finn the Human standing there with his daughter as if they'd materialized from thin air. This hadn't been about the war-machine at all. This had all been a trap–a cunning trap for a Slime Princess. Blargetha spun this way and that, searching for escape. Meanwhile, Finn dashed up and sliced Rudolph to cubes of meat as if he was nothing but a nuisance. Fionna picked up Blargetha's phone from the table and shoved it in her face. The message was clear. Order the surrender. Or else.

Finn was now focused on the surprise. They'd all feared what had happened to Strudel. Word had gotten back to them that she was no longer in control of Breakfast Kingdom. Toast and Breakfast had feared the worst, and Cherry had nothing to tell them. Now Finn was delighted to find that one of his oldest friends was still quite alive and apparently unhurt, though she was dressed in a rather unstylish sack-dress. "Hey," Finn greeted the youngest of the breakfast princesses. Strudel rushed him and jumped on him, locking both legs around his waist. As Fionna howled laughter, the little woman kissed her father thoroughly. When she finally let go, Finn turned a sheepish expression towards his daughter, who chuckled, "another fan, father."

With Blargetha in chains, Finn sent orders to gather in the army. Heading back across the field, his mind was already on what he would have to do next. Blargetha was shut down. Maudie was chased out of her kingdom. Bill would likely have Yolanda wrapped up within a couple of days. That left Bathilde, Wildberry, and Maja. _And the_ Bear _, Finn,_ he thought. _Don't forget the Bear._ He was looking at fighting something big again with a great-big question-mark over its head. What strengths did the Bear have? What powers? What were its weakness? _Questions for Simone,_ he decided.

Returning to the army, the two leaders found that Lina the Grid-Face Person and Pedersen the Froyo-Guard had things in hand. The Slime Guards were being rounded up, and Drew was already on the job of getting the wounded collected for treatment. The numbers were high, but not catastrophic. Finn was especially grateful to see no fatalities among the nymphs who'd come out to fight.

The big man found Voletta waiting on his orders–along with a surprise. "Huntress," Finn greeted his wife. "Donk," she responded. It was just like old times. At least until Fionna's plaintive ' _mom_ '. The tall girl snatched Emeraude from her feet and tried to hug the life from her. The sight of that had everyone laughing. With the moment somewhat returned to normal, Finn stepped up and gave his wife a kiss that spoke of a lifetime of passion and intimacy. Coughing interrupted that kiss. Turning around, Finn found Sarah and Breakfast waiting on him. Coolly, the Matriarch announced, "I will expect your report at my home." And she smirked only a little. "Come along, Law Keeper," said the Grey Forest's leader. "Coming, Mother," said Voletta, as she rushed after her mistress. Sarah immediately moved in and gave the big man a scorcher of a kiss. Before Breakfast could put on the least little pout, Strudel announced, "you're ok!"

Her irritation forgotten in an instant, the eldest sister rushed forward and threw her arms around the youngest. The sight of that brought an immediate smile to Finn's face. He'd done it. The sisters were together again, and he was happy for them. Guessing at what he was thinking, Sarah hugged him and whispered, "our hero."

Cleanup occupied much of the afternoon with Fionna doing yeoman service getting the Slime-Guards locked up in a makeshift prison composed of city busses from Cocoa City. It was rough accommodations, but she got it done. Finn saw to the gathering up of every weapon left on the field, and even had the still-working war-machines moved inside the Grey-Forest for safe-keeping. He had a feeling they were going to need every last one of them. Something big was coming. He could feel it in his bones. Just like when Maja sent Darren the Sleeper against the Candy Kingdom, he felt like there was something dreadful waiting out there to pounce on the civilized lands.

At the close of the day, an exhausted Finn Mertens curled up with an equally exhausted Drew Mertens. Sarah had taken it upon herself to work on towing the disabled war-machines into the city for safe-keeping as well, giving up her night for the greater good of the allied kingdoms. Breakfast, characteristically, had scarcely lifted a finger all day, choosing instead to spend the afternoon with her sister, catching up on what had been going on. Now, as Finn lay himself back to try and rest his aching bones, the eldest of the breakfast-cuties was feeling frisky. An irritated and exhausted Finn shut the business down by the simple expedient of putting his back to her, forcing the disappointed woman to lay herself down to sleep.

The trio had barely been in bed an hour when Finn began to feel signs that maybe Breakfast didn't get the message after all. He felt a chill on his legs. At first he ignored it. It was all too common for one of the girls to hog all the covers in the night. Shortly thereafter, he felt a featherlight touch on his nads. It was so light, it felt like he was being tickled at first. Half asleep in a curious waking-dreaming state, he paid it little heed. He was actually talking to Sybil. The cursed sword was talkative this night for some reason. Maybe it was the fact that his exhaustion made him more amenable to her suggestions. He didn't know, but she sure had a lot to say.

Almost as he was feeling the warm, wet _something_ engulf his semi-hard rod, the grass-sword shoved him out of his dream, waking him. Beeps was sucking him. Muzzily, Finn mumbled, "Beeps, I'm tryin'a sleep... Quit it, already..." Not that he didn't like having his pecker sucked, mind you. Beeps wasn't nearly as good at it as E or Cherry, though, and he was pretty wasted. Breakfast burbled, "I'm not doin' anything t'you..." Breakfast was on his left, just as she'd been when he put his back to her.

Finn sat bolt upright. There was Strudel, smiling up at him–trying to–with her lips wrapped around his dong. His jaw came open, his rod went to full-mast, and he tried to scoot back from her all at once. "C'mon, Finn," she complained! "You _never_ gave me a chance..." He'd just been about to say something, when she hit him with that. Of course, what she didn't quite mention was that she'd been way too flippin' young for a pretty good chunk of that time. At one point, he'd found himself dodging Toast and Strudel both, while their older sister was annoying the fuck out of Simone and Emeraude.

As his heart raced, and his mind tried to figure out what to do with this, the youngest breakfast-cutie climbed fully onto the bed wearing nothing but a pair of plain cotton panties. Her pointy little knobs jutted out proud of her body, showing how hot she was already, and, much to his shock, Strudel had one hand stuffed down the front of those soggy drawers, and she was clearly playing with herself.

"I'm all grown up," she reminded him. "And you got all those other girls, so you can't hide behind Simone anymore..." That crack had his face red hot. He would never have thought of himself as _hiding_ behind his wife. He'd been _faithful_. At least until he _hadn't_. In exasperated tones, Drew told him, "go ahead and fuck her already, so we can all get back to sleep." Grinning like a fool, Strudel jumped on him, and, in short order, Finn had her lips pressed to his, his hands on her hips, and that hot little body rubbing against him.

Much like Breakfast, she had a _taste_ and a scent all her own. The youngest breakfast princess smelled like hot apple cider, and her hot lips tasted like fresh frosting. She wasn't a bad kisser, and he well knew he could be called a fool for complaining about having such a hot, _young_ number put moves on him. Honestly though, he felt like the carousel at Gumball-Land with legions of girls wanting to go for a ride on their favorite toy. When she let him come up for air, she had a grin a mile wide, and she couldn't seem to help giggling as her eyes flicked down to his little buddy–standing tall and proud. "C'mon," said she, "you can take these off!"

A glance at Drew was no help. She wasn't sympathetic. She was annoyed. The big man swapped places with the little beauty, putting her on her back in the bed. Now, he reached up, hooked his thumbs into the waist of her panties and slipped them off, tossing them in the corner. Her hot snatch was already pretty slippery, and he wondered how long she'd been at it before sneaking in here. At the same time, he was in for a dime already. Bending down, he startled the little woman by going down to eat at the Y. Her hips jumped, and she shrieked as he did that.

A corner of his mind remembered finding Sarah staring at him and Breakfast and the android-girl's snarky comment. She wanted to see if Breakfast really did taste like maple syrup. It wasn't a far stretch to think of her chasing Strudel down to see if she tasted like apples. Biting her lips, hips wriggling and jumping, the little woman clawed at his scalp with her thin fingers as he gave her hot oven a tongue-lashing. Fingers tangled in his hair, thighs clenching and unclenching around his neck, Strudel shrieked as she went shooting off the cliff.

The nasty little girl was a sweaty mess when Finn went climbing up over her. She was a shaking and quivering mess. Not that Finn stopped to let her catch her breath. The big man pressed his thickness against her and drove it in. Strudel shrieked at the feel of that. He was fucking huge. It wasn't like her hairbrush. Leaning forward, he toyed with her dainty little boobies as he slowly began to fuck her. "Ooooh...," she wailed. "G-go slow..." He was happy to oblige her, while beside them, a shocked Breakfast watched her boyfriend put the blocks to her little sister in a fashion that she would have found _disgraceful_ not long ago. At the same time, she was a fool who'd lived in a glass house for half her life while she threw stones at all and sundry. She'd cheated on her husband more times than she could really remember, so it was a little silly to be prudish about this. And hadn't she feuded with Toast over this very thing?

Strudel sank into the bed, feeling the sexiest man in all of Ooo making love to her. His hands on her body. His lips on hers. It all felt amazing. Slowly but surely her hot snatch got used to his fat pecker, and he began to slowly go faster and deeper both. As the big man possessed her, her restless hands clawed at his back and pulled at his butt, urging him on. They squeezed and stroked her own little boobies until she was ready to shriek, and when he jabbed it in particularly hard, she would see stars and find herself screaming his name. Finally Finn grabbed her hard little butt, pulling her towards him as he sank his thick meat into her to the base. She could feel him shooting off inside her, and she couldn't help a grin as she thought of having his baby. Not even Breakfast had managed to do _that_!

Hundreds of miles to the south, the eldest of the King's children stood staring into the gloom at the capitol of Muscle Kingdom. The Muscle-Guard had gone into full retreat. Their commander had done his best to keep them together in some state of cohesion, deploying a string of tricks and subterfuges to keep the conquering Army of Ooo at bay. An entire battalion had laid down their lives, absorbing brutal close assaults from the Jungle-Guard and barrages of cannon-fire. It was somewhat taking longer than Billy's father had hoped. Honestly, Finn was two steps ahead, as usual. In his mind, slaughtering the Muscle-Guard might be useful if you were Maja, but it didn't work so well if you were planning to rule the kingdom. It would just piss off a lot of peeps and turn them against you. Besides which, who would work the fields and factories? Billy's job for tonight was to get into the city, take Yolanda prisoner, and install somebody on the throne who would turn his or her back on war.

Abeiuwa and Noemi were both standing beside him as he took in the scene before him. He understood why the Jungle Princess was here. He was still puzzled by Noemi's need to be here on scene. Ragnhild was back north in the Candy Kingdom, working, leaving it to Billy to manage her troops. Abeiuwa had to at least put in a showing to give the appearance of supporting the troops. Noemi hadn't even contributed anything to this fight, so why was _she_ here? One thing was certain. Both women were in an odd sort of mood, and they were distracting the big man from his work.

"How will you do it," asked Noemi? She meant getting in. "Not much to it," replied the young man. "Star's been there for days. She called an hour ago to report she has control of the river gate. Me and the boys will just float in." Both women stared at him in shock. It was obvious that Abeiuwa especially expected some kind of heroic bloodbath. They apparently thought he would go over the walls, killing hundreds or even _thousands_ at a sitting. Now the pair seemed actually _disappointed_ that he had no such plan. There were days he just didn't _get_ women. Turning to Abeiuwa, he said, "you're in charge. Hold down the fort until I call. Should be easy to get in then." Sliding his binoculars into a pouch, the big man headed off with his troops, bound for the river.

In the city, Star Mertens stood over the body of Antonio Fernandez, her once and former bodyguard. He'd been at her back, feeding information to the other side for quite a while. He'd clued the enemy in about defenses in the Candy Palace. He'd helped them learn about Cherry's operations. He'd passed everything he could up the chain to Orzsebet and all under their collective noses. For Star, he'd been an annoyance–with his insinuations that she could do a lot better than Thor and his constant suggestions that a nymph maybe ought to consider a new line of work. She's paid him little heed and treated him with something less than respect. Honestly, it was hardly a surprise to find that he was a _mole_. It fit. It fit a lot of their circumstances. Now he was playing one last part for her.

She'd arranged for him to get her 'alone'. She'd arranged a moment where he could strike with impunity. Using Orzsebet's own passphrases and communications channels, they'd fed him orders to 'abduct' the wood-nymph wonder and carry her to Muscle Kingdom to await further instructions. And poor, dumb Tony had done just as he was told. He'd stripped her of all the weapons he thought she had, completely missing the belly-button ring she'd just had put in. The Instrument was weak–really only capable of managing a few minor spells before burning out. That had let her get to her clothes and gear. And those weapons let her get into this castle to open the river gate for her brother and his dudes.

While she waited, the wood nymph exchanged texts with her boyfriend, talking about future plans for a world where there weren't people trying to murder them. She was hoping to get herself retired. Fionna was back on the job. Billy was back. There was plenty of muscle for the family to get by on. Strangely enough, it was Thor who was angling to take her old spot. He was walking away from the underworld–with Cherry's blessing. That was the thing. All Wicked Stepmom had ever really wanted was for the two of them to be happy, and if that meant Thor went his way, she was good with that. She was Lord of the Underworld, and there would be hell to pay for anybody dumb enough to molest them. _Just got to get through this,_ thought Star, as she slid her phone back in her pocket. _C'mon, Bill. Where are you?_

Splashing announced the first of the boats. Billy himself came paddling up out of the darkness, steering the boat carefully through the water-gate. "Sorry, I'm late, sis," he told her, as Star got the boat tied up. Star found she couldn't be bothered to be angry. Her beloved brother wasn't crazy anymore, and that was more than enough for her overwrought mind. She wanted him at the wedding. She was torn for who she wanted to walk her down more–brother or father. The hug she gave him was brief by necessity. The first of the troops was arriving, and it was time to get to work. As the warrior-wizard caught the rope thrown by the man at the prow, she promised herself to spend some of her precious free time on him the minute this was done.

One by one the boats came slipping in. One by one they got offloaded. It was going as fast as they could manage, but it was still taking far longer than either sibling wanted. Her treachery wouldn't remain hidden forever. Muscle Princess had been floating the idea of using her as a hostage if things got tight. She'd really hoped her army could do better in the field, but that was a vain hope. Now she was in desperate straights and anxious to use anything she had in her hands. Once they found out Star was missing, they'd track her here and the fight would be on.

"Alarm," a voice shouted!

"Looks like we're found," Star burbled. Turning to face the guard, she slagged him with a lightning bolt. But the fight was on anyway. The Muscle Guards patrolling the area all came running to the sound of the guns. Billy and Star charged forward at the head of their own troops, hurling squalls of ice, blast-bolts, and lightning. In short order, they'd blown the enemy back out of the gate-castle, clearing the way for the remaining boats to land. "Take the left," Billy shouted. Waving for troops to follow, he headed down the street on the right.

The furious engagement took scarcely any time to get the attention of the mistress of the Muscle Kingdom up in her palace. The family had been rather hard on their matriarch these past few months. She'd made mistake after mistake, choosing untrustworthy allies and throwing in with people who'd inadvertently been conspiring to help the Lich rather than contain him. Their neighbors, the Fluffy-People, had been annihilated. Then, when it had seemed that the Lich was under control Yolanda's _friends_ had freed him. Far from contributing to the protection of their world, Yolanda's friends had doubled down. Wildberry had persecuted the few people who seemed to have some capacity to stop their ancient foe.

Matters had gotten little better in the intervening months. While the Princess Privy Council was deep in the business of cleaning up the mess, Yolanda had indulged the various hangers-on at her palace, showering good living and good times on them, infuriating people who were now starving in the street. One bad decision had led to another bad decision, which had cascaded into a _flood_ of them. The Muscle-Guard had been destroyed in a pointless adventure into the Bee Kingdom. Now the remnant was struggling to fight off invasion, and they had war in the very streets of the capitol.

Turning from the scene outside, Pedra, the Princess's aunt declared, "this is the limit, Yolanda! This disastrous war cannot continue! We're perilously close to losing our grip on our own country! You promised this wouldn't put the Kingdom at risk, but you've delivered us _catastrophe_!" Yolanda's eyes found the floor. All of that was true, and there was no way she could find to deflect the blame for it. Her eyes flicked to the other members of the Royal Clan. She'd feared what she might find there in their eyes. She'd feared the anger. She'd feared she'd find treachery and hunger for her power. What she found now was very much _worse_. They were _afraid_. They were afraid for their lives. They were _ashamed_ of what she'd done. They saw her not just as a failure, but as a dangerous _fool_ who was shitting on the world that their ancestors had built.

In the end, they didn't have to ask for the crown. She gave it to them. It was the first _adult_ decision of her life, though there was no praise on offer for it. Instead, the family swiftly crowned her niece, Nieve, as Princess in her stead. Shortly thereafter, her uncle was rushing out to put an end to the fighting before it was too late to do so. As Billy the Human marched up on the palace with hundreds of troops at his back, Yolanda was hauled out in chains to face the consequences of her arrogance and greed.

Turning to the young woman who now wore the crown, the big man asked, "am I to understand that you are now in command here?" Nieve replied, "I am." Nodding, Billy said, "on behalf of the King of Ooo, I offer you an opportunity to renounce violence and return to the ranks of the Privy Council. Upon disbandment of your army, the King is prepared to offer food and supplies of fuel sufficient to see your people through the coming fall and winter. Of course, as surety against recalcitrance, a garrison will be maintained outside of town..." The Royals bristled at that, but Billy's frosty grey eyes suggested that this wasn't a negotiation. "Of course," said the Princess. "I expect that this garrison will be at my call to keep the peace. Since I won't be able to keep crime in control, they'll have to do it." Billy's face went hot. This girl was already sharper than her predecessor. "Of course," the hero rumbled.

Spinning on her heel, the young princess said, "then I expect you will attend my council in the morning, Captain." And she went up into the palace with her family at her back, leaving a frustrated Billy staring at the door where she'd gone. "Well, that was special," muttered Star. "Yeah," sighed Billy. "That didn't go quite how I expected." Chuckling, the wood-nymph wonder said, "we got what we wanted, big brother. Let's get lard-ass here squared away and get some rest. Billy could certainly agree with that.

The pair marched Yolanda to the edge of town and handed her over to the small garrison that their father intended to leave here. Their two observers met them there, bringing in the rest of the army. Noemi seemed actually astonished at how well things had gone–almost as if she'd been expecting massive bloodshed to eclipse what had happened earlier. Abeiuwa seemed _satisfied_. She wore a strangely _satisfied_ look on her pretty face.

"Well," said Abeiuwa, as the pair approached the two generals. "You seem to have delivered us a victory..." Much as he always did, Billy took a stab at trying to figure out what was going through the older woman's mind, but, much as she'd always been, the Jungle Princess's face was inscrutable. She could be like his dad sometimes. Coolly, the proud princess declared, "I'm pleased that you are not perished." Which sounded perilously like she gave a damn. He wasn't quite sure what to make of that. Abeiuwa had been difficult to read _before_ Wildberry's treachery. Just now, he might have tried reading a statue for all the good it did him. Billy said, "I'm just glad we wrapped this up. We can get some food in here, get the people of the city fed, and we can turn our attention east to Wildberry." That did earn a smile. "Yes," said Abeiuwa, as she turned to go. "I have treachers to deal with."

Plural.

Billy took hold of her wrist, and she turned a glare on him. "This isn't Oreva's fault," Billy reminded her. Nodding, Abeiuwa replied, "but we both know that his chances of retaining his own mind are practically nil, William. We two _barely_ survived. Only your father's gift and blind luck allowed us to escape with our minds. Oreva's been her slave for _weeks_..." Billy's eyes fell to the floor. She was writing her husband off, and he couldn't say she was wrong. Honestly, she was doing just what a ruler was _supposed_ to do. Hadn't Cherry told him that. They were at _war_ , and they didn't have time for emotional flights of fancy. The big man let go the princess's arm, and she strode off into the darkness.

With a heavy sigh, Billy turned his attention to the matter of consolidating their victory. That occupied him off and on for _hours_. He saw little of Abeiuwa, though, strangely, Noemi was again underfoot, hanging around conspicuously wherever he was. Finally, near one in the morning, the young hero headed to his own quarters, anxious to seek his own rest. Abeiuwa had gone to bed more than an hour before after washing the stink of the battlefield off her body. Billy hadn't had time for the luxury.

Striding into the room he'd been given, the big man was a little startled to hear the shower going. Puzzled–and wondering if he'd gotten the wrong room–the young hero headed for the bedroom. Inside, he was immediately arrested by a strange scent. It was familiar, but he couldn't quite place it. The door to the bathroom opened just then, revealing Noemi's nude form. "William," she greeted him. Billy's jaw hung agape. Ragnhild would kill him if she saw this woman here. For some reason the two were feuding, and he feared the Purple Princess was upping the stakes.

Smiling sweetly, Noemi adjusted the dose a little as she said, "come along, William. I've run the shower for you..." Almost of their own will, Billy's feet began to move as an overwhelming hunger filled him. The hunger rose until it blocked out most everything else. He loved Rags, but he was Finn's son. He liked him some curves and some boobies. He followed the older woman into the bath, shedding equipment and clothing as he went.

The minute he entered the bath, Noemi turned and began to _help_ by the expedient of tearing off his undershirt so she could get to grips with that hard body. It was like the old days, when she had her _pick_ of hard, hunky men. She'd fucked a lot of other women's husbands in her day, and there were a few countesses who never let their counts come anywhere near her court. Unfortunately, as she'd gotten older, no dose of pheremone seemed strong enough to win her a plaything, much less a mate. At least until she'd stumbled across _this_.

Billy grabbed a double handful of her heavy boobies, hefting them and stroking them with his rough hands. His thumbs pressed in against the hard tips, sending a chill through her. Yes, he was much less robotic this time. Leaning in, he caught her lips with his and practically tried to devour them. His hands continued to toy with those big knockers, squeezing her tender flesh until she squealed. He stepped back from her when she did that, and, for a moment, it looked like he might realize what he was doing. But then, before she could hit him with another dose, the big man caught her shoulders and dragged her into the shower, where he proceeded to shove her down on her knees. Hefting those pert, plump boobies, he slipped his fat dick between them. Noemi quickly realized what he wanted, and she squeezed her knobs around his meat as he began to fuck against them.

The warm, moist heat of the shower lubed her soft skin as his thickness glided between her fat knobs faster and faster and then faster still. The Purple Princess leaned down and tried to catch his fat tip with her mouth, succeeding mostly in licking him. Head thrown back, he groaned in pleasure at the feel of that. She'd never let a man do anything like _this_ to her. She was a princess! But when he pushed her face towards his pecker, a twisted corner of her mind was hungry to try it. Each time he pressed the fat rod between her knobs, she sucked hard on his tip. His hands tangled in her hair, he hunched upwards at her face. Finally, with a groan of release, he shot his load all over her face and boobies.

For a moment, he stood there breathing. In. Out. Her special _perfume_ wasn't as effective in the moist air of the shower, and she feared he'd snap out of it. After a moment, though, he jerked her to her feet, spun her around, and pushed her up against the shower door. The big man jerked her thighs apart, slipping his fat pecker up between them. "Oooo," she wailed, as she felt him enter. It was a side of him that belied the quiet demeanor he showed the world. Deep inside, he was an _animal_. His rough hands returned to her boobies, and he even scooped some of his nasty sauce off them and pressed his nasty finger into her mouth. She was turned on. She was turned on like never before. The first climax of many came on fast and strong. Billy clenched his rough hands around her boobies and held on against the feel of her orgasm. And then he began to claim her again, just as rough as before.

It was two in the morning, and the Muscle Palace was quiet as Abeiuwa made her way through the twists and turns of the palace's hallways. If you'd asked her what she was doing, she would have been pressed to be honest about it. She was compounding the sin. Honestly, she knew that was what she was doing. A voice kept reminding her though. She was alone. Her husband was gone. Oreva was gone, and he wasn't coming back to her. But she had this. This young man obviously cared for her. He'd cared for her _before_ the terrible news, and he continued to care after. A woman could do worse. That was what the voice said. She could do far worse than William Mertens.

He'd told her which room he was taking, admonishing her to come by if she needed him. He'd meant it for sake of their child, but she needed something else right now. Approaching the door, she thought of what she would say. She thought of how he might react. Her mind conjured answers for the myriad of things he could say to reject her. They were already intimate. They had a child. How could Ragnhild deny the mother of one of his children? As her hand reached for the door, noise from beyond stopped her. Was that?

The tall princess put her ear to the door, and she could clearly hear her colleague's voice. Except this wasn't Ragnhild. The Froyo Princess was in the Candy Kingdom–safe with her sons. Noemi howled, "ooooh, W-william... Oh, Billy... you're so deeeeeep!" Face gone hot, Abeiuwa darted back from the door. Was he? Why would he? She found herself come full circle. She would be _damned_ if she would tolerate such antics. She wasn't going to be a plaything! She wouldn't put up with him thinking he could keep a dozen sluts in his bed! Angry, the proud princess stormed off down the hall, leaving behind a dazed Billy, who was, just now, doing something he was sure he ought not to be doing. It was just that he seemed helpless to stop himself.

 **Blargetha and Yolanda are out of the fight. Just Maja and Wildberry left.**

 **And the Dipped. :)**


	43. Chapter 43

Chapter 43:

"You're a fool, little brother," muttered the Flame King. "You're a fool if you think those _things_ won't betray you... And you're a bigger fool to think you'll stay on that throne." That last was something new. She'd been ragging on him off and on since being brought to his sanctum. Mostly she sat in her prison with her disgusting spawn in silent fury, occasionally lapsing into bouts of insults. Flint typically ignored her. She mattered very little to his plans. When the undead had finished off the waterbags, he would be undisputed master of all. Then he would exile Phoebe and her filthy spawn to the frontier where the Devourer's dreadful influence would handle his ugly problem in a few years' time.

Today, the feisty little bitch had his interest with that bold statement. Flint chuckled drily. Striding across the room, he stood over her, his countenance dreadful and his demeanor terrifying. He'd already made an ugly example of their pathetic, sneak-thieving cousin, Furnius, by tearing his arm off and beating out his rather sparse brains. Now Torcho cowered in terror, begging to be spared. "I could just kill you," he growled. "Not on your best day, Flint," Phoebe retorted. "Don't get too used to my chair. You won't be sitting there long..." With that, she turned her back on him.

He felt rage rising. He wanted to kill her bastard to punish her. He wanted to make his sister know pain. Except. Deep, deep down, in a corner of his heart where he feared to look, Flint knew she was right. If he ever let himself look past his pride, he knew that Phoebe could slaughter him with ease. A sliver of honesty inside him knew that he was safe only so long as Cole and Ember remained children. If ever there came a time where their lives were no longer at stake, Phoebe would dispatch him as easily as she killed their father. Humiliated, he stormed out of his own sanctum.

Meanwhile, in the Candy Kingdom, Billy the Human was giving his two boys a kiss goodbye. "Take your time, baby," Ragnhild admonished him. He'd gotten little rest after having been poisoned. Much like Finn, he was in real danger of being used up, and she was a little afraid of that. Honestly, she understood Simone quite a bit now. The big man gave his beautiful wife a kiss and a pinch on her round bottom. With a squeak of surprise, she scooted out the door, bound for the nursery. Still smiling, Billy went back into their bedroom and started gathering up his equipment. They'd be heading out today. One way or another, they were going to throw down with Maja and put a stop to the war.

While he was about that, there came a knocking at the door. Moving to the door, the big man pulled it open, expecting to find his wife there. Busy as she was, Ragnhild sometimes forgot odds and ends she needed. They both did. Instead, he found Abeiuwa, looking dapper in a leopard-spotted dress that hung by one thin strap from her shoulder. Billy found his face went hot at the sight of her. Yes, she was a very beautiful lady. Oreva was–had been–a lucky man. He was trying to get himself used to that. Oreva was gone. She'd said so herself. "Hey," he greeted her.

Abeiuwa brushed past him, all but barging into his suite. A little surprised, Billy shut the door and stood there staring at her. Her eyes burned into his, and he found himself growing a little uncomfortable. "Uh...," he said. "You want to talk, right?" As she opened her mouth to make the dangerous appeal that had been dancing on her tongue, there came a second knock on his door. Frowning in puzzlement, Billy opened the door, expecting to see Ragnhild for sure this time. As his eyes caught sight of the figure in the hall, a strange scent overwhelmed his senses. In short order, he was standing aside, his face blank, as Noemi the Purple Princess came through the door.

"You," snapped Abeiuwa. "What're you doing here?" "I could ask you the same," replied Noemi. Face gone hot, the Jungle Princess retorted, "he is the father of my child." "You must really have liked it," laughed the nasty grape. As her hand went to the knife that she was never without, Abeiuwa snarled, "how dare you?" "William," said Noemi in airy tones. "Be a dear and put the trash out." The big man hesitated a moment. "Hmm," said Noemi, as she adjusted the dose. When she turned back to face her rival, the tall woman's eyes were just as glazed as the boy's. "Well...," burbled the plump princess. "This could be entertaining." She'd never seen a _woman_ ensnared by her pheremones before. "Why don't you kneel," suggested Noemi? Blankly, Abeiuwa did just that. Yes, this could be _very_ interesting.

Outside, the fallen ruler of the Breakfast Kingdom walked into the empty garden where she'd spent many unhappy hours these past few weeks to find her sisters and daughter waiting. Frenchie had her little boy on one hip and the bag with his things on the other. Toast was teasing her grand-nephew for the joy of watching him giggle, and Strudel was filing her nails, looking bored as can be. "I imagine you're wondering why I called this gathering," said Breakfast. Yawning in boredom, Strudel retorted, "to figure out who's going to be in charge of course..."

Fanning herself, the youngest sister said, "you talk in your sleep, sister... I gotta' believe Flamande knew all about you cheating..." Breakfast's face went red-hot, not least because she was now sharing her boyfriend with her much-younger sister. Strudel had watched as she and Finn got it on. Toast was now looking at the pair with interest, possibly born out of desire for the throne and possibly for other reasons. Frenchie piped up with, "I don't want it, momma." Glancing away, she said, "I'm an airhead, momma. As one airhead to another, our people deserve better..." She'd known exactly what this was about when she got the invitation. Her mother knew that there was no way for her to retain the throne. She'd hoped to steer it to Frenchie, but the younger woman wanted nothing to do with it.

Pointing her nail-file at Breakfast, Strudel said, "I'll pay the pair of you a stipend. You, Breakfast, move out, and you only come back to visit." It was hard bargaining, and the eldest sister nearly got to shouting. Toast sighed, "ok... I was going away, anyway..." Alarmed, the other two sisters began to argue with her. Showing that her earlier flash of wisdom wasn't a fluke, Frenchie interrupted with, "good, aunt Toast. You can step in as my stepfather's Minister for Sustenance. Mummy's rotten at that too..." She extolled the virtues of the job just as her mother had–lots of travel on airships to far locales, good food to eat, and lots of boys. Blushing a little, Toast nonetheless nodded. Frenchie gave her mother an indulgent smile, saying, "I'm sure stepfather could use a secretary..." " _Sex_ retary," teased Toast. It was a massive, pride-stinging step down from her previous lofty position. At the same time, Breakfast had never really liked the responsibility that came with running a Kingdom. "Alright," she sighed.

Meanwhile, Ragnhild went straight upstairs to the nursery and dropped off the boys with Drew. Coming back downstairs, she went into the council chamber and straight to her seat. Cherry had the floor, and she was involved in a meticulous rundown of every scrap of information pulled from Orzsebet's terror. She had an extensive list. The Agent Princess had been a naughty girl these last few months.

The patriarch of their mad little family sat absorbing all she told them with a face that was unreadable. Ragnhild found her old beau had become an enigma. He was becoming a colder, _harder_ specimen of manhood. The Froyo Princess feared he was becoming something awful. She'd sometimes felt like a loser when Finn married Simone. Now she was luckiest gal on the planet, and she feared ever seeing her sweet William go down the dark, lonely road his father now walked.

Cherry's presentation went over an hour, as Finn, Bonnie, and Simone all peppered her with questions. When she sat down at last, Finn's cabinet moved on to discussion of their next moves. They were down at the most dangerous part of the business. Wildberry and Maja were isolated but not beaten. They were still a threat to the peace. It was time and past time to get the pair of them shut down permanently. Finn took the floor, and he slowly talked them through a strategy for beating Maja and her pet monster. Trouble was, two of the critical people were still absent. Ragnhild had expected Billy to show during Cherry's report and to already be here, but neither had arrived. That was a problem because they both had central parts to play.

During a lull, Ragnhild rose to go see what was keeping her husband. Sarah, strangely enough, volunteered to tag along. The android woman was all smiles as she padded down the hall alongside the Froyo Princess. She had a host of innocuous topics to discuss as the pair made their way upstairs to where the various members of the Royal Family lay their heads each night. Everything from the fact that half of Finn's kids seemed to be trying to get up and walk and get about their room to the talk of Star's possible wedding.

Ragnhild, with her mind going a half dozen directions at once, wasn't hard to distract. She didn't really want to be worrying that Billy was having some kind of nasty relapse after all. He had become her world, and she wasn't sure what she'd do if that happened. On her side, the android woman had her own ugly suspicions about why Billy might be tardy. She just hoped to head off the ugly fireworks before this whole thing blew up on them.

As they approached the room the Froyo Princess had been sharing with Billy, Sarah's ears picked out the unpleasant sounds coming from within long before the princess did, confirming her suspicions. She immediately started trying to deflect Ragnhild, suggesting that maybe she ought to go back to the council chambers. "We're almost there," Ragnhild replied. "Why would I go back now?" In airy tones Sarah suggested that Ragnhild had far more to do than _she_ did. It only made sense for her to search for Bill.

Unfortunately that was when they both heard Noemi's unholy shriek of pleasure. It didn't take much for Ragnhild to realize that Bonnie's artificial double would likely have heard those noises before she did. Now Ragnhild rushed ahead, throwing the door open on a shocking scene. If you'd asked the Froyo Princess what she'd find in her quarters, seeing her husband banging the shit out of Noemi the Purple Princess was far down the list. The nasty bitch was on top of her man, riding him like a bucking horse. And that wasn't the last shock either. Kneeling on the floor beside the couch, eyes glazed over by fuck-lust, Abeiuwa was playing with herself, running a pair of fingers in and out of her hot snatch as she watched.

Sarah caught her shoulder, saying, "don't be hasty, Ragnhild. Bill..." Far from attacking her husband, Ragnhild went straight after Noemi. The tall princess began slapping the shit out of her colleague, screaming and shrieking at her. Noemi jumped up, and the Froyo Princess began chasing her around the room. Sarah stepped into the room and got between the two women. As bedlam reigned, a dazed Billy and Abeiuwa shook off the trance they'd been under. And then it very nearly became murder as the Jungle Princess drew a knife and tried to stab Noemi with it. In the melee, Sarah's hands got slashed to ribbons as she tried to keep the raging warrior-princess at bay.

An hour later, Billy sat himself in one of the chairs in the palace infirmary while Drew fussed over Sarah's gashed and bleeding hands. He was still a little foggy, but he had gotten quite an earful from both Ragnhild and Abeiuwa about what had been going on. That jogged other memories, and now he wanted to know what the hell had happened to him. "Okay," muttered Billy, "I'm pretty sure this has happened before, but my memories are blurry..."

Drew sighed heavily. She was out of her depth on this. Sarah piped up with, "you still have elevated levels of Wildberry's toxins. Your brain is healing, Bill, but it's taking a while. That's what's causing you to go foggy. For the rest... I'm afraid you've become chemically bonded to Noemi..." The big man shot to his feet, his face a study in abject shock. Sarah's face was calm as anything, though, and that helped him find his center. After all, if she could sit there with her hands dripping blood on the floor and be calm through all of it, he could do no less–or _tried_ to. "It was there in the interplay of her pheremones and Wildberry's toxins," said the android woman. "The toxins are amplifying her hold on you. I... don't know if that gets better..."

Blushing furiously, Billy asked, "and Abeiuwa?" Flushing in memory, his stepmom replied, "she's got it too. You both do. There's... more..." Bill frowned. What else could there be? It hardly seemed this could get worse. With a heavy-hearted sigh, Sarah said, "I think you're also bound to Abeiuwa..." The big man's jaw hit the floor once more. He now knew about the strange aphrodisiac that had deflected him from murder. Now he was shocked and appalled all over again. Grabbing at his head, the young hero found himself raking his fingers through his hair and pulling at his scalp in shock and concern. This was a nightmare!

Done bandaging the android's injured hands, Drew said, "there's got to be a way to break this addiction. I'll get started on a chemical workup. I want to see what I'm dealing with." Billy flushed as she reached for the syringe. He knew instinctively what _that_ meant. Sarah climbed down from the examination table as the doctor prepared to draw blood. Coolly, Drew said, "you may be an artificial person..." "I know the drill," sighed Sarah. "Keep the wounds clean and stay out of trouble." Drew eased the needle into Billy's arm with the skill of long practice. After draining a little blood, she sent him on his way too.

With the council meeting already long concluded, Billy headed straight for the garden. Ragnhild would usually be there this time of day with the boys. Part of him would have apologized–really begged forgiveness–but they were past that now. It was time to man up, get in front of this trainwreck, and steer it. He would have to marry Abeiuwa. He'd become certain of that. It would be an ugly _distraction_ for her kingdom if he didn't. He just wasn't sure what to do about Noemi. He was vulnerable to her antics as long as they both lived, and he feared she'd always be trying to take him away from Ragnhild

Up ahead, matters were already going off the rails fast. Ragnhild had gone to the garden to wait for her husband–without the boys–intending to just talk this thing through. Abeiuwa had shown up, asking to talk about their joint problem. Ragnhild hadn't been quite sure what to make of that, but she'd gotten little time to ponder it. Following the Jungle Princess, Noemi had shown up and barged right in, inciting an ugly argument. She'd gone right at the pair of them, telling them how things were going to go and precipitating an ugly row that could be heard across the palace.

"I could just take him," growled Noemi! "He's bonded to me, and if I wanted, I could just take him! I'm being _generous_ even allowing him to see you at all!" Abeiuwa cursed her. The Purple Princess chuckled, "and what do you have to say, drippy-drawers?" Ragnhild smelled a soft, subtle scent, and Abeiuwa's eyes momentarily glazed. That was all it took. Shaking off that influence, the Jungle Princess leaped on Noemi, knocked her to the ground, and she was reaching for her knife when Billy came onto the scene. "Abeiuwa," he snapped! "Get off her!" The raging princess stopped where she was, knife poised at Noemi's throat.

Billy strode up and jerked Abeiuwa off the plump woman. When she might have fought him, he slapped her straight across the face, shouting, "I said to get off her!" It was one of those flashes of temper that Ragnhild sometimes saw when she pushed too far. Her husband was beyond shock and despair and back firmly in control of himself and his emotions, and the Froyo Princess felt a chill at that realization. Abeiuwa jumped back like a scalded cat, shocked herself.

As Noemi gathered herself to her feet, Billy grabbed her by the hair and shook her, shouting, "what the fuck do you think gives you the right to do that to me or her or anybody else?!" He could smell the soft scent of her trying her pheromones on him, and he slapped her so hard, _Ragnhild_ felt it. The proud princess gave him a hateful look, but Billy gave it right back, saying, "I've spoken to my father, and we are prepared to lock you up for what you've done. You've behaved as badly as Wildberry. I'm tempted to beat your ass myself!"

Noemi's face contorted in shock and terror. "B-but, W-william," she stammered. "I-I... saved your life." "And I'm thanking you," Billy retorted, "by not pressing charges or having you exiled from the Court." The plump woman seemed absolutely shocked that he would do that to her. Her eyes held calculation, as she began to climb to her feet once more. Coldly, Billy told her, "it's been left to me as the wronged party to decide what to do with you, so I'd be very careful what you do from now on..."

Turning to his wife and the mother of his accidental child, he said, "you two have a decision to make. We're in a bind. I can't leave Ragnhild... I _won't_ leave her, but Jungle Kingdom can't have baby-daddy trouble. I'll be back in a few days..." And just like that, he started walking. Noemi called out to him, but he ignored her. There was work to be done. Gathering up his equipment, the big man hopped a ride down to the airfield to find his father waiting on him. When Finn might have brought up Billy's little problem, the younger man told him, "I'm gonna' need that advice, dad. Later. Now... It's a distraction. Let's get busy."

Ooo's heroes boarded an airship and headed out into the no-man's land that had been the breadbasket of Bonnie's kingdom. Fionna had already marched out with the army, swinging south to meet them at the approaches to Wildberry Kingdom. Finn and Billy, together with most of the family's most powerful wizards, joined up with her as the sun rose the following morning. After a short strategy session and a shorter breakfast, the Army of Ooo moved out to confront the last rebel princess.

The plan was a simple one on the surface. They were going to push the boundaries of Wildberry Kingdom and force a fight. Since Maja and Wildberry seemed like they weren't going to come out and do battle, the King of Ooo wanted to force them to commit. Most importantly, he wanted to draw Maja into deploying the Bear. That was the key to all of this. It was why Billy, Betty, Patrick, and Simone were all in reserve, while the King himself was going to be front and center. He and Fionna were going to rip up the Berry Guard and terrorize Wildberry. Finn thought that, shortly after, he'd have the Bear coming out to play. That would be the cue for the wizards to join the fight.

It was a solid plan, but Billy saw trouble–not least because of his own distraction. His mind was occupied. It was occupied by five faces and a sixth that was as yet unseen. His mind was with his sons and Ragnhild, and it was occupied by Abeiuwa, their child, and Noemi's awful behavior. He was bonded to her. Much like his father was bonded to Emeraude, he was bonded to Noemi. He was even bonded to Abeiuwa too for that matter, making him doubly screwed. He hadn't wanted this, and he still didn't. He wanted to be a rather normal man with a conventional marriage and a decent family. He'd found that with Ragnhild, but circumstances the last year or so had conspired to take away that happiness again and again.

He'd laughed at Ragnhild's assertions that his father was being a shit. He'd quite simply asked her who she thought was really in control. Now he knew that hell far more intimately than he would ever have wanted. He wasn't in control of this. He would be an emotional mess if he dumped Noemi. He was, quite literally, addicted to her. A part of him had all but fallen in love with Abeiuwa. Even beyond the neurochemical problems, she was the mother of one of his kids, and he'd become... attached to her. "Movement at the front," announced his phone. His dad's voice. Wildberry was making her move. His time for wool-gathering and worrying at his problems was over. It was time to throw down once more–double-or-nothing, hero-or-zero.

On the far side of the field, the bad berry herself stood arguing with her supposed ally. They had spent a rough night, arguing off and on about courses of action. Blargetha's fall had sent their plan careening off the rails fast. She was supposed to be their hole-card. She was supposed to tie up the King of Ooo and bog down his army so that they could move in with the Bear when he was committed. Instead, the dumb-bitch had managed to get herself and her army captured. They were alone. Bathilde was holed up in her palace, drinking herself to death and waiting on the end. They had nothing. Just themselves. And Wildberry was wise enough to know that Maja had no intentions of dieing here herself. She didn't have a kingdom to fight for.

"I don't understand," muttered the evil princess. Maja rolled her eyes. They'd been over this before. "Finn's faster than anything in creation," the witch reminded her. "And the Bear's soul-crystal is vulnerable in his chest-cavity..." That was how she'd lost Darren. Finn had used the War-Elephant to slip in and smash the Sleeper's soul-crystal, killing him instantly. She had the War-Elephant now, but Finn was fast enough that he might literally be able to run up Adler's leg to reach his chest. Her only hope was to pin him down and surprise him. Trick was that those fucking wizards were out there, somewhere, and they were dangerous too. She had some ideas on how to tackle them, but she didn't dare spring her trap too early. They were only going to get one chance at this.

"Your troops will fight to the death," Maja reminded her. "Between your special spores and their own fears, they don't have a choice. That will negate some of his advantage. I have a special surprise in store for his wizard-friends. You just press, dearie. Press hard. We won't get another shot." Wildberry nodded, but she was clearly unhappy. Shaking her head and muttering curses, she climbed atop the massive beast that was going to carry her into the fight and set out.

Watching her ally go, Maja sighed heavily. This was it. She could only see failure looming before her. With flesh that would literally have burned Finn to death on contact, the Fire Bleeder had been her best chance, and she'd lost her shot at it. It was quite likely that many of the seals were covered by collapsed tunnels, and she'd never have the space to dig them up, let alone go through the sequence of resetting them and then breaking them in the correct order. Adler the Bear was dangerous, but he wasn't fast enough. He'd never be fast enough. She saw her death writ large here on this field. Nothing had worked. Not her power. Not her feminine wiles. Nothing. Now she _longed_ for the safety and comfort of her endless dream.

The Berry Guard marched slowly into position in neat, orderly ranks. They came forward in dignified response to the enemy threatening their land. Finn, who had fought alongside the Berry Guard, knew them as some of Ooo's fiercest and most effective troops. And still his mind was far away. He discounted these men out of hand. They were impotent, and they scarcely knew it. His mind was on Maja. She was lurking out there with a monster that could meld itself into the earth, cause earthquakes, and smash small village with a swipe of its massive paws. _Tough times, Finn,_ he thought.

Far to the east, on the far side of Wildberry's Kingdom, events were in motion that would make his current dire straits seem like a dream. Bathilde the Elbownian had spent the last few days at the bottom of a bottle of Plum Schnaps. She had put her neck on the block. Finn was going to kill her. She'd lined herself up against Finn the Fucking Unstoppable Force of Nature, like a hundred robber-barons before her. Soon he'd be here to make her pay. If she was lucky, she'd just be fucking killed out of hand. If she was unlucky, she'd die in some humiliating or unpleasant way.

The homely princess was considering sending down to the wine cellar for more schnaps when her Prime Minister burst in. "Your Highness," he shouted! "Your Highness! There's an invasion!" Terror filling her heart, the princess whirled around to face him and nearly fell flat from alcohol-induced dizzness. She did end up puking on him. As he wiped at the mess, he told her, "hundreds of shadow-monsters have crossed the border to our east! Th-they're slaughtering everything in their path! Things they touch simply dissolve, and they're even killing the _trees_!"

Bathilde's heart skipped a beat. Dipped. Her Minister was describing Dipped. Finn had spent months chasing down the Lich's dogs. Until Wildberry's games had all but dragged him home. He'd slaughtered hundreds, but it only took a few to reconstitute their terrible army. She felt like a fool. Instead of chasing down rumors of these awful creatures, Finn had been tied up–with them. The Prime Minister was urging her to flee, and she knew he was right. They had to get their people out of here! Rushing to the window, the princess stared out across her beloved city and into the distance. They had stone walls. Stone walls could stop them. Stone didn't decay and age. Not like wood. She could only pray it would buy her enough time.

Back on the Berry Kingdom's border, Finn the Human stood waiting as the packed ranks of the Berry Guard came calling. Beside him, Fionna stood frowning in puzzlement. "What's up," he asked? "Something's here, father," she told him. "Something's disrupting my control over the local silica formations." "The Bear," he murmured. That was what she felt. It had to be. The Great Bear of the North could 'swim' if you could call it that through the earth like he was swimming in the river. Before he could even ask, Fionna turned and pointed at a low hill to the north and west. "Relay that," he said.

Fionna reached for her phone, preparing to send the message that would help them end this catastrophe of a war. Finn prepared to wrap things up by taking the fight straight to Wildberry. He was prepared to kill her. He was prepared in his heart of hearts to cut her guts out at one passing and kill her. He hadn't wanted to do that, but he felt it was time now. The time for being a squish was over. The world hung in the balance. His eyes scanned the ranks, looking for the troops that would be concentrated around his foe. She would have to be here for this. She wouldn't want to leave the fate of her kingdom in the hands of a deputy. Indeed, judging by the glazed expressions of some of their foes, she was in rather intimate control right now.

As Fionna relayed the location of the Bear, Finn's keen eyes locked on a site in the depths of the enemy formation. They were there, surrounded by a buffer of heavily armored beasts. And in their center, riding on a massive, elephantine beast herself, was Bonnie's nemesis. As his daughter turned back to him to let him know she'd passed the message, Finn _leaped_.

The troops were stunned when the powerful warrior all but materialized in their midst. Before most of them could even blink, he was slicing the legs out from under the heavily armored war-beast, sending the crippled brute crashing to the ground in a thunderous noise of clashing metal and shattered bones. As the beast trumpeted its death, Finn was on the diminutive beauty that had been riding atop it. "Nice try, Finn," said Wildberry. Finn turned around to find the evil princess staring at him from nearby. She'd been dressed like a common soldier. "Clone," he rumbled. "Yeah," she chuckled. "Guess you're still dumb as a post, nanobots or not." He could smell the deadly _perfume_ she came equipped with. "Bow-down," she told him. "Worship me."

Finn stepped forward, looking as if he would do just that. The bad berry smirked. Maja had been utterly terrified of him. "Kiss my toes," she told him. Instead, he punched her square in the jaw, knocking her flat on her back. As the bad berry lay there moaning in shock, the big man tore through her bodyguards, rending them into gobbets of meat. As she sat up in pain, the big man growled, "call Maja! Tell her to call this off!" In petulant tones, Wildberry shot back, "she doesn't answer to me!" Indeed, rumbling under the ground suggested she was playing her own cards just now. The shaking grew in intensity as Finn stared at the distant hill that Fionna had pegged. He could see figures floating over it. _Under the hill, Finn,_ he thought. Fionna had pointed _at_ the hill, but that didn't mean the Bear was actually the hill. "She's going to kill them," said Wildberry, as she licked her split lip to savor the taste of her own blood.

Just then, Wildberry's phone rang. Finn saw that it was Bathilde. He pitched it at the bad berry, snarling, "answer!" "Make me," she retorted! The phone rang and rang, as the big man tried to decide just how far he was willing to go. He'd intended to kill her. Did he stoop to torture? Did he torture one of his oldest friends? Wildberry's phone ceased to ring. Before he could consider what that meant, his own phone began to ring. Snatching it out, he was a little surprised to find that Bathilde was now calling _him_. Flicking the phone, he snarled, "go!"

Instead of a gloating, vindictive bitch, he got a terrified woman who was clearly having trouble stringing together a complete sentence. He barely understood a handful of the words she had to say. One thing was crystal clear though. Dipped. There were Dipped in Elbow Kingdom. "The Dipped are destroying Elbow Kingdom," said Finn. Wildberry laughed in his face. Instead of kicking the shit out of her, the big man dialed the number he'd taken from Orzsebet's phone. "C'mon," he muttered. "I know you're out there. Answer me, dammit."

"Finn," Maja murmured. "If you've called to negotiate, don't bother..." The big man cut her off with, "the Lich's minions are sacking Bathilde's kingdom. They're killing everything in sight, and they're headed this way. I recommend we postpone this pointless feud..." He heard muttered curses from the phone. "You know I'm not lieing, M," he told her. "Yeah, Finn," she sighed. "What do you want to do?" "Let's meet," he said. "Two hours after we've got all the troops off the field. I'll send my guys west. You head north." "Fine," snarled the witch, as she hung up on him. Turning to face Wildberry, he found her laying on the ground, drooling like an idiot. Finn muttered curses. Another clone. She'd never been here at all.

It took the better part of the day to disentangle the two warring armies. Finn and his son did much of the work simply because Wildberry had fled and Maja seemed uninterested in helping. The whole business took on a note of desperation as Bathilde's calls became ever more desperate and the first calls from the borders of Wildberry Kingdom began to trickle in. Indeed many of the Berry Guard went rushing home to stave off the ensuing catastrophe.

As the day drew to a close, Finn found himself standing in an open field watching as his lover and enemy walked slowly towards him. She was the same. That was what his overwrought mind focused on. Maja was still the gloriously sexy woman who'd tried to seduce him into betraying everything he loved. Face unreadable, he imagined she intimidated his friends and family. Old and steeped in evil, she predated many of Ooo's current powers. Her ambitions beggared most, and she had power to get her way.

All that filtered through the King's mind as she stopped before him. He could sense Simone and Betty gathering themselves. Coolly, he greeted her with, "Maja..." "Finn," she stiffly replied. "The Dipped have sacked Elbow Kingdom and stormed the capitol. From Bathilde's calls, I know they've got thousands in their ranks and possibly other weapons as well..." He paused to hear her reply and found himself waiting awhile. Finally she responded with, "what do you want to do...?" She hardly sounded like an enthusiastic ally.

"Truce," suggested Finn. Maja stared him straight in the eye, and he could see the calculation there. How could she use this? How could she use the terrible power of the undead ravaging Wilberry and Elbow Kingdom to her advantage? She still wanted the world. She still wanted power. Recognizing what she was thinking, Finn calmly told her, "they don't want power, Maja. They want the world to die. Every. Living. Thing. They will accept no partner. They won't give you time and space to conduct your experiments. They're simply going to kill you at the first chance they get. Every word a Dipped speaks is either a lie or an enticement to just lay down and surrender to death."

Teeth gritting, she declared, "truce, Finn, but know this. I will kill you when I have my chance." "Fair enough, Maja," he replied. "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." Her face went red hot. Then, without a further word, she stormed off. Finn was left with his wives, son, and daughter. Betty let out an anguished sob. When Finn turned to face her, she said, "I-I thought they were gone. I was sure there were no more." "We both were," Finn reminded her. "The real problem here's Maja and Wildberry," said Simone. "If they hadn't meddled and done their best to carry on this stupid war, we would have found out about this sooner."

There was no time for recriminations and might-have-beens. It was time to get busy, throw down, and clean up the disaster. "Fi, I need you and Nadia to get the new Tesla machine set up here on the plain. It's urgent. This is our best chance of stopping their advance. Betty? Talia knows you. Get on an airship and get out to Talia's place. See if you can get her help. Simone and Patrick, start gathering up every soldier we can lay hands on. Hit E's place and gather up wizards. I'm not taking 'no' this time." Fionna asked the question that was on everybody's mind. "Where will you be, father," she burbled? "Billy and me... we're going into hell," the big man answered. "The Dipped will hit Wildberry Kingdom next. They're already on the borders. Belle and Hurletta are in the dungeon in Wildberry's palace. We've got one chance to save them before the Dipped get there."

Without a further word, the pair got moving. There was a Grid-Face Person airship waiting for Finn back behind the lines. They left their people in turmoil. Betty looked as though she were going to lose it any moment. Simone had things well in hand, though. Their place was to back Finn. Their family–indeed their whole world–was at stake. Taking her mother by the arm, she told Fionna, "you and momma get out of here. Get to the Grey Forest. Nadia should be there by now." The busty princess would have an airship that Betty could use to seek out the enigmatic Baba Yaga. Fionna grabbed her grandma by the arm, saying, "got this, mom." And she half-dragged Betty away.

Back in the Candy Kingdom, the Angel woke from a vivid dream of fire and brimstone. She'd dialed back a lot of her participation in matters, feigning exhaustion. Nobody begrudged her the rest. That was the nature of the Family, as Star had come to call Finn's conglomeration of brides and children. The truth of the matter was that she could sense the looming darkness sweeping the land, and she often felt the call to enact a little darkness of her own. She knew the feeling intimately. The voice was with her almost constantly now, urging her on towards treacherous acts. Now, as the woman known as Ingrid sat on the edge of her bed, staring into the darkness, whispers of thought came to mind, unbidden. _Go to the ghoul's apartment, my Angel,_ whispered the voice. _You know what you need to do._

Ingrid had commanded Kurja to bring his troops in out of the wilderness. She'd asked him to camp them out in the no-man's land beyond the Tesla Barrier. They should be there now, ready and waiting for her call. All she needed to do was order the Barrier lowered. As War Minister, she had that authority. She didn't even need to do it for very long. The ghouls would overrun the Candy Kingdom in short order. Finn's wives–his children–they would be dead long before he could get home to save them.

Rising, the princess completed the briefest of ablutions before getting herself dressed. Slipping down the backstairs, she did her best to read the feel of the place. It was important not to be seen. If she was seen, she would be explaining where she was going, and there was no time for that. _Just kill them,_ the voice told her. _They'll be gone soon anyway._ Ingrid said nothing to that as she continued to scan. The doctor and the model were upstairs, looking after the babies. The crime lord was downstairs in her hole, doing whatever dirty deeds she did. The princesses were, as always, debating the finer points of their power-games. Fortunately the machine wasn't here today. The machine was a dangerous anomaly–something neither living nor unliving. It amused the voice to ponder what 'Sarah' would do alone on a world with no living things.

Climbing behind the wheel of the car she'd only just learned to drive, Ingrid slowly set out, her mind going over the things she needed to do. She'd have to go personally out to the Tesla Barrier, but she'd have to delay the trip until the last possible moment. She didn't need anybody guessing what she was doing. _They trusted you,_ the voice reminded her. _Doesn't it kind of defeat the purpose of trying to buy back your soul from the Dark Lord if you use treachery to do it?_ It was a disturbing dichotomy that sort of suggested she was wasting her time on this and digging the hole deeper. But she was committed. What else was she going to do?

Arriving at the seedy old hotel that Kurja called home just now, the tall blonde mystery slipped past the attendant at the desk and headed upstairs. She had the key to Kurja's room. She'd ordered him to give her one, and he'd obeyed. Now she used that key to slip into the room unnoticed by his neighbors. Inside, the place was exactly as she remembered it. It was hell for a man who had any sort of pride in himself. There were vermin in the walls and the floor sounded half-rotten. The walls were thin and much patched. He never complained and even suggested that it was a monster's lot in life to live in unsavory places.

Striding past the meticulously clean kitchen, the Angel searched for her Servant, calling out to him when he didn't immediately come out of the tiny bathroom. Ghoul-funk. He washed himself meticulously to chase away the stink that tended to build up around him. It had been a mildly troubling, if sometimes useful sign that he was _different_. Still, call though she might, the ghoul did not appear. _Did he go out,_ she wondered? He wasn't supposed to leave this room unless he had to feed or unless she summoned him. His existence these last few weeks was limited to this place.

An odd flash of color on the table that served as his part-time writing desk drew her attention. Strolling up to the table, she found a phone laying there along with a note, wrapped in a red silk ribbon. Frowning, she picked up the folded note, and a key fell out. Her mind immediately recognized that key. It was the key she'd used to remove his shackles in the dungeon. Alarmed, she scanned the note, finding a cryptic message: Call for Answers.

The phone rang as the Great Ghoul sat staring through a spy-glass at the horde of Dipped rushing into Wildberry Kingdom. There was a vast quantity of them. They had likely been raising their numbers for months, working ceaselessly to build their forces. Lowering the glass, he sighed heavily. Shaking his head, he picked up the phone and answered, "my Lady?" "Where are you," demanded Ingrid? "Elsewhere," he responded. "How dare you violate my orders," she snarled?! "I command you to return to the Kingdom this instant!" Kurja chuckled, "but you cannot command me over a _phone_ , my Lady." That gave the young/old woman pause. "What do you think you're doing," she rumbled? "You know what's happening..."

Smiling, the Great Ghoul replied, "I felt it. I felt it before you did. He... _hides_ things from you, my Lady." On the far end of that connection, Ingrid's face went red hot. "It doesn't have to be this way, my Lady," he told her. "You are a woman. Whatever else you are, you have your faculties... It's why he doesn't trust you." Ingrid's face contorted at what he was saying. "I demand you return here," she said. It was half-hearted. She knew she had no power over him. Not without surrendering herself completely.

Calmly, Kurja laid out what he planned to do. Ingrid was shocked by the boldness and scope of it. He'd been raising ghouls for months. He'd raised many more than he let on, bringing them out of the jails of the various kingdoms, giving condemned souls a chance at a redemption. "B-but why," she howled? She sounded petulant, and she knew it. "I once dreamed of being a knight, my Lady," he said. "I was a boy who dreamed of knighthood. When my family called me, I saw my chance. But they lied and they rooked me, and they left me in a dark place. Until you came along. I saw just what you were... what you think you hide from your husband. You have everyone fooled but us two. I hoped you were my savior, but I knew in my heart that you weren't. A woman can make a monster of a man... if he lets her. I will walk into oblivion, my Lady, but I will cease to be your monster." He hung up in her face, leaving Ingrid standing there alone in that rough apartment, her mind in turmoil.

It was just after noon when the airship entered a hover over the capitol of the Wildberry Kingdom. The calls from Bathilde had come to an ominous end. There was, quite literally, nothing Finn could do about it. The whole thing had gotten underway while he was tied up with Maja and Wildberry and their treachery, and he'd been hell and gone away from Elbow Kingdom as the Dipped were tearing through the place. The Elbownians were on their own, but there were lives he could still save.

Standing on the rear-ramp, looking out on Wildberry's capitol, the big man could see that matters were heading south fast. The Dipped were here too, and they were slowly working their way through the forest, devastating every living thing they came across. They had little time to lose. Shouting over the windblast in the door, Finn gave orders directing the pilot over the palace. When the airship was in position, he and Billy jumped. The ship began to climb, leaving them behind.

Standing in a nearby tower watching the pair, Wildberry knew what– _who_ –the pair were here for. They had come for her prisoners. Now those prisoners' value had just gone up. The Dipped had utterly crushed the guards on her eastern border. Now they were destroying her kingdom. If she wanted to save her skin, she needed a way to _force_ Finn to come to her aid. Turning to her fuck-toy, she commanded, "delay them." As Oreva set off to confront the heroes of Ooo, Wildberry stepped into her secret passage.

Finn had been held prisoner in this place seemingly a lifetime ago when Jake insulted Wildberry and got them both arrested. Now his nanobot-infested mind dredged up those buried memories, pulling them to the foreground as the big man led his son through the warren of hallways and rooms. They found a people in chaos. Males and females frantically snatching up their belongings–anything they could carry, as the danger grew ever closer. Few seemed to have any interest in molesting them.

As they were crossing the great atrium at the crossroads of the palace, _he_ came swooping down from above on the cord from a chandelier, firing javelins as he did so. Finn dove out of the way, but Billy stood transfixed a moment too long as the madman came swooping at them. The big man had to snatch his eldest child out of the way before Billy was impaled. As a startled Billy gathered his scattered wits, Oreva threw down with his dad, hurling acid-bombs, stabbing and thrusting with his spear, and trying to bash Finn with the butt-cap. He was physically young as Billy now, and he was ferociously fast.

Finn deflected his wrath with the grass sword, dodged the first acid-bomb, blocked a butt-stroke from the spear, and dodged back from the homicidal maniac. As Billy rushed forward, the lost soul that had been Abeiuwa's husband drew a multi-pronged knife from his shield and hurled it. In mid-flight, the thing came apart with a half-dozen prongs continued to fly onward. Billy deflected four of them with an ice-wall, but one lodged itself in his right arm, with the other ripping his right thigh. Almost immediately he felt his leg and arm go numb. _Poison,_ he thought. "Dad," he shouted! "I'm poisoned!" But his dad was busy. Oreva hurled down a flask with some nasty chemical inside, and the whole area began to fill with a deep purple smoke.

He could hear the two fighting. With the smoke in the way, Finn's speed-advantage was nullified. He couldn't speed around what he couldn't see. Indeed, Billy half-feared that if he wasn't careful, he'd speed right into a wall or other object and kill himself. The younger man was on his own, and he could feel the chemical spreading through his bloodstream. He was in a fix, and he was running out of time. _You're a fool,_ a voice announced.

Billy's face darted around, and he half-feared he was losing his marbles. But he'd heard this voice before. He'd heard it in his dreams at night, and he'd had its naggingly familiar song in his head more and more since the fateful battle with the Lich on the ice-island. _Who are you,_ Billy demanded? The voice gave him a devilish chuckle. _I've been a part of you since your birth,_ it replied. _The Ice-Tiara,_ Billy thought. _You were destroyed. Destroyed,_ laughed the terrible artifact. _Foolish boy. I could never be destroyed so long as either of my hosts lived._ An epiphany struck Billy then. Reaching deep inside himself, he grasped the power that had been within him his whole life, freezing the toxin in its tracks.

His arm was numb and, his leg ached when he climbed back to his feet. Calmly, he teased the power, as the voice inside him approvingly whispered, _good, boy. Very good. There's hope for you._ Grimly, the young man squelched the voice, shoving it back into the strange hole in his psyche that it inhabited. He'd have to deal with that later. Slamming the lid, the hero shouted, "Oreva! Oreva, you cowardly tool!" A javelin hurtled out of the cloud of purple. The air congealed around it, freezing it in mid-flight. Flicking it with the tip of a finger, Billy shattered it. As he strode into the cloud, the strange purple dust froze, drifting to the ground as granules of purple ice. Step by step, he came towards his nemesis–the man he'd called friend.

He found his father locked in a death-struggle with the rogue hero. The grass sword had its tendrils wrapped tight around Oreva's sword-arm, even as he tried to stab the Hero of Ooo to death with his free hand. Calmly, Billy reached out and froze Oreva's left arm solid. Just as he was considering his next move, the wall of the atrium all but melted, and a dozen Dipped oozed into the room. Time seemed to stop just then. Billy stared at the horrid creatures, even as they stared back, taking stock of the room.

Screams rang out, as eight of the horrid creatures made a bee-line for Wildberry's servants. The rest rushed for the nearest stairs. Oreva dodged back, shattering his own arm in the process. His eyes held a glint of the madness Wildberry had inflicted on him, as he took a swing at Billy with his remaining arm. Reflexively Billy stabbed him through the heart. The big man's eyes went wide in shock, and for a moment, he was the man Billy knew. "Sorry, man," said Billy. Then, as Oreva jerked the knife from his own heart to use it against his foes, Billy sliced off his head with a sword of razor-sharp ice. There was no time for sorrow, though. The undead had finished off the Berry-people and gone hunting others.

 _Fear,_ Finn realized. They were afraid of he and Billy. Likely their master had made it clear that they weren't to engage anybody who might be capable of harming them. They had breathing room, but it wasn't going to last. If they were here when the sun went down, they would be dead men. "C'mon," shouted the King of Ooo, as he raced for the stairs down to the dungeon. Billy didn't hesitate a moment before following. This was their lives. He doubted that even the power of the Ice-Crowns could save them from a horde of Dipped and feared his sanity wouldn't survive the effort.

The two men tore through the halls, finding bedlam set loose. The walls were coming down as the undead attacked the palace from the outside. One moment they'd be staring at richly stained wood paneling. The next, there would be daylight as the structure rotted to nothing in seconds. They passed desiccated corpses that had already met their fate. Through it all, Finn's mind was fixed on one hard reality. If they didn't get out of here soon, they'd be permanent residents.

Finding the stairs down, the pair shut the door on the chaos and descended into the depths below the evil Berry-woman's palace. The door shut with a thud that sounded like eternity, sealing off the horrible shouts and screams from up above. The undead were emptying the place–chasing everyone from their hiding spots and into the arms of their brethren. Finn counted up the odds in his mind, and a part of him wondered if this was worth it. The planet was in danger. This number of undead could depopulate the world. They'd already shown themselves able to fly an airship. That would see them attacking every land in Ooo. Numbers like these could overwhelm Talia's defenses and reach the Bomb.

At the same time, Hurletta and Belle were his friends through long years, and he wasn't sure he could let them down that way. Beside him, his son wondered at a strange thought. Were they all like this? Bonnie had a dungeon. Apparently Wildberry had one. Did Ragnhild? Did Abeiuwa? Neither Bonnie nor Wildberry seemed at all afraid of confining even their friends. What did that mean for a _husband_? He was going to be a husband twice over. Really, a part of him, knowing she would always be trying to manipulate him, had given in and accepted that he would have to marry Noemi too. They could throw him in the dungeon just for offending them!

As he pondered that, Billy's mind went to his dad. How in the hell had he managed not to get himself locked up already? He wanted to ask. He had to know. Instead, he found himself asking, "know where you're going?" Grimly, Finn nodded. "Someone's down here," he said. "The lights would be out otherwise." Billy grimaced. He had a sinking feeling about that. Still, they kept going, following the trail of lights through the black passageways.

Coming up to a side-passage that was lit by flickering lights, they heard voices. "You two cunts will come along quietly, or I'll give you something to cry over," declared Wildberry's voice. Without hesitating a moment, Finn stepped out and said, "I'd think twice about that, if I were you." "Oh, Finn," chuckled the bad berry. "I was expecting you." The grass-sword appeared, unbidden. That was a reflection of his rage. A part of Billy urged him on. Kill her. That was what this needed. She needed to die. Calmly, Wildberry looked him square in the eye and said, "I throw myself on the Council's mercy."

Finn's arm rippled, the grass-sword responding to the big man's rage. "What say you to that, huh, Finn," she demanded? She sounded a little nervous. The Dipped were close. They were tearing the palace apart. It was only a matter of time before they found the entry to the dungeons. "I have a secret passage," said Wildberry. "If we reach it, we live. Choice is yours, Finn. You can't get away from here without it. Not with your son and these two cunts." "You are hereby under arrest," Finn growled, as he strode past her.

The big man pressed his right index finger against the lock on Hurletta's cell door. As Billy stared, a small seedling took root there, growing rapidly. He could _feel_ his father exerting the terrible power of the curse. "Get Hot Dog Princess," Finn snapped. Billy froze and shattered the lock on the little princess's cell, scooped her up under his arm, and prepared to go, as the lock to Slime Princess's cell shattered from the pressure of the rapidly-growing seedling.

Finn threw Hurletta over his shoulder, and the five of them rushed out of there. They could hear the sounds of the palace coming down above them. The dungeon shook, and it felt perilously like they wouldn't be able to get out of this place. Colossal bangs and thunderous booms announced that whole walls were falling above the dungeons. Finally Wildberry led them into an alcove with an empty cell with a set of blood-crusted manacles hanging from the wall. Tugging on the manacles, the bad berry revealed a passage up to the surface.

Almost before the stairs had finished unfolding, Wildberry dashed up the stairs with Finn and Billy on her heels. They emerged in the middle of a forest glade. The forest around them was full of Dipped. "Uh-oh," burbled Wildberry. Transitioning back to her fair-face, the former heir of Laurel Kingdom announced, "hey, Finn. Hey, Bill. Still got that creepy lizard-cougar chasing you? Gotta swing back south and kill that bitch..." Billy's jaw came open. "Suadela," Finn greeted Alex's daughter. "Whatcha' got going?" With a shrug, the undead replied, "ending the world. You?" Smirking for the effect, she opined, "lemme' guess. Saving princess-cunts from their own stupid? You never learn..."

Before she could launch into a diatribe about Death, Finn's phone rang. Frowning, Finn drew his phone, announcing, "kinda' busy..." "I won't take long, sire," Kurja replied. "Pass the phone to the Dipped, please..." Frowning in puzzlement, the big man tossed the phone to Suadela, explaining, "it's for you." Frowning herself, the Dipped burbled, "uh, go..." "Hi," said the ghoul. "I'm the Great Ghoul. My army's here to smash your army..." Just then one of Suadela's officers ran onto the scene. "My Lady, My Lady," he shouted! "An army of undead's attacking our rear..." "Well that's ironic," rumbled Billy as he created an ice-pillar beneath Finn's little group. In short order, they were out of reach.

Shedding her fair facade, Suadela hurled threats at them, but it was clear she had bigger fish to fry. Finn, meanwhile, grabbed Wildberry's phone and started dialing. He'd had an epiphany. The whole business with the undead in Ingrid's kingdom had never sat well with him. He hadn't liked the way that episode had ended at all. Now all of it made sense. A distracted Kurja answered with a breathless, "busy, sire. You should call your ride..." Finn murmured, "I don't want you to do this..." The Great Ghoul replied, "but I need to. I want to end as a man, not a monster... Goodbye, sire..." "Bye, Sir Kurja...," Finn replied. The Dipped, Suadela among them, were now headed southeast.

Billy, who'd immediately gotten on his own phone, had already called their ride. In short order the airship was entering a hover above the ice pillar. Finn's mind was already down the road though. Ingrid would have to be stripped of power and authority. He'd have to do it carefully and quietly to avoid having her realize it. They were on the precipice, and things were about to get very messy. Now more than ever, he needed Phoebe.

 **And another thread ends. Kurja has finished his journey.**

 **Took a while to get this one right. As I get closer to the end, and I start to wrap up these threads, it's kind of taking a while to make sure I didn't forget something or screw up a detail. As you might imagine, it can take me a couple of tries to get the chapter into a shape that's good enough to publish.**


	44. Chapter 44

Chapter 44:

Fionna was talking. She was talking the way Finn so often talked these days–pretending to chatter away like a child with an Autistic Spectrum disorder in a vain attempt to distract Betty from the awful thing that was digging away at her like an angry wasp. She'd wanted to be angry at Patrick for doing this to Fionna. Lovably stupid Fionna, who was so like her father that she'd dressed like him for most of her life. Lovable Fionna was gone now. She was this way full-time these days, and honestly they were all starting to forget the way she had been, much like they'd forgotten 'old Finn'.

"You don't have to do that," murmured Betty. Fionna's mouth shut with a click. Those too-wise grey eyes found Betty's eyes. "I can do this," Betty sighed. "I have to do this." Reaching out, she pulled Fionna into her arms and hugged her. Fionna was a little startled when she began to cry, but Betty drew back before she could comment on it and kissed her cheek for good measure. "I'm sorry I raised my son to be a misogynist," she said. "Much of what he became is down to me. A woman's most important ability is her skill at nurturing children, and it's the thing I was worst at."

She thought Patrick was a woman-hater. She'd said that during the unpleasant _discussion_ of Fionna's new _enhancement_. Fionna was uncomfortably aware that there was some truth there. Patrick had a lot of 'mommy' issues, and those problems had done damage to their relationship before they were even a couple. At the same time, there were flashes of _something_ that Fionna saw in her husband that clearly didn't come from her grampa, and she _liked_ those traits in him. "You were doing what you thought was right," Fionna replied. "If he learned nothing else from you, he learned that. I needed to grow up. I have no regrets."

Turning to go, Fionna said, "we'll have you over for supper some time when this is done." And then she was walking towards the massive Tesla Barrier where even now the cyborg princess stood waiting. Betty turned and headed for the shiny metallic airplane that had delivered the last pieces of the machine. She could see Nadia's uncle standing there waiting to whisk her east to Talia's domain.

In the north, the Fire Kingdom was in the act of mobilizing for a war the likes of which many had only dreamed. The Kingdom was marching on the waterbags. It was an apocalyptic conflict unlike anything that had gone before. Up at the pinnacle of the army's communications center, the troops who monitored traffic with the Kingdom's farflung outposts were focused on the job with a zest and zeal that would have made their commander proud. He would have been proud if he wasn't carrying a deadly secret.

Boris Kowalczyk found himself wanting to tremble every time he thought of the role he was about to play in the looming Fire Kingdom Civil War. He was a loyalist. He'd sworn to King Gerik, and then sworn to the King's firstborn when the King was righteously deposed. That was the way of things. The Fire Kingdom's throne was decided by righteous combat. King Phoebe had decided the matter by might and force of her own strong right arm. By contrast, Flint had resorted to trickery, assaulting his sister while she was with child in a craven display that showed he lacked the moral authority to run the Kingdom. What kind of man threatened a child? What sort of man feared to face his opponent in righteous battle?

The old soldier had spent a lot of time soul-searching the last few days. He was committing treason, and he well knew it. No clever turn of phrase could disguise the fact that he was turning his back on his own people. He was making them vulnerable to the outsiders, and that stuck in his craw. At the same time, the roundups and the executions had told him that they were headed back to the bad-old days when the Royal Family schemed against itself, and the citizens got caught in the fallout. Phoebe had represented a clean break with the past. So were they going to go forward with the new Fire Kingdom or the old?

The answer was as simple as the truth he'd been having so much trouble choking down. He only had to think of the brother and nephew in Flint's prison to understand what his answer had to be. "Marek," he called out. As Boris watched, his young aide spun around and rendered up a crisp salute. The young soldier was excited to be living in such a time as this. He'd been unable to talk of anything else but the impending war since Flint announced it. Calmly, the old soldier told the new one, "please go out to the main entry and admit the afternoon shift commander. He's coming early today..." Marek stared at him a moment. That just wasn't done. And then his eager mind put one and one together and realized that he likely wasn't the only person anticipating the day. "At once, sir," he shouted!

The soldier–the _boy_ , really–rushed out of there. Now Boris turned his attention to the master console. Settling at the controls, he began turning knobs and resetting circuits. Step by step, he isolated the Fire Kingdom, its enclaves, and its capitol city, from the outside world and from each other. Frowns greeted his actions. Several of the men glanced up at him. They could clearly see what he was doing. "Shutting down the primary channels so that we can give priority to Flint's declaration," Boris lied. That mollified most all of them. Flint was an ornery prick. He wouldn't want anything getting in the way of the delivery of his master-stroke. Likely he might well have butchered anybody dumb enough to be on the phone at the appointed time, but why take chances?

Outside, Marek Kolkot keyed the secret code into the lock, cycling the massive door open. He was smiling as he stepped into the chill air of the mountain peak, expecting to see the second-shift's commander waiting there. Instead, a tongue of blue flame shot through him, exploding his body on contact. Coalescing out of the chill air, Shoko Bubblegum strode into the communications center with a small army at her back. Randy and his men fanned out through the structure. Remorselessly they cut down any who resisted as the Communications Directorate was sealed off and shut down. Flint had an army waiting in the wilds of Ooo, but he wouldn't be able to summon it.

In short order, Randy and his lady were standing in the main control room, with Randy's troops manning the consoles and guarding the former operators. The whole thing had gone off without a hitch. "Alright," said the princess. "I'm going. Follow as soon as you can." Without a word, she strode for the door, leaving shock and fear in her wake. It wouldn't take long for Flint to find out about this. When he did, there would be hell to pay. Randy stared after his lady for a few moments. Then he began the job of mopping up. They would smash the communications equipment and isolate the kingdom from the outside world. It would take technicians _weeks_ to get the Fire Kingdom on the airwaves again. Flint's invasion of the outside world would be stillborn. Of course, that left Flint himself to deal with, and Randy was honestly a little terrified of the fight they were headed towards.

The sun was setting as a distraught Ingrid walked into the council chambers looking lost. Bonnie immediately jumped her ass, demanding to know where she'd been. The world was on fire! They were now looking at moving the original Tesla Barrier south and east to cover Noemi and Alexia's kingdoms. There were hundreds of thousands of vulnerable people along the southern coast. In addition, there were thousands of Elbownians stranded at sea in a makeshift armada. They had a disaster on their hands that made Wildberry's war seem like a dream!

Ingrid sat down at the table, looking a lot like she'd lost her best friend. Kurja was dead. She'd felt him go. It was mad in its way. She'd brought him out of his prison for the sole purpose of building an unbeatable army of the damned as a hedge against failure to induce Finn to use his machine army. Strangely the ghoul had become a _friend_. Few alive in the world had understood her like Kurja. He'd given her advice and been a sounding board when she needed it most. Still, even knowing that he was _different_ from most of his kind, it was hard to reconcile this.

 _You're a_ fool _, Princess,_ said the voice. _Face it. You got hooked on the pole, just like with Clarence. I should have picked somebody else._ The voice went on in that vein, even as Bonnie continued to rail against her. Fortunately, Cherry stopped the noise before it got too far. "You ok," asked the crime lord? "I'm... tired...," Ingrid lied. "You should go and see Drew," opined Lollipop. The meeting moved on. Nadia was on the phone, and Bonnie turned her attention back to the Grid-Face Princess. "Alexia's promising to put together a fleet to go out and retrieve the Elbownians and get them into her capitol. She's got her people forting up, just in case." Nadia's people were already closing themselves into their fortified enclaves and raising their defensive forcefields. That left the grasslands and the bulk of the civilized kingdoms. Everything from the Grey Forest east to the sea was vulnerable.

"We're going to need firepower," Finn declared, as he came striding through the door. He and Billy had rushed home after rescuing Slime Princess and Hotdog Princess. Stepping into the middle of the room, he asked, "has anyone gotten hold of Phoebe?" There was nothing like a pack of elementals to bring the hurt. "Nothing," sighed Ragnhild. "The Fire Kingdom's closed off. None of the border guards have anything to tell us. They won't send our envoys onward, and they won't carry a message." That was ominous news. Nadia reported, "Betty's on her way east, Finn. She should reach Baba Yaga's domain in a day. Figure a few hours to get the control console loaded and then another day to get it back here." "That still leaves the problem of gathering up the storage pods," said Bonnie. "They're scattered across the shores of Djanira's kingdom. We'd have to get them and transport them back here to the front lines."

It was going to be tight going. The storage pods were very heavy equipment requiring the Grid-Face People's largest airships to transport. They only had four such machines available, and one was on the far side of the world. Decisively, Finn said, "we need to delay them..." Turning towards the far wall of the conference room as if he could literally see the advancing horde of undead, he said, "we'll redeploy the original Tesla machine in the south. That funnels them into the grasslands and protects the kingdoms to the south and north. We'll set up the Gumball Guardians as backstop east of Candy-Town. We'll roll into them with Blargetha's tanks to start. Then we'll fall back on Simone's wizard-dudes. Maja will be behind the wizards with the Bear. We need to hold them... roughly three days total."

It was going to be close.

They could all see just how close this was going to get. Finn was gambling Bonnie's kingdom–the jewel of Ooo–against the risk of the undead getting through in a bid to protect the war-ravaged kingdoms to the north and south. At the same time, this was the King they had. They'd all hitched their star to his name, and nobody really thought about backing out. If anybody could stop the Dipped, it was Finn.

Orders got handed out, and everyone stepped up to do their part, moving out to help get equipment moved or to organize the army to fight back against the tide of undead swarming towards them. Lollipop took on the job of scrounging every abandoned palace and castle to put together scraps of armor to protect the frontline troops. If they could keep the Dipped from touching flesh, they could stay alive. Bonnie and Sarah took on the job of coming up with a way to make Ragnhild's cannon more effective. Billy and Star got the job of gathering up the remaining soldiers–really everybody they could lay hands on–and moving them out to the fight.

Bill was back. And yet Ragnhild had to watch her sweet William walk right back out of the council chambers as if he hadn't even come back. And they hadn't even had a chance to _talk_ about the matter that was straining their little family near to breaking. Honestly, far from talking things through with Abeiuwa, she'd been ducking that confrontation as well–to say nothing of Noemi's treachery. She was at loose ends now. This wasn't going to get solved by diplomacy, and she had nothing to contribute just now. She'd given them her army already.

Rising, she headed out of the council chamber, bound for the dungeons. There was somebody she needed to see. Outside the council chambers, the palace hardly looked like the world was coming to an end. The servants were still cleaning and taking care of the place, just as they'd always done. Nothing was out of place. It was, in short, a doomsday like any other. Arriving in the dungeon, the pretty princess headed straight for the containment cell that Abeiuwa had so recently occupied. And that's where she found her nemesis.

Wildberry had been laying on the cell's rough cot, staring into space and resolutely ignoring the armed Bananas at the door. Taking a breath, the Froyo Princess asked for a respirator mask. Face showing his surprise, the guard produced one from the cabinet beside the door, though he made no effort to hand it over. Snatching the mask from the puzzled guard, Ragnhild snarled, "open it!" "Your Highness," babbled the guard? "Now," she shouted! Nodding profusely, the guard opened the door.

Donning the mask, Ragnhild the Froyo Princess strode into the cell and straight up to Wildberry Princess. "What do you want," growled the evil berry-woman. Ragnhild never said a word. Instead, she socked the woman who'd poisoned her husband in the eye. As Wildberry shrieked and clutched at her face, the angry Frozen Yogurt woman began pummeling her. The punches came fast and furious, and she knocked Wildberry to the ground. The guards rushed in as she began kicking Wildberry in the face and chest. Snatching the raging princess by the arms, they hauled her out, leaving the other woman laying there in a heap, moaning.

Ragnhild shook off the guards and stormed off. Halfway down the hall, she spotted a flash of color in a darkened alcove. "Just left there," she told Abeiuwa. "They won't let you in with the knife..." The Jungle Princess stepped out of the alcove looking irritated. "Billy's back," Ragnhild said. "You can waste time on _her_ or come with me to see him..." She didn't waste time on whether or not Abeiuwa followed. Instead, she headed for the stairs. Their husband was going to be leaving soon. She intended to gather up the kids and see him off.

The proud princess found her husband waiting in their suite. His expression was bleak, though it lightened when he caught sight of the boys. Billy's face became something like the man she'd come to love as he took their sons into his arms. That broke the final barrier, and the Froyo Princess announced, "I intend to seek council of the Grand Master..." It took a moment for Billy to realize she meant his mom. His mouth came open.

Striding toward him, Ragnhild said, "you once told me that your father wasn't really in control of his situation. I understand that now..." Before he could say a word, she slipped her arms around him and their boys. The big man flinched at the sound of her sniffling. "I'm sorry," he tried to say. Stepping back, she said, "for what? Facing up to the bombs life threw your way? I should have told you about what happened and how we saved you. We could have skipped some of the drama. But I'm strong, honey. We're going to raise _three_ good kids. Together. I... Well, we'll winter in Abeiuwa's Kingdom and go to my Kingdom for the summer..." Billy nodded. He would make this work. He had no choice.

Back in the Fire Kingdom, Flint came striding into his headquarters wearing a scowl of rage. Phoebe had twitted him again, coolly insinuating that he was living on borrowed time. She'd casually suggested that if he just surrendered now, she would show him leniency. She'd exile him to one of the great fire-peaks in the distant far east. He'd come close to crossing that line. He'd been sorely tempted to show her just how strong he really was. He'd _grown_ the last twenty years or so. At the same time, he well knew that Phoebe hadn't been stagnant either. The Flame King was mighty indeed–likely at the peak of her powers. A piece of him honestly feared she would sacrifice her children. They shared the same blood, after all, and it was what _he_ would have done. Were it _Flint_ in that cramped little prison, he would have sacrificed his own offspring to be free again.

And then woe to the one who caused him to kill his children.

Shaking off his anger, he demanded, "status?" "No reports, sire," said his aide. Flint brushed past him. At least he would have. Stopping in his tracks, he turned and demanded, "what do you mean, _no_ reports?" He would have expected reports of readiness. He would certainly not have expected empty airwaves. His aide replied, "we've received no communications all day..." " _What_ ," howled the elemental prince?! His aide fetched back a pace, his terror making his flames go dim. Spinning on his heel, the prince transformed into a tongue of flame, abandoning his heavy iron armor as he flowed through the headquarters, bound for the communications room.

Flint's rage announced itself as a tremendous boom, like thunder in a clear sky, as the evil prince coalesced out of thin air in a stroke of heat that even his subordinates could fee. "What's the meaning of this," he demanded? "Why has no-one checked in with the communications station?" Terror filled eyes regarded the would-be king, and he knew instantly that matters were worse than his aide might have wanted him to know. Striding up to the nearest soldier, he snatched the hapless fellow off his feet, demanding, "well? What in Glob's name is Boris doing?" "W-we don't know, sire," the fellow stammered. "Th-that is, he doesn't answer..." Flint's fire dimmed slightly as his keen mind put two-and-two together. "Get a detail up to the radio station," he shouted! "Full weapons and kit!"

The men in that room had no idea what it was that he suspected, but they didn't hesitate to comply. In just moments, there was a squadron of Wolf-Riders headed up to the kingdom's main radio station on the tallest mountain. Flint moved on. He had no choice. They were at the crux now. The army must be prepared to march at nightfall without fail. The waterbags were focused on his erstwhile _allies_ , leaving him free to strike them down. He might never have another chance.

It was late in the evening when the airship deposited Finn and his son back on the battlefield that he'd left hours earlier. His mind felt the irony keenly. He'd been here facing off against an old friend who'd become a mortal enemy and a mortal enemy who'd become his lover. He'd been intending to do whatever needed to be done, up to and including brutally sanctioning both women. Instead, he'd discovered that the world was, once more, teetering on the brink of destruction. Now he was depending on his enemy-cum-lover to help him steer the world out of this disaster.

Simone and Fionna joined him as he came striding towards the heavy tent that Fionna had put up for a headquarters. Without preamble, the Ice Queen declared, "the northern and southern Tesla Barriers are in place, Finn. We've got them bottled up in the lands east of Elbow Kingdom and Wildberry Kingdom. I've built a wall in the center to span the gap." Trouble was that Nadia's people didn't have a way for the Tesla Barriers to join forces. They couldn't seal the gap to give themselves time to think this through. Simone's ice wouldn't last forever. "Thanks, babe," Finn replied. "Both of you." Stopping right there, he hugged his wife, running his fingers through her long, platinum hair as he hadn't done in far too long. He found that, in spite of her hard facade, she was trembling. She felt it too. Nevertheless Finn forced them to move on. After hugging his beautiful daughter he said, "briefing in fifteen. Send somebody to round up Maja."

Finn headed into the tent to get a feel for what Suadela had been doing while he'd been back at the palace. Breezy was there in a corner, talking to Fionna's friend and lieutenant, Pedersen. Nadia was sitting at a table with a computer, probably working to invent something that would get them out of this mess. Everybody was engaged in the fight of their lives, and again his mind went to Phoebe. They needed the help of the elementals to get out of this jam. He would have the war-machine–hopefully before it was too late–but he would have been more comfortable with Phoebe's dudes.

While he had his nose in the books, looking at the terrain and their assets, Bonnie and Sarah came in, talking in low voices about something sciency. A glance in that direction revealed that Drew and Cherry had both decided to come along as well. As he worked his way down through that, a familiar scent touched him. Turning to his left, he found Voletta standing there. When the Lawkeeper stepped aside, Emeraude the Matriarch stepped into view. "Quite a mess, donk," she murmured. "Yeah," Finn agreed. "We've been in worse. Kinda' like when we woke up and found out we were surrounded by goo-bros." Emeraude laughed. Yeah, that had been a tight spot, alright.

While they were reminiscing, Maja came into the tent. She stopped there in the doorway, and her face froze at the sight of the King of Ooo laughing with one of his ladies. The moment got saved when Fionna blundered into her back. "Hey," howled the blonde! "What's the idea?!" Maja said nothing. Instead, she moved to the map table opposite Finn. That seemed to signal everyone to come to the table. It was time to deal.

Far to the east, Betty stared out the cockpit window into the endless clouds as she thought of the sins that had brought her here this night. She had lied, of course. As with so much of her life, good intentions had gotten mixed in with a little self-interest and forged disaster. She'd wanted her husband home, and she'd wanted Marshall out of the business of sucking evil and corruption into his body. So she'd lied. She'd hidden the rumor of Suadela's 'gathering', praying it was just that–a rumor. Now the whole world was at risk once more.

The forgotten city of Yakutsk was covered by darkness when the airship came out of the night sky. Piotr deftly leveled the wings and eased the machine onto the battered tarmac before shutting the engines down. They were, once more, at the ragged edge of the fuel supply. Almost as soon as the wheels were down, Betty was at the exit, waiting for the crew to lower the ramp. She strode down into the cool darkness of a Siberian night to find a surprise waiting for her. Talia was standing there in a pair of jeans and an old blouse, her face coldly serious.

"You were expecting me," murmured Betty. "I saw them," she replied. She'd been watching Finn a lot lately. She'd felt stirrings of something evil in the badlands, and she'd been watching Finn to see what it was when he eventually tripped across it. "One or two got away," Betty murmured. She was intensely aware of the Rusalka and what she was capable of. "They're like cockroaches," spat the nature-spirit. "Yuri taught them too well." She was already moving, heading towards the battered, rattletrap of a car that had brought her. Over her shoulder, she threw out, "we'll call as soon as we're ready, machine-boy. Bring your airplane." Betty stepped off, leaving Piotr muttering curses. Women. And what was he to do?

Betty piled into the car as Baba Yaga flicked the gearshift, putting the car in motion. It was a little hard to reconcile that this woman, who'd been an international superstar with a rising movie-career more than a thousand years in the past, was a nature spirit and powerful magician. Curiosity was eating Betty alive. "Were you always," she started to say? It was the sort of offensive question that had been common for folk of her generation, and she instantly regretted speaking.

"Born and raised," the Rusalka replied. Flicking her way through gears, as she took the turns, the ancient witch explained, "grandmomma fought for the Czar against the Germans. Then she turned her coat and fought for the Bolsheviks. She saw the way the world was going, and she wanted to get in front of it to protect the rivers. Her reward was a bullet in the skull when she'd outlived her usefulness. My aunt put a blanket ban on contact with humans, and we withdrew from the world..." "You hid in Siberia," Betty burbled. It made sense. Siberia was a desolate, _empty_ place even in her time.

"I fucked it up," muttered the witch. "The world thought we were fables, and the Commissars encouraged that. Then the wall fell, and we had Glasnost, and I decided to go into town on my own..." Shaking off those bad old memories, Baba Yaga said, "I've got the machine on my balcony. If he can drop us a rope, he can winch it up..." "We need you," said Betty. "The world needs you, Talia. It's time for Baba Yaga to come out of the wilderness." The witch scowled at her, but Betty didn't back down. Coolly, she told her host, "as one fuck-up to another, things don't get better when you go sit in the corner sucking your thumb. They get worse..."

Back in the west, the strategy session, such as it was, had broken up. With Finn's blessing, his friends and his kids set out to spend quality time with sweethearts before tomorrow's ugly confrontation. The man himself turned his attention to his beloved Simone, the woman he had hardly seen the last few months. Slipping his arms around her still-trim waist, he whispered, "sorry I haven't been much of a husband..." For answer, Simone shushed him with her lips. Her kiss seemed to say that this would all pass. "You've been the husband we needed Finn," she whispered, "the man all of us swore to follow until the end of time." Breaking that embrace, she said, "don't stay up late. 'Kay?" He swore he'd get to bed as she turned to go.

Instead, he found himself facing Strudel. "I wanted to be here," she said. "In case things... you know..." Finn flushed, but he didn't really resist when the younger woman half-dragged him to the chair in the corner and occupied his knee–to her eldest sister's irritation. She was very new to this game, but she was making up for lost time. Before Breakfast thought of it, Sarah occupied the other knee. Finn checked the irritated sigh that threatened to erupt as the android-woman snuggled in against him.

That was how it went for over an hour with Cherry replacing Strudel and Nadia replacing Sarah. Finn did his best to calm them and offer comfort. He did all he could to assure them that the world wasn't going to end in the morning. Cherry gave way to Emeraude, who spent rather a while on Finn's knee, even as Nadia got called away to look at the original Tesla Barrier. Bonnie beat Breakfast to replace her as Finn talked–really talked–with his most wayward of wives for the first time in what felt like forever. Bonnie herself said little. Her mind was a million miles away, working on complex equations and pondering how those little bits of esoteric knowledge could be combined to get them out of this. In the end, the pink princess got up to get back to work.

The minute Bonnie's butt left Finn's knee, Breakfast was occupying the spot she'd just left. Finn was ok with that. Beeps was hurting, and he knew it. He understood it all too well because he'd hurt people he loved. Chuckling, Emeraude said, "well... I suppose I should let number twelve have a turn..." Ingrid had been rather unsubtly hanging around. Now, as Emeraude stood up and walked away, the warrior woman took her chance.

Maja the Sky Witch stood in the entry, watching them all out of the corner of her eye, her expression strained and bleak. Only one other person in that place would have known what she was feeling. Breezy understood exactly what was going through her mind. It was a strange admixture of _regret_ and _longing_. Finally the evil harridan turned and walked out of the tent. Breezy, tempted very nearly past prudence to have a turn of her own on Finn's knee, followed. She had her own part to play, and there was little point in daydreaming about what couldn't be. She had a husband and children of her own after all, and their world would end too if Finn's army failed in the morning.

As Breezy was considering and reconsidering virtue, Suadela Galitsis was considering her allies. The electric barriers had come as something of a surprise to the Dipped. She'd lost several of her soldiers already, and she'd had to pull her weapons back. "The barrier is affecting the earth," her lieutenant declared. "It's remotely possible to bypass the barrier, but it would be difficult and painful to do." Several of their number had already tried, though with no fatal consequences so far. It looked rather like they were going up the middle. Finn wanted to channel them for some reason.

It was more bad news at a time when Suadela had felt very nearly invincible. With the numbers she'd built up, they'd more or less rolled right over Elbow Kingdom and devastated huge swaths of Wildberry Kingdom. Then the fucking ghouls had shown up. The fallen princess was still enraged about that. The lesser undead had taken hours to finally destroy, and the offensive had fallen drastically behind schedule. She'd intended to be halfway across the grasslands by now. She'd even had to give up on razing the Wildberry Kingdom. The Dipped had dented the lush greenery, but they hadn't rendered it desert like Elbow Kingdom.

It didn't make any sense to Suadela. Why would ghouls resist them? They should have common cause with the Dipped. Who's creatures were they? She had a fear that the Vampire King's hand was in this. She was strong. She'd grown stronger feasting on the terror and rage of their victims in the wildlands, but she knew she was no match for the Vampire King. No Dipped was as strong as Death's apex predator. Her hand went to the phone Finn had thrown at her. Her ally was just a phone-call away. She hesitated to call on Flint. She didn't trust him at all, and she really only wanted him to stay out of her hair while she took care of business. _Tomorrow,_ she told herself. She would see what Finn was up to tomorrow. Then she would make her decision.

Meanwhile, the undead's so-called _ally_ was dealing with a few shocks of his own. The communications facility was smashed. An enemy force had raided the place, smashed the equipment, and rendered the Kingdom mute at one stroke. Now there was no way to send the message to act by radio-wave. Unfortunately, Flint wasn't much of a magician, and he'd alienated many of his people's magicians with the mass arrests and civil unrest. Most of the best wizards in the Fire Kingdom had holed up in their towers and laboratories and barred their doors.

Sending a messenger by Fire-wolf was no option. Those same raiders–or _allies_ of theirs–had raided the three main stables and released all the army's best mounts, turning them out into the wilds. He had hundreds of troops rushing about trying to round them up again. A corner of his mind wanted to remind him that _Phoebe_ could have sent the message. Phoebe had become an accomplished wizard. He could even have _forced_ his would-be in-law to build him a transmitter. The aliens had attempted to force Shoko's mother to do that same favor for them once upon a time. But Shoko was dead–suicided–and Phoebe was now a mortal enemy.

His chance was slipping away. He could feel the sands flowing through his fingers. His chance to conquer the world was slipping away. He couldn't even manage to invade the kingdom next door! Of course, he was brooding and ignoring the ice-golem in the corner. Somebody was doing this to him. It was organized, and it had power behind it. Someone had the power to form at least the rudiments of an army under his very nose. They had the gall to turn it against him, and the wit and will to succeed. _She's locked in a cage, Flint,_ he reminded himself. His sister had all those things, but she was locked in a cage, pregnant and impotent. So who was his foe? He had better find out quickly. The sands were seeping through the hourglass.


	45. Chapter 45

Chapter 45:

The ice wall had spent much of the night melting. _Encouraged_ by the Dipped and their attempts to undermine and crack it, the Ice Queen's barricade was fading fast. The whole thing had taken far longer than Suadela really wanted. She'd wanted to move on the enemy in the night, storm their camp, and slaughter all they could reach. Unfortunately, Finn's cunt of a wife had been _too_ effective. They'd simply been unable to break through until the hated sun was already upon them. Her offensive was falling further and further behind, and that was starting to worry her.

Her mind kept going back to Flint. They had agreed to coordinate efforts, but she'd mostly been concerned with keeping him out of the fight to begin with. Her trust was still very thin for the elementals. In point of fact, it was getting no better. Every instinct in her body said to stay out of Flint's pocket. How could you trust somebody who would turn on their own sister? Even at her darkest, Suadela had never turned on her brother, and she would have resisted as much as she could turning on her mother. But here they were. "Lady," announced her aid. "The ice is gone. We can move."

On the far side of the barrier, Finn found himself facing his cabinet one last time before the dustup. He had all his peeps gathered here–along with a surprise. "Talia," he greeted the Great Baba Yaga. "Gigolo," she retorted. Finn's face went hot. Before she could make fun of him for banging Beeps or sleeping with Maja, the big man asked, "you here to do work?" She shrugged and nodded at Betty, who gave Finn a sheepish smile. With a smile of her own, Nadia announced, "I'm glad you showed up, neighbor. I have something that will help..." Now the witch frowned in suspicion. "Been studying you," said the cyborg. "I have a way you can be more effective in the coming fight." That ratcheted up Finn's fears a little too. At the same time, he knew they needed every advantage they could get. Phoebe's kingdom had gone completely dark, and he feared she'd been overthrown or worse.

Talia's eyes flicked to his, and understanding passed between them. This was it, and they were both going to lay it all on the line. Hero or zero, they would defend the world from the wrath of Death or die trying. "Come on maschina devushka," said the witch. "Show me this marvelous invention of yours." Giggling, Fionna stepped off after them, saying, "I helped make it! You'll love it!" Finn turned back to the others. Drew gave him a smile, as she said, "may not be much I can do, but I'd rather be here, Finn." The big man nodded. They had all more or less expressed the same sentiment. "Ok," he said. "See you in heaven, or see you in hell." The big man headed towards the front where they'd already staged Blargetha's war-machines. It was time to get at it. Simone's barrier would be falling at any moment.

Fionna led her 'aunt' to the strange machine Nadia had instructed her in creating. It looked like nothing so much as a crystalline lying bed or couch, laying in a vast, grassy area. The trick was that the area was rich in the soft sand that called to Fionna's powers along with the strange electromagnetic fields that seemed to flicker and flutter around the Rusalka wherever she went. Baba Yaga blew out a breath, and her eyes were a little wild. "Good, yes," asked the cyborg woman? The witch looked a little frightened. This creature was reading her like a book. "C'mon," said Fionna, impatiently! "I gotta' get to the front." "No," said Baba Yaga. "Not this time, Fionna."

Shaking off her fears, the witch went and sat down on the edge of the strange couch. "This will take two of us, nemnogo krasoty," she said. Without a word, she lay herself down. Pushing Fionna, the Grid-Face Princess urged her stepdaughter to join the witch. Fionna knelt at her 'aunt's' side. Then, after a moment's hesitation, she reached out and took the older woman's hands. This was going to be a little crazy. She could sense it.

The Dipped announced themselves as a seething black mass come washing across the land. Standing high on a hill, looking over the battlefield, Finn found himself enduring a viscerally powerful gut-check. He knew almost instinctually what it took the others there to work out in their minds. There were tens of thousands in that packed mass. There were so many that they seemed to move almost as one seething, oozing mass. It was a roiling black apocalypse coming towards them like a wave.

The big man could feel the others staring at him. Simone and Betty on his right. Breezy on his left. And Maja. He sensed... terror. She'd kept her distance since he'd come back. Now he sensed she was on the ragged edge of panic. They would have to get control of that. They needed every weapon they could get. He couldn't afford having one of his most powerful weapons flee in terror. "They're getting close," muttered Cherry. She'd come up unannounced. Her presence told him what he needed to know about his missing War Minister. Reaching into his pocket, he drew out his phone and keyed the mic. Grimly, he commanded, "open fire..."

Below, Blargetha's tanks opened fire. They opened up at long range and poured on the hurt. There were so many Dipped, it was impossible to miss. Emeraude and her nymphs had spent much of the night putting spells on every bomb and bullet they could get to. Now those spells went off with deafening concussions and blinding blasts of light as the bullets landed in and around the mass of undead, boiling away their inky black 'flesh' and destroying them by the score. Still, those evil creatures came onward. The range came down, and then down again. As one, the tanks threw their engines into reverse and backed away, but the undead kept on coming. Closer and closer they came as the rain of hell continued.

When they reached the first of the machines, Finn found himself crossing his fingers. He'd been warned. Blargetha had told him the machines, while hard as stone, were made of the petrified muck of her homeland. That muck could rot under the right conditions. Now Finn prayed to Glob like never before. The Dipped reached a second machine and a third, and they hesitated a moment, not knowing just what to do. For a moment, it looked like the Slime Guard just might get away with this. Then, before Finn's eyes, the first of the war-machines began to dissolve. Once it began, there was no stopping it. The tank dissolved, and then the Dipped were on the crew, slaughtering them before they even had a prayer of defending themselves. Finn heard Blargetha's cry of horror behind him. Her life's work was being destroyed before her eyes.

And then the crystals began to shoot up out of the ground. Familiar pinkish crystals appeared, jutting up like arrays of caltrops, slashing through the undead, and what they touched they destroyed. Vines appeared among them as well. Those vines came tipped with more crystals, and they flailed and swung wildly, slashing the Dipped and slaughtering them. The tanks, taking the moment's respite to regain their footing, tore into the undead at very short range, blasting them and shredding them. When the Dipped got close to one of the heavy machines, crystals and vines sprang up to ward them off, while the tank continued to fire and fire. And only when they were out of their special ammunition did the war-machines finally retire from the field.

"Looks like I'm up," sighed Breezy. With one last look of longing, she took to the air, whistling for her troops to follow. The bee people went swarming into the sky, thousands strong, bearing more of the wizards' handiwork. Swooping down above the chaotic battlefield, the killer bees dropped their deadly cargo, causing clay jars filled with Emeraude's blast-bolts to shatter on the ground, causing eruptions of brilliant light and concussive blasts of thunder that felled even more of the undead. The tanks fell back under the cover of the onslaught, and walls of crystal sealed the deal. Round one had been won.

Across the field, Suadela shrieked her rage at the sight of the pinkish crystal that blocked her way. She could feel the Rusalka's hand in this. She'd studied the witch while she'd been hunting up the Mushroom Weapon in the far east. She was very well acquainted with the ancient creature's nature-magic. She could feel it in the crystals that had impaled her soldiers and destroyed many of her weapons. She'd been hoping to have the time to deal with Baba Yaga at her leisure. Now it seemed the witch had come to her. If she'd only known. She'd been pondering how to get her hands on an airship–how to coerce or convert one of the cyborgs to fly it for them. The bomb would have made a quick end of things. But the witch was here now. This was as good a chance as any to destroy the weapon's guardian.

Her hand again went to the phone. Her ally could end this. His elementals could strike Finn's army down from behind. The pathetic _hero_ might not even see it coming. He might believe it was his lady-love come to his rescue with her army. Flint's troops could carry the fight to the witch herself. _No,_ thought the undead. That wouldn't do at all. She would have preferred to have the witch alive a little longer–the better to pry out the secret of the bomb from her withered old brain. Suadela turned to her lieutenants. It was time to plan.

Far to the north, her erstwhile ally was having troubles of his own. Flint now stood in the wrecked control room for the telecommunications center. His men had been working feverishly to repair it, but many of the attendants had disappeared. He wasn't sure if it was Boris's doing or the mysterious enemy who was sabotaging his war machine. In any event, he didn't have anybody here who knew enough to actually rebuild the smashed and shattered machinery. They were still cut off from the outside world, and even the internal phones were spotty. He was flying blind, and the enemy was maneuvering against him–running rings around him. He was on the defensive–forced to react to what they were doing, and that was a tough spot to be in when he had no way to even get information about what was going on until it was well past too late.

He didn't know their strategy. He could only guess at their goals. He assumed this was about Phoebe. He assumed they were loyalists. Boris had been a man like that–loyal to the Crown if not the person wearing it. A nagging piece of his mind feared there was something he was missing–a spark of something that could ignite into an inferno and threaten his rule. He liked to have time and _peace_ to think his way through problems. Unfortunately, the relentless pace of his enemy's attacks left him no time, and Phoebe's sniping left him no peace.

"Sire," came the shout from outside. A thrill of fear shot through him. Steeling himself, he bellowed, "what is it now?!" The messenger quavered in fear as he came to a stop before the Dictator's massive frame. "Sire, the Central Police Barracks has come under attack. All inside are feared lost!" " _What_ ," howled the Dictator?! The Chief of Police was one of his top allies! Taking two strides, the massive elemental dissolved into a great gout of elemental fire. His body poured into one of the furnaces along the wall of the communications center. He was doing the thing that few, save the most powerful elementals, could do. Nobody could reach the Police Barracks as quickly as he could, and that meant nobody should get away before he got there.

It was only as he was coalescing out of the ether in the darkened central booking hall, that the Dictator realized that there was a flaw in his plan. None of his troops could follow him that way. He was alone, and, now he'd left his armor, all but naked. Forming clothing out of the dust and ash in the air, the Royal came striding through the place as if he _wasn't_ alone. Flint walked as if he had a legion of troops at his back. It was sheer bravado, but he couldn't be seen to be a coward. Not in front of his men.

Step by step, he made his way through the empty halls, his eyes taking in the scene. Most of the police were gone. Empty uniforms and shadows against the walls told that many had met their fates here. The atmosphere was eerie, giving him tremors of terror. Something was wrong. The very atmosphere felt wrong. He could all but smell it. It was only when he was halfway to the Chief's office that he realized what he'd missed. Gone were the raucous calls of those imprisoned here. He'd come down himself to collect Furnius and Torcho, and he'd been amazed at the noise. Now the place was dead silent. His prisoners. Freed.

A flash of something out the corner of his eyes alerted him that maybe he wasn't alone. Now he hurried along, rushing headlong through the halls, fear forgotten. He needed answers. He needed to know who'd come here, what they'd done, and why. Faster and faster he chased that spark as it went up and up into the spires. His quarry was headed upwards towards the solitary confinement cells in the highest levels. It was cold up there. His quarry would be significantly diminished. He would be weakened too, but he was one of the strongest elementals in existence. Only Phoebe was stronger.

Faster and faster that glow moved. Flint pursued just as quickly. They were coming up on the highest levels now. This was a dead end. There would be no escape for his quarry. Tearing down the hallway, he saw the strange glow go darting into the cell at the end. Flint rushed after, readying himself for a fight. He needed this one alive. He needed his foe alive. Tearing into the cell, he conjured a sword of incandescent blue flame, preparing to strike. Indeed, he did end up very nearly opening up the wall of the cell, so primed was he. He checked his swing as he took in the emptiness in that room. There was only one creature present. A flambit. There was a flambit there with a sign around its neck. The pathetic creature looked up at him with pitiful eyes as Flint took in the words on that sign. Chief Ogorzalek. His ally. Crushed utterly and turned into a flambit. Rage clouding his mind, Flint raised his mighty right foot and stomped the wretched creature out of existence.

In the south, the second engagement of the day began with a sound like thunder as one of the artillery shells from the fallen tank shattered Fionna's barrier. Finn had called a conference of his allies to see just where things stood. Cherry had been first up. She had news from Ragnhild. Truth Field Projection Princess and some of their other allies were starting to put plans in motion for a mass-rescue of the folk in the crosshairs of the Dipped onslaught. They were preparing ships to cross the oceans and refueling sites for Nadia's airships, to enable the Grid-Face people to move as many as could be managed.

Nadia had good news to report too. The first of the containers housing the war-robots was on its way and due to arrive that evening. Two more of the large airships would be on the scene in the morning, enabling them to get the remaining containers moved by nightfall. They just had to make it that far. "Great news, babe," said Finn. He'd been ducking the issue of the war-machine for a long time, and he knew that if he'd brought the machine back, he would have been better prepared for this. His eyes flicked to the empty spot at the table. Ingrid would never have let him alone. She would have pushed and tormented him, pressing his buttons until he used what should never be used. Knowing the truth about Kurja and his troops, Finn knew what her real plan had been all along.

"We still have a lot of work to do on the control console," Bonnie reminded him. She'd never had adequate time to repair it. He'd sent it away with Marshall almost as soon as he'd taken control of it. The console had taken a beating when the Lich froze it. "What's my risk," Finn asked? Bonnie glanced down at her hands. She was tired. Weeks of battling Wildberry's madness plague and all the rest of their trials and tribulations had taken a toll. "I'm certain we can send the machines into battle, Finn," she sighed. "I'm not certain we can send the recall." They wouldn't be able to stop the robot army once they'd set it in motion. Rattleballs' dudes might do as much damage as the Dipped were doing now. "Do what you can do, babe," said Finn. "We've got time. Get started as soon as the first container's here..."

A loud bang announced that time was running out. Frowning at something only she could see, Baba Yaga declared, "they're coming..." Finn was out of his seat and giving orders just like that. Turning to his most unreliable and second-least-trustworthy lady, Finn said, "M? I need you to go up on the elephant. Slow them down. Buy me some time to get the army deployed." Maja blinked, her face showing her terror for a moment. Then the mask was back in place. "Fair enough," she said in clipped tones, before she went marching off to where she kept the Psychic War Elephant. "Maja," he called out. The witch stopped in the entry. "Be careful," he said. "Suadela's got weapons we haven't seen before. I need you back here. This won't be won in a day." Nodding, she started walking again. Finn turned next to his annoying sister. Before Talia could say a word, he snatched her off her feet and began to run.

The Dipped were pouring through a gap in the wall when Maja reached the scene of the breakthrough. With firm mental commands, she sent the war-elephant swooping down towards the ground. Her mind visualized the mayhem she wanted to sow, sending blasts of nuclear fire and bursts of laser-fire cascading through the gooey mass of undead, blasting them asunder and pulverizing them. The witch made pass after pass, slowing the headlong rush of the undead as they tore across the landscape. Her mind was in a state of turmoil as she fought to reconcile the same inconsistency that had tormented her since the beginning. Her mortal enemy–the man who'd nearly killed her once before–was behaving as anything _but_ an enemy.

She'd tried to tell herself that the moments where she saw concern in his eyes were purely tactical–that he was doing to her just what she'd done so often to men. But no matter how many times she told herself that he was waiting for his chance, Finn the Human never made the move that would have shown her his hand. And what was she going to do? She'd was fighting with _herself_ now, a long forgotten piece of her being wanting to reach out to the tenuous thread in front of her face. Just as before, no answer came, and the witch gave herself over to the urge to destroy out of sheer frustration.

Fionna caught up to her father halfway to the machine she'd created with her stepmom. "What's the plan," she asked, as they rushed into the clearing. Letting Talia down, the big man said, "just like before. Keep them off Blargetha's tanks. Buy me time. Slow them down." And then he was gone again. The witch rolled her eyes. Now she was taking requests. "Come on, Fionna," said Talia, as she climbed onto the couch once more.

Suadela's troops surged into the grasslands now, scorching the earth as they moved across it, sterilizing the soil, wiping it clean even of microbes. A surging tidalwave of death bore down on Finn's troops. Just as before, Blargetha's tanks rushed forward, firing as they came. They didn't have nearly as easy a time of it now, though. The undead took evasive action, separating themselves into clumps and globs, literally flowing out of the path of those titanic blasts of destructive fury as they did their best to dodge the hail of ruin coming their way.

They weren't entirely successful, of course. There were many tanks, all targeting different parts of the front simultaneously. Some of those hits told on Suadela's troops and told rather badly. Still, the undead ferociously covered the ground, even starting to flank the defenders, even as Maja pulled back. "Why doesn't she keep going," demanded Breakfast? "The Elephant is a living creature," retorted Cherry. "Obviously it gets tired." Breakfast blushed to her hair. It was clear exactly what esteem Cherry held her in. She was the idiot who'd let Finn be snatched by Maja. "Steady," said Finn, his voice calm and soothing. There was no time for bickering.

The Blintz Choppers rode onto the scene now. Called up by the Mafia Princess herself, the outlaw motorcycle club roared onto the field eight-hundred strong. Each dude came with a rider or a side-car, and each passenger carried a rifle or other heavy gun loaded with the weapons the wizards had spent time charming. At close range, they turned broadside to the Dipped and raked them with those weapons, hurling blast-darts and arrows and magic bullets into the packed mass, cutting off the developing encirclement before it could be completed.

Still, Finn's dudes didn't have it all their own way. Some of the gangsters got too close, and the undead were able to melt their tires, causing the hapless thugs to wreck. And then the undead finished them off. Three more of Blargetha's tanks got dissolved before Fionna and Talia could finish weaving the trap that had stopped the undead the previous time. Back and back the enemy forced them, driving the tanks headlong before them. The gangsters came back again and again, throwing everything they had at the undead, even as Finn considered sending in his reserves. Slowly but surely, the undead whittled the numbers of bikers down. It was costing them, though.

"The tanks are running out of ammo," Blargetha murmured. Finn could hear the tremor of terror in her voice. Nodding, Finn turned to his wife and son, saying, "need another wall." Reaching into a pocket, he keyed his phone, sending a text to his daughter. It was time to relocate the Tesla Barrier. In the glade where the big man had taken his adopted sister, Fionna felt her phone buzz. Talia could feel the change in her emotional state. "Bad," she asked? The communication was almost on an instinctual level. "Packing it in," said Fionna. "We're gonna' move the barrier back. Watch."

"Gentler," Baba Yaga advised. "The earth likes to be _coaxed_." Figuratively taking Fionna's hand, she helped the younger woman as Finn's daughter guided the earth in forming the strange pillars that supported the machine-girl's invention. Back on the battlefield, Finn watched in amazement as the pillars that conducted the Tesla Barrier's strange energy seemed almost to _flow_ from their previous location. His daughter was getting better at that. Now, as he watched, his wife and son brought the temperature at the Tesla Barrier's opening down to a bone-chilling eighty-below-zero, freezing the scorched earth down into the bedrock. As if to punctuate the message, one of Fionna's crystalline walls came shooting up out of the ground in front of the wall of ice as a further defense. They left the undead on the far side of the barrier, howling in rage.

For his part, Finn spent no time on emotion. With Ooo under threat, there was work to do, and the big man moved out to get it done. On the way back to his headquarters, first Simone and Billy joined him, fresh from building massive fortifications of ice to protect the gap in the Tesla Barrier. Then Fionna and Talia arrived. Finally he glanced back to find Maja following at a distance. He was pleased to see her there. This would be easier if he wasn't having to coax her along. He couldn't watch her and Ingrid both.

The witch followed him all the way back to the camp. Finn marched straight into the ramshackle headquarters to find TFPP there talking to Nadia, Bonnie, and Sarah. Conspicuously, Sheila the Lamprey Princess was also there, dressed in a sexy, low-cut number that emphasized her heavy endowment. Grinning her usual toothy grin, she gave him a cheery, 'g'day, Finn!' Finn gave her a hug, thanking her for coming. He still owed her a debt for taking him to confront the Lich and then rescuing he and Betty from the nuclear bomb he'd intended to use to kill his old enemy. Nadia gave him a dirty look born out of jealousy. Of all the princesses alive on Ooo, only Sheila was a match for her.

Of course, since he'd given Sheila a hug, her best friend and rival, Sakura the Truth Field Projection Princess, had to have one too. Finn patiently put up with the folderol. Then, he moved to the chair in front of the table and said, "let's begin..." He was a different man from the fellow Sakura had grown up with–calm and methodical compared to the sweet-but-hyperactive boy of her youth. Her eyes flicked to her neighbor. Sakura had heard of the nanobugs Finn was infested with. Nadia glanced away, her face shadowed in pain. She liked 'new Finn' no more than anyone else. Indeed, she liked the changes all the less for having caused them.

In calm, even tones that suggested he was talking of the weather instead of the end of the world, Finn said, "the Dipped are fifteen miles away. We're currently holding our own, but that could turn on a dime. I need a plan today to complete the evacuation of this continent." He was all business, and the princesses found themselves taking seats and setting to work. The Lamprey Princess offered, "I've a fleet on the way, Finn. I'll be able t'shuttle folk south to Abeiuwa's jungles, but it'd take _months_ t'move every person. Ye need t'start thinking about y'er plan..." He was burning up his resources trying to stand and fight them here and now over land he might need to abandon.

"I'll think about it," he said. Turning to the figure hovering at the back of the tent, the big man called out, "thank you for coming War Minister. Please draw together a plan to evacuate the kingdoms of the north..." Face flushed, Ingrid replied, "at once, Your Majesty." Finn turned to Sakura, who was staring at Maja. Coolly, the Lady of the Far East said, "it is imprudent to discuss business in the presence of such an evil creature." Finn never glanced at his unreliable ally. Coolly, the King of Ooo replied, "the Sky Witch is doing her part to stave off the extinction of life on Ooo, Your Highness. Perhaps you should do the same..."

Sakura's face turned a deep shade of emerald, but Finn was moving on. "The world is on the brink of destruction. I was elected to save it. I have no time to listen to old grievances. I only want to hear how you will help us save lives and end the Lich's plague on the land." Voice dead calm, Sakura said, "my scientists are examining the current defect with the Tesla barricade. I should have an answer to the issue of expanding the barrier in seven days." "Thank you, Your Highness," Finn replied. "It would please me if you would assist the First Minister and her team with the repairs to the war machine..."

Standing on the sidelines, Maja watched as the big man masterfully manipulated that coven of irritating cunts. As Finn dispensed with their insipid demands and cut off their moronic bickering, the hunger began to grow inside her again until she felt helpless to squash it. Here was a man's man–the sort of creature who would never have accepted being her slave or dog. He was the sort of man who _tolerated_ a woman's antics–until it became time for him to shut them down. The hunger was eating away at her soul, warring with the rage that had seen her swear that she would never take commands from anyone again.

Finn saw Maja leave out the corner of his eye. That was dangerous under the present circumstances. Dismissing his cabinet and the delegations that had come to this awful battlefield to see him, the big man rose to go after his frenemy/lover. He needed her on-topic and not pouting or cowering in fear. More to the point, she had some things that belonged to him. He'd barely stepped outside and was scanning the darkness looking for her when Sakura stepped up beside him.

He could feel the strange forcefield flowing from her body that compelled truthfulness from all but the most stubborn individuals. The first time he'd met Sakura, he'd thought it was a handy trick for a princess. Later, he'd come to sort of resent that she used it so shamelessly. "Konbanwa. Ogenkidesuka, Sakura-san," he greeted her. "That's new," she replied, as she came around in front of him. "Nanobugs," he replied. "Can't help it." Her pretty face twisted in a frown, but Finn headed her off at the pass. "She saved my life, Sakura," he said. "I had one more chance to see my wives and kids. It's a fair trade."

"Wives," she murmured. Her eyes flicked back to the tent. She'd missed his wedding to Emeraude, but she'd heard about it. She certainly had to have heard about the thing with Nadia. His Russian beauty couldn't keep her mouth shut for anything. "For the record," said Finn. "I didn't _choose_ this path. It chose me." Frowning again, she demanded, "and does that count the witch too?" She meant Maja, and he imagined she'd heard about his misadventures in Emerald Kingdom too.

Staring her straight in her pea-green eyes, Finn said, "Phoebe had to learn that ultimate truth is often more of a curse than a boon, Sakura. Maja is a twisted woman, who's got very good reasons to hate every last one of you. She has a deep and abiding distrust of any head that wears a crown, and I have to believe that a lot of that came from _your family_. The Sky Witch is a creature of evil, who would gladly have me use the powers I have to unmake the world at her will. I walked away from her offers, but I think we both know that behind every great evil often lies a history of great abuse."

Every word hit like a punch to the gut because she knew he was utterly incapable of telling a lie right now. The petite princess flinched from every word, but the worst was coming. Coldly, he said, "fortunately only Truth is Mandatory in your presence, Your Highness. I shudder to think how much damage a child in a grown woman's body would do if you could compel Affection." Brushing past her, he strode off after Maja.

He found the witch pacing a darkened aisle, muttering to herself. Stepping out, the big man waited for her to notice him. "What do you want," she muttered? "Why did you do that?" She'd clearly heard some of that exchange. "I'm not here to offer you salvation," Finn replied. "This is business. Remember?" Her face went hot. She'd said the very same thing to him. Voice utterly devoid of the passion he'd showed her in Emerald Kingdom, the King of Ooo said, "tomorrow will go ugly fast. I'll have my weapons back. Now, please." Flushing, Maja nonetheless turned, unfastened the ugly purse she carried, and reached inside. Drawing out the Finn Sword and his Grid-Person shield, she tossed them on the ground.

Finn made no move to pick them up. Instead, he told her, "you'll stay with the elephant tomorrow. Breezy's guys are going to be on air-patrol. You'll back them up." Maja snapped, "why're you doing this? I'm... I smashed three villages in her kingdom..." "The Dipped don't see saints and sinners," Finn retorted. "They see victims. Do your part, Maja. Keep your word, and I'll keep mine." A tendril from the grass-sword flicked out, activating the forcefield between them before picking up both items from the dirt and drawing them back. Without a further word, Finn walked away, leaving the witch there in tears.

In the north, Flint returned to his sanctum to find Phoebe sitting there, taking a meal. His rage returned. Striding across the room, he blasted the plate from her hands, turning her meal into vapor. Mildly Phoebe asked, "things not going well?" His rage grew until he towered over her. Torcho shrank back from him, crowding into a corner of her cage. Phoebe didn't so much as twitch.

"Who are they," Flint demanded?! He knew he'd gone wrong the moment the words left his mouth. "Dunno," Phoebe answered. "Maybe you could fill me in on your problem..." The sarcasm stung worse than her insults. Growling in anger, Flint stormed out, slamming the door shut. Torcho cursed her cousin, demanding she stop antagonizing Flint before he murdered them. With a humorless chuckle, Phoebe retorted, "shut it, Lamo, or I might not let you out of there." She sounded utterly confident to the fallen princess's ears. Indeed, Phoebe had just learned a great deal about Flint's travails. All she needed to do now was wait for the right moment.

Outside, a distraught and distracted Flint was about to make a serious blunder. Standing in the hall, his mind in turmoil, he found every face there staring at him. They could _see_ his fear. This was damaging morale. His men saw him afraid. Adopting his most imperious pose, the Dictator said, "alert all commands. Consolidate here. Make them come to us. Promulgate my edict. We shall execute the King at sunset!" His top officers saluted, and his lieutenant responded, "at once, sire!"

 **Battle is joined! Next time, we'll see if Flint gets what he so deserves.**


	46. Chapter 46

Chapter 46:

The rising sun found the Dictator overseeing preparations for Phoebe's execution after an uneasy night spent plotting and scheming on how to weed out any future foes with the wit and will to challenge him. Construction of the scaffold was proceeding apace. The prison that would be his sister's last sight on Ooo was primed and ready, with the work gang just finishing the seal. The witnesses were gathered to watch the end of his sister's reign. Yet still he worried. None of this had quieted the voice of doom inside his head that was counting the hours to his own demise right beside Phoebe's.

He was gambling now. He was gambling that Phoebe would sacrifice her unborn baby and herself to preserve her first child. He was gambling that this wouldn't push their people over the edge. He was risking his reputation and status as a certified war-hero on a risky gambit of quasi-legal murder. _And what choice do you have,_ he thought? His offensive was wrecked. His tenuous alliance with the undead was in jeopardy. This was his best chance to bring this disaster to an end before he lost everything. He was going to force this little rebellion to a close, one way or another.

Before his eyes, one of the workers building the death-machine very nearly knocked over one of the supports, threatening to overturn the whole thing before his very eyes. "You there," snarled the hostile Royal! Storming across to the hapless fellow, the Dictator snatched the surveying tool from his hand and nearly brained him with it. Bowing and scraping in obsequious fashion, the technician offered profuse apologies. "Don't fuck up again," growled the angry elemental as he dropped the tool. Storming back across the hall, he found his aunt waiting.

"Aunt Bella," he greeted his mother's spinster sister. "Flint," she responded in frosty tones. Bella wasn't exactly a fan of his. A scant five years his senior, she'd grown up with Flint, baby-sitting him from time to time. She was a little irritated that he so rarely stopped by to see her. The two spent a bit staring at each other. Realizing that he would have to make the first gesture, Flint said, "I have a small request... one that you might be pleased with..." "Say on," she replied. Motioning for her to come along with him, the evil warlord said, "I know you've always wanted a child of your own to raise... "

Bella gave him a look of utter puzzlement. Then, as comprehension dawned, her face took on a rather sly expression. The dickering began in ernest then. Much as he was doing something _for_ her, Bella behaved as if it were her doing _him_ the favor. She drove a hard bargain, demanding a rich stipend to keep the soon-to-be-deposed heir out of his hair. On his side, Flint wanted to be certain that the boy never found out about his heritage and never questioned his place in the world. He wanted Cole to grow up on the far edge of elemental society, forgotten and unnoticed. The bargaining went for over an hour as the troops made ready to execute their King, but finally Bella secured what she felt was her due. It had been a negotiation for the ages, but Flint felt he'd come out ahead. Now, as his aunt went her way, he went to his quarters to execute the second piece of his plan.

Phoebe had just finished feeding the child when Flint came in. Just as always, her eyes were locked on his as he crossed the room. She was giving him the silent treatment now. It often seemed that, whether she was silent or speaking, Phoebe was getting the upper hand. It honestly creeped him out that she could just stare him down that way, and that contributed to his foul humor. Honestly, for most of the last few weeks, he'd found himself _brooding._ He came home and did his best not to interact with either woman. Whether it was out of shame or humiliation, Flint had no use for conversation with them. Today, with his plan in motion, Flint dared Phoebe's razor-sharp tongue.

"Sister," he greeted her. "Usurper," she replied. The remark cut him just as much as anything else she'd said. Squaring up, he drew himself to his full height and said, "we both know this couldn't have continued. Your rule has to end Phoebe... Your _life_ has to end to assure that happening, but your _son's_ life needn't end." Phoebe frowned at him. That didn't make sense. Coolly, the Dictator nodded at the little fellow crawling around on the floor of her cage. "I don't like murdering children," he said, "and it would also harm my reputation to be seen doing it. We both know that." "So what's that matter for me," she retorted? Frowning at her, he said, "I'm prepared to offer Cole his life... In partial exchange." "Partial exchange," demanded the Flame King? "Partial exchange for what?" "The throne," Flint replied. Stroking his chin, the Dictator said, "it's simple, Phoebe. Your son lives. You surrender yourself to justice. No conflict. You go quietly. I'll see him raised as a normal child in a decent household." Phoebe shot to her feet. Coldly, the Dicator snarled, "take it or leave it. Cole's life for your own. You have until this evening to decide."

Afternoon found Finn making his way back to the headquarters after a rather long day spent scouting the length of the defensive line for breakthroughs. The Dipped had been quiet all day. They had been so quiet that Finn had spent hours calling around, looking for places they _might_ have tried sneaking through. His wives mostly stayed out of the way,with Bonnie and Sarah immersing themselves in the business of repairing the war-machine. Nadia split her time between working on the Tesla Barrier with Sakura and coordinating the evacuation with Sheila. Cherry put the breakfast sisters to work dishing up food and morale for the troops while Drew prepared for the inevitable casualties. Maja was in and out all day, creeping him out by staring–sometimes minutes at a time. Breezy was conspicuous by her absence.

Finn ignored them all in favor of trying to find out just what Suadela was up to. He even hit Talia up for a little charity to see if she could help. Unfortunately she had a peculiar blind spot when it came to Yuri's creations. They were invisible to her powers of Sight. In the end, Finn gave up in favor of preparing as best he could. Making his way back through the camp, the big man found himself joined by Sakura.

The little princess was dressed down today in shorts and a tee-shirt–a bit more appropriate for crawling around in machinery. "I wanted to apologize," she said. Finn told her, "it's small beer..." "...but it needs to be said anyway, Finn," she replied. "I got out of line... This is life and death, and I shouldn't have made it personal." It was madness to be focused on anger over events from before she was born when the world was teetering on the brink.

Moving on, the King of Ooo asked, "any luck?" With a sigh, Sakura admitted, "a little. Bad news mostly..." Looking him square in the eye, she said, "there's no quick-fix, babe. I... we'd have to take the barriers down and rebuild them..." That made the whole idea a non-starter under the circumstances. Suadela was never going to give them that kind of time. "Keep tryin', babe," Finn replied. "And thanks..." The princess smiled as she went her way. Under everything, he was still the sincere and good man they all loved.

Finn was nearing the headquarters when a massive quake shattered the peace. It was a shock unlike anything he'd experienced before in his life. He had no idea what had just happened, but he knew it was catastrophic, and he feared it was Suadela's doing. Rushing back to the headquarters now, Finn found the place in chaos. Seeing him there, Bonnie reported, "they somehow got down into the old caverns under the grasslands. Somehow, they must have blown out some of the supporting stone. There's now a canyon four-hundred feet deep and three-hundred feet wide running right through our lines, Finn." Meaning they were _boned_. Suadela and her goons could walk right past the Tesla Barrier.

Finn's eyes flicked to the control console. "Not ready yet," sighed Sarah. "We need more time, Finn." Nadia told him, "Blargetha's already sent her tanks into action." But they were going to need backup. Fast. Finn was gone in an eye-blink, taking the hopes and dreams of the tent's occupants with him and leaving pain and angst, but that was the world they had. For his part, Finn's mind emptied of all the worries and concerns. There was time and space now for one thing only. Survival. Survival of the world of Ooo.

Racing up on the hill where he'd observed the battle, he found Blargetha giving orders to her troops. Just as Bonnie had said, the caverns had collapsed into the earth. Finn's mind went to the Hyoomans. How many of them were dead now? Was Susan still alive? Life was life, and he wouldn't have put it past Suadela to slaughter every Hyooman she could reach. "Status," snarled Finn?!" "My tanks are in battle," said the slime-woman. She'd sent them wading in the minute the canyon opened. They'd rolled down into the mouth of the canyon and laid into the enemy, stopping the advance of the Dipped in its tracks. Now the Dipped were counterattacking.

Drawing the radio from her ear, Blargetha howled, "the witches...! Th-they're not helping!" Her tanks were already starting to take casualties. The Dipped were coming at them from the sides and from above. Down in the canyon, they didn't have the space and range advantage they'd had before. Finn felt a chill go down his spine. Had someone gotten to Talia and Fionna? He really didn't have the time to find out. He had to get the troops in place to blunt Suadela's drive. Rushing down to the soldiers milling about in panic below the hill, the big man shouted, "follow me!"

The army rushed forward at the run, jogging to the sound of the guns as Blargetha's troops gave their all to save the world. Finn could hear the fire slackening, though, and he knew they would be overwhelmed without Talia's help. Part of him wanted to be angry at Blargetha for sending them in without his permission, but he knew she was right. If she hadn't acted, the Dipped would have reached the open field beyond the Tesla barrier and been able to sweep the land clean. There would have been no stopping them. It was another of the ugly choices that the King of Ooo had to make that Finn the Human had never faced. Peeps were dieing, and he had no way to stop it.

As the big man rushed forward with the army, someone else was also rushing forward. Just as he'd bid her the previous night, Maja and the War-Elephant were flying forward to help the tanks on the ground. As Finn watched, the elephant swooped through the artificial canyon, blasting undead asunder. The pair made repeated attacks, swooping into the canyon over and over, shredding the enemy with each pass. Finn whispered prayers with each new attack. His assets were almost all committed now, and the War-Machine wasn't close to ready. "Hold 'em," whispered the King of Ooo. "I'm comin', M. Hold 'em."

Up ahead, Maja hurled blistering bolts of flame into the ranks of the undead, blasting them asunder as her mount scattered blasts of white hot plasma and laser bolts among them. The witch had awakened in a foul mood, and the War-Beast could _feel_ her rage and hate through the psychic bond they shared. She was in a rage against the man who had been teasing and tormenting her for the last few months, and she was in a rage against _herself_ for the fact that she still felt this way. As the war-elephant flew pass after pass, the Skywitch urged him on to do more. One more pass. One more strike against the undead. They were whittling the numbers back, letting the tanks slowly withdraw from the field.

It was on the fifteenth pass that the trouble came. They had swooped in low to savage a knot of undead animals that had been unleashed against the rear-guard. As they were gaining altitude, a blot of inky darkness leapt from the canyon wall and onto the war-elephant's flank. Maja blasted the creature almost as soon as it struck, but it was already too late. She could feel the war-beast's agony, as the Dipped's deadly curse began to melt his flesh, causing it to run like rancid butter. She urged the creature to climb, but the stricken creature instead began to circle ever downward, aiming for a spot clear of the jagged boulders that littered the area. As the dieing creature crash-landed, one ugly thought trickled through the mind of the Skywitch. This is it.

Indeed, as the witch freed herself from the wrecked howdah, the undead rushed forwards. The dieing elephant cast about him with bursts of elemental fire, buying the witch a little time to get distance between herself and their deadly adversaries. Thoughts echoed through her mind, _run, Baozhai Ngan! Run!_ Tears streaming down her face, the witch did just that, fleeing for her life. Though half-blinded by tears, she ran as hard and fast as she could. Lost in the pain of her own losses, she almost ran into the arms of the enemy.

Maja drew up short as she came upon the sight of a dozen Dipped finishing off the crews of two of Blargetha's tanks. "Well," murmured Suadela, "it's the Skywitch! I don't know how to thank you for all you've done. You kept Finn busy for _months_ while I built my army! Maybe we should kill you last as a reward! What do you think fellas?" Maja's mind reeled. It was everything Finn had said. And worse, she _was_ responsible for this debacle. She'd fulfilled the prophecy of her own destruction. A glance behind her showed there would be no escape.

As the undead pondered her fate, a flash of blue announced salvation. Finn was there at her side in the blink of an eye. Before anyone could say a word, he had his massive left arm wrapped about her middle. " _Finn_ ," howled Suadela "Hey, princess," Finn greeted the Dipped. As she shouted for her troops to attack, Finn darted up the wall of the canyon, leaving them attacking only air. Unfortunately, easy as it was to get _down_ into the canyon, it was a lot harder getting out. The Quicksilver Curse didn't offer the power of _flight_. Indeed, as Finn clawed for purchase with the grass sword, Suadela began barking orders. Before Maja's eyes, the mass of undead formed once more into a cohesive whole–an oily black mass that covered the canyon floor. They weren't going back down. Unfortunately, _up_ wasn't an option either. As the first undead came _oozing_ across the slope, the big man made his decision.

Amplifying Sybil's powers with the curse, he went swinging and bounding across the land. Back and forth he swung, holding Maja in a grip of iron as the undead tried for them again and again. Clinging to a jagged shelf of stone with Dipped above and below, the big man turned to his enemy/lover and said, " _M_! Snap out of it! You've got to fight, babe. I can't do this alone! Need you to throw down, babe. Now." Nodding uncertainly the witch began to gather power. As the undead attacked, she smacked first one and then another after that. "Good, M," Finn said, as he dodged a third attacker! "You're doing great!" She could _feel_ his confidence and courage, and that fed her magic, powering eye-watering bolts of light and blasting spells as Finn slowly but surely worked his way to safety.

A part of her knew confusion. Why had he saved her? Was this a trick? How could it be a trick if he risked himself? Worse thought–did he actually _value_ her? Her mind went back to that warm night in the Emerald Palace. He'd offered her a place at his side, but she'd been unable to believe he meant it. After lifetimes worth of hate and distrust, had she been _wrong_? " _Focus_ , M," Finn admonished her. "We're gettin' close..." The canyon was starting to slope upwards, and Maja could see the last of the tanks up there striving valiantly to hold the line.

Unfortunately, they were also approaching the hottest part of the fight. The Dipped were _thick_ here, and Finn was horrified to see that Suadela and her goons had actually turned forest creatures into undead, driving them headlong into his dudes' lines. The pain-maddened creatures were wreaking havoc, hurling themselves bodily into the ranks, damaging machines and dissolving soldiers both. The sentient undead were crawling up the sides of the canyon to block him. "Y-you won't make it," cried Maja! "Watch me," Finn retorted! Now he darted forward, swinging and dodging around undead. He was simply amazing, and Maja found herself simply _staring_ as she clung to him. But the hedge was growing thicker, and without any kind of counter-offense, the Dipped were starting to box them in.

The pair found themselves on a narrow stone ledge with Suadela's _weapons_ below them–a flowing mass of putrid darkness–and the sentient undead above. As they moved in, the Dipped taunted them–suggesting they just lay down and die. A part of Maja would have done just that. She had nothing now. She'd just lost all she had left. Just as things were starting to look bleak, a shocking sight quite literally blossomed before their eyes as a riot of green growth sprang up around them. Greater shock was coming as the strange new growth destroyed those Dipped that it touch. _Talia,_ Finn thought.

Taking his chance, the big man began moving, dodging along that wall towards safety. This time Suadela herded her fiendish _weapons_ up onto the canyon walls, causing them to wash against the stone, boiling off the undead ooze in an oily black haze, but killing the riotous new growth in the process. Finn went rushing through, dodging back and forth, back-tracking when he had to. It was working. It seemed to be working–letting them get closer and closer to safety–until it suddenly stopped. Just as quickly as Baba Yaga's sorcery had sprung up, it suddenly stopped helping them.

High above, Simone Mertens stared down at the brewing disaster from on-high. She, Betty, and Emeraude had expended tremendous energy building weapons to fight this battle. Nearly every wizard in the family had been submerged in building weapons to fight back against the onslaught of the undead. Honestly, there were moments she'd feared it would kill one of them. She didn't fear for herself. She feared for Betty, Emeraude, and Patrick, but she didn't fear for herself. She was carrying–had _been_ carrying–a dreadful secret. _Am I so_ terrible _,_ the voice in her head asked? Simone reminded the Ice-Crown, _you tortured my father for ten long centuries._ The entity that cohabited her body reminded her, _I kept him alive. If not for me, you'd never have been born. If not for me, you'd be impotent as the rest against what lies below us._ The Ice Queen reminded her unwanted tenant, _if not for_ me _, you would be gone. I'd say that makes us a bit even. Maybe a bit more than even._ She'd made it very clear what the consequences of any kind of conflict would be. _So let's stop posturing,_ she thought. It was time to get this done.

The Ice Queen announced herself with a shock of preternatural chill that caused stone to shatter and rubble to fall among the Dipped. She froze several of their number so thoroughly that they shattered from the stress. Swooping through the canyons, heedful of the need for the most delicate control over the power coursing through her, the Ice King's daughter directed bursts of absolute-zero cold at her husband's attackers. Seeing her swooping through the canyon, Finn knew a moment's terror. This was how the elephant had died.

Indeed, as the hero watched, the undead began to react to the new threat. Several threw themselves bodily at the Ice Queen, seeking to trap her. The sorceress dodged them, twisting and turning through the air. His wife was amazing, and he found himself falling in love with her all over again. Streaking back and forth, Simone waged war on the creatures who wanted to end the world. Over and over again, she cut them off, as they sought to surround her husband, as Finn dodged from rock to rock. She even created a bridge of ice, enabling him to cross from one side of the canyon to the other. Down below, Suadela howled curses at her minions, exhorting them to 'get that _bitch_!'

The undead sought now to box in the high-flying sorceress. Hurling themselves from some of the highest ground in the canyon, the sentient undead forced her lower and lower, aiming to trap her near the ground. Simone knew the game right enough, though. Now she found herself turning to her other secret. Like all the rest of Finn's wives, she'd been keeping things from him. Knowing what he was going through, she'd kept this secret close to her chest, not even allowing her mother to know it. Reaching out to the life in her middle, she called out to her child, _Jewel. It's time, sweetie._ As the undead launched their assault, suddenly the Ice Queen was at the head of the canyon. Before Finn's startled eyes, his baby built one last ice-bridge, allowing the big man to rush up and out of the canyon. Joining them there on the rim, Betty, Patrick, and Billy laid out the smack-down, burying the canyon under three-hundred feet of glacial ice.

Finn set Maja down. The witch tottered there a moment, her legs almost buckling as her mind took in the enormity of what had almost happened. Her eyes went to the man who, against all odds, had snatched her out of the jaws of death himself, but Finn's eyes were only for the person who'd saved _him_. As Simone alit before him once more, Finn the Human swept his beloved first wife into his arms. The tall woman cried into his shoulder, letting the terror and tension _she_ felt drain away. Stroking her long, pale hair, he apologized for doing this to her again and again. He confessed to being a thoughtless jerk, promising to do better in the future. Standing there watching that scene, Betty realized he was actually apologizing to all of them. That feeling got confirmed when he looked her square in the eyes as he once more uttered those words. But that was what a man had to do–apologize for saving your life because you got frightened by seeing him do it.

As Betty mouthed the deadly words, 'I love you,' an anguished, 'Daddy,' drew everybody's attention. Finn turned to find Fionna standing there, and she was cradling a withered body in her arms. "The Crone," burbled Betty. The withered creature swore at Betty in Russian, and Finn stammered, "T?" "The same, gigolo," wheezed the old woman. "I think the curse did this, daddy," said Fionna. "She was working with it..." Which explained the sudden appearance of grass and even whole trees on a slope of barren rock. "Right," said Nadia. "Come along, Fi. My neighbor has a plane to catch..." Uncertain of what she should do, Fionna fell in behind her stepmom, glancing back from time to time at her dad. Finn, calm in the face of the loss of their greatest ally, turned for the headquarters, saying, "let's get busy everybody. We get to do this one more time tomorrow..."

In the north, the Flame King sat in a cage, watching her brother's minions put the finishing touches on the device that would murder her. He'd brought his miserable cunt of an aunt by to try and entice her into giving up her kids. The words were seductive. Cole would live out his days in exile–safe–if she would give up her own life and that of her unborn second child. He swore that the undead were already slaughtering all the life on Ooo, telling her that the elementals would be all that was left before long. With no more information than what she'd seen and heard in his lair, it was hard not to believe it was true. Honestly, when Finn failed to come to her rescue, she couldn't help thinking that he was dead.

So here she was. As the hours and then the minutes ticked by, she thought of her friends and their mad little family, and she feared Cole was all that was left. She feared that there was no hope of a just vengeance for the destruction her brother and his allies had wrought. The only chance was for Cole to live. As the clock tolled the appointed hour, she found herself staring her decision in the face as her brother and his aunt came striding across the hall to her prison. "Have you made your decision," Flint asked? His voice was cold and hard. Bella smiled down at her child. She'd called Cole 'puny', infuriating Phoebe. At the same time, this was the moment. She could live–and see her children both die–or she could save Cole, Finn's last legacy.

Opening her mouth to speak, Phoebe was only able to utter, "I agr..." A tremendous explosion rocked the grand hall, shattering the floor, and dropping the would-be death-trap into the basement. Moments later, hundreds of heavily-armed soldiers came swarming up out of the depths with her cousin Randy at their head. Grabbing her baby before Bella could snatch him, Phoebe retreated to the back corner of her cell as chaos was let loose in the hall. Flint had expected an assault, but he hadn't expected _this_. They'd bypassed all his defenses and come straight in. It shouldn't have been remotely possible.

Rushing towards the breach, he was absolutely shocked to find the very creature he'd threatened to sanction that morning was standing there at the place where the blast had gone off. " _Traitor_ ," howled Flint. He would have struck down the hapless soldier, but Randy got in his way. "I'll finish him later," growled the Dictator, as he faced off against his pathetic cousin. Conjuring a massive blade of elemental steel, the violent, would-be murderer struck at his relation as hard as he could. The force of that blow nearly knocked Randy from his feet. Enraged, Flint struck at the younger man again and again and again, forcing him back and back and back.

Meanwhile, Bella had come around to the other side of the cage. "Give me that baby," growled Bella! "Fuck you," snapped Phoebe! "You think that wimp stands a chance against Flint," shouted the older woman?! "Better chance than you stand of taking my child, bitch," Phoebe shouted back! The old bitch actually reached into the cage and tried to snatch Cole away, seeming to _dare_ Phoebe to respond. Phoebe played defense, doing her best to shield the boy from the evil woman who would have taken him. Now she knew she could _never_ have given her baby to Bella. The idea of Finn's son being raised by this evil harridan rocked her to her core.

Outside the cage, Flint had Randy on the floor of the hall, and he looked for all the world as though he were going to beat the younger man into the ground. Sprawled on the floor of the hall, doing his best to shield himself against Flint's savage blows, Randy feared he was a goner. "Pathetic weasel," snarled Flint! "How you even got this far is beyond me! You should have taken that water-bag and gone back south! You should have stayed out of this! Now she's dead! Does that please you, Rand?! Your little pet is dead! I wish I'd killed her myself! I wish I'd been there to see it!"

"You mean me," asked Shoko?

Flint jumped up and spun around to find that the creature he'd thought had died in the basement was very much alive. And an elemental. _How's that possible,_ he thought? But he had little time to ponder that. In short order, he was fighting Randy again. Only this time, Randy's pet was thrown in the mix. Flint was shocked at how powerful Shoko had become. In the background, the battle between the two armies slowly ground to a halt. The men who'd fought for Flint were loyal to the Dictator to a point. His decisions to strike against the outsiders pleased many. At the same time, Boris wasn't alone in the ranks in thinking that Flint was going beyond the pale in pursuing vendetta against his lawful overlord. When he'd proclaimed his intent to murder his own sister–even while she was pregnant–many had silently turned away from their blind loyalty. Now the question many in that chamber were asking was, 'is Flint worth my life?' For too many, the answer was 'no'.

Flint felt a thrill of stark fear as his army simply quit fighting. What did that say about his plans if his army wasn't willing to follow through on the strategy? He was terrified that, even did he win against this pair, he would still lose. There was only one hope of coming through this. Strength could paper over flawed morals and failing character. If he could project strength to them again, they would follow him. He had to kill his opponents, and now he redoubled his efforts.

Randy thrust his sword at his cousin, but Flint was still faster. Stepping inside Randy's strike, the big man grabbed the younger fellow by the arm, snatched him off his feet, and hurled him bodily through the air. Shocked and startled, Shoko hesitated a moment too long, and Flint cold-cocked her, flattening her on the spot. A dazed and battered Shoko found herself sprawled on the floor with her enemy poised over her with a sword at her breast. "You little bitch," growled Flint, as he raised his sword to finish her. It was a bad place to be. It would have been if not for the Mertens Clan's dreadful family secret.

In the blink of an eye, Shoko was standing behind Flint, her hand glowing white with heat. The young woman plunged her hand into Flint's back, burning through his iron armor and blasting his heart asunder. Screaming like a girl, Flint exploded from the inside out, bursting into sunmotes. A shout from Phoebe alerted Shoko to a threat from behind. She spun around to find Bella rushing towards her, a spear clutched in her hands. Reflexively, Shoko turned a blast of light on the older woman, blasting her into a flambit on the spot.

Groggy, Randy stumbled to the cage and flicked it off, freeing the Flame King from her prison. Climbing out of what might well have been her tomb, Phoebe shrugged off her cousin's words of concern in favor of rushing to Shoko's side. She knew exactly how dangerous the Quicksilver Curse was for an elemental. Snatching Cole's protective amulet from his neck, she immediately shoved it into Shoko's hands, preventing a devastating melt-down. Turning to Randy, she told her cousin, "take my son to his containment pod. It's in my quarters." Turning to Shoko, she said, "Flint's been working with the Lich's undead. They're planning to kill every living thing on Ooo. We've got to gather up the army. We've got to stop them." They had a great deal of work ahead of them. Shoko and Randy had spent days wrecking communications to prevent Flint from executing his plan. That would prevent _them_ from contacting the army too.

Back in the south, Finn's strategy session was winding up. Bonnie, Sarah, and Nadia had held the floor for the better part of an hour talking through scenarios for the robot army. The bottom line was that it was still not ready. They needed a good twelve hours to assure the ability to recall the army. That left two to three hours of fighting before the war-machine could take the slack. After absorbing savage losses to Blargetha's tanks, they had one hole card left. Trouble was, the Skywitch was a mess, and even Cherry could see it.

No sooner had the meeting ended than Maja was out the door. Finn spent a moment staring at the door before following. As Sakura moved to go after him, Cherry intercepted her. "I-I was going to ask him about the other witch... I-I've wanted to open relations... uh diplomatic..." Cherry knew _exactly_ what kind of _relations_ this wench wanted to open. It was the same kind her cow-titted friend had been trying to open since they got here. Soothingly, Cherry said, "he'll be back... We should talk about the Yakuza..." Truth Field Princess let herself be led back to the meeting table.

Outside, Finn had quickly spotted Maja in the gathering darkness. She was standing under a tree near the edge of camp. She was hurting, and he knew it. The War-Elephant was probably the only friend she'd ever had. The witch glared at him as he approached. Finn simply responded, "he was my friend too, Maja." The witch flinched. "I'm sorry," he said. "For what," she retorted? "H-he wanted to go... They all fucking do." But the monsters were the only creatures on Ooo to understand her. She was as alone as he'd been when Jake moved out.

The big man reached out and put a hand to her shoulder, finding that she was trembling a little, and he remembered her terror when he'd snatched her from Suadela's grasp. Maja jerked away from him. "It's ok to be scared, Maja," Finn advised. She answered him with a ready retort, "what the fuck would you know about it?!" Coming up alongside her, he said, "everybody's scared. It's the end of the world. There's nobody who isn't scared..." "You don't seem to be," she replied. She'd meant it to come out in her usual biting tone, but it sounded weak and tenuous even to her own ears. "I fear failing my wives and kids," Finn replied. "I fear giving my everything and finding out it just wasn't enough. Been there a couple times." Ironically, both times had been against his dad. His evil bastard of a father had gotten the upper hand on him twice.

"I can't kill my way out of this," the witch sighed. "I can't conjure a monster big enough for this." There wasn't a clever plan to address what was coming. There wasn't an artifact that could simply eliminate the horde of undead in one fell swoop. There was just mortality, staring her in the face, and she was terrified. He could _hear_ the distress in her voice. "M," he said. She turned to face him, her face gone bleak. For once, she wasn't the inscrutable witch of the east. For once she wasn't the great terror waiting in the wings to destroy all he loved. She was a vulnerable, frightened woman staring her own death in the face. The big man reached out and pulled her to him, slipping his arms around her.

She was trembling so badly, he felt sad for her. He'd faced this down what? Half a hundred times now? The Lich four times now. His dad and the Devourer. Darren the Sleeper. Orgalorg. The Vampire King and his court. He'd faced all those things. It was almost as though death had become part of him, and he rarely thought of it anymore. He only thought of failing those he'd come to care for because even his own mortality hardly seemed to matter. Just now, he saw this woman not as an awful and implacable enemy but as one more vulnerable soul facing the end of all things.

Seeming to realize what she was doing, Maja jumped back from him, her eyes gone wild and her face gone hot. Stalking towards her, Finn grabbed her by her hair and jerked her face towards his, locking his lips to hers. When she put her hands against his chest to push him away, the big man shoved the witch up against the tree and stuffed his tongue into her mouth. At the same time, his strong left hand began to stroke her right thigh, slowly working its way up. Surprised and a little frightened, the witch caught his wrist as his hand would have slipped under her dress. She was panting in terror and something else when he let her come up for air, but Finn was already moving on.

Maja whimpered as his lips nibbled at her throat, and his knee shoved hers apart. His big right hand came up and grabbed a handful of her firm left booby through the soft silk of her dress and gave it a squeeze–letting her know it was there–before beginning to gently stroke and caress the heaving mound. The witch gasped for breath as the big man had his way with her. Jerking her dress open, he glanced down to find her pointy nips staring back at him above the soft black lace of a red pushup bra. "Sexy," he whispered, just before he pressed his face against her boobies and began to lick and suck at them. "Aaauunn," whined Maja, and her hand let go his wrist. In short order, he had a big handful of her meaty ass, squeezing and stroking the heavy mass through the soft, silky panties she was wearing. Finn's left hand joined his right as he went from one plump knocker to the other, teasing and tormenting them. By now Maja was shuddering and whining, and she didn't resist at all as he slowly slipped the matching red-and black panties off her broad hips.

The witch was practically dripping as he began to caress her hot gash, and Maja pressed her face against his shoulder and began to whine and moan into his chest. At the same time, her fingers fumbled at his belt before finally just going for his fly. Feeling her fumble at it, the big man reached down and pulled the heavy mass out for her, depositing it in her hand. Women wanted things, right? And they didn't like 'no'. Grabbing her by the thighs, Finn hoisted her into the air and pressed her back against the tree. As his pecker touched down against her hot opening, Maja threw her legs around his middle and held on.

Pressing her face into the crook of his neck, she screamed bloody murder as he jabbed the fat meat-stick inside her pussy. His cock slowly eased inside, causing hot Maja-cream to come dripping down. It was like his pecker knew the way as it quickly slipped in to fill his erstwhile mortal-enemy's snatch. The evil bitch wrapped those long legs around him, and her hands clawed and clutched at his back as he fucked her hard and fast. "So good," she whimpered. At the same time, he continued to toy with her heaving boobies, nipping at them as if trying to catch them in his teeth.

Her climax came fast, and she screamed into his chest. Finn never let up, though. He kept on banging her, hard as he could. He knew she liked it a little on the rough side. She and Emeraude were alike that way. He was rough with her body, his fingers clamping on that magnificent ass like a vice, pinching her bottom-meat hard enough that she would have bruises in the morning. His hips slapped into hers over and over. The nasty woman was going crazy, screaming and clawing at him, while her body shook and shuddered. Release came a second time, while he was pulling at her right nip with his teeth. Freaked out, Maja clawed bits of meat out of his neck and shoulders as she went over. In spite of the pain of that, Finn found his release too, shooting off in her like a hose.

The Sky Witch wobbled there a moment when he let her down again. Face flushed and looking perilously like she'd fall on her face, Maja gulped lungfuls of air. Finn drew her to him and held onto her to keep her from falling down. Trembling a little as her body slowly calmed down, the witch sighed, "why didn't you do it that night? You could have just done it that night..." She hadn't been able to stop thinking about that night. They'd danced and played chess, and he'd taught her Card Wars. It was the most male attention she'd gotten in two centuries and the most fun she'd had in three. Feeling the warm, gentle touch of his hands stroking her body was starting to get her hot all over again. "You could have just taken me in a corner and _fucked_ me, if you wanted," she sighed. She'd gone back to her hotel room disappointed that he hadn't.

Those words astonished him, but at the same time, he knew there was chemistry there. He'd felt it that night, even when he _hadn't_ felt it with Ingrid. At the same time, the moment was cathartic. They'd had something of a breakthrough. Taking her by the wrist, he dragged her towards the rough tent that was her sleeping quarters at the moment. Her face was hot, and her eyes darted this way and that, as she wondered who might have heard or seen them. Finn spent no time at all on the questions. Leading her inside, the big man turned and immediately began stripping her, jerking her dress open the rest of the way so as to bare that beautiful body in all its glory. Pulling her towards him, the big man got a double-handful of that big, bubble-butt, squeezing and stroking it, while he kissed her insistently.

The witch found herself falling. She'd never known such anguish as she'd felt when he'd embraced another woman before her very eyes. When she'd needed his touch, he'd turned his attention to someone else, and she'd felt like her heart was being crushed again. As Finn was practically devouring her, she began to undress him–stripping off the armor, unbuckling his sword and tossing that aside, and then getting to grips with his clothes. Moments after his left boot found itself in the corner of the tent, they were kneeling on the lousy lying bed she kept here, Finn caressing her boobies and necking with her.

She was hungry for this. After the pain of watching him walk away earlier, she wanted this like nothing she'd wanted before. Maja pushed the big man over on his back and straddled his hips. Rubbing her snatch up and down his fat dick, she sighed, "much better than that fucking wizard." That fucking loser had barely satisfied her at all, and then he'd admitted to cheating on his vampire girlfriend before running off. Finn's face went hot. _Ash!_ The big man sat bolt upright, muttering curses about that fucking bastard and wishing he could have been the one to tear the wizard to pieces. "Shut _up_ , Finn," growled Maja as she slowly eased down his pecker once more. "Do you know when to fucking stop talking?!" She shoved him back on his back and held him there as she slowly eased down until he was buried inside her warm oven.

She didn't want to hear words. Words often held lies. She wanted the strange, wordless communication that they'd shared in Emerald Kingdom. Leaning down, she told him with her lips how much she wanted him. Grinding her hips against his, she told him how much she hungered to feel his touch. Reaching up, Finn began to stroke and caress her firm boobies, teasing the hard tips and raising goose-flesh. "Ooooh," she moaned, throwing back her head. His hands told her that she was a worthy mother to have his babies. His lips told her that it would delight him to see her suckling their child.

The feel of her hot oven as she had climax after climax, had him wanting to give her both barrels. It was hard to hold out when he'd spent so much time and energy these last weeks rushing about. Feast or famine as always. If he was with one of his ladies, they were all there, but it seemed that the moment one was pulled away, they all were. Holding out against the feel of her body, the big man focused on shattering her spirit with the feel of his love-making. Maja would sometimes stop, press her face into the crook of his neck, and scream. Other times, she clawed him hard enough to take bits of meat out of his shoulders and arms.

Tired of being shredded, the big man threw her on her back, pinning her arms above her head. Hips surging against hers, he began to ride her like a trampoline, causing the witch to thrash and scream anew. Back arching, body going stiff, Maja had a climax that left her seeing stars before her eyes. Finn lost it then, shooting off like a firehose, causing another shock of pleasure to shoot through her. She shook so hard, she nearly threw him off.

As her body slowly relaxed, the big man stroked and caressed her feverish flesh, soothing and calming her. His lips nipped at her ear while he rubbed his hardened shape against hers. It was like nothing she'd ever had before. As she basked in the glow, the big man put his lips to her ear and whispered, "tell me... Who is Maja?" It was a mad question. With everything that lay between them, it was all the more insane. Rolling on his back, he pulled her in tight and whispered, "tell me the story..." His hands teased the minute ridges of her spine, sending shivers through her body. It wasn't 'I love you'. It wasn't 'be my bitch'. At the same time, it was something more dangerous. With a wordless sob, the witch began to cry. Moments later, it all began to spill out.

Back in the makeshift headquarters, Breezy returned from her 'find Finn' expedition. Half of Finn's mad family was still awake. Bonnie, Sarah, and Nadia were feverishly working on the war-machine. Cherry sat watching, face unreadable. Star and her mother lay sleeping nearby, while Simone and Betty sat meditating–gathering strength. As the Queen Bee came into the shelter, Breakfast approached with a smirk on her face. It was obvious what _she_ thought Breezy had been doing. It helped not at all that Breezy wanted that herself. "Where's Finn," she asked? Flushing, Breezy answered, "uh..." "Keeping Maja on topic," interrupted Cherry. Her voice was cold, and Breezy thought she _knew_ what Finn was doing.

Breakfast was still pretty far up Cherry's shit list. Face hot, she made an excuse about checking in with Fionna and scooted out of there. "I don't like it," said Cherry, "but if it keeps her from running away, so be it..." Breezy found herself blushing again. "Are you going to be a fool," asked Cherry? "Your husband is a jealous ass, and he already thinks you cheat on him..." The Queen Bee's jaw came unhinged, but Cherry clearly had her own ideas about why Breezy had followed Finn. Her eyes seemed to suggest that nobody would bat an eye if she dumped Barton for Finn. The temptation grew in Breezy's heart. There was a real risk that none of them were going to be alive after tomorrow, so what did it matter if she was faithful? But she knew Finn would turn her away. He'd made that clear.

Morning found Baozhai Ngan, laying in her boyfriend's powerful arms, feeling the heat of his body against hers. "Mmm," she sighed, as she savored that feeling. He'd gone at her like a _beast_ last night, ravaging her over and over. She was a little sore but definitely satisfied. She just hoped her uncle didn't find out. It would be a beating then. He would beat her within an inch of her life if he found she'd even thought of letting a boy do it to her. The idea that she'd taken a risk like this...

"He's going to kill you, Maja," said the voice. "You know he's going to kill you. Unless you kill him first." The young woman sat up with a start, and her eyes fell on her boyfriend, who now stared up at her with sinister eyes. She stared back and found herself whispering, _but he loves me._ "He'll cut your heart out," said the voice. "You hurt the ones he loves most, Maja. You threaten his bitches. He'll make an end of you. They'll always come first." Maja the Skywitch awoke with a start with sinister laughter ringing in her ears. Shaking off the terror of that moment, she turned to find Finn standing there beside their rough bed, watching her.

"Did you sleep well," he asked? There was a strange note to his voice that sent shivers down her spine, as she sat up to face him. For a long while, they stared at each other, saying nothing. His eyes suggested that there was a truth to her dream. His creepy staring sent her climbing out of bed and into her clothes. When she'd dressed, she went outside. He'd stared at her the whole time, and far from making her feel sexy, she'd felt... _danger_. It didn't make sense.

Following her outside, Finn stood there in the door of her tent, still staring at her. That was starting to unnerve her. "You hurt Toaster," said Finn. "Maybe it was Wildberry that sent those dudes into that cell, but you were there holding the leash. You hurt Beeps... Nobody should have to see that happen to their sister. Nobody should have to listen to that." Maja's mouth came open, and she shut it again. Ticking off grievances on his fingers, he said, "all those people who went crazy from that stuff Wildberry puts out... That's on you too. That doesn't get into Billy and Ragnhild and Abeiuwa and all that shit they're going through right now..." As he listed each injured person, he took a step forward. Maja found herself backpedaling before him, her heart pounding with terror. Her hands tried to form a witch-bolt, but nothing came.

Finally, she backed right into the a tree–the same one where he'd made love to her. She _felt_ the bite of the strange grass sword as it cut deep into her chest. She could feel it driving up under her sternum to pierce her heart. The pain shot up her spine like electrified bolts of pure agony. "I'm sorry I didn't get to kill you before this," said Finn, "but this way's better. Let you feel what it's like to be betrayed and hurt like they were." Twisting that blade in her innards, the big man said, "Marceline's waiting on you. She's waiting with all kinds of neat stuff. The demons are going to be gnawing your bod in a few moments..."

Maja shot up out of the darkness, sitting up with a start of sheer panic. Wiping beads of sweat from her forehead, she searched the dim light and found Finn standing near the door of the tent. "You dreamed," he said. "Like in Emerald Kingdom." She'd thought he'd been too deeply asleep to notice. "Tell me," he said, "what did you dream of?" Suspicious, she pinched herself and very nearly yelped when she found she was awake. His blue eyes burned into hers, and she thought of the dream. He would kill her. He would. The big man knelt beside the rough pallet they'd spent half the night screwing on. Cupping her face in one massive hand, he said, "tell me..." The witch flinched away from him, but he pressed her, brushing back her coal-black hair. "There's a voice," she croaked. "Nothing more than that. It... calls to me..." "Does it ask you to do anything," he asked? "What's it to you," she snapped? "It's just a fucking dream! I don't know why you're still here!"

Taking her face in his hands, Finn said, "this is the last day, M. Last throw of the dice. They're gonna bring up the war-machine, and either we'll fall or we'll live. You've got a choice..." Her eyes burned into his, and she jerked free of his grasp. "Get out," she spat! "Go back to your bitches!" Instead, he said, "I had them bring you some water. I'll be outside when you're ready..." A strangled sob left her lips. Taking her face in his hands, resting his forehead against hers, he whispered, "breathe, M. Just breathe, ok. Come out when you're ready." Kissing her forehead, Finn rose, grabbed his shirt, and went out into the morning sun. He could vaguely hear the sounds of Maja cleaning up. His mind was on Phoebe and their kids.

He wasn't sure when it happened or if it was another side-effect of the nanobugs, but he'd started to compartmentalize his life like that. This was the time he had to think about his missing wife and babies. In a few minutes, they'd be dealing with Suadela's goons, and there just wouldn't be the time. While he was worrying at his family's problems–trying to figure out how to get Cherry to let go her grudge against Beeps and considering buying some bug milk to go look in on Marcy–the second biggest problem of all came out of her tent.

She was dressed in a sky-blue number today. That little blue dress hugged tight to her body, emphasizing the sway of her hips, and flashes of shimmering cloth from her cleavage suggested she'd put on something sexy underneath. At the same time, she wouldn't meet his eyes as he approached, seeming almost as though she were shy. Voice steady and calm, he said, "thank-you for coming, Maja. Thank-you for keeping your word." She flushed to her hair thinking of last night's _reward_. She'd teased him about her being _available_ to him, but he was the one having the laugh.

Moving on past that awkward moment, Finn asked, "how long can the monster hold out?" "He's mostly dirt and rock," sighed Maja, "but he's animated by plant matter... fungus. Little bits of this and that." "Meaning that they can eventually rot him," Finn rumbled. The witch nodded. Just so. "The cyborg's forcefield will keep them at bay for a little while," she said, "until they can get under his feet or something." "We just need a couple hours," Finn said. "Hold them a couple hours, M. For all of creation." Her face went hot, and she said, "it's crazy to think about _me_ protecting creation." Finn laughed, but it was true. His hand brushed her face in the intimate way a man touches a woman he cares for–a touch she'd never felt before this. "The voice wants me to make war," she said. Finn frowned at her. Glancing away, she said, "I... was happy in my dreams... I had everything I wanted in my dreams. The voice wouldn't leave me alone. It kept warning me that you were going to kill me. The only way I could live was to get you first." Finn muttered curses. Theo. Again. Still.

Taking her by the shoulder, Finn spun the older woman around and said, "I promise you this. I have no need or desire to hurt you. I just want you to take responsibility for your crimes, M. I want you to face up to what you've done and make proper payment for it, but I don't want to hurt you." The witch swallowed. Brushing her lips with the tip of his finger, the big man said, "we'll talk about this when it's over. How you'll go in. What you're going to plead. I've... got a little power. I promise, I'll visit you every moment I can. You won't be alone. You'll... You'll have time for your experiments." This time, when he slipped his arms around her, she didn't push him away. Standing on her toes, Maja kissed him, losing herself in the _natural_ feel of that. No anger. No greed. Just the quiet _peace_ of his presence.

The watcher seethed at the sight of that. He'd chosen _her_. He'd chosen the fucking witch! He'd chosen that evil old bitch, seducing her like she was some great prize to be won! He'd spent the entire night with her, rolling around in her arms! Seeing red, the watcher wanted nothing more than to jab her knife to the hilt in that evil bitch's heart. _Just like you did with mommy,_ asked the voice? _I'm going to kill her,_ Ingrid retorted. _I'm going to kill her and let her know who did it!_ The voice chuckled, _you know what he'll do when he finds out you killed his plaything, Princess? She told him all about how much she hates and fears you all. She told him about all the times a_ princess _backstabbed her._ But Ingrid wanted Maja to die. Her woman's pride wanted Maja's scalp because it had been so _easy_ for the witch to win Finn's love.

Stepping back from the witch, Finn said, "two hours, babe. Watch yourself. Stay on point." The big man caught a tear before it would have smeared her makeup. "We'll talk," he said, just before he walked away. Maja stood staring at his retreating back for a long while. Her mortal enemy. Loved her. The dream was an illusion because the man who was fated to end her life seemed to want more than anything to protect it–to cherish and nurture it. She hadn't felt this since she'd been a very young child in her mother's arms. Her heart wanted to soar, and she found herself fighting that feeling. A part of her was utterly terrified of this, but there was no denying what she'd felt that first night. _One thing at a time, Maja,_ the witch told herself. _Get through this day. You don't get the prince if you get killed by those fucking piles of goo._

As she turned to go to her post, the Skywitch almost ran straight into the dead woman. Maja found herself fetching back a pace. This woman was supposed to have died. Maja had read the news of it on the day it happened. Ingrid the Warrior Princess was supposed to be long dead and buried. A shiver of fear went through the witch, and she found herself wondering if this woman was in league with Finn's enemies. She could very well be undead. Maja had never been able to figure out where the undead attacking Sourberry's kingdom were coming from. Face cold, Ingrid rumbled, "well... you seem to have made an impression on our husband." Maja shivered at the sound of her voice. It sounded _familiar_ somehow.

The warrior woman advanced. Maja barely even realized she was moving, but the princess drove her back and back without once touching her. "You think you can just sleep with _our_ husband," growled Ingrid? "Huh? Is that it? You throw your legs open for business like a whore, and it all gets swept away." Face gone hot, Maja offered, "I... we... I promised that I'd surrender. I-I'll make amends..." The warrior woman laughed in her face. "You can't make amends to the Mafia Princess, bitch," Ingrid hissed. She punctuated each word by jabbing Maja in the chest with a hard, mail-clad finger. "You killed her husband," Ingrid hissed. "You killed her first husband, and she ain't ever gonna' let that go. She was willing to burn the Candy Kingdom to the ground over it. You think Finn can talk her down from that? We _own_ him, bitch. We voted, and we're not letting your bitch ass in." Knowing no better solution, Maja fled from her.

 **And Flint is gone. Another thread is finished. Hopefully that was epic enough for everybody.**


	47. Chapter 47

Chapter 47:

The Flame King stalked into the Fire Kingdom's communications station to find Boris and his men feverishly working to restore what had been smashed. They'd been at it all night. Having finally learned of all the endless entreaties from Ragnhild's people, Phoebe had sent envoys out to the Frozen Yogurt Kingdom to find out what was going on. Her messengers had returned with a tale of terror, having found the capitol city nearly empty, with only those unable or unwilling to move still present. Those few had told a horrifying tale of liquid death flowing across the land, annihilating all in its path. The Princess had gone with all the troops she had left to join the King of Ooo in one last battle for the fate of the planet. Phoebe knew very well what that meant. The Dipped were on the move.

Crawling out from under one of the cabinets, Shoko climbed to her feet, looking thoroughly wrung out. She hadn't been well-rested _before_ Flint's attempt to murder her in her lab. The intervening time had done little to help that. When she hadn't been scheming with Randy and their unwilling allies, she'd been spying on Flint. Phoebe wanted badly to send her to her rest, but there just wasn't time. Honestly, seeing Bonnie's daughter wobbling there as if she might fall on her face, Phoebe came to understand some of how Cherry got pulled into _their_ orbit. Phoebe herself had to admire the children Finn had raised. They were brave and dedicated–heroes themselves in every sense of the word. How could you _not_ love children like this. At the same time, she was horrified to think that she was burning up Shoko's life much as they'd burned Fionna, Star, and Billy's lives.

"Just finished," said Shoko. "The parts we removed were key components, but they weren't so delicate that the machinery's irreparable." "Sit," said Phoebe. "Rest. That's an order." Flushing–all the moms seemed to do this sort of thing–Shoko nonetheless did just as bidden. Phoebe turned her attention to Boris, who was standing with a headset to his ear, while he carefully tuned the transceiver. "The news isn't good," he said. "Massive casualties in Elbow Kingdom and Wildberry Kingdom, My King." "Can we transmit," asked Phoebe? "Almost there," said the master engineer.

Phoebe knew a terror such as only Simone had known. The world was on the edge of destruction, and she could scarcely decide between worry over that and worry over Finn. She felt all of a fool. She was an impulsive fool, and she felt as if she was partly responsible for this mess. If she'd been careful... Shoko came to her side and whispered, "everybody's a little selfish from time to time. The real villains here are Flint and Wildberry for keeping these pointless feuds stirred up." "Obvious, huh," Phoebe murmured? Shoko smiled. The Flame King wasn't the only person focused on personal matters these last few months.

Turning back to Boris, Phoebe asked, "anything?" Boris replied, "it took a solid two weeks to align the array when we built it. I'm afraid it can't be put back into service in a few minutes..." They had been far more concerned with preventing Flint from executing his plan than with recovering the system afterwards. Decisively, Phoebe turned to Randy and said, "gather the troops. We leave within the hour." If she couldn't _call_ Finn, she'd go find him.

Back in the south, the rest of the family was meeting one last time to confer before thc battle that would settle the world's fate. Cornering her daughter, Betty broached the topic that no-one had been willing to touch the previous evening. "You didn't tell me you were pregnant," said Betty. She did her best not to sound accusing. "We all had too many worries," Simone replied. "I knew the risks." Which the older woman knew was true. Forcing the frown away from her face, Betty asked, "how long?" With a shrug, the Ice Queen replied, "three months."

With a chuckle, Betty said, "I'd wondered why you went back to the big, flowing dresses..." Simone flushed. She'd been _born_ with that style, but she'd quickly adopted a more modern style, and Betty had encouraged that, pressing her to be more modern and worldly. Secretly, Simone liked the style she'd been _born_ into. More to the point, the big, poofy dresses hid her slowly growing belly–and kept their husband from losing his shit at a time where their problems were having puppies. Reaching out, Betty slipped her arms around her daughter and hugged her. "Kind of a crazy family, aren't we," she said with a laugh. "We are," agreed Simone, "but that's the best kind."

Finn blew onto the scene just then. Nearly all of the family was there, and their friends were all gathered. "Where's Maja," asked Cherry? "Getting the Bear ready," said Finn. They would need him today. Especially with Talia out of action. Nadia reported, "Sarah and Bonnie are conducting the last diagnostic, Finn. Two hours. Shorter if they can, but two hours is what we're looking at." Which they'd already told him. "Maja knows what she needs to do," said Finn. "We need to focus on backing her up. Fionna?" "Here, daddy," said the pretty blonde. Finn told his beloved baby girl, "protect Adler as much as you can, Fi, but be careful..." "...not to disrupt the soul-crystal," Fionna replied. "I know, father." Her tone suggested he should teach his grandmother to suck eggs.

Turning to the others, Finn said, "I want the rest of you out of here. If you're not in the fight, I want you at the airfield, ready to split. If this doesn't work, you're our last hope." His eyes suggested there had better not be any arguments. "Breezy, I need as much warning as I can get," said Finn. "On it," she said. Giving him a peck on the cheek, she flew off to join her troops as the others began to disperse. Finn found himself alone with Simone.

There was a light of love and affection in his eyes as he faced the best piece of his life. "I'm proud of you," he told her. Slipping his arms around her, he said, "need you to hang back today." She knew what he was going to tell her. It was the same thing he'd told Nadia, once upon a time. "I've left instructions," she sighed. "Wizard City will take in all we can. Just in case." Finn nodded. Stroking her long, pale hair, he said, "thank-you for being there for me all these years... I don't know what karma I earned to have you fall in my life, but every moment's been a blessing. I died when that monster took you away." Stepping back, she took his rough, battered face in her hands and said, "just make sure you don't let his pets take _you_ away from _me_." And without a further word, she vaulted into the sky, flying away before their emotions took control of them.

When Finn glanced down from watching Simone leave, he found himself staring the Biggest Problem of All square in the eye. "Hey," he greeted Ingrid. She was dressed for battle, as if she were going in at his side. Trouble was, he wouldn't have trusted her there even if it would have made a difference. A lot of things had fallen into place when he spoke to Maja earlier. He'd wondered who could have dragged Geeps back from beyond. He'd guessed Maja early on. Now he was absolutely, _dreadfully_ certain it was Theo. Just as he knew it was Death that had hassled Maja, he was now certain it was his old buddy behind Ingrid, pulling the strings. He could even see how the plan was supposed to work. If the flake hadn't tried Cherry already, he probably would have gone after _her_.

Striding forward, the big man said, "I'm glad you're on your feet again. Everybody was worried." "This is the end," she reminded him. "Yeah," he agreed, "but not for you..." At her frown, Finn said, "if I fall, I need you to be there for them. Get the country evacuated, best you can. Keep the princesses on topic." Her face suggested disappointment. Her eyes suggested something else. Nodding, she swore she'd get it done. Kissing her plush lips, the big man turned and walked away. _He knows,_ said the voice. Ignoring the voice in her head, Ingrid the Warrior Princess headed west, following the Hero-King's useless playthings.

The army was arrayed in a broad funnel before the vast canyon that the undead had created. The ice still lay thick on the stone floor of the canyon, entombing smashed tanks and the mindless undead alike. The Dipped were cunning though. It was a certainty they would be on the attack soon enough. Just as the thought crossed his mind, his phone began to ring. Drawing it from his pocket, he found that it was Breezy calling. "Go," he said. "Activity down below," said the Queen Bee. "Looks like they're on the move, babe." "Numbers," he asked? After a pause, Breezy replied, "it's looking like she lost a lot of the mindless undead creatures they used yesterday." There were still substantial numbers down there, but nothing like the endless rolling wave of _death_ Suadela had thrown at them.

Finn toted the odds up in his head. The murdered forest animals were the most dangerous. They went straight at his troops and didn't stop or swerve no matter how much firepower was thrown at them. If Suadela was out of her terrible _weapons_ , that gave them a chance. "What was that," Finn asked his friend? "Do I engage," asked Breezy? "Not yet," said Finn. "Matter of fact... I want your guys to pull back. Backup Maja." "Roger," she replied, as she signed off. He was hedging his own bets. People he cared for were in danger, and though the whole wide world was teetering on the edge of ruin, he wasn't quite ready to sacrifice those lives.

The undead came pouring over the ice-jam at eight that morning. They came in the hundreds–an oily black mass that seemed to flow towards the defenders like a flood. His last few tanks threw down immediately, raining fire and fury on the Dipped. Finn padded back and forth in nervous anticipation. Somewhere ahead of that mass, Fionna and Maja stood waiting. His daughter was in jeopardy. Little Mona's mom was risking herself one last time. Honestly, moments like this, he understood Simone's angst. He was intimately aware of how much he loved his daughter and how great was the risk that she wasn't coming out of this.

Down in the packed mass of undead, a very frustrated Suadela fumed. She'd spent the night extricating her army from a tomb of glacial ice. Though things had started well, and she'd been delighted with the slaughter of the underground dwellers they accidentally discovered, the day ended in disaster. She'd had to abandon many of her weapons under the ice, and her belated attempts to call Flint had failed with the operator claiming damage to the circuits. The undead princess had been tempted to break off the campaign just to murder the operator.

 _The machines are gone,_ she thought. They'd destroyed most of them yesterday. This was the chance they had been waiting for. The machines had wrought a horrendous toll on her troops, but they'd smashed the majority yesterday. There were only a handful of fools in the way, and her army was still near its full strength even after days of battle. She hungered to reach the enclaves bordering the coast. There were sooo many sweet little candy citizens to Dip or put to the sword. She ached to _empty_ Bonnibel's happy little kingdom. She intended to take it down to bare stone! This very day! Onward the undead rushed, making straight for the soldiers gathered for slaughter.

They had barely crossed a quarter of the field when a tremendous _thing_ burst forth from the dark earth. The fearsome beast immediately laid into the onrushing undead with blasts of incandescent fury from its ruby eyes. Creatures so struck vanishing in bursts of green light. Just as they'd practiced this, the conglomerated mass of undead scattered, becoming much harder to hit. The beast of earth and stone blasted away, hurling those bolts of death again and again, but the Dipped just kept coming. Two hundred yards. Then a hundred yards. They were coming full speed now. Just as the first of the undead reached the creature's ponderous feet, a glistening wall of crystal sprang up. A second Dipped hurled itself bodily at the creature's massive leg, and a shimmering disk of energy knocked it aside.

Up on the beast's massive shoulders, Fionna the Human Girl focused as she'd never focused before, emptying her thoughts of all the turmoil and conflict of the last year or so. She was in a strange place just now–a world where there was no Patrick and no Mona. There was only the whispers from the earth beneath her. Jagged shards of glass sprang from the dirt-creature's massive front paws, as the unearthly beast took massive swipes at the undead. Sparkling green motes of energy danced among those shards, and where that strange energy touched, rents in the fabric of reality appeared, annihilating the undead on contact, erasing them from the string of parallel universes in all their forms and guises.

Floating high above, Maja directed the beast's every move, controlling and commanding it, willing it to fight on as the undead struck at its heels and flanks again and again. She was amazed that the child could stay with the monster through all of that. Adler would twist and turn, his head becoming his tail and vice-versa, but somehow Fionna stayed right where she was, riding the monster as if he was a simple horse. The witch could feel the strange energies the younger woman was working with, and she found herself hoping she could spend some time with the child, learning how it was that Finn's daughter did what she did. It didn't matter that they were mortal enemies–had been–it was knowledge that Maja lacked, and she was eternally hungry to _know_. _Later,_ the witch admonished herself. There would be no time for experiments and study if they lost. They wouldn't even get to push up daisies.

Across the field, Suadela turned from the phone to the gun. Finn's soldiers had left a wealth of firepower on the ground over the previous days. In between bouts of manic, violent rage, the fallen princess had turned her mind towards how to make use of some of it. Now, with cyborg forcefields and crystalline walls swatting aside their every strike as her troops dueled the titanic war-beast, she sent several of them wide of the main body with dart-rifles and orders to kill whoever was behind the monster. The rest of the Dipped fell back towards the canyon in hope of drawing the monstrous Bear into following.

Maja knew the undead were up to something when she saw a few go sliding off. She knew they weren't giving up. They had the upper hand. _She_ wouldn't have retreated so easily. So what was their plan? Flying lower, she signaled Fionna. "Kind of busy," growled the young woman. Two groups of Dipped were trying for the Bear's legs at once. As Fionna erected crystal walls to stop one group while the Bear smashed the second, Maja declared, "they're up to something..." Fionna rolled her eyes. No shit? When _weren't_ these sickos up to something. Maja cussed her, insisting that she take this more seriously. "I'm taking this as serious as a sword in the gut," retorted the Glass Witch. "This isn't as easy as it looks..." Which mean that it would be _Maja_ trying to fend off the undead's next little parlor-trick.

What the Dipped were up to became apparent when two darts sliced Fionna's right leg below the knee. In short order, the Sky Witch was hurling bolts of incandescent hate at the undead while Fionna struggled to keep her seat. With her leg gashed and bleeding, it was a tough row to hoe. The enemy never ended their relentless assault. Indeed, they actually stepped things up, and Fionna had all she could do to keep the Dipped from slagging the Bear as she struggled not to fall. Maja was forced to divide the forcefields between blocking the snipers and protecting the Bear himself. The pair found themselves executing a fighting withdrawal as the undead snipers did their best to kill the Bear's two defenders.

Watching the battle from afar, Finn found himself torn. Every instinct inside him urged him to rush forward to save his baby girl's life. At the same time, if he fell, the war-machine would be unusable until Bonnie could attune it to a new master. The big man was forced to hang tough while his second child risked it all. When he was reduced to being nothing more than a _cheerleader_ , he finally gained some level of understanding of what his ladies went through. _C'mon,_ he silently urged. _Take it to them, Fi. You can do this..._

As the big man watched, Maja swooped and darted, laying into the snipers to protect the Bear as it laid on the pain for the undead. Finn could see her face in his mind–frightening intensity lighting her eyes as she hurled blasts of fire and light at the Dipped. _Hang on, M,_ he whispered. _Give them your worst._ Indeed, across the field, Maja was doing just that. She was finding her stride, letting go of the fear and uncertainty that had consumed her for months. She would be rewarded if she survived this. Finn was a man of his word, and he would reward her. She would have to face prison. That was a foregone conclusion. But a gilded cage was better than death, and she had time. _So do I dare ask for more,_ she thought? He'd promised a laboratory and books to read, but could she get more? What would she ask for? The thought came unbidden. _A child._ Would he give her that? A child to shape and mold.

As she was daydreaming, a bolt of incandescent malice came hurtling towards her. Glancing up at the last minute, she barely dodged that great gout of flame even as Shoko hurled another and another. One struck the Bear. Maja dodged a second. Fionna blocked a third, shouting, "watch what you're doing, dumbass!" Startled, Shoko pulled up short at the last minute. " _Fi_ ," howled the startled elemental?! "You're with _her_ now?" "Saving the world," snapped Maja. "Help or get out of the way!" Shoko found herself paralyzed by this surprising development. Maja and Fionna would have turned their attention back to the Dipped, but unfortunately the interruption proved too great. While the Bear's ernest defenders were distracted, three Dipped seized their chance. Rushing forward, they threw themselves on the Bear's right foot, expending their own bodies in an all-out assault. The Bear began to melt.

Before Finn's eyes, the titanic war-beast began to crumble. It started slow and then accelerated. His heart lurched in fear for his second child as the undead went for the kill. Lt. Steele rumbled, "say the word, sir..." He had developed a loyalty to Fionna, and he was all for rushing in right now. Grimly, Finn replied, "hold your position. I'm going to the war-machine..." Without a further word, he turned and went blipping across the land, while across the field, Fionna and Maja fought for their lives. Maja caught Fionna on the fly as she would have dropped straight into the arms of the Lich's minions. She found the musclebound wench much too heavy to carry though, and the pair crash-landed scarcely a hundred feet away.

A glob of undead rolled up, trying to swat Maja. Fionna blocked their strike with a crystal wall, while the witch blasted the Dipped going for Fionna's back. Shoko blazed by, unleashing a bolt of flame to boil away the glob Fi had just blocked, nearly scorching Maja in the process. "Watch it, globdammit," growled the witch! "She's not doing it on purpose," retorted Fionna! "Left flank!" "I see 'em," said Maja as she swatted the oozing dead squirming up on her left. The swarming undead surrounded them, doing their best to overwhelm the pair as Shoko blazed back and forth trying to save her sister's life. It quickly became clear to Maja, if not Fionna, that there was a definite bias there. Shoko was far more concerned with saving Fionna's life than Maja's. As she felt the heat from one too-close blast, the Sky Witch howled, "that felt kinda' personal to me!" Fionna retorted, "you were tryin'a kill us until a few days ago! Shaddup and fight! Sheesh!"

Finn rushed straight back to the headquarters, blipping into view and startling Sarah, who shrieked in terror. "Where's Bonnie," demanded the King of Ooo? "I cold-cocked her and Nadia and put them on a plane." She was alone here. Finn knew exactly what that was about. They were two peas in a pod that way. Moving past that, Finn asked, "the machine?" "Almost there," Sarah replied. She'd been at almost all night. As she returned to her work, Finn began to pace, muttering under his breath. "Not helping, babe," opined the sex-droid. The pacing was a distraction. She knew the risk as well as he did. A sheepish Finn stopped where he was.

Back on the battlefield, Fionna executed a neat spin move, sliced and diced an ooze-bro, and blocked the dude going for Maja's back. The undead were trying to separate them. Fionna knew exactly what the consequences of that would be. There was a reason her dad had always managed to beat her grampa in a fight. Wiz-dudes needed space to fight. Turning and ducking attempts to melt her, the bad bunny began fighting her way back to the witch's side. As she shouted the witch's name, bursts of flame erupted all around her. She looked up to see a number of elementals in the sky. At the same time, Steele's troops charged in, slamming into the ranks of the undead.

The nasty banana waded in, wearing an old suit of armor over a nice polyester jogging suit. Stabbing and thrusting with a magic spear, he got to grips with the undead, striving to save his friend's life. From above, Breezy's troops joined the fray, hurling bespelled javelins that scattered the undead on contact. Struggling through the press, Fionna shouted for Maja, screaming at her as the undead pressed in around her. The circling elementals unleashed another barrage, blasting many of the ooze-creatures asunder as Fionna struggled against the press to reach the older woman. There were too many bodies pressed in way too close to _jump_ without risking maybe killing herself or somebody else. "Maja," she shouted! But a second battle-pulse dragged them even further apart.

And then shit really hit the fan.

The first gobbet of muck struck a fire-wolf across his broad snout. The creature went from the world of the living to the dead without even a chance to squeal. One minute it was floating there in mid air, alive with flames coursing up and down it's dark flesh. The next minute, its remains were plummeting from the sky, taking the two elementals riding on it along for the ride. As the swarming elementals tried to reconcile what had just happened, a blot of liquid darkness struck one of them in the center of the chest, boiling away in an instant–but simultaneously snuffing the elemental's flame. The dead elemental tumbled from the saddle, landing with a dull thud on the ground. Chaos reigned as the Dipped hurled splatters of muck from their unholy dipping-vats at the enemies besieging them.

Taking a terrifying chance, Fionna micro-jumped into the first open space beside the witch. Maja very nearly flattened her. Fionna could see the terror in her eyes. The young heroine did her best to project calm. They were going to get through this. Her daddy had given his word that Maja would not be killed out of hand, and his word was Fionna's bond. Together, the pair fought on as the chaotic battle swirled around them with members of the banana-guard slowly falling as the battle raged on while elementals and bee-people occasionally fell dead from the sky. "We aren't getting out of this," rumbled Maja. Fionna chuckled. It didn't look real good. But she'd seen worse. She'd stared down the Lich himself. "This is our family, Maja," said Fionna. "We don't know the meaning of the word 'quit'." Suiting action to word, the Glass Witch waded in, getting down and dirty with their foes. With no other choices available, Maja did the same.

At the command post, Sarah finished the last of the diagnostics, finding that, in spite of their best efforts, there were still too many problems. The war-machine needed a complete overhaul. Weeks of sitting under the ice and then sitting in Talia's apartment, had done it no favors. As her husband paced, the android-girl drew her interface jack, plugged into machine, and opened herself to her figurative brother. "Finn," intoned Rattleballs. Finn, who'd returned to his pacing, spun around to find his wife speaking with the war-machine's voice. It was every bit as freaky and disconcerting as seeing the Lich speak through Simone's lips. He knew immediately what Sarah had done and why. Forcing his mind to keep moving and not seize up, the big man rushed over to the interface terminal.

His hand was halfway to Sarah's face when he stopped. Then holding his hand, palm down on the scanner, he cupped his lady's beautiful face and intoned, "Rattleballs, Acknowledge Warlord of Ooo, Authorization Simon 2031." Sarah's face constricted in her usual 'thinking' pose. Then, she said, "acknowledge Finn Mertens, Warlord of the Princess Privy Council and Knight-Commander of the Army of Ooo." "Access the solar satellite," Finn commanded. "Do you have the coordinates of the undead infestation?" "Processing," replied Rattleballs. "Infestation detected. Coordinates locked." "Activate the weapon-cells," Finn commanded. "Authorization Martin 3454. Strike. Strike. Strike." "Command acknowledged," the war-machine replied.

The last little knot of the Banana Guard was surrounded and backed into a corner when the machines came on the scene. They'd fought well, and none of them felt any shame at the way they'd performed. Fionna found herself at peace. In spite of the situation, she didn't fear death. She had done what she set out to do, buying time for the people of Ooo. She'd kept her dad's word and kept her own. If this was the end, it was a chance and a hope at a beginning for Mona.

One of the undead slipped out of the congealed mass surrounding the soldiers. As Fionna watched, the creature transformed. "Suadela," Fionna greeted her contemporary. "Fi," replied the undead. "Where's your dad?" With a shrug, the bad bunny replied, "putting together a surprise." Suadela laughed. "Don't know how he managed to take care of Flint," chuckled the Dipped, "but he's shot his bolt, girl. He can't save Ooo. I doubt he'll even be able to keep himself alive very much longer." Oozing forward until she was just a few feet from the blonde, Suadela murmured, "join me, Fi. I know you already understand what it's like to be cursed. Join me, and you can lay down this burden. We'll send the world to its rest..."

"Yeah, no," retorted the bad bunny. As an enraged Suadela tried to strike her down, Fionna encapsulated the nasty bitch in a globe of crystal. It was on then, as the undead rushed forward to their mistress's aid. Maja and the remaining elementals hurled blasts of flame and light at them, killing undead with each and every blast. It was going to be curtains for sure this time. Fionna prepared herself for death. It had been a pretty good run. Just like her dad, she had no regrets.

The war-machine announced itself with a barrage of gunfire. Laser-bolts boiled the mass of undead away, turning them into noxious vapor. The blasts of gunfire came thick as fleas on a dog as the deadly machines rushed into combat. Turning aside from their prey, the undead rushed to meet the new threat, again hurling their deadly weapons of corruption at their foes. The war-robots waded in, heedless of the undead assault. They might have been hurling spit-wads for all the robots seemed to care. Seeing that, the Flame King sent her remaining soldiers back into the fight, admonishing them to attack without mercy. It didn't take long for the fresh onslaught to turn the tide, and the now-leaderless undead finally broke and fled with the war-machines in hot pursuit.

As Rattleball's dudes went storming across the grass lands, tearing their way through the undead, Finn blipped into the presence of his remaining soldiers, grateful to find any of them still alive. It was an emotional moment, and the remaining troops were torn between sorrow and an infectious cheer. They were alive. When they had all assumed they were going to die, they were pleased to still be alive. Finn's mind was on his daughter, though. As the men cheered him or tried to touch him, the big man waded through the crowd, searching for Fionna and Maja.

Coming through the thickest knot of soldiers, he found himself faced with an unlikely sight. Wearing a smile a mile wide, Fionna came strolling up with a strange crystal cylinder floating along at her back. The leggy blonde greeted her father with a hug and a cheery, "hey, daddy!" Finn was too busy staring at the contents of the cage. "Tried to get me to join them," said Fi. Finn turned away from Alexia's daughter to find Maja there. Smiling, he reached out and cupped her pretty face. "She did great, daddy," said Fionna. With a wordless sob, the witch threw herself on him. Finn hugged her, whispering soothing words.

"What the fuck is _she_ doing here," demanded Phoebe? The Flame King alit from the fire-wolf that had carried her, Shoko alighting by her side. Turning away from the Sky Witch, Finn found his lady there wearing a scowl of rage. Unperturbed, the big man strode forward and snatched her off her feet. Anger turned to embarrassment turned to fear, as Phoebe pushed him away, saying, "I'm not stable, Finn." "I don't _care_ , Phoebes," Finn replied. She struggled out of his grasp and shoved him away, her eyes wild. "I thought I'd lost you," he said. "I thought something awful happened. We've been calling... _weeks_." Phoebe blushed to her hair. Shoko put in, "something _did_ happen, daddy. Flint tried to take over." Alarmed, the big man now wanted to go after Flint.

"Dead, daddy," sighed Shoko. "I... killed him." She was wearing Cole's necklace. And she was... an elemental. With a humorless chuckle, Shoko said, "it's a long story, daddy. I... It's what I've been working on all these months." When he would have hugged her, she gave him a sorrowful sigh and admitted, "I'm not stable either, daddy. I... I used the curse to kill Flint." It was active in her body even now. She could feel it trying to burn her up from the inside out. "We need to get you to Simone," said Finn. Phoebe howled, "the undead..." "Rattleballs will have them wrapped up today. I left instructions for him to pursue the Dipped and then melt down through the icecap on the canyon to burn up the mindless undead trapped underneath." In the now, he needed to take stock of his family and find out what was going on.

They headed back to the headquarters, with Breezy joining them on the way. She had massive casualties to report. A good third of her soldiers went down in the final fight. It was grim news, but pleasant compared to the threat just ended. Finn promised that he would see the families of the dead cared for. In the now, he needed her troops to help keep track of the Dipped. He wanted none to escape. Breezy headed off to see that done as the survivors trudged on. The little party reached the headquarters near ten that morning. Seeing Sarah there on the floor, Fionna would have rushed to her side. Finn stopped her, saying, "she's keeping the war-machine running..." Those soft words had an instant effect on Fionna. The bad bunny broke down and cried, blubbering into Finn's chest as he tried to comfort her. Seeing what everyone was thinking, Finn led them back outside. Phoebe looked stricken, her face contorted into a rictus, and he had to stop Shoko from going back inside. "It had to be done," he said. "Your mom couldn't get it running." "So we sacrifice _Sarah_ ," howled Phoebe?! Grimly, Finn retorted, "Sarah knows the risk, King of Fire! Do you?!" Phoebe glanced away.

Calm again, Finn said, "I need to have Sheila and Sakura stand down the rescue effort. Sit tight everyone. He left them outside and went into the tent. Upset as she was about using Sarah as nothing more than spare-parts, Phoebe wanted someone to suffer. Spying Maja there, the angry elemental stalked up to the witch and coldly told her, "you're responsible for all of this... You and Berry-Breath. You're going to _pay_." Fionna interposed herself between the pair, saying, "she's not responsible for the Dipped, stepmother. That's my burden. The Sky Witch bargained in good faith. Leave her be. We need to refashion my prison. I need your help." Glance at Shoko, and she added, "both of you..." Alarmed that Fionna was still blaming herself for Penny's evil acts, both elementals immediately set out in pursuit. A distraught Maja simply wandered away.

Finn spent over an hour taming the chaos, apprising his allies of the outcome of the battle and gathering up the scattered and displaced people who'd been pulled into this. When he returned outside, he found Phoebe, Shoko, and Fionna hard at work on the containment unit that housed Suadela. The fallen princess stood inside, arms crossed, looking resigned. He wasn't sure why Fionna was bothering with that or what they would do with the last of the undead. In the now, he needed to talk to his wayward Sky Witch. Maja was still in a fragile state of mind, and he needed to get that squared away.

Unfortunately, as he scanned the scene, his beautiful tragedy was missing. Striding up to Lt. Steele, he asked, "where's Maja?" A bee-person replied, "I saw the witch over near the glacier..." Where there could still be undead lurking. Alarmed, Finn was literally gone in the blink of an eye. Phoebe was startled by his haste, but she hadn't been here. "She fought as hard as anyone," said Fionna. "She almost ate it down in the canyon trying to slow those guys down." As the pretty blonde explained what had happened, an airship landed nearby. Shortly, Bonnie and Nadia came down the ramp with cold-compresses clamped against their aching heads. It would have made Fi laugh if Sarah wasn't laying there in the dirt while Rattleballs made use of her circuitry.

Simone and Emeraude shepherded them along as the little group approached. Bonnie immediately lit into Phoebe for worrying them all, but the Flame King's absence quickly became trivial in the face of Shoko's _change_. As her mother opened her mouth to go on a tear, Shoko said, "you would have stopped me... I... needed to do this." The bubblegum princess burst into tears. In short order, Simone, Emeraude, and Nadia were all hugging her.

Across the field at the glacier, Maja stood staring into the canyon. He'd saved her life there. Deep inside, she knew he'd be as good as his word. He would protect her.

Until they killed him over it.

She'd been saving the toxin. Ironically brewing it was the first thing she'd done after waking up. She'd meant it for _him_ , but increasingly she saw _herself_ as the problem. When you got down to it, she should have been a pile of moldy bones in the woods. The world would be a better place. As she was screwing up her courage–to do what needed to be done–a familiar voice demanded, "M! What're you doing?" With a heavy sigh, she turned and said, "solving a problem..." Those ominous words drew his eyes to the strange glowing phial in her hands. He knew immediately that it was some kind of poison.

"M," said Finn. "Babe, we had an agreement..." Nodding and sniffing back tears, Maja agreed, "yeah, Finn... We did..." Wiping at her eyes, she said, "I finally saw it... After she told me about the vote, I understood it... There's no place for me here..." When he stepped towards her, she stepped back, clutching the poison in a white-knuckle grip. This was getting dangerous _fast_. He wished he'd brought Fi. He needed a distraction. He had to get that tube away from her.

"Don't try it, baby," she whined. "This is how it has to go. I'm outside. I'll always be outside. No matter how much I love you... No matter how much I want this... to be your woman... fate's in the way. I-I've just been cheating death all this time, but it's probably what should have happened at the start. I should have let him beat me to death... The world would be better off..."

Finn rushed the witch, gambling that his speed could save her, reckoning without the ugly decision she'd already made. As his hand tore the deadly cylinder out of her hands, it exploded with a bang, spraying both of them with toxic spores. Terrified, Finn snatched Maja off her feet like a rag-doll and blipped a good two-hundred feet away. Laying his mad lover on the ground, Finn found her frothing at the mouth and shaking violently. He became aware of Sybil screaming at him, and that got him focused again. Wiping the foam from her lips with his sleeve, the big man began trying to resuscitate her, thumping her chest and blowing into her mouth. That was when Simone dropped out of the sky.

Seeing her husband there frantically giving the witch mouth-to-mouth, the Ice Queen howled, "she didn't!" "She did," muttered Finn. He had a pulse. "That ain't gonna' do it," said Simone. They'd never get her to a hospital. Not out here. Motioning Finn aside, Simone froze Maja's body, shutting down her metabolism. Moving on, she looked Finn over, her face belying her terror. "I'm immune," he said shortly. "Sybil's doing." Tearing the sleeve off his jacket, he handed it to his wife, saying, "give that to Drew. Some of the poison's in that cloth." He had to stay with Sarah until the war-machine was shut down once more.

They had epic fallout once more. There were thousands dead on the battlefield and major portions of the grasslands had been scoured down to stone and rendered lifeless. The scar went deep into Elbow Kingdom where the tragedy was compounded by the horrifying deaths of so many of the citizens there. It was news that weighed heavily on the mind of the King of Ooo as he strode down the hall of Candy-General. The guns had fallen silent, but the war still haunted him. They'd won when, by rights, the straggling, struggling descendants of humanity should have died out this day. Far from feeling elated, Finn was horrified at the cost. Even defeating the undead compounded the tragedy because each Dipped had once been a normal, functioning person before being subjected to the Lich's horrible _process_.

Up ahead, the most unlikely occupant of the hospital lay on a bed receiving visitors. Fionna and Bon bustled around the room, putting flowers in the vase by the bedside and doing their best to make the room a little more cheerful. "This is silly, you know," opined Sarah. "It's not like I'm really hurt..." She was under _observation_ until Bonnie and Nadia were certain there was no more trace of the foreign software inside her memory. "Then consider it a belated reaction to the business in the dungeon," the candy-prince responded. Sarah's face went red-hot. Finn wasn't supposed to even know about that. They were supposed to be keeping all of that on the down-low. Seeing the looks both children gave her, she sighed, "I'm not getting out of this, am I?" "Nope," said Fi, as she leaned down and hugged the android-woman. Bon admonished her, "eat your chocolates..."

Seeing Finn pass by, the sex-droid grimaced. Fionna's head whipped around just in time to catch a glimpse of her dad. "He's still coming," sighed Sarah. Bon wanted to be a little irritated with that. "He's stopped by here half a hundred times, Bon," muttered Sarah. She'd found him sitting in that chair after coming out of sleep-cycle half a dozen times. Shaking her head, she said, "it's eating him up inside." He was taking _all_ of this–from the war to the onslaught of the undead–very personally. Bon turned to Fionna, who was now standing at the door, and he realized that Finn wasn't the only person suffering. As the android and the prince watched, the young woman went out the door and down the hall.

The pretty blonde found her father in Maja's room, staring down at Maja's comatose form. He came every day. They both did. Fionna knew, logically, that there was little they could have done, but that did nothing to help the angst she felt and the pain she knew he felt. This woman had given everything she had to save the world, and she'd ended up here, even after they'd both promised her safety. Fi had struggled for days to find the words to help her father get over this, but she was having trouble getting over it herself. "How's Sarah," Finn asked? He sounded about as depressed as he looked. Flushing, Fionna replied, "fine, father. She's fine. She'd be back at work if Bonnie and Nadia let her." Finn's eyes were on the machines that were doing a lot of the work of keeping Maja going. Fionna knew what he was thinking because she'd thought it half a hundred times. She wouldn't want to be kept alive that way, and she knew her father wouldn't either. Taking his hand, she said, "it's not our decision, father. I wish..."

"What," asked Drew?

The two speed-demons spun around to find the family doctor standing there. Fresh from a trip east to organize the effort to get medical care to Elbow Kingdom's survivors, Drew was just as exhausted as the rest of them. Nobody was quitting though. They even had Toast and Breakfast _working_ for a change. "We need to have a family meeting," Drew said, "to talk about Maja..." Finn had been dreading this. At the same time, this wasn't something he could–or _should_ decide on his own.

Father and daughter followed the beautiful doctor out of the sleeper's room and back down the hall to Sarah's room. There they found all of their family gathered. Even Nadia was there via hologram. There were but two faces missing. Cherry signaled that he shouldn't bring that up just now. "Alright," said Simone. "Let's start." The gathering settled down, and Drew moved to take the floor. "You've examined Maja," asked Simone? With a sigh, the pretty physician allowed that she had. "And the verdict," insisted the Ice Queen? "Severe brain damage," sighed Drew. "Major portions of her brain are just shut down. EEG readings are all over the map. She's not a vegetable. You saved her from that..." " _And_ ," insisted Cherry? Shaking her head, the beautiful doctor said, "she's going to have the mind of a child, folks."

The questions started then. Everybody had a question. Bonnie led with, "will she recover?" "I don't know," Drew replied. "I don't even know what that stuff was that she used. It looks like the only person who understood it was her." Simone grimaced. It was quite possible _she_ knew, but she wasn't ready to dig into those memories just now. "Alright," interrupted Cherry. "Then we put her in a home." Every face there snapped around to her. With a sigh, she said, "my grandmother went through a long bout with dementia before she passed. She needed constant care." Finn sighed, "babe... Nobody's asking you to..." "And you shouldn't have to," retorted the crime-boss. "You have a thing about kids, Finn. Remember? My particular weakness is the old and infirm. The last thing I'd do to anyone in her condition is try to exact some kind of vengeance. She's... _paid_ for what she did to me. Let it be over with. It's time I moved on anyway."

The decision got made just like that. Maja would be moved to a secure facility in the palace. Drew would monitor her and slowly bring her out of her coma. And they'd take it from there. One thing was still bothering Finn, though. Maja had been devoted to holding onto her life. She'd fought as hard as anybody had during the last stand. The sudden change from that to attempted suicide didn't make sense, and Finn said so. Wearing a guilty expression, Phoebe reminded him that she _had_ sort of suggested that Maja _pay_ for the war. She'd been all but ready to flatten the witch first she saw her. She and Shoko had both been astonished to learn that Maja was nominally fighting on _their_ side.

Beginning to pace, Finn said, "something else is at play, babe. I promised Maja that I'd see to it that she got fair treatment. I gave my word. Something convinced her that it wouldn't matter. She said something about a vote..." Simone's face snapped over. Her eyes went to Cherry, who said, "we vote, Finn. We all do." The big man stared at her in puzzlement. Emeraude said, "we mostly keep it behind closed doors, babe, but... well, how do you _think_ we make this work?" "More importantly," said Bonnie. "Somebody said something to her about the vote. That means it was one of us that convinced her she had no chance." "The one who's missing," rumbled Shoko. With the mystery brought into the light, it was clear to all that Shoko's guess had to be right. What Simone didn't understand was why Ingrid would do it.

"Because Maja failed Theo," sighed Finn. He began to swear, and, before the eyes of all and sundry, he put his fist through the wall. "So she had to die," growled Cherry? "Is that it? That _motherfucker_!" Wordlessly, Finn nodded. Drew grabbed his hand, clucking at his gashed and bleeding knuckles. "I've told you about doing that, Finn," she complained, but he'd wanted to hit something or somebody. He still did. Instead, he told them all about what their old pal had been doing to Maja, and that news had pretty much all of them seeing red. "But you say _Ingrid_ , did this," said Simone. "Who do you think brought Ingrid back to life, babe," said Finn? Shaking his head, he said, "all that time, I was sure it was Maja. I would have sworn it was her behind Ingrid and all that shit she was doing." "What do we do," asked Betty? "Don't know," said Finn, but his eyes said that he was going to do _something_ about Theo, one way or another.

 **Phew! Took a couple of tries to get this one right! The Dipped are defeated! Just one thread left.**


	48. Chapter 48

Chapter 48:

The big man had a lot on his mind. Billy couldn't help thinking that he would have drowned in his father's place. He was having trouble enough managing the relatively minor complexities of his own life. His polygamous mess of a marriage threatened to explode at any moment, and he was struggling to sustain some kind of harmony. He needed good advice, but he felt like he'd be piling on. Just now the King of Ooo was discussing something that honestly shocked William Mertens. Finn the Human was leaving the treehouse–indeed the Candy Kingdom–for good.

It was a shocking idea–especially when you considered the fact that he'd come of age and raised a family here. Seeming to guess where Billy's mind was going, Finn said, "it can't be the same, Bill. Nothing about this is going to work like before. The sooner you recognize that, the sooner you can straighten up your situation and start living again..." They stopped in the hall outside the Containment room–Suadela's prison.

It became clear with the King's next words that he was talking about Billy's _problem_ –giving the younger man the advice he'd been desperate for. "You have to make them face tomorrow, Bill. People who've been in a certain space all their lives have trouble with that. Bonnie did..." The family had _forced_ Bonnie to step down as princess. She could be First Minister or Princess of the Candy Kingdom, but she clearly couldn't manage both. Not and fulfill her duties as a mother to a very young child. Finn had made it clear that it wasn't going to be _Rosie_ getting the short end. In a bid to keep up her scientific pursuits, Bonnie capitulated in short order.

All the moms had gotten wake-up calls. Cherry had been forced to step back from direct involvement in the day-to-day workings of the Mob. The adventures were going to stop. Pronto. Drew was stepping back from her very-active caseload. Emeraude had gotten an admonishment from all to be more involved in family and less in work. There was help on offer from the other princesses on whipping the Grey Forest into shape, and Finn had granted the wood-nymphs a sizable chunk of land as war-reparations from Peanut Kingdom to help them. The Matriarch had been forced to agree that there would be no more going it alone. The breakfast sisters had gotten a rather severe 'get well' prescription, with Breakfast getting a permanent demotion to common citizen and Strudel ordered to clean up the mess she'd left in their kingdom.

"I'll talk to Noemi," Billy rumbled. "You'll talk to them _all_ , Bill," retorted Finn. "Ragnhild _thinks_ she understands this mess you're in, but she doesn't. I'm twenty years in with your mom and E, and I'm still struggling. Abeiuwa thinks she can be a sometimes wife and part-time dictator. She thinks she can toss orders at you and Rags. Bonnie thought that too." Bonnie had gotten _corrected_ , and Billy now realized Abeiuwa would need correction too. "Thanks, dad," the younger man said.

Just then, a commotion in the containment chamber announced another ugly _adjustment_ was underway. "You don't understand, mother," announced the angry voice. Suadela's voice. "What," laughed Suadela? "You think you can get me a _pardon_?! You fucking _mophead_! You don't fucking get it! I'm _cursed_! You can't pardon me! There's no pardon for the blood on my hands!" As Finn pondered intervention, Alexia burst out of the room, with the Dipped's curses ringing in her ears. Tears streaming down her face, Laurel Princess went tearing down the hall as her daughter shouted, "don't fucking come back!"

Suadela was still muttering curses when Finn and his son came in. "You didn't have to treat her like that," Finn rumbled. "Do you think I liked doing that, Finn," she retorted? "That's my mom, Finn. My fucking mom. I would have had to kill her. Just like all the others. My brother used to promise me that he'd do it, so I wouldn't have to. It was our little deal. It was how we got through... things." Those disturbing words caused Billy to go pale. "Globdammit, Finn," Suadela snarled, "I told you not to let her in here–not to let her see this!"

Putting his hand to the glass, Finn said, "she needed closure, princess. Your mom has to move on. She... needs to say goodbye..." Suadela glanced away. Billy found himself thinking that madness was a far easier fate to manage than this. He wouldn't have wanted to _know_ what he was doing to his own peeps. "She's seen me," muttered the undead. "Don't let her come back, ok?" "Ok, princess," Finn replied. Finn turned to go. Billy was a beat late, and Suadela hit him with a zinger, opining, "better watch your back, Bill. I can't save you from cougars now..." She was smirking when he glanced back, and Billy was delighted to get out of there.

Outside, Finn said, "I gotta' go. Think hard about what I said, Bill. Our world depends on what you do now." It was like his mom all over again. Simone Mertens had the power to destroy the world seething through her body. Cherry had been right about that. Finn had managed that deadly danger in the early days, and it seemed he still did. Now, in addition to his own handicap on that front, Billy had to manage Abeiuwa, her greed for money and attention, and the terrible contents of the bunker in the heart of her kingdom. There was enough material there to make hundreds of mushroom-bombs. They wouldn't be of the scale of the ones that smashed the old world, but Abeiuwa could make many, many more of them–enough to finish what Suadela had started. And his wife was in a very fragile state now.

Spinning on his heel, the young man headed for the stairs. He'd been trying to talk his father down from the plans he'd announced. Now he realized that he better get busy making plans of his own. The world was still moving, and there were still severe risks facing them all. Finn continued up the hall, bound for the cold little room where his latest burden slept. Karma. He'd bought off a terrible tragedy, saving the world from Death's cold hands once more. He was paying for it with Maja's life. Maja hadn't been alone in starting the war. She hadn't really been primary instigator. Wildberry carried that distinction. But she was one of the people who were paying the cost of the war.

There were signs that she was coming around. He would see her eyes move and flutter sometimes. Other times she would moan in her sleep. Drew's brain-scanning biz suggested that her brain was rebooting, and that gave him hope. He hoped to keep his promises to her. In the now, he came every day to look in on her, while he made preparations for more permanent digs further west, near the coast. He was moving to neutral ground. As King of Ooo, he couldn't hide in Bonnie's shadow. There were still suspicions among the women that Wildberry had called her allies, and Finn needed to calm those suspicions. Strangely enough, he would find himself bouncing ideas off Maja's sleeping form, talking his way through what he wanted to do and thinking about what _she_ would have done. This wasn't Card-Wars anymore. It was chess, and he needed to keep his mind on the game, no matter what he was doing.

That was how Cherry found him–talking at the comatose Sky Witch. Glancing up with a guilty expression, Finn offered, "hey, babe..." Smiling, in spite of where she'd found him, Cherry reached out and straightened his tie in almost reflexive habit. She was always doing that, and he'd come to realize she was _marking_ him, the way Simone–and Betty–did when they clawed him in bed or the way Bonnie and Sarah did it with lipstick when they kissed him. He felt raw–like the worst scum–for being in here, but Cherry said nothing to that. She wanted to talk.

As they walked along, Finn murmured, "I don't understand why you're not angry." "I _am_ angry, Finn," said Cherry, "but not at you. I'm angry at the man who couldn't leave her in limbo. I'm angry at the people who brought us this awful war over nothing." Taking a deep breath, she said, "I understand my husband. The man I came to love is a man of his word. You offered a _just_ and _measured_ restitution for her crimes in exchange for her honest cooperation against an evil that could have turned any man's knees to jelly. She met her end of the bargain, and you were unable to meet yours. Nobody deserves to be turned into a shell of a person..."

Stopping in the hall, she said, "and I know what it feels like to see someone you know turned into _that_. It's... You can't help but be affected. I... feel it too." He guessed she was thinking of her family. A part of him feared the same thing happening to her. Turning away, Cherry said, "you're not disloyal, Finn. You're compassionate. It's a quality I admire in you, and it's a very necessary quality for a king. Right now, we have a chance to do something about our own troubles..." Frowning, Finn asked, "what do you mean?" She knew what–or _who_ –he was thinking of. No-one had seen Ingrid since the last day of the war. She hadn't even gone home to her own kingdom as he would have expected, and honestly he feared she was off creating another army of ghouls to replace the one that had rebelled. Chuckling, the gangster said, "not that one, honey. I'm thinking maybe Sybil should be relieved of her burden..." Finn's mouth came open. "Simone's waiting, honey," said Cherry.

The pair found the Ice Queen sitting in the former infirmary, bent over a dusty old book that looked to be as old as her memories. That was one of the problems he meant to solve by building a castle of his own. His cabinet should have a permanent space in his home instead of finding a spot _wherever_. Today Simone sported a light blue maternity dress–a blast from the past that reminded Finn of the uncomplicated days when it had been just he and Simone in a hotel room in the city, whiling away the hours, days, and weeks until Billy was born. Simone's face was distracted and maybe a little worried today, reminding him that those days were gone and likely wouldn't be coming back any time soon. He had long ago made peace with the distressing effects of his life on his own mortal flesh. He'd never managed to make peace with the pain he inflicted on Simone.

Seeing him there in the door, she rose and turned to face him, the subtle worry-lines smoothing out and her face becoming that of his beloved wife once more. It was a subtle sign that maybe the burdens she was carrying were kicking her butt too. A glance down at Cherry suggested that maybe she wasn't alone. His wicked, evil wife–Number Three as she called herself–made little secret of the fact that she had shamelessly used the Cloning Formula to make herself a new, _young_ body, but there were moments where he surprised a worry-wrinkle on her elegant face. He needed to fix this. He needed to fix this as soon as he could because he feared this would destroy them if he didn't.

"Ok," said Finn, "what've you got?" Smiling for the first time in what seemed like forever, Simone told him, "a possibility of a cure." "A _possibility_ ," he echoed. With a sigh, his lady admitted, "I can't know for sure, Finn. Nobody ever actually _tried_ to cure the curse. The most anybody's ever really done is seal it away. There's hints in the Grand Master's notes that maybe the curse could be _extracted_. There's hints that it could be shifted to some other object and allowed to burn itself out." "Ok," said Finn. "Let's get started." Simone's frown returned, and he knew what she was thinking.

"Not reckless, baby," he whispered. "This... It's my kids... It's all of you." And, at the end of the day, a man gave everything he had for his family. Cherry took Simone's hand. Calmly, she said, "what do we need? Name it. I'll get it." There was wealth to last a thousand years in the Vault, but none of that really mattered against the lives of the children. "It needs to be something old and substantial... Almost a monument–something fixed in the firmament like time itself." Looking up, Simone told him, "it'll be consumed in the process." Nodding, Cherry said, "the Vault goes back centuries... It may be as old as your father was." "No," said Finn. His eyes were hard, and it was almost as though he were staring at a distant evil only he could see. "I know a place."

Admonishing his wives to start preparations, Finn rushed out of there. He had a plan in mind, but he needed to have a chat with someone first. He had a good idea where he'd find Alex. She had been kind of a mess the last few days, and she always went up to the wall-walk to stare out at the city beyond. Rushing through the halls, he thought his way through what he had to say. He knew where Alex's mind was. He'd been in the same place after Wildberry dosed Bill. But just as he had needed to make peace with losing his firstborn, he had to make Alex understand what was going to happen with her child.

The King sensed the distraught mother's anguish as he approached. "Al," he greeted his old friend. "Finn," she replied. No more than that. This wasn't going to be easy. "I want to apologize now," he started to say! Fiercely, she screamed, "you can't kill my baby! I won't let you!" Gently, Finn reminded her, "Alex, we have no cure for Suadela..." Stubbornly, Alexia howled, "then Bonnibel will have to craft one!" Shaking his head, Finn replied, "it's not that simple, Alex." Jabbing him with a finger, she snarled, "you moved heaven and earth to save your own son! Will you deny me that right! I _backed_ you!"

Finn answered that charge with, "yeah, Al, you did. You voted for me to do what was right for _all_ of Ooo." His eyes burned into hers as he said, "I was ready to kill Billy because he threatened my family. If the madness plague had been contagious, I would have. I had to watch him suffer horrible pain while Bonnie looked for a cure. He became a human guinea-pig, and I was there for it all. You prepared to watch Suadela go through that, Al? We haven't got anyone else to experiment on. Bonnie would be inflicting more pain on _your_ kid because you can't let go. That doesn't even talk about the risk, Al. To do what you want requires us to put all life on Ooo at risk! In her condition, Suadela's like a mushroom bomb. She could empty this city by herself."

The hysterical woman started slapping him. Finn held her at arm's length. " _Alex_ ," he howled! "Babe, this doesn't help her! You _can't_ help her!" Which he knew she already knew. Alexia the Laurel Princess burst into tears. Finn gathered her into his arms as she cried and cried. "I'm going to make Penny pay," said Finn. "Suadela and I... we're going to make her pay." He couldn't fix this, but he had another option.

Three days later, Finn stepped out of a Banana Guard truck with Simone at his side before an unpleasantly familiar sight. Thief City. He'd lost himself here once. He'd come close to losing himself a second time. All of that was tied into one name and a face that had haunted him for half his life. Simone's touch on his wrist brought him back to the moment. There was work to do.

Simone drew out dowsing rods and moved to a clear spot to start setting up her wiz-biz. While she was about that, Finn moved to the back of the truck and, with Sybil's help, wrestled down their unpleasant cargo. The Dipped never slept, but she sometimes tuned out her surroundings out of boredom. Now she stretched, yawned, and gave the scene a disinterested look as Finn settled the containment unit onto the anti-gravity platform Nadia had given him.

"So, Finn," said Suadela. "What brings us here?" Her voice was soft and sweet, just like her mom's. "Closing the circle, princess," he replied. Frowning a little, she said, "ok, that doesn't really make sense." Shaking her head, she said, "I admit that I'm not the brightest bulb in the lamp, but I didn't follow that at all." Sitting down beside the containment unit, he said, "this all started there..." He pointed at the low mound that had served to shelter Thief City. "...with a gal I knew when I was a kid," he explained. "She was young and pretty, like you, but she threw away everything to trade in evil." "Penny," murmured Suadela. Most everybody knew the story of Finn's encounter with the Thief King. Her head whipped around to the city, and momentarily she was an oozing pile of darkness pressing hard against the wall of the containment. "Patience, Suadela," said Finn. The Dipped turned to him, and he had Suadela's face frowning at him once more.

"This is about justice," said Finn. "I can't _fix_ this, princess. Glob knows I wish I could." "I know, Finn," she sighed. "It is what it is, but I don't understand why you've brought me here." "What would you most like to do in creation," he asked? "Besides ending all life on Ooo, that is." She chuckled, "make Penny die a thousand ti..." Her eyes went wide, and again she stared at the distant mound. "I can't fix this...," said Finn. "...but you can deliver just vengeance," Suadela agreed. Nodding, she said, "you know you'll have to kill me after this. I am what I am, and this won't change the Imperative." Grinning, Finn said, "and maybe that won't matter..."

By now, Simone was setting up her gear. Finn came over to his lady, stepping carefully over the protective circle she was building. With a sigh, the sorceress said, "I'm almost ready, Finn." She hadn't exactly been _thrilled_ with this plan, and he could tell from the tone of her voice that she was unhappy that he still planned to go through with it. He was going _into_ Thief City. With the last of the Dipped at his side. Not Billy. Not Fionna. Not even her little brother. He was going to confront Penny with Suadela by his side, gambling that Suadela's rage against the person who'd put her in her current condition was stronger than her hunger to kill. Rather than rehash the unpleasant argument that he'd had with his family, Finn merely said, "gimme an hour to get into position before you start the ritual." Without another word, he set out.

Behind him, Simone drew out her father's Demonic Wishing Eye. Simon had quit using the thing when he got his sanity back. The cost was too great in terms of the things the Eye wanted. Just now, fresh from the ugly of a war to the knife against the undead and a year as the Lich's puppet, she was going to dare the Eye's hunger one last time. And then she was going to shatter it, banishing its occupant back to the Night-O-Sphere. Whispering words of power, the Ice Queen called forth the titanic being that lived in the eye of that dreadful crystal.

The Hand of Abadeer didn't hesitate to accept the summons, bursting into her reality in a blast of heat and sulfurous smoke. "Hey, kiddo," the awful demon greeted her. "Been a while." "Yeah," Simone replied, "not long enough..." The demon chuckled. He was a demon. He didn't make friends. "You doin' ok," he asked? "Sorry about ole' Simon. Me and him, we went back a ways." Hunson Abadeer had _rewarded_ Simon for looking after his daughter, but demons never gave gifts without exacting a price. "I'm freeing you," Simone replied. That simple statement brought out a frown. "One last task," Simone told him. "Then you return from whence you came." "Not real grateful," the Hand opined. "I'm not my father," replied Simone. The Hand laughed, "how do you know, punkin'?" "That was my father's name for me," she retorted. "Not yours. I only need you to do what I ask." "And that is," he demanded?

He was all business now. "I give you the dark souls in Thief City," she said. "In exchange for removing the Quicksilver Curse from my family." The Hand turned and stared at the town. "Shit," he said. "Hunson's gonna be pissed. That place was supposed to ripen for another hundred years or so." "Is the gift acceptable," she demanded? Shaking his head and muttering curses, he rumbled, "it is, Simone, but know this: I may not be able to shatter the curse's hold on those who've accepted it." The sorceress shot to her feet. "There _is_ a little bit of daddy in you," chuckled the demon. Her face went hot. In the days of his madness, her father could be quite nasty when thwarted. He'd mellowed as the years went by and the centuries piled up. "I'll try, Simone," said the Hand. "For Simon. He was my friend." "Alright," she said. "Let's get started."

As Simone dickered with her father's demon-servant, Finn found himself staring at a puzzle. Thief City had changed in a great many ways since last he'd been here. For one thing, the furtive, cowering thieves forever sneaking around the hidden town's dark streets and byways seemed to be absent. He would have expected to have to deflect a half-dozen attempts to rob him before he got more than a thousand feet into the town. Instead, the streets were empty, and even the sounds of the denizens in their various lairs and fortified homes was muted. That helped him a little with his conscience, suggesting as it did that only the worst of the worst still dwelled here. He'd hit on the idea of doing away with Thief City purely because of the place's corrupting influence on anyone who dwelled here long. His conscience had been at war with him almost from the start, and he'd mostly shut it down simply because there was nobody living here with any sort of morals. The absence of people suggested that maybe he was right. Morality had moved on.

All through that unpleasant journey, as Finn struggled with pangs of remorse and attacks of conscience, Suadela was at his side like a living embodiment of the evil that this place spawned. She kept up a steady stream of chatter, telling him all about her ugly life the last few years. Sparing nothing, she told him all about how she and her brother had met their ends in Penny's lair, and, in the end, it was her words that silenced the last moral qualms he had about what he was doing here.

"Nick was right there with me," said the undead. "He was there by my side when they did it to us. After she made me watch those fuckers cut his fingers and toes off... after they raped him... then they propped his broken body up, and she made him watch them doing the same things to me... I wanted them to hurt. I wanted them to suffer. I... It didn't take long before I wanted to kill everybody in sight. I wanted everyone to hurt the way I hurt." The constant commentary was starting to seriously disturb Finn. He'd had only the vaguest of ideas for how the Dipped came to be. He'd had some vague idea that there was some kind of chemical. To hear of what the Lich had probably done to the girl in the Door Lord's citadel horrified him. To think of what Penny had done to Alexia's kids sickened him to the point where he was almost blind with rage. Mercifully, as Suadela's tale of horror really began to make him question the existence of Glob in a world that had such horror in it, they reached the walls of the Thief King's palace.

Stopping in mid-sentence, the undead asked, "is this it?" "Yeah," Finn replied, "the Thief King's lair." Momentarily, Suadela was warring with herself, fighting her hunger for Penny's tasty, tasty flesh. Calming herself, she asked, "how do we get in? I mean... I'm in here, and something tells me you ain't letting me out." "Not yet," he agreed. Staring at the semi-invisible barrier that protected the palace from those who might have wanted to get inside, Finn said, "I see a way." It was the science-biz that his wives had struggled so long and hard to make him understand. Now, with Nadia's nano-bugs in his skull, he understood what he was seeing perfectly well.

The barrier wasn't truly impenetrable. It flickered on and off–in and out of existence–but so fast that a normal person couldn't see the difference. He vaguely remembered Nadia telling him once about 'duty-cycle'. He'd been completely clueless thinking she was talking about how long he would have to be her Champion, but now he saw that she meant something like this. Science-biz had limits, and the Thief-King's barrier couldn't stay up all the time. The best it could do was fake it by blinking on and off so fast you couldn't tell the difference. Calmly, the big man stepped past the barrier in the eye-blink where it wasn't there, startling Suadela, who'd thought she was used to what this man could do. "Neat trick," she said. "What now?" Calmly, Finn went over to the machine that stood near Penny's front door. Raising the Finn-Sword, he smashed it into a million pieces. Suadela's prison began moving again, joining Finn inside the Thief King's palace.

Inside the palace was just as empty as outside had been. Finn couldn't help remembering all the thieves Fionna had killed over the years as men and women tried for the bounty on her head. The number of fools had trickled to nothing, and mostly the family forgot about Penny. There had been other problems to deal with. Unfortunately the undead plague had rekindled their memories. Penny had unleashed this nightmare on Ooo. Now it was time for her to pay. After hearing about what Alex's kids went through, Finn was eager to call in the marker.

The Thief King wasn't hard to find. She was sitting on her meaningless throne in her empty audience chamber, staring into space when the King of Ooo came in with his unpleasant companion. She barely even looked up when the big man came through the door. Softly, she said, "so you've come at last to finish what you started." She wasn't anything like the Penny he remembered. Her hair had gone white, and it hung, stringy, along the sides of her head. Her face was haggard and drawn, and her green eyes had gone bloodshot. Her red nose suggested she was drinking a lot, reminding him of the fate he'd only just dodged.

And then there was the scar.

Ugly and brownish-purple, the scar looked as though it should have removed her face. Indeed, the younger woman's appearance had a strange, off-kilter look to it as if her face was crooked. But the biggest change was the voice. No longer soft, sweet, and seductive, Penny's voice sounded as though she'd been shouting into a storm for the last thirty years. "Pens," he greeted her. "What the fuck do you want," she snapped? "Why'd you bring that fucking thing here?" Calmly, Finn said, "because there's a price needs paying for the crimes you've committed. Against me. Against Ooo and its people. Against my daughter. And against Suadela, here."

Penny laughed. She laughed an ugly laugh like gravel grinding around in the bottom of a tin can. " _My_ crimes," she howled? "You took everything from me! You took my beauty! Your whore of a daughter took my son!" Finn snapped, "you took those things from _yourself_ , you fucking bitch! You tried to murder me! And you taught your piece of shit son to _take_ from people around him, but you never taught him that sometimes people fight back!" Suadela muttered curses. She didn't want to talk. She wanted to make Penny _hurt_! Pressing his hand against the containment, Finn silently uttered the command. Justice.

Penny shrieked as the Dipped began flowing towards her. Finally he got an honest reaction. "You're going to pay for what you've done, Pens," said Finn. "Get out, Finn," growled the Dipped, as she oozed towards Penny, but Finn was already gone. Outside, Simone sat watching, as the terrible sorcery unleashed by the Hand did its ugly work. Stray tendrils of temporal energy flicked out from the chaotic maelstrom of energy centered on the city of Thieves. She _felt_ those waves because _Jewel_ felt them. And through those threads, she felt others–the children she'd raised and the ones she was helping to raise even now. She felt children not yet born, and she touched their mothers. Time seemed to be almost _crashing_ in on her, blurring those moments into one instant of time, shared by all. Then, as the terrible, _thunderous crush_ of centuries reached its cresendo, the sensation vanished. As Simone watched, the mound that had been Thief City dissolved to nothing, the Quicksilver Curse wreaking in an eye-blink what Time and Entropy would have taken _centuries_ to do. "It's over, babe," said Finn. Simone nearly jumped out of her skin to find her husband standing near her. "Finn," she gasped? "What?"

Striding up to his lady, the big man gave her a good looking over. "You smashed the Eye," he asked. She nodded. The demon was gone. It was one of the decisions the family had made that day in Sarah's hospital room. The Wishing Eye was one more thing to bring the world trouble. Turning back to the spot where Thief City had sat, Simone asked, "Suadela?" "She and Penny have an eternity to get acquainted," Finn replied. They had one moment that would last a hundred lifetimes as Penny took a long, long, _long_ time at dieing. It didn't bring back Alex's kids. It didn't bring back the thousands that Suadela murdered. Still, for the first time in what seemed a lifetime, Finn felt relieved of some of the burdens he carried.

More to the point, the curse was gone. For the first time in what felt like forever, he didn't feel its effects. Now he knelt before his beloved first wife and lay his head against the curve of her slightly swollen belly. "Jewel," he breathed. He liked that name. Running her fingers through his hair, Simone chuckled. Besides Phoebe, Emeraude was her closest friend in the world. As he was reflecting on that, his phone rang. Frowning, the big man sat back on his haunches and drew the phone from his pocket. Simone caught a glimpse of the number as he flicked the phone open, turning on the speaker. "Hey," he said. "Finn," Ingrid greeted him. "Where you at," he asked? "Blodigt Felt," Ingrid replied.

Finn grimaced. He didn't need Betty's babelfish spell to know that was probably bad. "Why don't you come by," Ingrid suggested? "Come alone. I'll be waiting in something sexy." "Sure," he said, as she hung up. "Can't wait." "Finn," hissed Simone. "It's a trap." "Yeah," he said. "I know." But he had to see this through. He couldn't leave Death's last minion kicking around. One way or another he had to put an end to this. Without a further word, he got up and started gathering in her stuff. While he worked at that, he tried to distract her by teasing her about 'catching up' to Bonnie and Marceline. The pretty sorceress got him back by pointing out, "the ones you need to worry about 'catching up' are Nadia, Cherry, and Lollipop." Finn's jaw came open.

Nodding, Simone said, "all pregnant. I guess... Nobody wanted to worry you." Taking his face in her hands, she said, "this is why I don't want you to go, Finn. Because we need you _here_ more than we need you dead from doing something suicidally heroic. You make a better example to the kids alive and able to teach them than laying in a tomb somewhere with an epitaph over your head." Finn nodded slowly, and she thought he was thinking about it–internalizing what she was saying. At the same time, she knew her stubborn hubby had to do this one last thing. Even if it killed him. "You can drop me off at Wiz-City," she said. Turning for the truck, the big man said, "maybe I should take Drew's suggestion. Get snipped..." Simone slapped him on the back of the head, letting him know how they were collectively going to take _that_ idea, even if one of them _had_ suggested it. While stashing his wife's stuff in the bed of the truck, he had a sudden, _terrifying_ thought. What if they _all_ wanted three? He'd be overrun!

Finn's mind was still working on the dangerous implications of that when he dropped his lady at the gates of Wizard City. Simone's suggestions that Emeraude was 'too busy' and Drew and Betty were 'too old to be bothered' weren't nearly the comforts that she meant them to be. Strudel showed no signs of losing interest, and she was still pretty young. Phoebe and Emeraude were going to live for _centuries_ , and Lollipop, Breakfast, and Nadia weren't exactly paragons of good sense. _Fuck,_ he thought, as he rolled up on Blodig Felt, _I'm screwed._ He was going to be up to his armpits in kids. His only saving grace was that Sarah _couldn't_.

Spying his wayward wife standing beneath a twisted tree in the middle of that desolate, empty place, Finn put his ride in park and got out. There was a sinister air to the place as he stood staring at his surroundings. If she meant to jump him with a bunch of dudes, this hardly seemed the place for it, but he knew she hadn't brought him here for a _date_. As he approached, he took his opponent's measure. She was dressed in one of Lollipop's little green dresses, looking sexy and sinister all at once. No armor today, though her sword hung on her left hip within easy reach.

Ingrid greeted him with a sweet, "hey, baby..." It was in that melodious voice that he knew so well. At the same time, there was a sinister expression on her face. It was kind of ironic. They were full circle, with trust between them in the shitter and Finn fully aware that Maja wasn't Theo's _only_ agent. Certainly, Maja had been more of a _tool_ than anything. Coolly, Finn asked, "so... Whatcha' got goin'?" With a shrug, she asked, "got any idea where we are?" The big man allowed that he really didn't. She gave him a strange, even _twisted_ smile and said, "I died here. Right here on this very spot was where I left life." Nodding at the hill beyond his shoulder, she said, "he stabbed me up there. Then he carried me down here and sat with me under this tree... It was a sapling back then." The sinister smile came back as she opined, "I guess you could say this tree is my child. My blood nurtured it."

Finn's face betrayed nothing of what he was thinking. Indeed, as the two began circling each other, you couldn't have told if he was just enjoying the air or if he was in a state of cosmic shock and despair. She didn't like that about him. She liked the guileless little boy she'd known. The world had warped him too, and she thought this moment might be for the best anyway. "Have you thought about the changes," she asked? It was out of the blue. That was the defining part of their relationship, though. Voice mild, he asked, "what changes?" Shrugging, she ticked them off, "Sybil, Breezy, Nadia... All of them have made changes... That doesn't even speak to the internal ones made by Marceline, Bonnibel, Cherry, and Simone. You're a deeply changed man, Mr. Mertens..." Finn shrugged. It was what it was. That was how life worked, and he reminded her of that fact.

"But it could be done," she said. They were getting to the crux. "I'm good," he replied. "I don't _get_ you," she admitted. Her hand was on her sword, the long fingers teasing the hilt. "I don't get you at all," said the fallen princess. Voice cool, he replied, "there's not much to it, Ingrid. What you see is what you get..." "And I'm just having trouble seeing," she retorted? "Is that it?" Finn shrugged. "I see a man who's enslaved to his penis," she rumbled. "You fell in bed with that fucking witch like she was sweet candy..." They were getting somewhere now. Coolly, Finn smiled at her. That set her off. One moment she was glaring at him, the next that blood-soaked blade of hers was trying to bury itself in his skull. Honestly, she was fucking fast, and it took all his considerable skill to dodge death right then. She did manage to nick his shoulder.

Drawing the Finn-Sword, he turned and blocked blow after blow, as she did her best to remove his head. Binding her blade with his, he held it down and away from him. "Rejection," he asked? "Is that what this is?" "You ignored me," she shouted! "Here was a man who seemed only interested in pussy, but you ignored _me_!" "Maybe you're blind, Ingrid," he retorted. "Maybe you still don't see..." Releasing her blade, he stepped back out of reach. They began to circle again, feinting and looking for advantage. "Nothing I did took," she muttered. "I can't understand how it was so hard to outsmart a fool." She told him of her schemes with the ghouls and how close he'd come to uncovering them. She talked of her plan to get him to turn the robot army on the citizens of Ooo. He'd been stubbornly resistant to her charms and blandishments. She'd despaired of ever making headway until he'd found her that night in Candy-Town. Even then, she scarcely seemed able to bend him.

Coolly, Finn replied, "I learned a long time ago that chicken-dinners don't come free, Ingrid. There's always a cost. I haven't always been good at seeing what the cost was, but I was never stupid enough to think that there wasn't one. So what does Theo pay you for trying to destroy me and everyone around me? What do you get? He wasn't going to leave you the only living soul left on Ooo." Her face flushed. "My past isn't a lie, Finn," she said with a sigh. "I'm sure Bonnibel's told you about me. About my life... before Clarence..." "She told me your momma was a cunt," said Finn. "Worst parent in history," said Ingrid. With a shrug, Finn retorted, "my dad would give you a run for your money on that one."

They both laughed about that. They spent a while laughing, and it was, for a moment, like older, _better_ times. Then suddenly Ingrid stopped laughing. Face gone bleak, she sobbed, "I killed her, Finn..." Tears began to stream down her face, and she admitted, "I can't even say it was heat of the moment. She was abusive to me. She beat me at the drop of a hat, but she wasn't hitting me when I killed her. I did it to take the throne from her." "You did it because you'd taken all that evil in, Ingrid," Finn replied. That made her laugh.

Sniffing at tears, she said, "you're still trying to save me? Huh? Even after what I've done?" With a shrug, Finn said, "there's lots of evil in the world, Ingrid... There are a lot of men and women who do evil because that's who and what they are. I can't deny that, but a lot of evil in this world is caused by the way dudes treat each other. There's a lot of evil caused by angry kids who got tired of mom or dad's shit one day. Maja was like you." The angry young woman's jaw came open. Nodding, Finn said, "we... _talked_ a lot that night. She told me a lot about where she'd come from. Her uncle beat the living shit out of her from the time she was old enough to remember it. That was how she discovered her powers. She had to kill him..." And then she'd had to run.

 _She was just like me,_ thought the fallen princess. A tremendous wave of sadness enveloped the tall woman, threatening to overwhelm her. "I'm sorry I did what I did, Finn," sniffed Ingrid. "I... For the record, I'm sorry about what happened to her. I don't have a choice." And then she was at him again, striking and punching and even kicking. She was a whirlwind of violence, but she'd been trained relentlessly, almost from the moment she could walk. She was fucking fast, and only the decades of experience under his belt let Finn dodged those brutal strikes. When things got tight, he found himself actually missing the Curse.

Laughing, maniacally, Ingrid said, "Death's closing the book on you, Finn. He wanted your pain, babe! He wanted you taken down to your barest elements, and then he was going to offer you eternity. _Fuck_ , you were stubborn! Nothing I said or did could get you to commit a single even questionable act!" "He wanted me to murder millions with those machines," Finn guessed. It was strange to think of it, but this was just the mirror image of Maja's attempts to seduce him. Either woman would have had him slaughtering millions in service to Death. It was just a question of how quickly he went for that roll in the muck.

Ingrid told him, "but we both failed. You're fucking stubborn, honey. You're the most stubborn man I've ever known. I can't believe how much pussy we both threw at you, and you never even wavered." As Finn flushed, she said, "so now I have to kill you." She chuckled, "he figured Maja would do that, but man you did a number on that cunt." Licking her lips, she admitted, "it was so fucking good, I have to admit I can understand her dilemma." Leveling brutal sheering blows at him that threatened to take his arms off at the shoulders, she said, "it was very good cock, baby. Much better than anything I got from Clarence."

"I'm... not gonna' let you kill me," Finn puffed, as he edged back from her. Ingrid laughed. "Sweetie," said she in reasonable tones, "we both know you won't kill me. You're too much the white knight. I mean, how else can you explain how that candy-coated cunt, Cherry, is still breathing after trying to do in your precious Simone!" She lunged again, striking and slashing at him. As Finn deflected those blows and dodged back from her, she said, "you're middle-aged, Finn. I'm physically twenty. I can keep this up for _hours_. Eventually you're going to get tired... Then you'll be mine."

He knew she was right. Without the power of the curse, he was a fairly normal man. Sybil's strength was keeping him in this, when he was starting to get pretty winded. Worse, though, he had the vague idea that Ingrid knew that. A lot of her blows were directed at his right arm. If she damaged the grass-sword, he would be in a world of hurt. Darting behind the tree, he said, "so you still haven't told me why _you're_ here." She paused for a moment in her headlong assault. Softly, she admitted, "I'm going to the Night-O-Sphere, Finn." At his frown, she reminded him, "murdering mom and dad are Cosmic Crimes, baby. I'm'a... I'm gonna' spend eternity down there with demons gnawin' on my body." She broke into sobs just then, and he wanted badly to comfort her, but he knew she was laying for him. Sure enough, just as he seemed to relax his guard, the Warrior Princess slashed down at his head, aiming to split his skull in two.

 **The Bad Penny will never turn up again. Now it's time for the showdown we've been building up to. Finn vs. Death.**


	49. Chapter 49

Chapter 49:

The heavy-bladed broadsword came screaming down in an arc at Finn's head. Just as planned, the heavy tree-branch over his head caught the blade, which dug in deep and stuck fast. As the surprised warrior fought to free her blade, Finn threw a karate-chop to Ingrid's chin, snapping her head back and stunning her. Then, when she let go the sword, Finn darted in, caught her arms by the wrist and deftly handcuffed her to the tree.

Momentarily, as she recovered her scattered wits, the Warrior Princess found herself standing there with her arms held high over her head. Tug as she might, she couldn't free herself from the shackles binding her arms to the tree. Softly, he said, "age and treachery beats youth every time, GP... Took me a while to figure that out." Bitterly, she said, "you think this ends it?!" "Nope," murmured Finn as he padded around her. "You're just delaying things, Finn," she shouted! "You're only delaying the inevitable. I-I could do it gently. You wouldn't feel it..." He was behind her now.

Stroking her long, blonde hair, he whispered, "let's have a chat, you and me." The way he said that, made her shiver. Resting his left hand on her hip, he said, "he may have sent you back, GP, but this belongs to _me_ now. You're mine now, just like Maja." His big mitt stroked her flank in a shockingly gentle manner. Those big hands seemed to have a facility for this sort of love-making. His touch was doing all the usual things to her, and her face went red hot as she realized that the easily-manipulated idiot thinking with his 'nads wasn't _him_. It was _her_. He'd never had trouble getting her pussy wet. As his lips teased at her throat, she said, "he won't let this s-stand, baby! He won't... I... we can't be together, and you know it." "You were Maja's Judas," Finn murmured, as he slipped his hand under her skirt. "Who's yours? Kurja's dead. Suadela's gone too." He was inches away from her prize now.

As he spoke, his right hand cupped her plump right booby, hefting the firm flesh and sending a shiver up her spine. Her hips were wriggling around now, and he knew she was feeling horny. Reaching down, he began to stroke her firm left thigh. Her breath came out in steamy gasps now, and she began to whine softly, deep in her throat, same as she always did when he was hitting the right notes. "B-baby," she hissed. "Yeah, Geeps," he replied. "Finn," she gasped, "run, baby. Run far away..." "Doin' something," he replied. He was doing _her_. Suddenly she went stiff in his arms, and he felt her skin go icy cold.

The big man jumped back as an ugly black glow began to emanate from her body. It was like her skin began to suck all the light in until the world was pitch black under the noon-day sun. Now he knew. As he watched, Ingrid tore the massive tree-branch down, freeing herself with main force before snapping the chain off his cuffs with superhuman strength. Her eyes glowed from within. "Theo," Finn greeted his nemesis. "Do you like my Angel of Death, Finn," asked Mortality? "Liked her better before you showed up," Finn retorted. "Why don't you fuck off for a while? We can talk later..." The Angel hefted that deadly sword. Finn could see the swirling faces of the souls it had claimed in the black metal.

"Pretty clever plan," said Finn. "Use my girlfriend against me." "Yeah, man," replied Death, "so why didn't it work?" "You tried too hard, dude," said Finn. "The one thing I would never have used was that fucking army. Never liked that Bonnie and Phoebes made that fucking thing." "Yeah," grumped Mortality. "Figures. Misfucking read you _again_." Ingrid–or rather her body–took a powerful swing. Blocking that swing sent a shock up his arms that felt like it could break something if he wasn't careful. _Billy's swordsmanship biz, then,_ thought the big man. Instead of blocking blows, he now turned them aside as Ingrid drove him back and back, pushing him back up the hill.

It was a bad place to be. She'd been a deadly opponent before. She was young and fit and strong, and he was old as fuck. He needed an edge. Something that would let him take her down. He'd lost Maja. Death had won the battle for Maja's life. He didn't want to lose Ingrid a second time. Now, as he was dodging those strikes and pondering what to do, the Warrior Princess suddenly stopped, throwing her arms wide, and opening herself to a counter-strike. His blood hot and his heart racing, he almost drove his blade straight into her chest. It was raw instinct and muscle-memory. The big man checked that swing, managing only to clip the necklace he'd given her.

"C'mon, Finn," chuckled Theo! "You can do better than that!" "Baby," she whimpered. "You can't save me. I'm already lost..." It was the worst kind of nightmare. Theo was trying to make him murder one of the people he loved. He wanted badly to beat the old specter's face in. After what this fucker had done to Marcy and Maja already, he really wished it was within his power to kill the prick-bastard. As if reading his mind, Mortality taunted him, "kept your vampire-toy for _weeks_. Had her makin' little rocks out of big ones... She tell you how she has to confine herself in hell? Didn't tell you that, did she? You haven't seen her lately, have you?" Finn felt a surge of panic. He and Marshall had both been calling Marceline for _months_.

"I figured you'd gut that fucking witch," Death taunted. "After your little friend got raped, figured you'd kill her for sure. Why didn't you do it, chum? Pussy too good?" "She wasn't responsible...," Finn rumbled. He was wool-gathering, and Ingrid very nearly brained him. He leaped back and barely avoided stabbing her through the belly. "You can't kill my pretty puppet," chuckled Theo! "That would make you a murderer of your own baby..." Finn frowned. "Babe," he asked? "Is this true?" With a heavy-hearted sigh, Ingrid admitted, "first shot up the tube, honey. You got me good." Shaking himself, Finn said, "we're gonna' fix this, babe. Promise." Theo laughed, "you can't even fix yourself!"

Finn backpedaled before his pregnant wife. At least he tried to. Suddenly something had him by the legs. Glancing down, he found two pairs of skeletal hands had him by either ankle. They were squeezing painfully tight, and showed no signs of letting go. As he glanced up from that, he found that sword arcing down. All he could do was block. "There's a reason I made her call you here, buddy," said Death. "This is _my_ realm." Indeed Finn could sense the undead clawing their way out of the mass graves left by Ingrid and Clarence's armies. Tears streamed down Ingrid's pretty face as her body tried to utterly crush the man she'd fallen so hard for. "I love you, baby," she sighed, as the sword slipped from his hands.

Nobody was more startled than Finn when the sword stopped, inches from his face. She would have cut him in half right down the middle. Indeed, Ingrid was still struggling to do just that. But momentarily the undead had let go of him, and Finn was able to scoot out of reach. "Who the fuck did that," howled Theo?! "Yeah," said Marceline. "That'd be me..." Every face there whirled around to find the Princess of Darkness floating there in a natty red dress. "Hey, babe," Finn greeted her. Giving his lady a good looking over, he opined, "seriously sexy, but businesslike. I like it." Theo, who'd materialized after his puppet's attempt to murder Finn got interrupted, snarled, "I got you now, bitch! They'll banish you after this!" He hadn't been able to make charges stick for her interference with his pet. Now he intended to see her banished permanently if he couldn't have her stripped of her position.

"Actually...," said Marceline. Momentarily, half the Cosmic Beings were there. "W-what gives," stammered Death! "You guys aren't supposed to reveal yourselves to a chump like this... Not like _this_." Finn chuckled, "yeah, man... Turns out I _am_ a Cosmic Being. I'm the Comet of Change." Theo's head whipped around. With a shrug, the big man said, "I'm an Avatar of the Comet..." Clearing her throat, Marceline brought Death's attention back to her. She had Simon standing beside her. "Motherfucker," said Theo! "I been lookin' for you!" Simon shrugged. He hadn't wanted to be found. Coolly, Marceline said, "know that you stand accused Theophil, Lord of Mortality, of conspiracy and collusion to flout the Laws of the Universe." Death shivered.

"Turns out, Immortal means Immortal," said Simon. "It wasn't your right to off me." Theo began to sweat, which was a comic sight. "And the whole 'tricking people using their dreams thing is kinda' outside the bounds too," Simon added. "If not for you, Penny probably would have gone off somewhere and become a nun or something..." Finn saw red at that news. All that death and destruction had been bad enough. He was horrified at what had happened to Suadela and her brother. To find that Penny might finally have gone _straight_ if not for this fucker...

The beat-down shocked nearly everybody there, but especially its object. Finn started punching, and it took a shout from Marceline to stop him. Cradling his battered skull, Death groaned, "how's that possible, man..." With a sigh, the Cosmic Owl said, "because you've been fired, Theophil. You're no longer the Master of Mortality. Your crimes are too great now to be overlooked." "Y-you can't do that," howled Death! "I did my time! This is _mine_!" Simon chuckled, "actually, it's _mine_ now." Finn's head whipped around to his father-in-law.

Grinning, Simon said, "found a new job, Finn. I'll be in touch, but not too soon. You take care of my daughter and Bets, ok?" "Yeah, man," said Finn. "Will do... Fi's gonna' ask me... We ever gonna' see you?" "Not how this works," said Simon. "I can't ever come back to the Mortal Realm... Not for pleasant reasons anyway." "But I can maybe see you in Marcy's place," said Finn. A startled Simon allowed that was true. It was time to move on, though. They couldn't keep the march of time stopped forever.

Turning to Ingrid, Simon said, "she's yours, Finn. For now. You have a chance to save her soul, but it's gonna' be tough." "I know," Finn replied. "She's carryin' a lot of baggage, man. All anyone needs is a chance, though." Frowning, he asked about Maja. "Will she ever get her mind back," he murmured? "I've answered all I can, buddy," said Simon. "Just take care of her, man. She's your burden now. I can't intervene. You understand?" He did. As the other Cosmic Beings faded from view, Finn found himself facing Marcy. "So you're going away," he murmured. With a wink, she said, "not for a long, long while, weenie." Wagging her eyebrows suggestively, she said, "been pretty busy putting all this together, so I haven't been getting my share. Expect a visit from me." And then she too was gone.

Ingrid was kneeling on the ground when Finn turned to face her. Her face was flushed, and she was panting. "I don't understand," she burbled, and she kept right on saying that as the big man began stripping off the little green dress she was wearing. The war was done. The loose ends were tied up. It was time the Hero got his reward. And Theo _had_ interrupted.

Kneeling behind her, the big man slid his arms around her, pulling her hard body close to his. Idly, his strong right hand stroked the curve of her belly. Nibbling at her ear, he whispered, "figured you were gettin' a little chubby from good eating..." Ingrid flushed. His other hand stroked her plump knobs, as he said, "we're going to be good parents, you and me. We're going to work on it together..." Soft sighs left her lips as his hands gently caressed her body. That had been part of the problem from the start. She knew violence. She was intimately acquainted with all the ways you could hurt someone. In some ways, she was more acquainted with the ways one could be hurt. Finn had shown her other things that two hands could do. He was reminding her even now, as his hands glided across the curves of her boobies, raising gooseflesh. The tall woman found herself reaching back and stroking his hard thigh. "Take that off," she whined.

Letting go, Finn stood up and said, "why don't you take it off yourself..." Blinking back the tears that wanted to come, the fallen princess turned around to face him. Finn was smiling down at her, and his hand reached out and stroked her face. His blue, blue eyes seemed to welcome her–in spite of what she'd done. "I-I don't deserve this," she sobbed. "Not yet," he agreed, "but someday you will." Kneeling once more, he slipped his arms around her and did his best to kiss the tears away.

Hungry again, the pretty princess began to pull at his jacket until the buttons finally let go, and she tore it off and flung it away. Pawing at the hem of his shirt, she finally got that open too. Then she had her hands on his beautiful, beautiful body. Her fingers felt after the rough, raised scars that he was covered in. Those scars came with names. Bonnibel. Simone. Betty. Marceline. Nadia. Emeraude. He'd shed blood for one and all, saving them at his own cost over and over. Fresh nicks and scrapes around his shoulders showed where Maja had left her mark on him. She swore right then that she would rather die than do further harm. She didn't deserve so much sacrifice as that.

Laying her back, Finn kissed his way across her cheek and down her throat, even while he continued to caress her hard body with feather-light touches that left her tingling. He really couldn't help kissing the bump that marked their child, and that made her shiver. And when he reached her hot snatch, he found she was already pretty moist. It was something she'd had no idea was done. Clarence had wanted her to do something like this to him, but she'd refused. Now, as Finn went down on her, causing her to shudder and thrash, she found herself changing her mind. This was what you did for someone who loved and cared for you, and she wanted to return the favor. Hips straining, hands clawing the ground, Ingrid went soaring over the edge.

As his pretty princess lay panting for breath, the big man stood and got out of the rest of his clothes. When he was done with that, Ingrid practically jerked him off his knees. Wrapping her long, lean legs around him, she began grinding her hips against his, showing him how hot for this she was. It took two tries to get into position because she was so frantic. "Aaaaiiigh," she wailed, as he finally hit the spot. Catching her lips with his, he savored her cries and squeals as he slowly made love to her. Soaring higher and higher, the fallen princess strained against him, her hips surging. Her hands were balled tight into fists such that she left fingernail marks on both palms, and she found herself screaming with every thrust. They crashed together, Finn shouting her name as she wailed in triumph.

Laying there in a tangle with her, the big man said, "so... What we going to name him?" "How do you know what it is," she asked? "Got a good feeling," Finn replied. "Well," said Ingrid. "I never thought we'd have the chance to name him." "Well, I guess I'll have to think of something," he replied. Primly, she told him, "we will go to the Royal Library. There's a list of approved names there." "Date," Finn said. In the now, it was time they were getting home. The girls were going to worry as it was.

It was days later that Finn awoke from the calmest night he'd had in what seemed like eternity. He'd gone for a ride on the Ingrid Express the previous night and had Strudel for dessert. Now, as the first rays of sunlight came streaming in the window, the big man climbed out from between the two beauties and slipped away to the toilet to take a leak. As he was heading back to the bedroom after washing up, he found himself coming face to face with Baba Yaga.

She was dressed in one of her typical high-fashion numbers–a skin-tight turquoise dress that would have raised a hard dick on a statue. His big sister was a gorgeous woman still. He was glad to see her recovered from the fight with the undead, but he was a little startled to find her here. Last he'd seen her, Piotr was hauling her back to the Lena for a dip. "Talia," he burbled. "You _remember me_ ," she teased. Finn blushed to his hair. But then his eyes were suddenly drawn to a bundle that sat beside her feet. With a shrug, she said, "time to pay up, gigolo." Striding forward, the big man snatched his sister out of her chair and hugged the stuffing out of her. Her eyes were wet when he put her down, but she was still trying to put on her tough-girl pose.

Knowing how difficult travel was for her, he asked, "want a bath? I can have Peps make you up a nice, muddy one..." That kind act did in the last of the bravado. Sitting back down, she spent a while staring at the bundle, and he could see she was on the ragged edge of tears. The bundle was wriggling around under the blankets. "Is it...," he asked? "My great grand niece, Nadezhda," murmured Baba Yaga, "and my heir." His face snapped up to hers. "I'm not going to live forever, Finn," she said. "I'm already the second oldest Baba Yaga that ever lived. Some day I'll be gone. My people... those who remain... need a leader." He had a feeling about where this was going. "I'll take good care of her," he said. "I'll make sure she knows all about the wonderful things you've done in this world..." Softly, Talia interrupted, "I want her to know that the River isn't all there is to the world, Finn. Teach her that. Teach her about the other peoples... The ones I hurt with my meddling." Solemnly, he promised he would do just that.

Rising, the Rusalka turned to go. When she was standing at the door of his suite, she said, "I guess this will be goodbye..." "Nope," said Finn. "It's 'see-you-later'... I'm doin' the round-robin of all the kingdoms. I'll drop in..." Her mouth came open. Coolly, he said, "not open to negotiation, T. That's how it will be." Her face went red hot, but she said nothing to that. Throwing her hands up, she said, "you'd better bring the pizza then, because I don't cook." And with that, she strode out the door, leaving him with a puzzlement and a promise to keep. Moving to the basket, he drew back the sheets, finding a darling little baby-girl there. "C'mon little one," he said. "Got a lot of friends for you to make."

 **One last little bit of Fan Service. :)**


	50. Chapter 50

Epilogue:

The sound of his door opening, alerted the King of Ooo that he had a visitor. Finn looked up from the letter he'd been composing to find Ingrid coming across his office towards him. She was wearing one of the diaphanous gowns that all his ladies seemed to like now, its soft folds showing off her swollen belly. She was in the final stages of pregnancy now. Brushing her soft blonde hair back, the sexy amazon smiled at him as she approached. Finn licked his lips as he watched her big, pregnant boobies sway under the soft glass threads.

Slipping into his lap, the sexpot murmured, "are you still going?" With a sigh, Finn said, "kind of have to, babe." He took this King of Ooo thing seriously. He had to go look in on something on the far side of the world near Sakura's place. Honestly though, he knew much of her disappointment stemmed from the fact that Nadia would be going with him. Of course it _was_ her flying machine, just as Sakura was her neighbor. "I'll be back in time for the birth," murmured Finn.

That was what a man did. A man juggled his family against his work, even if he sacrificed himself. Both were too important to let fall. More to the point, this was Ingrid's first and last real chance. Simon and Marceline had gone to bat for her, and now she had to prove herself worthy of that or find herself in the Night-O-Sphere with all the demons of eternity gnawing on her bod. There was still a lot of darkness in her, much as there had been in Cherry. Finn had made it a project to show her what a family was meant to feel like.

Sliding his arms around her swollen middle, he kissed Ingrid's cheek. It was all she got these days–a major source of frustration when she could _hear_ him fucking the shit out of one of the others across much of the week. He was getting better rest now, though. The pack of princesses still had kingdoms to run, and they were gone as often as they were present. "Maja's been asking for you," sighed Ingrid. Having figuratively helped to destroy the witch's mind, Ingrid was suffering a serious bout of remorse, even if Theo _had_ egged her on to do it, and she often looked in on the madwoman. Finn nodded. Work had been in the way. Again. Still. He stopped by to look in on her as often as he could, but he had a world to run. There was so much to do cleaning up the mess left by the Lich and his evil creations, and he was still working on getting his own castle built in the west. Giving his lady a kiss, Finn told her he would stop by and see the sorceress before he left town.

Ingrid went her way, and the big man finished up the letter he'd written. He was sending a message to Aysun. The Emerald Princess was flexing her muscles now, looking for ways to exploit the chaos that Ooo was suffering. Like Abeiuwa before her, she was trying to advance herself and make hay out of the madness. As with Abeiuwa, Finn wasn't having any of it. He wasn't above putting her over his knee again, both literally and figuratively. Right now, with Ingrid's army and his own, plus access to Nadia's tech, and a few Fire Elementals, Finn had the power to make Aysun _howl_. Folding the letter away, he called out to his secretary to take it.

"You know you're supposed to dictate them," teased Breakfast. It was slutty pregnant-girl look today. It was usually slutty something-or-other with her. Freed at last of the burden of her throne and all its responsibilities, she had become a happier, _mellower_ person. Finn teased her, "nah-uh. Dictating to princesses can get you in all kinds of trouble, man." Stroking the bulge occupying her middle with the tip of a finger, Breakfast teased him back, "if I'm a _man_ , how did you manage to do _this_ to me?" Finn flushed to his hair. Yeah, she had him there.

Serious again, he asked, "how's Toast?" "Better," she replied. "Caught her watching your son-in-law's ass the other day." Which meant she was getting back to her old, slutty self. "Thank-you for caring, Finn," his wife sighed. The big man frowned at her, but she took the letter and slipped out once more. She was getting better too, but the damage done to her sisters was still heavy on her mind. Rising, Finn grabbed his coat and headed out. Breakfast had already sent his bag down. Now he had just one stop to make before leaving.

Maja's _prison_ was more gilded cage than anything. Knowing that Death had set her up to add the spark to the war Wildberry had started as a means to 'get mortality back on track' on Ooo had gone a long way towards reducing a lot of the anger against her. Most of the princesses of Ooo actually felt sorry for her in her current condition. Bonnie had set her up in a corner of the Candy Palace with a beautiful wall-walk that was hers alone, and Finn would sometimes spend hours out there with her watching the sunrise or sunset while they read from the extensive collection of books he'd brought from her old library.

Leaving Breakfast at her desk in his private office, Finn got up and headed across the palace to the VIP section of Bonnie's dungeon. On his way there, he ran into Dr. Princess, who had just got done looking in on his prisoners. Semi-retired now, the good doctor now spent most of her time looking after Finn's rather large extended family. Her brown eyes sparkled as she came down the hall towards him, wearing her trademark labcoat and sweater-dress. She put an extra sway into her step, making her sexy broad hips wig-wag back and forth.

As Drew Princess approached, Finn caught her by the waist and pulled her into his arms. As they kissed, Finn grabbed a handful of her full bottom, giving that magnificent muscle a squeeze. "Mmm," moaned the beautiful older woman. "I was hoping I'd see you before you went..." Finn grinned at her. Waggling a finger under his nose, she said, "not for that, sweetie, though the thought gives me a thrill..." Frowning, Finn asked, "is something wrong?" "Nothing serious," Drew replied. "Just wanted to remind you to look in on Little-Maja. It helps her..." He knew. There were days Maja seemed as if she would be alright, but there were scary days when she had seizures and fits. Simone's research into the toxin that nearly killed her was bearing little fruit, and there were days Drew feared she might well be getting worse.

Giving him a peck on the lips, Drew turned to go. As she was walking away, she said, "I don't agree with your taking Nadia with you. Cyborg or not, she's getting a bit far along to be running around." Finn sighed, "she insists on going, Drew. I... can't make her stay." Drew flushed. She knew the game right enough. None of them were happy to see their husband flying off to these far-flung locales by himself. He'd more than earned the rest, and they had more than earned the right to have him to themselves. _But that ship has sailed,_ thought Drew, as she declared, "no fighting, and a good eight hours of sleep every night. Alone, Finn."

The King of Ooo blushed to his hair at that snarky comment. Truth be told, Finn wasn't happy to have Nadia tagging along. Nor was he the one likely to be frisky. He'd been seeing signs that the Curse might not be gone after all, and Sybil had told him that she still felt it somehow. If it was still active, that meant his kids–and, by extension their mothers–were still in danger. He wanted to go to Wizard City and look into it with Simone and Emeraude, but, in the now, he continued on his way to see Maja.

The VIP dungeon was forever home of a quintet of misbehaving princesses. Bathilde held down the cell in the corner. She was still in a state of profound shock. Along with the Berry-folk, her people had born the brunt of Suadela's attack. The Dipped had killed _thousands_ and laid waste to Elbow Kingdom. Yolanda had the cell next door. She was content, if not _happy_ with her weights and her endless rounds on the treadmill and stair-stepper. Maudie was next in the line, and she was bitter and shrill to Bathilde's shock and despair. She had cussed Finn so often that the big man routinely expected the rough side of her tongue whenever he came here. If she didn't cuss him, he sent Drew in to see if she was alright.

Maudie's closest neighbor was also her closest friend. Wildberry. The pretty berry-woman spent her days on a letter-writing campaign aimed at a reduction in her rather harsh sentence. It was strident letters of protest or cajoling requests for clemency. She'd directed those missives at Finn early on. While he had the right to pardon her, Finn refused to override the votes of every princess on Ooo. Not when Wildberry was still insisting she'd done all those awful things for the right reason. Now she was writing every princess besides Bonnie, Belle, Ragnhild, Nadia, Abeiuwa, Toast, and Hurletta. She was angry at Finn and humiliated that he'd warmed her buns with his belt, so she ignored his greeting. She wasn't going anywhere anytime soon, so Finn was cool with that.

Blargetha was at the door of her cell as he approached, looking natty in a hip-hugging purple dress. "Hey, B," said Finn. _She_ was boldly demanding–insisting on everything from outright freedom to a suite worthy of a royal. Today was no different, as she lit into him, snarling, "why am I given no windows–not even a skylight, while that fucking witch has a _balcony_?! This is an outrage! I'm a princess!" Smiling, Finn said, "when you stop trying to escape, I'll consider it." The slime-woman glared at him. Finn gave her a sweet smile and turned to go. "Wait," said she. Finn stopped. Her eyes held that same calculating look she always gave him. Shrugging her shoulders, she let her dress slide down a little baring a little of the strange _flesh_ Maja had gifted her with. "I'd be willing to pay," she said.

 _That_ was a new one. Usually she just treated him like a fucking peasant, and either insulted him and all his family or tried to boss him around like _he_ was the prisoner. It said something about maybe how miserable she was that she would do this. At the same time, it was the craziest offer he'd ever gotten, and he imagined that she'd gotten tired of testing the electrified gratings that brought air to her cell and the electrified bars on the door. She was much too big in her present form to slip past those, and she was much too vain to give up her new body, so she was pretty much here to stay. Finn laughed, "I'm already getting more than I can handle..." "You don't know what you're missing," shouted the evil princess! Shaking his head, Finn continued up the hall as Blargetha's curses and threats rang out behind him.

Arriving at Maja's place, Finn knocked on the door. She answered immediately, all but tearing the door open. He'd had to admonish her about that. She was prone to wander, and she'd nearly fallen down the stairs once during one of her _episodes_. They called her Little-Maja now. She was a bit of a mess with a mind more like a nine-year-old than the cunning and evil woman who'd engaged him in a battle of wits for the fate of the world. The toxin had twisted her mind beyond recognition, and Finn pitied her. Some days he found himself wanting to wring Ingrid's neck. He had managed, against the odds, to _save_ the woman who'd been the Sky Witch from herself. He'd saved Maja from the darkness, but Ingrid had wrecked all his work with a few well-chosen words.

Maja, who was nattering on in her usual childish way, suddenly stopped, causing Finn to realize he was staring at her. It was the pity in him. He pitied her not least because she'd merely been Death's puppet. Theo could have let her be–let her live in her warped dreams in the space between life and death. Instead, he'd dragged her back into the land of the living and set her on a fool's errand to break the world for his amusement. That plan was now stopped, but they were still cleaning up the fallout.

One piece of that fallout was his daily game of Card Wars. He'd never been a fan of the game. After that one awful afternoon with Jake, he'd never played again until that fateful night in Engagement Ring Kingdom. Having taught Maja to play that wild night after they left Connie's party, he now found himself with an eternal opponent. Maja wanted to play every day. She could have played for hours–even _days_ –at a stretch. It was all she ever wanted to do. She was happy and almost-normal when she was immersed in a game. Finn indulged her as much as he could. Pity was a strong-suit of his.

He'd feared early on that Cherry would leave him over it, but strangely enough, she understood it maybe better than him. He'd tried to save _her_ soul, after all, and she'd had to watch her grandparents lose their minds in their old age. She'd actually confided to Star that she wasn't angry anymore. She no longer felt the all-consuming rage when she thought about the day Rootbeer died defending the Kingdom. All the old anger was gone, and for that Finn was thankful. He would gladly take the karma of having to play Card Wars with Maja every day to have one of his most-troubled wives mostly back to her old self again.

Of course that left him with new trials to face. He was constantly looking out for Toast–looking for signs of distress or depression. The men he'd assigned as her bodyguards were there to protect his old friend from _herself_ as much as against enemies. And of course he had to deal with his discomfort with Maja's condition. He'd been intimate with her. Twice. It was every kind of creepy having to deal with her in this state. If that wasn't enough, having her seven months preggers left him struggling to hold onto his own sanity every day.

He wasn't sure if he'd knocked her up that crazy night in Emerald Kingdom after she'd tried and failed to wake the Firebleeder. Or it could have been the night he'd banged the shit out of her before the battle with Suadela's undead. They'd gone at it for hours on both nights, and he'd held nothing back at all. Not that it really mattered, when it had happened. She was happily knocked-up, even if she didn't really understand it, and now Finn had that karma to deal with too. Drew had told Maja about what it meant to have a baby, and she was thrilled, but they all knew she was utterly incapable of caring for even herself right now. More to the point, Finn was absolutely terrified that the same toxins that had shattered Maja's mind would twist the baby too.

They had, collectively, been blessed. Cole, Van, and Ember were all doing well, with no after-effects from the Quicksilver Curse. Now they were looking at long odds for Abeiuwa's daughter–due real-soon-now–and now for little Chiang. "They said you were going," whined Little-Maja. Hugging her–and trying not to be creeped out about having his girlfriend hugging him while she had the mind of a child–Finn said, "yeah, M... I have to." Strangely enough, Maja understood that. She would cry when he had to go on these trips, but she never asked him to stop. Maybe it was a submerged remnant of her shattered personality, but she understood what it meant to be King of Ooo. "You'll call, right," she pleaded? "Yeah," said Finn. "I'll call. We can do a few moves, ok?" Delighted, the madwoman stood on her toes and kissed his cheek. She was like a little girl with a crush. Finn gave her another hug, though he felt tremendous sadness looking at her like this. When he let go, she stood there smiling like a child who'd just gotten a piece of candy. Forcing himself to smile back when he really wanted to cry, Finn turned and got on his way. Karma. Yeah, karma sucked hard.

His driver, part time bodyguard, and full-time son-in-law was waiting with the car, and he set off as soon as Finn was settled in the rear seat. He was expecting a crop of grandkids to go with his third wave of kids, and he found himself going a little giddy thinking about it. Fionna was preggers with her second kid. Billy had a baby boom of his own going on. Bon and Frenchie were expecting alongside Randy and Shoko, and, in the middle of all that, there were signs that Star was finally starting a family of her own. He'd have plenty of company in his old age when he was finally able to walk away from all this.

Up ahead, Billy Mertens was dealing with his own _situation_. The saying went 'happy wife, happy life'. Which basically meant he was fucked. Proper fucked. Ragnhild, Abeiuwa, and Noemi had agreed to _share_ , but that was all they were able to agree on. The trio fought like a basket of soggy cats over everything from where they were spending winter to how the kids were to be raised–and with all three knocked up, there were a whole lot of hormones in play. He'd vowed not to find himself in a jam like this, but the world had blown that hope away. Now he'd unluckily stumbled on the one other thing the trio agreed on.

None of them was happy he was still going on missions with his dad. Honestly, what was he supposed to do? Let him go alone? Fi, Shoko, and Star were preggers, Marshall was neutral, and Bon had the Candy Kingdom to run. There was nobody else to go, and he told them that. Ragnhild glanced away, and Abeiuwa glared at him. Noemi, ever the schemer, opened her mouth to suggest she go along. Billy shut her down, earning an irritated 'humph!'

Thor roared up with Finn in the back of the car. Almost as soon as the car was stopped, the King of Ooo was getting out. As Thor fished his bag from the trunk, Finn passed his son and daughters-in-law. He'd managed to get himself used to the idea that his son was boning three of his old girlfriends. Now he greeted them with a polite, 'ladies', as he passed by. Knowing his dad always cut it close, Billy moved on. He planted a heartfelt kiss on Ragnhild, promising to call and read to the boys. As always Abeiuwa played at being prickly. Seizing her still-hard body, he planted a scorching kiss on her plump lips, noting with some satisfaction the way she began to grind her hips against his. Turning to Noemi, he slipped his arms around her broad hips as he admonished her, "stay out of trouble..." Kissing her sweet lips, the younger man shouldered his bag and headed up the ramp.

Almost as soon as Billy was aboard, the ramp began to close. On the flight deck, Finn found his naughty cyborg fuck-beast going through the final stages of preparing for takeoff. Settling himself in the copilot's seat, Finn put his hand on Nadia's and said, "whenever you're ready, baby..." Grinning, Nadia, the Grid-Face Princess, eased the throttle forward, causing the aircraft to rise into the sky.

Nearby, a pair of beautiful faces observed the glint of sun on the airship's aluminum skin as they sat in the fall sun. Marceline Abadeer had all but forgotten what that felt like. "He's off again," sighed the Lord of Darkness. He'd been crazy busy these last months. She was trying to be philosophical about it, but it was tough. It helped to be here with her other favorite person. Bonnie was being girly today, wearing a sexy lace dressing gown that left little of her eternally hot body to the imagination. Marceline had sort of expected to get laid when she showed up, but Bonnie wasn't even trying to be coy.

"And what about you," said Bonnie. "When do you...? She meant the takeover. Marceline smirked. "Not like you're thinking," she said. "Dad's a little bent out of shape because his golf-partner's in solitary. Don't think he's retiring now." It was good news. Marceline no longer needed to exile herself, and that pleased her girlfriend immensely. "Told you I had it covered," Marceline crowed. Leering at her girl-toy, the demoness said, "now. You were _supposed_ to be putting together that threesome. How are you going to make it up to me since you _clearly_ failed to get number three...?"

Bonnie stood up and slipped into Marceline's lap, straddling her slim thighs. In moments the pair were intensely making out. Ironically, far from being the soft touch, it was Marceline that was rough, squeezing the pink princess's perky boobies almost hard enough to hurt. By contrast, Finn often treated them as if they'd break. The bubblegum woman did her share of touching, eventually managing to strip off the former vampire's leather jacket and then her blouse. Fingering the very feminine lace bra Marceline wore, the princess giggled, "that's very pretty!"

It was a comment _calculated_ to push buttons. " _Pretty_ , eh," growled the Dark Lord. Marceline picked up her pretty toy, carried her to the bed, and threw her on it. As the pink one played with herself, the demoness slipped out of her heels and micro-mini-skirt before climbing into bed. The two immediately went back at it, caressing and exploring each other.

They were well into it when a worried Peppermint Butler followed his master up to the door. He'd cast the aura-alteration spell on Ms. Sarah because she'd been planning to play a _prank_ on Marceline. After all the trouble the former vampire had brought him, he was happy to help. At least he was until he realized he'd been duped. Now he was desperate to stave off the expected fireworks, but the princess wasn't listening. Indeed, as she opened her bedroom door on a lurid scene, Bonnie forgot all about the butler.

"Sarah," she babbled? "Y-you... Are you stealing my girlfriend too?!" Sarah Mertens shoved a surprised Marceline on her back and pinned her there. Coolly, she said, "you _owe_ me, Bonnie. Get your ass in here and get out of that dress. And close the door. We're not doing a show for _him_." Face hot and stunned by this turn of events, Bonnibel shut the door in her butler's face. The subsequent rustle of cloth told Peppermint Butler all he needed to know. Face gone red hot, the manservant tore out of there as Sarah declared, "I've got some more candy for you, Marceline..."

 **And thus ends the saga of the King of Ooo...**

 **I know a number of you have expressed a desire for another story arc. I'm not sure I'm ready to do that again at this time, as I'm pursuing some efforts at getting my own original material published. With that said, if I do find the time, I'd gladly take up the pen again and look in on Finn's crazy family.**

 **I would also invite anyone interested in taking up the thread from here to write their own follow-on if they so desire. I've left a number of possible threads to pursue:**

 **1.) (The obvious question...) Does Maja get her mind back?**

 **2.) What happens to Maja's baby?**

 **3.) For that matter, does Ingrid manage to redeem herself?**

 **4.) Both Billy and Simone are 'sharing' their bodies with the entities that were the Ice-Crowns. What kind of long-term fallout will that cause?**

 **5\. Are the Hyoomens all gone? Is Susan still alive?**

 **6.) What happens to Finn's captive princesses? There are at least two evil geniuses amongst the pack. It could be devastating if either Blargetha or Wildberry escaped.**

 **7.) Do the aliens come back? Where there was one alien army, there could well be others?**

 **8.) Do any more humans return to Ooo?**

 **9.) Is the Quicksilver Curse truly gone? Or has it merely been put to sleep?**

 **10.) Jungle Kingdom's got a LOT of radioactive ore in storage. What if the storage bunker starts to go critical?**


End file.
